ISSN 1470-0247 Chatter TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017

To Win Just Once Contents

(incorporating Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses) Chatter ..................................................................................................... 3
Letters...................................................................................................... 3
Of Huns and Visigoths .......................................................................... 4
Pevans reviews Germania Magna .............................................................................4
Not even the best drummer… .............................................................. 7
Pevans reviews Band Manager: Backstage Clash ...................................................7
Cave canem! .......................................................................................... 10
Pevans reviews Domus Domini............................................................................... 10
Games Events ....................................................................................... 14
Online Games........................................................................................ 15
Subscribing to TWJO .......................................................................... 15
Fictionary Dictionary ......................................................................... 16
Round 5 Scores .......................................................................................................... 16
Pevans reviews Round 6 definitions .................................................................................................... 16
Germania Magna Obama (Railway Rivals game 12)...................................................... 18
Game report – Turn 2............................................................................................... 18
Trader to the Stars (Star Trader game 8)........................................ 19
Game report – Turn 10............................................................................................. 19
Trader to the Stars map – Turn 10......................................................................... 21
Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses................................................................. 22
April 1669 (302)......................................................................................................... 22
Press ........................................................................................................................... 31
Points Arising............................................................................................................ 33
Announcements......................................................................................................... 33
Duels........................................................................................................................... 33
New Characters ........................................................................................................ 35
Tables ......................................................................................................................... 35
And then plays Other Appointments .................................................................................................. 35
Band Manager Battle Results ............................................................................................................ 35
Army Organisation and 1669’s Summer Deployment ................................................. 36
Brigade Positions ....................................................................................................... 36
Frontier Regiments .................................................................................................... 36
Regiments.................................................................................................................. 37
Femmes Fatales......................................................................................................... 37
The Greasy Pole ........................................................................................................ 38
That would be enough......................................................................... 40
Deadlines ................................................................................................................... 40
Waiting lists .............................................................................................................. 40
Credits........................................................................................................................ 40

Issue 171: Jan-Feb 2017 £2.25 (+ postage)

(LPBS 302: April 1669) and online at www.pevans.co.uk/TWJO Page 2
TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017 Chatter Of Huns and Visigoths TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017

Chatter Of Huns and Visigoths

Welcome to 2017! I trust everybody had a good Christmas. Pevans reviews Germania Magna
However, I am very sad to report the sudden death of Joe Farrell, who has been
There’s a bit of history to this review. I was originally sent a pre-production copy
‘Jacques As’ in Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses for over four years, just after
of Germania Magna by Phalanx to preview in advance of the Kickstarter launch.
Christmas. Joe was a great contributor to LPBS and will be missed. On behalf of
After playing the game at Swiggers, I duly wrote a piece and passed it to
all my readers – and particularly LPBS players – I offer our condolences to Joe’s
Phalanx, with some critical observations and suggestions. They responded to my
family and friends. criticisms, pointing out that I had a ‘beta’ version of the game that didn’t include
My most recent people-watching demonstrated a new use for a head scarf: for “changes we did to improve the game when the project was taken by PHALANX.”
hands-free mobile use. The occasion was travelling by Overground train to visit a
Having been funded on Kickstarter last September, the game duly appeared at
client. A few stations after me, a woman got on with a black headscarf tight
Spiel the following month. It looked just like the game I had previewed. Pete
around her head. The incongruous bit was the bright blue mobile phone sticking
Card and I sat down and played it on the Phalanx stand and I could find no
out of it. It was held in place by the scarf, next to her cheek and, presumably,
changes from the earlier version. A closer check shows that the points I noted
against her ear. She was certainly able to chatter happily with both hands free.
about specific cards have indeed been clarified in the finished version and some
Until we went through the tunnel under Hampstead Heath. After that, the phone
cards have changed, but the rules seem to be identical. Hence the game is pretty
had to come out to re-dial. Then it was inserted under the scarf again and the
much as it was when I first played it. This review is thus based on my original
conversation continued. preview plus subsequent playing of the finished game and takes Phalanx’s
This year, as with every other, the mince pies have disappeared from the responses into account.
supermarket the day after Christmas. Luckily I stocked up before then and thus
The theme of Germania Magna – German tribes pillaging Roman provinces as
have a supply that should last me until the end of the month (they’ve got a “Best
the Empire declines – appeals both to the history buff and the teenage boy within
Before” date in March, but they’re not going to last that long). Then I’ll just have
me. Who can resist the chance to duff up some Roman legionaries? The provinces
to start on the hot cross buns that are already on the shelves. are represented by large cards, showing the province’s strength – and thus what
TWJO online it’s worth in laurels (victory points) – as well as the spoils available and any
special effects (for example, military formation cards have no effect in the forests
After its publication on 15th December, the PDF version of TWJO 170 was
of “Belgica Secunda”).
downloaded 115 times in what was left of December. The previous issue, 169,
attracted 28 downloads in December, taking it to 226 in two months. Issue 168 The game’s box is solidly packed with lots of cards, plus cardboard coins and a
was downloaded 35 times in the month, making 189 since publication. couple of dice. As well as the ‘Province’ cards, there’s a large card and a couple of
counters for each player to score their laurels. The “Tribal cards” are at the heart
Looking at how people get to my website, there are still a fair number of links
of the game, representing players’ troops, strategy and tactics. Apart from
from odd Russian websites. Plus something called inboundlinks.win, which
defeating the Romans, many of the cards can be used to disadvantage other
appears to be a website for finding out what other websites have links to a
players’ forces, since players’ scores for defeating a province are relative to what
particular site. So I gave it a try and it’s clearly missing some of the links I know
they contributed to the attack. While the Tribal cards make up the bulk of the
are there. It also claims my website is hosted in Iran. Go figure!
cards in the game, there are cards for Roman forces and for the tribes’ chieftains.

Letters The game starts with one target province on the table. Each player gets a hand of
cards and some cash. A round starts with players drawing Chieftain cards. (At
Tim Macaire has an observation. the end of the round, all the Chieftain cards are shuffled together again and
Surely Lancaster House should have 4 floors while Lysander House only has one? players draw from the full deck each round.) Turn order for the round depends on
the different values of players’ Chieftains. Each Chieftain also has a special
I see where you’re coming from, Tim. Which makes a change! ability. These abilities can be quite significant – extra strength, extra laurels,
extra loot and so on. This is a fairly neat mechanism: it randomises turn order
each round and makes sure one player doesn’t get exclusive use of a special

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TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017 Of Huns and Visigoths Of Huns and Visigoths TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017

ability. On the other hand, getting the right Chieftain at the right time is pure
luck and players can’t really plan their turn until they’ve drawn their Chieftain if
they want to make the most of their ability.
Once players have their Chieftains, a new Province is drawn and added to the
row of targets – replacing one (start player’s choice) if there are already three on
the table. Note that a removed Province card goes on to the discard pile that
determines when the game ends. Roman cards are added to the new Province, if
required. These increase the strength of the Province, but are placed face down,
so players don’t know the full strength of what they’re attacking. This is a nice
touch, adding some uncertainty to the game. A little checking before the game
will tell players the maximum and average values of these cards so they know
what’s needed to guarantee victory in any attack.
Players then draw cards and/or take cash. Since you need money to play cards,
you’re generally taking whichever you have least of. Though there is the option to
take a little of both.
The meat of each round consists of players, in turn order, playing a card and
paying its cost – or passing. This goes round until everybody has passed. Players
may pass because they have run out of cash or of cards, or just decided not to
play any more cards. Most of the time, playing a card means deploying the troops
depicted against a particular province, initiating (or adding to) a “clash”.
Interestingly, we quickly found that everybody wanted to hold back and see what
other players did before committing themselves.
Germania Magna in play
Apart from troop cards of different types (heavy or light, infantry or cavalry),
cards can be ‘Attachments’, which are added to troops to provide a bonus (or according to the players’ relative strength in the clash. Thus, you can pick up
penalty). ‘Strategy’ cards can be played in a player’s turn and generally take points from a minimal involvement, but need the largest strength to score big.
something from another player. They may be thwarted by ‘Tactic’ cards, which
are played in response to something happening. Then players check for casualties amongst their forces. For each unit they
committed, they roll a die and must at least equal the number shown on the card.
Once you pass, you’re out for the rest of the round. This gives an advantage to This doesn’t sound much, but it does slow the game down, especially if significant
players with more cards and money as they can continue playing. Hence, in all forces were deployed. What’s more, it’s a random effect that influences how the
my games, players have quickly started building up their hands – particularly as game continues. Say two players each commit six units to a clash, but one loses
there’s no hand limit – and building a war chest. However, players can’t afford to four of them while the other only loses one. The second player now has a
spend too long not attacking as discarded Provinces will bring the game to an end significant advantage. I understand the need to cull cards from player’s hands,
and only the players who have attacked (and won!) will have any points. The but my preference would be to do this in a more balanced way. It’s a definite
other problem with building a large hand, as the Phalanx guys pointed out, is
incentive to pick up cards that reduce your losses (or score points for them).
that certain cards will negate this. “Heavy Rains”, for example, stops any more
cards being played. If the tribes are defeated in the clash – often because of the machinations of one
of their number – the chances of losing units is higher. There may also be a
When everybody’s passed, the clashes are resolved. Taking all the card effects special defeat condition on the province (deploy extra Roman forces, for example)
into account, the players’ total force must beat the province’s strength, to make things harder for the players. The province remains on the table to be
augmented by any Roman forces. Victory means laurels and loot for players – attacked again, but any Romans are shuffled back into their deck. Fresh Roman
unless stopped by the effects of any of the cards – plus anything else shown on
cards will be added at the start of the next round.
the province card (drawing an extra card, say). The points are shared out

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TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017 Not even the best drummer… Not even the best drummer… TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017

