Reality in Reality

I was once one of the weak – the weak that couldn’t think aloud, the weak that were expected
to breed children, the weak that were expected to tend to the men. Every morning, I would
slowly slip on the black skirt – the skirt too short, the skirt that revealed me, the skirt that
made my knuckles bone-white in colour whenever I touched it. Despite hours of complaining
and returning with a hoarse throat, I’m still required to wear it. Every. Single. Day.

However, in this world, I am no longer one of the weak. I have the decision – the decision to
choose my gender and become a man. I can now become one of the strong; I can now wear
pants, I can now get my voice heard, I can now show others how anyone can be anything they
want. At every new dawn, I would grab my sharp sword and run to the forests, run to the
caves, run to where ever I wanted and slay those who stood in my way. After getting tired of
running, I would fly, fly with my dragon, fly up beyond the clouds, fly up and away from hell
itself. I will never regret lining up for hours to buy the game, waiting with people who live to
play games. I now understand why people crave for this game, why they so desperately want
to escape the harsh reality that we all live in. This world is now my reality.

When I returned home late after waiting in line to buy the game, my husband got furious
despite the text I sent to him. I’ve always known my husband to have a bad temper,
especially when it came to taking care of the children. His face was flaming red like fires
from hell, an ugly scowl plastered on his face. He started screaming insults at me,
complaining how hard his life was trying to take care of the kids.

“Terra, where have you been?”

“I’ve been out buying the groceries and the game I told you about, “ I replied, keeping a
straight face.

“Why the heck would you come home three hours late just to buy a game?” My husband’s
fists slammed onto the dented wooden dinner table, rocking the foundations of the house. In
the background, empty beer bottles rolling in front of the muted television shook with fright.

“Honey, I’ve been working 16-hour shifts almost every day just to keep us alive whereas
you’ve been sitting and binge-drinking beer for months. Do you even know where the kids
are and what they enjoy doing?”

“I’m the boss around here. I can do whatever I want. Besides, the doctor told me I should get
better by drinking beer and taking time off work, “ huffed my husband.

“Fine, suit yourself. I’m going to make dinner for the kids,” I barked. Flicking my head
around, I marched out of the lounge room and into the kitchen. There isn’t a single day that
goes by where I wish I was never married to this useless man. If only the world wasn’t
controlled by a corrupt government of rich men. If only there was a world where women
could freely decide on what job they wanted. That would be reality.

After serving dinner to my two kids, I dragged my blistered feet into my room and started up
the game console. Ever since I was a teen, I’ve always wanted to try gaming on the new
virtual reality consoles. When the new era of virtual reality devices came about, the world
immediately exploded with controversy. These helmets called Nerve Gears were able to
interpret and manipulate a person’s thoughts as they played a game. People considered it
dangerous as these helmets linked the subconscious state of the person to a worldwide server.
Anyone with adequate knowledge could easily bypass the security system and alter one’s
entire life of memories. Despite these warnings, people still use these helmets to experience a
different world to the fullest potential through games. And I was about to be one of them.

With trembling hands, I slowly inserted the game card into the console and slipped the helmet
onto my head. In order for a person to enter one of these games requiring the Nerve Gear, the
person must first be in a semi-unconscious state – the dream state. As soon as I closed my
eyes, my subconsciousness slowly slipped into the game through a sea of colours.

My eyes snapped open and I found myself floating in an endless hollow void. In front of me,
the green holographic words ‘Welcome’ flickered brightly in greeting. As I lifted my hands
to touch it, the words abruptly shimmered out and were replaced with another set of words.
Slowly, I read through the terms and conditions then went on to choose my new character.
There were two choices I could pick from – the male or the female. Instinctively, my hand
went towards the female option but after realising what I was doing to myself, I went for the
male option. I bought this game to escape the reality I was living in and not to witness the
repeat of what was happening right now in my real life.

I spawned into a medieval-looking town dressed in the most unrevealing pants I’ve ever been
in for the past ten years. Around me were people were wearing long dresses and casual
clothing with heavy iron armour with unique emblems imprinted all over them. As I gazed at
the wooden and stone-made buildings all around me, I saw horse-drawn carts clatter past me
loudly on the cobbled road with people walking along the sides. I began walking around, eyes
wide with curiosity, eager to check out everything about the new town that lay out before my
eyes.

After walking for a while, I encountered a kind woman who taught me what players could do
in this game. She started by telling me how anyone was able to pick any job they wanted,
regardless of how unrealistic it might sound. She then told me how anyone of any gender
could travel around freely, make a new family, voice their opinions on issues freely, ride
mythical beasts, perform magic, and much more. My mouth was gaping wide open in awe as
she explained how I could chase my dreams freely. The real world never provided women the
choice of being able to do anything. In this world, anything was possible in this game for
both women and men.

