Thou shall convey your identity

For those who are ambitious, be unconcerned with both the compliments or insults from the
common man, their opinions have little value.

When you have commandment 1 and 2, it applies social pressure onto others to conform to you, or
reject you and move on.

Not everyone is going to like you- screening gets rid of those people fast.

Good screening gets people to love you or tell you to fuck off. Either way you win!

Application: stop wasting time trying to persuade or convince people to like you. Do spend your
time conveying who you are

Tell her what you are doing in your life, the goals you have, family goals, hobbies, career goals.
Educate her on why you are a better decision.

Tell her who you are, where you’ve been, what you’re about, what you’re doing now, and where
you’re going.

Trying to become perfectly attractive to every woman is unattractive- it is needy and incongruent.

Focus on being you and finding your target market- who you’re a legit good fit for, this could be 1 in
20 girls.

You don’t want everyone to like you

It is not ‘rejection’. It is normal human communication. Your not going to build deep bonds with
most people you meet.

When you walk up, you want to convey your real personality, your real sense of humor, your
values, your goals, your hopes dreams and ambitions. Also say how these things make you feel. Tell
her about your life, overshare a bit.

Don’t ask too many dam questions. Conversations go better if you take responsibility for doing 60-
90% of the conversation.

Exercises: stop pinging of the girl and trying to see what she thinks, stop waiting for her feedback
before you say more, just be who you are, use your social intelligence to filter out superficial
information. Be uncompromising about your core values and identity. The less time you spend with
the 19/20, the faster you will find the 1/20 perfect fit.

Books: Radical honesty by brad Blanton, 3d negotiation by david lax

Sean’s notes

Compelling authenticity

Thinking that a girl is perfect, that she will solve all of your problems is an illusion. Many of these
girls don’t have much going on in their lives and cannot offer you much. They have had no pressure
to develop themselves.
Honesty- you have a variety of thoughts going on at anytime, you express your most relevant,
essential and prominent thoughts. Thoughts lead you to other thoughts. This is the stream of
consciousness. When you’re honest your sub communications naturally fall into line.

Exercise, for 10 minutes.

1. Stare at a wall
2. Wait for a range of thoughts or feelings to pop up
3. Verbalise the most prominent one
4. See what other range of thoughts come up, and verbalise them

Relaxing into a range of behaviours- being stifled limits your range of behaviours, being relaxed
opens up your range of behaviours. Girls are very attracted to this. It naturally happens when you
are just relaxed.

You get this long term from exercise, eating green leafy vegetables, meditation, having your life
handled, learning to have fun.

Short term you get this by being non-resistant to thoughts and emotions,

Exercise

1. Sit or stand. Unlock all your joints, relax them.

2. Concentrate on your feet, untense the muscles, take a deep breath and focus on the
sensations of your feet without resistance. Next concentrate on your ankles and take a deep
breath, then calf muscle,

frame control- One person always has a stronger frame than the other, the person with the weaker
frame will start thinking the same as the other. You need a strong frame because the girls frame is
that she is the prize and the guy has to prove himself. Strong frame indicates resourcefulness and
leadership. If she buys into your frame, she will look to you for leadership and will want to be lead by
you. You lose frame control by changing your thoughts or emotions to conform to other people’s
beliefs or reality. You get thrown of your current path. This can give you a quick emotional spike that
makes you change how you think. For example: If someone insults you, don’t buy into their frame
that you should feel bad. If someone doesn’t like something you like, don’t change your thoughts.

How to combat this:

1. Recognize when it happens

2. When this happens, instead of reacting, pause. Communicate your original thought or feel
your original emotion, depending if the spike changed your thoughts or emotions. Eventually
you won’t have to pause.

Another way is to take a wide view and remember who you are and what you value.

Exerting your frame- Just a steady stream of who you are, including your thoughts and emotions. Its
just a process of continuing what you were already doing. A continuation of being your default self.
, potency- not positivity, just lots of energy and mmph. You are excited by what you say. You are
passionate about what you are saying. You can be tired or grumpy, but you are engaged in what you
are doing. It shows that you are joyed by your own life and actions and therefore that you have an
interesting life. Be excited about your own little niche world. Potent congruence- being able to show
that potency from whatever state you’re in. Outer technique- M$M, speak about something as if it
were the most exciting thing in the world. Like Shakespeare- vary volume, pitch, tone, speed, and
frequency.

How to create this

1. Speak congruently from whatever state you’re in. Accept your emotions and thoughts.
2. Engage fully in whatever you’re doing

riding the wave of validation- Anything that lets the girl know that she doesn’t have our full
validation yet. Shows to the girl that you have standards. People chase things that are hard to catch.
People chase validation. Use takeaways- 3 ways: active takeaways, reaction takeaways,
disagreement takeaways. Real takeaways work best- you are just being honest about something
about them you don’t like, actually enforcing our boundaries. Access the natural part of yourself that
has boundaries and has the takeaway effect. Find out what you like and dislike about people. This is
much more effective.

