The Transition

The transition from high school to college marks an important milestone along the path from
adolescence to adulthood. It’s a big step for you and your family that’s both exciting and,
sometimes, stressful. You are exploring fuller independence and your relationships are changing,
too. You may be wondering: How much support do I need? What are common transition
challenges that I might face as a new college student? How will I communicate with my family
and friends? What do I do to ease the transition to college if I have a preexisting health or mental
health problem? These are important considerations for anyone transitioning from high school to
college. Our goal is to help you thrive while adjusting to college. Read on to learn more about
adjusting to college.

Changing Relationships
Starting college may be the first time you’re living away from home. This will impact
relationships with your friends and members of your family in different ways. Navigate the links
below to learn more about how you can stay connected to loved ones at home while embracing
the new faces you meet at school.

How to Adjust to College

If you’re planning to live at school (and even if you are not), a lot of basic things in your life will
change: lots of new people, more independence and freedom and new responsibilities. The
opportunities, freedom and challenges of college life can feel overwhelming, but they don’t have
to. Staying active, prioritizing sleep, and getting involved on campus are all steps you can take to
enhance and take control of your college experience. Navigate the links below to learn more
strategies for adjusting to college life.

Academic Performance and Pressure

You plan on going to college to get an education. College-level coursework can sometimes seem
more academically challenging than high school. But remember, you made it in. You are
prepared with the foundational skills you’ll need to succeed in college. College will allow you to
build upon these skills to benefit your future professional life. Below, we review what you should
know about the challenge of college academics. From dealing with competition, deciding what
courses to take to how to relate to your professors, these tips will help you navigate your
academic life.
1. The Importance of Sleep

It’s important to balance the effort to manage your academics and social life with the time
you spend taking care of yourself. One significant way you can take care of both your physical
and mental health (and improve your overall functioning) is by getting an adequate amount of
sleep.
Here are some ways that you can take care of yourself and your need for sleep:
 Avoid caffeine or other addictives late in the day.
 Develop a regular sleep schedule: going to bed and waking up at a similar time every day
including the weekends!
 Put away the TV, cell phone, computer, etc. before bed. Scientists say that exposure to
“blue light” makes it hard to get a good nights sleep because it negatively affects our
sleep-inducing hormone.
 Avoid all-nighters-while you feel the need to work very late to get assignments done or
prepare for exams, which actually leads you to be less effective in your work.

For more information about the importance of sleep and tips on how to sleep better check
out this New York Times article on sleep as “an underappreciated key to college success,” The
Huffington Post’s section on sleep and a discussion of the sleep challenges of college students.
Everyone has different sleep needs. While the average sleep need for adults is about 7 to 8
hours per day, younger people often need more sleep than this to function well. Lack of sleep also
plays a role in increased: moodiness, anger and feelings of depression. In the long term, sleep
deprivation increases our risk for serious illnesses. These undesirable effects cause you to
struggle some difficulties in social situations (i.e. make and keep friends) and in performing
yourself in college (i.e. learn and retain information).
Adjusting to life on a college campus is often associated with a lot of change for new
students. Participating in campus activities, navigating new friend groups/classmates/professors
and maybe being exposed to substance use are all big adjustments that students have to face when
they go to college. All of the changes and opportunities may make it easy to over-extend yourself
in the beginning, so that they might feel necessary to sacrifice some sleep to juggle it all.
Moveover, some students, now having more freedom because of living away from home, make
use of the time for sleep and resting for some entertainment, such as watching films, movies or
playing games over night. As a result, inadequate sleep is inevitable.
1. Healthy Eating
For many, college will be the first experience living away from home and as a result, the
first time you’ll be deciding yourself when and what you will eat. This may not sound like a big
deal but for many college students, eating nutritiously can be quite a challenge. First, you have to
make regular time to eat while balancing classes, studying, clubs, and/or club commitments.
Second, you have to make choices on your own that promote good nutrition and health. Third,
you have to consider and manage a budget for your meals.
Here are some suggestions for developing healthy eating habits while at college:
 If you are not living in the dormitory, you should try to work out a food budget that makes
sense for you. Shopping for and preparing your own food (if you have a kitchen) is usually
cheaper than eating out. It is also often healthier too – since you can have more control over
what you are eating when you shop and cook and many prepared or restaurant foods are high
in sugars, fats, and salt content. There are lots of foods that are easy and quick to prepare –
you can also find quick and simple recipes online.
 Try to keep some balance in your diet. While fast food may be ok some of the time when you
are in a rush, remember that for the most part, fast food is better at being fast than food.
Burgers and pizza are ok in moderation but don’t forget some other food groups like fruits,
vegetables, beans, and low fat proteins like fish and poultry.
 When we are tired, we tend to eat more. Try to get enough rest. Get some sleep when tired
instead of eating/snacking. This will help you avoid the common experience of gaining weight
in the first year of college.

Year of birth Number of students 

1997 3
1998 2
1999 2
2000 33
2001 2982
2002 6
Grand Total 3028

Year of birth Number of students

1997 3
1998 2
1999 2
2000 33
2001 2982
2001 6
Grand total 3028
1. Physical Safety on Campus

