The Family Journal: Counseling and

Therapy for Couples and Families

Gender Dynamics and Role Adjustment During 17(4) 323-328
ª The Author(s) 2009
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the Transition to Parenthood: Current sagepub.com/journalsPermissions.nav
DOI: 10.1177/1066480709347360
Perspectives http://tfj.sagepub.com

Julie M. Koivunen,1 Jeanne W. Rothaupt,2 and Susan M. Wolfgram2

Abstract
This review of recent literature addresses the issues of marital change across the transition to parenthood, the process of
redefining gender roles, the division of labor in the family, striving for equally shared parenting, and the struggle to maintain
egalitarianism after the birth of a child. Furthermore, this article also provides practice-related implications for practitioners,
an inclusive term that includes family life educators, couple and family counselors and therapists, social workers, family service
agency personnel, home health aides, and others working with couples and families.

Keywords
transition to parenthood, gender dynamics, gender roles, parenthood

Introduction To address the gender issues that affect marital satisfaction

during the transition to parenthood and issues related to egali-
Couples who value and strive for egalitarian relationships are
tarianism, three topics will be addressed: the division of labor,
often faced with a new challenge upon the birth of their first
men’s involvement with parenting, and marital interaction.
child. Researchers document that despite the best of intentions,
heterosexual couples often fall into more traditional gender
roles after they become parents (Belsky & Kelly, 1994;
Deutsch, 1999; Nomaguchi & Milkie, 2003). The purpose of Division of Labor
this article is to review the literature regarding the transition Despite women’s increasing involvement in work outside of
to parenthood, focusing on issues that affect marital satisfac- the home, they continue to perform the majority of household
tion after the birth of a child for those couples who strive to tasks (Artis & Pavalko, 2003; Craig, 2006; Greenstein, 1996;
attain egalitarian relationships. The division of labor, increases Hochschild, 1989; Perkins & DeMeis, 1996; Perry-Jenkins &
in men’s involvement, marital interaction, and the role of pub- Folk, 1994; Twenge, Campbell, & Foster, 2003). Researchers
lic policy will be discussed. Finally, implications for counse- have found that an ongoing, continuous unequal distribution
lors and future research directions are offered. of work and power in the relationship may lead to decreased
levels of marital satisfaction (Frisco & Williams, 2003; Good-
win, 2003; Rabin, 1996). The challenges related to the transi-
Changes in Marital Satisfaction After the tion to parenthood may be especially problematic for women
Birth of a Child because often there is an unequal distribution of work and
women bear the burden of increasing household responsibil-
Research indicates that for many couples, marital satisfaction
ities, which in turn may lead to decreased levels of relational
decreases after the birth of a child (Belsky & Kelly, 1994; Crawford
satisfaction. Researchers have also found that even in
& Unger, 2000; Lawrence, Rothman, Cobb, Rothman, &
Bradbury, 2008; Veroff, Young, & Coon, 1997). Crawford and
Unger (2000) explained that most studies of marital satisfaction 1
Institute for Families, Center on Violence against Women & Children,
report an initial ‘‘honeymoon period’’ followed by reported Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey
2
diminished happiness after the first child is born, with the lowest Department of Human Development and Family Studies, University of
reported marital happiness occurring when children reach Wisconsin-Stout, Menomonie, Wisconsin
school age or adolescence. Veroff et al. (1997) reported similar
Corresponding Author:
findings and suggested that one reason for the decrease in Julie M. Koivunen, Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey, 100
marital satisfaction was due to the increased work and responsi- Joyce Kilmer Avenue, Building 4161, Room #257, Piscataway, NJ 08854.
bility that is associated with having children. Email: [email protected]

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324 The Family Journal: Counseling and Therapy for Couples and Families 17(4)