After winning a clash, the Province card is discarded. As I’ve already mentioned,
this is the game end mechanism. The game finishes at the end of a round when
at least six Provinces have been discarded, whether by being defeated or because
there were too many on the table. The time pressure on the players is an
important element in the game: players can’t afford to take forever building up
their strength or the game will be over. As expected, the player with the most
laurels at the end of the game is the winner.
The rules are well written, taking you through the game and then providing a
reference section, which makes it much easier to look things up. There is also a
lengthy example of game play, which provides some useful clarity and is well
worth working through before your first game. I still like the theme of Germania
Magna and the game has some clever touches. However, it also has a lot of
randomness, which did not go down well with some of my fellow players.
One of the interesting things about the game is that Phalanx plan to produce
additional, different Tribal decks. This allows players to have their own,
customised deck to play from. (You could do this now if each player has their own
copy of the game, though you’d have to take care to make sure everybody got
their cards back.) I think this will address some of the randomness in the game.
In particular, it answers my issues with the Chieftain cards: each player has
their own set and can programme the order in which they’re drawn.
I’m essentially in two minds about this game. There are certain aspects I like and
others I don’t – and which some of the people I played with really didn’t like. It
does have an appeal, though, and it’s a game I will come back to. It gets 6/10 on
my highly subjective scale and I suggest you try it yourself to see what you think.
Germania Magna was designed by Daniel Budacz, Piotr Krzystek and Lukasz
Wrona and is published by Phalanx Games in Poland. It is a card game for 2-4
players, aged 14+, and takes around an hour to play. My thanks to Phalanx for
providing me with a review copy and responding to my initial comments. You can Playing Band Manager: a complete tour that will earn 2 Fan and 3 Career cards with
‘star’ getting first pick of these and claiming the ‘2’ Hype card.
find out more on the Phalanx website at http://www.phalanxgames.pl/en/
My initial thought, on seeing the title, was that this was a game of bands
Not even the best drummer… competing directly. However, it’s actually about putting a band together and
going on tour. Apart from the T-shirt, the box contains lots of cards and a set of
Pevans reviews Band Manager: Backstage Clash badges whose symbols identify the players. The main deck of cards (‘Career’
I was introduced to this game (under its working title of Battle of the Bands – no cards) has four suits/colours that represent what you need to go on tour: Hype,
relation to the 2001 game of the same name) at the 2016 UK Games Expo and Chops, Riffs and Gear. These come in values from 0-4, with plenty of zeroes and
was very pleased to receive a copy in the post a little later. The first thing to note just the one ‘4’ in each suit. The secondary deck is Fan cards, valued 1-4, which
is that the game does not have a board. It has a printed T-shirt! As someone who are what you need to win: first to 27+ fans wins.
has fond memories of the Ragnar Brothers’ early games, played on printed tea There are also enough ‘Passion’ cards for each player to start with two. These are
towels, I was quite taken with this. As it’s essentially a card game, the T-shirt wild Career cards and give players an initial start on their music career. The first
just provides positions for players to lay down cards and it doesn’t matter that it’s turns will be quite quick, as players will generally take the first option of what to
not perfectly flat. Plus you get to wear it! (On a different occasion.)

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TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017 Not even the best drummer… Cave canem! TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017

do on their turn: “Stay home and Practise”. They draw a card from the Career It’s the negotiation that’s at the heart of the game. Played in the right spirit, it’s
deck and add it to their hand – there’s no hand limit at this point. great fun. You’ve just got be aware that it’s making deals that will win the game,
not careful hand management. As each card has a different description, there’s
Sooner or later, one player will decide it’s time to “Go on Tour”! They are then the
also a story to be told. This starts with the Pasion cards, which give the back
tour manager and need to put together at least one set of all four suits of Career
story of why the player is in the music biz. Maybe they’re from a “Broken Home”,
cards. They can go it alone or involve the other players to make up the set. This
is where the T-shirt comes in as players put their cards into the appropriate but found a “Mentor”. Or maybe they’re “Starstruck”, but have “Talent”.
column for its suit. The more rows that can be filled, the greater the rewards, but Band Manager is a game to be played for the pleasure of it. And there’s plenty of
the first tours are likely to be a single row, with one card of each suit. fun to be had. Yes, someone will eventually win, but hopefully everybody will
When they place their card, players also put their badge on a card – not have enjoyed the ride. It gets 6/10 on my highly subjective scale.
necessarily the one they played and only one badge per column. This does two Band Manager: Backstage Clash was designed by Ed Saperia and launched as a
things. It reserves the card they’d like to get back after the tour and it sets the Kickstarter project. It was funded at the start of November 2016 and should be
order for choosing rewards (columns from left to right). Since everybody would available April/May 2017. It’s an entertaining card game for 3-5 players, aged
like a high value card and/or first choice, this is the subject of negotiation. Thus, 14+ (though it should be accessible to younger players than that), and takes 30-
the heart of this game is the bickering over who goes where when the band goes 60 minutes to play. Many thanks to Ed for providing me with a review copy – and
on tour. Brilliant! adding to my T-shirt collection. There’s a website for the game at:
www.battleofthebandscardgame.com
Note that if the manager goes on tour on their own, they don’t get to place their
badge. They get all the rewards from the tour, but they will lose the cards they
played. Also note that Passion cards can be played anywhere, but can’t be
Cave canem!
reserved with a badge. These cards give players a way of getting started in the
music business, but you don’t get a long career out of passion alone. A nice touch.
Pevans reviews Domus Domini
I was pleased to see a chunky new game on the franjos stand at Spiel ’15. They’ve
When a tour is put together successfully, the rewards are cards drawn off the two
produced some excellent games over the years, but often more abstract than I’d
decks. The number of rewards is given by the value of the cards played, the type
like. Domus Domini (Latin for “The House of the Lord” of course) looked much
– Career or Fan – depends on the position of the cards played. The more rows
more my cup of tea. The designer, Heinz-Georg Thiemann, is the man behind
that are filled, the more Fan cards are drawn. However, you also need to play a
Planet Steam. Given the title of the game – not to mention the artwork showing a
Fan to complete the higher rows of a tour. The rewards are then set out, face up,
tonsured monk – I was expecting an ecclesiastical theme and I was not wrong.
and players choose a card in turn. The tour manager gets first choice, then the
participating players in the order of their badges until all the rewards have gone. In fact, the players each run a monastery, a satellite of the great Abbey at Cluny.
Each player picks up their reserved card and the others are discarded (Passion Their role is to provide food for the Abbey for which they are rewarded with
cards go out of the game). ‘Letters of Indulgence’ (or Victory Points, speaking out-of-character) according to
how much they deliver. What’s more, those monasteries that provide less food get
The final thing at the end of a tour is for the tour manager (only) to reduce their
more funds from the Abbey to help them develop further. You’ll immediately get
hand down to seven cards. They do this by discarding Career cards and/or
the idea: take the money to develop early on and rake in the points later. The
playing Fan cards face-up in front of them. This forces players to reveal at least
crucial question is when to switch. However, the game only lasts five rounds, so
part of their score and also means these Fan cards can’t be used to complete a
you haven’t got long to do either.
row of a tour.
The central board shows the winding road to Cluny, divided into spaces marked
If anyone has 27 points or more of Fan cards, it’s game over and they’ve won.
with amounts, with a scoring track around the edge. At the end of each round,
Band Manager is not a deep game. The winning strategy is to be lucky: get ‘4’ players put their wagons on the appropriate spaces according to how much food
cards and hang on to them. And preferably the ‘4’ Hype as this is the first column they produced. One neat touch is that anyone producing more than 400 points’
of a tour. However, the negotiation aspect means that players can’t dominate this worth – which is just about achievable in the later stages of the game – places
way. If someone has the ‘4’ Hype, they’ll have to give it up sooner or later or be their wagon straight into Cluny where it is safe from any beggars (more about
frozen out of every deal – and putting on a tour on their own loses the card. this later). While players’ score for the round is given by the space their wagon

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TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017 Cave canem! Cave canem! TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017

ends up in, the income they get is in order from the

bottom of the road.
The meat of the game takes place on players’
individual boards, representing their monastery.
Here there are three tracks showing the current
development status of the monastery’s food-
producing areas: the fields that produce food, the
dairy that produces cheese and the brewery that
produces beer. You’ve got to love a game that
includes producing beer! There are also spaces for
the monastery’s workers (‘lay brothers’) – both when resting and at work in the
fields – stored food tokens and money and ‘cellarer’ card.
As well as their board, players get a set of wooden markers: tokens for their
production development tracks, a wagon to mark their food delivery, a victory
point marker and a house so that everyone knows which colour they’re playing
(crucial as far as I’m concerned). They also start with an initial supply of worker
tiles and a full set of food tiles (there are no spare food tiles, but players can only My monastery during Domus Domini. I have a full production brewery, plus a Brewer
hold a certain number, so you only need that many tiles). Each player also gets ‘Cellarer’ for even more beer, but no chapel (typecast again!)
four tiles that make up a chapel, which they may construct during the game.
Then, in order, players get the chance to buy/replace their ‘Cellarer’ card, which
The first thing to do at the beginning of the round (after the first one, anyway) is is an interesting tactical element. First off, there are eighteen Cellarers,
reveal the ‘Event’ card for the round. These can be good or bad and generally give numbered 1-18. They cost that amount to buy and earn that many points at the
players time to react to them. The rules give the Event cards as optional. I end of the game. Each is associated with one production area and provides a
suggest leaving them out for your first game, so that you can master the game’s bonus. What’s more, players’ Cellarers are used to break ties, since the numbers
systems. Then add them in to provide variety and give players some different must be unique. Once they have a Cellarer – and not buying one on the first
challenges during the game. round can be a useful tactic – players can trade up or down at the start of
The round proper starts with an interesting sort-of-auction for the start player subsequent rounds, paying/receiving the difference in value and returning their
marker (a set of cards decide this at random for the first round). The usual previous card to the deck (allowing other players to take it). Switching Cellarers
preference is to be last in turn order as it’s quite useful to be able to see what can be useful in making the most of the available bonuses, but you can’t rely on
everybody else has done (though there are some actions where it’s better to be being able to do this as other players also switch around. This is one part of the
first). First, the marker (a chunky wooden pillar) is passed left to the next player. round where it’s useful to be first in turn order.
They either take it, or pay a coin to pass it on. The next player either takes it or We now get into the main part of the round, with each player carrying out all
pays a coin to pass it on… This continues until someone bites the bullet and their actions before the next player gets a go. The most obvious thing to do is
keeps the pillar – along with all the accumulated coins. spend money to develop production area/s of their monastery. This increases the
The next ‘Production’ card is then turned over. This indicates a bonus for one of amount of food they produce (and the points they are worth). Second, players can
the three production areas (fields, dairy, and brewery). There is one card for each buy the next section of their chapel. These add spaces for lay brothers to pray in,
round (plus a sixth discarded at the start of the game), so this also tracks which also increasing food production, and players score points according to how big
round is being played. There are bonus cards for players according to who is the their chapel is at the end of the game. Players can use food to hire more lay
most developed in each production area, but these aren’t given out until the brothers – if these are available and they have room for them, both important
second round. This is the point at which players harvest food from their fields considerations. Apart from being assigned to the chapel, lay brothers can be
and/or earn interest on deposited cash – again things that can’t happen in the deployed into the fields where each pair will produce one food at the start of the
first round. next round.