The real world once consisted of a society like the one in this game - a world where women
were free to choose how they wanted their future to be without their future being controlled
and mapped out from birth by the men who created them. Over time, men slowly became the
dominant gender of the human species as they were seen by many to be superior to women in
many aspects of society. A political party of men quickly rose to power and overthrew the
current political party at that time which advocated for each gender to have their own free
choices in their own lives. Their goal was to allocate more power to men within society,
enabling them to take control of the decisions and lives in which women would have.

To this day forth, women are restrained by their masters. Males constantly ensure that every
move made by the women they are in charge of will not go unnoticed or unpunished if the
actions committed defy the law. Despite the fear of being punished, people of all ages still
risk trying to break these laws. These women will give up anything to have a taste of the
freedom they once had. Even their lives.

Wondering around town for hours was worth more than I ever wanted. After talking to
everyone I encountered, I began to understand why so many people I talked to had wide
smiles on their faces. All these people were like me, all having the desire to escape the harsh
reality in which we all live in. They wanted to become teachers, voice their opinions on
political situations without fright, walk around town without cameras gazing upon their every
action. This was a world we all wanted to live in. The free world.

It wasn’t long before I created a new daily routine which revolved around playing this game
to escape reality. It started with waking up, making breakfast for the children, going to work,
returning from work, making dinner for the children, then going onto the game for a couple
of hours. The next day right after work, I rushed home as quickly as possible and made
dinner without a word, served it to the kids then went straight to my room and entered the
game.

Every second in reality is an hour in the game. Not long after I entered the town I first
spawned in yesterday, I encountered the kind woman yet again.

“Salutations! What brings you back into the game?” greeted the kind woman.

“I have a dream, a dream which I’ve always wanted to come true in real life,” I replied.

“What is that dream of yours?”

“If I told you what it was, bad things would happen to me in the real world.”

“My dear, this world exists to bring life to these dreams of yours. You are able to do anything
because the game’s intent is to let you to. Chase after your dreams in this new world of yours.
Never give up on them no matter what the cost will be.”

“Please do not tell others of this. My dream is to become a doctor, an occupation never
allowed to be undertaken by women in my real world.”

“If that is your dream, let me help you grasp it into your hands.”

Without a second thought, the woman whisked me away in her grasp, leading me to a library
available to anyone willing to seek the knowledge that was hidden inside all the books.

When I awoke from the game, I the heard a faint scuttling outside my door. Groggily, I went
to the door and opened it, expecting one of my kids to be outside waiting for me to cook
breakfast for them. Instead, I was greeted by the sly grin of my husband’s face. My eyes
widened in surprise and I stumbled back a bit.

“Enjoying the game?”

“Yes.”

“Go make breakfast.”

My husband left me to make breakfast and we never spoke of the game ever again for the
next few weeks. He left me rattled a bit there. No one must know what that game is about.
Not a single soul.

A few weeks passed since I first started playing this game. After encountering the kind
woman who I first met at the start of the game a few more times, I’m now a certified doctor
in the game, an occupation no women would’ve ever gotten in the reality in which I live in.
The woman has guided me and continually encouraged me to continue chasing after my
dream despite knowing that people would despise me if they knew. No one knows that I’m a
woman in reality pretending to be a man. If my husband finds out that I’m playing a game
like this, he’d probably get furious and report me to the law enforcement officers.

I didn’t expect my husband to be snooping around in my bedroom and trying out my games
until he arrived outside the door to my room.

“Terra! Come here!” he growled, narrowing his eyes.

“Yes, honey? What’s wrong?” I answered, stepping out to greet him.

“I didn’t expect you to buy a game with free will in it.”

“What?”

“You know what I’m talking about so don’t play dumb with me. Playing a game which
advocates the free will of women.”

“What’s so bad about the free will of women?” I snapped back, disgusted by the fact that he
still follows the laws which segregate women.

“You know men are born to be superior to women. If I see you back in that game once more,
I’ll make sure you suffer so badly so that you’ll never want to play that game again.”

With that, my husband left me standing in my room, fists pale, making me even more
determined to play the game. Right after he left the room, I immediately slammed the door
and plugged myself into the game. I wanted to live in the game even more than I wanted to
live in reality itself. I wanted to be free from my husband’s commanding voice, free from the
laws that controlled our every action. I took the risk to keep playing the game, knowing that
if law enforcement officers found me out, I would be punished. I wanted to encourage other
women to chase their dreams even if they might not come true and so, I decided to stay in the
world as a kind woman, encouraging others and guiding them to make their dreams come
true.