College campuses are like towns and have many of the same kinds of issues come up as
anywhere else including: accidents, fires, and even crimes. Colleges have security, police or
public safety offices whose job it is to keep students safe. If you attended your school’s
orientation, you probably heard from them about staying safe on campus.
Here are some tips to help you stay safe on campus:
 Familiarize yourself with the campus. There are likely more well-travelled and more
isolated spaces on campus. Talk to older students about places they avoid or times that
they avoid certain places. Areas that are very isolated might be less safe at night when the
campus is darker.
 Include the campus security/emergency number in your phone speed dial. This can be
handy in case of an accident, injury or crime.
 Many campuses will provide escort services for students returning to their residence halls
late at night. Find out whether your campus provides this service and how to use it.
 Fires are among the biggest risks on campuses – especially in residence halls where there
are lots of people living close together. Familiarize yourself with and follow fire safety
rules and make sure you know where fire exits are in your dorm or apartment building.
Fires often occur in the context of smoking, drinking or cooking and the danger is
increased when someone has disabled smoke detectors. FEMA has an excellent page with
information about dorm fire safety.
 Most accidents, fights, car accidents and assaults on campus (including sexual assaults)
occur in the context of drinking/partying. If you or your friends are drinking to the point
where you do not have a good grasp of what is happening around you, you are more at risk
of having accidents, being a victim of assault or starting fights/assaulting someone else. It
is safer not just to have a non-drinking designated driver but it is also a good idea to have a
friend who is not drinking to help keep others safe.
 Drinking also results in nearly 2000 deaths each year on college campuses from accidents
and alcohol poisoning. Moderation and safety is key. If you or a friend are in danger from
drinking, do not hesitate to reach out for emergency help! Read here for more information.
 Remember, your college is a community. If someone is in danger or has an accident, call
campus public safety or local police. Everyone can play a valuable role in keeping your
campus safe.
 Be smart to use social media to protect your reputation, protect you from dangers
and threats of the Internet.
 But, you should know that rates of most serious types of crimes are actually very
low on college campuses. You can find out more about that here.
2. Ways to Get and Stay Active on Campus

1. Introduction
Physical activity is essential for supporting a healthy mind and body. It might seem tough
to fit in regular exercise with a busy college schedule, but there are lots of simple things
you can do to get and stay active while you’re in school. Here are some ideas to get you
started!
2. Walk
Walking is an easy, low-impact way to incorporate exercise into your daily routine. It’s
also a perfect way to get started if you are new to exercising. You can walk around campus
in between classes or to take a break from studying. You can also opt for the stairs instead
of taking the elevator. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderately-paced walking per day to
get the most benefits (but it does not have to happen all at one time).
3. Sign up for fitness classes
Look into your school’s options for fitness classes like yoga, kickboxing, dance, or weight
training. Like the gym, these types of classes are often available to students at little to no
cost. Some schools even offer physical education classes you can take for credit. That way,
you can be sure to fit a workout into your schedule, and even earn credits at the same time!
4. Use the buddy system
Enlist a roommate, friend, or classmate as a workout buddy. You can jog, go on walks or
hikes, attend fitness classes together, and encourage each other to stay more active. This is
especially helpful if you have trouble motivating yourself to exercise, because you’ll be
less likely to skip a workout if you have someone else keeping you moving.
5. Join an intramural sports team or club
Many schools have a wide variety of intramural sports teams or clubs that you can join,
regardless of your experience or skill level and you are sure to find something on your
campus that you’ll enjoy. Check out your school’s options for intramurals, clubs, and
activities and try something that interests you.

Physical activity is essential for supporting a healthy mind and body. It might seem tough to fit in
regular exercise with a busy college schedule, but there are lots of simple things you can do to get
and stay active while you’re in school. Here are some ideas to get you started:
Walk: Walking is an easy, low-impact way to incorporate exercise into your daily routine and
also a perfect way to get started if you are new to exercising. You can also use for the stairs
instead of taking the elevator. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderately-paced walking per day to
get the most benefits.
Use the buddy system: Enlist a roommate, friend, or classmate as a workout buddy. You can jog,
go on walks or hikes, attend fitness classes together, and encourage each other to stay more
active. This is especially helpful if you have trouble motivating yourself to exercise because
you’ll be less likely to skip a workout if you have someone else keeping you moving.
Join a sports team or club: Many schools have a wide variety of sports teams or clubs that you
can join, regardless of your experience or skill level and you are sure to find something on your
campus that you’ll enjoy. Check out your school’s options for clubs, and activities and try
something that interests you.
 2. Finding Your Academic Path

Maybe you have ideas about what you want to study or major in when you get to college,
but most incoming college freshman don’t know where the academic journey is going to take
them.  You don’t have to have your path figured out in your first semester of college, or your first
year for that matter. However, at some point you’ll most likely need to declare a major or find
more of a focus. Here are some ways to explore academic interests while you are trying to figure
it out.
Talk to your friends about what they are interested in and what they plan to study or are
currently involved with. You might learn something new or discover a new path that suits you.
Talk to your academic advisor and faculty
In registering for your first term courses, most colleges will assign you an academic adviser.
These advisers have usually worked with lots of students and will very likely have lots of
experience about courses of study and how career opportunities might be related to different
majors or academic programs. Most liberal arts colleges have an array of required courses in the
first year which are directed toward different areas of study. Consider which parts of these
courses you enjoy or find interesting. Speak to these faculty during office hours. Many have tons
of experience guiding students through their academic experience. For the classes that interest
you, see whether you can do a research or internship project with any of them to explore the area
more fully.
Attend a career fair
Keep an eye out for a career fair on your campus or in your community. At these events,
employers set up rows of booths where recruiters hand out information and answer questions.
Even if you’re not actively seeking a job, the recruiters will be happy to talk to you all about what
you can expect in the Marine Corps, at a large software company or in the classroom. These
conversations may lead to new ideas for areas of study you never considered before. They also
may help you understand what kinds of courses of study might prepare you well for various
careers. It might turn out that advertising agencies really love hiring sociology majors!
Remember that ideally in your college experience you want to get both a well-rounded
education and also some level of specialization and focused knowledge in a particular area. Your
advisers and faculty are there to guide you along the way.
2. To manage a healthy professor-student relationship
1.Be respectful in class and in communications
 It is always good to be more formal when communicating with faculty and trying to
develop a strong professor-student relationship. Refer to them as “Professor Jones” or “Coach
Smith.” If you are sending a note or email don’t address it, “Hey Prof”; instead, write the note or
email as you would a more formal letter. This respect should carry over into classroom behavior
as well.
2. Speak up in class and use office hours
It is good practice to take advantage of your professor’s office hours.  This gives you the
opportunity to discuss issues like term paper topics, previous lectures that were confusing or
unclear, or research on topics that may interest you. Professors enjoy students who take an active
interest in their coursework, but try not to use up too much of their time. 
4. Be prepared 
If you are going to speak in class or visit the professor during office hours to discuss a class
topic, be prepared.  Try to have prepared questions in advance or have an idea of what you’d like
to discuss. It isn’t fair to ask the professor or TA to explain or discuss work if you haven’t made a
minimal effort to learn the material yourself.