‘‘nontraditional’’ marriages, women do more childcare than responsibilities in the home (Craig, 2006; Deutsch, 1999; Feeney,
their husbands (Veroff et al., 1997). Hohaus, Noller, & Alexander, 2001; Hochschild, 1989), as well
Societal and economic changes have led to a dramatic increase as provide the majority of the care work and emotional work in
in women’s employment during the last several decades (Thorn- families (Erickson, 2005). In addition to perception of work dif-
ton & Young-DeMarco, 2001). As women gain additional ferences, a significant division of labor in the home is related to
resources and provide income for their families, there is also a decreased marital quality over time (Lavee & Katz, 2002).
greater expectation for more equality in the division of labor in
childcare and household responsibilities (Apparala, Reifman, &
Striving for Equally Shared Parenting:
Munsch, 2003). Baxter, Hewitt, and Haynes (2008) found that
women often spend more time on housework compared to men,
Increases in Men’s Involvement
regardless of their marital or parenthood status. Recent research has responded to the increasing interest in
The division of household and family labor often changes men’s involvement in parenting. In their study on the effects
greatly after the birth of a child. This inequity becomes greater, of an intervention program to increase father involvement
more evident, and more problematic after children enter the during the transition to parenthood, Hawkins, Lovejoy,
family structure. Craig (2006) studied a comparison of how Holmes, Blanchard, and Fawcett (2008) found that those men
mothers and fathers in intact families spend their time with who participated in an educational program on strengthening
children and found that, ‘‘compared to fathering, mothering couple relationships also increased their involvement in their
involves not only more overall time commitment but more child’s care. Doherty, Erickson, and LaRossa (2006) found that
multitasking, more physical labor, a more rigid timetable, more groups for couples that are theoretically based can improve
time alone with children, and more overall responsibility for men’s skills and involvement with their infants. In their
managing care. These gender differences in the quantity and research on the efficacy of an intervention designed to increase
nature of care apply even when women work full-time’’ father involvement, they found that father’s participation in
(p. 259). Thus, inequality escalates as women are often respon- programs that are informed by empirical literature affected the
sible for a significant increase in household work and childcare, men’s parenting behavior favorably by helping them become
which translates into even more ongoing, physical work upon more intentional about the time spent with their children, as
the birth of a child. well as increasing their interactional skills. In their study on the
Cowan and Cowan (2000) noted various factors that inhibit effects on marriage of a psychocommunicative-educational
men’s participation in family work and include few role models intervention for couples, Shapiro and Gottman (2005) found
of men’s participation in family work, the economics of the that couples who participated in the group experienced more
workplace, and issues related to the inadequacy of parental positive results with regard to marital well-being and quality.
leave in the United States. Interestingly, current research is These studies indicate that participation in psychoeducational
exploring the extent to which the gender roles in one’s family programs and groups may be beneficial for couples as they
of origin influence couples in their current marital relation- experience the transition to parenthood and may help with
ships. Gupta (2006) found that ‘‘married and cohabiting men factors related to marital satisfaction and gender issues as they
exposed to maternal employment during childhood spent more pertain to parenting and the division of labor.
time on housework as adults than did other men’’ (p. 60). In her book, Halving it all: How equally shared parenting
Thompson (1991) addressed the issue of household labor works, Deutsch (1999) describes her study in which she sought
and suggested that it is important to consider how women feel to understand equal parenting from groups of couples. The def-
about family work. She found that what women valued most inition of equality that was used for the study included a couple
was having ‘‘down time,’’ being able to avoid tasks that they being described as ‘‘equal sharers’’ if they agreed that the care
dislike and perceiving that their partners are responsive and of the children (in a typical week) was split 50-50 between each
attentive to their needs. She noted the importance of women spouse. The issue of housework, while related to childcare, was
feeling appreciation from their husbands, and many women not explicitly part of her definition. Deutsch (1999) stated that
reported that they would like their husbands to acknowledge although she did not specifically ask about the division of
the significance of the contribution that they make to the house- household tasks, there is an overlap between housework and
hold in doing this work. Thus, it seems that it is important not childcare, such as preparing meals for children, care of cloth-
only for men to assist with household tasks but also to acknowl- ing, and picking up toys. Second, she addressed the issue of
edge and vocalize their appreciation of their wife’s work. These men’s work hours and how this influences equality. She found
issues may present a challenge because research suggests that that in approximately three fourths of the ‘‘unequal’’ couples in
men and women have very different perceptions about what the study, women worked more hours than their husbands did
each person contributes in terms of household work (Lee & when paid work and household work were considered together.
Waite, 2005). It may feel incongruent to a husband to express She noted that in this type of ‘‘separate but equal’’ arrange-
appreciation to his wife if he perceives the workload as even. ment, women have less input in making the important,
This is potentially very problematic. The research indicates that significant decisions in the family, have poorer mental health,
despite a woman’s participation in the paid workforce, she is and are more financially vulnerable than their husbands in
still more likely to assume a greater share of work and incidences of divorce. Thus, she argued that both men and