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TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017 Cave canem! Games Events TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017

On top of this, players can pay cash to get a doghouse and food to get dogs. They quite possible to build up a big enough lead that they can’t catch you. As I said,
must have an (empty) doghouse for each dog and score points for their dogs at the the game is subtler than it appears at first.
end of the game. Dogs can also be used to defend your wagon from beggars, as
My copy of Domus Domini immediately had several outings at the Swiggers
we’ll see. Any spare cash can be deposited with the moneylender and earns one
games club, where it went down well (people have even been playing it without
interest for every 3 coins at the start of the next round. As I’ve already noted, the
me!). For me, the game provides the right amount of planning and thinking –
strategy of this game is to earn money in early rounds. Thus it makes sense not
without melting any brain cells – and some interaction between the players. It
to spend too much money early on, as this would increase your food production
seems to be carefully balanced so that players can opt for different strategies and
and thus earn you less income. What’s more, depositing the cash earns interest,
still have a chance of winning. All in all, it gets a solid 8/10 on my highly
getting you more income. However, everybody’s likely to be doing the same, so
subjective scale and I must thank Franz-Josef Herbst at franjos for providing a
the jockeying for position at the back of the track gets very interesting.
review copy.
The last thing each player does is tot up their food production: from their three Domus Domini was designed by Heinz-Georg Thiemann and is published by
production areas, their Cellarer and any bonuses – from their Cellarer, the franjos. It is a strategy board game for 2-6 players (and works well with 3 or 4,
current production card and lay brothers in their chapel. They put their wagon from my experience), aged 12+ and takes around two hours to play, depending
pawn on the appropriate space of the road to Cluny. Once everybody’s completed on the number and experience of the players. This review was first published in
their actions and placed their wagon, the fun starts. Players who have Counter 73, August 2016.
unassigned lay brothers can use them to ‘beg’ food from players who’ve produced
more than them. They don’t get any food (though they do score a point), but do Games Events
move the other player’s wagon back along the road. Unless that player can chase
them off by using a dog! This is a neat little mechanism that has some tactical Coming up in February is SoRCon: 24th-26th February 2017 at the Holiday Inn
subtleties (for a start, you’re unlikely to move anyone to a position behind you in in Basildon. It’s essentially an open gaming weekend with a few organised
events, along with new and secondhand games to buy. It should be a good, fun
the early rounds as this would give them more income and you less!).
three days, so book up at www.sorcon.org.uk (or the SoRCon group on Facebook).
Once everybody’s had a chance to use lay brothers, players can use spare food to
boost their wagon along the road again. However, they must also retain a little This box concentrates on events I expect to attend.
food to feed any remaining lay brothers in their monastery – easy to get caught Swiggers: games club that meets every Wednesday evening, upstairs at The
out on this one. Finally, players score points according to where their wagon has Shipwright’s Arms, 88 Tooley Street, London SE1 2TF (a few minutes’ walk from
ended up. Then they get income, with the player at the back getting most. Note London Bridge station). For more info, see www.pevans.co.uk/Swiggers
that this is where the tie-breaking capability of your Cellarer can be useful as it Games Games Games Days: from noon(-ish) on the second Saturday of most
always breaks ties in your favour – something to keep in mind when jockeying for months at the Allsop Arms (137 Gloucester Place, London NW1 5AL). The pub
position on the road. has an extensive menu as well as good beer and is convenient for Baker Street
Players remove their wagons and the next round starts with the start player and Marylebone stations and a short walk from Bond Street Tube station.
marker moving on. After five rounds the game ends. Apart from what they’ve UK Games Expo: 2nd-4th June 2017 at the NEC (Hall 1 and Hilton Metropole).
scored during the game, players get points for dogs, remaining lay brothers, how This is a public event that showcases games of all sorts with a huge trade hall
much they’ve developed each of their production areas, the size of their chapel plus demonstration and participation games and guests. For gamers there are
and their Cellarer card. And, of course, the player with the most points wins. lots of tournaments and open gaming. For details see www.ukgamesexpo.co.uk
Spiel: the board games event of the year. 26th-29th October 2017, at the Messe
What surprised me at first was how subtle the game is. A single facet, such as
(Exhibition Centre) in Essen. Contact Friedhelm Merz Verlag, Postfach 210250,
choosing which Cellarer card to take (or whether to take one), appears quite Bonn, 53157 Germany or see www.merz-verlag-en.com
simple initially. However, this has ramifications right through the round – and
potentially into subsequent rounds as well. Hence, players need to think carefully MidCon: November 2017 at the Hallmark Hotel in Derby. MidCon is a friendly
about each action and plan ahead. What’s more, while I have suggested that the board games convention in a decent hotel. See www.midcon.org.uk.
strategy is to go for income early on, the game is more subtle than that. If you For more extensive information on UK board games events, try The Queen’s
have several players trying to produce as little as possible and hoard cash, it’s Lane Advertiser at www.boardgamers.org.uk/qla.php

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TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017 Online Games Fictionary Dictionary TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017

Online Games Fictionary Dictionary

TWJO readers are welcome to join in the various online board games we’re Mr Baylis has mixed feelings about the people voting for his definitions: “thanks
playing. Let me know what games you’d like to play and I’ll add you in. to whoever gave me 2 points in the last [turn], they must be real weirdoes.”
I won game 43 of Brass (at brass.orderofthehammer.com) with 176 points from You’ve got three more points this round, Chris. The weirdoes are out there!
our ringer, ‘railgamer’, on 163. Steve was third on 117 with Mike scoring 114 Tim Macaire and Pam tried to vote for one of their own definitions.
points. The ringer (in this case, ‘rbayu2’) won game 44 with 168 points. I
At the halfway point, Andy Kendall remains in front. Bill Hay closes the gap
managed second with 146. Mike was third on 137 and Steve fourth with 120.
slightly, pulling away from Colin Bruce, who’s still third. Just.
Game 45 has just started and I’d like a new player or two for number 46.
I seem to be getting better at Castles of Burgundy and would welcome other Round 5 Scores
players at yucata.de or BoiteAJeux.net. And if you fancy playing Keyflower, let Name This round Total
me have your ID at BoardGameArena.com and I’ll invite you into a game.
Chris Baylis 3 5
boardgaming-online.com has an implementation of the new edition of Through
Colin Bruce 1 12
the Ages. I’m discovering that it’s just as tricky as the original! Al Tabor and I are
fans – anyone like to join us? Mike Dommett 1 7
Alex Everard 2 11
The latest game to appear at yucata.de is Pax Porfiriana! An excellent
opportunity to play this a bit more: anyone want to join me? And Nippon has just William Hay 4 15
appeared at BoardGameArena.com. I’ve started one game – anyone else want to Andrew Kendall 3 19
give it a go?
Nik Luker 0 10
Tim Macaire 4 7
Subscribing to TWJO
Graeme Morris 0 6
TWJO is published on paper and online at www.pevans.co.uk/TWJO (as a PDF
document). You can buy or subscribe online or as below. Rob Pinkerton 1 2
If you want to play in any (or all) of the games in TWJO, you have two options. Pam Udowiczenko 3 6
You can subscribe to the paper edition, which includes playing in the games. Or Bruce Whitehill 0 5
you can take the PDF edition and pay the “games only” subscription.
The table on the right shows the Round 6 definitions
Paper edition UK Europe World
costs for the paper edition, The proposals are below. All you have to do is let me know your favourite
including postage. 10-issue (1 year)
£27.00 £45.00 £55.00 definition for each word.
subscription
The second table on the right shows
the games only subscription (including VAT, Kainite 3 Kinky Vampire.
UK & Else-
where applicable). Games only 4 A mineral identified by Israeli
EU where 1 (Pronounced Can-Ett-ee) The
To subscribe, send your name, address and 10-turn (1 year) thirty-second largest forest park in scientists.
payment to To Win Just Once, 180 Aylsham subscription £6.00 £5.00 the US of A. It is exactly half the size 5 How super fans of Dean Cain refer
Drive, Uxbridge UB10 8UF, UK or of Yosemite Park and its location is in to themselves.
[email protected]. You can pay by bank transfer (contact me for the the south-west corner of the National
company’s bank account details), by UK cheque (payable to Margam Evans Ltd) Monument’s Park Colorado. 6 Fossilised bamboo.
or by PayPal to [email protected]. You can subscribe online at 2 (Pron. Ka-ee-nee-tay) Name of the 7 The rock used to kill Able [sic].
www.pevans.co.uk/TWJO, where you can pay by credit card (via Paypal or Ford Ka in Japan. Literally “Ka is
Amazon) or Paypal account. parkingness”.

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TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017 Fictionary Dictionary Obama (Railway Rivals game 12) TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017

8 A soft type of rock, attractive to 4 Smartphone abbreviation of

dogs. leaving.
Obama (Railway Rivals game 12)
9 Strangely glowing crystal which 5 Economic system based on the Game report – Turn 2
weakens anyone unfortunate enough Bulgarian lev. AMERICAN CENTRAL RAILWAYS built west into Iowa, while TYRANNICAL
to be called Kai. RACISM UNDER MY PRESIDENCY and CANNIS RAILWAYS continued south
6 An Israeli-bred pedigree type of the
10 A mineral substance noted for its St Bernard canine. with TRUMP off the pace. UPTHUR CREEK RAILS called at Peoria and then
fluorescent properties in UV light, headed west towards Iowa as well.
7 Half a French Breakfast (the other
where it glows yellow.
half being Lepain). Builds
Levin 8 Levin: A news article that is TYRANNICAL RACISM UNDER CANNIS RAILWAYS (CR), Paul
1 An extremely rare British café thoughtful and balanced, despite MY PRESIDENCY (TRUMP), Evans – Blue
racer motorcycle comprising a appearing in one of the papers whose Gerald Udowiczenko – Black a) (G62) – Bloomington (+3);
Vincent engine in a Levis frame. An opinions, by astonishing coincidence, a) (G62) – Bloomington (+3); (G62) – F61 – D62
unfortunate propensity to self- mirror those of their billionaire (G63) – F63 – E64 – D64 b) (D62) – Decatur – X22 (+6)
destruct explains the rarity of these owners. (Named after Bernard Levin, b) (D64) – Champaign (+6); c) (X22) – Mattoon – W25 – V24 – U25
machines. formerly of The Times.) Sadly in (D64) – D63 – C63 – B62 – A62 – (+6)
decline. Decatur Points: 26 +15 +8 = 49
2 A style of reportage – as in “He’s a
c) (Decatur) – Z21 – Y22 – X22 – X23
proper Levin.” 9 “Wine” when the space bar is
– Matton (8 to CR) UPTHUR CREEK RAILS (UCR),
faulty.
3 A form of compost made from Points: 20 +9 –8 = 21 Mike Clibborn–Dyer – Red
decomposed Levi jeans. 10 A type of Russian, communist era a) (J60) – J56
bread known for its bland taste. AMERICAN CENTRAL RAILWAY b) (J56) – Peoria – H56 – Pekin (+6);
The next words are: Maud and Nitramine (ACR), Jonathan Palfrey – Green J56 – J53
a) (Elgin) – V60 c) (J53) – Galesburg (+6);
Send your votes (just two numbers) and/or made-up definitions to b) (V60) – V58 – Dixon – T55 (+6) (J53) – J49
Pevans at 180 Aylsham Drive, UXBRIDGE UB10 8UF or c) (T55) – Clinton (+6) Points: 32 +12 = 44
to [email protected] by 10th February 2017 Points: 32 +6 +6 = 44
What’s this about?
GM Notes
This game is open to all readers and I guess most of you will have come across
Note that Mike is due to go into hospital
some variation of it. Each issue I will put up a couple of obscure (or not) words.
on 2nd February, so the next turn may be
Anybody who wants to participate writes in with a fictional definition for each
word. (For example: “Geranium: a ceremonial dagger used by Aztec priests for delayed.
human sacrifice.”) I publish the definitions, anonymously. Next Turn’s builds: 5, 4, 5
All readers (not just those who contributed) vote for their favourite definitions Orders to Mike Dommett, 119
(any vote for yourself will be ignored). Players score points for the number of Victoria Road, Alton GU34 2DD
people who choose their definition. (In other versions of the game, the definitions or by e-mail to
include the correct one and players get points for spotting it. However, Google [email protected]
and Wikipedia make this too easy, so I’ve left it out for this game.) by 3rd February 2017
We’ll run this for 10 rounds/issues. The winner will be the player with the most
points at the end.

