MA Program in Peace Studies, Innsbruck University

THE CHAOTIC THREAD OF MY LIFE

Course Paper Modular Period I

Written by Adrin Carrillo Gmez (Group A)

Submitted to: Daniela Ingruber
20/05/2016

Table of contents:
Introduction....1
Chapter 1: Introducing the chaotic thread of my life 1
1.1- Friendly Chaos...2
1.2- Aggressive Chaos..3
1.3.- Relational Chaos...4
1.4.- Recovering my space and my time...5
Chapter 2: My Self6
2.1.- Platos body..6
2.2.- Meaningful bodies7
2.3.- Chaos into the interpretation of the Self...9
2.4.- Recovering my question...10
Chapter 3: My world....10
1.- The origin of cosmos: chaos11
2.- Mother Tongue....12
3.- Misunderstanding England..14
4.- Recovering my body......15
Chapter 4: My community.....16
1.- Culture.16
2.1.- Culture against Nature..17
2.2.- Culture against itself: counterculture...18
3.- Chaotic Spain: goat herders....18
4.- Recovering my world.....20
Chapter 5: My virtue.......20
1.1.- The state of nature...21
1.2.-The state of war....22

2.1.- Democratic chaos....24

2.2.- Civil participation24
3.- What Mexico taught me.25
4.- Recovering my community26
Chapter 6: The chaotic thread of my life26

This is a photo I took of the scheme that this essay follows.

Introduction
My life has an underlying connection with chaos that sometimes is transgressive, while other times
it constitutes the inflexion point of different layers of myself, different plans of life; sometimes it is
a shout while other times it is a warm silence; sometimes it is destructive, while other times it
involves great values. In other words, chaos is a Foucault pendulum, it moves constantly making
an apparent line while my life is passing away, so the pendulum never gets the same point with the
same intensity, it is forming an endless movement that will stop when the chaotic thread of my life,
2

the same thread that keeps the pendulum moving, gets cut by my (Moirai) .
In the next pages, I will try to expose this chaotic thread of my life, trying to draw its pendulous
movement. But also, I will be in the same situation as you, my reader, pretending that I do not know
myself, or this history that others call Adrin. Thus, I will need to find the place and the time to
meet myself in order to recover me, piece by piece like in a puzzle. In order to accomplish this
difficult task, I will focus on some of its layers such as language, culture, spirituality, politics, as if I
would be taking pictures of my chaos, like trying to freeze the sun. Also, this pendulum will move,
as I did in my life, from Spain to Mexico, and from Mexico to Spain; from my youth to my present
life, and from here to my memories. Hence, one cannot separate this reflection from its geography
nor its history, and even less from its readers that have added its colour, smell, texture, temperature,
so forth. You, my reader, should not forget about yourself while reading me to not get lost in my
pendulous history to meet each other just at the end of this tale.

Chapter 1: Introducing the chaotic thread of my life

In this first chapter I will introduce the short tale of my life. This time, like in a meeting where
many people get in touch for the very first time, I will look for those words which are required for
that sort of introduction; i.e., ask the most important question: who are you? At the same time, I
feel the necessity of showing how this history of myself becomes chaotic, thus respecting the
2

Moirai were, in the Greek mythology the representation of destiny. They had the control of the mortal thread
of life.

Foucault pendulum3 which moves me. This is more a need of its narrator than the history itself
insofar as I would not be able to speak about my life or even understand it without looking at it
retrospectively through chaos concept. In this very first stage, I will focus on my youth and my
experience in Mexico. However both them are attached to chaos in my memories in a different
way, they conform to what I called the chaotic thread of my life.

1.-Friendly chaos
Firstly, my youth is saturated with different moments lacking order, one of the most worldwide
meanings for chaos. At that time, I suffered from insomnia which shaped my schedule. I never
knew what time I would fall asleep, thus I could not know if I would be able to go to my high
school; or, in other words, if I would be capacitated to do some productive work, because my mum,
as it is natural, used to force me to wake up and leave my house to go to school. During this period I
used to draw and write poetry every single night. What time could be better? Therefore, insomnia
meant creativity to me, it was not a sickness but a gift. During the day I had to go to my high school
but instead of that, I stepped in and quickly left that educative institution to visit my friend and
spent the whole day together. We did not have any plans, or future, or even past: we were there,
where everybody should be as sixteen, seventeen year olds, in the present. Obviously, that situation
could not be maintained for long. Sooner than we had wished, our castle fell down obstreperously.
And I said castle in almost a literal way. My friend was living on his own in one of those small,
poor, decrepit, government houses that, otherwise, we considered as our kingdom, a safe place to
explore life outside of the box. And we used to say loudly and proudly that our place was a
beautiful chaos: full of random people, where none worried about cleaning, tidying, just about
creating something new. That is why, for me, chaos is a friendly word; in this sense, synonymous of
freedom and creativity.

The Foucault pendulum was a pendulum created to demonstrate that the Earth was a sphere
and it had movement. Therefore, the pendulum does not move forward and backward in a
lineal movement, but it moves in a line that is, indeed, a circle. In this case, I am using this
metaphor to explain the movement between chapters: as the reader will notice, the different
chapters try to speak about what is named in the title but it always demonstrate the main point
of the title right before. This movement corresponds to the dialectic reflection.

Our kingdom fell down as soon as my friend was put in jail. Yes, in jail, because chaos
appeals to order and such chaos was demanding order in the same dimension as our chaotic sin of
freedom.
My youths chaos did not finish then but that disorder disappeared slowly, giving us a few
more chances to live a life conjugated in the present. Thus, one day, in a visit to jail we all decided
to introduce the chaos inside the Temple of Order: we carried a mobile phone and a bottle of
alcohol inside of the jail. I cannot imagine how close we were to throwing our entire lives away in
a second, how many times we failed with our families or the school. But we did not care about all
those things at that time. Our lives were exciting enough to care about its dangerous side. Chaos
was like a high wire extended between the Twin Towers, an invitation to cross, following the steps
4

of Philip Pettit ; but also it is the feeling of vertigo calling you from the void under your feet, the
desire to fall and notice, for once, the ground; what French call: lappel du vide. The direct
consequence of an attitude for life that we can sum up with the idea of letting be.

