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    What The Fish

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    Taijpal Rawat
    This document summarizes a police investigation into the theft of fish from an aquarium shop in Delhi owned by Pummy. Two police officers, Hardyal and Sompal, question Pummy about the theft of cash and fish worth 2 lakhs. Pummy insists he only makes a modest living from the shop. Meanwhile, Sudha Mishra returns home from a trip to find her pet fish Mishti looking unwell, and suspects her niece Suman's husband of neglecting to properly care for Mishti in her absence.

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    What The Fish

    Uploaded by

    Taijpal Rawat
    361 views117 pages
    This document summarizes a police investigation into the theft of fish from an aquarium shop in Delhi owned by Pummy. Two police officers, Hardyal and Sompal, question Pummy about the theft of cash and fish worth 2 lakhs. Pummy insists he only makes a modest living from the shop. Meanwhile, Sudha Mishra returns home from a trip to find her pet fish Mishti looking unwell, and suspects her niece Suman's husband of neglecting to properly care for Mishti in her absence.

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    What the Fish

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    This document summarizes a police investigation into the theft of fish from an aquarium shop in Delhi owned by Pummy. Two police officers, Hardyal and Sompal, question Pummy about the theft of cash and fish worth 2 lakhs. Pummy insists he only makes a modest living from the shop. Meanwhile, Sudha Mishra returns home from a trip to find her pet fish Mishti looking unwell, and suspects her niece Suman's husband of neglecting to properly care for Mishti in her absence.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
    361 views117 pages

    What The Fish

    Uploaded by

    Taijpal Rawat
    This document summarizes a police investigation into the theft of fish from an aquarium shop in Delhi owned by Pummy. Two police officers, Hardyal and Sompal, question Pummy about the theft of cash and fish worth 2 lakhs. Pummy insists he only makes a modest living from the shop. Meanwhile, Sudha Mishra returns home from a trip to find her pet fish Mishti looking unwell, and suspects her niece Suman's husband of neglecting to properly care for Mishti in her absence.

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    You are on page 1of 117

    WHAT THE FISH

    Written by
    Shashank Ghosh
    Tejpal Singh Rawat
    Gurmmeet Singh

    25.04.2011

    ii.

    LIGHTFORMS

    WHAT THE FISH.


    1#

    I/E. PUMMY'S AQUARIUM


    "Oceans Eleven
    shop in a local
    discussion with
    ice pack on the

    1#

    - Equarium" A colorful board of an aquarium


    market in Delhi. Inside two cops are in
    a young 23 year old Sardar who is holding an
    side of his head. He seems shaken up.

    COP 1, SOMPAL
    Toh ab Kripal Singh yahan dukaan pe
    nahin baithte?
    PUMMY
    (Already a bit irritated)
    Jinahin. Main unka pota hoon aur
    ab ye dukaan main sambhalta hoon
    Both the cops look at each other. Cop 2 Hardyal quickly
    checks the register.
    HARDYAL
    Woh toh baat theek hai aapkipar ye
    aap hume pehle phone pe bataa
    detetoh aapka bhi time bach jaata
    aur hamaara bhi
    Pummy is now frustrated.
    PUMMY
    Dadaji ka kya lena dena chori se?
    Sompal cuts in.
    SOMPAL
    Arre hum yeh kahaan keh rahe hain
    lekin kya hai ki hum sirf senior
    citijen wale crimes hi dekhte hain.
    Ab hume report file karke doosre
    officer ko deni padegi.
    PUMMY
    Aapko jo bhi karna hai aap
    karomera do lakh ka nuksaan ho
    gaya hai! 30,000 cash aur baaki
    stock main gaya
    SOMPAL
    Stock?

    2.

    PUMMY
    Haan ji stock...jaise aur rakhte
    hain waise hi hamein bhi to
    Machchion ka stock rakhna padta
    hai.
    HARDAYAL(SUSPICIOSLY)
    Ismein Godown shodown ki to kya
    zaroorat padti hogi , koi personal
    talaab hi hoga?
    Pummy shies.
    PUMMY
    Aji kahan ...itna bhi bada dhanda
    nahi hai. Bas samajhlo ki Chaay
    paani ke paise nikal jaate hain.
    Sompal turns around to Hardayal
    SOMPAL
    (Sarcastically)
    Sir ji...Sun rahe ho, 2 laack ki
    chaay paani...mujhe pata nahi tha
    in machliyon ke dhandhe mein itna
    paisa hai...
    Hardayal leans towards Pummy.
    HARDAYAL (SUSPICIOUSLY)
    Insurance kitna ka karwaya thha?
    PUMMY
    Fish insurance kabse hone lagaa?
    HARDAYAL
    Nahi...bura maanne wali baat nahi
    hai...lekin aajkal insurance ka
    paisa lene ke liye log factory mein
    khud hi aag lagwa sakte hain toh...
    PUMMY
    By the grace of god, ek mahine se
    makhkhan ki tarah bik rahi
    thi...poore 12,000 ka turnover
    thha
    Hardayal looks around in the store.

    3.

    HARDAYAL
    Theek hai...hum aage report jama
    karte hainwoh pata
    lagaayenge...mil gayin to khabar
    kar de deinge...Sompal photo
    vegaara le le...(Turns to Pummy)
    Chai vai ke liye ladka nahin rakha
    aapne kya?
    Pummy turns away in disgust and calls out to his helper.
    PUMMY
    Vicky!
    CUT TO:
    EXT/PUMMYS SHOP
    Both Hardayal and Sompal walks back.Hardayal looks "Ocean's
    11"board again. Sompal sees Hardayal brooding.
    HARDYAL
    Main soch rya hoon ki machliyan
    kaun chura sakta hai.
    Sompal is confused.
    SOMPAL
    Sir ji. ye saale aajkal kuch bhi
    nahi chodhte.
    HARDYAL
    Phir bnhi, mari hui machliyon ke
    liye koi itni maatha phodi kyun
    karega. Han, agar zinda le gaya hai
    to saath mein paani bhi laaya hoga.
    Matlab ye kaam poore gang ka hai.
    Sompal could stop himself.
    SOMPAL
    Ke baat sai sir, Ke dimaag paya
    sai. Aapko to CBI mein hona chahiye
    tha.
    Hardayal get bit dishearten listening Sompal. He sighs.
    HARDYAL
    Ek tu hi hai Sompal jo kadar jaanta
    hai, baaki to yahan ghisaate raho.
    Chal Chalte hain, Hamein kya lena.
    Waise bhi ye hamara case to hai
    nahi.

    4.

    They get into the jeep and drives off.


    CUT TO:
    2#

    EXT: AIRPORT/ DELHI ROADS/ SUDHA MISHRA'S HOUSE

    2#

    Sudha Mishra, a striking lady around the age of 60 gets into


    a prepaid cab at the international airport. Cabby sits in
    after securing the luggage on the carrier.
    SUDHA MISHRA (WHILE WEARING HER SPECS)
    Mujhe toh samajh main nahin aaya ke
    dikki main kyon nahin rakh sakte
    saamaan?
    CABBY
    Madame CNG fit haidikki main
    nahin aayega.
    SUDHA MISHRA (LEANING OUT AND CHECKING
    THE BAGS ON TOP)
    Kuchh damage hua naatoh ek paisa
    nahin doongi!
    Cabby turns back in despair.
    CABBY
    Madam ...prepaid hai...
    Sudha doesn't give up easily.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Prepaid hai to ped pe chadega...ab
    jaldi chala, meri Mishti wait kar
    rahi hogi.
    Cabby get confused over Mishti.
    SUDHA MISHRA (CONTD)
    Raasta malum hai na Vasant Vihar
    kaya woh bhi bataana padega.
    CABBY
    Madam gaadi to chalne do.
    Cabby starts driving. She takes out her mobile phone in
    irritation and dials. The phone connects and another lady
    answers the phone.
    VASUDHA (O.S.)
    Pranam Didi

    5.

    SUDHA MISHRA
    Haan jeeti raho...arre behin ho to
    ek aadh baar khud bhi phone karke
    pooch liya karo...ki main zinda
    hoon ki mar gayi
    Just then the car hits a speed breaker. The Cabby is a bit
    late noticing it. The Cab jumps over it. Sudha screams at the
    cabby.
    SUDHA MISHRA (CONT'D)
    Kisi aur ka pata nahi par ye zaroor
    maar dega mujhe
    CABBY
    Sorry madam... wo ek dum se aa
    gaya...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Police station bhi ek dum se aa
    jayegaa...
    VASUDHA (O.S.)
    Arre kispe bhadak rahein hai didi?
    She gets back to the phone.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Insaaniyat to khatam hi ho gayi
    hai...
    VASUDHA (O.S.)
    Kya hua? Aur aap jaldi kaise laut
    aayi? Bunny kaisa hai?
    Sudha frowns.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Kaisa kya hai...bas naam ka beta
    hai...kaam to uske aise hain ki
    kehne mein bhi sharam aati hai...
    VASUDHA
    Par wo to wahan... settle ho gaya
    tha na...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Na jaane kiss jangli ladki ke saath
    Papua New Guinea mein apni zindagi
    barbaad kar raha hai...
    VASUDHA
    Jungli ladki? Didi aap bhi na...

    6.

    SUDHA MISHRA
    Wahin ke kisi jungle ki hi toh
    hai...laakh samjhaya , ab to jahan
    wo chudail kaam karti hai, achche
    khaase job ko chodh kar ussi hotel
    mein khansama ban gaya hai Vasudha
    tune kaise pakkad ke rakha hai abhi
    tak pata nahin Tu dekh haan, ye jo
    ladkiyaan dikha dikha ke ladke
    phasaati haan na... do teen saal
    ruk, jab latakne lagenge na toh
    chhod dega Bunny(In the same breath
    she turns to the cabby) saamne
    dekhaur dheere chala!
    The cabby who has been staring in the rear view mirror,
    starts looking ahead. Sudha gets back to the phone again.
    SUDHA MISHRA (CONT'D)
    Khelo aur jab jee bhar jaye to
    faink do...bilkul baap ke nakshe
    kadam par chal raha hai... baap
    mujhe chhod ke America bhaag
    gaya...
    Meanwhile another speed breaker comes along and this time the
    Cabby drives over it extra slow... but he still doesnt
    manage to go over it smoothly. Before Sudha can say anything,
    cabby turns and apologizes.
    CABBY
    Sorry madam... aaj ka din hi kharab
    hai...
    Sudha ignores him and resumes over the phone. She realizes
    that the line has been cut. She looks at the phone angrily
    and puts it back in her purse.
    SUDHA MISHRA (GASPS)
    Din to kisi ke bhi achche nahi
    hain... kone kone mein network...my
    foot... cartoon dikha dikha ke
    connections bechte rehte hain...
    Cabby finds this as an opportunity to patch it up.
    CABBY
    Aapko koi lene nahi aaya madam?
    SUDHA MISHRA (TIRING TONE)
    Budhaape ko to khud apna shareer hi
    sahara nahi deta...doosre kya
    deinge...

    7.

    CABBY
    Bilkul sahi madam... bilkul sahi
    kaha aapne...main...
    Sudha intervenes instantly
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Baaton main behla karghalat raaste
    se lekar jaayega left kyun nahin
    liya?
    Cabby panics.
    CABBY
    (Trying to speak fast so
    that she doesnt cut him)
    Madame one way hai metro ka kaam
    chal raha hai Madame pre paid
    haikoi extra charge nahin lagega
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Tu lagaake toh dekh extra charge!
    Ab aage se left lega ye ghar ke
    gali main bhi metro aa rahi hai
    The cabby swerves left without thinking, nearly hits a guy on
    the scooter.
    CUT TO:
    3#

    EXT/ VASANT KUNJ. SUDHA MISHRA'S HOUSE/DAY

    3#

    Cab halts in front of an old looking bungalow. Sudha comes


    out of the cab with some effort. Her knees are not what they
    used to be. As she steps out she spots something. The cabby
    comes to her and is about to ask her to sign a receipt. She
    puts a finger on her lips and asks him to be quiet. She
    carefully opens the zip of her bag and puts her hand deep
    inside the pile of clothes in the luggage. Cabby gives a
    horrified looks as he sees that Sudha has taken out a
    Khukhari. We see that a guy has just walked towards the
    wall of her house and is about to pee. Sudha approaches the
    guy who has just unzipped. She moves swiftly as if her weak
    knees suddenly got a bionic boost. Before he can start peeing
    Sudha screams.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Andar daal!
    The guy doesnt know what hit him. Sudha swishes the Khukhari
    with ferocity.

    8.

    SUDHA MISHRA (CONTD)


    Main kehti hoon andar daal...
    PEEING MAN
    (Zipping up and backing
    away)
    Aunty ji aunty ji sorry pehli
    baar emergency thhikabhie nahin
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Phir se dikha natoh tehni ko hi
    ped se kaat ke faink doongi...
    He starts to run. Sudha Mishra turns around to the cabby. She
    sees that the car and cabby are gone with her luggage loaded
    on the main road itself. The car is zipping away.
    SUDHA MISHRA (CONTD)
    Samaan sadak par hi chodh gaya
    mardoot.Iski Yahan nomaish
    lagaoongi kya?
    CUT TO:
    4#

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRA'S HOUSE

    4#

    An aggravated Sudha Mishra drags her luggage to the main


    entrance.
    SUDHA MISHRA (MUTTERS)
    Civic sense chodho, common sense
    bhi nahi hai...non sense hain har
    jagah...
    She halts at the main door and pants before taking out a
    bunch of keys. After some effort she picks up one. She finds
    the lock a bit tight as if someone has tampered with it. She
    steps into her house and rushes towards something. The hall
    has a full length picture of Sudha and her husband hung at
    the centre. The room hasn't changed a bit as in the picture.
    She lovingly calls out to someone.
    SUDHA MISHRA (O.S.) (CONTD)
    Mishti... come baby... how are you?
    Mama is back kiss baby...
    Sudha is in front of a fish bowl and a pretty fish is
    swimming inside. Sudha puts her finger into the tank. Fish
    doesn't respond. She tries again.
    SUDHA MISHRA (CONT'D)
    Mishti... see ma... ma kissy for
    mama

    9.

    Fish doesn't respond. She quickly takes out her mobile phone.
    She then takes a step back and looks at the fish carefully.
    The phone connects
    SUDHA MISHRA (ON PHONE) (CONT'D)
    Suman... main tere uss Nikhattu ko
    nahin chhodoongi! high
    court...(rectifies)nahi supreme
    court tak jaaungi dekhna....
    SUMAN(ON PHONE)
    Kya hua maasi?
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Arre wahi to tujhse pooch rahi
    hoon... Kyaa hua?!! Ye sawaal to
    mujhe tujhse karna chahiye. kya hua
    Mishti ko... Moti kaise ho gayi?
    Kya khilaya hai isse tere uss
    namoone ne?
    SUMAN (ON PHONE)
    Maasi please... jaise aapne
    instructions di thi, waise hi kiya
    hai...ek to bechaare ne poora
    khyaal rakha aur aap hain ki taane
    diye jaa rahi hain...
    Sudha starts counting the stripes.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Ye toh meri Mishti hai hi nahin!
    Iske toh sirf teen stripes hain!
    SUMAN
    Maasi dont talk rubbish aapne
    chashma pehna hai?
    Sudha realises that her glasses are hanging around her neck.
    She quickly wears them and starts counting.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Bahut badi ho gayi hai kyatameez
    toh hai nahin Chashma pehna hai...
    Sudha this time counts four stripes. She quickly dips her
    finger in the water and surely enough Mishti comes up and
    kisses her finger. Sudha smiles.

    10.

    SUDHA MISHRA (CONTD)


    Lo sach bolo to taane lagte hain...
    you know yahi problem hai tumhari
    generation ka...Hamari umar mein
    pahunchogi tab samajh mein aayega
    ki life kya hai...Aur ye jo tumhari
    generation ka so called falling in
    love hai na... ye actually falling
    in love nahi falling in bed hota
    hai....
    She starts to walk towards the bedroom door.
    SUDHA MISHRA (CONTD)
    Feed the Fish, Water the plants...
    kitna muskil hai? Jo ghonchu Daana
    Pani ka khayal nahin rakh sakta woh
    tere saath kya dega... Tu pata kya
    hai...
    As she turns the knob, she screams and falls back as a woman
    rushes past her growling. Her face is covered with messy long
    dark hair. She wears a dirty white apron till her knees. The
    woman runs out the front door.
    SUDHA MISHRA (CONTD)
    Chudail! Chudail! Bachao Bachao!
    Chudail!
    CUT TO:
    5#

    INT/PUMMY'S SHOP/NIGHT

    5#

    Opening Credits with song


    Shot of different fish as they are being stolen.
    LEGEND: 30 DAYS AGO
    6#

    INT/EXT: SUMIT'S OFFICE


    Its a flamboyant office of a lifestyle channel. Pierced
    navels, latest clothing, colorful ambience... A girl comes
    rushing in with a tape in her hand.
    GIRL IN THE CHANNEL
    Guys, I have to rush off for a
    shoot... koi ye tape preview kar
    sakta hai? Urgently submit karni
    hai!

    6#

    11.

    Sumit, a 28 year old guy volunteers almost immediately.


    SUMIT
    Hey Ash, main kar deta hoon yaar
    AYESHA
    Haan Sumitnahin nahin no stress
    tu rehne de guys anyone else free?
    The girl looks around. No one responds. She sighs and turns
    to Sumit.
    AYESHA (CONTD)
    Chal Sumit tu hi karde but please
    carefully kario...
    SUMIT
    Of course yaar
    AYESHA
    Ok and call me once you submit it
    in
    SUMIT
    Haan haan chill... go
    She rushes off. Sumit saunters to a desk and plays the
    cassette. Its the footage of some talent hunt. Just then he
    gets a call on his cell. A phone rings that displays, 'Su
    Calling'.
    SUMIT (CONT'D)
    Hey Su...
    SUMAN (ON PHONE)
    I am stuck!
    SUMIT
    Kya ho gaya ab?
    SUMAN (ON PHONE)
    Mujhe abhi Faruqi ne ek shoot ke
    liye confirmation diya haiMujhe
    Mumbai jaana hai for a month kal
    Sumit whips around.
    SUMIT
    Kal? Su! Sunday is Ankits bday!
    SUMAN (ON PHONE)
    Bday gayaa bhaad main...maasi ka
    kya hoga?
    (MORE)

    12.
    SUMAN (ON PHONE) (CONT'D)
    Bday to har saal aayegaa, par
    maasi to ek baar hi jaa rahi hai
    na.Unka kyaa hoga ?

    SUMIT
    Monster Maasi?
    SUMAN (ON PHONE)
    Haan, Maasi ka ghar kaun
    sambhalega? Woh bhi kal hi jaa rahi
    hain!
    SUMIT
    Arre chill yaar Ill look after
    Monsters house
    SUMAN (ON PHONE)
    Please Sumit seriously who can I
    get?
    SUMIT
    Arre main kyon nahin? Ek ghar hi
    toh hai karna kya hai?
    SUMAN (ON PHONE)
    Ek ghar hi nahin hai...Maasi ka
    ghar hai...
    SUMIT
    Oh come on yaar... tum mujhse
    shaadi kar sakti ho... trust toh
    karo...
    SUMAN (ON PHONE)
    But Sumit agar tumne ye fuck up
    kiya Monster nahin chhodegitch I
    mean Maasi
    Sumit turns around to see the monitor where the tape was
    playing. It comes to an end.
    As Sumit speaks to Suman , the tape inside the player gets
    jumbled. Monitor turns black after glitches. Sumit doesn't
    pay attention.
    SUMIT
    Relax yaar tum hamesha over react
    karti ho
    SUMAN ON PHONE
    Ok fine then be at her house at 9
    am tom. Woh tumhe approve karna
    chahengi pehle Im sure.

    13.

    Sumit is surprised to hear this.