2. Dealing With Competition

It’s easy to tell yourself not to worry about competing with your classmates in college, but
the fact is, sometimes your tests and papers are being evaluated in relation to others. In fact, some
competition is a normal part of college academics. Whether you’re naturally a competitive person
or someone who dislikes being compared to others, the way academic competition unfolds in
your college environment might cause you to feel stress. So how do you deal with it?
It helps to choose the right courses. It might take a semester or two to understand what
classes you enjoy, what classmates you enjoy working with and what level of difficulty makes
you feel challenged but not overwhelmed. Another strategy is to make friends with your
classmates by joining an informal study group or finding one study buddy for sharing resources
or concerns. It’s a good idea to get to know professors or teaching assistants during their office
hours. Don’t wait until you’re behind on an assignment and need to request an extension. When
you are focused on enjoyable and rewarding coursework, collaborative relationships with
classmates, and learning from TA’s and professors, you will be less focused on competing with
other students.
Time management is also critical for managing the stress of competition. The better handle
you get on all the different work you need to complete, the easier it is to live with the worry
related to competition. Ultimately, setting your own personal academic goals (without the
influence of your classmates) and trying to meet those goals is the best thing you can do.
Your competitive energy will be more focused on making yourself better and not on the people
around you. Still, you’ll likely have peers who won’t be able to tame the competitive energy and
unfortunately, you don’t have a lot of control over how others behave. Try to stick to your own
personal plan for managing course assignments, tests and papers – try your best to do what works
for you.
2. Balancing Academics, Social Life & Extracurricular Activities

In high school, you probably had a fairly strict schedule that was mapped out for you by
your teachers, parents and coaches. Wake up, school, practice, homework, chores, sleep. There
were allotted times for each activity, and not much room for you to make a lot of decisions or
choices about how to spend your time.
College, on the other hand, brings a lot of freedom, independence and unstructured time
outside of classes. Most students spend no more than 15 hours in class each week so even with
time for homework, and possibly even a part time job you’ll be in charge of figuring out what to
do with a lot of time. Of all of the lessons to be learned during your college years, one of the most
important is that of balance. It might be tempting and fun to sign up for every club, attend every
event, and go to every party. Or you might go in a different direction and avoid any extra
commitments outside of academics. Either way, your first few weeks at college may feel like a
whirlwind of different activities, orientation events, and checking out various clubs, but
eventually these will likely wind down as you begin to prioritize and balance your schoolwork
and other activities.
First and foremost, it is important to remember why you are in college in the first place: to
learn. While you may be tired from a night out or really want to attend a club event, it is
important to go to all of your classes and keep up with the work. Unlike high school, some of
your classes in college may not require much “homework” and will instead require you to keep
up with readings or other non-graded assignments. It can be easy to push aside the work that
isn’t technically going to be graded, but don’t let this go too far. It’s expected that you might skip
a reading now and then but if you make a habit of ignoring or missing these assignments it could
hurt you later when mid-terms and finals comes around and you’re so far behind.
When it comes to extracurricular activities, joining clubs and teams can be an amazing way
to make friends, get involved, and learn more about yourself. And it actually can be a really
valuable component of your education to participate in student government, student media, clubs
(yes, even participating in clubs can teach you a lot about teamwork, social awareness, managing
programs and budgets) and athletics-and having some fun is good for you too! But, if you start to
feel overcommitted, don’t worry, you can always narrow the list down to an amount of
extracurricular activities that feels more manageable.
One of the most important skills you can learn in college is balancing your academic and
social life. This, in turn, helps you learn how to manage your time, stress level and even indirectly
your mental health. At any point, if you begin to feel like you’ve spread yourself too thin and
your activities are getting in the way of your sleep or taking care of yourself, it’s okay to take a
break. Taking a night off from socializing to have some alone time or staying in to get some work
done once in a while won’t hurt your social life but it will help your academic performance,
stress level and emotional health. On the other hand, if you feel isolated or not busy enough,
remember it is never too late to join a club, team, or group, where members will welcome you.
Feeling exhausted, getting sick, or seeing a drop in your grades can all be signals that you need to
work on balancing the different facets of your life-balancing time and commitments is a skill that
will continue to help you long after you graduate. The key is to be aware of, responsive to and
flexible with your needs, responsibilities and fun so you can learn and enjoy your time in school
as much as possible.
 2. Group Work: Tips on Working with Other Students

