Personal Development Lesson 7

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MODULE 7:

Personal Relationships

Part I. Learning Module Information

Content the dynamics of attraction, love, and commitment


Standards
Performance appraise one’s present relationships and make plans for building
Standards responsible future relationships
Most Essential discuss an understanding of teen-age relationships, including the acceptable
Learning and unacceptable expressions of attractions
Competencies
(MELC) express his/her ways of showing attraction, love, and commitment
Duration Q2 Week 1

Part II. Learning Exploration

WHAT DO WE MEAN BY PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS?

The concept of relationship is very broad and complex. In our model, personal relationships refer to close
connections between people, formed by emotional bonds and interactions. These bonds often grow from and
are strengthened by mutual experiences.
Relationships are not static; they are continually evolving, and to fully enjoy and benefit from them we need
skills, information, inspiration, practice, and social support. In our model there are three kinds of personal
relationships:

Family

The concept of "family" is an essential component in any discussion of Relationships, but this varies greatly
from person to person. The Bureau of the Census defines family as "two or more persons who are related by
birth, marriage, or adoption and who live together as one household." But many people have family they don't
live with or to whom they are not bonded by love, and the roles of family vary across cultures as well as
throughout your own lifetime. Some typical characteristics of a family are support, mutual trust, regular
interactions, shared beliefs and values, security, and a sense of community.
Although the concept of "family" is one of the oldest in human nature, its definition has evolved considerably in
the past three decades. Non-traditional family structures and roles can provide as much comfort and support
as traditional forms.

Friends
A friendship can be thought of as a close tie between two people that is often built upon mutual experiences,
shared interests, proximity, and emotional bonding. Friends are able to turn to each other in times of need.
Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler, social-network researchers and authors of the book Connected, find
that the average person has about six close ties—though some have more, and many have only one ornone.
Note that online friends don’t count toward close ties—research indicates that a large online network isn’t
nearly as powerful as having a few closes, real-life friends.

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Partnerships

Romantic partnerships, including marriage, are close relationships formed between two people that are built
upon affection, trust, intimacy, and romantic love. We usually experience this kind of relationship with only one
person at a time.

WHY PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS ARE IMPORTANT

Healthy relationships are a vital component of health and wellbeing. There is compelling evidence that strong
relationships contribute to a long, healthy, and happy life. Conversely, the health risks from being alone or
isolated in one's life are comparable to the risks associated with cigarette smoking, blood pressure, and
obesity.
Research shows that healthy relationships can help you:
1. Live longer

A review of 148 studies found that people with strong social relationships are 50% less likely to die
prematurely. Similarly, Dan Buettner’s Blue Zones research calculates that committing to a life partner can
add 3 years to life expectancy (Researchers Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler have found that men’s life
expectancy benefits from marriage more than women’s do.)

2. Deal with stress

The support offered by a caring friend can provide a buffer against the effects of stress. In a study of over 100
people, researchers found that people who completed a stressful task experienced a faster recovery when
they were reminded of people with whom they had strong relationships. (Those who were reminded of
stressful relationships, on the other hand, experienced even more stress and higher blood pressure.)

3. Be healthier

According to research by psychologist Sheldon Cohen, college students who reported having strong
relationships were half as likely to catch a common cold when exposed to the virus. In addition, 2012
international Gallup poll found that people who feel they have friends and family to count on are generally
more satisfied with their personal health than people who feel isolated. And hanging out with healthy people
increases your own likelihood of health—in their book Connected, Christakis and Fowler show that non-obese
people are more likely to have non-obese friends because healthy habits spread through our social networks.

4. Feel richer
A survey by the National Bureau of Economic Research of 5,000 people found that doubling your group of
friends has the same effect on your wellbeing as a 50% increase in income!

On the other hand, low social support is linked to a number of health consequences, such as:

5. Depression

Loneliness has long been commonly associated with depression, and now research is backing this correlation
up: a 2012 study of breast cancer patients found that those with fewer satisfying social connections
experienced higher levels of depression, pain, and fatigue.
Decreased immune function

The authors of the same study also found a correlation between loneliness and immune system dysregulation,
meaning that a lack of social connections can increase your chances of becoming sick.
Higher blood pressure

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University of Chicago researchers who studied a group of 229 adults over five years found that loneliness
could predict higher blood pressure even years later, indicating that the effects of isolation have long- lasting
consequences.

According to psychiatrists Jacqueline Olds and Richard Schwartz, social alienation is an inevitable
result of contemporary society's preoccupation with materialism and frantic "busy-ness." Their
decades of research support the idea that a lack of relationships can cause multiple problems with
physical, emotional, and spiritual health. The research is clear and devastating: isolation is fatal.