    SUMIT
    Nine... in the morning?
    SUMAN ON PHONE
    Yes... Kal sharp subah 9 baje... 2
    baje ki flight hai unki... aur meri
    dopahar chaar baje ki. And
    please... Sumit...
    SUMIT
    Ok... ok... relax... Ill be there
    on time
    He disconnects and casually ejects the cassette.
    SUMIT (CONT'D)
    (Calls out to an office
    boy while scribbling on
    the cassette cover)
    Ye Submit kar do preview kar diya
    hai
    CUT TO:
    LEGEND: 29 DAYS AGO
    7#

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRA'S HOUSE

    7#

    Sudha is holding up a magazine. There is a centre fold


    picture of Suman in a semi nude pose. Suman is also sitting
    beside her on the couch. Sudhas on the phone waiting for
    someone to answer. Vasudhas voice comes through.
    VASUDHA (ON PHONE)
    Pranam didi
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Thode bahut sanskaar apni beti ko
    bhi de deti
    VASUDHA
    Kyun kya hua didi?
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Kya hua? Nangi photo chappi hai
    iski...
    VASUDHA
    Par didi...nangi nahin haiaur ye
    uska kaam hai...

    14.

    SUDHA MISHRA
    Iski wajah se saara khandaan
    badnaam hai. Aur isse rokne ki
    bajaye iski tarafdaari kar rahi
    hai...(Turns serious)achcha hua
    Baba iss duniya se pehle hi chale
    gaye...nahi to...
    Suman intervenes.
    SUMAN (OVERLAPPED)
    Maasi this is art aur aap nahin
    samjhoge!
    Just then the doorbell rings. Suman rushes to the main door
    and opens it. It's Sumit.
    SUMAN (CONT'D)
    Late as usual
    SUMIT
    Late kahaan hoonsavaa nau hi toh
    hue hain
    Sumit saunters in casually and Sudha notices him. Suman
    introduces him to her aunty.
    SUMAN
    Maasi...Sumit...Mera
    fiance...maine bataya tha na
    Sumit steps forward to touch Sudhas feet. Sudha immediately
    scolds him and pulls her feet away.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Uh huh...joote andar lekar aa
    gaye...bahar utaar ke aao.
    Sumit immediately steps back to take his shoes off. Sudha
    meanwhile updates her sister.
    SUDHA
    (Back to talking on the phone)
    Ye kis jhontu ko pakad liya teri
    beti ne. Dekh liya zyada chhoot
    dene ka nateejaarre hum log uss
    gharane se talluk rakhte hain,
    jahan saans bhi pooch ke li jaati
    thi aur teri beti ko dekh, apne
    boyfriend se aise mila rahi hai
    jaise
    VASUDHA(ON PHONE)
    Didi damaad hai wo...

    15.

    Sumit comes back in, Suman glances at him nervously. He asks


    Suman where the loo is. She points him to the left. Sudha
    eyes him in suspicion.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Huaa to nahi hai na abhi...jab hoga
    tab dekh leinge.
    Suman intervenes and take the phone from Sudha.
    SUMAN (TO HER MOTHER)
    Ma, we'll call you back. (To Sudha)
    Bas maasi... aapko jaana nahin hai.
    Sudha fires Suman.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Arre usse wahan kyun bhej diya.
    Bahar wala hai na visitors ke liye
    Then Sudha screams louder to make sure Sumit hears. Sumit
    loudly acknowledges every command from the loo.
    SUDHA MISHRA (CONT'D)
    Seat kharaab mat karna... lift the
    seat, "geela mat karna"; "flush
    before and after.
    SUMIT
    Ji aunty, yes aunty!
    As he is about to pee, he notices an entire wall in the
    bathroom with wet money stuck on it. As the notes dry they
    are falling down on a white sheet. He pees carefully and
    flushes. He tries touching the stuck notes out of curiosity,
    just then Sudha Mishra screams. Sumit get puzzled as if he is
    been seen by some camera inside.
    SUDHA MISHRA (O.S.)
    Andar paison ko haath mat lagaana,
    gin ke chipkaaye hain!
    Sumit emerges from the bathroom and beckons Suman quietly.
    SUMIT
    Paison ka kya chakkar hai?
    SUMAN
    Kyun, kya hua?
    SUMIT
    Nahi andar toilet mein notes chipke
    hue hain...

    16.

    Suman smirks.
    SUMAN
    Maasi kehti hain ki ye paise pata
    nahi kin kin hathon mein jaate
    hain...to is tarah dhone se leprosy
    nahi hoti...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Ye khusasr pusar mere jaane ke baad
    kar lena...pehle kuch important
    chezein samajh lo...
    Both Suman and Sumit immediately stand in attention. Sudha
    drags her suitcase from the bed room and locks it properly.
    She carefully takes the duplicate keys out of her purse and
    gives it to Suman who further passes it to Sumit. Sudha Looks
    at Sumit.
    SUDHA MISHRA (CONT'D)
    Dekho main tumhein nahi
    jaanti...main apni life mein pehli
    baar itne samay ke liye ghar ke
    bahar jaa rahi hoon...tum Suman ke
    jo bhi ho, iss ghar ki
    responsibility ab tumhari hai.
    Toilet mujhe neat clean chahiye. jo
    bhi karo, seat utha ke karna.
    SUMIT
    Ji aunty...aap befikra rahiye...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Tum ho isisliye to fikra ho rahi
    hai. Ye bartan jahan par, jaise
    hain, mujhe waise hi milne
    chahiye...
    Suman loses it.
    SUMAN
    Oh come on maasi...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Tu chup kar...gas lighter mujhe
    yahin milna chahiye, mujhe maachis
    ki tiliyaan dekh kar irritation
    hoti hai...Try not to sleep here
    and specially in the bed room. Agar
    sona hai to bed ke neechey extra
    gadda hai, usse nikaal kar hall
    mein so jana. Agar mere bed par koi
    aur soye to mujhe allergy ho jaati
    hai. Samjhe?

    17.

    Suman makes a face whereas Sumit nods again.


    SUMIT
    Ji aunty... main bhi Suman ko bolta
    rehta hoon, ke humme gadda nahin
    share karna chahiye...
    Sudha looks at Suman and shakes her head in disapproval.
    Sudha then takes Sumit to the aquarium.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Ye meri Mishti hai...
    Sumit puts his face near the bowl and affectionately calls.
    Sumit puts his face near the bowl and kiss it. Mishti is
    horrified to see the convex thick big lips. She turns to
    another direction.
    SUMIT
    Mishti...
    Sudha stops him.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Mishti strangers se dar jaati hai.
    Dont mess with her. Chaar saal se
    hain mere paas. Mauritious se laayi
    thi(picks up a bottle) ye iska
    fish food hai. Har roz raat ko aath
    baje ye adha dhakkan dena. yaad
    rahe aadhaa...kam ya zyada hua to
    Mishti ka pet upset ho jata hai.
    Har paanch din mein bowl ka paani
    badal dena. Ye chlorine hai, saaf
    paani mein ek dhakkan mix
    karna...zyada daalne par poisoning
    bhi ho sakti hai. Uff... (she looks
    at Mishti helplessly)main jaa kyun
    rahi hoon...pata nahi tum...
    SUMIT
    Aunty ho jayegaa...aap bilkul
    tension mat lo...main sab kar
    doongaa...I love fish
    Sudha stares at him.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Ye money plant hai, mera money
    plant. Paanch saal pehle main chura
    ke laayi thi Sheela ke yahan se...

    18.

    SUMAN
    Kaun wo Rohtak wali Sheela aunty?
    SUDHA MISHRA (SNAPS)
    Sheela Dixit, Miranda House mein
    hum saath saath padhte the.
    Personaly jaanti hoon...roz subah
    aath baje iska paani change kar
    dena. Kam se kam ek ghante tak isse
    baat karnano obscenity or
    violence. Short stories ho ya
    gaanechalenge.
    SUMIT (QUIPS)
    Arabian nights sunau? I am really
    good narrating it.
    Sudha and Suman looks at Sumit furiously. Sumit smiles, he
    gives Suman a reassuring nod. Sudha is about to go to her
    suitcase, Sumit quickly rushes over and picks it up.
    SUMIT (CONTD)
    Maasi aap aaraam se jaao. Your
    house is in capable hands.
    SUDHA
    I am not your maasi
    CUT TO:
    8#

    EXT/ SUDHA MISHRA'S HOUSE

    8#

    Sumit puts the luggage in the trunk of the taxi. Sudha fires
    some instructions.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Carrier kyon nahin hai gaadi main?
    Aise thoos raha hai samaan, kuchh
    toota na toh gadi japt karwaa
    doongi...
    Cabby cautiously puts the luggage inside the trunk. Sudha
    sits in the cab. As the cabby starts the car. Sudha turns to
    Sumit.
    SUDHA MISHRA (CONT'D)
    Remember
    SUMIT
    Feed the Fish, Water the Plants
    Haan aunty. Done samjho

    19.

    SUDHA
    (Stares at Sumit, but
    orders the driver)
    Chalo
    Sumit waves not overly worried, he has a calm smile on his
    face. They see off Sudha Mishra. Suman sighs heavily.
    SUMAN
    Tum sab samajh gaye na. Dekho its a
    bit of a task...
    SUMIT
    Relax dekha I think Maasi liked
    me
    SUMAN
    Sumit Tumne Maasi ko dekh na?
    Please just Feed the Fish & Water
    the Plants. Uske ilaawa kuchh bhi
    touch mat karnaek din ki baat
    nahin hai. One whole month!
    SUMIT
    Yes baba yes dont worry nothing
    will happen tum apne shoot pe
    focus karo...
    Yes baba yes tum jaanti ho mujhe ,
    ek baari jo maine responsibilities
    uthali, phir main khud ki bhi nahi
    sunta.
    SUMAN
    And absolutely no friends haanek
    bhi nahin
    Khudki mat sunna par meri baat kaan
    khol ke sun lo...absolutely no
    friends haanek bhi nahin
    SUMIT
    Friends kyon aayenge yahan pe Su?
    Tum bhi na kuchh bhi
    CUT TO:
    LEGEND: 25 DAYS AGO

    20.

    9#

    INT/EXT - SUDHA MISHRA'S HOUSE

    9#

    A cordon yellow tape is put across the fish and money plant
    section with a small paper sign saying, Do not Disturb. The
    fish isnt seen in the bowl. A party is happening at the
    house. People have grabbed their corners. A couple is in
    discussion near the money plant.
    GIRL IN THE PARTY
    Tune phir shuru kardi na
    SMOKING GUY
    Ek drink yaarkisi ka birthday hai
    GIRL IN THE PARTY
    Tu agar piyegaa to main tere saath
    ghar nahi jaungi
    The guy dramatically spills the glass full of booze into the
    money plant.
    SMOKING GUY
    Ye le, bas?
    GIRL IN THE PARTY
    (Still unsatisfied)
    Yehi baat paanch minute pehle maan
    jaate...toh problem thhi? Mood
    upset zaroor karna hota hai
    The guys helplessly sighs takes a drag and taps the ash into
    the money plant pot.
    Near them a couple of guys are standing overhearing this
    conversation. Among them is Ravi, a 29 year old guy with a
    moustache.
    RAVI
    Le sun raha hai Sud bhi gayatum
    saaron ko ho kya gaya haiek ek kar
    ke sab ki wicket down
    DINESH
    Tu reh gaya bas
    RAVI
    Meri khushhaal zindagi tere se
    dekhi nahi jaa rahi kya? Apni gaadi
    ka toh ek hi asool haihar baari,
    nayi sawaari(Smiles)
    Near the music console. Sumit along with the birthday boy
    Ankit finally have managed to get the music going.

    21.

    A small yet perky girl, Meenal has just picked up two drinks
    from the bar. She likes the music so she starts grooving.
    Two thieves appear behind the bushes in the nearby park. Main
    Thief is surprised seeing the flashing lights inside the
    house. Main thief gets angry.
    MAIN THIEF (SARCASM)
    Chote...kitni baar samjhaya ki
    chori karne ke liye ghar ka khali
    hona zaroori hota hai.
    THIEF (HORRIFIED TONE)
    Ustaad confirm report hai, budhiya
    ek mahine ke liye bahar gayi hai.
    MAIN THIEF (WHISPERING TONE)
    To andar tere rishtedaar naach rahe
    hain...Chal ab kahin aur haath saaf
    karte hain. Bohani Kharaab karwa
    di.
    She quickly hands Ravi both the glasses and starts dancing.
    People turn to watch. The fish also comes to the front of the
    bowl. Back near the entrance, another couple Neerav & Gopa
    arrive. Neerav is an unassuming young man & Gopa looks
    slightly out of place as shes dressed in a long kurta over
    her jeans. Though not dressed for the party, Gopa is an
    extremely attractive girl. They walk in holding hands. Neerav
    looks around and spots Ankit, he points him out to Gopa. Gopa
    meanwhile is amazed seeing Meenal gyrating on the dance
    floor, Ravi has just joined her and they are creating quite a
    scene.
    NEERAV
    (Screams out)
    Burday boy!
    ANKIT (HAPPILY DRUNK)
    Arre you made it
    Ankit hugs Neerav.
    NEERAV
    Ankit... this is Gopa. Gopa Ankit
    Gopa quietly says.
    GOPA
    (Looking around)
    Hi, Happy Birthday, badaa achcha
    ghar hai aapka

    22.

    ANKIT
    Thanks par mera nahin hai Party
    toh cancel karne vaala thha
    mainghar main painting chal rahi
    aur bahaar jaane ki aukaat nahin
    thhi (laughs) Sumit se baat
    hui(points out to Sumit) toh kehta
    yahan karleuski maasi ka hai!
    NEERAV
    (Turns to Gopa) Sumit bhi same
    batch ka haiaao introduce karaata
    hoon
    Suddenly someone calls out from behind them. Its Ravi
    RAVI
    Arre humse bhi to introduce kara
    do. Hum bhi batchmate hain
    Neerav steps forward to hug Ravi.
    NEERAV
    Arrebade bhai!
    RAVI
    (Hugging him but looking
    at Gopa, whispers in his
    ear)
    Oh Chikneandhe ke haath ye bater
    kahaan se lag gayi? Kahaan se udaa
    layaa isse?
    Neerav smiles awkwardly. Ravi leans forward to hug Gopa, who
    isnt ready for his embrace but doesnt have an option.
    RAVI (CONTD)
    Hi, Im Ravi
    NEERAV
    Ravi yeh Gopa hai
    Gopa just nods at him and feebly smiles.
    RAVI
    Kya pee raha hai? Main lekar aata
    hoon
    NEERAV
    Arre nahinnahinhum lete hain na
    (he quickly holds Gopas hand and
    starts walking towards the bar)
    Sumit se bhi toh mil loon

    23.

    RAVI
    Haan haan bilkul
    Neerav nervously pulls Gopa away as Ravi deliberately starts
    to groove to the music. Gopa gives him a glance as they walk
    away. They cross Meenal who is now in a trance on the dance
    floor.
    NEERAV
    (Calls out to Sumit)
    S-u-m-i-t!
    Sumit turns to Neerav and Gopa and smiles.
    SUMIT
    Tu kahan se aa gaya? Tu toh
    Dehradun main thha?
    NEERAV
    (Hugging Sumit) Saharanpur
    SUMIT
    Haan haan Sahranpur (He turns to
    Gopa and extends his hand) Hi
    Sumit
    GOPA
    (Shakes hands)
    Hi nice house
    SUMIT
    Thanks Maasi ka hai shes gone,
    mahine ke liye
    NEERAV
    Kya baat kar raha hai yaar? You
    have to help us out
    SUMIT
    Haan haanbol na
    NEERAV
    (Dragging him a little bit to the
    side away from the fish bowl)
    Mujhe Gopa ko rakhne ke liye jagah
    chahiye yaarwoh ghar se bhaag ke
    aayee hai
    SUMIT
    Kya baat kar raha hai!

    24.

    NEERAV
    Haan yaarmain bhi prepared nahin
    thhabus a few days main figure
    out kar loonga
    Sumit looks towards Gopa who is now looking at fish bowl.
    (She taps the fish bowl; the fish disappears to the back of
    the bowl again)
    SUMIT
    Theek hai yaarreh lepar
    dudebahut sambhalna padega
    NEERAV
    Kya ghar ko? Haan haan hum dono hi
    toh hai
    SUMIT
    Do conditions Suman ko pataa nahin
    chalna chahiye aur you have to Feed
    the Fish and Water the plants
    NEERAV
    Done... done koi tension nahin
    SUMIT
    Tu hai isliye tension nahin le raha
    hoonRoz aath baje aadha dhakan
    fish food dena aur har teen chaar
    din main paani badalna haiThodi si
    chlorine bhi daal diyo
    NEERAV
    Arre maine bahut fish paali hain
    SUMIT
    Avein hi...tune kahan se paal li.
    Teri to brahmin family hai.
    Complete Vegitarian.
    NEERAV
    Abbe khaane ki manahi hai, paalne
    ki thodi hai.
    SUMIT
    Oh...I see.
    As he says this the music dies down and a group of friends
    step out of the kitchen with a cake in their hands singing.
    GROUP
    Happy Birthday to you!

    25.

    Slowly everyone starts to join in. Sumit hurriedly gives


    instructions to Neerav.
    SUMIT
    Money plant main bhi paani daalna
    aur last thing dont sleep inside.
    Extra gadda hai bed ke neeche use
    that aur baaki kam se kam cheezein
    hilaanaaur andar waala loo main
    bhool ke bhi mat ghus jaana
    NEERAV
    (A little surprised with
    these instructions but
    nods along)
    Bilkul bilkul
    Someone screams out at them.
    GIRL
    Come guys jaldi!
    SUMIT
    (Takes out the key and gives it to
    him) Chal cake kaatein! Baaki
    instructions baad main
    Neerav takes the key happily.
    CUT TO:
    11

    INT/ - SUDHA MISHRA'S HOUSE

    11

    The party has died down. The house is in a mess. There is


    silence. Only the sound of the oxygen pump from the fish bowl
    can be heard. Neerav & Gopa are in the bedroom. They have
    laid out the gadda on the floor.
    GOPA
    Aggar Sumit haan nahin karta toh?
    NEERAV
    Bahut dost hainkahin na kahin
    arrangement ho jaata
    GOPA
    (Cuddling up to him)
    Tum ho hi itne sweetsab tumhe like
    karte hain
    Neerav is turned on and starts playing with her hair.

    26.

    GOPA (SUDDENLY WHISPERING) (CONTD)


    Neerav
    He continues to make advances, she squirms.
    GOPA (CONTD)
    Kab bataoge ghar pe?
    NEERAV
    Kal hi(Now completely in lust,
    starts to kiss her)
    Gopa continues to keep him at bay.
    GOPA
    Tumhara ghar bhi aisa hi hai?
    NEERAV
    (Trying to score)
    Issa bhi badha
    Gopa smiles.
    GOPA
    Really? (She gives him a quick kiss
    on his lips and hugs him tightly)
    Neerav sits helplessly. Gopa ruffles Neerav's hair.
    GOPA (DREAMY TONE) (CONT'D)
    Yaad hai jab hum pehli baar mile
    thhe...
    Neerav is disinterested.
    GOPA (CONT'D)
    Haridwar wali bus mein...main
    Saharanpur se apni friend ke saath
    aayi thi...aur tum apne official
    tour par. Shikanji ki dukaan par
    mile the. bas chal padi aur maine
    jaldbaazi main shikanji tumhare
    oopar gira di.
    Neerav is continuously rubbing his face on her shoulder.
    GOPA (CONTD)
    Maine sorry sorry bolapar tum
    bilkul bhi upset nahin hue In fact
    tumne agle stop pe mere liye doosri
    shikanji bhi le di

    27.