Whether it’s just one partner or a group of 10 students, working on a group project (or group
activity) will be an inevitable experience during your college career; and for good reason. The
skills you acquire working with others are invaluable and are certainly going to be of use later in
your life. While working in groups can come with various challenges, and at times you may
wonder why professors assign group projects in the first place, it’s important to remember that
this is supposed to be a little hard.  And surprisingly the lessons learned from working with others
can often be just as valuable as the material or subject matter you’ve learned doing the project.
However, if you find yourself struggling with a group project, here are some tips that may help:
If you get to choose your partners. This may not always be the case, but sometimes
professors will leave it up to the students to decide who will work together. It’s tempting in this
situation to turn to your best friend in the class. But keep in mind: if issues come up during the
project, it may be more difficult to be frank with someone you’re close to. You might try to find
partners who, as much as you can tell, share the same commitment to classwork as you do. If you
are more focused and intense, look for partners who are similarly focused. If you are more “laid
back” in your approach, see whether you can find partners who are like-minded.
What to do at the first meeting. The first time your group meets, there are important
decisions to be made. The first thing to do is designate roles, deciding who will do what, and then
figure out the best mode of communication (email, text, etc.) and how often you will check in
with each other between meetings. Once this is done, set a date and time for your next meeting,
and set specific expectations of what each member should have done by then. Try to pick a
deadline to finish the project at least a few days before it is due. This will create a buffer to
accommodate for any unforeseen delays or give your group one last chance to meet and tie up
any loose ends.
You want more from your group members. If a group member is slacking on his/her
portion of the work, try to get them more involved by asking them specific questions about the
project or giving them specific tasks. When the group meets, you can encourage their
participation by asking for input from all of the group members about what needs to be done so
that it does not become a personal conflict. If their lack of involvement becomes too large of an
issue to ignore, you can ask your professor for advice, but be wary of using names, as this may
create more problems for the student than you intended.
Your group members want more from you. If you become worried that your group
members are disappointed with the amount you’ve contributed, take steps to increase your
involvement. Communication is key, so emailing them with a specific question or asking them
how you can help would be a great start. If you are getting the sense that your contribution might
be lacking, don’t wait until the last minute (i.e. the week that the assignment is due) to try to fix
the situation.
Not all group projects are created equal. You might work in groups that you really enjoy
where everyone contributes appropriately and you make friends you wouldn’t have otherwise.
When working in a group is more challenging, remember some of the tips described above. The
most important things to remember are the importance of communication, planning, flexibility
and cooperation. Easy or hard, collaborating and working together with other students will teach
you a lot about working in teams – a skill almost everyone needs throughout college and beyond.
 The Value of Mentors
One of the great opportunities of the college experience is the chance to meet and get to
know faculty members, academic advisors, and many others who are all part of your educational
experience. You will hopefully come to see that a lot of really important learning happens outside
of your classes.
To make the most of your college experience, it is great to find people to mentor you. For
faculty mentors, there may be opportunities to do research or other academic projects with them
or to have them guide your own academic project. Mentors in student affairs may be ready to
help you learn to start or manage a student organization or club. These outside the classroom
learning experiences can be both fun, rewarding and educational at the same time. Mentors can
help guide you in identifying and refining your interests and college/life goals.
2. Classes and Coursework: Tips for Success

1. Introduction
While you’ll most likely spend less time sitting in class in college than you did in high
school, you will probably spend more time studying and doing assignments. College will
require new study habits and more time management as the workload increases and you
become more responsible for scheduling and managing your time. Click through to read
some suggestions for academic success in colleg
2. Go to Class
Simply showing up to class is the easiest way to improve your odds of academic success.
But it can be tempting to skip out on classes, especially large ones where the instructor
may not keep tabs on attendance. Attending class is usually the best way to learn the
material that you’ll need for tests or assignments. Professors might test on material
covered in class in addition to what’s in the textbook. What’s more, by going to class
you’ll probably learn more and meet people with interesting thoughts and ideas. It’s also a
great way to make friends with people who have the same academic interests or who are in
your major.
3. Take Good Notes
Your college courses will be more complex and in depth than high school classes. If you
don’t already have strong note-taking skills, it’s important that you develop them so you
can refer back to your notes when preparing assignments or studying for tests. College
professors often lecture and test on information that isn’t in the textbook.
4. Schedule Study Time
Juggling courses, social activities and other obligations can be challenging. It’s best to
schedule your study time and set specific goals for each session. It’s important that you
block out enough time in your schedule to complete necessary reading and assignments
each week.
5. Avoid Cramming
It’s easy to procrastinate studying for a test that is two weeks away, but starting early can
prevent last minute cramming. Staying up all night for last minute studying strains you
mentally and physically. While you may have been able to get away with cramming for a
high school exam, college exams usually cover larger amounts of material and it can be
difficult to do well without planning and preparation.
6. Use Resources
If you are having trouble with a class, reach out for support from the course teaching
assistant, the professor, an academic advisor or a tutoring program as soon as possible.
TA’s and professors are pleased when students meet with them to master course material
or try to understand course concepts in greater depth. Seeking support early can reduce
stress and prevent you from falling behind or getting low grades. It’s much better to make
a trip to the academic advising office early in the semester for help than to the registrar’s
office late in the semester to drop a class you are failing.
2. Peer Pressure

We are all influenced by our surroundings. Most of us share many political and religious
beliefs with our families, for example. This is because we learn to see the world from those close
to us as we grow up. It is also because our desire to be close to and approved of by others
sometimes leads us to want to make them happy. And one way we can do that is by sharing their
beliefs and values. As we grow up we hopefully learn to balance our own goals, values and
beliefs with the desire to please family and friends by sharing their values. That feeling of
wanting to satisfy others by doing what they want or expect of us is called peer pressure.
When people are in new situations or social groups – like what happens when you start a
new school or go away to college – sometimes we very much want to feel connected and
accepted by others. Sometimes we feel we can join the group by adopting their values or doing
things we think will make us more acceptable to the group. This can make us vulnerable to peer
pressure – doing things that we think will please other people so we will be accepted.
Giving in to peer pressure may not always be bad. If the other people or group want you to
believe or do something that seems sensible, safe and enjoyable to you – no problem. Joining a
jogging club so that you’ll exercise more regularly with the others than you might on your own is
great. But if you are doing things that feel wrong or dangerous because it will make others like or
accept you, this is not so good. If you think about it, the difference between an initiation into a
sorority or fraternity and “hazing” is that the hazing is usually extreme or dangerous – things you
would not want to do under usual circumstances.
How do you resist peer pressure?
 Realize that it takes some time for everyone to make new friends in new situations. When
you enter college, everyone who is also starting is in the same boat. If you give yourself a
chance, you will make new friends.
 Know your values and limits. If you have a clear idea what is important to you and what
you care about, you will have a clearer idea when someone is trying to get you to go
beyond your comfort zone.
 Realize that someone who really cares about you – a true friend – would not want to get
you to do something dangerous or unpleasant for yourself as a price for being accepted.
It is great to have friends or be a part of a group (or even several groups) but real friends should
act in ways that make you feel good and positive.
3. Family Relationships Change