2.-Aggressive chaos
My chaotic pendulum needs to move on now to Mexico. In a certain sense, the change was the
movement from an inside to an outside chaos. I still remember the landscape of the city, at three
oclock in the morning from a taxi: lights of different colours and intensities; a big amount of cars,
each one in even worse condition than the one before; at the end of our vision, the city, showing us
the biggest disorder that I had known until then, an urban monster of chaos. During the next two
years I would understand how the chaos is not just disordered, but also unintelligible. Mexico City
is exactly that, an immeasurable amount of people, ones living, others surviving, all of them
coexisting in the same place, in million different ways. Thus, none can reach any kind of
understanding about it and you need to learn how to survive, expecting anything all the time
(letting be). Although, this feature of chaos involves pain in the manner of a permanent state of
4

French high-wire artist who on the morning of August 7, 1974, crossed illegally the Twin Towers of New York . To
know more about him I recommend to listen to him directly in this amazing TED speech, called Philip Pettit: the
journey across the high wire, Youtube (2012).

violence. Whether it is night or daytime, you can be assaulted or kidnapped, even by police, which
I had to experience in my own body. Waiting in the police station to pay under the table to the
judge for my liberation, I could see how weak the social web was, how a situation of extreme chaos
looks: like if life is completely worthless.
Simultaneously to this lacking respect for life, Mexican people, considered one by one, or as
crew of people (such as friend groups, families, colleagues) are the most warm and kind people that
I have ever known. The fact is that whereas some are killing each other, the rest are taking care of
their own people in a severe way. Understanding such a chaotic combination involves taking the
isolation of the individual as an important part of Mexicos reality. Waiting for the judge in that
police station at one in the morning, I realized that there was no State nor laws nor justice,
therefore, the only thing that exists is yourself surrounded by an endless sea of loneliness. In that
context, the individuals try to make up strong webs with others to generate the illusion of security
and future and, at the same time, producing actual and worthy relationships between them. In the
end, the isolation of individuals is what justifies both violence and carefulness. It is the fertile land
where creativity can grow, a sort of spontaneous and intense creativity whose outputs are unique
and unrepeatable. You could notice that chaos in your mouth, through the roadsides stands of food
that served different dressings so the taste changed completely all the time; into the
neighbourhoods which live like small towns themselves and so on.

3.-Relational Chaos
During the time I lived in Mexico, I changed in flow with the country following my inner
pendulum. I learned how to deal with the external chaos, reducing my own one, as a proper
Mexican does. Nowadays, I keep this struggle between planning and letting be, where I think
resided not just the peace and creativity, but also the balance of my life. Managing the extreme
chaos, not making it disappear but facing it, accepting and trying to resolve the conflicts one by
one, valuing them as a worthy proof of an actual social life where independence for involved actors
is an essential cornerstone. I face my relationships with this simple idea in my mind. Easy to think,

but really hard to apply in real life. In my case, just a few relationships in my private life could be
defined by this idea, unlike my jobs where I always work by this guideline. Nevertheless, easier or
harder, my relationship with people belong to that complex equilibrium between the scheme and the
unthought. Because of this reason I can only enjoy working with other people, I could never work
with computers, for example. My need for chaos can be satisfied just by others, by that sort of
always unknown or impossible to totally know otherness.
I assume that aim of chaos equilibrium as an ideal or guideline. This means that one never
knows how close he/she is to achieve it. This is a relational chaos insofar as it is defined by two or
more matter points, and it is changing all the time, i.e. it is as the Foucault pendulum, moving
across the grades pretending it does a straight line while it is moving with the world. There are not
two positions like order-chaos or planning-chaos and so forth. Insofar the chaos is relational it is
also gradual, which for me means that life is more or less chaotic, ordered, conflicting and peaceful
at the same time but in different degrees and different manners. So I can know where I am only
when it is applied a criteria which could be a value, like respect comfort, independence, happiness,
learning, and so on. The criteria itself is shaped by me depending on the present and context: I
would not require comfort in my job, at least not in the same degree that I do when I am at home,
for example. In this sense, I have a hierarchy of values that all the time changes their positions with
each other. Furthermore, sometimes new values can appear or being introduced by others in my
life.

4.- Recovering my space and my time

In sum, the thread of my life is chaotic in many different manners, changing all the time depending
on the when but also on the where. I am now capable of introducing myself, I know where I am
talking from and I know when I am talking from. I am speaking from Spain, but a Mexican Spain. I
am speaking from now, a sort of historical now, a radical now with past. On the other hand, I firmly
believe that those values are just narrative resources that I gained from those places that I have
lived, from my past, and they help me to shape my live, to write a sense into my chaos. Thanks to

them, I have recovered that essential part of my being that let me tell this history; thanks to them
my life have a sense, a form, as well as a meeting spot where I can ask the most important question:
who am I? Although, after this first stage of our introductory meeting and as consequence of the
conclusion of this presentation, it seems necessary now to understand what kind of subject is that
one which belongs to and holds the chaotic thread of my life. Who is asking the most important
question, then?

Chapter 2: My Self
There are many ways to search the self. This time, my chaotic pendulum carried me to look at it
through its form as soul or body. In this regard, one can be reduced to a mere body, a biological
animal whose brain contains his personality. On the other hand, the self could be reduced as well to
a spiritual construction that can survive out of the body. At this point I can say straight away that I
am not religious. But I have always considered myself as a spiritual person. Here appears a threat
coming from religions side. At least for Christians, the body was an eternal sin, and the soul would
be our salvation from this world. Then, could I be a soul without body? To be saved, should I
disown my body? In order to clarify these questions one should ask another question: What does
spirituality or religion mean? For me, when one speaks about religion they are speaking about an
organization that involves the union (religio) of people throughout several rituals. When one speaks
about spirituality they are referring to someones soul (pneuma), to its actual existence. In fact, both
options have a hard connection insofar as any religion is the organization of souls, however each
one understands soul differently. The question here is to realise if I am either a body, a brain with
organs; or a soul. Furthermore the solution given to this dichotomy will determine the chaotic
essence of that subject which supports the chaotic thread of my life.
1.- Platos body
In the history of Western thought the difference between body and soul has been quite famous.
Christianity popularised this difference up to nowadays, supported mainly by Platos texts by the

so-called Fathers of the Church5. Nevertheless, I would like to bring a personal approach to Plato
that could lead to a new understanding of the relation between body and soul. In this regard, one
must look to what Plato says in his Cratylus 6:
For some say that the body is the grave ()of the soul which may be thought to be buried
in our present life; or again the index of the soul, because the soul gives indications to
() the body; probably the Orphic poets were the inventors of the name, and they were
under the impression that the soul is suffering the punishment of sin []7
(Plato 2013, 400)
Rather than speaking just about the difference, Plato states that the body is the grave of the
soul, but also the index of the soul. To appreciate how different these two options are one should
attend to their Greek words: sma and semanei. This second word comes from smata, sma; i.e.,
sign4. Therefore, the body is prison as well as sign of ones soul. Whereas the first definition could
belong to the Christian tradition8; the second is a new conception of the body that shows itself as a
sort of mouth of the soul.