    NEERAV
    Jaan, zindagi bhar shikanji
    pilaunga
    She shrugs her shoulder pushing him away and then quickly
    lies down in his lap.
    GOPA
    Hmmmhamesha saath raheinge
    NEERAV
    (Sighs, and plays with her hair)
    Haan jaanu
    GOPA
    You love me na?
    Neerav looks down at her with affection. She is like a little
    child.
    GOPA (CONTD)
    (Sounding very sleepy)
    Babu light toh band kar do
    Neerav carefully places her head on the pillow. He gets up.
    Goes to the hall. Switches off the lights around the house...
    by mistake he switches off the oxygen pump of the fish bowl.
    The oxygen pump stops pumping. The fish is steady. Its pitch
    dark now. Neeravs voice can be heard, hes still trying to
    score.
    NEERAV
    Uffumma..umma
    Suddenly there is sound of a small slap.
    GOPA
    Mat karo na...
    NEERAV
    Sorry...
    CUT TO
    LEGEND: 24 DAYS AGO
    12

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE/ MORNING

    12

    Neerav wakes up the next morning. Gopa sleeps blissfully next


    to him. He gets up with a smile of a man in love. He heads to
    the loo in the hall. He passes by the fish bowl and stops.
    The fish seems to be struggling.

    28.

    Its vertical and looks like its trying to come up for air.
    Neerav looks at it perplexed and then he realizes that the
    oxygen pump is off. He quickly finds the switch and puts it
    on. The pump springs back to life and in a moment so does the
    fish. Neerav feels the fish is giving him a dirty look.
    Neerav is about to step into the loo when the doorbell rings.
    He goes up to the door and opens it. Ravi rushes in clutching
    his stomach.
    RAVI
    Hat hat hat emergency hai
    Ravi goes into the loo and shuts the door.
    NEERAV
    Yahan kya kar raha hai?
    RAVI
    Potty! (He makes a loud grunting
    noise)
    NEERAV
    Acha hua bata diya! Idhar kyon aaya
    hai subah subah? Exhaust chalaya
    hai na?
    RAVI
    Samjha kar chikne Ek ghar ki deal
    chal rahi thhi pados main kahan
    jata main(Grunts)kal ki fish main
    kuchh toh gadbad thhi(Grunts
    again)
    Neerav is irritated.
    NEERAV
    Toh kam khaaya kar na! Jaldi
    karmujhe bhi jaana hai!
    RAVI
    Time lagega boss.
    Neerav is now hopping around. He thinks for a moment. Decides
    to head to the inside loo. Sudha Mishra watches him from the
    portrait. As he enters the room, Gopa has just about woken
    up.
    GOPA
    (Sleepily) Good morning kisse
    jhagad rahe ho?
    Heads into the loo.

    29.

    NEERAV
    Ravi
    GOPA
    Yahan mat jaomanaa kiya thha Sumit
    ne
    As Neerav steps in, he notices the spotless bathroom.
    NEERAV
    Choice nahin hai
    He carefully lifts the seat it slips from his hand and bangs
    down. He nervously lifts it again and pees. His face relaxes.
    After peeing, he carefully examines the loo, spots a pubic
    hair, drops it in and flushes. He steps out Gopa is folding
    the gadda. His phone rings. He sees its his boss calling. He
    signals Gopa to be quiet. Gopa looks around because she
    wasnt saying anything anyway.
    NEERAV (CONTD)
    (Answers) Hello sir...
    BOSS (ON PHONE)
    Neerav, tum dilli main ho na?
    NEERAV
    Uhhh yes sir...
    BOSS (ON PHONE)
    Good good shaam ko tumhe Madurai
    jaana hai
    NEERAV
    Sir, aaj shaam ko?
    He looks around towards Gopa but he realizes shes not in the
    room anymore. He looks out towards the hall and sees that
    shes talking with Ravi, whos stepped out of the loo.
    BOSS (ON PHONE)
    Haan, aaj Kal subah Pfizer ki
    conference haiaur main attend
    nahin kar sakta so you & Bhushan
    have to go
    NEERAV
    (Still looking towards
    Gopa and Ravi, Gopa is
    now laughing at some joke
    that Ravi cracked)
    Sir I am getting married sir

    30.

    BOSS (ON PHONE)


    Arre wah...congratulations
    Neeravshaadi ke baad job chhod
    rahe ho kya?
    NEERAV
    Sir! (Realizes what the boss hinted
    at) No sir
    BOSS
    Chalo thats good Anuradha se apni
    travel details le lena all the
    best son
    NEERAV
    Par at least Bhushan nahi sir
    please... Calcutta waale tour mein
    bhi wo clients ke paas kam aur
    Sonagachi mein zyada jaata tha...
    BOSS
    Dekho tumhare Bhushan ke saath jo
    bhi issues hain... I dont know but
    our meeting should not suffer.
    Learn to deal with things Neerav.
    Now carry on.
    He hangs up. Gopa is walking towards him. She seems happy.
    GOPA
    Main Ravi ke liye chai banaa rahi
    hoonaap bhi lenge
    He just looks at her. Ravi lounges on the sofa outside.
    CUT TO:
    LEGEND: SOME HOURS LATER
    13

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE/ LATE AFTERNOON

    13

    Neerav is sitting near the fish bowl. Gopa is seated beside.


    Hes desperately trying to get through to someone on the
    phone. The phone is ringing. Finally the phone is answered.
    ANKIT (ON PHONE)
    (Sounding groggy) Haan...
    NEERAV
    Hello... Ankit...yaar ek important
    kaam hai...

    31.

    ANKIT (ON PHONE)


    Bol...
    NEERAV
    Yaar wo Gopa hai na...
    ANKIT (ON PHONE)
    Kaun?
    NEERAV (WHISPERING)
    Gopa yaar... meri girlfriend
    ANKIT (ON PHONE)
    Girlfriend?
    NEERAV
    Ankit...Neerav bol raha hoon...kal
    raat ko milaayee thhi na...Gopa
    meri girlfriend!
    ANKIT (ON PHONE)
    Huh...haan...haan...ek min ek min
    hold kar (Loud sound of him
    throwing up)
    Neerav cringes. Ankit continues to puke. Neerav disconnects
    the phone. He looks at Gopa who is curious to know. Neerav
    tries handling it manly.
    NEERAV
    Zyaada pee li lagta hai...Dinesh ko
    try karta hoon
    GOPA
    Tum usse do phone kar chuke ho.
    Neerav remembers.
    NEERAV
    Oh...haan...saala Sumit bhi phone
    nahin uttha raha...
    Gopa leans on him.
    GOPA
    Par main kyun nahi chal sakti...
    NEERAV
    Work trip hai and that too Madurai
    main...main akela bhi travel nahin
    kar raha hoon, nahin toh chance le
    leta...aur ja bhi raha hai toh woh
    Bhushan...chhep hai ek number ka...

    32.

    Just then the door bell rings. Neerav opens the door. Its
    Ravi again, he enters with a swagger. Hes got a packet of
    Samosas and Jalebis in one hand and a plastic bag with some
    beer bottles in it.
    NEERAV (CONTD)
    Ab kya hua?
    Ravi puts the packet in Neeravs hands.
    RAVI
    Chinkne tu toh badaa lucky hai by
    god...deal bhi ho gayi aur ye dekh
    advance bhi mil gaya...
    He carefully puts the beer bottles on the table. He then sees
    that Neerav is not too happy about it.
    RAVI (CONTD)
    Ek toh bin maange treat de raha
    hoon, uppar se tu sadaa padaa hai?
    Gopa defends him.
    GOPA
    Nahin...thode tense hain kyunki
    inhein zaroori kaam se Madurai jana
    hai...aur mujhe le jaa nahin
    sakte...
    Neerav is uncomfortable as to why Gopa has revealed this.
    RAVI
    Oho...to ye baat hai...bhai isiliye
    maine ye naukari ki bimaari paali
    hi nahi. Hamaara kaam achha
    hai...apni marzi ke
    maalik...nuksaan munaafa sab
    apna...waise bhi ye naukri wale
    ...I mean dus se paanch waaale
    middle class mentality ke log hote
    thode aise hi hain...(seeing
    Neerav) nahi mera matlab tujhse
    nahi hai.Inhein saath kyun nahi le
    ja sakta hai bhai?
    NEERAV
    Official meet hai kaise le
    jaaoon...
    RAVI
    Phir iska matlab ye akeli...?

    33.

    NEERAV (PLAYING SMART)


    Nahi maine Ankit se baat ki hai...
    GOPA
    (Looks away annoyed)
    Ankit to kisi ko pehchanne ki halat
    mein bhi nahi hai...
    RAVI (LAUGHS)
    Kal jo shots pe shots takaa raha
    thha...ab mujhe mat kahiyo
    bhai...waise hi bahut kaam hai
    mujhe...
    Neeravs phone rings, its Sumit. Neerav smiles in relief as
    he answers.
    NEERAV
    Haan Sumit...kahan hai tu?
    SUMIT
    (Speaking in a hush tone) Meeting
    main thha... ghar theek hai na?
    NEERAV
    Haan haan yaar...ghar theek
    hai...woh
    SUMIT
    Money plant?
    NEERAV
    Haan haan!
    SUMIT
    Fish..fish theek hai?
    NEERAV
    Everything is ok, but sun...
    SUMIT
    Pagal hai kya...baar baar phone
    kyun kar raha hai phir...fatti padi
    hai idhar...main baad mein karta
    hoon
    Sumit disconnects. Neerav looks at the phone and then towards
    Gopa and Ravi who are both staring at him.
    NEERAV
    Uhhh...woh call back karne waala
    hai...abhi...

    34.

    Ravi just shakes his head and smirks. He opens a beer bottle
    with his kadda. Hands it to Neerav.
    RAVI
    Chal chikne... goli maar...tu bhai
    hai...main hoon na...tu bhi kya
    yaad rakhega...
    He looks towards Gopa who shrugs her shoulders. Neerav is
    tense.
    CUT TO:
    LEGEND: SOME HOURS LATER
    14

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE

    14

    Neerav is all set to leave. Hes giving some final


    instructions to Gopa.
    NEERAV
    (Pointing at some brochures) Ghar
    main hi rehna...ye kuchh home
    delivery ke menu hain...aur kiraane
    ki dukaan ka number bhi likha hua
    hai. Darwaaza dekh ke kholna...ye
    Dilli hai...
    She touches his feet and puts her hand over his forehead. He
    turns around to leave. He turns back.
    NEERAV (CONTD)
    Suno...wo machli ko daana...
    GOPA
    Tum chinta mat karo...
    NEERAV
    Gopa...you are mine...I love you...
    He hugs her tightly. Neerav leaves in despair. Gopa shuts the
    door carefully and turns. Sudha Mishra is eyeing Gopa from
    the portrait, the fish too seems to be looking towards her.
    Its 8pm. The money plant already seems to be losing color
    and drooping. She approaches the fish bowl and picks up the
    fish food when the door bell rings. She cautiously approaches
    the door and peeps through the key hole. It's Ravi. Gopa
    thinks to herself for a moment before opening the door. Ravi
    is standing there with couple of more beer cans and a
    bouquet. Gopa is surprised.

    35.

    GOPA
    Arre aap...wo abhi abhi gaye
    hain...
    RAVI
    Dekha...I mean dekha nahin...wo
    doosri side se gaya hoga, nahi to
    mil jata.
    Gopa stands confused. Ravi barges inside the house. Places
    the beer cans on the table while opening one for himself.
    RAVI (CONTD)
    Wo main idhar se nikal raha tha,
    socha tumse poochta chaloon ki sab
    theek to hai...tumhein kuch chahiye
    to nahi?
    GOPA
    Nahi...
    Ravi quips.
    RAVI
    Nahi mera matlab hai, dar-war to
    nahi lag raha hai na...waise iss
    area mein koi tension nahi
    hai....bahut achcha record hai
    iska...Pichle bees saalon mein bas
    sirf char-paanch rape aur abhi
    pichle mahine hi bas ek hi murder
    hua hai yahan... Otherwise Dilli ka
    sabse posh aur safe area hai ye...
    Gopa smiles nervously at the facts Ravi has given.
    RAVI (CONTD)
    Aur mere jaisa banda saath ho to
    tension kyun lena ji...hain? Akhir
    bachpan ka dost hi kaam aaya na...
    chaubees carat shudh sona hoon
    main...aankh band karke vishwaas
    kar sakte ho...tabhi to chhodhti
    nahi hain...
    GOPA
    Kaun?

    36.

    RAVI
    Girlfriends ji...pappa aur mummy
    ladkiyaan dikha dikha ke thak gaye
    lekin bande ka khud ka database
    itna strong hai ki samajh mein nahi
    aata ki parents ki sunu ya apne dil
    ki...(He points to the bouquet)
    Abhi bhi ek candidate se mil ke aa
    raha hoon...
    Gopa finds this amusing.
    GOPA
    Main toh aapse poochne hi vaali
    thhi...ke aapki abhi tak shaadi
    nahin hui? Aap toh senior hain na
    Neerav ji ke?
    RAVI
    (Ravi quickly retorts back)
    Senior sirf experience main...do
    mahine chhota hi hoon chikne se...
    (He opens a beer can)... aur waise
    aajkal kahan hai wo shaadi
    sanskaron waali baat...sabko bas
    ussi se matlab hai...
    GOPA
    Kisse?
    RAVI
    Sahi kaha aapne...sabko pehli
    meeting ke baad bas kiss chahiye
    aur usske baad...aap to jaanti hi
    hain....
    Gopa feels uncomfortable. She keeps a cushion on her lap.
    RAVI (CONTD)
    Kya karoon...na chahte hue bhi agar
    galti se kisi ko chhoo liyaa to in
    ungliyon ka jadoo chal jata
    hai...meri ek girlfriend to kehti
    hai ki in unglion ko jisne chhua,
    samjho uska kaam huaa...(He laughs)
    Gopa nervously laughs along. She stands up and starts to head
    to the kitchen.
    GOPA
    Aap paani leinge?
    Gopa gets into the kitchen area. Ravi follows. Gopa is
    cautious of any intervention by Ravi.

    37.

    RAVI
    Kabhi kabhi sochta hoon Gopa
    ji...har kisi ki kismat mein aap
    jaisi sunder aur susheel ladki
    thodi na likhi hoti hai...ab to
    Neerav se jalan hone lagi hai by
    god. Dekhiye na shareer par ek baal
    ke bina bhi usse aap jaisi achchi
    ladki mili hai.aur yahan (rubbing
    his hairy chest)makhmali galichaa
    hone ke baad bhi koi aisi nahi jo
    iss par apna sir rakh kar sachcha
    pyaar kar sake.
    Gopa swings around and offers him the glass of water. Ravi
    touches her hand while receiving it. Gopa cautiously pulls
    her hands away. Ravi gulps the water in one go.
    RAVI (HANDS OVER THE GLASS) (CONTD)
    Pyaas bujhaane ke liye shukriya...
    GOPA
    (Coldly)
    Wahin rakh dijiye, main utha
    loongi...aap ko der ho rahi
    hogi?(sarcasm)
    Ravi senses maybe hes gone too far. He picks up the beer
    cans.
    RAVI
    Chalta hoon Gopa ji...koi kaam ho
    to bande ko yaad kijiyega... paanch
    minute se zyada nahi loonga.
    Gopa just nods. She comes to the main door to see him off.
    Ravi turns. Gopa shuts the door and breathes easy.
    CUT TO:
    15

    EXT/ VASANT KUNJ/EMPTY ROAD

    15

    Ravi walks to his car. Sits inside. Looks at himself in the


    mirror. Shakes his head.
    RAVI
    Kya karta hai Ravi...pitne waale
    kaam...
    He then opens the dash board. Takes out three empty coke
    cans. He then takes out the leftover chicken lollypops and
    stuffs into the coke cans. From under the seat he picks out a
    small pouch.

    38.

    RAVI (CONTD)
    Kaam karna hai...toh fool proof
    kar...
    As a dog howls, Ravi walks back to the house quietly. The
    road is almost empty. He begins to place things around the
    house on the outside. At the loo ventilator he places the tin
    can with the waste meat. He then carefully reaches the
    bedroom window and peeps into it. Gopa is snuggling into bed.
    Ravi smiles and then ties the empty cans to the outside of
    the window. Then he thumps and has a semi whispered
    conversation with himself. Just before leaving the window, he
    taps it hard. Inside Gopa hears the whispers. She quickly
    rushes to the loo where she hears shuffling sounds; she
    stifles a shriek. We see rats going at the meat in the can.
    Gopa calls Neerav. Neerav answers after the first ring.
    NEERAV (ON PHONE)
    Hi...abhi se miss kar rahi ho...bas
    board kar hi raha hoon...phone
    karne vaala thha...
    GOPA (HORRIFIED TONE)
    Neerav meri baat suno pehle! Yahan
    kuch gadbad ho rahi hai...mujhe
    bahut dar lag raha hai...tum mujhe
    akela kyon chhod gaye?
    NEERAV (ON PHONE)
    (Panicking) Kya hua, kya hua?
    GOPA
    (Whispering) Koi hai
    bahaar...aawaazein aa rahi
    hai...main kya karoon?
    NEERAV (ON PHONE)
    Darwaaze khidkiyaan band kar
    lo...bahaar mat jaana. Main abhi
    Ravi ko phone karta hoon!
    He disconnects. Gopa checks the windows and door.
    CUT TO:
    16

    EXT/ VASANT KUNJ

    16

    Ravi receives a call in his car. He smiles, lets the phone


    ring a couple of times then picks up the phone yawning.
    RAVI
    Hello...

    39.

    NEERAV (ON PHONE)


    Bade bhai...so gaye thhe kya?
    RAVI
    Ek bhala aadmi aadhi raat ko aur
    kya karta hai?
    NEERAV (ON PHONE)
    (Speaking hurriedly)
    Oh ho...sorry sorry. Par ek
    emergency hai...aap ek baar Maasi
    ke ghar jaa sakte ho kya? Sirf ek
    chakar maar aao. Gopa ghabra rahi
    hai...
    We can hear flight attendants announcing passengers to switch
    off their phones.
    RAVI (YAWNING)
    Arre haan bilkul yaar...chhota bhai
    hai tu...main dekhta hoon...fikar
    mat kar...
    NEERAV (ON PHONE)
    Acha bye... flight take off kar
    rahi hai...
    Ravi disconnects the phone and cheers at his victory and
    starts the car and revs it. He keeps looking at the digital
    clock in it. Its 10:55 PM. As it strikes 11, Ravi turns the
    car with a screech and heads towards Sudha Mishras house. He
    puts on deodorant and takes out Long lasting Pleasure Pills
    from his dash board and puts it into his pocket. He
    dramatically rushes to the door.
    CUT TO:
    17

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE/NIGHT

    17

    Inside, Gopa is sitting in the center of the hall clutching


    her knees to her chest. The doorbell rings. She cautiously
    approaches the door. She peeps through the peep hole to see
    Ravi. She opens the door in relief.
    RAVI
    (Huffing)
    Kya hua?
    GOPA
    Kuch log thhe...maine unke awaazein
    suni...

    40.

    RAVI
    Kahan?
    GOPA
    (Pointing in a semi circle)
    Bahaar...bedroom ya kitchen ki
    taraf.
    RAVI
    Tum andar wait karo...main dekhke
    aata hoon...
    He shuts the door and steps out. Ravi smiles broadly and
    whistles. He checks for the wind, then clips a piece of
    wrapping foil outside the bedroom window. He does a small jig
    for a while. Ravi reaches the door and heads back in. As he
    turns he glances the two shimmering eyes in the dark popping
    out of the main boundary wall. He sees again but there is no
    one. He shrugs thinking it as an illusion. Main thief gasps
    and run away as Ravi enters the house again.
    RAVI (CONTD)
    Bahar to koi nahi hai...tum
    ladkiyon ki yahi problem
    hai...saamne koi aaya nahi ki horn
    ki bajay accelator daba ke chilla
    deti ho...Chalo ab ghabrao
    mat...lock karo aur so jaao
    ...subah milte hain...
    He begins to head out, but Gopa stops him.
    GOPA
    Aap please ruk sakte ho? Mujhe
    bahut dar lag raha hai...
    RAVI
    (Looking at his watch) Ab pata
    nahin...kal mangalwaar bhi
    hai...mandir bhi jaana hai...
    GOPA
    Please please please...
    RAVI
    Achcha achcha ok...tum jao andar so
    jao...main yahan hall main rukta
    hoon...
    GOPA
    Thank you sorry thank you...
    CUT TO:

    41.

