Commandment 3- Thou shall open like you mean it

Otherwise, women and men will treat you like a jellyfish and you will disappoint yourself and
countless women who would’ve been excited to have sex with you.

Open directly, with certainty and with enthusiasm. You have to be interested to meet her and see if
she is cool.

Women don’t spend hours planning and doing their makeup because they’d hate to meet an
awesome man.

She wants to meet you because you are firm in your own identity, have cool friends- dudes with
good shit going on who don’t disrespect you by hitting on her. Because you have social skills and
resourcefulness to dominate her peer group in a respectful but exciting way. Someone who’s
captivating to chat with, is a leader, who she knows will lead her to better ways and brighter days

As long as you’re a champ who has physical, social, and intellectual compatibility, and overlap in
values and goals, she will follow you anywhere.

Dont open like something is wrong with you,

If you don’t think you deserve her, she has to agree

Shes in the club to have fun

Don’t act timid, unsure, insecure, shy, artificial, erratic, incongruent

When you approach with hesitation and just stare or lurk around on the periphery like a creep, she
wishes you didn’t exist. This is ‘hover choding’, and it makes you look like a sexual predator. This
behaviour is universally revolting to women.

Extinguish this disgusting behaviour

Pragmatic application: when you see a girl you’re excited about, take the most direct and quickest
path from where you are to where she is. Walk up to her with intent and purpose, move others
out of the way if you have to.

Open with enthusiasm, she wont be excited if you aren’t. This doesn’t mean you treat her like a
princess or put her on a pedestal, treat her like a human that you are sincerely curious and
interested about meeting.

Its ok to interrupt their conversation because you are interrupting her life for the better. It is a
pleasant surprise. If someone interrupted your conversation to give you free money, you would be
happy.

Initiate appropriate physicality early in the interaction. Soon after the open or even on the open. If
she isn’t open to you touching her shoulder, she probably wont have sex with you tonight. Gather
this information in the 1st couple minutes, not half an hour later.

Speak at a volume level that demands her attention. When you are too quiet or soft, she will ignore
you and keep doing what she was doing. Doesn’t have to be crazy loud, just 10-20% above the
energy or intensity of the environment. Also don’t be too loud, its uncalibrated and scary.

Open her directly- let her know immediately you find her attractive and are intimately interested in
her. You don’t have to say this, it can be conveyed through body language (standing close and front
on to her) Stand with your shoulders roughly parallel with hers and a forearms length away from
her. If you’re smaller- stand closer. If your bigger- stand further away.

The words you say do not matter. They are a vehicle for you to show relaxed, intimate body
language, stable and non anxious vocal tonality, and your identity and personality. 90% of
communication is non verbal.

Focus on your target girl and open her first, address friends after.

Open mixed sets- this is passive attraction

Not every girl is going to like you and that’s fine- just open and screen more girls.

Find those girls who recognize you’re in the top 5% of men they prefer, and screen them on
personality, compatibility, physical looks,

Don’t expect every girl to like you, however, open her like youre the top 2% guy for her. Open her
from the frame that you are a sex worthy man and you and her may or may not be compatible.

Be willing to tolerate social pressure.

Books: influence by Robert cialdini, Hannibal and me by andreas kluth

Exercises: When you feel anxious or stuck in your head, walk up the girl and tell her that. Get to a
place of sincerity and authenticity in your communication. If I don’t have something better to say I
simply tell the girl how I am feeling at that moment. (omg I watched the best documentary this
afternoon and im stuck in my head. You’re a really pretty girl so I had to come meet you. Im
brandon, whats your name)

Just express what you’re feeling and get to a place of sincerity and authenticity in your
communication. A woman values someone who is real and who isn’t bullshitting them.

Sean’s notes

The opener is only 2% of the interaction

Don’t predict your opener, let it be organic

Structure of an interaction:

1. You vs me- showing who you are, talking a lot, exerting your frame. A sample of who you
are. 2-15 minutes
2. You and me?- Discovering if she is the right girl for you. Asking questions about her. She is
compelled by you and trying to sell herself.
3. You and I together- You and her are both attracted to each other and you are focussed on
having fun together and building a connection.

Always approach

Challenge: you and a wingman sees who can approach first

Approach anxiety has two parts:

Get your brain into discovery mode rather than defensive mode. Start approaching everything you
are attracted to as soon as you enter the club, or start having fun with your friends as soon as you
enter. Tells your brain that its ok to be social, have fun and get into the discovery mode.

Also, stop assuming things eg :that’s her boyfriend, shes busy

Video game model: being out is like being in a video game. Nothing that happens in here is really
gonna affect their life or my life.

The way to change emotion is through action

For 2-4 minutes after an event happens, your brain is trying to figure out how that memory will be
saved and remembered. Consciously take charge of the memory encoding process- massive rewards
to yourself whenever you take right action. Tell yourself I approached, im being a boss, im taking the
right action, FUCK YEAH. This creates a positive anchor for taking the right action, and will long term
make approaching easier, and in the short term will get you into approach mode. This is an upward
spiral. This is a technique specific to approaching and the club, don’t use it in other areas.

Think about strategy AFTER the club and consider long term feedback.