Connection

You should connect with people through fun. There are other ways to connect, but this is the best.

To go home with the girl, she wants to be feeling fun and energy.

Fun connects you to others through shared positive emotion.

A connection has these:

1. Trust
2. Rapport (ability to talk with them about a variety of topics)
3. Shared values
4. Shared experiences
5. A two way street of positive emotions
6. The ability to confide in someone
7. Rarity

Before a romantic connection with a woman, you need: value. You also NEED to qualify her, so the
connection is sincere, non-needy, and it shows you have standards. Only connect with those you
actually like and who share your values and meet your standards. See if the person really shares your
values before you connect. These are honest signals and not tactics, you only want to connect with
those you like

Connections are built by

 1. Eye contact- more important than anything you say. Steady and relaxed eye contact, as if
you were just staring at a wall.
2. Oversharing- talking about different areas of your life so much that it creates a picture of
who you are (opinions, values, tastes, experiences, activities etc.) There is no other reason to
say this other than you just felt like saying it. Don’t do it for an ulterior motive (to impress)
Talk about random things from your life for the sake of pure expression. Gives her the
feeling she can tell you anything.
3. Commonalities- only works when she knows you are not trying to make everything she says
into a commonality. Don’t force commonalities, just let them come up
4. Speak articulately on the commonality
5. Provide insight into their life. Tell them something they do or don’t know about themselves.
Something positive though. Do an honest cold read, what type of person is this?
6. Listen and empathising with someone.- how to do this: actually listen to someone, actually
put yourself in their shoes. Listen in pockets, express your personality still. It shows you
actually have an interest in getting to know her
7. Meta statements- comment on what is happening in your interaction, what you or her is
thinking or feeling.
8. Talking in emotional content- talking about emotions, the feelings of different things, going
through emotions together.
9. Emotional spikes- nonpc,
10. Us reality rather than you and me reality. You guys are a team.
11. Future adventure projections
12. Logically telling the girl why she is special, how she lives up to your standards. Appreciate
her!
13. Narrative timelines- talking about your different experiences with the girl. Say what did
happen, what is happening and whats going to happen.
14. Being comfortable with silence, where you both look into each others eyes
15. Communicate what kind of relationship you guys would have. Do this as a joke or fr.

These things will take practice and emotional and social intelligence. Also be aware of context and
adjust how much you use accordingly. Be honest with the girls about your intentions

Exercise: practise one of these principles in day to day conversations.

Books: I hope they serve beer in hell by tucker max. Shows potency.

Travis

First, just go outside. Then, go to the night club. Then go approach at the nightclub.

Get into the habit of walking up and talking to women. Baby step yourself to doing proper
approaches.

When you relax, you can do what your body knows how to do( talk to a girl)
Once you have approached, give yourself permission to relax completely. This will take practise. Be
ok with your emotions but have the general intention to relax. Meditating and exercise helps to
relax. Keep your body relaxed.

Build the self trust muscle- you do this by practising commandment 1 and accepting yourself for your
strengths and flaws. Whatever you do from now, that’s ok. Embrace the current version of yourself
but go take action.

Being relaxed gets the girls very attracted, and also helps you to talk and talk.

Work on the muscle of self-enthusiasm; that you are excited about who you are and the life that you
are living. Live your ideal life.

Embody the life of your 3 q’s.

Just talk about the first things that come to your head.

Trust yourself and say whatever you feel and whatever feels interesting.

Eye contact is very important. Keep relaxed eye contact.

Downward tonality + speak loud, 10% above the volume of the environment.

Free flowing communication: Don’t come up with the words, just let them come out of your mouth.
Do the free flow exercise for 10 mins- this just proves to your brain that you can hold a conversation.
Don’t do the exercise in front of the girl.

Speaking honestly is just having no filters.

The need to speak honestly must be greater than the need to make it work.

If you are getting tongue tied, you are not just letting the current of authenticity come out. Convey
YOUR identity.

Stay the same across social situations. Don’t let your character traits waver depending on the
environment and emotions you feel.

Frames: We are on the same team

We’re both in it to win it

You’re a cool guy offering value

Nothing to gain, nothing to lose

Speak loudly, clearly, and with relaxed eye contact.

Start developing opinions and reasons for why you like/dislike things.

Sincere fun- 3 faituges.

My notes

Your personality comes out best if you get out of your own way! So get out of your own way! Let go
of trying to be perfect, of validation, of self-image, of self-judgement, and anything else that would
get in your way. Whatever happens is ok.