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Koivunen et al. 325

women lose when they split paid work and parenthood along Singley and Hynes (2005) explored the interaction between
gendered lines. gender roles, work-family policies, and the marital dyad and
The findings of her study indicate that those women who found that after the transition to parenthood, ‘‘women used and
were in an ‘‘equal sharing’’ marriage were found to be more created more flexibility in their work arrangements than their
confident and self-assured. Additionally, women in these husbands, often reducing their husbands’ need to use available
more egalitarian marriages generally set clear expectations work-family policies’’ (p. 376). Bygren and Duvander (2006)
from the beginning of their marriages that their husbands were documented the importance of work-related policies for
to be equal partners in family tasks, including parenting and fathers’ use of parental leave. Their study explored the influ-
household chores. ence of both parents’ workplace environments and their effect
on parental leave use. Their findings indicated that father’s use
of parental leave is influenced by the characteristics of their
Marital Interaction and the Transition to workplace, and that those who work in male-dominated atmo-
Parenthood spheres, small workplaces, and in the private sector were less
likely to use parental leave. Other family-friendly workplace
A study entitled Marital Perceptions and Interactions Across
policies such as longer maternity leave have been found to pro-
the Transition to Parenthood by Cox, Paley, Burchinal, and
vide women with a greater ‘‘opportunity to cope with the
Payne (1999) addressed the impact of the first child’s birth
demands of a new baby and then manage the combination of
on the marriage, and studied couples before the birth of the
motherhood and employment’’ (Hyde, Essex, Clark, & Klein,
child, as well as at 3, 12, and 24 months after the birth of the 2001, p. 478). These authors suggest that a longer maternity
new baby. The researchers included 136 couples in the study,
leave may have a favorable impact on women’s well-being
most of whom were in their first marriage, and none of whom
as well as marital satisfaction upon the birth of a child. These
had previous children. The results of their study indicated that
policy-related issues are important to consider, in that they
due to additional stresses and challenges, the incidence of
have implications for egalitarian, role-sharing couples and
depression may increase. In addition, the results indicated that
gender role issues during the transition to parenthood.
dissatisfaction for the couples peaked approximately 1 year
after the child’s birth, and that the more the individual was
depressed, the more their marital satisfaction dropped during
the 1st year after the child’s birth. Implications for Counselors
The results also indicated that greater marital satisfaction
Research indicates that the transition to parenthood is often a
was reported in couples who had stronger prenatal problem-
stressful time for couples as they face the inevitable changes
solving abilities (Cox et al., 1999). The researchers found that
that occur in marriage and the issue of changing gender roles
couples were more likely to have higher marital satisfaction if
in the family. It is often difficult to conceptualize and quantify
the husband was skillful in problem-solving capabilities. In
the tremendous adjustments one may experience as they move
addition, the researchers observed that men’s interpersonal
from being childless to having their first child. Often a time of
skills were very important to marital well-being, and that when challenges and negotiating gender roles, it may also be one of
husbands are skillful in ‘‘attending’’ to the relationship, it
joy and happiness for the couple as they look forward to the
relieves their wives of having to do an unequal amount of the
creation of a new family and the growth and development of
emotional work. Thus, this study emphasized the importance
their child. Twenty years ago, Palkovitz (1988) encapsulated
of effective couple communication in having positive
this challenge in explaining that the birth of a couple’s first
problem-solving and interpersonal skills.
child ‘‘catapults people into an irreversible trajectory different
from and experientially distinct from childlessness . . . in some
ways, the research literature falls far short of capturing the
Public Policy Implications intensity, duration and pervasiveness of the transition’’ (p. 4).
If couples want to work equally in the care of their child and the Much has been added to the literature since then, but the stres-
additional work surrounding this event, appropriate family- ses and challenges that couples experience continue to affect
friendly policies in the workplace could contribute to a more relationship quality for many current couples. Although the
equitable division of labor. Deutsch (1999) described various existing literature addresses the extent to which couples’ mar-
factors that often contribute to decreases in father involvement. ital satisfaction is influenced by the birth of a child, and the
She suggests that while many men would like to be more subsequent division of labor, other aspects of this phenomenon
involved in their children’s lives, they are frequently inhibited have not yet received as much attention.
by family-unfriendly workplaces. She argues that oftentimes, Assisting couples with life transitions is widespread for fam-
women’s workplaces are more aware or more understanding ily service practitioners. Couple and family therapists and
of mothers wanting to take time to be with their children, counselors who work within a systemic framework are
whereas men are usually given less leeway at work, because the uniquely equipped to assist couples as they transition to parent-
expectation by the employer is that his wife or another person is hood (Glade, Bean, & Vira, 2005). Those who work with cou-
responsible for childcare. ples experiencing the transition to parenthood may consider the

