Lëssøñ Pårågråph

03 Unity AND coherence

Task 1. Odd one out

Read the following outlines and choose among A, B, C the one which differs itself from others.

1. Childhood diabetes has many possible effects.

A. Obesity is a major cause of diabetes
B. Children with diabetes must avoid certain nutrients necessary for their growth
C. Children with diabetes need constant medical care

2. Train stations are interesting places to visit.

A. The architecture of each train station is often connected to the history of a city
B. The passengers are frequently more interesting to watch than other types of travelers
C. Trains are a good alternative for people who are afraid of flying

3. Instructors should take steps to prevent students from cheating on exams.

A. One of the problems with our school is the lack of discipline
B. Instructors should make it clear to students that there will be stiff penalties for cheating
C. Instructors should not reuse previous tests

Understanding paragraph unity

Task 2
Read and give your comments on the following paragraph.

(1) There are two main reasons why I have decided to attend Bringston University next year. (2) Applying
to a college is a terribly complicated process. (3) Some of my friends chose colleges for very bad reasons.
(4) John has never been to college. (5) I have met his grandmother, and she still has an incredibly sharp
mind for a woman of her age. (6) Susan chose a university because the food in the regions was said to be
quite good. (7) Susan is really not too clever, I suppose, so I shouldn’t criticize her. (8) Actually, I think it
was her father who made the choice for her.

In your opinion, what makes this an indecent paragraph? How do you improve the paragraph?
Task 3
Read the following paragraph and give your comments. How is it better than the one in Task 2?

The changing economic picture has led many people to move away from the rural community where
I was raised. Over the years, farmland has become more and more expensive. Years ago, a family
could buy each of its children twenty-five acres on which they could start farming. Today, the price of
land is so high that the average farmer cannot afford to buy this amount of land. Those who choose
not to farm have few alternatives, since factories have moved out of the area and have taken with
them the jobs that many young people used to opt for after high school. As a result, many eighteen-
year-olds have no choice but to move to cities to find employment.

Focus
The paragraph in task 3 is said to be unified, while the one in task 2 is not. As you analyze their
differences, can you explain what paragraph unity means?

Practice 1
Cross out any sentences that do not belong in the followig paragraphs. Explain what helps you decide
they should be crossed out.

Paragraph 1
Adventure travel is the hot trend in the tourism industry. Ordinary people are no longer content to spend
their two weeks away from the office resting on a sunny beach in Florida. More and more often, they
are choosing to spend their vacations rafting down wild rivers, hiking through steamy rain forests,
climbing the world's highest mountains, or crossing slippery glaciers. People of all ages are choosing
educational study tours for their vacations.
Paragraph 2
Daredevil sports are also becoming popular. Young people especially are increasingly willing to risk life
and limb while mountain biking, backcountry snowboarding, or high-speed skateboarding. Soccer is
also popular in the United States now, although football is still more popular. One of the riskiest new
sports is skysurfing, in which people jump out of airplanes with boards attached to their feet. Skysurfing
rivals skydiving and bungee jumping for the amount of thrills - and risk.

Paragraph 1
Because the Internet makes the world a smaller place, the value of having a common language is greatly
increased. The question is-which language? Because the Internet grew up in the United States, the largest
percentage of its content is now in English. Bill Gates, Microsoft's president, believes that English will
remain valuable for a long time as a common language for international communication. His company
spends $200 million a year translating software into other languages. He says, "Unless you read English
passably well, you miss out on some of the Internet experience." Someday, software may be available
to instantly translate both written and spoken language so well that the need for any common language

2
could decline. That day is decades away, however, because flawless machine translation is a very tough
problem. Computer spelling checkers also exist for various languages. Software that does crudes
translations already exists. It is useful if all you are trying to do is understand the general idea of something
you see on your computer screen. However, if you are trying to negotiate a contract or discuss a scientific
subject where details are important, machine translation is totally useless (Gates).

Paragraph 2
Even when you try to be polite, it is easy to do the wrong thing inadvertently in a new culture. For example,
when someone offers you food or a beverage in the United States, accept it the first time it is offered. If
you say, "No, thank you" because it is polite to decline the first one or two offers in your culture, you could
become very hungry and thirsty in the United States. There, a host thinks that "no" means "no" and will
usually not offer again. Meals in the United States are usually more informal than meals in other countries,
and the times of meals may be different. Although North Americans are usually very direct in social
matters, there are a few occasions when they are not. If a North American says, "Please drop by
sometime," he mayor may not want you to visit him in his home. Your clue that this may not be a real
invitation is the word "sometime." In some areas of the United States, people do not expect you to visit
them unless you have an invitation for a specific day and time. In other areas of the United States,
however, "dropping by" is a friendly, neighborly gesture. Idioms are often difficult for newcomers to
understand.