    Gopa is inside again, tucking herself in. Again she hears the
    rustle and then the clanking outside and rushes out into the
    hall and into Ravis arms. His arm around her is not so
    comforting. Her clutches are agitated and he strokes her head
    and back.
    He eases her down on the couch. Covers her with a blanket. He
    sleeps on a chair. The next clanking she is up again and with
    him. He has been lying half asleep in a strange angle; his
    neck hurts.
    RAVI
    Ufff....
    GOPA
    Kya hua...?
    RAVI
    Gardan akkad gayi shayad ye kudsi
    par soke...
    GOPA
    Thehro...main theek kar deti
    hoon...
    She begins to massage his neck and shoulders. He is loving
    it.
    RAVI
    (Holds her hand gently as she is
    massaging his neck) By god...jaadu
    to tumhari ungliyon main bhi hai...
    She again feels awkward.
    RAVI (CONTD)
    Bas bas...aap so jao...main andar
    se gadda bahar le aata hoon...
    CUT TO:
    She sleeps on the sofa and he is on the gadda below.
    The next clanking she is again in his arms. Ravi starts
    playing with her hair, kisses continuously. She begins to
    respond and enjoy it.
    Fish disappears to the back of the bowl.
    He quickly pops a long lasting pleasure pill and keeps the
    box near the edge of the bowl.
    The table under the fish bowl begins to rock with the
    momentum of the love making.

    42.

    The half open box of pleasure pills keep moving towards the
    edge and finally one of the pills drop into the bowl.
    FADE TO BLACK.
    CUT TO:
    Mishti is swimming left and right at furious pace. Sounds of
    an orgasm resonates.
    CUT TO:
    18

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE/MORNING.

    18

    Its a bright sunny morning, Ravi wakes up. Gopa & Ravi are
    on Sudha Mishras bed. He yawns and then looks at Gopa who is
    sleeping peacefully. The feel of scoring comes out in the
    form of a grin. He gets up and proceeds towards to the loo.
    He stops near the fish bowl. Mishti is floating in the water
    with wide eyes and mouth open. The box of pleasure pills is
    also floating in the water. He cautiously removes the plastic
    bottle and takes out the dead fish. He puts on his pants that
    are lying on the floor. Takes out the dead fish and puts it
    into his pocket. He quietly shuts the bedroom door and moves
    out bare feet holding his shoes in his hands. Gopa is sill
    sleeping.
    CUT TO:
    19

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE/MORNING

    19

    SUDHA MISHRA (O.S.)


    Jhatke main darwaaza aise khula,
    jaise chalte plane ka darwaaza khol
    diya ho...
    The bedroom door swings open, Sudha Mishra is knocked to one
    side.
    Ek CHUDAIL nikli! Chehra baalon
    se dhakka hua, ghurra rahi thhi!
    lambe lambe nakhun aur aankhein
    soorkh laal!
    A woman with hair over her face, runs out the door. Her nails
    are long and pointed and she is growling.
    Sudha Mishra in the present. Shes rubbing Iodex on her neck
    and talking on the phone.

    43.

    SUDHA MISHRA (CONTD)


    Arre mujhe ghar ke andar kadam
    rakhte hi pata lag gaya tha ki kuch
    gadbad hai. Jantar tantar ka samaan
    bhi mila. Bhikari ke paise ka
    katora, phatta hua gatta...Poora
    kamre main ek ajeeb se
    smell...Vasudha ye sab Jaidev ki
    karastaani lagti hai...woh mujhse
    badla lene ke liye ye sab kar raha
    hai...
    VASUDHA (ON PHONE)
    Kaisi baatein karti ho didi...Jija
    ji America mein hain...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    To kya hua...wahan bhi wooduwagerah ka bahut chakkar hai. Arre
    ussi ki cheezin waapis aa gayi
    hain...yaad hai...(while looking at
    it)wo ashtray...maine hi to kaha
    tha tujhe bahar faikne ke liye...
    VASUDHA (ON PHONE)
    Mujhe kab kaha tha didi?
    SUDHA MISHRA (PONDERING)
    Tujhe nahi kaha tha to kisse kaha
    tha...
    VASUDHA (ON PHONE)
    Arre didi, ek mahine se bahar
    ho...aur phir is umar mein sab kuch
    yaad thodina rehta hai...Meri maano
    purani baatein bhool jao aur jija
    ji ke paas America chali jaao...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Dekh agar tere paas koi idea hai to
    de...warna faaltu ki bakwaas mat
    kar...main mar jaaungi, lekin uss
    dhokebaaz ke paas kabhi nahi
    jaaungi...aur agar wo yahan galti
    se aa gaya to dhakke maar ke bahar
    nikaal doongi...
    VASUDHA (ON PHONE)
    Uff didi...koi apne pati ke baare
    main aisa keh sakta hai kya?
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Bilkul keh sakta hai! Husband tera
    hai ye mera?

    44.

    VASUDHA
    Theek hai theek hai...shant ho
    jaao...gussa karne se aapka BP badh
    jayega... achcha ek kaam karo,
    thodi si laal mirch sookhi hui jala
    ke poore ghar mein ghuma do...jo
    bhi aatma hogi bahar aa
    jayegi...meri saas kiya karti
    thi...
    Sudha ponders listening her sisters advice.
    CUT TO:
    LEGEND: 22 Days Ago
    20

    INT/ PUMMYS SHOP/ DAY

    20

    Pummy sits at his shop surfing on Facebook. His father is


    checking the accounts. Pummys young 8-year-old brother
    Chinki is sitting fascinated by what his brother is doing on
    Facebook.
    PUMMYS FATHER
    Pummy iss mahine bas paanch hazaar?
    PUMMY (CHATTING)
    Dad...exam chal rahein hai
    abhi...season nahin hai...
    CHINKI (INNOCENTLY)
    Bhaiya...meri toh chhuttiyan chal
    rahi hain?
    Pummy stares at Chinki, his father throws the accounts book
    down.
    PUMMYS FATHER
    Ik ik paayi bacha ke dukaan khol ke
    di ...par nahi ji baap daftar mein
    kitna hi mare, kitne hi afsaron ke
    taane sune ki ye paise khata
    hai...par hamare honhaar pe kuch
    farak nahi padne wala...arre
    padhayi mein kuch nahi kar saka,
    kam se kam yahan to kuch karke
    dikha...
    Chinki pokes Pummy.
    CHINKI
    One message...Kusum...

    45.

    Before Pummys father gets more furious, Ravi enters the shop
    gasping. He quickly takes out the dead fish from his pocket
    and puts it on the table.
    RAVI
    Oji...ye wali milegi...
    Both Pummy and his father look at the dead fish whereas
    Chinki is still hooked to the messages on Facebook.
    PUMMY
    Parrot fish...haan mil jaayegi...
    RAVI
    Ek dum same to same chahiye...ditto
    copy...difference pata nahin chalna
    chahiye...
    Pummys father quickly cuts in.
    PUMMYS FATHER
    Oh ji...saade kol badi variety
    hai...aur machchiyan te waise hi
    sab same hoti hain...
    Pummys father then takes the dead fish to one aquarium and
    puts it in front of its glass.
    PUMMYS FATHER (CONTD)
    Hai na ji same to same...
    Ravi comes to the aquarium. Ravi compares the two. Fish are
    similar but not identical. There is an obvious difference in
    the number of black stripes on it. The fish in the tank also
    seems bigger.
    RAVI
    Thodi badi lag rahi hai...aur ye
    iski chaar dhaariyan hain aur uski
    teen lag rahi hain...
    PUMMYS FATHER
    Oh nahin ji...glass ke through badi
    lagti hai...aur jab paani main
    chalti hain, peeche ki dhaari
    dikhti nahin...ye saari same hoti
    hain...aur ab ji unees-bees toh har
    jagah chalta hai...aap le jaao ji,
    waise akhiri piece bacha hai mere
    paas.
    Ravi ponders for a second and replies.

    46.

    RAVI
    De do...kitne hue...
    PUMMY
    Do sa...
    Pummys father takes over.
    PUMMYS FATHER (OVERLAPPED)
    Do hazaar ki jodi hai ...ji hazaar
    dedo...
    RAVI (CAREFREE)
    Hazaar!!...zyada nahi hai?
    PUMMYS FATHER
    Aji kahan, mehngaayi kitni badh
    gayi hai, pyaaz bees chal raha hai
    aur aaloo pachees...aur phir ye to
    imported hai, Canada se mangwayi
    hai...
    Pummy looks at his dad with a blank face.
    PUMMYS FATHER (CONTD)
    Oye dekh kya raha hai...sahab ko de
    jaldi...garmi toh itni hai...chai
    toh ky peeyoge, kuch thanda to nahi
    mangwaaoon na?
    RAVI
    Nahi...
    Pummy carefully takes out the fish whereas Ravi takes out his
    wallet and takes out a thousand rupee note. Pummys father
    takes the note and examines it in the sunlight whereas Ravi
    looks at the fish carefully.
    PUMMYS FATHER
    Oh ji kya karein, aajkal nakli asli
    ka pata hi nahi chalda...
    Ravi leaves before Pummys father puts the currency note in
    the drawer. He looks at Pummy.
    PUMMYS FATHER (CONTD)
    Aise becha kar...aur ye waali aur
    manga le...Supply rahegi to demand
    apne aap badh jaani hai...Chal oye
    Chinki...
    Saying this he sits on the scooter and is about to kick start
    it...

    47.

    CHINKI (STILL LOOKING AT THE COMPUTER)


    Pummy ye Kusum pooch rahi hai ki
    tera baap chala gaya kya?
    Pummys father looks back at Pummy in anger who in turn looks
    at Chinki in irritation.
    CUT TO:
    21

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE/MORNING

    21

    Ravi puts the new fish in the bowl. He looks up towards the
    portrait and smiles. He opens the bedroom door and is
    surprised to see Gopa is not there. He turns around with a
    start when he sees Gopa come up behind him with a cup of tea.
    GOPA
    Subah-subah kahan chale gaye the?
    RAVI (HESITATINGLY)
    Kahin nahi...bas ek client ka phone
    aa gaya tha...
    They both move to the center of the hall and sit down.
    GOPA
    Kitna kaam karte hain na aap. Sar
    daba doon?
    RAVI
    Nahi nahi...
    GOPA
    Ek patni ka dharm hota hai ki wo
    apne pati ki sevaa kare...
    RAVI
    (Slurps the tea loudly)
    Patni, seva...par Gopa hamari
    shaadi kab hui?
    GOPA
    Kal raat ko...Ek ladki ki shaadi to
    tabhi ho jaati hai, jab wo apna
    tan, man sab kuch apne priyatam par
    nyochavar kar de...aur waise bhi ek
    sachcha hum safar hi apne pyaar ki
    raksha karta hai... yehi asli
    bandhan hai...
    RAVI (CONFUSED)
    Raksha Bandhan...?!!

    48.

    GOPA
    Mazaak chhodiye na...
    RAVI
    Par tumhari shaadi to Neerav ke...
    Gopa gets up and walks towards the aquarium.
    GOPA
    Saath hone wali thi...hui to nahi
    na...Main usse kisi andhere mein
    nahi rakhna chahti...(She picks up
    her mobile which shows 35 missed
    calls from Neerav) Main usse hamare
    pyaar ke baare mein bata
    doongi...taki hum naye jeevan ki
    shuruaat kar sakein.
    Ravi is aghast. He calculates quickly as he hugs her.
    RAVI
    Nahi nahi Gopa...aisa mat karna
    please...uska jeevan khatre mein
    pad jaayega.
    Gopa is confused listening this.
    RAVI (CONTD)
    ussne mujhe bhi kai missed calls di
    hain...abhi wo tour par hai...wo
    aayega to main khud usse bata
    doonga...
    GOPA
    Par tour...
    RAVI (DRAMATICALLY)
    Haan Gopa ye touring hi to hai jo
    bande ko maar deti hai...Pata nahi
    tumne note kiya ki nahi par Neerav
    thoda depressive nature ka hai.
    School mein bhi baat baat par
    suicide karne ki dhamki diya karta
    tha.
    GOPA (PONDERING)
    Mujhe bhi thodi gadbad to lagti
    thi...
    RAVI
    Zara socho agar client ke saamne
    kuch kar liya to...body ko Madurai
    se lana padega...Police case so
    alag...

    49.

    Gopa tightly hugs Ravi from behind.


    GOPA
    Oh Ravi...maine ye sab to socha hi
    nahi tha...thanks...I love
    you...tumhare jaisa achcha pati hi
    patni ko sahi rasta dikha sakta
    hai...
    Ravi quickly frees himself and stands up
    RAVI
    Filhaal mujhe ek party ko flat
    dikhaana hai... main bas abhi gaya
    aur abhi aayaa
    Ravi rushes to the door. Gopa shouts from behind.
    GOPA
    Thehariye!
    As Ravi turns, he sees Gopa taking out curd from the
    refrigerator and picking up a spoon. She takes a scoop of the
    curd and stuffs it into Ravis mouth.
    RAVI (MOUTHFUL OF CURD)
    Ye...kis...liye?
    Gopa then puts her scarf over her head like a Pallu and
    circles her hand over him five times. She then gives him some
    rice grains. Ravi is confused.
    RAVI (CONTD)
    Main kora chaval nahi khaata.
    Gopa smiles and pats on his head.
    GOPA
    Ye khaane ke liye nahi hai buddhu.
    Purse Mein rakhna.Dhanlaxmi apni
    kripa nyochavar kareingi.
    Ravi who is horrified gets terrorized by this act. He turns
    and heads out. Gopa shouts out to him.
    GOPA (CONTD)
    Aate waqt pandit ji se shaadi ka
    muhorat pooch ke aana...aur time se
    khana khaa lena... aur han ,main
    maanglik nahin hoon!
    Ravi rushes to the car as fast as he possibly can.
    CUT TO:

    50.

    22

    EXT/DELHI STREET/DAY

    22

    The rice grains are scattered all over the dash board. Ravi
    looks worried. He calls Sumit. Sumit answers.
    SUMIT (ON PHONE)
    Haan bolo...
    RAVI
    Sumit yaar...kal raat maine sambhal
    liye...Neerav tum logon ka bhi toh
    dost hai...bahut pakati hai
    yaar...ab tu sambhal...
    SUMIT (ON PHONE)
    Bade bhai, abhi toh koi chance
    nahin hai... yahaan ek producer ko
    fire kar diya...log responsibility
    lete kyon hai jab kar nahin
    sakte... Ayesha ka poora episode ab
    mujhe rework karna hai...
    RAVI
    Arre yaar...mere toh gale pad gayee
    na yaar...
    SUMIT (ON PHONE)
    Acha sun...ghar toh theek hai na...
    RAVI
    Haan...haan..ghar ko kya hona hai?
    SUMIT (ON PHONE)
    Money plant?
    RAVI
    Hain?
    SUMIT
    Fish ke peeche hai na?...woh money
    plant...aur fish theek hai? Maasi
    bahut possessive hai dono ke liye,
    Dekh lena please
    RAVI
    Haan yaar...sab theek hai...pakka
    mat...
    SUMIT
    Chal phir bye...baad main phone
    karta hoon...

    51.

    RAVI
    Sun toh...(mutters)yahan wo
    possessive ho rahi hai, uska kuch
    nahi.
    Sumit disconnects the phone. Ravi puts the phone away and
    takes out a pan masala packet and tears it with his mouth. He
    puts the pan masala in his mouth. Just then he receives an
    SMS. He checks, its from Gopa. The SMS reads -I love you, my
    husband. Ravi holds his head. After a second he quickly
    picks up the phone again and dials Meenal.
    MEENAL (ON PHONE)
    Haan tharki?
    RAVI
    Arre yaar bewadi ek chhoti si
    problem mein fans gaya hoon...bas
    samajh le tu hi madad kar sakti
    hai.
    MEENAL (ON PHONE)
    Chal ab preface mat bata...kahani
    kya hai...
    CUT TO:
    23

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE

    23

    Gopa is sitting and singing to the money plant.


    GOPA
    Dil khudgarz hai...phisla hai
    yeh...phir haath se...kal uska
    raha...ab hai tera...iss raat se...
    While singing she spots something lying behind the fish bowl.
    She takes it out and sees its the pleasure pills bottle. She
    blushes. The doorbell rings. Thinking it would be Ravi, Gopa
    notoriously asks.
    GOPA (CONTD)
    Kaun hai?
    VOICE FROM OUTSIDE
    Sabzi wala.
    Listening the strangers voice, puzzled Gopa instantly opens
    the door. Its Constable Hardayal along with sub-constable
    Sompal. Gopa looks them curiously and then look around for
    the vegetable vendor.

    52.

    SOMPAL
    Kar di na galti. Koi na hai. Mock
    drill ki thi bas. Ched se jhankya
    nahi pehle? Aur Kadi bhi na
    lagaayi. Kab samjheinge aap log? Wo
    To hum hain, koi aur hota to ho
    jana tha aaj aapka kaam.
    Gopa is speechless. Hardayal observes this.
    HARDAYAL
    Madame yahan koi buzurg rehta
    hai...matlab senior citijen?
    Gopa is confused. Hardayal signals Sompal to clarify this
    further.
    SOMPAL
    Ghabrane ki koi baat nahin hai
    madame. Routine enquiry chal ri
    sai...DilliPolice ka waada
    mahilaaon, bachchon aur buzurgon ki
    suraksha sabse zyada. Theek kaha na
    maine sir ji...
    HARDYAL
    HmmActually iss area mein ek gang
    behroopiya ban ke choriyaan kar
    raha hai. Zyadatar target Senior
    citizens hain.
    Hardayal again signals Sompal to clarify this further.
    SOMPAL
    Isliye ghar ghar
    ikaatha kar rahe
    mein suraksha ke
    rahe hain. Aapke
    buzurg hai?

    jaakar data
    hain aur saath
    upaay bhi samjhaa
    ghar mein koi

    GOPA
    Ji nahi...
    Both Hardayal and Sompal look at each other. Sompal opens the
    register and starts checking.
    SOMPAL
    Sahab ji ismein to kisi Sudha
    Mishra ka naam likhya sai...umar
    paisath saal.
    Gopa quickly remembers and even gives the portrait a look.
    She quips.

    53.

    GOPA
    Ji wo meri mausi hain, ek mahine ke
    liye chaar dhaam ki yatra par gayi
    hain...
    Hardayal turns suspicious. He enters the house. Sompal
    follows. They take a note of everything very carefully. Fish
    bowl, money plants, Sudha Mishra's portrait etc. Hardayal
    taps the fish bowl, whereas Sompal looks around.
    HARDYAL
    Aur kaun kaun hai yahan?
    GOPA
    Ji main aur mere husband
    HARDYAL
    Husband kya karte hain?
    GOPA
    Ji estate agent hain...
    HARDYAL
    Abhi kahan hai?
    GOPA
    J...ji...woh party ko flat dikhane
    gayein hai
    HARDYAL
    Kab tak aayenge?
    Gopa hesitates.
    GOPA
    Ji..jido din baadMadurai gaye
    hain
    HARDYAL
    Party ko flat dikhane Madurai gaye
    hain?
    SOMPAL
    Sir ji, bada agent lagta hain
    Hardyal taps the fish bowl again.
    HARDYAL
    Aap kahan ki rehne wale ho?
    GOPA
    Jjji Saharanpur ki
    Hardayals eyes lighten up on hearing 'Saharanpur'.

    54.