2.- Meaningful bodies

If our body is a sign, sign of ones soul as the words are signs of ones thoughts, its condition
reveals a new horizon for reflection. What is a sign? The famous American philosopher Pierce
developed a modern theory of semiotic, the theory of signs:

Plato was and is a Greek philosopher and one of the most important philosophers of the
entire history of the philosophy.
6
This text speaks about the huge topic of deciding if the meaning of our words is something
natural or it comes by the use; that is, natural or cultural.
7
In other Spanish translation one would find this connection easier insofar as it is showed as
follows: En efecto, hay quienes dicen que es la tumba (sma) del alma, como si sta
estuviera enterrada en la actualidad. Y, dado que, a su vez, el alma expresa lo que expresa a
travs de ste, tambin se la llama justamente signo (sma) () el alma () tiene al
cuerpo como recinto en el que resguardarse (siztai) bajo la forma de prisin. As pues,
ste es el sma
(prisin) del alma, donde resguardarse. Indeed, some say that it is the grave (sma) of
the soul, as though this would be buried currently. And, being that, at the same time, the soul
expresses what it expresses through this, also it is called sign (sma) () the soul () has the
body as the place into which it is saved (siztai) under the prison form.
Therefore, this is the sma (prison) of the soul, where it is saved. (Platn 2009, 400c.
Translated by author)
8

Merely because it introduces the concept of sin.

I define a sign as anything which is so determined by something else, called its

Object, and so determines an effect upon a person, which effect I call its interpretant,
that the later is thereby mediately determined by the former. (Charles Sanders Peirce
1998,
478)The sign needs not just an object but also an interpretant. The process of interpretation
ofthe self is called acknowledgement: the recognition of oneself through its marks on their bodies.
The most famous example of this within the history of Western culture is the acknowledgement of
the hero when he comes back to home in Odyssey. Other example could be represented by a wound
on my skin which can reference to a precise time in my life when I cut myself while I was cooking,
but it will keep that meaning only for those who know its history. However, the compound of signs
(that fill a body) has another name: text. Immediately, we have jumped from semiotic to
hermeneutic theory. To sum up, the body is the meaningful place where signs of who I am come to
compound a text to be interpreted, a soul to be recognised; in the end, a text to be read by others.
Also the body shows itself as a sort of saying because it tells others who I am and I become myself
when others say my name and they attach to it my acts, the space that my body occupies and so on.
The body is something that needs to be said insofar as it is a sort of saying; but such is the
soul, according to Plato. The bodys saying is a discourse, and the souls saying is called reasoning.
Although, Plato pointed out that they both are, indeed, the same(Platn 1998, 263e)9. Whereas the
first kind of saying contains an exterior feature, the second one is the interior and silent movement
of the soul with itself (Ibid). Thus, each one says in a different form: the body is discursive and
the soul cogitative. In conclusion, the saying is the place of synagg meeting- that reunites them
and lets them be. This is an essential part of Platos metaphysics theory that may lie beyond this
academic task. Suffice to say that in Platos theory the body, like the soul, are things which exist
when they are said and in the form which one says that they are. According to this new conception
one can find other philosophic positions like that of Foucault which admits that there is a history of
the body (History of sexuality Vol. I: The Will to knowledge 1990) as well as a history of the soul
(History of sexuality Vol. II: The care of the self 1998) because we have spoken differently about
9

Translated by author

them throughout time. We would find others like Judith Butler, to give another example, who
defines the body as a text in which are inscribed the marks of power (Butler 1999).

Following this last author, our bodies would be the product of powers discourse, like a text
where the power was inscribed.
It is because of all these reasons that our bodies and souls could change if we change the
way we say them. From my chaotic saying, I can easily find spiritual features in my body and even
material features in my soul, although they are constantly moving in the way of my pendulum. On
the one hand, I can see body even in those things where there is not flesh, for example feelings or
the letter in a wood which have been written by hand; or the organization of a room, as well as new
forms of sexuality impossible to fit into the binary conception of genders. On the other hand, I find
the material features of my soul within those things that determine who I am in an almost a physical
way, even if those characteristics are completely imperceptible for myself such as: my cultures, a
film, an exhibition, prejudices, in other words, the so-called in hermeneutic studies horizon of
interpretation. And my religion, if I would have one, is based on a continuous exercise of freeing
my soul from a rare world, different than this one where I am living, and freeing my body from an
insignificant world of organs to let it be into the meaningful space of my existence.

3.- Chaos into the interpretation of the Self

When I was thinking about what chaos could mean in a spiritual sense, I came up with two ideas
which have appeared already during this essay. Firstly, I came up with the principle of letting be that
I described in the previous chapter. In this case, that attitude of living leads me to not restrict any
opportunities for my body (that is my soul) to feel something else, something that it is not in front
of me, but beyond the physical experience, as well as those considered pure physical ones. From
this follows a few experiences that are essential to me, such as: my capacity and my interest to get
in touch with other religions and non-scientific experiences, as well as the scientific; my capacity to
not ask rational questions about everything all the time, but letting be; my predisposition and
necessity for an open mind; or the kind of relationships I develop with others based on the freedom
and meaningful interaction of something else than just individual bodies sharing physical
experiences, and it is more like interchanging interpretations of a book, like reading or writing

together about our bodies (souls). In the end, I have just realised that the principle of letting be is a
spiritual condition of who I am and it is permeating the whole sense of the chaotic thread of my life.
On the other hand, and following the text of Crutchfields text What lies between order and chaos
(2002), chaos is the complex coexistence of many different orders. In this regard, if I am just a
blank page waiting to be written on by others, those others will write my identity and from there it
will appear so many different selves. They introduce to me their particular order, combined with
their horizon of interpretation (their particular history, culture, experiences and so on), giving me a
chaotic identity which would be constantly transformed by my own experiences and new readers.