FOUR WAYS TO ACHIEVE COHERENCE

1. Repeat key nouns
2. Use consistent pronouns
3. Use transition signals to link ideas
4. Arrange your ideas in logical order

Example of key nouns repeated

1 Gold, a precious metal, is prized for two important characteristics. 2 First of all, gold has a lustrous
beauty that is resistant to corrosion. 3 Therefore, it is suitable for jewelry, coins, and ornamental purposes.
4 Gold never needs to be polished and will remain beautiful forever. 5 For example, a Macedonian coin
remains as untarnished today as the day it was made 25 centuries ago. 6 Another important characteristic
of gold is its usefulness to. industry and science. 7 For many years, it has been used in hundreds of
industrial applications, such as photography and dentistry. 8 The most recent use of gold is in astronauts'
suits. 9Astronauts wear gold-plated shields for protection when they go outside spaceships in space. 10
ln conclusion, gold is treasured notonly for its beauty but also for its utility.

3
Consistent pronouns

Understanding paragraph coherence

Task 4
Read the following paragraphs, following the writer’s thoughts to note down the outlines.

1. The process of completing a DNA test is not very complex. First of all, human cells must be
collected. The cells can be collected from a person’s cheek using a swab. The next step is to send
this cell sample to a laboratory, where scientists extract the DNA from the swab and create many
samples from it. Then the samples are put into a gel mixture, and are subjected to an electric
current. A DNA probe can then be used, which attaches itself to the sample. Each person produces
a unique location of DNA attachment, and this is how the identification works. Ultimately, scientists
develop the film of this unique DNA strand.

2. Opponents of single-sex education offer several reasons against the separation of the sexes in
an educational setting. Firstly, they assert that research about improvements in test scores is
inconclusive, because there are studies that show exactly the opposite results, and that test scores
are neither the only nor the most important measure of student success. Secondly, and more
importantly, these critics maintain that separate classes or schools are world-denying, which
means they deny students the opportunity to interact with the opposite sex, and send the message
that males and females cannot work together. The final, and probably the most important argument
against same-sex education is that it is discriminatory and, therefore, illegal. Stated differently, it
is unlawful to reject a student’s application for a position in an educational institution on grounds
of his/her biological sex. By means of conclusion, it should be evident, argue these opponents, that
single-sex education disadvantages students rather than benefit them.

4
Focus

- Both paragraphs are said to be coherent. So what does paragraph coherence mean?

- The orders in which details in two paragraphs are organized are two primary ones in academic
writings. Can you describe them?

Practice 2
Read each of the following topic sentences carefully. If you were writing a paragraph introduced by
the sentence, how would you arrange the supporting details – in time order, or sequential order? Write
your answer in the blank following the topic sentence.

Example: It is important to keep several factors in mind when choosing a professional path.
Sequential order

1. People would establish relationships more easily if everyone practiced a few important rules
of common courtesy. ___________
2. Babies develop in amazing ways during the first three months of life. _________
3. When you interview for a job, keep in mind that most employers look for the same qualities in
a prospective employee. __________
4. To protect yourself on campus after dark, you should always take the following precautions.
__________
5. The process of machine translation of languages is complex. _________

Means of coherence
Task 5
Read these two paragraphs and note their differences.

A. During his lifetime, Jim Thorpe faced many obstacles. Thorpe was born in 1888 in Indian
territory, the son of an Irish father and a Native American mother. He was sent to the Carlisle Indian
School in Pennsylvania. “Pop” Warner, the legendary coach at Carlisle, discovered Thorpe when he
saw him jump more than six feet while he was wearing street clothes. Thorpe became a star on the
Carlisle track team and a substitute on the football team. Thorpe left Carlisle to play baseball for
two seasons in the newly formed East California minor league. Thorpe returned to Carlisle, played
football, and was named to the All-American team. Thorpe went to the 1912 Olympic games in
Stockholm, where he won two gold medals. King Gustav V of Sweden said to him, “Sir, you are the
greatest athlete in the world.” Thorpe’s career took a dramatic turn for the worse when a sports
writer who had seen him play baseball in North Carolina exposed him as a professional. The

5
 Amateur Athletic Union stripped him of his records and medals. The International Olympic
Committee returned Thorpe’s Olympic medals to his family.

