Getting Out of My Box

Getting Out of My Box: Part 1 1
Getting Out of My Box: Part 1
Makayla Stucki
Sis. Carolyn Andrews
FAML 220: Parenting
July 4, 2020
Notice the Indications of the Box
I have a heart of peace towards my sister. For the sake of this assignment, I will call her
Kate. Kate and I are close. We work together, share a room, and talk often. I feel that I have a
heart of peace towards her because we get along well most of the time. I see her as an individual
person with hopes, aspirations, interests, wants, and concerns. When I am with Kate, I often feel
happiness, amusement, and contentment; generally, I feel positive emotions when I am with her.
Sometimes, more so lately, I have a heart of war towards another sister; I’ll call her Jo.
All growing up, Jo and I had clashing personalities. This still happens today. I also share a room
with Jo. In my eyes, she is often messy, lazy, whiny, and irritating. I often find myself in the
boxes of “Better-than” and “I-deserve.” I feel better than her at times because I will have my bed
made, she won’t. I don’t whine very often, she does. I am willing to share my things with my
sisters, she isn’t as willing. These feelings objectify her. I tend to see her as less and annoying
when these things happen.
Find Out-of-the-Box Space
Even though I have a heart at war with Jo, I can find out-of-the-box space for her.
Changing the way that I see and think about her would help to create this space. Effort would be
needed. Taking the time to love and serve Jo would decrease my negative feelings towards her.
Loving, accepting, and having patience with her result from understanding and recognizing that
she is a daughter of God.

Sacrifice on my part needs to be made. I can be prideful at times, so developing humility
would counter my prideful behaviors and actions towards Jo and my position inside the “Better-
than” box. Patience is also a sacrifice for me as I am not naturally patient.
Ponder the Situation Anew
Jo doesn’t seem to have many burdens, challenges, trials, or pains that she talks about or
that surface often. Jo plays soccer, and I think that she does have some burdens/trials that are
associated with that. Soccer is very competitive and her teammates are not always very kind on
the field. The coaches pick favorites and care more about winning than the girls themselves. Jo is
also a perfectionist, so when she is unable to get things right the first time, she gets frustrated and
gets down on herself. Another thing that I have noticed about Jo is that she gets easily distracted.
The majority of the people that are associated with Jo’s challenges are her coaches and
teammates. Because she is often distracted and doesn’t finish tasks, or takes a long time to do
them, my dad, as well as myself and my other family members, may contribute to her challenges.
I would say that we are contributing to these because we are a negative influence in her life. Her
coaches cause stress and frustration because-like stated before- they care more about winning
than the girls. The team members treat others less when they are on the field. Our family causes
frustration and negative feelings for her because we can all be impatient at times, and quarreling
is caused when family members aren’t doing what another wants/expects.
Jo, at times, is mistreated and neglected by outside and family influences. Because her
coaches pick favorites, Jo isn’t paid as much attention as those girls and isn’t given as much
recognition. While playing or practicing, her teammates neglect her and her athletic abilities.
Within the home, pride and impatience cause her to be mistreated and sometimes her needs
-mental or physical- to be neglected. Jo is seen as an object in these situations. I know that I can
be a cause to the problem rather than a solution. My position inside of the “Better-than” and “I-
deserve” boxes interfere with possible solutions. Feelings of better-than come from pride and a
feeling of superiority which leads to the I- deserve justifications.
For Jo, I feel that I need to be more patient and loving than I already am. Instead of
asking her to do things in a demanding and demeaning way, I need to do so lovingly and in a
positive manner. If she has a rough day at soccer, then I can be uplifting and encouraging
towards her. Overall, I need to be humbler and kinder. I feel that doing these things would help
her because she would feel that I love, support, and accept her. I see her as an someone that has
challenges, feelings, and goals like everyone else.

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What challenges does the author face with her sister Jo?

How does the author view Jo and how does this affect their relationship?

Getting Out of My Box: Part 1 1

Getting Out of My Box: Part 1

Sis. Carolyn Andrews

FAML 220: Parenting

Notice the Indications of the Box

when these things happen.

Find Out-of-the-Box Space

she is a daughter of God.

Sacrifice on my part needs to be made. I can be prideful at times, so developing humility

than” box. Patience is also a sacrifice for me as I am not naturally patient.

Ponder the Situation Anew

is caused when family members aren’t doing what another wants/expects.

feeling of superiority which leads to the I- deserve justifications.

challenges, feelings, and goals like everyone else.

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