TEN RULES FOR FINDING LOVE AND CREATING LONG- LASTING AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIPS

1. YOU MUST LOVE YOURSELFFIRST


Your relationship with yourself is the central template from which all others are formed. Loving yourself is a
prerequisite to creating a successful and authentic union with another.
2. PARTNERING IS A CHOICE MUST NURTURE THE RELATIONSHIP FOR IT TOTHRIVE
The choice to be in a relationship is up to you. You have the ability to attract your beloved and cause the
relationship you desire to happen.
3. CREATING LOVE IS APROCESS
Moving from “I” to “we” requires a shift in perspective and energy. Being an authentic couple is an evolution.
4. RELATIONSHIPS PROVIDE OPPORTUNITIES TO GROW
Your relationship will serve as an unofficial “life shop” in which you will learn about yourself and how you can
grow on your personal path.
5. COMMUNICATION IS ESSENTIAL
The open exchange of thoughts and feelings is the lifeblood of your relationship.
6. NEGOTIATION WILL BE REQUIRED
There will be times when you and your partner must work through impasses. If you do this consciously and
with respect, you will learn to create win-win outcomes.
7. YOUR RELATIONSHIP WILL BE CHALLENGED BY CHANGE
Life will present turns in the road. How you maneuver those twists and turns determines the success of your
relationship.
8. YOU MUST NURTURE THE RELATIONSHIP FOR IT TO THRIVE
Treasure your beloved and your relationship will flourish.

9. RENEWAL IS THE KEY TO LONGEVITY


Happily ever after means the ability to keep the relationship fresh and vital.
10. YOU WILL FORGET ALL THIS THE MOMENT YOU FALL IN LOVE
You know all these rules inherently. The challenge is to remember them when you fall under the enchanting
spell of love.

What did you learn?

1. How would you describe teenage relationships based on the descriptions of love discussed in this chapter?
2. What do you think is the ideal kind of love? Explain your answer.
3. What is your opinion about online relationships? Is cyber platform a good place to start relationship?

PART III. ASSESSMENT TASK

Activity #1: STATEMENTS ONRELATIONSHIPS

State whether these statements are True or False.


1. It is important to work on communicating our feelings in relationships.
2. To love someone, we must love our self first.
3. Trying to understand where other people are coming from rather than judging
them helps us build and maintain relationships.
4. Having a good relationship does not contribute anything to us having good
health.
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5. When people listen deeply and let us know that they recognize the feeling
behind our words, more likely than not, our relationship is doing good.
6. In our relationships, it is vital that we practice forgiveness when a loved one
has hurt us.
7. Our loved ones cannot help us when we deal with stress.
8. Using positive methods to resolve conflict will more likely help us maintain
good relationships.
9. Expressing gratitude to our friends and family help us maintain good
relationships.
10. Significant differences in core values and beliefs never create a problem in relationships.
11. We are happy in our relationships when our loved ones stay connected by
spending time with us and letting us know that they love us.
12. Excessive reliance on social media can be a cause of tension in
relationships.
13. Relationships are static; they are unchangeable.
14. Being compassionate, forgiving and grateful contribute to healthy
relationships.
15. To fully enjoy and benefit from relationships we need skills, information,
inspiration, practice, and social support.

Activity #2: HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ITEMS SET

Answer the following in your journal.

1. What should you consider when making decisions around sex and sexual limits?
a. Your values
b. Your friends
c. Your family
d. All of the above

2. What is the best style of communication to use when making decisions


about sexual limits and boundaries?
a. Assertive
b. Passive
c. Aggressive

3. Name three important qualities of a healthy relationship.

4. Which of the following is NOT an element of a healthy relationship?


a. Trust one another
b. One person makes all the decisions
c. Respect one another
d. Open and honest communication

5. Name a reason why you may not make healthy choices when it comes to sex.

6. Name three resources you can turn to if you are worried about abuse
in your relationship.

7. Name three characteristics of an unhealthy relationship.

8. What skills do you need to make healthy decisions in a relationship?


a. Intelligence, memory, ability to do public speaking
b. Assertive communication, active listening, and negotiation skills
c. Ability to persuade others, love,
d. Passive communication
e. None of the above

9. Why would you choose abstinence? Give 3reasons.

10. Which of the following are signs that you may be in an abusive
relationship?
a. Bruises, scratches and other signs of injuries
b. Avoiding friends
c. Apologizing for your partner`s behavior
d. All of the above
e.

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Activity #3: I KNOW THE SIGNS OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

Put a HEART before each statement that you think is a sign of a healthy relationship; put an X on
each statement that you think is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

1. You can express your opinion without fear or dread.


2. You and your partner can make decisions together and fairly.
3. Each person takes responsibility for their own actions.
4. Your partner respects your feelings about sex.
5. Your partner supports you and your choices—even when they disagree with you.
6. You respect and encourage each other.
7. You give each other space to study or hang out with friends or family.
8. You are able to make your own decisions about spending your money without
worrying about your partner’s reaction.
9. You can discuss pregnancy and parenting decisions and your view is respected.
10. You feel isolated from friends and family.
11. Your partner tries to control how you spend time and who you hang out with.
12. Your partner tries to control how you spend money.
13. Your partner doesn’t support your decisions.
14. You are sometimes forced to do something that you’re not comfortable with.
15. Your partner threatens, insults, or humiliates you.
16. Your partner hurts you physically or emotionally.
17. Your partner doesn’t keep your secrets safe.
18. Your partner undermines your decisions about pregnancy and parenting

PART IV. INTERNET LINKS

http://washingteenhelp.org/your-relationships/your-love-life
http://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/enhance-your-wellbeing/relationships/what-do-we-mean-personal-
relationships
http://angellovecards.com/assets/luminaries/drcherrieLOVEposter.pdf
http://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/enhance-your-wellbeing/relationships/why-personal-relationships-are-
important

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