    HARDYAL
    Saharanpur? Arre bhai hum bhi
    Saharanpur ke hain!
    Hardyal turns to Sompal.
    HARDYAL (CONT'D)
    Abhi Sompal ko bata hi raha
    thha...Bhale hi Chhota sa hai
    Sahranpur...par aaj bhi bahut yaad
    aati hai-wo Laali halwaayi ki
    jalebi ...
    GOPA
    Laali nahin... aapka matlab
    Chandosi wale...
    HARDYAL
    Arre han... teen mil jaate the to
    ek kilo tak kha jate the mil
    ke...hain...
    Sompal's digital watch rings.
    SOMPAL
    Sir ji diabetes ki goli ko tame ho
    gaya...
    Hardayal takes a tablet out of his pants.
    HARDYAL
    Arre haan baaton baaton mein bhool
    hi gaya tha. (Asks Gopa) Ladka
    vagera nahin rakha kya apne paani
    vaani ke liye...
    GOPA
    Ji nahinmain laati hoon...
    HARDYAL
    Arre nahinnahinSompal le
    aayegaaap Sahranpur waali hain aap
    baithiyae
    He sits down and she politely sits down across him. Sompal
    goes to the kitchen.
    HARDYAL (CONTD)
    Achcha lagta hai jab koi apni jagah
    se mil jaaye to...
    GOPA
    (Smiles) Ji

    55.

    Sompal walks back with a glass of water. Hardyal quickly pops


    the pill. Sompal notices something lying on the fish bowl. He
    holds up the box of the Long Lasting Pleasure Pills.
    SOMPAL
    (Deliberately)
    Sirye dekhiya kya mila...
    Gopa quickly snatches it away from him.
    GOPA
    Jjj...ji wo machli ke liye hai...
    Both the cops look at her and then the fish. The fish is
    looking towards them. The door which was slightly ajar is
    pushed open and 2 big jaats storm in.
    HUDA
    Kahan hai?
    RAJPAL
    Chodhenge nahi saale ko aaj...
    HUDA
    Saale ne life barbaad kar di maari
    behen ki...
    Huda grabs Sompal and swings him around.
    HUDA (CONTD)
    Ye ryaa sala... Saale wardi utarwa
    doonga. Kisi galat fehmi mein mat
    rehna...
    SOMPAL
    Arre par maine tera ke kar diya?
    Bhains chura li ke lugaayi bhagali?
    Rajpal also proceeds to hit Sompal. Meenal enters crying.
    MEENAL
    Bhaiya usse chhodiyo mat!
    She sees Huda is holding a cop. She screams loudly.
    MEENAL (LOUDLY) (CONTD)
    Arre baawle ye wo nahin hai...Wo to
    ek hi tha...hazaaron mein
    ek...kamina saala ...
    Huda gets the hint and releases Sompal immediately but
    doesn't give up staring at him. Rajpal stops too.

    56.

    Gopa is scared and she hides behind Hardyal, she is clutching


    on to the long lasting pleasure pills tightly. Hardyal
    nervously speaks up.
    HARDAYAL
    Arre kaun hai, kisko dhoondh rahe
    ho?
    MEENAL (SOBBING DRAMATICALLY)
    Ussi ko, jisne mujhse shaadi ka
    wada karke mujhe ye bachcha de
    diya
    HARDAYAL
    Bachcha? Kahan hai bachcha?
    MEENAL (POINTING AT HER STOMACH)
    Do mahine mein thodi na dikhega
    thanedaar saab.
    HARDAYAL
    Nahi mera matlab kiska bachcha hai,
    Baap ka koi naam to hoga na?
    MEENAL (SOBBING DRAMATICALLY)
    Ravi...mujhe pata chala ki ab kisi
    aur masoom si ladki ko barbaad kar
    raha hai wo...
    Gopa drops the Long Lasting Pleasure pills and gasps.
    MEENAL (CONTD)
    Oh toh tumhi ho...Ravi ka naya
    shikaar
    GOPA
    Lekinaap toh uss raat
    SOMPAL
    Aap jaante ho ek doosre ko?
    Meenal patches.
    MEENAL
    Jaan ke bhi anjaan thhe
    sahab...Mujhe ke malum thha ke woh
    kamina, mahri bandook load karke
    fire kahin aur kar rahya se...
    SOMPAL
    (Speaks to Hardyal)
    Clearcut sexual harrasment ka case
    hai ji...Sections 294 aur 509

    57.

    HARDYAL
    Haan, wo bhi Saharanpur ki ladki ke
    saath
    Hardayal goes near Gopa.
    HARDYAL (CONT'D)
    Dekh beti...agar tu chahe to report
    darz kara sakti hai... saale ko
    Dilli mein pair rakhte hi daboch
    leinge.
    GOPA (FEELING FAINT)
    (Tears start rolling down her eyes)
    Ye nahin ho sakta
    MEENAL
    Bechaari ladkizindagi barbaad ho
    gayi hai iskiab kaun karega iske
    saath shaadi?
    Huda who is standing watching Gopa speaks.
    HUDA
    Main kar loonga ji...bahut khush
    rakhoonga...
    Meenal snaps around to him.
    MEENAL
    Pehle ghar ki lugaayi ne to khush
    rakhna seekh le...Lagaon phone
    Laxmi ne?
    Huda shuts up. Gopa begins to sob. Meenal takes control.
    MEENAL (CONT'D)
    Thanedaar saahab, meri maano to
    isse Saharanpur bhijwa do. Ladki
    jaat hai, socho Saharanpur mein
    pata chalega to iski kitni badnaami
    hogi...
    GOPA
    Nahi nahi...baba to mera gala hi
    daba deinge...
    MEENAL
    Arre yahan rahegi to meri tarah ho
    jaayegi...wahan jaakar sorry bol
    diyo...ghar hai tera, thodi daantdapat ke baad maamla thanda pad
    jayega. Waise bhi ladkiyon ka
    maamla thoda sensitive hota hai.

    58.

    Hardayal ponders and calls Sompal aside for his suggestion.


    SOMPAL (WHISPERING TONE)
    Saab, chhori theek kehri
    sai...private maamla hai, private
    mein hi rehn do...Hum kyun iss
    laundpane mein..
    Hardayal nods and again goes to Meenal and Gopa.
    HARDYAL
    Dekh beti...yeh theek
    rahega...Sahranpur ki izzat ki baat
    reh gayi warna tu jaanti hai hum
    kisi ko bhi band kar sakte hain.
    Arre bhai kaun chodhega isse?
    MEENAL
    Ye chhodh dega ...Huda (to Huda)
    iene ISBT mein Saharanpur wali bus
    mein bithaa diyoaur sun bithhaa ke
    aaiyo
    Hardayal quickly checks the time.
    HARDYAL
    Chaar baje nikalti hai ek AC
    coach...Woh pakad lena badiya
    rahegi Chal Sompalhum nikalte
    hainabhi toh poora mohale ka round
    marna hai.(To Gopa)aur han, maasi
    ko bol dena ki aane ke baad ek baar
    thaane mein contact jaroor kar
    lein.
    They quickly exit.
    CUT TO:
    23

    EXT/ VASANT KUNJ


    Outside the house, Harydal ponders
    HARDYAL
    Kuch samajh nahi aaya. Ye Sudha
    Mishra ka ghar hai, bhaanji
    Saharanpur ki haiwoh haraami
    property dealer hai jo Madurai main
    hai...do do ladkiyon ko bhi ullu
    bana gaya
    Hardyal turns to Sompal.

    23

    59.

    SOMPAL
    Arre ye toh kuchh bhi nahi saab
    jipichhle saal main gaya thha
    round pe. Rana ke saathDabri
    mainwahan toh
    Sompal keeps talking as the cops walk away down the street.
    CUT TO:
    Sc# 22B
    INT/ SUDHA MISHRA'S HOUSE/DAY
    Gopa is broken. Meenal holds her.
    MEENAL
    Ab kya uss kaminey ke liye roye jaa
    rahi hai...chal ab chup ho jaa, aur
    samaan baand le.
    GOPA
    Mujhe to ab tak yakeen nahi ho raha
    ki wo mere saath aisa kar sakte
    hain.
    MEENAL
    Kyun tere andar koi alag se parts
    lage hain...arre ye saare mard ek
    jaise hote hain...
    GOPA
    Ab to main Neerav ki bhi nahin ho
    sakti...
    MEENAL (CASUALLY)
    Haan...usse pata chalega to faansi
    laga lega...
    Gopa turns to Meenal innocently.
    GOPA (WHILE SOBBING)
    Kyaa aap bhi uske saath school mein
    padhti thi?
    MEENAL
    Haan...teeno ek hi class mein
    padhte the...bachpan se jaanti hoon
    uss haraami Ravi ko...
    She then picks up PLEASURE PILLS bottle from the ground and
    shoves it in front of Gopas face.

    60.

    MEENAL (CONT'D)
    Mera to life bhar ka rona ho
    gaya...Pata nahi aur kitno ki life
    barbaad ki hogi kaminey ne. Aane de
    yahin baith ke uska teeyaa-paanchaa
    nahi kiya to dekhna.
    She throws the bottle. Huda catches it and starts to read it.
    MEENAL (SHOWING A SLAP) (CONT'D)
    Kyun be ab thanne bhi kuch extra
    chahiye kya? Jaa isse ISBT mein bus
    mein bitha ke aa.
    Huda keeps the bottle inside his pocket.
    HUDA
    Chalo kuch packing-shaking mein bhi
    help kar deta hoon...
    CUT TO:
    Clock strikes 2:45pm. Gopa comes out with her luggage. She
    comes and tightly hugs Meenal and weeps
    GOPA
    Chalti hoon didi...Chhodhna mat
    saale ko...
    She hands over the keys to Meenal.
    GOPA (CONTD)
    Ye ghar ki chaabiyan...
    Rajpal whispers to Huda
    RAJPAL
    Oye Hudde...bus rawaana nahi ho
    jaye tab tak pag mat hiliyo wahan
    se.
    Gopa and Huda leave. Meenal throws herself on the couch.
    Rajpal stretches his arms while looking around the house. He
    looks towards the portrait
    RAJPAL (CONTD)
    Badiya ghar banaya sai...nahin?
    MEENAL
    Ke achcha hai?
    Saying, Meenal takes out the mobile phone in irritation.
    Rajpal soon realizes that her sister is not in a good mood.

    61.

    Meenal dials Ravis number.


    RAVI (ON PHONE)
    Kaam ho gaya?
    MEENAL
    Kaam mein to beta ab tu aayega.
    Kamine tune bataya nahin.police ka
    chakkar thha...
    RAVI (ON PHONE)
    Police?!!
    MEENAL
    Haan police...
    RAVI (ON PHONE)
    Teri kasam bewdi, mujhe koi idea
    nahi hai police-wulis ka...
    MEENAL
    Saale ehsaan maan, warna tu aaj
    jail ki paani wali daal mein rotti
    dubo ke khaa raha hota.
    RAVI (ON PHONE)
    Main jaanta tha tu kar legi...Gopa
    gayi?
    MEENAL
    Badduaien deti hoyi gayi hai...
    RAVI (ON PHONE)
    Chalo balaa tali...
    MEENAL
    Woh chhod, mera kaam yaad hai na?
    RAVI (ON PHONE)
    Tu load mat le...tere desi Rocky ko
    maine Indian team wali T-shirt nahi
    pehanwaayi to boliyo...
    MEENAL
    Dekh bhai ke career ka sawaal
    hai...
    RAVI (ON PHONE)
    Phir kar di ni chichori baat. Arre
    hoga Boxing Federation ka
    president, par apna jigri hai
    Bhalla.

    62.

    MEENAL
    Achcha sun ghar ka kya scene hai?
    Laundiya gaaliyon ke saath Chaabi
    bhi dekar gayi hai.
    Meanwhile Rajpal who is listening the conversation gets
    excited listening about the house. He intervenes.
    RAJPAL
    JiJi main reh loon ke? Please pooch
    na? Trials tak Please...
    Meenal nods.
    MEENAL
    Raj kuch din yahin rukna chahta
    hai...Trials tak...
    RAVI (ON PHONE)
    Tu bhi na...madad maang rahi hai ya
    kar rahi hai. Chhote ko bol apna hi
    ghar samjhe...Main toh tension main
    thha ke kaun baar baar daana paani
    daalne jaayega. Bas usko boliyo ke
    machli ko sambhal le...pet hai
    maasi ki.
    MEENAL
    Haan haan...tu fikkar mat kar
    ...chal...thanks
    RAVI (ON PHONE)
    Oh haan...woh peeche ek koi money
    plant bhi hai, uska bhi paani-vaani
    daalne ko bol diyo...
    MEENAL (CARELESSLY)
    Theek hai theek hai.
    Ravi disconnects.
    MEENAL (MURMERS)
    Bhai ghar tera. (Rajpal smiles) par
    ye paache machli ne daana daal
    diye...aur woh paudhe ne paani
    bhi...
    RAJPAL
    Behena ho to thaare jaisi warna
    sarkari sports hostel mein aadmi
    kankaal ban sake sai, champion
    nahi...

    63.

    MEENAL
    Ye makhkhan bacha ke rakh...uss
    Bhalla ne chapodiyo.
    Menal gets up towards the bedroom.
    MEENAL (CONT'D)
    Aur sun...Shikayat na mile manne
    koi...
    Meenal shuts the door.
    MEENAL (CONT'D)
    Change karke aati hoon...GK tak
    chhod aa phir
    She throws him the key and shuts the door.
    CUT TO:
    24

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRA'S HOUSE/NIGHT

    24

    SUDHA MISHRA (O.S.)


    Jhatke main darwaaza aise khula,
    jaise chalte plane ka darwaaza khol
    diya ho...main door jaake giri...
    The bedroom door swings open, Sudha Mishra is knocked to one
    side, and she falls dramatically.
    Ek CHUDAIL nikli! Chehra baalon
    se dhakka hua, ghurra rahi thhi!
    lambe lambe nakhun, aur aankehin
    soorkh laal, nakhooon se khoon bhi
    tapak raha thha!
    A woman with hair over her face, runs out the door. Her nails
    are long and pointed and she is growling. Blood is dripping
    from her nails.
    SUDHA MISHRA (CONTD)
    Bunny kisi ne black magic kar diya
    hai yahan.
    Sudha Mishra in the present. Shes wearing a neck brace.
    Shes in the kitchen. She puts a frying pan on the gas.
    BUNNY (ON PHONE)
    What are you saying mom?
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Haan...teri woh jungli ne toh kuchh
    jadoo tona toh nahin kar diya?

    64.

    She takes out some dried chillies from a container.


    BUNNY (ON PHONE)
    Come on Mom...woh aap pe kyon jadoo
    karege...aap jet lagged hongi...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Bunny, sab naye chonchle
    hai...maine poori duniye ghoomi
    hai...puchh le na apne papa se...ye
    jet lag shet lag mujhe nahi hota...
    BUNNY
    Oh mom, dont get upset..ab toh gayi
    na chudail?
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Pata nahin...usika intezaam kar
    rahi hoon...teri chudail matlab
    Suzy kahan hai...
    Sudha puts the dried chillies into the frying pan. A huge
    envelope of smoke starts to surround her.
    BUNNY (ON PHONE)
    Aaj uski hotel mein night shift
    hai.
    Sudha sneezes two-three times consecutively.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Aachoo...Aur tu ghar pe baith kar
    aaaccchhhiiii....pakode tal raha
    hai...arre pata to kar ki kaun si
    night shift mein jaati hai.
    Sudhaa sneezes.
    BUNNY (ON PHONE)
    Bless you Mom...It's all about
    trust...aap nahi samjhogi...meri
    maano to aap bhi papa ke paas chali
    jaao. kab tak akeli rahogi...
    Sudha gets hidden in the smoke. Only sneezes are heard. Sudha
    is almost invisible. Her voice comes through.
    SUDHA MISHRA (SCREAMS)
    Don't you give any suggestions to
    me. Aaaachii...main kabhi tumhari
    ya tumhare baap ki tarah
    zimmedariyon se nahi
    bhaagi....aaachchii...

    65.

    BUNNY
    Mom are you ok? Aap ko sardi ho
    gayi kya?
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Main theek hoon...aaaaa....baap aur
    beta toh maa ki khoon ke peeche
    pade hi thhe...ab toh teri maasi ne
    jaan lene ki koshish shuru kar di
    hai...
    Sudhaa disconnects. She quickly opens the window...
    SUDHA MISHRA (CONT'D)
    Hey...Vasudhaa ki bachchi...maine
    tera kya bigaada hai...
    CUT TO:
    LEGEND: 20 DAYS AGO
    25

    EXT-INT/SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE/DAY

    25

    Dumbells, bar bells and everything macho is being off loaded


    from a Sumo onto the yard of the house as Rajpal is moving
    in. Muscles gleaming he sets everything up. Plugs in a CD
    player, puts on a CD. The mood suggests a thumping track from
    Rocky will begin. Instead, the beats of tabla fill the air. A
    wig comes on, eyes are beautifully painted, Ghungroos
    resonate as the huge figure of Rajpal gracefully performs
    Kathak. The passion is all consuming and is clear that this
    man is full filling a hidden desire. The house has become his
    secret getaway and he performs, hidden from the world. As he
    continues to perform and practice his boxing, the legend on
    screen goes from 20-15 Days to Go.
    Or
    Dum bells, bar bells and everything macho is being off loaded
    from a Sumo onto the yard of the house as Rajpal is moving
    in. Muscles gleaming he sets everything up. Fish watch Rajpal
    in curiosity. Rajpal Plugs in a DVD player, puts on a DVD.
    The mood suggests a thumping track from Rocky will begin.
    Instead, the beats of tabla fill the air. We see a song from
    the film "Jal bin machali nritya bin bijali" being played on
    tv. A wig comes on, eyes are beautifully painted, ghungroos
    resonate as the huge figure of Rajpal gracefully performs
    Kathak on "man ki baat". Rajpal sees in the video that the
    fish is been taken out and the heroin in the song performs
    imitating the fish who is struggling for its life. Rajpal
    looks at fish. Mishti get scared.

    66.

    RAJPAL
    Ummm...aaja...Tu fikar na kar,tu hi
    akeli na hai.Main Bhi bahut akela
    hoon. sab chaahvein ki main ek
    boxer banu, gaanv ko naam roshan
    karoon ; par kisi ne puchya ki main
    ke karna chaahoo. Mhaari ke ichcha
    sai. Michael Jackson ko baap usse
    ring mein utaar deto to...? Mhara
    dada ji kehta tha ki har Bado kaam
    qurbaani chaave hai.
    Rajpal takes out the fish and dances same as in the video.
    Fish struggles a bit and finally collapse. Rajpal sees the
    dead fish. He sees in the video, the heroin is still dancing
    imitating the struggling fish whereas the one lying on floor
    is not moving. He tries shaking the dead fish with his feet.
    Fish does'nt respond. He quickly picks up the dead fish.
    RAJPAL (MURMERS) (CONTD)
    O ye ke ho gaya. Jiji mujhe maar
    degi.
    CUT TO:
    SC# 25 EXT/ INT/ PUMMY'S SHOP
    Bhushan places the dead fish on the counter.
    RAJPAL
    Sun chhote ye vaali hai kya?
    PUMMY
    (A little annoyed at Rajpal's
    atitude) Haan mil jaayegi...
    RAJPAL
    Sahi hai...aadhi darzan baand de
    fatafat phir... kitne ki hai
    Chhote?
    PUMMY
    (Irritated) Pummy naam hai... dhai
    hazaar ki jodi hai aur single
    chahiye to pandrah sau ki padega...
    RAJPAL
    Pandrah sau ki ek? Yaar theek theek
    lagaade chhote
    PUMMY
    fixed price... bahut demand hai...
    Chahiye toh bolo

    67.