As you enter college, it’s important to remember that your family members are going
through a transition too. If you lived with your family while attending high school, they are
probably used to seeing you more often than not, communicating with you frequently and
knowing what you are up to most of the time. If you’ve been living under the same roof
throughout your childhood, you and your parents and family haven’t had to try that hard to stay
connected with each other.
When you head off to college, your relationships with the people in your family are bound
to change. Part of growing up is moving towards greater independence; this doesn’t mean you
sever relationships with your family but the nature and balance of the relationships change. This
will be more or less challenging depending on how independent you’ve been in the past, how
much involvement your family wants to have in your college life and to what extent you expect to
stay connected to your family during your college years. If you can think about some of these
things in advance and anticipate some of these changes it will make the adjustment, for you and
your family, a little bit easier.
Talk to your family to define these changing roles and boundaries. Have conversations
before you start college to address how you’ll stay connected. Will it be email, texting, or regular
calls? What types of decisions will they be involved in, or what things will you handle on your
own? Be patient as you and your family members adapt to these changes, and keep the lines of
communication open. Remember too that your needs (and those of your family) will change
during your first semester. You may need more frequent contact and support in the first few
weeks when things are less familiar and you know fewer people than you will as the term
progresses and you “settle in”.

New Communication Guidelines for You and Your Family

1. The situation
You and your family will benefit from setting up expectations for communication while
you are away at school. Have a conversation before you go to school about how, and with
what frequency, you will communicate.
Of course, we are living in an age of multiple communication options. You can call, text,
email, Facetime, connect on Facebook or Skype. You should work out what kinds of
communication options are comfortable for both you and your family and friends.
2. Frequency
Try to imagine what amount of communication feels right for you and will allow your
family to feel confident that things are settling in well. Obviously this can be very flexible
but you should let your family know how often they can expect you to be in touch and
they should let you know if this feels ok.
You should also recognize that you can adjust your agreement based on everyone’s needs
and feelings. If you feel you need a bit more support or a bit more space at first, let your
family know and make sure they are ok with your ideas about the right balance for
communicating.
 Also, it is worth recognizing that your needs for communicating may very well change
from the time you arrive at school through the first term. You may want or feel the need to
communicate more often in the first weeks as you adjust to campus life. As you settle in,
become more familiar and make more friends, you may feel less need for frequent contact
– but remember, your family still probably wants to hear from you to know how and what
you are doing.
3. Ground rules
As part of your communication plan, you also might want to work out what kinds of
situations and decisions your family wants to know about. Are there certain kinds of
expenses or purchases that they’d want you to check with them about before buying? If
you are sick would they want to know? Are there particular problems that you all agree
they should be brought into (if you are failing a course for example)? Is there a
circumstance in which you all agree your roommates should contact your family?
4. Let them know
No doubt, you and your family are all excited and proud that you are beginning college. As
a result of this, some people are hesitant to let their family know if they are having any
problems – they don’t want to disappoint or let their family down in any way. Starting
school can be a little lonely or rocky for many students. Let them know about problems
you might be having and try to work out a plan together to manage the difficulty. This will
be a big help in addressing problems before they become bigger.
5. Evaluate and adjust as needed
As you spend some time in school, consider whether the ground rules you’ve established
are feeling right for everyone. Are you feeling like you are having enough or too much
contact? Is your family comfortable with how much information they are hearing from
you? Discuss any changes you feel would work for you and make sure they are ok with
your family too.
You will probably find that your needs for contact may change through the first term and
first year of school. This is fine. Your family will probably be open to shifting the
arrangement and frequency with your needs as long as the plan makes sense.

Ways to Stay Connected with Family at College

Staying in touch with family is important, especially in the first few months of college as you get
adjusted and figure out the best ways to stay connected to the people you care about. Check out
these simple strategies for staying connected with loved ones. They might seem obvious, but it’s
helpful to review what your options are.
 Schedule weekly calls. Feel free to call anytime to share great news or concerns, but
scheduling a weekly call to catch up can ensure that you don’t go too long without
checking in. Pick a time and try to stick with it unless a conflict can’t be avoided.
  Send an email. Don’t bombard one another with emails, but a funny story is always
welcome. Ask your mom for a favorite recipe or ask your sister for a photo of the family
pet.
 Send a text. So easy and fast! It’s a great way to let everyone know you got a good grade
on your paper, finished that crazy-hard project, are feeling a little homesick, are nervous
about a presentation, or just that you are thinking about them.
 FaceTime or video chat. Maybe you have a periodic call with your parents, family or
siblings but incorporating some “face time” where you can see each other adds a special
component.
 Send photos or video. Show your family where and how you spend your days and nights.
They’ll love it!
Keep in mind that as you settle in and feel more comfortable at school that your plan for staying
in touch with family might change. If your need for weekly calls or daily texts lessens it’s still
important to find ways to stay connected with the people you care about and who care about you.
These relationships will be a source of support during challenging and stressful times.
Changing Friendships

Making friends on campus isn’t always easy. It can feel like everyone else is part of a group
and that you’re the only one struggling to find your place. In reality, most students are in the
same boat.  Most new students have to work at establishing friendships and connections when
they first arrive on campus. Don’t get frustrated if it takes weeks or even months to start building
a good circle of friends. Be patient and look for opportunities to get out and meet new people.
While you are adjusting to your new college environment and possibly feeling a little
insecure about your social connections on campus, your existing friends can be a huge support
network. Your friends from home, who might also be new to their campuses (if they’ve gone
away to school too), will probably be able to relate to your feelings. Texting, FaceTime, social
media and even phone calls every once in a while, especially in those first few weeks, will help
you through some of the adjustment period and offer opportunities for you to tell people about
your experience at school.
Once you start feeling more comfortable with your social circle at school, there’s no need to
toss away your friends from your high school – you can have both! Yet, it’s unlikely that you’ll
have as much time to stay connected with people from home in the same way as you did in the
past. The classes, new experiences and friendships that you get involved with at college will
require a lot of your attention. These changes are normal and many of your friends will be going
through the same thing.
As you get more settled at school you might need to try harder to stay connected with your
old friends. If your schools are close enough, you and your friends can plan to visit each other’s
campuses. Too far to visit? It could be helpful to plan a time to catch up each week or couple of
weeks. You can also stay connected by planning a reunion when you are both back in your
hometown. No matter what, you and your previous relationships will go through some changes
during this time. This might feel uncomfortable at first but eventually you’ll learn to balance the
old parts of your life with new activities, interests and relationships.
Your New Circle of Friends