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TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017 Trader to the Stars (Star Trader game 8) Trader to the Stars (Star Trader game 8) TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017

A Dealership was TRANSURANIC’s reward for selling 10 Liquors for 13 HTs

Trader to the Stars (Star Trader game 8) each at Mu Herculis. FATCAT bought 17 Petroleum for 8 HTs apiece and gained
Game report – Turn 10 Contractor recognition, while TRANSURANIC bought 6 Petroleum through the
good offices of Agent Percent.
The best bit of news for INTERSIDEREAL GREENHORNS was the early return
of their ship the Tracey with an exceptional bonus of 500 HTs which the Sigma Draconis saw TRANSURANIC buying Isotopes – 8 units at 6 HTs apiece –
Corporation took to the Federal Bankers. and gaining a Dealership, after which INTERSIDEREAL GREENHORNS bought
2 more for just 2 HTs each. COSTA NOSTRA II sold 5 Spice on Contracts.
It was a good quarter, too, for Shipyards round the Quadrant. WHITE STAR
LINE laid down a Piccolo Hull with A class crew at Epsilon Eridani. PAVONIS WHITE STAR LINE managed to purchase 6 Liquor for 13 HTs at Alpha Centauri
and took a Contractor’s position. INTERSIDEREAL sold 8 Isotopes for 9 HTs and
PIONEERS laid down four new Phoenix Hulls, one at each Spaceport.
got a further Contractorship.
COSTA NOSTRA IMPORTERS INC loaded Passengers for Beta Hydri, Epsilon
Eridani and Mu Herculis. Beta Hydri saw FATCAT selling 10 Isotopes for 10 HTs each, undercutting
COSTA NOSTRA and INTERSIDEREAL’s bids of 12. INTERSIDEREAL then
FOOLS AND HORSES were quiet this turn as were WHITE STAR LINE. undercut COSTA NOSTRA’s bid of 18 to sell Monopoles, selling 7 units for 17
FEDERATED ASSOCIATION OF TRUCKERS CO-OPERATIVES AND HTs apiece and gaining a Dealership. COSTA NOSTRA finally managed to make
TRADERS bought 15 Isotope Factories at Sigma Draconis and 3 Warehouses to a trade, selling 3 Petroleum at a price of 8 HTs, after which PAVONIS sold 1 at 9
go with them. Ma Parker was given fresh papers, a new A class crew and will be HTs and FOOLS & HORSES used their Market Manager’s position to sell 11
renamed. It is not, apparently, intended to do business with the previous owner. Spice for 16 HTs each.
2 more Cargo pods were bought for Croco. Criminal Connections were raised still Corporation Table
further. Passengers were loaded for Beta Hydri, Alpha Centauri, and Tau Ceti.
Connections Init’v Turn Re
SWISS MERCENARY FLEET managed to sell three Piccolo hulls at Mu Herculis Corporation letter and name Cash Player
Bus/Crim/Pol Bid order p’n
at 120% of list. C Costra Nostra II 6 5 2 18 1st 249 26 Mark Cowper
PAVONIS PIONEERS bought 10 Monopole Factories at Mu Herculis, and also D Fools & Horses 3 0 7 0 6th 532 40 Mike Clibborn-Dyer
took OP 39. E FATCAT 10 8 5 12 3rd 532 24 Jerry Elsmore
TRANSURANIC TRADING launched the TT Europa at Tau Ceti with A class F White Star Line 2 0 7 0+1 8th 548 40 Paul Evans
crew, Augmented Jump and A grade crew and loaded passengers to Beta Hydri
G Swiss Mercenary Fleet 3 5 4 0 5th 502 40 Martin Jennings
and Alpha Centauri.
H Intersidereal Greenhorns 10 0 7 0 7th 838 40 Mateusz Ochman
At Gamma Leporis, PAVONIS PIONEERS bought 10 Alloys at 4 HTs each and
were made Contractors. TRANSURANIC were also buying, but could only buy 6 J Pavonis Pioneers 10 0 8 12 2nd 159 40 Przemek Orwat
Alloys at a price of 3 HTs, though they also became Contractors. K Transuranic Trading 10 0 5 0 4th 255 40 Bob Parkins
INTERSIDEREAL’s bid of 2 to buy was ignored. N under Initiative Bid means No move received, F indicates the Corp was floated
WHITE STAR LINE sold 5 Liquors at Epsilon Eridani, where PAVONIS
PIONEERS sold 3 Petroleum on Contracts. News
PAVONIS PIONEERS were busy at Delta Pavonis, first selling 5 Isotopes on OP39 (B8) was taken by PAVONIS Turn 12C7, C5, B6, C4
PIONEERS. Turn 13B5, C8, B3
Contract and then selling 5 Petroleum in the same way.
Turn 14P4
Tau Ceti saw TRANSURANIC selling 5 Alloys for 12 HTs each, after which they There were two new News chits this
(Chits are identified by the
joined PAVONIS PIONEERS in buying Isotopes on Contracts – 5 each. turn. The current chits (new ones in
Connection type and level required to
PAVONIS PIONEERS then sold 5 of their over-priced Petroleum on Contracts as bold) are as follows.
see them and disappear/take effect in
the price fell. Turn 11B4, P7, P2
the News Phase of the turn listed.)

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TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017 Trader to the Stars (Star Trader game 8) Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017

GM Notes Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses

Note that Mike is due to go into hospital on 2nd February, so the next turn may Being a correspondence game of En Garde! run by
be delayed. Pevans since April 1986 and now published as
part of To Win Just Once.
Orders to Mike Dommett, 119 Victoria Road, Alton GU34 2DD
or by e-mail to [email protected] New players are always welcome. If
by 3rd February 2017 you’d like to play, you’ll need to
subscribe to TWJO (see page 15). You
will also need (access to) a copy of the
published rules to En Garde! (see
www.engarde.co.uk).
Orders for May 1669 to
Pevans at 180 Aylsham Drive,
UXBRIDGE UB10 8UF, UK or
[email protected]
by Friday 10th February 2017

Trader to the Stars map – Turn 10

April 1669 (302)
The arrival of April sees the weather warm up considerably, though the thaw
leaves the roads deep in mud for a couple of weeks. This is no matter on the
cobbled streets of Paris and Parisians are quickly about their business as usual.
Some of this involves skulking through the streets to secluded courtyards or
groves while carrying sharp steel implements. Yes, there are affairs of honour to
be settled.
Nobleman Florent Sans de Machine has a bone to pick with commoner Claude
Talon. This requires Sans de Machine to test his rapier – the weapon of a
gentleman – against Talon’s funny little axe things (they’re not even French!).
The two men are evenly matched and neither bothers to bring any seconds. Talon
backs away initially, the better to cock his arm. However, Sans de Machine closes
up and attacks with a lunge. This is just enough to spoil Talon’s aim and his
tomahawk hurtles past as the rapier strikes home. First blood to Sans de
Machine, despite his inferior skill. His attack is, in fact, the first part of a furious
lunge. The second part is the cut, which he delivers just as Talon hurls his second
axe. The rapier cut isn’t a lot of damage. The tomahawk blade buried in Sans de
Machine’s thigh is. He is quick to surrender so that he can staunch the blood.
27th Musketeers commander Charles Louis Desapear has a couple of duels and
decides to meet his regimental enemy, Lt-Colonel Xavier Four-Hollandaise of the
13th Fusiliers, first. This is a rapier versus rapier duel, but the hefty Desapear is
clearly twice the size of the willowy Four-Hollandaise. Felix Antoine
Gauchepied’er arrives as Four-Hollandaise’s second, holding a dainty

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TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017 Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017

handkerchief to his nose. Desapear is on the defensive: he parries, he jumps Dragoon Guards Etienne Brule and Frele d’Acier expect to duel Terence
aside. It’s no good: Four-Hollandaise waits and then hits him with a slash. Cuckpowder, commander of their arch-rivals, the Queen’s Own Carabiniers.
Gauchepied’er collapses at the sight of blood, but the duellists ignore him. However, they are disappointed: Cuckpowder, hobbling on two crutches with the
Desapear hits back with a slash of his own, followed by a lunge from Four- support of a blonde nurse, waves a letter from his doctor by way of an apology.
Hollandaise. A lunge from Desapear evens the score as Four-Hollandaise dodges This leaves the duel between regimental enemies Percy Mistic, Lieutenant-
just too late. Desapear’s cut finishes the job, catching Four-Hollandaise before he Colonel of the Archduke Leopold Cuirassiers, and Xavier Money, a Captain in the
can take guard again and knocking him to the ground. Having just recovered Grand Duke Max Dragoons. Both men bring their regimental sabres and Mistic
from his faint, Gauchepied’er collapses again. Accepting Four-Hollandaise’s brings Bill de Zmerchant and Pierre Cardigan as well. Greater skill gives Mistic
surrender, it is Desapear who assists his opponent to his feet and off to the an advantage, which he uses to great effect. The two men engage swords; Money
sawbones, leaving Gauchepied’er to recover in his own time. pauses; Mistic slashes; Money surrenders. And that’s that.
Louis Oeuf Ur Terribles is Desapear’s second opponent, this time over the Nothing to answer
affections of Mlle di Griz. Hefty Desapear may be, but Terribles is heftier, carries
Paris is agog to see what
a cutlass and has the support of Gaston le Somme and Sebastian Adis II. Despite
will happen at the trial of
le Somme’s jeers (“Call that a sword? The King’s Fool’s wit is sharper”), Desapear
Baron Brule and the Earl
has the upper hand at first, He dodges Terribles’ first slash and lands a slash of
d’Acier, given last month’s
his own – not that this does much damage when delivered by a rapier. Desapear
rough handling of the
opts for a lunge next, only to receive a second slash from Terribles. This is more
Commissioner of Public
than enough damage and Desapear concedes the fight.
Safety by the Minister of
Terribles hangs around with his seconds (and his cutlass), waiting for Leonard de State. The public benches
Hofstadt to show up. Brigadier-General Hofstadt duly arrives, nervously are crowded and numerous
swishing his rapier in preparation. He is much the same size as Terribles, members of the legal
though, so it’s only his lack of expertise that is a handicap. Oh, and his weapon. profession, their friends and
Le Somme keeps up the barracking: “Any last requests? Why not ‘courage’, you’re relatives have found an
going to need it!” Terribles sees no reason for subtlety in this duel any more than excuse to be in court. So has Bill de Zmerchant. The prisoners are led in. The
he did in his first: he slashes. Hofstadt’s block stops the heavier sword only for Minister takes the judge’s seat and CPS Terence Cuckpowder stands to deliver
the narrow blade of the rapier to snap. his opening remarks.
It turns out Terribles is being more subtle than expected: his is using a furious “Sir,” he addresses the Minister, “it has proved impossible to see you and your
slash. However, the cut uses the blunt side of the cutlass, inflicting no actual only communication has been through others where you have told me apparently
damage – though the blow is uncomfortable. Hofstadt retaliates with a lunge and to resign and give my post to your messenger. It is not possible for me to work
slash, but his shortened blade simply doesn’t reach his opponent. Thinking fast, without your confidence and His Majesty needs a strong and effective
he blocks as Terribles throws Government. I am therefore resigning forthwith and going to serve His Majesty
a second slash. Again, the at the front. I release the prisoners into your hands knowing you will discharge
block stops the cutlass, but them.”
the rapier hilt shatters
The courtroom is silent as Cuckpowder bows, turns on his heel and strides
leaving Hofstadt without a
hobbles out on his crutches, dodging the nuts Bill de Zmerchant is flicking at
weapon. Disarmed, he can do
him. However, before Minister of State Pierre le Sang can dismiss the charges,
no more than shake his fist at
Etienne Brule demands the opportunity to make a statement, handing over a
Terribles, who hits him with
substantial donation to the Minister’s favourite fund out of his new loans.
two slashes before he finally
surrenders. “Gentlemen of France, we must stand together to protect His Majesty from the
grotesque abuse of power being made by the CPS. I am the Commanding Officer