    RAJPAL
    Oye Pummy naaraaz kyon hota hai, ik
    kaam kar ye wali ek same to same
    aur aadhi darzan koi sasti wali
    dede...Practice ke liye.
    Pummy gets suspicious. Rajpal Realizes his slip of tongue.
    PUMMY
    Practice ke liye?
    RAJPAL (HASITATINGLY)
    Wo boxing ki practice ke liye.
    Indian Team ke liye taiyyari kar
    raha hoon na launde. Tere Samajh
    mein nahi aayega.
    Pummy turns back to his aquariums and start picking the fish.
    PUMMY
    Ye wali de doon,chaar sau ki 6
    aayeingi.
    RAJPAL
    Dede chote,
    He puts one similar to dead one separately and other six in a
    separate pack.
    PUMMY
    Lagta hai bahut alag si practice
    kar rahe ho sir ji. Bhool mat jana,
    champion ban jaao to interview mein
    hamara naam lena mat bhoolna.
    Rajpal quickly takes the fishes and puts it in his Sumo.
    RAJPAL
    Chinta na kar chote. Mhara dada
    kehte tha ki har bada kaam qurbaani
    chaave sai.
    Pummy looks Rajpal confused and puzzled. Rajpal drives off.
    CUT TO:
    INT/SUDHA MISHRA'S HOUSE/NIGHT
    Legend:-

    68.

    Rajpal places the new fishes in the bowl with the new Mishti.
    The passion is all consuming and is clear that this man is
    full filling a hidden desire. The house has become his
    getaway and he performs, hidden from the world except for the
    thieves who again look for some opportunity.
    As he continues to perform and practice his boxing, the
    Legend on Screen goes from 20- 15 Days to go. Fishes keeps on
    reducing from the tank till the last one similar to one died
    before.
    Song ends-He looks at all his Kathak ornaments strewed all
    over. He picks them up and heads into the bedroom. He shuts
    the door.
    CUT TO:

    CUT TO:
    26

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE/ NIGHT

    26

    During one such performance the doorbell rings, Rajpal


    panics. He quickly disposes of his garb and opens the door.
    Huda stands there with a 'know it all' smile.
    HUDA
    Re... bhool hi gaya tu... hostel
    gaya toh pata chala... tu aaya na
    hafte se...Meenal behan ne bataya
    tu yahan sai.
    RAJPAL
    Ke baat hogi...paise chahiye the to
    phone kar deto...
    HUDA
    Main kahaan paison ke waaste ro rya
    hoon... humne bhai ki madat ki...
    ab thodi madat humme bhi chahiye
    bhai ki...
    RAJPAL
    (Rajpal is a little relieved)
    Eh Huda bhai baith na...
    HUDA
    (Sitting down, he looks at
    something on his phone) Suna Bhalla
    saage thaari setting chaal ri sai.

    69.

    RAJPAL
    (Cuts in sharply) Dekh Huda...tu
    bhi jaane sai ki ... tera career
    khatam hai...
    HUDA
    Sunta na hai tu... pehle bol pade
    hai hamesha! Meri baat nahin kar
    raha hoon main... ek dost hai
    meri...s
    RAJPAL
    Dost?
    Huda takes out a newspaper cutting and hands it to Rajpal
    HUDA
    Phamily phriend hai... aur zyada
    kuchh nahin... janana team main
    transfer chahiye bas...
    Rajpal looks at the newspaper. There is a picture of a lady
    boxer from Manipur, the name written is, TOMBI SANJEMBAM .
    HUDA (CONTD)
    Manipur team main hai... records
    bhi achche hain...Indian team mein
    kuchh fit karaade...
    RAJPAL
    Dekh bhai... Huda... tu jigri
    hai... par yaar ye toh teda kaam
    hai... main apna boloonga ke is...
    Poncho ka? Main ta jaanta bhi na
    usko... asli chakkar ke hai...
    family toh naa lagti ye...
    Huda sighs and plays with his phone.
    HUDA
    Chal rehn de... achcha ek baat
    bataa... tune woh MMS vaali clip
    dekhi hai?
    RAJPAL
    (A little bemused as to what Huda
    is getting up to) Kaunsi... DPS
    vaali?
    HUDA
    Chaa...ke baasi doodh ot rya sai...
    uss bhi dhaansu cheez haath lagi
    sai mere... dikhaaun ke?

    70.

    He flips around his phone and plays a clip. Rajpal watches


    with interest and as the music begins to play back, his eyes
    go wide in horror. It is a clip of him doing the dance as
    seen from outside the window. Rajpal screams and tries to
    snatch the phone. Huda is quicker than him. Rajpal punches
    Huda. Huda flies back and lands on the fish bowl. Shattering
    the bowl and sending the fish flying out the window.
    FADE TO BLACK:
    CUT TO:
    The house is in an almighty mess. The money plant pot is now
    also shattered. The leaves have been trampled upon. Both
    Rajpal and Huda are huffing and panting. They are both
    sitting on two different ends of the hall. The phone is still
    in Hudas hands.
    RAJPAL
    Dam to ab bhi baaki sai
    tujhme...Achchi dosti nibhaayi tune
    dagabaaz. Tera ke bigaad diya
    maine... kyun kar raha hai...
    kutte...
    Huda puts his hand up. About to click, Send.
    HUDA
    Baat karega Bhalla se...
    RAJPAL
    (Panics) Karoonga bhai karoonga...
    Huda smiles. He takes his hand off the send button.
    HUDA
    Dekh Raj... tera raaz safe hai...
    tu bas ye kaam karde...Parso aa
    rahi sai mhaari dost-with family.
    Huda struggles to his feet.
    HUDA (CONTD)
    Yaad rakhiyo... teri jaan mere
    haath main sai...
    He struggles out the door. Rajpal still on the ground, looks
    around the house in frustration.
    CUT TO:

    71.

    27

    EXT/ INT/ PUMMYS SHOP


    Pummy sits online setting up a Facebook page for his
    aquarium. Rajpals Sumo stops in front of the stop. Rajpal
    rushes up to the shop. He places the dead fish on the
    counter. Pummy looks at the fish and then looks up and is
    surprised to see Rajpal.
    RAJPAL
    Sun chhote ye vaali hai kya?
    Sun chote ye wali ek hor dede.
    PUMMY
    (A little annoyed at Rajpals
    attitude) Haan mil jaayegi...
    Kyun pehli waali practice mein
    shaheed ho gayi kya?
    RAJPAL
    Sahi hai...baand ek fatafat phir...
    kitne ki hai Chhote?
    Dimaag ki dahi to kare mat.ye de
    aur paise le.
    Pummy is annoyed with this.
    PUMMY
    (Irritated) Pummy naam hai... dhai
    hazaar ki jodi hai aur single
    chahiye to pandrah sau ki padega...
    De raha hoon, single 1500 ki
    hai,pata hai na.
    RAJPAL
    Pandrah sau ki ek? Yaar theek theek
    lagaade chhote
    han han pata hai,Saath mein wo
    kaanch ka martabaan bhi deeje...
    PUMMY
    Fixed price... bahut demand hai...
    Chahiye toh bol
    RAJPAL
    Oye Pummy naaraaz kyon hota hai,
    mujhe woh fish boaul bhi chahiye
    (He gestures with his hand, drawing
    the shape of the bowl in the air)
    Rajpal spots one, he points to it.

    27

    72.

    PUMMY
    (Looks at the bowl) Ye seven fifty
    ka hai...#
    Ye saadhe saat sau ka padega...
    Saying Rajpal takes out his wallet. Places the money harshly
    on the table.
    RAJPAL
    (mutters)sab sauda karne mein lage
    hain saale.
    Since the money is less, he empties his pocket. Still There
    is some money less, he takes out all the change out of his
    pocket. Still 20 rupees is less.
    RAJPAL (CONTD)
    Ab ye pehan raakhyi hai, ye bhi
    utaar ke rakh doon.
    Pummy grabs all the money and gives a look to Rajpal.
    PUMMY
    Mere dadaji kehte the ki koi maane
    to ek-aadh baar ehsaan bhi kar dena
    chahiye.
    Rajpal helplessly chew his jaws in frustration. His gaze get
    stuck to the money plant.
    RAJPAL
    To ek ehsaan aur kar de.Ye bata ki
    ye kahan milega...?
    PUMMY
    (Putting a rubber band on the
    plastic bag with the fish) Money
    plant? Woh kabhie khareeda nahin
    jaata, churana padta hai... bolte
    hain tabhie panapta hai. (Hands
    Rajpal the fish)
    Rajpal gives him the money, and also picks up the bowl. Pummy
    takes the money, smiles and turns around to put it in the
    drawer under the small temple that hes made. He puts the
    money in, he turns around as he hears the roar of the Sumo
    engine. Rajpal is already driving away. Pummy notices that
    his money plant is gone. He screams.
    PUMMY (CONTD)
    Chhote ke bachche!
    CUT TO:

    73.

    # continues...
    RAJPAL
    Arre kya baat kar raha hai sardar
    ji... itna toh budget nahin hai...
    Pummy points at a smaller bowl.
    PUMMY
    Ye chhota waala le jao...seventeen
    fifty main fish ke saath... dedoon?
    RAJPAL
    De yaar... nakki kar (He takes out
    some money from his pocket)
    Pummy turns away and puts the fish in a plastic bag with
    water. Rajpal notices a money plant on the edge of the
    counter.
    RAJPAL (CONTD)
    (Pointing to the money plant) Arre
    ye kahaan milega?
    PUMMY
    (Putting a rubber band on the
    plastic bag with the fish) Money
    plant? Woh kabhie khareeda nahin
    jaata, churana padta hai... tabhie
    phalta phoolta hai. (Hands Rajpal
    the fish)
    Rajpal gives him the money, and also picks up the bowl. Pummy
    takes the money, smiles and turns around to put it in the
    drawer under the small temple that hes made. He puts the
    money in, he turns around as he hears the roar of the Sumo
    engine. Rajpal is already driving away. Pummy notices that
    his money plant is gone. He screams.
    PUMMY (CONTD)
    Chhote ke bachche!
    CUT TO:
    28

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE/DAY

    28

    Rajpal places the new fish bowl with the new Mishti. He also
    places the money plant back. He looks at all his dancing
    ornaments strewed all over. He picks them up and heads into
    the bedroom. He shuts the door.
    CUT TO:

    74.

    29

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE/DAY

    29

    SUDHA MISHRA (O.S.)


    Jhatke main darwaaza aise khula,
    jaise chalte plane ka darwaaza khol
    diya ho...main door jaki giri...
    mera sar table sar takraaya...
    The bedroom door swings open, Sudha Mishra is knocked to one
    side, and she falls dramatically hitting her head on a side
    table.
    Ek CHUDAIL nikli! Chehra baalon
    se dhakka hua, ghurra rahi thhi!
    Lambe lambe nakhun, aankeihn soorkh
    laal, aur nakhunon se tapakta
    khoon! Sar aur paer bhi ulte
    ghoomein hue thhe!
    A woman with hair over her face, runs out the door. Her nails
    are long and pointed and she is growling. Blood is dripping
    from her nails. Her teeth stick out like two gleaming fangs.
    Sudha Mishra lies down on the couch. She has a neck brace on
    and hot water bottle over her head. She is speaking to
    someone on the phone.
    MRS. HULLAR (ON PHONE)
    (Sarcastically) Aur gardan? Gardan
    kaisi thhi?
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Suraahi jaisi gol aur lambi...keh
    to rahi hoon Chudail thi...ab
    kyaa paas bithaa kar chai pilaati
    aur poochti ki chudail ji kaisi
    ho....pair kaise hain, gardan kaisi
    hai...tujhse jhooth bolungi kya?
    MRS. HULLAR
    Arre... bhadak mat... suna to maine
    bhi hai ki jahan chudailon ka waas
    hota hai wahan sab kuch badal jata
    hai...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Arre main to samjha samjha ke
    paagal ho gayi hoon par koi maane
    tab na... Jaidev ki cheezein waapis
    aa gayi...ash tray, cigaar. Yahan
    tak ki pichle saal jo cusions cover
    maine faink diye the, wo bhi waapis
    aa gaye hain

    75.

    MRS. HULLAR
    Sudha... woh covers agar tune
    phainke hote...toh poori duniya ko
    bataya hota... Bolne ke saath saath
    teri ab bhoolne ki bimaari hogayee
    hai.
    Sudha struggles to get up off the couch. She walks towards
    the fish bowl.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    (Frustrated) Mrs. Hullar... ye
    Mishti ka bowl bhi chhota ho gaya
    hai!
    MRS. HULLAR
    Dekh Sudha, agar vaham nikalna
    hai... toh Meena ki tarah tu bhi
    kuchh uppay karvaa le...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Meena?
    MRS. HULLAR
    Arre Lodi Road wali Meena Chawla,
    Mrs Chowdhari ki kitty mein aayi
    thi na...
    SUDHA MISHRA (REMEMBERS)
    Han han, jisne Jorget saari pehani
    thi...ultra bright...hmmm(makes
    face)
    MRS. HULLAR
    Han ...wahi bata rahi thi...chudail
    ya bhoot achche nature ke hai to
    sab achcha hoga aur agar kharaab
    nature ke hain to sab kharaab kar
    dega...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Ab meri wali chudail ka nature
    kaise pata chalega...
    MRS. HULLAR
    Arre sab pata chal jata hai...
    Meena hi bata rahi thi ki uske ghar
    main bhi koi pret aatma ghus aayi
    thhi... raaton raat Kedarnath
    gayi... wahan ek baba hai... unhone
    baithe baithe poori list banwaa di
    ki jaadoo tone kaun kaun karva
    sakta hai...

    76.

    SUDHA MISHRA
    (Curiously) Phir?
    MRS. HULLAR
    Phir kya tha...usske apne hi
    padosi, Malhotras nikale...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    (Quickly pulling out a pen and pad)
    Main bhi list banao... Jaidev,
    Suzy, Vasudha, Mrs Kapoor, Mrs Gill
    ... Mrs Pooniya, Gehrotra, Mrs
    Hullar...(pauses, she realises
    shes been speaking to Hullar) Mera
    matlab aur kaun ho sakta? Tu jaanti
    hai kisi ko... I mean some baba?
    MRS. HULLAR
    Hai toh sahi ek... kahe toh bhej
    doon.
    Sudha ponders.
    CUT TO:
    LEGEND: 12 DAYS TO GO
    30

    INT/ EXT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE

    30

    Two white ambassadors with red lights on them are parked


    outside the house. Inside, Bhalla, President of the boxing
    federation sits in the hall with two assistants. Rajpal sits
    opposite him, with his coach. A house help comes and keeps a
    plate of Amritsari fried fish on the table.
    RAJPAL
    Sir, lijiye... Special fried fish
    hai sir
    Bhalla immediately picks up one and starts to blow it cold
    with his mouth.
    BHALLA
    Ab yahan baith ke to pata chalta
    nahi hai... (bites into the fish)
    boxer ka asli test toh ring mein
    hota hai...
    RAJPALS COACH
    (Opens a file, shows it to Bhalla)
    Sir ji, record toh aapko malum hi
    hai sir...

    77.

    BHALLA
    Record dekhna ka time kiske paas
    hai... jab Viju aaya thha mere
    paas... kya record thha uska...
    kuchh nahin...
    ASSISTANT 2
    woh toh sir ne dekha ke ladke main
    dum hai... rakh diya sar pe
    haath...
    ASSISTANT 1
    kya talent hai Sir ka ... jispe
    haath rakh dein... uski toh life
    ban jaati hai...
    RAJPAL
    Sir, bas mere sir pe bhi ye haath
    rakh do...
    BHALLA
    (Quickly devouring another fish
    pakora, looks towards his
    assistant) Haath toh main rakh
    doon, par har decision soch samajh
    ke lena padta hai... desh ki izzat
    ka sawaal hai, meri reputation ka
    sawaal hai...
    ASSISTANT 2
    Kya reputation hai sir ki!
    RAJPALS COACH
    Sir ji, aapki moonch neeche nahin
    hone dega ye... badaa janoon hai
    ladke main...
    ASSISTANT 1
    Kyaa Moonch hai sir ki...
    Assistant realizes. Clean Shaven Bhalla stares him in anger.
    BHALLA
    Theek hai... do din main trials
    shuru hai meri academy main...
    pahunch jaana... (Bhalla gets up to
    go the loo)
    Rajpal smiles and goes forward to touch Bhallas feet as he
    heads to the loo.

    78.

    ASSISTANT 1
    Kya academy hai sir ki (opens out a
    voucher book) Ek donation slip
    bharni padegi paanch lakh ki...
    Rajpal watches Bhalla go away, turns to the assistant.
    RAJPAL
    Sir... Paanch lakh se kuchh kam
    nahin ho sakta...
    ASSISTANT 2
    (Loudly) Bhalla sahab ladka kuchh
    discount maang raha hai...
    RAJPAL
    (Panicking) Nahin nahin... donation
    toh ready hai.
    He reaches behind and pulls out a gym bag and hands it to one
    of the assistants. Both the assistants are now also eating
    the fish.
    RAJPAL (CONTD)
    (Rajpal leans forward) Sir...
    womens team main bhi koi position
    khaali hai kya?
    ASSISTANT 1
    Womens team?
    ASSISTANT 2
    Dekh bhai, position toh talent par
    depend karti hai. Laundiya agar
    talented hogi to Bhalla sahab ek se
    ek position banaa hi denge...
    ASSISTANT 1
    Kya position hai sir ka!
    RAJPAL
    Sir... kitna hoga roughly?
    ASSISTANT 1
    Dekho ladies team hai, toh donation
    half... aur half kind main
    RAJPAL
    Sir...samjha nahin?
    ASSISTANT 2
    Solah dooni aath hai nu tu, itni
    jaldi nahin samjhega!
    (MORE)

    79.
    ASSISTANT 2 (CONT'D)
    Koi baat nahin...tum ladki ko bhej
    dena... Bhalla ji samjhaa denge

    ASSISTANT 1
    Kya samjhaate hain Bhalla ji!
    (Laughs)
    The other assistant also laughs with him. Rajpal is a little
    shocked.
    CUT TO:
    31

    INT/ NIGHT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE

    31

    Rajpal sits watching the fish swimming in the bowl. Soulful


    music plays in the background. He is sipping from a whisky
    bottle. His phone rings. Its Huda calling.
    RAJPAL
    (Answers, very flatly completely
    devoid of emotion) Haan Huda...
    HUDA (ON PHONE)
    Kaisi rahi meeting?
    RAJPAL
    Badiya gayi... kaam ho jayega
    HUDA (ON PHONE)
    Kitne lagenge... kuchh bola?
    RAJPAL
    Dhai lega...aur (pauses)
    HUDA (ON PHONE)
    Aur?
    RAJPAL
    Nahin aur kya... entry mil
    jaayegi... aage Poncho ka talent
    hai...
    Rajpal gets up and moves towards the fish bowl and picks up
    the fish food. Starts to open it.
    HUDA (ON PHONE)
    Re kamaal kar diya tune bhai... ab
    tu kab join kar raha ha team?
    RAJPAL
    parson camp join kar raha hun
    Gurgaon main...

    80.

    Rajpal tips some food into the bowl. The fish hungrily comes
    up to eat it.
    HUDA (ON PHONE)
    parson! Matlab tu jaa raha hai
    parson?
    Rajpal looks at the fish eating the food, puts some more in.
    RAJPAL
    Kyun? Ab aur bhi kuchh lega...
    hain? Saale saanp!
    HUDA
    Arre nahin bhai... tu ghalat samajh
    mat... kaam toh nikalvaana hi padta
    hai na... chal... thanku and sorry
    bas...
    Rajpal disconnects. He looks at the fish, its eating away. He
    puts in more food. There is now a thick layer of food in the
    bowl. He taps on the bowl loudly.
    RAJPAL
    Ye sala to mujhe dhang se jeene
    nahi dega...kam se kam tu to
    Khaa... khul ke khaa...
    He lies down on the sofa.
    CUT TO:
    LEGEND: 11 DAYS TO GO
    32

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE/ MORNING

    32

    Flash bulbs go off, big car, hot girls. A TV advert. Front


    page news. Rajpal is famous. He starts to receive SMSes. The
    tone keeps getting louder and louder. He finally wakes up. To
    his horror it's the MMS of him dancing. This time he really
    gets up. Realises he was dreaming. Meenal calls him. He gets
    up sweating... hes still on the couch.
    RAJPAL
    (Sweating) Hello...
    MEENAL
    Abhi tak so raha hai... Ring mein
    bhi soyega ke...Ravi keh raha thha
    Bhalla bahut tareefein kar raha
    tha...ab to chet...