B. During his lifetime, Jim Thorpe faced many obstacles. Thorpe was born in 1888 in Indian territory,
the son of an Irish father and a Native American mother. In 1904, he was sent to the Carlisle Indian
School in Pennsylvania. In the next year, “Pop” Warner, the legendary coach at Carlisle, discovered
Thorpe when he saw him jump more than six feet, while he was wearing street clothes. Almost
immediately, Thorpe became a star on the Carlisle track team and a substitute on the football team.
Thorpe left Carlisle in 1909 to play baseball for two seasons in the newly formed East California
minor league. In 1911, Thorpe returned to Carlisle, played football, and was named to the All-
American team. Thorpe went to the 1912 Olympic Games in Stockholm, where he won two gold
medals. At the games, King Gustav V of Sweden said to him, “Sir, you are the greatest athlete in the
world.” In the next year, however, Thorpe’s career took a dramatic turn for the worse when a sports
writer who had seen him play baseball in North Carolina exposed him as a professional. As a result,
the Amateur Athletic Union stripped him of his records and medals. After years of appeals, the
International Olympic Committee returned Thorpe’s Olympic medals to his family in 1982, more
than 30 years after his death.

Focus
Which paragraph coherence is more recognizable? What factor makes the connection between ideas
clearer?

Task 6
How are these sentences related to each other?
(1) There are many advantages of working in groups. One benefit is that the group members can
learn from each other.
(2) A group can finish work faster and more efficiently. The reason for this is that each member
knows about different things and each has to do only one part of the work.
(3) You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you
cannot fool all of the people all of the time. (Abraham Lincoln)
Focus
Can you identify the means to help show the logical flow of ideas, or coherence, in the sentences
above?

6
Task 7
Read the following sample paragraph. What might be the problem with the use of transitional signals?
What techniques can we use to improve the paragraph?

Writing a paragraph can be challenging. However, there are techniques that can make the process
a little easier. For example, taking plenty of notes on the subject can help the writer generate
ideas. Therefore, note-taking is an important "pre-writing" strategy. In addition, some people "free-
write," writing quickly for ten or twenty minutes to see what ideas arise. However, taking notes and
free-writing are only the beginning. Ideas must eventually be organized in a logical
way. Consequently, an outline can help the writer make sense of the rough material generated
through the note-taking and free-writing process. Therefore, writing an outline is another important
step in the writing process. However, some writers are able to conceptualize a sense of logical
order for their ideas without actually writing an outline. Nevertheless, these writers seem to have
some kind of outline in their minds.

Practice 3
Use the following words and phrases; fill in the ten blanks below to increase the coherence of the
paragraph.
Finally As another example In addition
Other goals included This thinking One way of doing this
For example (2) Also That is
Each of the U.S. manned space exploration projects had specific major goals. (1)___________, the
Mercury project was designed to test whether or not human beings could survive and function in outer
space. (2)_____________, the Mercury project tested rockets with the new Mercury space capsule,
which could hold one person. (3)_______________, the Gemini project was intended to find out whether
two people could work in the weightless environment of space. (4) __________________was by having
Gemini astronauts take "spacewalks." (5)____________, they floated outside their spacecraft in a
spacesuit, connected to it by a tether. Gemini astronauts (6) ________tried out new flying skills. (7)
__________, some astronauts flew two spacecraft extremely close together; this procedure was called
"rendezvous." On some Gemini flights, astronauts physically linked two spacecraft
together.(8)_____________, or "space docking," was a major goal of the Gemini program.
(9)___________, the Apollo project, with three astronauts, had the goal of testing spacecraft and skills
so that people could actually fly to the Moon and land on it. (10)________________ performing scientific
experiments on the lunar surface and collecting rocks for study on Earth.

Practice 4
The following topic sentence is followed by a series of supporting sentences. Arrange the supporting
sentences according to the time sequence in which they are likely to occur.
Topic sentence:
The famous Leaning Tower of Pisa has been tilting for over 800 years, and recent improvements
7
 should allow it to continue tilting for another 300 more.
1. Almost immediately, it began leaning because it was being erected on the soft silt of a buried
riverbed.
2. Over the next six centuries, the tower’s lean continued to increase, although tourists were still
allowed to visit.
3. Between 1178 and 1360, work stopped and started two more times as workers tried to continue the
project and figure out how to compensate for the tilt.
4. Then, in 1990, Italy’s prime minister feared the tower would collapse and closed it to the public.
5. On August 9, 1173, construction began on this well-known Italian bell tower.
6. Now, the tower still leans out about 15 feet beyond its base, but it should remain stable for several
more centuries.
7. From 1999 to 2001, engineers excavated soil from beneath the tower.
Can you explain what helps you decide the order of the supporting sentences?

