Strong Fences

Strong Fences
by Teodor Mihalcea
“Daddy…do we move away?”

“Huh? What do you mean son?”
“Do we sell this house? And move away?”
“No son, we won’t move away. We’ll stay here, for now… Come, come here.”
Danny hesitates a little, but starts walking to dad. Dad doesn’t bother for much
than a head pat, not even his eyes he doesn’t move in his direction. He’s just looking
blindly at the food and eating on autopilot.
“Now go out and play with that fat kid, Prat.”
“It’s Matt, daddy.”
“Matt, whatever, go out and play with him.”
“Ok.”
And my little brother dashes out like nothing happened, as if he doesn’t have
one care in the world. I want that…but I care…
“You, go too, go to your room or something…out with your friends.”
“Dad. I’m not a child anymore, tell me, how hard is…”
“Shut up, and leave me eat in peace.”
“You can’t wave me off too like I’m a 10 years old snot, tell me…”
“Listen to…”
“No. Tell me how bad it is. Tell me…”
“List…”
“Tell me how I can he…!”
“Goddamn it! Can you let me eat my food in peace? I get one moment of respire
on a good day, of quietness and stillness, and it’s when I eat, if I even get to eat that
day, so would you, please, let me eat?!”
“Ugh!”
She leaves in a hurry, smashing doors behind, showing how much angry she is.
Kids these days, they have no patience, she wants to help, but she doesn’t
understand, there are moments when you just wait, brace, sacrifice and rebuild.
Sometimes, you can’t swim against the current, it’s too strong, but I hope he knows
this.
“Honey…”
“Mmm…”
He has two more bites, I’ll let him finish first, he knows this and doesn’t inquire
about my thought, just finishes eating.
“How bad is it?”
He wipes his mouth and smacks his lips, then swallows emptily. He looks me
in the eyes. For the first time in my life, I read worry.
“It’s bad. I don’t think I can take us afloat again. The company is just plunging
deeper and deeper.”
“You’ve done it before, as you love to say it, you always swim against the
current faster than when the current pushes you from behind. We’ll get through this.”
“This isn’t a current. I’m not swimming above the water, I’m swimming deep
down, trying to get to the surface, with a company tied to me. And it’s so deep down,
the sharks here are monsters compared to the ones at the surface. I’m bleeding out
and I’m attacked by sharks, and pulled down by the company and…and…and I’m
out of breath. I won’t reach the surface if I keep myself tied to the company, and if
I don’t reach the surface, I’m dead, we’re all dead.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know… I’m going to cut the weight off, and try to make it to the
surface.”
Never seen worry on his face, weakness, exhaustion, confusion. He really is in
waters he’s never been before. Bleeding.
“We’re going to survive, don’t worry. I know you, I trust you more than
myself… I love you.”
“I love you.”
“Danny, come over here.”

“Yes mister Richie.”
“Please, call me Rich. Now, tell me, what’s your father doing?”
“Alright…?”
“Alright. Good, good. Listen, Matt isn’t going to play with you anymore, a
storm is coming, so you better hurry back home. And Danny, when you see your
father, tell him this. Even if the deep dark waters are calm, up on the surface, awaits
a storm that will hail destruction. I tried to give him a heads up, a lifeline even, but
he refused out of pride, now the storm will take all of his. Now RUN!!!”
I’m scared. Daddy is going to be taken away by the storm. I have to tell him
fast. I’m out of their huge house and sprinting towards ours. The yards are so big,
the distance between the two houses is so big, I don’t think I’ll make it in time. The
sky is already dark and ready to break. Everybody else is building fences, big, solid
fences. I can barely see the houses behind these fences. They are all preparing for it,
for the storm. They’re helping each other build, lending each other money and giving
each other a hand. Everywhere I look I see defences…
And our house, fenceless. But one side, there’s a fence between our yard and
our neighbours’. They raised it. But sadly, our house is the last one of the row. A
drop falls on my nose, followed quickly by another on my hand. I run inside the
house, yelling.
“Daddy! Daddy!”
“What?!”
He snaps at me. I’m scared. He’s looking really awful. Rage emanating out of
his pores.
“A storm is coming, mister Rich said is…”
“I know. Go and grab your sister and come here quickly!”
“But dad, we must build fences.”
“There is no time, and even if there was, there are no resources left for us. We
can’t build fences, and no one is going to help us, we can only brace.”
I run to my sister’s room, I meet her halfway, grab her hand and bring her to
the living room.
“Go on kids! Grab something, grab the pillars! They’re built to last.”
So silent. As if the storm is no more. But I’m so afraid. I trust daddy to protect
us, but this time I don’t feel safe with him. I see him scared, for the first time, he
doesn’t know what to do. A loud noise of rupture breaks the deafening silence, and
water floods in brutally.
I try to brace myself, hold the pillar tight, but it’s not strong enough, it breaks
and with its debris, I’m too taken by the water.
“Danny!”
“Daddy!”
I jump into the water and start swimming towards my son. First aided by the
current, I get to him in no time, but as I grab him, I change course and push, as hard
as I can, against the current. It’s…it seems impossible, but I can’t give up. I gather
even more strength than I thought I’d have and start advancing back towards the
pillar I was holding.
With Danny on my back, and the freezing, unnaturally overpowered, water
pushing me in the face, I plough through. I never swam against one like this in my
life. It feels…so hard, even harder than what I ever faced, so pointless and ineffective
and with no seeming rewards ahead of me. It’s like pushing against the current for
no reason, none other than family. There is no success at the end of this battle, if I
can even win it.
But with all my being, I get to the pillar, hold it like more than my life depends
on it, and wait. Wait this fruitless exhaustion and empty endeavour to end. The
current slows down. The water dissipates. We all lay down on the floor, soaked,
tired, hurt. But we survived. The storm is gone, but left behind…
Danny gets up and hugs me, it’s warm, and the coldness the water left behind
is now gone too. We all hug. I get up and walk out, into the yard and towards the tall
fence of my neighbour. I hear the lawnmower running. I guess the grass is greener
on the other side, not muddy like here. But…
But for the first time in my life, after beating a current, I’m left not with a
feeling of accomplishment, but a feeling of love, and happiness. All my life I’ve
been chasing the current of wealth and success. I worked…I swam against that
current, but I barely dipped my toes in the current of my family…and I wish I did. I
know I couldn’t have done both, be both successful and present in my family, I just
wish I’ve tried before, swimming against this current and discovering it.
One cannot swim against two currents, one can only swim against one, so one
has to be chosen. Both are hard, both are…somewhat rewarding, but one is
fulfilment and the other is happiness, and despite this, they look so similar, and give
similar feelings. If one does not try both, can never discover they exist, and are so
different. If one does not swim against both currents, at least once in their life, but
not at the same time, one might be confused which is which. One might confuse
fulfilment with love and success with happiness.
Swimming to get Danny out of danger, riding against that current and beating
it, together with my family…gave me something else. I’ve worked all my life, I was
always rewarded for it, always feeling fulfilled. But never happy. Swimming
towards family gave me happiness in the most stormy of times. That’s the current I
choose to swim against from now on.
THE END

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Strong Fences

“Daddy…do we move away?”

“Danny, come over here.”

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