    81.

    RAJPAL
    Kiski ...Meri?
    MEENAL
    Nahin... pakodon ki... keh raha hai
    tera selection pakka hai
    Rajpal is relieved.
    RAJPAL
    Achcha Jiji Sun ! wo Vijendra ke
    manager ka number milega kya?
    MEENAL
    Kyun?
    RAJPAL
    Nahi wo agar ad shad ke liye phone
    aane shuru ho jaayenge toh...
    zaroorat...hello (the call seems to
    have been disconnected a while ago)
    Rajpal rubs his eyes and looks towards the fish bowl. The
    fish is floating on the surface along with the extra fish
    food. He slaps his forehead in disgust.
    RAJPAL (CONTD)
    Arre nahin yaar... Gharwale boxer
    ban, champion ban keh ke jeene nahi
    dete, Sapole dost blackmail kar ke
    jeene nahi de raha aur bachi ye, so
    baawli mar ke jeene nahi deti...
    CUT TO:
    33

    EXT/ PUMMYS SHOP/ DAY


    Rajpal stops his Sumo a little distance away from Pummys
    shop. Huda is with him.
    RAJPAL
    Sun ghar bhi tera aur ye machchli
    ka jhanjhat bhi...ye machhi ko
    exchange karwaa le... woh sardar
    thoda teda hai... meri kat ti hai
    usse...
    Rajpal hands the Huda the dead fish.
    HUDA
    Mari hui exchange thodi karega
    woh...

    33

    82.

    RAJPAL
    Arre... chor hai saalo ek number ko
    ... bimaar machchi bechi di
    manne... chaar din bhi na chali...
    Chad jaiyo usspe... tabhi karega...
    nahin maanega to kam se kam paise
    toh kam karega hi... loot machayee
    hui hai...(Huda stares Rajpal)ke
    dekh rya sai...ab itta to karde
    mhaare liye...
    HUDA
    Itna to kar hi sakoon hoon.
    He gets down the sumo. Rajpal looks towards the shop. He sees
    Pummys father arriving at the shop on his scooter.
    CUT TO:
    34

    INT/ PUMMYS SHOP/ DAY


    PUMMY
    Murde nahi bola karte paape...aur
    bill kahan hai... maine toh kabhie
    nahin dekha tere ko...
    HUDA
    (Slightly aggressively) Badaa hero
    ban ryaa sai... idhar ka SHO jigri
    hai mera... Na machchli taire gi na
    tu...
    Pummys father has been listening to the conversation from
    the back of the shop. Quickly comes up front.
    PUMMYS FATHER
    Arre Pummy... customer ko kabhi
    kasht nahe dete... sir jee mujhe
    dekhao (He takes the fish in his
    hands) O ho... Samajh gaya... galti
    aap ki bhi nahin hai... single le
    gaye thhe
    HUDA
    Haan... phir?
    PUMMYS FATHER
    Wahi to...Teen din main hi dum tod
    diya hoga?
    HUDA
    Haan...phir?

    34

    83.

    PUMMYS FATHER
    (To Pummy) Pair nikaal... oh
    sirjee... ye machchli akele nahin
    reh paati... pair le jao... no
    extra charge
    Huda is happy.
    PUMMYS FATHER (CONTD)
    (Giving him the two fish) Pandrah
    sau ho gaye ji...
    HUDA
    Paise kis baat ke? Ghalti aapke
    chhore ki hai...akeli machchli kyon
    di...
    PUMMYS FATHER
    Haan ji praava...toh main toh free
    main replace karke de hi raha hoon
    na... lekin doosri ke paise toh
    loonga na...chalo 1250 de do boni
    ka time hai...
    Huda looks at him.
    CUT TO:
    35

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE

    35

    Two fish are being put into the bowl. Huda watches them swim.
    He looks around the house and checks the time.
    CUT TO:
    LEGEND: 10 DAYS TO GO
    36

    EXT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE

    36

    There is a tribal family from Manipur standing outside. It's


    TOMBI SANJEMBAM , who is half the height of Huda, stiff and
    lean. TOMBI SANJEMBAM 's father - PISHAK SANJENBAM , mother SARITA SANJEMBAM and her five year old brother LOYA
    SANJEMBAM -Mother is in traditional Manipuri saari , father
    wears normal pant and shirt. Swollen eyes, Pishak looks real
    drunkard. He Carries a bottle-tied in his waist. Loya who is
    exceptionally obsessed is still munching something. Mother
    carries rice and other ingredients in small cloth wraps. As
    they enter they see the idol of Lord Ganesha at the entrance.
    Mother halts and fold her hands. Tombi hit Loya who is still
    engrossed eating pop corns. Loya folds his hands too. Father
    Seems dozing.

    84.

    MOTHER
    (In their local language)
    He prabhu hum pehli baar apne desh
    ki raajdhaani mein aaye hain.
    Hamein buri aatmaaon se
    bachaana.(Signals)Come now!
    Huda looks confused as he finds it difficult to communicate.
    He escorts the family in and opens the door.
    HUDA
    Aiye aaiye, welcome home.
    Mother realizes that father is still standing outside folding
    his hands. Rather he is snoring while standing. Mother scolds
    him.
    SARITA SANJEMBAM (LOCAL LINGO)
    Kisi aur ke ghar aaye ho. Kuch to
    sharm karo.
    Father get back to his senses and comes in. They all stare at
    the big portrait of Mrs and Mr Mishra. Loya makes a silent
    escape. Huda introduces.
    HUDA (DRAMATICALLY TURNS EMOTIONAL)
    Mausi mausa hain mere...paanch saal
    pehle Mehrauli mein car accident
    mein poore ho gaye
    Tombi translates in Manipuri.
    TOMBI SANJEMBAM (LOCAL LINGO)
    She is his aunt and uncle. Passed
    away in road accident.
    SARITA SANJEMBAM (LOCAL LINGO)
    Aur isske maa-baap?ye Ghar kiska
    hai?
    Tombi translates in hindi which is mere understandable.
    TOMBI SANJEMBAM
    Mummy pooch raha hai ki ma-baap
    kahan hain...ghar kiska?
    Huda finds this problematic but he smartly manages.
    HUDA (DRAMATICALLY WEEPS)
    Aaji ma baap to bachpan mein hi
    tractor accident mein Hisaar mein
    sidhaar gaye.
    (MORE)

    85.
    HUDA (DRAMATICALLY WEEPS) (CONT'D)
    Phir Maasi masa ne hi paala.Unke
    jaane ke baad bas ye ghar aur unki
    yaadein hi reh gayi hain.

    Tombi's mother drags her hubby and kneels down in front of


    the photograph and starts praying again.
    SARITA SANJEMBAM (LOCAL LINGO)
    Aap jaisi punya aatmaayein kabhi
    kabhi hi janma leti hain. Hamari
    shradhdhanjali sweekaar karein.
    Mother finishes and then look for Loya.
    SARITA SANJEMBAM (CONTD)
    (Manipuri) Loya, son, where are
    you?
    Huda also starts to looks for Loya, tries to imitate what the
    mother is saying.
    HUDA
    (Broken Manipuri) Loya, son, where
    are you?
    Father is still mourning taking loud snores. Suddenly they
    hear bedroom door knob throb. They turn towards it.
    CUT TO:
    37

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE/DAY

    37

    SUDHA MISHRA (O.S.)


    Jhatke main darwaaza aise khula,
    jaise chalte plane ka darwaaza khol
    diya ho...main door jaake
    giri...mere sar table se
    takraaya...
    The bedroom door swings open, Sudha Mishra is knocked to one
    side, and she falls dramatically hitting her head on a side
    table.
    Ek CHUDAIL nikli! Chehra baalon
    se dhakka hua, Ghurra rahi thhi!
    lambe lambe nakhun thhe, aankehin
    soorkh laal...aur nakhunon se khoon
    tapak raha thha! Sar aur paer ulte
    ghoomein hue thhe! aur jaise plane
    take off karta hai, waise hi udti
    hui ghar se bahar gayab ho gayi!

    86.

    A woman with hair over her face, flies out the door. Her
    nails are long and pointed and she is growling. Blood is
    dripping from her nails. Her face is turned completely
    around.
    In the present, Sudha's hall is filled with Loban smoke as a
    Tantrik is warding off spirits. She has a brace around her
    neck and a white bandage around her head.
    TANTRIK
    Chinta mat karo baalike...sorry
    aunty ji... (Closes his eyes) Om
    bhairvaay nama...chamndaay
    namaa...nikal bahar iss ghar
    se...om bhasmasam hreeng chamundaay
    namah..
    Sudhas eyes are red and watery. She is telling the Tantrik
    her tale.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Bahut darawani thi baba
    TANTRIK
    Hmm..chudailein khoobsurat nahi
    hoti.om bhasamashay namah...Om
    chamundaay namahh...sheeng dheem...
    Sudha tries to speak louder than the baba.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Safed kapde, khoon se bhare hue aur
    maathe par bada sa kala teekaa...
    Tantrik recites much louder
    TANTRIK
    Ommm chamundaay namah...hreeng
    shreeng kali namahh...
    Sudha finds difficult to speak as shes choking on the smoke.
    She still gets louder.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Jaanwaron ki tarah...gurra rahi
    thi...
    TANTRIK
    (Much louder)
    Ommm...shreeng treem chamundaay
    namah...
    Before Sudha can talk again, the baba puts his hand up

    87.

    TANTRIK (CONTD)
    Bas, bas...sab nazar aa gaya hai,
    Purane janm ki kaali chhaya hai
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Yahan apne iss janam mein saath
    nahin de rahe, ye pichhle janam ki
    kahan se aa gayi!
    TANTRIK
    (Very serious) Kyonki wo tujhse
    purana badla chahti hai...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Badla?
    Her face drops down. A closer look at the Tantrik and we
    realize it's the thief who was trying to break into Pummy's
    shop a few days back. Sudhaa starts coughing with the loban.
    TANTRIK
    (In a trance)
    Kuch ashubh hone wala hai...sitaare
    bata rahe hain ki wo yahin
    hai...aas paas...aaja ...aaja...Om
    chamudaay namah...Kuch ashubh hone
    wala hai...
    CUT TO:
    LEGEND: 7 Days to go
    38

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRA'S HOUSE/NIGHT

    38

    Tombi sleeps with her mom in bedroom whereas Huda sleeps in


    the middle of hall having Tombis snoring father and munching
    mouth brother on either sides respectively. He gets restless.
    He gets up and tries sleeping again. As he lies down, he gets
    up horrified listening a ultra loud snore from Tombis
    father. He is surprised to see Loya, who is still sleeping
    with his wide mouth opened but munches in between. Huda makes
    face and sleeps again helplessly covering his face with a bed
    sheet.
    MATCH CUT TO:
    INT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE/DAY
    Clock strikes 12 at noon. Huda is still sleeping. Tombis
    family looks Huda.

    88.

    SARITA SANJEMBAM (LOCAL LINGO)


    Ye itni der tak kyun soya hua hai.
    Kahin ye sharaab to nahi...
    Father who is still sipping something.
    PISHAK SANJEMBAM (LOCAL LINGO)
    Main to pehle se hi jaanta tha ki
    ladka theek nahi hai.
    SARITA SANJEMBAM (LOCAL LINGO)
    Mutters) Subah Se hi baith jaate
    hain.chi...
    Loya again makes an escape but returns soon with a fish in
    his hand. Its stinking. Huda makes face and gets up smelling
    the bad odor. He sees the fish in Loyas hand.
    HUDA
    Oye ye kya hai tere haath
    mein.Machli Maar di.
    He gets up furiously to see the fish tank. Fish Is floating
    happily. Huda is relieved. Loya again brings the dead fish
    near Huda;s face. Huda this time hold his nose.
    HUDA (CONTD)
    Oye door rakh bol ryaa hoon. Ke Hai
    ye?
    Tombi scolds Loya.
    TOMBI SANJEMBAM (LOCAL LINGO)
    Go and put it back...go!
    Father quips.
    PISHAK SANJEMBAM (LOCAL LINGO)
    Put in the fry pan...I am hungry.
    Mother instantly reacts.
    SARITA SANJEMBAM (LOCAL LINGO)
    Machli dekhi nahi ki fry pan yaad
    aa jaata hai.
    Sarita and Loya heads back to the kitchen. Tombi explains
    Huda with effort.
    TOMBI SANJEMBAM
    Ye hamare wahan ka fish hai...isse
    NGARY kehte hai...

    89.

    HUDA
    Arre nar ho ya naari...Par ye yahan
    mein ke kar rahi sai...?
    TOMBI SANJEMBAM
    fermented hai...bahut tasty.
    Huda again puts hand over his nose.
    HUDA
    Hmm...par bahut baas maarti hai.
    Tombi affectionately asks and deviates the topic.
    TOMBI SANJEMBAM
    Tum late soyi hui thi...Kyun? Tum
    sharaab peeti?
    Seeing the mood, Huda thinks of not telling her truth.
    HUDA
    Paagal hai ke.Bajrang bali ka
    sachcha bhakt hoon.Maas Machchisharaab se do kos door rehta hoon.
    Tombi broods as her father drinks and they all eat fish. Huda
    Realizes this.
    HUDA (CONTD)
    Par koi baat nahi main adjust kar
    loonga. Ab Jiska jaisa rehan sehan
    hai, wo to waise hi rahega.
    Tombi compliments this.
    TOMBI SANJEMBAM
    Tu kitni achchi hai.
    Huda comes closer.
    HUDA
    Apne hone wale pati ko Tu nahi aap
    kehte hain aur achchi nahi achche
    ho...koi baat nahi main manage kar
    loonga.
    Father sipping his drinks sitting on floor screams.
    PISHAK SANJEMBAM (LOCAL LINGO)
    Door raho.Ye ek number ka kameena
    hai.
    CUT TO:

    90.

    LEGEND: 4 DAYS AGO


    INT/SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE/MORNING.
    Huda as usual wakes up late. This time putting a clip and ear
    plucks in his nose and ears respectively. The skeleton of the
    fish is lying on his chest. He screams and throw it
    instantly. Loya laughs and run away. He is about to follow
    him but halts seeing Tombi. Gives fake smile to her. While
    folding the bedsheet he sees the fish tank. Fish is floating
    dead.
    Huda is staring at the empty fish bowl.
    HUDA
    Doosri bhi gayi? Kal hi to paani
    badla tha iska.
    TOMBI SANJEMBAM signals him not to make noise as her father
    is sleeping piss drunk in some awkward pose.
    HUDA (CONTD)
    (Still angry, but speaking under
    his breath) Aaj bhi ek gayab hai.
    Kal tumne kaha tha ki mar gayi thi
    isliye bahar faink di.
    TOMBI SANJEMBAM
    Haan...hum deadbody ko ghar pe nahi
    rakhti...
    Saying she takes out the dead fish and throws outside the
    window.
    HUDA
    Par aaj waali ko kya ho gaya?
    Father wakes up. He Quickly gulps in a sip. Both Tombis
    parents turn to look at Huda who just screamed.
    PISHAK SANJEMBAM (LOCAL LINGO)
    (Manipuri) I knew he will behave
    like this. I doubted him from the
    very first day. Bloody con man!
    A phone beep is heard and Huda spots his mobile phone is in
    Loya's hand. He quickly rushes to him and takes away his
    phone. He tightens his jaw.
    HUDA
    Isi ne kuch kiya hoga machli ka,
    saala jab se aaya hai jeena haraam
    kar rakhya hai.
    (MORE)

    91.
    HUDA (CONT'D)
    Kabhi DVD par baith ke khana khana
    hai, kabhi fridge mein baith jata
    hai. Aage se kisi cheez ko haath
    lagaya to chodhunga nahi...

    He angrily towers over Loya. Loya doesnt get scared but


    instead makes a striking pose
    LOYA (LOCAL LINGO)
    Itna bada nahi hota to patak patak
    ke maarta.
    Tombi intervenes
    TOMBI SANJEMBAM
    (Manipuri) Iss bachchi par kyun
    naraaz ho rahi hai? Tumne hi humein
    bulayi thi...
    HUDA
    Main is bachchi par naraaz nahi ho
    rahi hoon...(realizes)shh...ho raha
    hoon ...(Sighing) main toh bas ye
    keh raha tha ki roz roz machliyaan
    laaunga to khaane ke laale pad
    jayeinge... ek pandrah sau ki
    hai... Kaise manage kareinge? Main
    toh sirf ye pooch raha hoon ke
    machhli mari kaise?
    Tombis father comes on four legs to Huda and raises his hand
    PISHAK SANJEMBAM (LOCAL LINGO)
    Bhagwaan ne pyaar se bheji thi,
    ussi ko pyaari ho gayi.
    PISHAK SANJENBAM points up towards the ceiling, Huda looks up
    confused.
    CUT TO:
    39

    INT/PUMMY'S SHOP/DAY

    39

    Huda at Pummy's store. Pummy is on Facebook. He has just


    received a new link. He clicks on it.
    HUDA
    Oye... phir gayi teri machchi...
    Pummy doesnt respond, hes watching Rajpal's Kathak video.
    He has a hearty laugh. Huda screams at him.

    92.

    HUDA (CONTD)
    Pehli mari to tune bola ki paani
    ganda hoga. Fresh Paani dala to bhi
    mar gayi.
    Pummy still watching the computer and laughing. This fumes
    Huda.He Bang the counter.
    HUDA (CONTD)
    Saale main yahan bhounk raha hoon
    aur tu daant phaad raha hai!
    PUMMY
    (Still laughing at the video) Arre
    kya roz roz dimaag ka dhai karne
    pahunch jaata hai bhai!
    HUDA
    (Grabs Pummy by the collar and
    pulls him up) Mujhe nahin pata ke
    chakkar kya hai, par aaj jo machchi
    dega... gayab nahin honi chahiye...
    Pummy frees himself from Hudas clasp.
    PUMMY
    (Staring at Huda) Oye... haath kyon
    laga raha hai... aisi machchli deta
    hoon... tu gayab ho jaayega par
    usko kuchh nahin hoga...
    CUT TO
    40

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRA'S HOUSE/EARLY NIGHT

    40

    There is complete silence except for the chattering of teeth.


    A monster like fish is inside the fish bowl. It barely fits
    inside the bowl. TOMBI SANJEMBAM is fast asleep with her
    mother. Huda is lying wide awake in the same posture between
    snoring father and munching Loya. After a while he sees that
    Loya quietly gets up and walks. Huda sees him. Loya goes to
    the kitchen and takes something out from the fridge. He takes
    bit morsels and burps. Loya walks back and halts near the
    fish tank. He sees that fish is not responding. He taps the
    tank but fish doesnt move. He takes out the fish. Just then
    lights are switched on. Its Huda who stands furiously staring
    at him.
    HUDA
    Behan ke takke., tabhi main sochoon
    ki aise kaise mar rahi hain
    machliyaan!

    93.

    LOYA (LOCAL LINGO)


    Maine kuch nahi kiya, ye to pehle
    se hi mari hui thi.
    Huda takes a step further. Horrified Loya screams.
    TOMBI SANJEMBAM and SARITA SANJENBAM come running out too.
    PISHAK SANJENBAM also wakes up. He quickly gulps in some sip.
    PISHAK SANJEMBAM
    (In Manipuri) Forgive him God, he
    knows not what he is doing
    HUDA
    saale aaj nahi chodhoonga.Kangaal
    Bana diye mujhe.
    Huda grabs Toya. TOMBI SANJEMBAM comes in between and
    removes Loya from Huda's clutches.
    TOMBI SANJEMBAM
    Arre bachchi hai...
    HUDA
    Bachchi hai? arre Yo shaitaan to
    bachchion ko maa bana de.
    Tombi holds Loya emotionally who is now weeping. Tombi looses
    seeing her brother weeping.
    TOMBI SANJEMBAM
    main jaanti thi...nahi ho sakta.
    Adjust karegi...manage karegi...tu
    boli thi...You all are same.(She
    turns towards her parents, in
    Manipuri) Chalo ab hum yahan nahi
    raheinge....(Back to Huda) Main
    jaati...
    HUDA
    Arre, jaane ko nahin keh raha hoon,
    main to bas insaano ki tarah rehne
    ke liye bol raha hoon. TOMBI
    samjho!
    He is interrupted by a large knock on the door followed by
    continuos door bell ringing. A womans voice comes through
    LAXMI (O.S.)
    Arre kaththe mar gaya... khol!
    Huda panics. He realizes its his wife. PISHAK opens the door.
    A small five-year-old boy rushes in and hugs Huda.