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326 The Family Journal: Counseling and Therapy for Couples and Families 17(4)

following implications as they work to help them navigate this their infants. The approaches used in these groups included
new journey. group discussion, brief lectures, the use of appropriate video
tapes, and various role-playing exercises (Doherty et al.,
Nurture Constructive Communication Patterns 2006). Another study suggests that men who participated in
an educational program on strengthening couple relationships
As discussed by Kluwer, Heesink, and Van De Vliert (1997), in also increased their involvement in their child’s care (Hawkins
their study on marital dynamics, it was found that as women et al., 2008). Specifically, researchers used a program entitled
experience an unequal distribution of household work, conflict Marriage Moments, a marital enhancement program using
may ensue and may often include the typical demand/withdraw videos and guidebooks to assist couples with their relationship
interactional pattern that exists in many marital dyads. The across the transition to parenthood (Hawkins et al., 2008).
authors suggest that couples develop more constructive com- Other research suggests that couples who participated in a
munication patterns, including mutual understanding and psychocommunicative-educational group experienced more
problem-solving behaviors, which may help to satisfy both positive results with regard to marital well-being and quality.
partners. Counselors and therapists could focus their work on Developed by John Gottman, the Bringing Home Baby work-
helping couples who are experiencing the transition to shop includes methods such as lectures, role plays, videotapes,
parenthood further develop and improve upon their existing and communication exercises for the couple designed to help
communication patterns. promote positivity in their relationship, foster and enhance
Lawrence, Nylen, and Cobb (2007) also underscore the their friendship and partnership, and assist in managing conflict
importance of communication and note that the findings from (Shapiro & Gottman, 2005).
their study on the transition to parenthood and prenatal expec- The results of these studies suggest that increasing one’s
tations and outcomes suggest that those working with couples participation in psychoeducational groups and programs may
encourage communication between spouses about their own help couples with issues related to marital satisfaction and the
expectations for parenthood. division of child care. Thus, counselors, therapists, and family
service providers, who work with couples may consider the
Awareness of Possible Shifts in Power benefit of conducting psychoeducational groups and programs,
in an effort to provide assistance through this transition, specif-
In one approach, those who are sensitive to issues of gender
ically as it relates to marital well-being and men’s participation
might consider exploring various aspects of the familial unit
in child care.
including power differentials, hierarchy within the spousal
dyad, traditional sex roles, and gendered communication pat-
terns. Schneider (1990) suggests, ‘‘a crucial dimension of this Manage Affect and Maintain Emotional Intimacy
approach is the need for gender sensitivity to be applied not
Family service providers who work with couples could facilitate
only through major interventions during clinical work, but in
discussions regarding expectations for appropriate roles, emo-
every interaction with the family’’ (p. 118). Practitioners are
tional expressiveness, and decision making, as well as the rede-
advised to consider the importance of analyzing boundaries and
finition of gender roles and expectations within the marriage.
subsystems in the family, as well as familial rules in the context
Practitioners might also consider addressing other aspects of inti-
of power and hierarchy.
macy in the marriage and help couples understand patterns of
interpersonal interaction and the ways in which they change over
Renegotiate Roles time in a relationship. In exploring couples’ experiences with the
Researchers also suggest that the extent to which couples strive transition to parenthood, issues such as unmet intimacy needs
to have a more egalitarian perspective and distribution of may become problematic as individuals have less time to devote
household work may contribute to increased marital satisfac- to their spouse due to the increasing demands of parenting
tion for women. They note that in addition to decreasing role (Kirby, Baucom, & Peterman, 2005).
overload for women, a more equitable approach reduces
resentment and frustration surrounding disproportionate
responsibilities and work (Twenge et al., 2003). Furthermore, Future Directions
an examination of gender dynamics in marriage and the extent
to which each spouse endorses more traditional attitudes about The existing literature on the transition to parenthood and gen-
parental responsibilities may help couples in negotiating roles der dynamics in marriage has a considerable focus on issues
around the transition to parenthood (Synder, Velasquez, & that address marital satisfaction and the division of labor. This
Clark, 1997). review examines the gap in the literature related to various fac-
tors that couples experience during the transition to parent-
hood; the changing dynamics new parents experience
Support Efforts to Increase Father Involvement regarding couple satisfaction, marital interaction, and the pro-
Research indicates that theoretically based groups for couples cess of striving for equality; and shared parenting after the birth
have been found to improve men’s skills and involvement with of a child. This is unique to the literature in that it also includes