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TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017 Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017

of the Dragoon Guards, the finest cavalry regiment in His Majesty’s army. The Eauneurts looks him up and down, but shakes his head and hands him back his
CPS is from the QOC, a motley assembly of poorly dressed, poorly mounted social application. Ees eet because he am Spanish?
misfits whose service to France can only be appreciated in the context of His
Majesty’s benevolent policy of elevating the self-esteem of the chronically
Party like it’s 1669!
incompetent with the appearance of real gainful employment. The poor QOC This month Was Nae Me is the man! He is holding a party in Hunter’s all month
hears the phrase ‘get that rabble out of the way of the real army’ so often they long and has lots of guests. For two weeks, anyway. Yes, it’s only the first half of
believe it is the French army battle cry. the month that he has no competition. So, week one: Was is at the door of the
club to greet all those coming to Toady to him. First on the list is Annibal
“The commander of said rabble has, in an apparent ‘equal rights for the weak,
Lechiffre. He has Violet Bott on his arm and they head straight for the gaming
cowardly and stupid’ affirmative action programme, been raised to the title of
tables. Annibal places five small bets, winning three and losing two to come out
CPS. Fellow gentlemen of France, how has he used his authority, benignly
ahead. Charles Louis Desapear is next to arrive and brings Josephine
granted by His Majesty in the way one might give a burnt-out match to the
Buonoparte with him. Having paid his monthly tithe, Claude Talon escorts Anna
village idiot? He acts pettily and foolishly, and accuses France’s brave soldiers
Rexique. They are followed by Felix Antoine Gauchepied’er (with his “Miss”,
and gentlemen out of rank jealousy. Face it, CPS: we are the Dragoon Guards,
Triss), who, when he catches up with Claude, challenges him for being a pleb.
and you are not. You simply have to live with your obvious inferiority the way the
Accompanied by Charlotte de Gaulle, Florent Sans de Machine is next and he,
rest of us have had to come to terms with your obvious inferiority.”
too, challenges Claude for his lack of nobility. Skirting this fracas, Gaston le
At which le Sang orders the prisoners released and sets off to confirm the Somme arrives with Bess Ottede.
appointment of the new Commissioner.
Jean d’Ice escorts Ava Crisp. Louis Oeuf Ur Terribles brings Sue Briquet. Percy
Dunkin’ the CPS Mistic, who arrives with Lotte Bottle on his arm, is the next to challenge Claude.
In this case, it’s because they are in enemy regiments. Sebastian Adis II has
As the Queen’s Own Carabiniers get their marching orders and set off for the
Marie Antoinette with him. Di Lemmere is with the other Sebastian, de la
frontier, MoS Pierre le Sang is finally able to appoint his Aide, Duncan
Creme. Xavier Four-Hollandaise brings Leia Orgasma, but parks her at a table
d’Eauneurts, as Commissioner of Public Safety. However, he continues to leave
while he exchanges insults with his enemy, Charles. Xavier Money, arriving with
vacant the position of Minister of Justice.
Betty Kant, joins his colleague, Claude, in swapping challenges with Percy. The
The Colonel of the Crown Prince Cuirassiers must be unpopular. Felix Antoine final arrival will only identify himself as ‘X2’. But he is clearly of noble blood as
Gauchepied’er has requested that he resign his commission. The Colonel is he is horrified to find so many commoners claiming to be his social superiors. He
leaned on by Alan de Frocked, Bill de Zmerchant, Jacques de Gain, Pierre le interrupts Charles and Xavier (FH) long enough to challenge both of them, moves
Sang, Richard Shapmes and Sebastian de la Crème. Despite having the support on to Percy and then joins the crowd slapping Claude with their gloves. He’ll be a
of Rick O’Shea and Terence Cuckpowder, the conclusion is inevitable: the Colonel busy boy next month.
departs. Gauchepied’er is unable to buy the rank for himself, but, as Lt-Colonel,
There are just a few people lounging around in the Fleur de Lys. Etienne Brule is
he is now in command of the regiment – though currently serving as Brigade
there with Belle Epoque. Pierre le Sang has a quiet drink with Guinevere
Major of Heavy Brigade.
d’Arthur. Uther Xavier-Beauregard enjoys Henrietta Carrotte’s company. The
Annibal Lechiffre calls for the senior Major of Princess Louisa’s Light Dragoons noises off are made by Chopine Camus, who is hoping to Toady to Pierre. Pierre
to quit. Thanks to Mlle Bott, he is able to wield some influence, but not enough to is not expecting him, so Chopine’s week is passed in the foyer. The only other
get rid of the man. However, there’s s till a vacancy in the regiment for a junior club visited by a member is the Blue Gables, where Coeur De Lion can be found
Major and Lechiffre buys that rank. with Ada Andabettoir.
Lt-Col Gaston le Somme assists General Pierre Cardigan in getting rid of his Was’s party continues into the second week, but slightly fewer people turn up.
Aide. Cardigan then leaves the post vacant. Annibal Lechiffre is on the gaming tables again with Violet as his lucky charm.
A new arrival in Paris, Inigo Montoya, applies to Amant d’Au to join the Royal His luck reverses: he loses three bets and wins two, exactly cancelling out his
Foot Guards. Au turns him down. Montoya trots down the street to the barracks gains from his previous session. Charles Louis Desapear escorts Josephine again.
of the King’s Musketeers and offers his services to Colonel Duncan d’Eauneurts. Florent Sans de Machine returns with Charlotte. Gaston le Somme brings Bess
again. Percy Mistic still has Lotte with him. Sebastian Adis II and Marie are

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TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017 Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017

followed by Sebastian de la Crème and Di. Xavier Four-Hollandaise brings Leia Dragoon Guards to attend. The acting commander of the Crown Prince
for further exchanges with Charles. Xavier Money, with Betty, reinforces his Cuirassiers, Felix Antoine Gauchepied’er, is at the party, whooping it up with his
challenge with Percy. And ‘X2’ has a further go at those beneath him. The new friend, Trissy. The Royal Marines contingent is led by Brigadier-General Gaz
arrivals are Gaz Moutarde, accompanied by Anne Tique, and Pepé Nicole. Gaz Moutarde, with Anne, and consists of Major Louis Oeuf Ur Terribles, escorting
meets up with his colleague, Gaston, and both swap insults with Pepé, as he’s in Sue. Major Claude Talon is the senior member of the Grand Duke Max Dragoons
their enemy regiment. in attendance and has Anna on his arm. They are joined by Captain Xavier
Money, accompanied by Betty. As his two comrades are serving with the Brigade,
Etienne Brule and Belle continue in the peace and quiet of the Fleur de Lys.
However, Pierre le Sang and Guinevere do have a guest this week. Duncan Xavier Four-Hollandaise is the ranking 13th Fusilier in attendance.
d’Eauneurts arrives to Toady. The Commissioner of Public Safety conferring with Princess Louisa’s Light Dragoons are
the Minister of State has to be bad news for somebody… Reading the writing on represented by Colonel Balzac Slap-
the wall, Chopine Camus has taken himself off to Bothwell’s and Sheila Kiwi dash and Lt-Colonel Jean Tétreault-
accompanies him. Coeur De Lion and Ada return to the comfort of Blue Gables. Cauchon. Balzac is horrified to see so
many party guests that cannot be
Come week 3 and the numbers in Hunter’s
considered noble and makes the
plummet. The lure of Pierre Cardigan’s do is just
rounds challenging all those he can
too much. Only Annibal Lechiffre and Gaston le
find: Bernard, Maurice and Xavier.
Somme remain with Was. Both accompanied by
That will keep him busy next month.
their ladies, of course: Violet and Bess. Annibal has
Bdr-Gen Charles Louis Desapear is
another flutter on the tables and his luck has
leader of the 27th Musketeers and another target of a challenge from Balzac.
definitely deserted him: he wins only one of his five
Despite Josephine’s protestations, Charles takes the opportunity to renew
bets, leaving him out of pocket for the week (and
proceedings with his enemy, Xavier, only to find this means taking on his
the month). Leonard de Hofstadt appears in Hunter’s, too – at a separate table,
colleagues, Bernard and Le Poutine, as well. Bdr-Gen Pepé Nicole is commander
though. He is there to show off his new conquest, Mlle Frances Forrin.
of the 69th Arquebusiers, which means he picks fights with Gaz and Louis.
Blue Gables has an extra couple in situ. Percy Mistic takes Lotte there, hoping
A few others attend, thanks to Pierre’s generous invitation. Inigo Montoya
for some guests, while Coeur De Lion and Ada seem to be setting up residence.
arrives at his first Paris party looking as bewildered as he did on the doorstep of
Apart from this, the other clubs remain empty as (nearly) everybody heads for
an empty house earlier in the month. Sacramento d’Masses, another new name
the Fleur to Toady to General Count Cardigan.
in Paris, turns up with Lucy Fur on his arm. No need to ask where he’s been
A bit of a do earlier in the month – especially if you’re Alan de Frocked. Last, and possibly
least, is ‘X2’, who sparks another round of challenges to those he considers hoi
Pierre Cardigan and Edna Bucquette think they’re hosting a small party, but
most of Paris turns up. Starting with the Minister of State, Earl Pierre le Sang, polloi. He has female company this week as he’s brought Jenny Russe with him.
with Guinevere on his arm. Sebastian de la Creme is another Minister – without Pierre’s party calms down – a bit – for the last week. Attending again are:
portfolio this time – and arrives with Di. The new CPS, Duncan d’Eauneurts, Bernard, Bill (and Mary), Balzac, Charles (and Josephine), Duncan, Etienne (and
pitches up on his own. Having re-financed his loans, First Army commander Bill Belle), Inigo, Jean (and Ava), Le Poutine, Maurice, Pierre (and Guinevere),
de Zmerchant brings Mary Huana, while Third Army is represented by its Sebastian A (and Marie), Sebastian C (and Di), Sacramento (and Lucy) and
Quartermaster-General, Etienne Brule, accompanied by Belle Epoque. Adjutant- Xavier. Regimental and social causes are renewed again, but everybody’s looking
General Sebastian Adis II escorts Marie. Second Foot Brigadier Bernard de Lur- a bit tired by this stage.
Saluces is supported by his Brigade Major, Le Poutine Noir.
At Hunter’s, Was Nae Me has no guests for the last week of his do, while Leonard
Major Jean d’Ice brings Ava with him and is representing The Cardinal’s Guard. de Hofstadt is again in the club with Frances. Coeur De Lion and Ada continue at
Jean is immediately at odds with Duncan, as commander of the King’s Blue Gables, where Percy Mistic and Lotte receive some guests. Louis Oeuf Ur
Musketeers, who is supported by KM Major Maurice Essai Deux (alone as his Terribles brings Sue and Pepé Nicole comes on his own. These two are enemies,
courting didn’t work out). Subaltern Henri Dubois is the only member of the of course, so it’s not a very peaceful get-together.