4.- Recovering my question

I said in the beginning that I had no religion, however I may redefine that assumption here in
another pendulous movement that is a symptom that I am walking the right path. Understanding
religion in its classic meaning of religio; i.e. the union of people through several rituals, I may be a
religious person: I invoke others through the rituals of saying, listening, occupying spaces and
letting the spaces occupy myself. I re-unite them, their orders within myself, and I call Adrian to
that chaotic juxtaposition of worlds and words in my body. Because I am a body that speaks, I can
ask questions, such as: Who am I?

Chapter 3: The tale of my chaotic life

A 36.000 kilmetros de la tierra ley ella se halla una rbita geoestacionaria [...] la rbita Cementerio, como se
denomina a aquella a la que se envan los satlites cuando pierden su vida til [...] No deja de tener su lado potico, si
lo piensas. Imagnate, Bea: unos cachivaches enormes cuya labor principal era la comunicacin, mudos, aislados para
siempre, rodeados de un ejrcito de cachivaches similares que tampoco podrn comunicarse nunca ms. [...] A veces
pienso, Mnica, donde quiera que ests, que a m me ha pasado lo mismo. Que fui enviada al mundo con una misin:

comunicarme con otros seres, intercambiar datos, transmitir. Y sin embargo, me he quedado sola, rodeada de
otros seres que navegan desorientados a mi alrededor en esta atmsfera enrarecida por la indiferencia, la
insensibilidad o la mera ineptitud, donde una nunca espera que la escuchen, y menos an que la comprendan.10
10

At 36.000 km from Earth - she reads- there is a geostationary orbit [...] Graveyard Orbit, as it is called to
that where all satellites are sent when they lose their use in life [...] It has a poetic side, if you think about it.
Imagine, Bea: all huge junk whose first aim was comunication, mute, isolated for ever, surrounding for an army of
similar junk which could communicate never more, neither. [...] Sometimes I think, Monica, wherever you are, that
the same thing happened to me. I was sent to the world with a mission; communicate with other beings,
interchange data, transmit to. Nevertheless, I ended up alone, surrounded by others who travel disorientated
around me in this atmosphere degenerated by the indifference and insensibility or merely awkwardness, where
one never expects to be listened, and even fewer to be understood. (Etxebarra 1998, Pag.14-15. Translated by

Etxebarra, Beatriz y los cuerpos celestes (1998)

If I need to say myself, whether that I is just a corporal tale to be said by my readers, it seems
necessary to look carefully into the language of chaos. How can I tell this chaotic tale of myself?
Can one say the chaos? How many ways there are to say chaos? The existence of my body and
therefore the existence of the chaotic thread of my life is depending on the answers to these
questions.

1.- The origin of cosmos: chaos.

There are three main definitions of chaos in Spanish, the language of that I which belongs to my
history. Such definitions are: 1-shapeless and undefined state previous to the cosmos order. 2misunderstanding, mess. 3- Related to the mathematical chaos theory (caos. RAE)11. In the
regard of the exposition the chaotic tale of my life, I will focus only on the two first ones.
To take a closer look at chaos as origin of cosmos, its first definition, I need to go through
Theogony of Hesiod where it says: Verily at the first Chaos came to be (Hesiod 1914, 116). The
myth states that the origin of the world began with chaos, a shapeless gap where the cosmos was
born, as it is stated in the poem. Chaos is the place, or better said, the non-place, insofar as is a gap
of nothingness, where life becomes itself. Also, we cannot forget that cosmos means order in
Greek culture. This is important insofar as any sort of order involves itself a kind of underlying
reason. Ancient Greek called this logos, where logic concept comes from. Also, the Spanish word
for say
[decir] comes from legein, matrix of logos. Thereby, logos is a kind of speech, a sort of logical
(ordered or rational) way to say the world, or speak about the world. But if logos is the language of
cosmos since Hesiod, by opposite, chaos is also another way to say, identified as a mythological
manner of saying the world like an oxymoron or a metaphor. Here comes another extended meaning
in my language -even if it is not included in the dictionary- for chaos: something that is false, not
true, or in other words, something that is not logical. From the beginning of Western culture which I
the author)
11
We can find an exact definition in the famous dictionary of Juan Coromias, Breve diccionario etimolgico de la
lengua castellana (1987, Pag.128).

belong to, it has been always privileged all rational thoughts against the mythological ones, the
rational language against the chaotic mythologist; which in the philosophy tradition has been named
as the transition from myth to logos12.
I am wondering now if the chaotic thread of my life is just a mythological tale, an oxymoron. Is
there a radical handicap to be logical, to construct a rational tale of my life if this one is chaotic as I
showed so far? Many important things are involved here such as my body and my soul. If they are,
as I pointed out, a way of saying; but my saying is metaphorical, is my body just a metaphor? And
more important: if it is so, can these other non-rational sayings exist or being as important as those
rational ones?

2.- Mother Tongue

Up to this point of the research, one can be sure that chaos could be said and in which way, but so
far this action is shaped in a mythological way that lays out of the reality because it is fictional.
Insofar it is a fiction it is also less important than the reasonable ones and it has been historically
banned from the main social spheres as I showed in the previous point. Is it true that the
mythological discourses are worthless for humankind? In order to answer this important question I
need to situate myself into a specific language. I am, as individual, determined to say the chaos in
my mother tongue, Spanish. Hence, before attending to the second definition of chaos and resolve
these issues it is necessary to introduce the concept of mother tongue.
Mother tongue is defined as first language which is learned by a human during his/her
childhood and normally it becomes his/her natural tool for thinking and communicating. The
mother tongue is related to the identity of each person and community, and because of that to a kind
of culture and world. It is also worth mentioning that it is the language in which one can better
communicate more spontaneously and fluently, thus the language which one prefers to use in
complex intellectual situations or those which are really intimate (Lengua Materna 2016)13. After

12

A good introductory text to this matter could be The revolution of thought: From mythology to Hellenistic science. of
Stella Villarmea (2001).
13