The worst thing about being away from home, maybe for the first time, can be the feeling that
you’re doing it all by yourself. While it’s true that getting established in college can sometimes be
a bumpy ride, it’s not a solo journey. Even if you can’t wait to head off to college, the change can
end up being anxiety provoking. While you are adjusting in your new environment, you might
think that everyone has it figured out and that you don’t. It’s important to know that this feeling is
normal and almost all first year college students are in the same boat when they arrive on campus.
If you and your new roommates, people in your dorm, and classmates recognize that you can be
huge sources of support for each other, the adjustment might feel easier and less lonely.
Begin your first year at college on the right track by building a support network as soon as
possible. Even before you arrive, try to reach out to alumni from your high school who go to the
college you’ll be attending (perhaps your guidance counselor knows alumni who attend?), join
the “Class of” Facebook page at your college and attend a regional meet-up if there’s one
scheduled in your area. Once you’re on campus, get to know what’s happening in your areas of
interest: theater, dance, hiking, academic clubs, fraternities and sororities, intramural sports and
more. By getting involved in activities that you know and like you’ll be able to meet people who
share your interests – this will be a source of comfort.
If it feels hard to make friends or you feel like people aren’t really getting to know the real you,
you aren’t alone or doing anything wrong. When you think about it, it’s impossible for a friend
you met last week to understand you in the same way that your parents or your best friend since
childhood does. In the first semester of college, try to be patient with this process and remain
open to new people, experiences and opportunities to let people in and get to know you.
3. Getting Involved

 What you end up getting out of college has everything to do with what you put in to the
experience. This goes beyond academics and the time you dedicate to coursework and
studying.  Being involved on campus leads to better overall college experiences, greater
feelings of being connected to other people and it often helps  you learn very useful life skills.
Just keep in mind that social activities, clubs and campus groups offer many benefits, but they
can also consume a lot of time and interfere with other obligations. Balance is key.
 Think about your interests, background and goals to help identify potential organizations to
join. Most college websites have an area where you can browse through organizations and
activities. Make a list of the ones that interest you most and reach out to the leader for more
information. Many organizations allow prospective members to attend certain events or
meetings to learn more. Most schools also have a student activities fair at the beginning of
each semester.
 Whatever activities or organizations you choose to be involved in, use them as an opportunity
to learn new things and meet new people. More than anything, college offers choices. This is
your chance to choose activities that interest you and support your goals.

3. Dorm Living

 Adjusting to college life requires handling a lot of new things at once. You have to balance
classes, social activities, friends and finances. If you are living on campus, chances are that
you’ll also need to adjust to living in a dorm and sharing your space with a roommate. Living
in tight quarters with little privacy can be challenging, especially if this is the first time you or
your roommate(s) have shared a room.
 Most colleges provide contact information for your roommate(s) before you get to school. If
so, reach out to them to say hello and make some initial decisions about what you’ll each
bring and what items will or will not be shared. It’s also a good way to start communicating,
setting expectations and establishing boundaries.
 Many colleges attempt to match students with roommates who have compatible interests and
views but this matching process is not an exact science. You might end up moving in with
your new best friend, someone who you get along with but don’t spend time with outside of
your room, or someone very different than you who is difficult to share your space with.
Managing different personalities, handling conflict, having fun with new friends and learning
to live with other people are all things to expect about living in the dorm.
 RA’s or Resident Advisors are a great resource for concerns you have about living in the
dorm. If you have issues with your roommate, are having trouble connecting with other
students on your floor or having any other questions or concerns about adjusting to campus,
RA’s are a great and accessible option for seeking help.
3. Roommate Communication Tips

Living at home, you might have had your own room or you might have shared a room with
a sibling. If you are attending a residential college this may be the first time you are sharing a
room with a stranger (or even possibly more than one). People from different families and
backgrounds might have very different expectations about how to manage their living space and
people’s personalities can make living together a challenge at times. Some people like a neat tidy
space while others are fine with a mess. Some might prefer to stay up late and some get to bed
earlier. At the same time, many people have become lifelong friends with college roommates.
Once at school, here are some tips for keeping the lines of communication open with your
roommate(s):
Be prepared. Before you move into your new space, review the dorms rules on issues like
visitation and drinking. Also look into any policies about items you can or cannot bring in the
dorm, like microwaves or furniture, before you start shopping.
Be clear. Discuss clear ground rules for drinking, smoking, bringing friends over,
sleepovers, sharing food and clothing, music and TV. It’s important you and your roommate
understand (and respect) each other’s expectations.
Be curious. It might take some time for you and your roommate to get to know each other
personally. You can speed this process along by sharing information up front about yourself that
would be helpful for your roommate to know (examples: you always like to go to bed early, you
have a weekly video chat with your high school friends, when you’re studying you put on your
headphones and don’t like to be interrupted) and you can encourage them to do the same.
Be honest. Try to be honest about what you do and do not feel comfortable with. Talking
behind your roommate’s back can often make the situation worse. If something that is happening
is bothering you, try to look for a way to tactfully bring it up.
Be flexible. Try to recognize that different people do lots of things in different ways. Even
though your family or you may like a certain kind of music or art, it is fine for your roommate to
enjoy different shows, art or music. Think of this as an opportunity to learn. You should consider
whether what your roommate is doing is intruding on your way of doing things. The big
challenge and goal of sharing living space is being able to “do your own thing” while at the same
time being able to respect your roommate’s interests and needs. If you are respectful to your
roommate’s concerns and attitudes there’s a good chance this will be returned.
Be communal. If you are living in a suite with several students, it is a good idea to have
weekly suite meetings to discuss any problems coming up and try to develop a plan to resolve
them. This is also a chance to plan some activities or projects together.
Be solution oriented. If a conflict develops in the room and you can’t work it out with your
roommate easily, try discussing it with a friend outside the situation. Sometimes getting another
person’s perspective can help you see the situation from another perspective and can also help to
find a path to fixing the problem. If your friend can’t help, discuss the situation with your RA.
RA’s are hired because they have lived in housing for a while and should have received some
training in managing some basic roommate conflicts. If your RA can’t help, there are people in
the housing office that might be able to help. When all else fails, sometimes a change of room
might be the best option and can usually be arranged when a serious roommate conflict develops.
4. Your New Found Independence