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Koivunen et al. 327

implications for counselors and practitioners who work with Cox, M. J., Paley, B., Burchinal, M., & Payne, C. C. (1999). Marital
couples experiencing this transition. perceptions and interactions across the transition to parenthood.
Additional investigation into diverse family structures and Journal of Marriage and Family, 61, 611-625.
forms could expand the existing knowledge in the field on cou- Craig, L. (2006). Does father care mean fathers share? A comparison
ples transitioning to parenthood. Future research in this area of how mothers and fathers in intact families spend time with
could benefit from the study of cultural diversity, issues of pov- children. Gender & Society, 20, 259-281.
erty, and economic factors as they relate to couple’s experi- Crawford, M., & Unger, R. (2000). Women and gender: A feminist
ences, as well as gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered psychology. (3rd ed.) Boston: McGraw Hill.
people’s experiences with the transition to parenthood. Deutsch, F. M. (1999). Halving it all: How equally shared parenting
In addition, future research on the issue of gender dynamics works. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
and the transition to parenthood might explore the importance Doherty, W. J., Erickson, M. F., & LaRossa, R. (2006). An intervention to
of social and societal supports that could contribute to alleviating increase father involvement and skills with infants during the transi-
some of the experiences with decreased marital satisfaction after tion to parenthood. Journal of Family Psychology, 20, 438-447.
the birth of a child. Among those couples who seek to participate Erickson, R. J. (2005). Why emotion work matters: Sex, gender, and
equally in the care of their child and the additional work sur- the division of household labor. Journal of Marriage and Family,
rounding this event, appropriate family-friendly policies in the 67, 337-351.
workplace could contribute to a more equitable division of labor. Feeney, J. A., Hohaus, L., Noller, P., & Alexander, R. P. (2001).
In conclusion, this review of recent literature on gender Becoming parents: Exploring the bonds between mothers, fathers,
dynamics and the transition to parenthood reveals the complex and their infants. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.
ways in which gender roles and couples’ interpersonal dynamics Frisco, M. L., & Williams, K. (2003). Perceived housework equity,
interact and subsequently influence couples as they experience marital happiness, and divorce in dual-earner households. Journal
the birth of a child. While the current literature addresses issues of Family Issues, 24, 51-73.
around the division of labor and communication processes, there Glade, A., Bean, R., & Vira, R. (2005). A prime time for Marital/
is a need to further examine other issues that affect the marital Relational Intervention: A review of the transition to parenthood
relationship across the transition to parenthood. literature with treatment recommendations. American Journal of
Family Therapy, 33, 319-336.
Goodwin, P. Y. (2003). African American and European American
Declaration of Conflicting Interests
women’s marital well-being. Journal of Marriage and Family,
The authors declared no potential conflicts of interests with respect to 65, 550-560.
the authorship and/or publication of this article. Greenstein, T. (1996). Husbands’ participation in domestic labor:
Interactive effects of wives’ and husbands’ gender ideologies.
Funding Journal of Marriage and Family, 58, 585-595.
The authors received no financial support for the research and/or Gupta, S. (2006). The consequences of maternal employment during
authorship of this article. men’s childhood for their adult housework performance. Gender
& Society, 20, 60-86.
Hawkins, A. J., Lovejoy, K. R., Holmes, E. K., Blanchard, V. L., &
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