Translated by author

any individual learns his/her mother tongue, they can learn others but the first language remains the
most important because of the features mentioned above.
With mother tongue it happens the same as with the dichotomy between chaos and logic; if it is
so relevant for the development of individuals we could ask ourselves: why there are other
languages less important or even worthless for the rest of our culture? Here I would like to bring the
testimony of Natalia Lopez Lopez, an indigenous Mexican child who speaks about how difficult it
is for her to speak her own language, Nahuatl, in her own country (Youtube 2013). I encourage my
reader to search her testimony in the Comisin Estatal Electoral from Nuevo Leon (CEE NL) which
is beautiful and strong enough to keep it in her own words rather than making a bad summary with
my words. During her speech, she is demanding for a more balanced situation and a way back to
defend her language and her culture as a manner to recover old but worthy values. Her tale should
make one reflect upon the injustice suffered by those who live amid other languages or even with
other ways of thinking, more mythological, and metaphorical, but also less constrained to a
scientific and logical language, more free and chaotic. This speech also has encouraged me to
defend those fictional tales which actually say something real about our world as worthy as those
rational discourse.
3.- Misunderstanding England
The particular situation transmitted by Natalia is far from being an exception. It is an unjust
situation if one considers that she is not allowed to speak in the language which constitutes her
natural tool for thinking and communicating, or to identify herself as person and as part of a
community. But I can go even farther with this asseveration: the philosopher Wittgenstein said that
the limits of my language mean the limits of my world (Wittgenstein 2015, 5.6). Language is not
just a tool, but a world (cosmos) which I can share with others. Hence, language is the chance to
live a full life as individual with others in a community.
I would like to bring my own experience to exemplify the loss of world due to prohibition to
speak ones own language. This happened to me when I decided to live in Bristol, England. I cannot
remember a more difficult experience. When I arrived there I could almost not say a single word in

English. But, at the same time, I did not allowed myself to think in my own language most of the
time in order to learn this new language. Thus, my world during one year, approximately, consisted
of a range of a hundred words and two ways to form sentences: present and future. Through the
interactions I had with my managers or colleagues at work which occupied up to fifty hours a week,
I lost the richness of my life: adjectives, adverbs, actions, names, my past and so on. I became a
machine of work without a history but productive. Thereby my life suffered the attack of hundreds
of limits and boundaries represented by a gap, a huge linguistic gap, like the mythological form of
chaos. My life lost its sense and order, and the new world looked illogical to me. At some point, I
would realise that learning a language is not just knowing grammar and vocabulary, but also
learning a new logic of life itself. Learning a new language is like seeing a new universe (cosmos)
appearing in front of you. In my experience, I have felt myself like a little piece of junk amid the
solitude of absolute nothingness, watching the Big Bang that represented that new world of new
opportunities that being able to speak English involved to me, seeing such a chaotic, explosive and
wonderful creation. As soon as I lived a new situation in my work such as learning how an
industrial washing machine works, I also learned how to speak about it; I learned the word health
insurance the first time I had to go to the hospital, as well as explaining what I felt, and so on. I
learned English when I was able to live in that other new world for me, England; and more
precisely, Bristol, where I was living.
On the other hand, we have just found the second definition of chaos: misunderstanding.
Chaos is the outcome of a situation of misunderstanding when both parts in communication cannot
reach the same meaning, therefore it is useless and it produces a lot of mess. What is underlying
here is, again, the need for a rational language as mathematics based on true or false options; an
universal language that everybody could understand in order to produce in an economical way. But
these sort of clear languages cannot be supported by deleting other possible orders, like poetry or
mythological whose outcomes are not productive in economical terms but essential for a full life in
my very personal point of view. The scientific truth ought to lose its privileged position and give
room to other values like tolerance or peace which can be achieved through metaphors, poems and

so on. For example, one does not assess the speech of others from his/her personal logic (or mother
tongue), but from the personal point of view of the other person. I can start to accept that our logic
is not the only one worthy, and accept that every single mother tongue has something important to
contribute to our lives. As soon as one accepts this idea he or she will recover the world; i.e., the
chance of many different cosmos coexisting on the so-called Earth.

4.- Recovering my body

I come from my mother tongue, Spanish, but we revealed it is more important than just Spanish, but
an ontological piece of all humankind. I and you, my reader, are now in the position to answer the
first questions that as a nightmare were threatening the existence of our body and soul, the chance to
be a subject which would support the chaotic thread of our lives.
Chaos is ultimately a metaphor, a non-linear reasoning, non-scientific but poetical,
mythological that, in the same way as an oxymoron, it creates new meanings for new readers. In the
end, this condition makes it just different from the logical thought but not less important nor even
false. Chaos led one to a more difficult world where there are not dichotomies and no easy answers
(true or false) but grades between realities and persons. Again, the relational chaos of the Foucault
pendulum, but now in a new renovated layer and form. Amid this new world other logos can
appear, one formatted by a plurality of perspectives and values such as tolerance or empathy. This is
the kind of world and no other from where my body, my soul tell and write their history to you, my
reader; i.e., this chaotic tale of my life.

Chapter 4: My community
If you asked the fishes to describe what its like to live at the bottom of the sea, they would probably
neglect to mention that its extremely wet.
Joseph Heath and Andrew Potter,

The rebel sell (2004)

So far I can be sure about the existence of my talkative soul/body. In the previous chapter I gave to
it a language to speak but also I gave them a world, a new cosmos where chaos is its substratum.

Also, the journey through the language has showed me that more than a Spanish speaker, I am a
human being and as every single human being I have language and a mother tongue. Here, one will
find another threat. Which kind of world is this one that I call mine, as humankind? Is it a natural
world or cultural? How could my self speak about itself if everything is of a natural condition; that
is, a cluster of atoms without language, an ordered agglomeration of facts without history. Would
my world disappear behind those facts then? Could I exist as a body without world? Thus, as I did
in the previous chapter, I will try here to solve the dichotomy between nature and chaos that is
threatening my body with dispossessing it from its world.

1.- Culture
The term culture comes from Latin cultura; and this creates cultus, from colere. At the same time,
colere means cultivate or, better said, growing; i.e. the term culture referred to growing
vegetables in fields14 in its origin. Later on people began to use it to describe the relationship with
gods through looking after ones soul (Etimologas de Chile 2016)15.. Those who carried out these
actions were considered cultivated and/or cultured. From this practice of taking care of ones soul in
order to connect with divinities, humanity created different praxis, such as: pray, work, but also
leisure and so forth.

2.1.- Culture against Nature

In the history of philosophy the battle between culture and nature is quite popular: both of them are
defined in contrast to each other. In Greek the term nature was called physis, and this referred to
everything that exists and it is subject to the temporal and rational becoming. For instance,
Heraclitus identified physis with logos, the rational order of the existence16. Therefore Greek people
understood physis as logical. Culture, by contrast, would be those things that are not subject to that
temporal flowing of the physis, such as pieces of art which have been made to endure time. If
human beings can produce cultural stuff and we are born in a natural way; to which extent do we

14
15
16

In Spanish, the verb is cultivar, close also to cultura.