Beginning college is an important milestone in so many ways. If you have moved away
from home and are living at or near school, you are more in charge of your own activities,
decisions and stuff than you probably have ever been before in your life. Chances are this is
something you have really looked forward to – independence!
Independence is of course liberating and can be really exciting – you get to decide what to
eat, when to sleep (hopefully not too often during times you should be in class), how to approach
your work and what clubs to join and activities to do. But for many young people, having to
manage yourself – especially if things have been managed a lot by others in your life before now
– can feel challenging.
So it can be helpful to recognize that this increased independence is a process. There are
in fact people around campus to help guide you (advisers, RA’s, counselors) and your family and
friends are still there and usually pretty reachable. It can be really helpful to think of gaining
independence as something that happens over time. Chances are you will want to check in with
family and/or friends more in the first few weeks than you might after you’ve settled in more to
life at school.
It is also important to realize that this new independence can sometimes be a bit
“intoxicating”. The freedom of fewer people (like parents and teachers) managing and observing
you can lead you to lose a sense of balance and limits. Sometimes students can push their
independence too much and lose sight of good judgement and even safety, and forget that they
are in school to learn and get an education. While it is great to have fun and explore your new
world and your new freedom, it is important to stay safe and to not lose sight of what is important
to you.
As you work this out, there might be bumps in the road – times that you feel you are not
sure what to do or maybe you will feel that you’ve made mistakes. Here are some ideas to
consider along the way:
 We all feel uncertain at times and everyone makes mistakes. No one has all the answers
about life – actually you should question anyone who tells you they have all the answers.
 When you think of developing independence as a process, the goal is to get better at
handling more things as you move along through life.
 Independence is not an all or nothing thing. We all balance managing things on our own
and depending on others.
 Use supports and help when you need to. When you find yourself struggling trying to
manage an issue or a problem, think about who might be able to provide some guidance or
support. Being independent and mature also means knowing when to get support or
work as a team.
4. Feeling Lonely

Have you ever seen any of the countless movies about college, like Animal House, Pitch
Perfect, or Monsters University? If so, you might have noticed a pattern. While each has an
entirely unique plot and set of characters, most of them share a common trait: an emphasis on the
role of friends in college. In line with these fictional portrayals, many people expect college to be
a place where you can easily meet new people and build a flourishing social life. After all, college
freshmen are thrown into highly social environments with hundreds or even thousands of other
kids their age. How could it possibly be hard to make new friends?
As it turns out, building a new social life during your first year in college can be harder than
you might expect. And if you end up having a hard time, it may seem like everyone else has it all
figured out and that you are the only one struggling. But the truth is, most students have at least
some trouble building their new social life when they go to college. In fact, a major 2015
survey found that first-year students struggle with it more than you might think. This
video by first-year Cornell student Emery Bergmann shows just how common loneliness in
college can be.
It’s true that the transition to college might make you feel a little lonely, but it’s also
important to remember that most of your fellow students will feel the same way. This adjustment
period also tends to improve over a pretty brief time. There’s nothing weird or wrong with feeling
unsettled or lonely in the first few weeks or months at school.  That being said, here are some tips
to help you get through it.
As weird as it might sound, simply finding something to distract yourself and keep
yourself busy can really help. And better yet, make it something that involves others. It could be
a school club, a sports team, a religious group, a dorm event, anything you enjoy. You’ll very
likely find plenty of other students that share your interests, which gives you an immediate point
of connection. Yes, it might feel a little forced at first, but students largely end up valuing the
groups they choose and the people they meet in them. If you find it particularly hard to make
friends, feel connected with others on campus, or put yourself out there, most college campuses
have plenty of resources to reach out to.
Chances are your dorm will have an RA (or other upperclassman staff member) who works
to build a dorm or hall community, and they will frequently be available to talk with you about
how to find social connections on campus. Your social group from back home (friends, family,
etc.) can still be a great source of support to get through a tough transition. Of course, if your
loneliness or difficulty making friends becomes too challenging or goes on for too long, you can
seek out support at your school’s counseling center. Many schools offer counseling services to
undergraduates – just check out your school’s health services website for information about
it. Over 10% of undergraduates use counseling services on campus to help them with a variety
of issues, including feelings of loneliness and adjustment difficulties.
 4. Dealing with Homesickness