Production
Choose one of the topics below for your writing:
1. Choose one DYI skill you have learnt or would like to learn in the future. What are the benefits of
learning this skill?
2. Would you prefer to receive assistance from a self-service machine or a real person? Explain your
choice.
3. Would you prefer to buy new things or repair old things?
4. What might be some useful ways to encourage people to recycle more?
Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Peer Feedback: Exchange your revised draft with a classmate. Help your classmate by offering
suggestions for the narrowed topic, the phrases to express the controlling idea, the transitions to
signal the conclusion and the way your friend writes the concluding sentence. Also, underline any
grammar problem you find: subject-verb agreement, word order, sentence structure, spelling,
punctuation, capitalization, and word use.
Revision: Using the help from your partner, make changes in your draft. Then write the final draft
of your outline with the revised topic and concluding sentences.

Transitional Signals for Paragraph Unity and Coherence

Words and phrases that signal time order

afterward next at first now presently

before soon earlier then shortly
finally after later after a while, until
afterward again simultaneously also as long as 8
thereafter at length at that time when eventually
formerly in the past lately meanwhile until
Words and phrases that signal sequential order
Although Not only…. but also Consequently
One … another Equally important In addition
On the one hand…. On the other hand
Furthermore The least important The most important

Other transitions words for sequential order

Addition again, also, and, and then, besides, equally important, finally, first, further,
furthermore, in addition, in the first place, last, moreover, next, second, still,
too

Comparison also, in the same way, likewise, similarly, unlike, like,

Concession granted, naturally, of course, certainly, admittedly

Contrast although, and yet, despite that, even so, even though, for all that, however, in
contrast, in spite of, instead, nevertheless, notwithstanding, on the contrary,
on the other hand, otherwise, regardless, still, though, yet

Emphasis certainly, indeed, in fact, of course

Example Or after all, as an illustration, even, for example, for instance, in conclusion,
Illustration indeed, in fact, in other words, in short, it is true, of course, namely,
specifically, that is, to illustrate, thus, truly

Summary all in all, altogether, as has been said, finally, in brief, in conclusion, in other
words, in particular, in short, in simpler terms, in summary, on the whole, that
is, therefore, to put it differently, to summarize

Further Practice for Paragraph Unity and Coherence

Practice 1
Indicate each sentence which might serve as a primary support for the given topic sentence.
Remember that primary supports must relate directly to the controlling idea and offer convincing
evidence that the controlling idea is valid.
Topic sentence:
Women who drink alcohol during pregnancy risk harming their unborn children.

9
1. Babies born of alcoholic mothers are frequently retarded.
2. Pregnant women who drink often don’t exercise as much as they should.
3. Doctors have complied detailed studies on pregnant women who are heavy drinkers.
4. Studies have indicated that if a pregnant woman consumes an average of one or two ounces
of alcohol per day, there is one chance in five that her baby will develop a serious disease called fetal
alcohol syndrome.
5. Alcohol makes pregnant women feel sluggish.
6. Pregnancy often involves some degree of risk.
7. Pregnant women who are alcoholic frequently neglect their health and rarely maintain a proper
diet.
8. Alcoholic women who are expecting a baby can easily forget important appointments with
their physicians.

Practice 2

The following paragraphs are not unified because not every sentence clearly relates to or supports
the topic sentence. Cross out the sentence or sentences in each paragraph that do not belong.

1. The general population often resists innovations, whether practical or aesthetic. When the early
experimenters in the field of aviation began their work, there were many who said, “If God had wanted
man to fly, He would have given him wings.” The Wright brothers made the first powered flights in a
heavier-than-air craft in 1903 at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina. Even today there are many who strongly
object to modern art and music as being nothing more than “splashes of paint and honking horns.”
The painter Picasso’s well known masterpiece “The Three Musicians” is done primarily in blues and
browns.

2. It seems impossible for television programs to give anything but a falsely romantic account of
doctors’ lives. Currently there are four medical dramas on prime-time TV. These programs are
immensely popular, but only a fool would mistake their heroes for the typical real-life physicians. It
serves no purpose—except for possibly the purposes of greedy sponsors—to indulge in this distortion.
A doctor on the screen is always well-meaning, handsome and self-sacrificing. He (rarely she) also
has plenty of free time to solve other people’s intimate, non medical problems. Real doctors must
wince with envy—that is, if they are not too exhausted to watch the program at all. Perhaps, the most
unrealistic point is that the television doctor always happens to have only one patient to care for
during each episode of the show.