In Spanish, culto.
This idea comes from Heraclitus texts where he claims, for example, that: this univers [] is, and will be an
ever-living fire (2016, Fr.29), in other words, everything is changing and dynamical, it flows as the water of a
river or a fire.

belong to nature or to culture? Aristotle explains in Book 9 of his Metaphysics (Aristteles 1998)
that the being is formed by two main sides: act and potency. The first one is what someone or
something is, in fact. The other one means what someone or something could become, in the future.
What we can become is already in our essence; as a seed is potentially a flower. Therefore, culture
is natural for human beings because those cultural outcomes of our praxis, such as drawings or a
house are ever part of our essence in a potential way. In conclusion, humanity belongs to the logical
development of existence. By contrast, chaos is the opposite to existence, it is the gap where the
existence becomes itself, as we saw in Theogony of Hesiod (Hesiod 1914).
It is worth explaining how in the beginning of Western thought the difference between culture
and nature was not yet an open war and we could define human beings as a mix of nature and
culture17; chaos, on the other hand, would be still excluded of this relation. It is not until Christianity
that people began to think about the radical difference between body and soul; that is, the difference
between our material side belonging to nature and our in-material soul belonging to a cultural or
spiritual side. It was modernity which would secularize this issue and speak directly about
consciousness and nature. For example, Descartes destroyed the material part of our existence as
human beings in order to ensure the knowledge in his Meditations on First Philosophy (2007). After
that, Kant would call that nature noumenon: whatever is unknown beyond our consciousness,
shaping our thoughts against our will. Insofar as nature/noumenon is unformed, without sense,
irrational, it is also chaotic in a radical way 18. This has big implications for our relation with chaos.
If the noumenon shapes us we need to control it through science and technology (cornerstones of
logic) and give it a sense, a human form. For modernity, chaos must be destroyed.

2.2.- Culture against itself: counterculture

After World War II the counterculture appeared in a new form, not only as a form of political
dissent (however, it was so too), but as a proposal for a radically different world, a whole cultural
project with specific goals: a new world with new values. Then new cultural and political
17
18

Aristotle defined the human being as a political animal (Aristotle, Politics, Book I 1999, pag.5)
In this regards, one can read the third antinomy in Kants Critique of Pure Reason (1986, pag. 444Ss.)

approaches appeared such as feminism, anti colonialism, ecologist movements, but also music
styles like grunge or punk, hip-hop and so on 19. They share a main thing: if we just have senses,
meanings and therefore culture (as we learned from Kant) we can be controlled by those who run
culture (companies, media and so on). Indeed, Hitlers Germany or Stalins Union of Soviet
Socialist Republics (USSR) are good examples of a society controlled by propaganda or mass
media (Heath and Potter 2004, Pag.27-28). Hence, culture looks more chaotic and irrational now for
new generation of people. Historically speaking, the fight between humankind against a chaotic
nature ended with modernity and a battle between humanity against the chaotic sides of culture has
been opened. Countercultural movements arose mainly to defend ourselves from prejudices and to
support the relativism which involves: 1) accept that chaos is inherent to all cultures in the form of
prejudices; 2) because of this, there is not better cultures than others, we must accept the chaos into
all of them and try to remove those prejudices.

3.- Chaotic Spain: goat herders

In Spanish tradition it is quite typical to say that we, Spanish people, are mainly uncultured. Juan
Mars, a very famous writer, said in an interview that Spain is a country of goat
herders20(Hermoso, 2015). Although, this is a reminiscence from previous times when the main
economical way to the subsistence of Spanish people was the field and raising animals. Goat
herders is, in the end, a typical Spanish rhetorical figure to imagine an uncultured person that has
been taken to underestimate our community in the context of our political culture. Thus, Juan Carlos
Monedero, one of the most important ideologues of the contemporary left wing in Spain, makes his
invitation to stop to be a country of goat herders (2015) as a whole socialist program. Being
uncultured goat herders is a Spanish problem without a solution at all because our people are
inherently that: a controlled mass of people that reflect an old world where reason does not fit in 21.
By contrast, this is a worldwide interpretation of culture and not just Spanish. As Kevin Avruch
pointed out in his book Culture and conflict resolution (2004), the difference between barbarian
19
20
21

Joseph Heath and Andrew Potter explain the connection between movements like feminism or ecologist
matters are just previous states of counterculture (2004).
Espaa es un pas de cabreros.
Here we can find the most famous book of Ortega y Gasset, the so-called, The rebellion of the mass (1985)

culture (another way to represent what in Spain people call goat herders) and civilization is really
important during the twenties century in Europe. Avruch says that this position was clearly
colonialist and eventually it disappeared from the academias, but sadly it was not removed from
Spanish culture. Here we can remark upon the connection between barbarism and chaos really easy.
Barbarian people used to be related to mysticism and mythological cultures which are considered
irrational, instead of modern sciences and reasonable cultures. Being a goat herder is a synonym of
being a chaotic barbarian or, in other words, a mass of dangerous idiots. That is the prejudiced view
that Spanish people have of themselves. Despite of what I think and what I wish, this is not just a
prejudice of the political or cultural elite but also a widespread interpretation among citizens; for
instance, I used to listen to my family and friends speaking in these terms about our country really
often.
At the same time, traditional parties will accuse left wing parties of being chaotic too because
in their opinion left parties are trying to destabilize the country and take us into a chaotic situation,
symbolized by our civil war in forties. In this case, the reason is different than left wing parties.
Coming back to Kevin Avruchs text one finds another traditional definition of culture that makes a
difference between high culture and popular culture. Supporters of high culture think that the only
important matters are high institutions and classic cultural productions such as international Banks,
European institutions, classic art, classic family figures and so on. Any kind of effort to make these
things different is populism; in other words, popular culture of an uncultured mass of people.
Populism, understood from the right wing, is the biggest chaotic scene thinkable in a civilized
country with a high culture because it creates wars, social turbulences; that is, destructive chaos. In
consequence, summarising both left and right wings of Spanish political culture, chaos is a terrible
word to discredit the adversary. In their own perspective, the world of humankind is cultural, but
amid this there are better or worse worlds/cultures.
Also, chaos in these two senses exposed above are a derivation from classicism and colonialism
approaches. By contrast, the relativism defined as I did in previous pages did not show up in my
country. From my point of view our counterculture was slightly smaller than others around the

world because by the time they were growing abroad, people in Spain were in the so-called Spanish
Transition from a dictatorship to a democratic government. Relativism, in fact, involves accepting a
minimum amount of chaos, a minimum amount of uncertainty. And that was a privilege that Spanish
people could not afford during the transition. In my opinion this is the deep reason why currently
we do not have government now. After the elections, no party had the majority of votes so they had
to start a dialogue and reach an agreement. But the lack of relativism, also a positive sense of chaos,
banned this possibility because no party was able to accept the opponents chaos. Always the other
chaos is unacceptable for each one.