Leaving home and going to college brings a lot of new and exciting opportunities, while
also feeling a little intimidating and scary. You’ll be able to meet new people and make new
friends, live independently, develop new skills and interests, just to name a few. But amidst all
the excitement in the first semester and year of college is the potential that you might feel
homesick. Missing your family, friends and the familiarity of home is normal, especially in the
first few weeks or months away from home. And remember, you can feel homesick whether your
family or familiar setting is 10 miles away from campus or across the country.
Below are some helpful ways to ease the transition to college and feelings of homesickness.
 Bring something to college that gives you comfort and/or reminds you of home. This could
include pictures of friends and family or your favorite set of sheets.
 Simply getting involved on campus and taking advantage of the new opportunities
available to you are great ways to meet new people with similar interests. Initially, this
might distract you from missing home. Eventually, your involvement on campus will feel
more like your regular routine and your homesickness will lessen.
 Balance the time you spend keeping in touch with friends and family with time spent
getting to know your new surroundings and new people. It’s important to balance the time
spent calling, texting, FaceTiming and communicating with loved ones from home. It
could make you miss home even more and keep you from feeling settled on campus. It
might feel comforting to be in touch more in the first few days or weeks but then it is good
to try to cut back on this a bit and to focus more on campus life and school.
When you’re missing home it’s easy to stay curled up under your covers in your dorm and
avoid putting yourself out there. Staying in your room all day and keeping to yourself is
counterproductive when it comes to homesickness. Instead of helping, it can make it feel worse.
Take the initiative early on to keep feelings of homesickness at bay: sign up for activities,
meet people on your hall, find study groups for your classes, get involved in a religious group, or
attend a club that you normally wouldn’t attend. One or some of these steps can make all the
difference and can help alleviate feelings of homesickness and loneliness. It will probably feel a
little uncomfortable and awkward at first. Remember that the other people you meet are feeling
the same way as you and that you will feel more comfortable and relaxed over time.
Homesickness usually goes away after a few weeks, but if it doesn’t there are other
resources available for you on campus to help you work through a difficult transition period. The
counseling center and your dorm resident advisor (RA) are very familiar with helping students
with feelings of homesickness. Reach out to one or both of these resources if it seems like your
feelings of homesickness aren’t going away.
 Tips For Teachers: Ways To Help Students Who Struggle With Emotions Or Behavior
https://mhanational.org/tips-teachers-ways-help-students-who-struggle-emotions-or-behavior

1. Start fresh. Other teachers may see your class roster and warn
you about a particular student, but if what they have to say is negative it
can taint your perception of that student before you have even met them.
If you see a conversation starting to go this way, reframe it in a positive
light. Ask what worked best, or what that teacher would have done
differently if they got to do it over. It’s up to you to develop your own
relationship with that student.

2. Draw on past experiences with students, but don’t necessarily

rely on them. The start of the school year brings a fresh crop of children
and teenagers with different backgrounds, personalities, and problems.
Think about techniques that worked last year for dealing with some of
your “difficult” students, but stay open to new approaches.

3. Put yourself in the right frame of mind. Most students who

have emotional or behavioral problems want to be successful in school,
but have trouble controlling themselves, focusing, and staying still. Avoid
deeming them “attention seekers,” or “slackers.” Work on being as patient
as possible.

4. Expect some disorganization and forgetfulness. Children who

are sad, angry, or afraid are probably not too concerned about missing
papers or homework assignments. Of 11-17-year olds who took MHA’s
Youth Screening, 92 percent reported that they sometimes or often had
trouble concentrating, and 91 percent reported that they were sometimes
or often easily distracted. If your workload allows, it might be helpful to
email homework assignments to parents to keep kids on task, or provide
written directions instead of verbal ones so students can refer back to
them. If you are using technology in the classroom, use the reminder or task tools that are
available.

5. Reduce classroom stress. Avoid rigid deadlines – try giving

homework assignments that are due in two days instead of the following
day. Don’t lower grades for non-academic reasons like messy
handwriting, especially with younger children. Think of ways to gamify
your lessons from time to time so they are more engaging for students
who struggle to focus.
 6. Look into evidence-based programs that support social and
emotional learning. MHA recommends the Pax Good Behavior Game
(especially for younger students), the Positive Action Program, and the
Raising Healthy Children Program. These programs use social and
emotional learning to deliver outcomes that matter later in life such as
less crime, lower rates of public assistance, improved employment
opportunities, and higher earning potential. Furthermore, they have
demonstrated considerable return on investment.

7. Find the good and praise it. Children and teens who are
struggling with emotional or behavioral problems find school extra hard
and often deal with low self-esteem. They may be extra sensitive and much
harder on themselves than their peers. Be genuine and generous in your
praise and downplay their shortcomings. Assure them that with hard work
and practice, they will eventually find difficult assignments easier.

8. Be familiar with options for accommodations. For children and

teenagers who still have trouble despite after school help or chances to
correct their mistakes, IEPs and 504 Plans can help structure the unique
assistance they need to succeed. Gently suggest these options to parents
when appropriate – they may not even know this kind of extra help is
available.

9. Avoid embarrassment. When dealing with a student who is

being disruptive, take them aside or out in the hall to explain the problem
rather than reprimanding them in front of their classmates. Ensure that
they know the problem is with the behavior – not them – and how you
expect them to behave moving forward.

10. Exercise compassion. No special accommodation can substitute

for patience, kindness, and flexibility. Teachers bring a great deal of
compassion to the table to start with, but it can be easy to let it fall to the
wayside when you’ve got a classroom full of 30 students, 4 more lesson
plans to get through, and can’t seem to get everyone to stay on the same
page. No one expects you to be a saint – just try your best to keep your
cool.
 11. Work with parents. Parents may see behaviors at home that you
aren’t seeing in school and vice versa. Keeping open lines of communication
with parents will create consistency in working with students who have
emotional or behavioral struggles and minimize misunderstandings. Make a
plan that helps you communicate regularly with parents who need more
frequent contact than others so that they're in the loop with what you're seeing
in the classroom, and they can fill you in on what's going on at home.

12. Make time to take care of yourself. Find ways to de-stress on

evenings and weekends so you can bring your “A game” to the classroom.
You might be the take-a-hot-bath type or you might be the cross fit type –
whatever works best for you. 

 
Adapted from Red Flags, “Ways to Assist Students with Depression or Related Disorders.”

https://collegestats.org/resources/mental-health-guide/
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