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Wake and ride Jean Tétreault-Cauchon (sabre) and Pierre Cardigan (sabre). Lots of others fill in
the odd week with some practice, while Henri Dubois has a week’s regimental
The alternative attraction is, of course, the horse race at the Prix d’Or. The
duties to deal with. Sacramento d’Masses loses a week trying to remember which
sudden death of host and sponsor Jacques As means those attending are
club he joined. The answer is none. Felix Antoine Gauchepied’er takes a week to
expecting to attend a wake for the late Jacques. What they don’t expect is to find
conduct a most unusual exercise now he’s commander of the Crown Prince
the Crown Prince leading proceedings (assisted by a squad from the palace
Cuirassiers. However, the men take exception to the demand that they carry out
guard). The Dauphin announces that the race will be the First Jacques As
their training in the nude – it’s not that warm! – pointing out that Gauchepied’er
Memorial Stakes, which he will hold in honour of the departed every April.
is Brigade Major and thus out of the chain of command at the moment.
There are five entrants for the race and they look to be evenly matched. Apart
from Gaz Moutarde who, as a Marine, does not look comfortable on horseback, Mud sticks
much as Anne encourages him. Having said that, he and Annibal Lechiffre are On the frontiers the thaw does not make things any easier for the French troops
the two who look most like jockeys, as Annibal’s supporter, Violet, is quick to conducting the siege. Now they’re stuck in the mud. Literally. As are the
point out. The other riders are Claude Talon, riding bareback in native American defending Spanish troops when they attempt a sally, surging out of their gates.
style, Felix Antoine Gauchepied’er (dressed in a frock and a blonde wig, he has to This makes them easy pickings for those of the Royal Foot Guards who’ve set up
be dragged away from ‘fraternising’ with the grooms), and Xavier Money, cheered firing platforms by stacking brushwood on the soft ground. There’s a Mention in
on by Betty. As the horses charge away from the start, it’s Annibal who takes an Despatches for the regiment’s commander, Brigadier-General Amant d’Au
early lead, a length ahead. Neck and neck behind him are Claude and Gaz, just (“rising above”). More to his taste is the few hundred crowns of booty liberated
keeping in front of the struggling Felix and the inept Xavier. from the defeated Spanish troops. Lieutenant-Colonel Jean Jeanie is also
Mentioned (“still moaning, though”), who beats his commander by pocketing 400
The horses thunder down the back straight with Annibal looking very
crowns worth of goodies. There’s just a couple of hundred crowns’ worth of loot for
comfortable and entering the corner even further in the lead. Behind him, Claude
Major Beau Reese Jean Seine, whose name is in the Despatches as well (“Bo
has not got the best from his mount and is now half a length down on the
Rhys… no, Beau Rhys… no, Bo Rees…”).
hurtling Marine, Gaz. These two are a couple of lengths ahead of Xavier, who’s
struggling to get any speed out of his steed Felix is even further back, having It’s been heavy going for the Queen’s Own Carabiniers travelling across the
accidentally obscured his horse’s view with his parasol. Sods of earth fly as the country and they don’t arrive until half way through April. However, they cross
horses round the corner and enter the final straight. Annibal digs his heels in paths with a Spanish wagon train trying to deliver supplies to the defenders.
and his horse responds, charging flat out for the line and a comfortable win. With the wagons stuck in the mud, they’re sitting ducks for the cavalrymen. Bdr-
Claude’s whispering has finally had an effect and his horse, too, picks up the Gen Terence Cuckpowder is very satisfied with his 1,600 crowns worth of
pace. This is enough to catch, but not pass, Gaz, whose steady speed takes him to supplies and receives a Mention in Despatches (“He looks very pleased with
a share of second with Claude. Xavier’s mount finally gets the idea, but his late himself”) into the bargain.
charge still leaves him a couple of lengths down in fourth. Felix sashays in last,
Things are less pleasant for the Frontier troops and the volunteers serving with
insisting that his race is all about style. Celebratory drinks follow the race, of
them. Still, Dragoon Guards Major Jean Ettonique survives happily with
course, which is ‘X2’ and Felix’s opportunity to challenge Claude’s presence. Frontier regiment 3. Lt-Col Alan de Frocked does better with his battalion of the
Elsewhere in Paris, Jacques de Gain breaks with tradition to spend the first Cardinal’s Guard, joining the RFG in picking up a little plunder. In his case, it’s
week of the month in a bawdyhouse. He indulges in some female company before over 500 crowns’ worth. Lt-Gen Richard Shapmes is leading a battalion of the
heading back to the gym to pick up his rapier again, showing his empty purse to Royal North Highlanders and has his own success: a MiD (“He’s even sounding
the footpads on the way. Duncan d’Eauneurts is their next target (the new CPS!), like a Highlander”) and booty that’s worth two hundred crowns. 
but has carefully spent his cash before they get to him. Rick O’Shea has a similar
set of activities, but saves his trip to the red light district for the third week, in
between his rapier practice. Uther Xavier-Beauregard gets in three weeks with
his sabre once he’s got the partying out of his system.
Putting in two weeks with the weapon of their choice are: Balzac Slapdash (on
rapier), Chopine Camus (preferring sabre), Florent Sans de Machine (rapier),

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TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017 Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017

Press Parade ground at the CPC barracks My name is Inigo Montoya. Does that
New commander Felix Anton sound familiar?
Social Greetings Brothers of the GDMD and Gauchpied’er sits aside his black
Dragoon Guards, mount, L’homme noir, and addresses Le Comte d’Acier
To all Gentlemen of Paris, As you know, Lt. Colonel Jacques As the assembled ranks of the CPC. I hope you will forgive my harsh
Let it be known that His Excellency is holding a horse race during the 4th “Darlings, that beastly Colonel has words and confess that I have been
Lt-General Sir Sebastian de la Crème week of April. As a friendly bonus gone at last and I am proud to be here well answered. If your sword is half
wishes to throw a party to celebrate purse for members of the GDMD and today as your new Commanding as sharp as your pen, the enemy will
his appointment as Minister and his our brothers of the Dragoon Guards, I Officer. As from today we shall have a have to look out for themselves.
accompanying Knighthood. will award 300 crowns to the highest fresh regime and some important † UXB
He wishes to celebrate all month, but placing member of either regiment in changes to benefit us all, men.
does not wish to interfere with parties the coming race. Should it be myself, Firstly, it’s out with those drab old To: Colonel MacDonald
held by his social superiors. I shall donate the winnings to the uniforms and in with the new!” Commanding Officer, Royal North
Therefore, he will be celebrating all Church Orphanage. Lt-Col Gauchepied’er turns to speak Highland Border Regiment
month at the Fleur de Lys unless a Good Luck Brothers, keep your heels to a willowy ‘man’ in a bright orange Sweetheart,
social superior is throwing a party to down! dress and full make-up who has been I was so glad to hear from you in
which he is invited, in which case he † Jean Claude Talon/Gitchi Biizhew standing dutifully by, albeit with a reply to my little note about coming
shall be attending that instead. If in Maj., GDMD few winks at some of the more to join you all next month.
doubt, please do contact me, RSVPs athletic CPC troopers. I’m sure a bit of ‘May Madness’ won’t
will ensure that one is not Personal “Trissy darling, show the boys their go amiss, especially as you say that I
disappointed. new uniforms.” don’t even need to bring my own skirt
Anyone wishing to attend will be Major Jean Ettonique
At this Trissy, in turn, beckons as you have plenty of your own in the
welcome, please bring your ladies, Sir, you refused to stand down to a
towards a couple of other fellows, also stores for me to try on! I look forward
your good humour and zeal for a good superior officer when we courted the
in dresses, who run out with a barrow to seeing you darling and I’ll bring
time. same lady. As we are in different
full of bright pink tunics and what Trissy along for the ride, so to speak!
Vive la France, Vive la Roi! Regiments, I acknowledge your
can only be described as rather short, Love and kisses,
† Jean-Charles Regnard, Aide to His courage. As I wanted an
red, studded loincloths. An audible † Felix x x
Excellency Lt-General Sir Sebastian uninterrupted evening offering her
gasp can be heard from amongst the
de la Crème blandishments without your banging
ranks of the assembled troopers. Lord Percy Percy says, as fashion is
[OOC: all PCs of SL 8 or higher are on the doors and throwing things at
“Now, sweethearts, these cost me a tending towards the simple, Percy
invited along with their mistresses the windows, I arrested you. The cock
lot of money to have designed, so let’s Mistic has a fashionable outlook on
for 4 weeks of partying at the Fleur and bull story you published last
get them on as soon as possible and life.
de Lys. Please note that if another month is a little unworthy of you and
show Paris, and Prinny, the new look
character is throwing a party to the persecution complained about
CPC! Come along darlings, off with Praise the noble Earl for his
which I am invited, I’ll be going to was hardly fair. You had the best of
those drab old tops and bottoms and generosity and open-handed ways!
that instead, so please check out the meats and some fine wines from my
put on your new ones and when And why is he not in government?
other notifications before ordering cellars during your incarceration.
you’re all done I can inspect you all Taxes would be lower, women more
your attendance! If in doubt, send an † Cuckpowder
and our new honorary regimental beautiful, famine a thing of the past
in-character email and I’ll confirm.] surgeon here, Trissy, can give you all and good red wine on every table.
Lord Parcy Parcy says, as fashion is
a full medical check up to see that Hail Earl Was Nae Me and the
tending towards the voluptuous, the
you’re fighting fit.” virtuous (cough) Vera!
13th Fusiliers have fashionable
My name is Inigo Montoya. Does that † GASTON LE SOMME,
mistresses.
sound familiar? LT.COLONEL, ROYAL MARINES