4.- Recovering my world

Although, one cannot forget that the relativism has tumbled these positions such as classicism and
colonialism. In the same way, my inner pendulum is demanding more chaos in my country, for a
relativist world, it is claiming for a punk song to move with its chaotic rhythm. It is demanding a
free pendulum movement without any limit of cultures or borders. After travelling through the two
sides of the Atlantic I got no one, but many cultures; that is, more than one community. I am not
only Spanish, but also Mexican at some point and yet I conserve more space for more nationalities,
cultures and communities. And I cannot reduce my world to an economical feature through which
one could find rich communities and poor ones, nor a linguistic feature that encloses cultures to a
mythological or rational condition. I belong to a bigger community called humankind, I belong to a
community even bigger than this one, the so-called the community of the Earth. Such belonging is
in need of a chaos as big as my community. And this union would not be possible if one reduces the
world to its natural substratum or the unhistorical group of natural facts. My community has a
history and a culture written in my body. The relativist approach has demonstrated that I am not a
body alone in the world, but I am surrounded by others. Hence, my community is sown together by
those chaotic threads of my life, and the lives of many others, sometimes humans and other times
animals or ecosystems. Only when my world is cultural and a chaotic union of different cultures,
my body can recover its world and its history. After this point, no one could understand this chaotic

tale of my life without understand that it is shared with so many others, that this tale is not about an
individual, but about something bigger: the tale of a sort of shared chaos.

Chapter 5: My virtue
Whether I am body with a world shared with the big community of Earth, one should search for the
condition of those others who coexist with me. In order to understand the essence of my community
I will search for the values that congregate us, allowing us to be different but still living together. I
have mentioned a few times already some important values of my world, this chaotic cultural poetic
world where I live amid a community (or better said, endless number of communities). Those
values are tolerance and empathy, for example. But this chaotic thread of my life would be
incomplete if I could not find chaos amid my values; that is, reveal the chaos as an important value
itself where others such as tolerance and empathy or peace could find their path and their place. In
this regard, one has to admit that values are important features of communities, no one would need
of values without other people or animals, ecosystems and so forth. Hence, as soon as one mentions
the word values one is claiming the existence of a community. But also, these values are connected
with something that underlies any kind of society or community, that is the law. This is because law
works in order to organize our lives amid a society to achieve a peaceful coexistence. In this
chapter I will propose a conception of chaos taken from Hobbes and his idea of the state of nature.
An important link between chaos and war would be taken from here. Also, Hobbes leads one to
think about humankind (those who I share this world with) in a specific way. Later on, I will bring
the importance that chaos has itself in democratic states as a positive feature and not just as
synonym of war and catastrophe, where other bodies could rise, therefore another conception of
humankind.

1.1.-The state of nature

Which reason would a normal person have to join others and make a political society? This was the
question that Hobbes was asking to himself when he wrote Leviathan in 1651 during his exile in

France. That context of civil war in England inspired him to write his book and it was decisive for
his conception of humankind. Also, we cannot forget his mathematical influences that would have
structured his rational idea of mankinds nature and natural law. The natural condition of mankind is
what would exist amid that ungoverned situation so-called state of nature. The state of nature is
actually a state of war (what we called previously a permanent state of violence to refer to Mexican
reality), a war of every man against every man"(Thomas Hobbes. Pag. 79. 1651) in which human
beings constantly need power to keep their possessions and goods and gain more. In his own words,
life in the state of nature is "nasty, brutish and short (pag.78). At this stage, one could reasonably
ask whether the state of nature is related with chaos. I make that link based on the next asseveration
from Hobbes: the notion of time is to be considered in the nature of war, as it is in the nature of
weather (pag.77); therefore something unpredictable and inner chaotic. War is chaotic, a sort of
destructive chaos.
However, this chaotic situation of war and catastrophe is for Hobbes a natural derivation from
humankinds nature. In the authors point of view, our desires, motivations and so on, are based as
well as caused by different objects. There are two main movements: either by appetites or aversions;
this endeavour, when it is toward something which causes it, is called appetite, or desire [] And
when the endeavour is from ward something, it is generally called aversion (pag.32).
Thus, humankind is constricted to act in this two ways without any responsibility in as much as
those objects cause those actions in a mechanical way according to Hobbes approach what it is
radically different from my Foucault pendulums movement. Hence, Hobbes appears here with a
new threat for my conception of chaos as the essence of my chaotic tale. Those things that attract us
(as humankind) would do so based on the idea that they can provide for us a better living condition
or even they allow one to be alive, for example, things like food, water, and so on; by contrast, those
things that provoke an aversion movement respond to the same rule of conservation of life and so
one will find in this group such dangerous things like poison and generally any harmful thing. Even
though, says Hobbes, because the constitution of mans body is in continual mutation, it is
impossible that all the same things should always cause in him the same appetites and aversions

and he adds much less can all men consent in the desire of almost anyone and the same object
(pag.33). Consequently, we have as a result this chaotic map of a war of desires whose author,
Hobbes, stands up as cartographer of it.

1.2.- The state of war

For Hobbes, the problem is not just the chaotic difference between individuals, but their constant
endeavour to conquer more objects of desire which make that chaos harmful and dangerous. Thus,
he says: Felicity is a continual progress of the desire for an object to another (pag.60). Once the
individual gets a desirable object he/she instantly jumps to the next, thus all men tend not only to
procuring, but also to the assuring of a content life, and differ only in the way (pag.60). I must
point out here that, at least for Hobbes, those ways would be necessarily violent forms and that so
because of the lack of law or a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition
which is called war (pag.76). Nevertheless, at this point, there is not right or wrong behaviours
nor justice insofar as the notion of right and wrong, justice and injustice, have there no place.
Where there is no common power, there is no law; where no law, no injustice (pag.79). Then,
again, a terrifying side of chaos: no meanings, no values, destructive and so forth. But also, one
must keep in mind that this chaos is really close to that sort of natural chaos showed by scientists
as Crutchfield (2002) however looked at it from its worst side.
I would like to introduce a small note about an international situation that it is really similar to
this local or national chaos. In Hobbes words: from hence it is that kings, whose power is greatest,
turn their endeavours to the assuring it at home by laws, or abroad by wars. (pag.61). Even though
to extrapolate a local issue to a global or international one must miss some important features of the
problem, it can still be enough for my aim here22.
On the other hand, nowadays our political systems have changed a lot from Hobbes days. I
would like to just point out that Hobbes solution to this catastrophical organization is an agreement
22