Practice 3
The first sentence in each group below is a topic sentence. The rest of the sentences in groups are
the primary supports for a paragraph that develop the topic sentence. Rearrange the supports

10
according to what you believe to be their order of importance.

A. Topic sentence: Instituting a semester break at our college would result in many advantages for
the students.
1. Students would have the opportunity to take a break from the constant pressure of classes
and exams.
2. Students could catch up on work for classes that they are behind in.
3. Students would have the opportunity to spend a few days at home visiting their families and
friends.

B. Topic sentence: A music-performance major might find it more advantageous to drop out of college
than to remain.
1. College can’t provide the experience a musician needs to be able to play with a professional
orchestra or band.
2. A musician has more difficulty developing important contacts in the insular setting of the
college campus.
3. Not all musicians are judged by what or how many schools they have attended.
Practice 4
Underline the transitional words and phrases in each of the following paragraphs. Then decide what
order – time order, or sequential order – the writer has chosen for arranging details in each paragraph.
Write your answer in the blanks provided.

1. Alarmed that teenage girls today get only half as much exercise as boys, researchers are trying to
find out why. One reason, they say, is the amount of television girls watch. But this is not an adequate
explanation because boys generally watch as much television as girls do. A more important reason
is that many girls do not have available to them the sorts of organized athletic programs that are
available to boys. Furthermore, because both parents often work now, girls are more likely to have
responsibilities at home that leave them less free time than boys have to pursue physical activity.
Most important, though, may be the lingering attitude that boys aren’t attracted to girls who are
athletic. Being “feminine”, for many girls, means avoiding anything that might mess up their hair or
make them sweat. Unless these habits and attitudes change, the current generation of teenage girls
may grow into a generation of women plagued by serious health problems.

Order: _____________________________________________________

2. The Caribbean island of Puerto Rico has a complex history. Before the 1400s, the island’s
inhabitants for centuries were the native Arawak Indians. In 1493, Christopher Columbus and his crew
were the earliest Europeans to reach the island. Fifteen years later, Ponce de Leon conquered the
island for Spain, and the Spanish subjected the Arawaks to virtual slavery to develop a sugar industry.

11
Finally, these native people were annihilated completely, slaughtered by the sword and by European
diseases to which they had no immunity. The Arawaks were soon replaced by African slaves as a
European plantation culture flourished. In 1808, after the Spanish-American War, the island was ceded
to the United States. The next year, the United States designated Puerto Rico a colonel under an
American governor. Later, in 1917, Puerto Ricans were granted US citizenship, and the country
became a US Commonwealth in 1952. Since then Puerto Ricans have debated this status, with some
arguing for statehood and others for independence. For now, the island remains a commonwealth,
and its citizens share most of the rights and obligations for US citizenship.

Order: _____________________________________________________

Practice 5
Study the following paragraphs and evaluate each in terms of its unity and coherence. First, underline
each topic sentence. Then, cross out any sentences that do not directly relate to the topic sentence.
Add transitional words and phrases where needed. Finally, decide whether additional details and
examples could be added to each paragraph.

1. A survey of cigarette commercials shows how tobacco companies have consistently encouraged
people to continue smoking. One of the earliest television ads showed two boxes of cigarettes
dancing to an advertising jingle. The approach in this ad was simple: create an entertaining
commercial, and people will buy your product. Many people like these ads. Other commercials were
more subtle. Some were aimed at specific audiences. Marlboro commercials, with the rugged
Marlboro man, targeted men. Virginia Slims made an overt pitch to women by saying, “You’ve come
a long way, baby!” Salem, a mentholated cigarette, showed rural scenes and targeted people who
liked the freshness of the outdoors. Kent, with its “micronite filter,” appealed to those who were
health conscious by claiming that Kent contained less tar and nicotine than any other brand. This
claim was not entirely true. Other brands had less tar and nicotine. Cigarette companies responded
to the national decline in smoking by directing advertising at the less well educated. Camel
introduced the cartoon character Joe Camel which was aimed at teenagers and young adults. Merit
and other high-tar and high-nicotine cigarettes used commercials that were specifically directed at
minorities.

2. Cities created police forces for a number of reasons. The first reason was status: after the Civil
War, it became a status symbol for cities to have a uniformed police force. A police force provided
a large number of political jobs. Politicians were able to promise jobs to people who would work
to support them. Police forces made people feel safe. Police officers helped visitors find their way.
They took in lost children and sometimes fed the homeless. They directed the traffic, enforced
health ordinances, and provided a series of other services. Police officers kept order. Without a
visible, uniformed police force, criminals would have made life in nineteenth-century cities
unbearable.

12