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TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017 Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017

Points Arising Terence Cuckpowder declined to meet 'X2' (Foil, adv.) has cause with Xavier
Frele d'Acier as he was under half Four-Hollandaise (Rapier, Seconds
Next deadline is 10th Feb 2017 players of different games to swap Endurance. SdlC & FAG) as he's not Noble but
stories and ideas. Sign up and get higher SL.
As I wrote earlier in the magazine, Louis Oeuf Ur Terribles (with GlS &
talking at: http://games.groups.yahoo.
Joe Farrell, aka Jacques As, died SA2, gains 1 Exp) beat Leonard de Gaston le Somme (Cutlass, 3 rests)
suddenly just after Christmas. Joe com/group/EnGardePlayers/
Hofstadt. and Pepé Nicole (Rapier, adv.) have
was a great contributor to LPBS and Reminders: It is worth sending mutual cause for being enemies.
Percy Mistic (with BdZ & PC, gains 1
will be missed. orders in even if they’re a day or two
Exp) beat his enemy Xavier Money. Gaz Moutarde (Cutlass, Seconds GlS,
late: I may be able to action the
I hope Mark and Peter – his sons, I adv.) and Pepé Nicole (Rapier, 4
orders and should be able to use any Grudges to settle next month:
believe – will continue in LPBS, but it rests) have mutual cause for being in
press. It also reassures me you’re still
may take a while. 'X2' (Foil, 1 rests) has cause with enemy regiments.
there.
FdA (Peter Farrell) has been floated. Charles Louis Desapear (Rapier,
Balzac Slapdash (Sabre, 2 rests) has
Orders (and press) should be e-mailed adv.) as he's not Noble but higher SL.
X4 (Mark Nightingale) has been cause with Bernard de Lur-Saluces
to [email protected] – you’ll
Charles Louis Desapear (Rapier, (Rapier, Seconds LPN & FAG, adv.)
floated. get an automated reply when your
adv.) and Xavier Four-Hollandaise as he's not Noble but higher SL.
message arrives in my mailbox.
Notes (Rapier, Seconds SdlC & FAG, 1
Please give your name and your Bernard de Lur-Saluces (Rapier,
The En Garde! rules are available to character’s name and specify actions rests) have mutual cause as enemies. Seconds LPN & FAG, adv.) and
LPBS players at a reduced rate: see in full (since it’s without your Felix Anton Gauchepied'er (Dagger, Charles Louis Desapear (Rapier) have
any month’s Points Arising page at character sheet). If you want queries Seconds XFH, 4 rests) has cause with mutual cause for being enemies.
www.pevans.co.uk/LPBS. answered before the deadline, e-mail Claude Talon (Dagger, adv.) as he's
'X2' (Foil, 1 rests) has cause with
There’s a Yahoo! group for En Garde! [email protected] instead. not Noble but higher SL.
Bernard de Lur-Saluces (Rapier,
players that provides a forum for Florent Sans de Machine (Rapier, 4 Seconds LPN & FAG, adv.) as he's
rests) has cause with Claude Talon not Noble but higher SL.
Announcements (Dagger, adv.) as he's not Noble but
Balzac Slapdash (Sabre, 1 rests) has
Beau Reese Jean Seine asks NPC Felix Anton Gauchepied'er applies for higher SL.
cause with Charles Louis Desapear
Army Commander of Third Army to Commnr. of Public Safety
Claude Talon (Dagger, adv.) and (Rapier, adv.) as he's not Noble but
resign Jacques de Gain applies for Brigadier Percy Mistic (Sabre, Seconds BdZ & higher SL.
Etienne Brule applies for Commnr. of of Heavy Brigade PC, 3 rests) have mutual cause for
Balzac Slapdash (Sabre, 4 rests) has
Public Safety being in enemy regiments.
Louis Oeuf Ur Terribles applies for cause with Claude Talon (Dagger,
Etienne Brule applies for Minister of Brigade Major of 1st Foot Brigade 'X2' (Foil, 4 rests) has cause with adv.) as he's not Noble but higher SL.
Justice Claude Talon (Dagger, adv.) as he's
Balzac Slapdash (Sabre) has cause
not Noble but higher SL.
with Maurice Essai Deux (Rapier,
Duels 'X2' (Foil, 1 rests) has cause with adv.) as he's not Noble but higher SL.
Results of April’s duels Charles Louis Desapear (gains 1 Exp) Percy Mistic (Sabre, Seconds BdZ &
Balzac Slapdash (Sabre) has cause
beat his enemy Xavier Four- PC, adv.) as he's not Noble etc.
Claude Talon (gains 1 Exp) beat with Xavier Four-Hollandaise
Hollandaise (with FAG). Percy Mistic (Sabre, Seconds BdZ & (Rapier, Seconds SdlC & FAG) as he's
Florent Sans de Machine.
Terence Cuckpowder declined to meet PC, adv.) and Xavier Money (Sabre, 3 not Noble but higher SL.
Louis Oeuf Ur Terribles (with GlS &
Etienne Brule as he was under half rests) have mutual cause as enemies.
SA2, gains 1 Exp) beat Charles Louis Charles Louis Desapear (Rapier, 1
Endurance. rests) and Le Poutine Noir (Rapier,
Desapear.

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TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017 Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017

Seconds BdLS, adv.) have mutual “adv.” shows who (if anyone) has the Army Organisation and 1669’s Summer Deployment
cause for being in enemy regiments. advantage in Expertise: his first
duelling sequence need only contain First Army (Assault) BdZ/BRJS/N3/N
Duncan d'Eauneurts (Sabre, Seconds six actions. First Division (Assault) __/__/N6
WNM & MED, adv.) and Jean d'Ice 1st Foot Brigade (Assault) – RM PM
(Rapier, Seconds LdH, 3 rests) have Duels held over to June: 2nd Foot Brigade (Assault) – 13F 53F
mutual cause for being enemies. Florent Sans de Machine versus Jean 3rd Foot Brigade (Assault) – 27M 4A
Ettonique. Frontier Division (Assault) N2/N/N5
Jean d'Ice (Rapier, Seconds LdH) and Frontier Regiments (Assault)
Maurice Essai Deux (Rapier, adv.) Alan de Frocked versus Sacramento
have mutual cause for being enemies. d'Masses. Second Army (Field Ops) N4/AdF/N3/JdG
Cavalry Division (Field Ops) UXB/N/GlS
Louis Oeuf Ur Terribles (Cutlass, All duels (including any to be voted Horse Guards Brigade (Field Ops) – DG QOC
Seconds GlS & SA2) and Pepé Nicole on) must be fought next month unless Heavy Brigade (Field Ops) – ALC CPC
(Rapier, adv.) have mutual cause for held over because one of the duellists Dragoon Brigade (Field Ops) – GDMD PLLD
being in enemy regiments. is already at the Front. Orders
'X2' (Foil) has cause with Maurice conditional on a challenge being voted Third Army (Defence) N1/N/N5/EB
cause are acceptable. Guards Brigade (Defence) – RFG CG KM
Essai Deux (Rapier) as he's not Noble
but higher SL. Organisation and Deployment for the Campaign Season
with Army and Division posts (Commander/Aide/Adjutant/QMG)
New Characters Entries are ID for player characters, N (+MA if needed) for NPC, __ for vacant

None Brigade Positions

Tables Guards Brigade
Horse Guards Brigade
WNM/N/MED
N4/N/JE
First Foot Brigade
Second Foot Brigade
N2/N/__
BdLS/N/LPN
Other Appointments Heavy Brigade __/__/FAG Third Foot Brigade N3/N/N2
Dragoon Brigade N4/N/CT Fourth Foot Brigade N1/N/__
King’s Escort: Ensign N Captain N Current CO/Aide/Brigade Major of each Brigade; entries as Army table
Cardinal’s Escort: Ensign N Captain N
Aides: to Crown Prince N to Field Marshal __
Provincial Military Governors: RS/N/N/N/N Frontier Regiments
City Military Governor __ Adjutant-General SA2 (Siege for Mar-May)
Inspectors-General: of Cavalry N of Infantry N F1 F2 F3 F4 RNHB
Commissioner of Public Safety DdE (until March 1670)
Chancellor of the Exchequer __ Colonel N3 N4 N4 N4 N4
Minister of Justice __
Minister of War __ Attached 1 Bn CG RS
Minister of State PlS (until November 1669) JE
Shows who holds appointments outside military units:
ID for Characters, N for NPC, __ for vacant, CPS for additional posts held by the CPS. Also at the Front
Royal Foot Guards
Battle Results Queen's Own Carabiniers

Royal Foot Guards: 1 Frontier regiment 3: 3

Queen's Own Carabiniers: 4 Frontier regiment 4: 2 This table shows the Colonels of the Frontier regiments (N+MA for NPCs),
Frontier regiment 1: 3 RNHB regiment: 3 together with the volunteers assigned for the season.
Frontier regiment 2: 5

Page 35 Page 36
 5
2
6
9
4
1
8
3

25
15
24
13
50
39
34
49
41
32
19
59
57
56
53
43
38
33
20
63
40
31
28
17
12
45
30
27
26
16
11
62
48
21
10
52
55
42
35
54
64
No

Fifi
Name

Lucy Fur
Ella Fant
Katy Did

Ava Crisp
Vera Cruz

Pet Ulante

Betty Kant

Lois de Lô
Violet Bott
Ulla Leight
Sheila Kiwi

Sal Munella
Sue Briquet
Anne Tique
Jacky Tinne

Lotte Bottle

Jenny Russe

Mary Huana
Bess Ottede

Viv Ayschus
Di Lemmere
Deb Onairre
Kathy Pacific

Belle Epoque
Freda de Ath
Emma Roides
Leia Orgasma

Anna Rexique
Laura de Land
Frances Forrin

Ingrid la Suède
Edna Bucquette

Maggie Nifisent

Carole Singeurs

Ada Andabettoir
Ophelia Derrière
Helen Highwater

Marie Antoinette
Angelina de Griz
Henrietta Carrotte

May Banquot l'Idée

Femmes Fatales
TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017

5
5
6
Josephine Buonoparte 6
6
7
Thomasina Tancenjin 7
7
8
8
8
8
8
9
9
9
SL

10
10
10
10
10
10
11
11
11
11
11
12
12
12
Charlotte de Gaulle 12
12
Cath de Thousands 13
13
13
13
13
13
Alison Wunderlandt 14
14
14
14
Guinevere d'Arthur 15
16
16
16
Madelaine de Proust 17
17
18