I just added a small reflection of this problem: it is important to notice that as well as one can rule into his/her
territory through the law, outward we apparently have only the war as a resource. International agreements
come at this gap to fill it up with new mechanisms in order to get the peace without making any use of
warfare. Again, Hobbes would have a lot to say at this respect insofar as one will find a problem to force
others to do their agreements. How, without police or physical strength, would a society force others to do
what they have promised? This is yet an important question without a clear solution.

between all men and women to give away part of their natural rights to defend themselves and
concentrate all the power on a sovereign who would rule everything with a giant power without any
limit in order to preserve the peace. One could expect that our democracy and how the humankind
deals with its chaotic nature -better said, condition- have changed as well.
2.1.- Democratic chaos
One needs to understand that speaking about democracy involves several ideas, some of them
formal and other related to the content. In the regard of the first feature we find the rule of law. Here
one will find the idea of separation of powers, voting system, private property and so on. Secondly,
attending to its second feature, each democratic system is based on several fundamental rights, for
instance, human rights. In words of Robert A. Dahl: What is democracy? Democracy provides
opportunities for: 1. Effective participation 2. Equality in voting 3. Gaining enlightened
understanding 4. Exercising final control over the agenda 5. Inclusion of adults (2000, pag.38). I
will focus on the first point to integrate again the term chaos as a valuable part of our democratic
systems and a matter to work on in the future.

2.2.- Civil participation

The classic Greek democracy was radically different from modern ones. Thus, one of the most
important differences is its consideration about liberty. As Bejamin Constant pointed out, the liberty
of ancients was based on the participations on the public sphere and the individual liberty did not
exist; by contrast, the liberty for moderns is right the opposite, based solely on the private liberty
(Benjamin Constant, 1819). Since then, the meaning of representation and voting rose up.
Nevertheless, Kelsen -being mentioned by Fernandez Santillan (2013)- claims that this kind of
democracy is the same as autocracies, indeed, and not democracies as they ought to be. In order to
develop an actual democracy it is not only necessary to have representation or to obey to the
governments decisions, but also civil participation in the construction of the law. This is what I
would like to call participatory democracy and its main picture would be a system based mostly on
public politics; that is, rules or laws made by politicians and citizens together.

Whether the natural coexistence of humankind is chaotic insofar as each one desires different
things, democratic systems must tend to provide their citizens with those things that they desire.
Whereas the government cannot take in consideration every single point of view, and not all of
them are compatible with each other, it must let people exercising their liberty to discuss and
reach agreements that can better represent their positions. Being different is a highly valuable
skill in this kind of democracy because it helps each other and the society as a whole to walk to
their future together. What was a terrifying fact for Hobbes, the radical difference between
individuals, is nowadays a symptom of democratic health. All governments ought to open more
spaces for discussion at the same time that they feed the chaotic differences and teach ways to
respect each other and prevent a destructive chaos -wars, civil wars and so on- mediate other
techniques of conflict resolution.

3.- What Mexico taught me

These new democracies have revealed a new condition of the humankind whose individuals have
become citizens; that is, a subject of rights who exercises them constantly. I may say here, that as
well as humankind becoming subjects of rights, so the animals and ecosystems can become part of
our constitutions as nowadays has happened in some places. This matter is in the base of who I am.
It may seem really technical but it is a firm way of thinking and acting in my daily routine. It is also,
one of the main reasons for me to study this master. And it represents my experience in Mexico.
When I was living there I was forced somehow to live out of the public sphere not just in an
institutional way, but in a literal one. Going out was a dangerous practise and if I wanted to leave
my house, sometimes, I had to breathe in and out for few seconds. The extreme violence was over
there, behind my door, in a taxi, in a random street, surrounding me at any time. This is in a literal
way: I have seen a person being hit until almost death in my front door; I have been assaulted two
streets away from my house, kidnapped and so on. Despite of this violent context, I love that
country and what my life in Mexico meant to me. In Mexico the public life was as intense as
violent. Whereas the Mexican government is disappeared from Mexicans lives, they supply it

making up other kinds of structures stronger than the institutional ones, more meaningful for them.
Neighbourhoods, university webs, job centres or core families are able to move an entire country
forward in spite of the violence. I always thought that Mexico would be a great democracy if those
strong webs could eventually get a significant place in the political sphere. Mexico showed me that
making a strong civilian web through its chaotic individuals can support a healthy democracy even
in those places where institutions are corrupted and act as drug masters.

4.- Recovering my community

Ubi societas, ibi ius, wherever there is a society, there is law. I began this chapter with this sentence
that made me think about how our chaotic lives can be writing several rules, not just from
institutions, but directly from people in small communities. Mexican people come to my mind then
to fill the gap left by governments; Spanish people come to my mind then to fill the gap left behind
by the economic system. And, amid the Earth where I live, this sentence means to me the
responsibility that everyone is carrying out with other communities and minorities or even nonhuman groups around the world to support them in their own way to fill the gap left behind by us:
Western countries, Western cultures, white males, capable people, humankind and so on. In the end,
for me this Latin sentence is calling us to feed the chaos and to assess the chaos as a valuable
democratic virtue. Thus, my body currently demands he amazing virtue of chaos.

7) Chapter 6: The chaotic thread of my life

In these pages I have moved as a pendulum, in different degrees, introducing this chaotic thread of
my life. I have discovered that I am a body that speaks, which has a chaotic world. I have
discovered that I am not a body alone amid my world, but I share a cultural world with others, my
readers, those who I speak to, those who I listen to. We are all citizens of this Earth that congregate
under the virtue of chaos. Because of this, I did not finish writing my history. From this stage where
I am writing from, called present, I am a reader of my past and I have the chance to write with
others my future, the future of others as well. Hopefully, the future that waits for us will be a future

full of peace. Along my path, this aim of peace will be walking with me as a worthy companion:
sometimes we will get along, and other times we will be really far away from each other; but always
we will be looking for the others company. This, only this one, is the chaotic thread of my life.

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