Frames for open

1. Honesty- you want people to know exactly who you are within 5 minutes of meeting you.
People will choose to stay and love you or to fuck off. Going up and saying the first thing on
your mind. Exercise: walk up and say 3 honest, unpc opinions. This will have you find out if
you are compatible with the person within the first 2 minutes.
2. Entitlement- a lack of feeling and thought about the interaction. Allow yourself to realise
that this is a situation that is not going to affect your life, you are just walking up to someone
that is your equal. (OV)
3. Frame- you are just there to see how much fun you can have, to fuck around, to socialize, to
self-amuse and tell jokes. Still take action and approach the girl though. This isn’t too serious
of a task
4. First 5 minutes is about expressing value- you do 90% of the talking in the first 5 minutes,
and you are not expecting too much initial investment form her
5. Cut out unnecessary logic- nothing you logically say will attract the girl. Focus on their
emotions.
6. Get into this habit of when you think something, you say it. This is a skill you work on
overtime- eliminating filters. To remove filter, use presence and become present to what
you are doing and saying. Write down things you find hilarious. Also, sharp ends forward:
express the most extreme, potent parts of his personality so that she has to select in or
select out. The darkest jokes. The most non-pc opinions. Say your favourite jokes, what you
find amusing, what your rea l opinions about the world are.

Walk up to the group like a guy walks up to his friends: direct.

1. Voice- a. a breaking rapport tonality b. use the lower half of your natural voice c. project
your voice. Breathe out as you are talking and breathe in through your stomach
2. Eye contact- relaxed and steady, as if you were staring at a wall
3. Congruence- Speaking from the emotional state you are in. If you are in a bad mood, speak
from a bad mood place.

Don’t stay on the same topic or thread

After you say something, an opening, a joke or whatever, don’t wait for them to approve. Just keep
talking. Keep the flow of your stream of thoughts coming.

Direct line to the girl, square up, don’t wait for her to say things. Keep that steady stream of your
opinions coming out and eventually she’ll start adding in her own stuff. Don’t polarize just for the
sake of polarizing, just say your true opinions when you want.

Books: wherever you go, there you are john cavidson

Exercise: write down 10 of your honest opinions that you would not usually tell people. Go and open
with these 10 things.

Travis

See girl- approach girl. Keep this simple.

Taking action> Overthinking

‘The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.’ ‘You will not think your way to success.’

If you are not willing to be a fool and make mistakes then you will not improve

Give yourself permission to fail and make as many mistakes as you need to make

Mistakes will happen. You will be rejected, embarrassed, shamed, social pressured, kicked out, made
fun of. Don’t worry so much about the feedback, most of it is out of your control. You will be ok.

You need to get your first 4000 approaches to become very good at this. This is easy, it is just 20
women per night 3 nights per week, and 5 women per day on the other 4 days per week, for 1 year.
For these first 4000, don’t think too much about it, just do the work and do the approaches.

Bare minimum for taking action: say hey hows it going to the girl, and wish her well.

It might feel stupid, but you do it anyway.

Some girls will be open minded to you and some girls wont.

Learning doesn’t mean shit. Action is everything in learning game.

You don’t need an excuse to talk to someone. You can just go up and start talking.

Say what you want to say. Don’t filter. You don’t need to impress her.

Approach anxiety is normal. Accept it and do the action.

Guide to approach anxiety

If the girl you’re about to talk to is your biggest problem, then you need bigger goals.

Don’t sneak into a group, you want to go in there and project your voice and let it be known that you
are there. 10% above the sound of the group.

Approaching sneakily, softly, from behind is a beta male strategy. A woman is disgusted by this.

Remember mirror neurons. Don’t be negative.

When you walk up, it is easy to bring a good vibe if you just talk about shit you’re interested in and
excited about.

Get rid of outcome dependence. You don’t need it to work, but do this to give you the most high
chances of it working.

Let go of validation seeking from girls, be relaxed and easy-going.

Opening like you mean it just means that you 100% commit to the interaction.

Trust your brain to feed you words as you approach. Stay present.

Have a default reaction to getting rejection or blown off. Mine: fuck yeah, I approached, I’m being a
boss. Approach another group. Visualise these.

Opening like you mean it means declaring your intentions from the beginning.

Default opener for beginning: Hey, you’re a pretty girl, I wanted to come say Hi. I’m Brandon, what’s
your name.

Have default responses for this.

Use a positive-dominant tone. Be excited about the interaction and curious and interested to meet
her and see if you are compatible.

Exercise: for 10 minutes, speak without stopping.

Note: don’t do this exercise in front of the girl.

Set goals for yourself that you know you can achieve. And always update this by 1%

Have fun doing all this.

Trust yourself and opening like you mean it. Believe you are the shit and go open.

Step 1. Resolve that you are going to talk to her no matter what

Step 2. Don’t give a fuck about your feelings, and since im going to do it anyway, may as well be in
the best mood possible.

Step 3 im the shit, im a young boss

Step 4 Give yourself permission to fail, no pressure

When you arrive at the open, let yourself relax completely.

After your opener, relax yourself and allow your mouth to move and form words. Turn your filters
off. Say whatever you feel like saying.

Make statements, observations, beliefs, what you’re feeling. Don’t ask too many questions to start.

Talk to girls RIGHT away in the club. Do it and do it like you mean it.

If you can’t think of what to say, just say that.

Trust your words and your instincts.

After your first set, immediately jump into the next set. Give yourself positive affirmations
throughout the night. This positive self talk will take practise.

Get your first 4,000 data points within a year.

Don’t worry about the results too much.