I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I

B
B
B
B
B
B
B
B

W
W
W
W
W

B/I
B/I
B/I

I/W
I/W
B/W

B/I/W

EB
W PC

JdI

AL
X2
CT
B/W PlS

PM

CC

XM
I/W GlS

W GM

JTC
BdZ
SA2
XFH
B LdH

I/W UXB
Attr Last

CLD

CDL
SdM

SdlC
FSdM

B LOUT
appointment elsewhere.
blank for vacant. * shows the regiment adjutant; + shows ranks held by characters with a (senior) brevet rank or an
This table shows the ten senior positions in the 17 regiments by rank. Entries are Character abbreviations, N (+MA) for NPCs,
Capt 6
XM N4 Capt 5
N1* N3* N2* N6* N1* N5* N1* N1* N1* N5* N1 N5* N4 N2 N2 Capt 4
N2 N6 N2 N5 N1 N3 N2 N6 N1 N3 N4 N4 N2 N3 N5 N5 Capt 3
N1 N3 N1 N1 N5 N4 N6 N5 N4 N4 N1 N4* N5 N6 N6* N5* Capt 2
N5 N2 N1 N3 N2 N3 N3 N7 N6 N3 N1 N5 N1 N6* N3 N2 Capt 1
N2+ N6 AL N6 N5+ N1 N3 Maj 2
N6 N3 N4 N6+ LPN+ N6 N5 LOUT CT+ N1 MED+ JE+ N2* JdI BRJS Maj 1
N3 N5 N4 XFH JTC FAG+ GlS N6 PM FdA AdF JJ LCol
PN CLD BdLS+ BS GM CC CDL DdE EB TC LdH AdA Col
Gscn 69A 4A 27M 53F 13F PLLD CPC RM GDMD PM ALC KM DG QOC CG RFG
Regiments

Page 37
Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses

The Greasy Pole

Page 38
ID Name SL SPs Cash Rank, Regiment/Appointment MA Last seen Club EC Player
PC Count Pierre Cardigan 24- 34 Wlthy General/Min w/o Port 9 Edna Flr 5 Matt Shepherd
PlS Earl Pierre le Sang 24+ 73 Comfy Fld Marshal/State Min. 7 Guinevere Flr 4 Bill Howell
JdG Count Jacques de Gain 23 65 Flthy Bdr-General/2nd Army QM Gen. 20 Flr 6 Ben Brown
BdZ Earl Bill de Zmerchant 22 58 Comfy General/1st Army Commndr 6 Mary Flr 3 Tim Macaire
UXB Count Uther Xavier-Beauregard22 52 Wlthy B.Lt-General/Cav Div Commandr 14 Henrietta Flr 4 Pete Card
EB Baron Etienne Brule 19 55 Comfy B.Bdr-General DG/3rd Army QMG 2 Belle Flr 4 James McReynolds
Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses

FdA Earl Frele d'Acier 19 46 Comfy Lt.Colonel DG/Min w/o Port 9 Flr 3 Peter Farrell
RS Earl Richard Shapmes 19 F Wlthy Lt-General/Prov.Mil.Gov 12 Flr 4 Charles Popp
AdA Viscount Amant d'Au 19 F Rich B.Bdr-General RFG/Min w/o Port 8 Flr 5 David Brister
Last=Last lover seen with this month

JJ Earl Jean Jeanie 17 F Rich Lt.Colonel RFG/Min w/o Port 19 3 Andrew Kendall
DdE Sir Duncan d'Eauneurts 16 49 Comfy Colonel KM/CPS 5 Flr 5 Paul Lydiate
This table shows the mistresses in Paris.
B=Beautiful, I=Influential, W=Wealthy;

ROS Marquis Rick O'Shea 16 36 Rich Bdr-General/Chancellor 5 Both 6 Paul Wilson

TC Sir Terence Cuckpowder 16 F Wlthy B.Bdr-General QOC 4 4 Mike Dommett
SA2 Sir Sebastian Adis II 16+ 53 Comfy B.Lt-General/Adjutant Gen 5 Marie Both 4 Mark Cowper
WNM Earl Was Nae Me 15- 8 Wlthy Bdr-General/Gds Brigadier 8 Hunt 3 Mark Farrell
JA Sir Jacques As RIP Joe Farrell
GM Sir Gaz Moutarde 15 41 Rich B.Bdr-General RM 3 Anne Both 2 Mike Clibborn-Dyer
CC Sir Chopine Camus 15 25 Comfy B.Bdr-General GDMD 7 Sheila Both 4 Stewart Macintyre
SdlC Sir Sebastian de la Creme 15+ 70 Comfy B.Lt-General/Min w/o Port 4 Di Flr 5 Alan Percival
BRJS Sir Beau Reese Jean Seine 14 F Comfy Major RFG/Gen's Aide (1st Army) 4 Both 3 Bill Hay
JdI Sir Jean d'Ice 13+ 41 Comfy Major CG 5 Ava Both 3 Tym Norris
AdF Alan de Frocked 12 F Comfy Lt.Colonel CG/Gen's Aide (2 Army) 3 Both 2 Charles Burrows
JE Jean Ettonique 12 F Comfy Major DG/HGds Brigade Maj. 7 Both 5 Tony Hinton-West
CT Claude Talon 12+ 41 Wlthy Major GDMD/Drgn Brigade Maj. 4 Anna Hunt 4 Cameron Wood
PN Sir Pepé Nicole 11 32 Comfy B.Bdr-General 69A 7 BG 3 Colin Cowper
LdH Leonard de Hofstadt 11 29 Comfy B.Bdr-General CG 5 Frances Hunt 5 Neil Packer
TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017
TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017 Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses That would be enough TWJO 171 – Jan-Feb 2017

3 Gerald Udowiczenko
F&P 3 Pam Udowiczenko
4 Jason Fazackarley
That would be enough

F&P 5 Daniel Blanchette

2 Mark Nightingale
F&P 2 Marc Blanchette
4 Martin Jennings
Hunt 2 Francesca Weal
3 Graeme Wilson

Hunt 3 Graeme Morris

Cash: Poor = <500, OK = 500-1500, Comfy = 1500-5000, Wlthy = 5000-10000, Rich = 10000-25000, Flthy = 25000+
Hunt 2 Rob Pinkerton

F&P 5 Dave Marsden

5 Neil Pinkerton
4 Craig Pearson

F&P 4 Matthew Wale

Hunt 3 Jerry Spencer
Hunt 3 Olaf Schmidt
This has been issue 171 of To Win Just Once, published 22nd January 2017. It

F&P 3 Wayne Little

3 Ray Vahey

4 Nik Luker
incorporates Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses, a game of En Garde!. Issues are
published ten times a year, roughly every five weeks. © Paul Evans 2016
Club EC Player

Deadlines
Orders for Railway Rivals and Star Trader to Mike by Friday, 3rd Feb 2017.
BG

BG

BG

BG

BG

RP
RP
Orders for LPBS, votes and definitions for Fictionary Dictionary and all other
2 Josephine
MA Last seen

3 Charlotte
contributions to Pevans by Friday, 10th February 2017.

EC is Endurance Class: 1 = <60, 2 = 60-90, 3 = 91-120, 4 = 121-159, 5 = 160-200, 6 = 201+

5 Violet

2 Jenny
5 Betty
7 Lotte

(Next deadlines are: 10th/17th March, 14th/21st April, 19th/26th May)

4 Lucy
2 Bess
5 Leia

3 Lois
5 Ada

2 Sue

An F under SPs means that the character was at the Front, RIP means that he died.
Waiting lists
4

10+ 43 Comfy B.Bdr-General 13F/2 F Brigadier 5

8+ 52 Comfy Lt.Colonel CPC/Hvy Brigade Maj. 5

5
1
En Garde! new players are always welcome in Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses. You
10+ 37 Comfy Lt.Colonel RM/Cav Div Adjutant
SL SPs Cash Rank, Regiment/Appointment

will need the rules to En Garde! in order to play: www.engarde.co.uk

11+ 51 Comfy Major KM/Gds Brigade Maj.

Major 13F/2 F Brigade Maj. Railway Rivals – the latest game has just started. Who’s up for the next one?
Working map and rules provided.

+ against SL means it went up this month, - means it went down.

10+ 51 Comfy B.Bdr-General 27M

Star Trader – There’s room for 1-2 more players in the current game (David
11 20 Comfy B.Bdr-General PM

Last seen is the lady the character was last seen with in public.
Buchholz and Jason Fazackarley are waiting for the next one). Rules provided.
Lt.Colonel PLLD
9+ 45 Comfy Lt.Colonel ALC

8+ 47 Comfy Captain GDMD

11+ 45 Comfy Lt.Colonel 13F

7+ 30 Comfy Subaltern DG

Colonel PLLD

Online games
Major PLLD
Major RM

A Few Acres of Snow (at yucata.de): Pevans

Agricola (at www.boiteajeux.net): Pevans, Alex Everard
Castles of Burgundy (at www.yucata.de): Pevans
Concordia (at www.boiteajeux.net): Pevans
8+ 26 Comfy
9+ 36 Poor

4 0 Poor

Keyflower (at www.boardgamearena.com): Pevans, Brad Martin

10 27 OK

7+ 45 OK

6+ 50 OK
6+ 38 OK
6+ 35 OK
5+ 56 OK
5+ 48 OK

Puerto Rico (at www.boardgamearena.com): Pevans, Brad Martin, Al Tabor

Through the Ages (at www.boardgaming-online.com or boardgamearena.com)
Vinci (at www.yucata.de): Pevans

Credits
Felix Anton Gauchepied'er

Florent Sans de Machine

To Win Just Once issue 171 was written and edited by Pevans. The LPBS
Xavier Four-Hollandaise

Jean Tétreault-Cauchon
Charles Louis Desapear
Bernard de Lur-Saluces

Louis Oeuf Ur Terribles

masthead (page 22) is by Lee Brimmicombe-Wood, as are the drawings on pages

Sacramento d'Masses
Maurice Essai Deux

18, 23, 24, 27 and 28. Game and book artwork is courtesy of the publisher. Photos
Sir Coeur De Lion

Gaston le Somme

Annibal Lechiffre
Balzac Slapdash

were taken by Pevans (except where noted), who played with Photoshop.
Le Poutine Noir
Inigo Montoya

Xavier Money

Henri Dubois
Percy Mistic

Printed and published by Margam Evans Limited

(A company registered in England and Wales, number 05152842,
Registered office: 180 Aylsham Drive, Uxbridge UB10 8UF)
Name

Tel: 020 7183 6256, E-mail: [email protected], Web: www.pevans.co.uk/TWJO

LOUT
FSdM
BdLS
MED

SdM
CDL

CLD

FAG
XFH

LPN
JTC
GlS

HD
XM
PM

X2

X4
AL
IM

BS
ID

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