Family Law and Policy Speech

Family Law and Policy Speech
Picture the child who whines until they get what they want and the parent who has given
up on maintaining limits. They are likely embarrassed and may even feel resentful towards their
child. Does this parent really understand what yields lasting positive behavior?
Rewards and punishments are ineffective in the long run. Alfie Kohn has said that
rewards are just as undesirable as punishments because they aim to control, not to teach (Brandt,
1995). Many parents connect “discipline” with punishment. When they feel overwhelmed, they
may resort to things like corporeal punishment, which often leads to abuse.
Idaho law mandates its citizens to report suspected abuse. “Any ... person having reason
to believe that a child under the age of eighteen years has been abused, abandoned or
neglected ... shall report or cause to be reported within twenty-four hours such conditions or
circumstances to the proper law enforcement agency or the department” (Child Protective Act,
2020, 16-1605).
This child-focused law only addresses symptoms of a problem. Many parents do not
know how to guide their children without using external reinforcement. The public needs greater
exposure to effective parenting practices. High school students should be required to take a
parenting class. Parents who were unable to take this class may receive similar instruction as
made available in the community. Many students have hauled around a bag of flour or an
automated baby for a day. Is this going to help them know how to calm their young child’s
endless tantrums? If high quality parenting programs were instituted in schools, young people
would be more prepared to face the challenges of childrearing. They will be more inclined to
teach in meaningful ways.

Diana Baumrind classified authoritative parents as high in acceptance, supervision, and
psychological autonomy granting (Steinberg et al., 1992). Parents can show their children that
they love them while having reasonable boundaries for acceptable behavior. I am learning how
to become an authoritative parent myself.
My one-year-old daughter Emma thrives in her newfound independence. Our first
outdoor walk was cold but refreshing. The pitter-patter of her new walking shoes resounded off
the sidewalk loud and clear. After a while outside, I deduced that she intended to stay outside for
the rest of the day, nap or not. When she misses a nap, she gets hysterical. I don’t mean in a
happy, funny way. I mean in an overtired, meltdown way.
I was impressed by this little adventurer’s stamina. When I picked her up, she began to
scream, so I reluctantly put her down. Repeat. Like many parents, I do not easily endure high-
pitched wails. I was giving in, letting her cries govern me. I finally decided to be firm and take
her home. Others might say, “Why don’t you let her have fun? A long walk isn’t hurting
anything.” I know that children need time outside; I also know the effects of an overtired Emma.
Tears were streaming down her tiny face as I carried her inside, but she began to rub her
eyes and even began to fall asleep on the changing table. I validated her feelings, saying things
like, “You’re very sad...”. She soon went down for a nice, refreshing nap and was all smiles
when she woke up an hour later. Whether you’re the parent of a one-year-old or a seventeen-
year-old, being firm and loving can make all the difference in a child’s life. Authoritative
parenting styles yield happy, capable, and successful children (Maccoby, 1992).
Do you need help in this area? Evaluate your general discipline tactics. Do you bribe your
children to comply with requests? Are you giving punishments that don’t align with your child’s
behavior? How much teaching is really going on? Reevaluate boundaries you have set. Stick
with logical consequences. Don’t protect your children from responsibility. Reassure them of
your love for them. Spend time with them. They will learn from you and love you for it.
References
Brandt, R. (1995, September). Punished by Rewards? A Conversation with Alfie Kohn.
Educational Leadership. https://www.alfiekohn.org/article/punished-rewards-article/
Child Protective Act, Title 16, Juvenile Proceedings, Chapter 16 (2020).
https://legislature.idaho.gov/statutesrules/idstat/title16/t16ch16/sect16-1605/
Maccoby, E. E. (1992). The role of parents in the socialization of children: An historical
overview. Developmental Psychology, 28(6), 1006–1017. https://doi.org/10.1037/0012-
1649.28.6.1006
Steinberg, L., Lamborn, S. D., Dornbusch, S. M., & Darling, N. (1992). impact of parenting
practices on adolescent achievement: Authoritative parenting, school involvement, and
encouragement to succeed. Child Development, 63(5), 1266-1281.
https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8624.1992.tb01694.x

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Family Law and Policy Speech

teach in meaningful ways.

to become an authoritative parent myself.

My one-year-old daughter Emma thrives in her newfound independence. Our first

happy, funny way. I mean in an overtired, meltdown way.

Brandt, R. (1995, September). Punished by Rewards? A Conversation with Alfie Kohn.

Educational Leadership. https://www.alfiekohn.org/article/punished-rewards-article/

Child Protective Act, Title 16, Juvenile Proceedings, Chapter 16 (2020).

Maccoby, E. E. (1992). The role of parents in the socialization of children: An historical

overview. Developmental Psychology, 28(6), 1006–1017. https://doi.org/10.1037/0012-

practices on adolescent achievement: Authoritative parenting, school involvement, and

encouragement to succeed. Child Development, 63(5), 1266-1281.

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