    94.

    BHOLU
    Baapu!
    A woman comes rushing in next and pulls the kid away.
    LAXMI
    Door reh iss haraami se... sharam
    tak na hai shakal pe... ghar baar
    chodh ke pata nahi kiske ghar
    rangraliyaa mana ryo sai...Thanne
    to baad mein nibtoongi, pehle iss
    saali ki aarti utaaran de(Turns to
    TOMBI SANJEMBAM ) Chudail!
    HUDA
    (In shock) Laxmi...Laxmi..sun...sun
    Rajpal rushes in and punches him.
    RAJPAL
    Mat sunna Bhabhi iski...saanp hai
    saala!
    Huda goes reeling back. Laxmi grabs TOMBI SANJEMBAM
    hair.

    by the

    LAXMI
    Kameeni mhaare pati pe doore daale
    sai, aankhyaa noch loongi thaari...
    SARITA start praying, whereas Loya comes and pushes Bholu to
    the ground.
    HUDA
    (Gets up and lands a punch of his
    own on Rajpal) Baawle... ke kar
    diya ye tune!
    RAJPAL
    Kyun !apni Pe lagi to dard ho rya
    sai, hor jo taine mhari zindagi
    barbaad kardi uska ke! Baat hui thi
    na...ki raaz ki gaanth kabhie nahin
    kholega... saari duniye hans rahi
    hai mujhpe! Bhalla ne bhi haath
    jhaad liya...Ab main hansoonga
    Hudde ... thare ghar ne akhaada
    banaake...
    Huda is shocked, he ducks a blow and then Rajpal and him both
    grab each other in a body lock. Loya cheers for Rajpal.
    LOYA (LOCAL LINGO)
    Meri taraf se bhi do laga dena.

    95.

    TOMBI has freed her hair from Laxmi and she takes a boxing
    stance. Animated plate appearsNORTH VS NORTH EAST. PISHAK
    and Loya cheers for Tombi.
    PISHAK SANJEMBAM (WHILE TAKING A BIG
    SIP)(LOCAL LINGO)
    Tumhein jeetna padega...hamari
    zameen ki izzat ka sawaal hai.
    She lets a huge war cry. Sounds of fighting and screaming
    emanate from the house, late at night.
    FADE OUT:
    LEGEND: AFTER A LONG COUPLE OF HOURS
    41

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRA'S HOUSE/DAY

    41

    The whole house is in a mess again. Broken aquarium, crippled


    money plant, utensils, bolsters, etc... everything is on the
    ground. Laxmi is gone. Huda is sitting holding his head.
    Rajpal is brooding about his ruined career.
    RAJPAL
    Bhains jab tak byaahti na hai, tab
    tak doodh bhi na deti. Harkat nahi
    karta to yahan tak naubat nahi
    aati.
    HUDA
    Arre taau kitni baar kahoon ki wo
    MMS maine nahi bhejya...
    Just then Rajpal gets another MMS where Huda is seen kissing
    TOMBI SANJEMBAM . He shows it to Huda. Huda angrily looks at
    Loya who is still playing with his phone. Huda runs to hit
    Loya.
    HUDA (CONTD)
    Tu hai saare phasaad ki jad...
    TOMBI stops him.
    TOMBI SANJEMBAM
    Ruk! bas...ab nahi (In Manipuri,
    turn towards her parents) Lets go
    (Turns back to Huda) Tum jhoothe
    ho...dhokebaaz bhi! Jaati maain...
    She turns. Her parents are already standing with the luggage.

    96.

    HUDA
    Kahan jaogi tum?
    TOMBI SANJEMBAM
    Sports hostel, Bhalla sir bulaati
    mujhe(She looks towards Rajpal, who
    looks away)
    They all leave, Huda and Rajpal stand in silence. After a
    moment both speak up together.
    HUDA & RAJPAL
    Sorry...
    At that point Rajpal smells something over his clothes.
    RAJPAL
    Ye baas ke cheez ki sai.
    He touch the wet floor where the aquarium is shattered and
    smells. Huda sees this.
    HUDA
    Paani hai, fish tank ko...
    RAJPAL
    Paani to naa hai.
    Rajpal tastes it and smiles.
    RAJPAL (CONTD)
    Oho samajh aagi...daaru sai, wahan
    ki ...
    HUDA
    Kahan ki?
    RAJPAL
    Arre wahi pahadon ki, jahan tu apna
    dil bhool aaya. Dikhne mein ek dum
    paani jaisi par kick -super solid!
    Lekin yo daru fish tank mein ke kar
    rahi sai?
    Hudas eyes widens. He recalls how he changed the water and
    poured Angouba, the local rice wine from Manipur(color
    less and looks like water only) which Tombis father brought
    from Manipur. Huda realizes his misunderstanding of Loya
    killing the fishes. He quietly gets up and starts walking
    outside the door.
    RAJPAL (CONTD)
    Arre ke huaa...kidhaar jaa ryaa
    sai?

    97.

    HUDA
    Ab to Bajrangbali bhi manne maaf
    nahi karega...ghor apraadh ho gaya.
    Rajpal also follows him shutting the main door.
    CUT TO:
    42

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRA'S HOUSE/DAY

    42

    The image on screen is out of focus. It slowly comes into


    focus as Sudha Mishra gets up holding her head. As she opens
    her eyes she finds herself tied up. After some efforts she
    manages to free herself. The Tantrik is not there. The door
    of the loo and bedroom is open. The big portrait is lying
    down on the floor. She goes inside the bedroom. The cupboard
    is opened and clothes are scattered all over. Clearly the
    Tantrik has taken everything of any value. Just then a bell
    rings. She's greeted by another Tantrik.
    REAL TANTRIK
    Sudhaa Mishra ji yahin rehti hai?
    Mujhe Mrs. Hullar ne bheja hai.
    Sudha shuts the door and rushes to the phone and dials.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Hello, police station!
    CUT TO:
    LEGEND: 3 Days to go
    43

    INT/ BEACH-MUMBAI/EVENING

    43

    Suman in Mumbai is getting her photograph clicked at a famous


    landmark. During a setup change, she gets a call. The number
    is an international one. She answers.
    SUMAN
    Hello?
    SUDHA MISHRA (ON PHONE)
    Bitch!
    Sits up straight
    SUMAN
    What! Maasi?
    SUDHA MAISHRA (ON PHONE)
    I can't stand that bitch!

    98.

    SUMAN
    Bitch? Kaun, kiski baat kar rahi
    ho?
    SUDHA MISHRA (ON PHONE)
    Aur kaun wahi...bahu kahoon ya kuch
    aur samajh mein nahi aata...jeena
    haraam kar rakha hai
    SUMAN
    O ho maasi, aapne toh daraa hi
    diya, wo indian nahi hai, thoda to
    adjust karne ka time toh do usse...
    SUDHA MISHRA (ON PHONE)
    Arre wo to insaan bhi nahi
    hai...chudail hai chudail...yahin
    ke kisi kabile ko belong karti
    hai...meri to zindagi barbaad kar
    di iss ladke ne. Mujhse aur
    bardaasht nahin hoga...main aa rahi
    hoon...
    SUMAN
    Haan haan maasi, ab toh paanch hi
    din reh gaye...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Paanch din main toh mera panchnama
    ho jayega. Parso raat ki flight hai
    meri! Khair woh chhod, sab kaise
    hain ghar pe?
    SUMAN
    Uhhm, ma aur papa theek hai aur
    Sumit...
    SUDHA MISHRA (ON PHONE)
    Arre ISD pe kyun time barbaad kar
    rahi hai... ghar kaisa hai, Mishti
    aur mera money plant theek hai na?
    SUMAN
    (Sighing) Haan maasi... sab theek
    hi hai... kya hoga unhein...aap...
    The phone disconnects as shes speaking. She looks at her
    phone and then quickly dials.
    CUT TO:

    99.

    44

    INT/ LIFESTYLE CHANNEL/ EVENING

    44

    Sumit is sitting on a chair, his feet are up on the desk.


    Hes sleeping. His phone rings. He answers without opening
    his eyes.
    SUMIT
    Hello
    SUMAN
    Sumit
    SUMIT
    (Yawning) Hey jaan... hows the
    shoot going?
    SUMAN
    Maasi waapis aa rahin hai parso,
    ghar theek hai na?
    SUMIT
    Haan...haan...ghar ko kya hona
    hai...roz poochti ho
    SUMAN
    (Sighs in releif) Thanks jaan,
    chalo bye... main pack up ke baad
    phone karti hoon
    SUMIT
    Ok...bye
    He disconnects and casually puts the phone back on the desk.
    He goes back to sleep. A moment later he again reaches for
    his phone and dials Neerav.
    CUT TO:
    45

    EXT/ ROAD/ EVENING

    45

    Ravi is in his car. Hes stopped outside a panwaadi.


    RAVI
    (To panwaadi) Do Rajni de...
    His phone rings. He answers as he tears the Rajnigandha pan
    masala packet and puts it into his mouth in some unusual
    Rajnikant style.
    RAVI (CONTD)
    (With mouth stuffed with pan
    masala) Huhhh Shumit...

    100.

    SUMIT (ON PHONE)


    Neerav ko kya hua hai?
    RAVI
    Kyun?
    SUMIT (ON PHONE)
    Phone pe cheekhe jaa raha thha,
    gaaliyon pe gaaliyan de raha hai
    tujhe! Kya hua?
    RAVI
    (Shakes his head) U huh... kuchh
    nahin... chikna senti ho jaata hai
    jaldi...
    SUMIT (ON PHONE)
    Maasi aa rahi hai parson, ghar
    theek hai na?
    RAVI
    Ek dum fit...ek dum...toh aaja kal
    tak
    SUMIT (ON PHONE)
    Main tujhe milta hoon, barah baje
    tak.
    RAVI
    (Spits out the pan masala) Done
    CUT TO:
    46

    INT/ DABRI VILLAGE/ EVENING

    46

    Kathak tapes are playing on screen as Meenal, Rajpal and an


    old Haryanvi gentleman sit and watch. Meenal pauses the tape.
    MEENAL
    Tau, isse Kathak kehve hai...
    duniya main kaafi maani hui cheez
    hai...
    The old man looks at Meenal and then looks at Rajpal. Just
    then Meenals phone rings.
    MEENAL (CONTD)
    Raj, tu dikha Tau ne, main ek
    minute aayi
    She answers.

    101.

    MEENAL (CONTD)
    Haan bol
    RAVI (ON PHONE)
    Bewdi Rocky ko bol, woh ghar se out
    ho jaye, budiya aa rahi...kal tak
    ghar khaali chahiye...
    MEENAL
    Theek hai, idhar hi hai...poochti
    hoon (She turns around towards
    Rajpal)
    Rajpal is showing Tau some of his dance steps.
    MEENAL (CONTD)
    (Covering the speaker of the phone)
    Raj ghar waapis chahiye kal, Ravi
    ne...
    Rajpal trips and falls. There is a loud crash.
    CUT TO:
    47

    INT/ FAMILY COURT/ EVENING


    Huda is sitting with an advocate.
    HUDA
    Arre...kuchh toh karo...saari
    zameen uske naam pe hai...main
    kahaan jaake maroonga!
    ADVOCATE
    Unka case bahut strong hai...aur
    court waise bhi zyadatar auraton ke
    paksh main hi decision deta hai...
    Hudas phone rings. He answers
    HUDA
    Hello
    RAJPAL (ON PHONE)
    Hudda bhai
    HUDA
    Ke hai...
    RAJPAL (ON PHONE)
    Bhai woh ghar ke maalik waapas aa
    rahein hai...

    47

    102.

    HUDA
    Toh main kya karoon...tu bhi toh
    thha na wahann... ab jo hai woh
    hai... dekh mera dimaag waise bahut
    kharaab hai... ye problem meri na
    hai ab...good bye!
    CUT TO:
    LEGEND: 2 Days to Go
    48

    EXT/INT/SUDHA MISHRA'S HOUSE/ DAY

    48

    Sumit arrives at the house. He tries to call Ravi, who isn't


    answering. Sumit enters the front gate and walks up to the
    door.
    SUMIT
    Andar bathroom main baitha hoga...
    As he is about to step in, his phone rings. Its Suman
    calling.
    SUMIT (CONTD)
    Haan Su, main ghar par hi
    hoon...maine socha, just ek final
    check kar loon...
    Sumit enters and his heart sinks. Suman meanwhile keeps
    talking.
    SUMAN
    Great...please...thodi saaf safai
    bhi kar dena...maasi khush...khair
    khush toh nahin...par shaayad thoda
    kam bhadke...(giggles)
    The house is in an almighty mess. The fish is lying in the
    bucket of water. Casually swimming around, Sumit puts his
    hand in and the fish nearly bites it off. Sumit is shit
    scared. He paces around. Meanwhile Suman continues to chatter
    over the phone.
    SUMAN (CONTD)
    Mujhe yaad hai...bachpan main maine
    maasi ke carpet pe roohafza gira di
    thhi...chaar saal tak Maasi ne
    mujhe ghar pe ghussne nahin diya
    thhaa...anyways sab theek hai na...
    Sumit is in a trance and not replying.

    103.

    SUMAN (CONTD)
    Sumit...hello
    SUMIT
    Huh...haan...main...ill just call
    you back.
    He hangs up and desperately looks around, not knowing what to
    do. Just then he hears Ravis voice and turns around. Ravi
    saunters in talking on the phone and eating his pan masala.
    RAVI
    Bewdi...haan...woh Raj phone nahin
    uttha raha thha isliye phone kiya
    thha...chal koi baat
    nahin...darwaaza khula hai...
    Ravi then looks around the house. Sees the mess. Sees Sumit
    standing there in the middle, staring at him. Sumit starts to
    run at Ravi. Who immediately starts running away while still
    talking on the phone.
    RAVI (CONTD)
    Saali tere bhai ne ye kya kar
    diya...boxing championship andar hi
    khel daali kya!
    SUMIT
    (Chasing Ravi)
    Tu ruk...haraamzaade...tune hi
    kuchh kiya hoga..
    RAVI
    (Running) Mere peeche kyon pad raha
    hai? Tune ghar Chikne ko diya
    thha...usko pakkad...
    SUMIT
    (Almost catching up with Ravi) Usko
    toh main baad main dekhta
    hoon...pehle tujhe line pe lagaata
    hoon...saale maasi mujhe kachcha
    chabaa jaayegi. (He manages to slap
    Ravi on the back of the head while
    running)
    RAVI
    Bhai bhai...baat sun...
    Just then Sumits phone rings and he sees its Suman calling.
    He stops and answers. He is panting. As he stops so does Ravi
    who is fully exhausted and has his hands on his knees.

    104.

    SUMIT
    Hello...haan Su...
    SUMAN
    Arre kya hua...ek dum se kaat diya
    aur phone waapis bhi nahin kiya
    SUMIT
    Nahin nahin...woh maine socha ghar
    ko set karke hi phone karta hoon...
    Ravi meanwhile is signalling Sumit to be calm. Not to worry,
    hell figure it out.
    SUMAN
    All ok...na?
    SUMIT
    Haan haan...ya ya
    SUMAN
    Theek hai love...call me
    later...bye
    He hangs up... looks up at Ravi and starts running after him
    again.
    CUT TO:
    50

    INT/SUDHA MISHRA'S HOUSE/NIGHT


    Sudha Mishra stands with Sompal and Hardyal. Hardyal gives
    her a copy of the FIR.
    HARDYAL
    Ye leejiye madam aapne bulaya aur
    hum aa gaye.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Ab kyaa achaar daloon aap logon
    ka.Jab Chori ho rahi thi tab kahan
    rehti hai aapki police?
    SOMPAL (BIT STURN)
    Dekhiye madame aap khaamkhaan hi
    bhadak rahi hain...apni bhaanji se
    hi pooch lo...humne regular nazar
    rakhi aapke ghar pe...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Aap uss badtameez se kab mile?

    50

    105.

    HARDYAL
    Arre yahi, pichhle mahine round
    pe...arre bahut achchi ladki thi...
    haan theek hai thoda ladka choose
    karne main galti ho gayi...par thi
    bahut sanskaron waali...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Ladka toh ek dum ghoncho
    hai...maine toh dekhte hi bataa
    diya thha!
    SOMPAL
    Aaap chintaa na karo madam, aise a
    samajik tatwon ko hataane ke liye
    hi to hum baithe hain. Tel pila
    pila ke dande se suthaai ki hai. Ab
    aapki aapki bhanji to kya, kissi ki
    bhanji ko dekhne layak nahi rahega.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Theek kiya aapne. Par meri bhanji
    to safe rahegi na?
    HARDYAL
    Arre kaisi baatein karti ho, ghar
    ki beti hai. Kuch nahi hoga. Lekin
    ek baat hai...aapko yahan akele
    nahin rehna chahiye...Iss budhaape
    mein kisi apne ka saath hona bahut
    zaroori hai. Waise bhi zamana bahut
    kharaab hai.
    Sudha ponders.
    CUT TO:
    51

    INT/EXT SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE/DELHI

    51

    Sumit, Meenal, Ravi & Rajpal trying to figure out what to do.
    RAVI
    Tu faltu mein tension le raha
    hai.Jo Jahan tha wahin rakh dete
    hain, bas!
    SUMIT
    Mujhe to kuch bhi yaad nahi
    hai...kisi aur ko yaad hai?
    Sumit turns to see. All Three nods simultaneously.

    106.

    MEENAL
    Main to bas ek ghante ke liye thi.
    RAVI
    Main bhi ek raat ke liye tha.
    They see Rajpal.
    RAJPAL
    Aakhir mein Huda tha...pata nahi ab
    kahan hai.
    Meenal stares Rajpal. Sumit Looks more worried.
    SUMIT
    Aur ye jo toot foot hui hai...isse
    theek karne mein to meri teen chaar
    mahine ki salary chali jayegi.
    Just then door bell rings. Rajpal volunteers to see. Rajpal
    opens the door, Its Neerav. Neerav is confused to see Rajpal
    and so as Rajpal seeing Neerav.
    NEERAV
    Aaap kaun...aur yahan kyaa kar rahe
    hain?
    RAJPAL
    Yahi to main pooch ryo soon ki
    bhaai tu kaun aur atthe ke kar rayo
    sai.
    Neerav is bit scared by this unexpected aggressive response.
    Meanwhile Meenal comes out.
    MEENAL
    Arre kisse lad rya sai baawle. Kaun
    Sai.
    Meenal just freezes seeing Neerav.
    NEERAV
    Aarre aap to uss din party mein
    thi. Yaad Aaya...Ravi ke
    saath...kahan hai wo
    kameena...batao mujhe...
    Just then Sumit and Ravi also appear from behind listening
    the noise.
    RAVI
    Kaun hai bhaaii...
    Ravi get awestruck seeing Neerav. Neerav instantly charges.

    107.

    NEERAV
    Kutte chodhoonga nahi tujhe.
    RAVI
    Arre Chikne...
    Rajpal intervenes. Ravi and Neerav mingle with each other,
    Sumit stands confused and Meenal looks puzzled. Just then
    ,one vehicle stuck their breath to their throat.
    SUMIT
    Police!
    Hardayal and Sompal are standing there.
    SOMPAL
    Idhar se nikal rahe the sochya khoj
    khabar le lein...Kahin jaan ki
    taiyaari thi ke?
    MEENAL
    Han wo maternity hospital jaa rahi
    thi...routine check up ke liye.
    Sumit, Ravi and some what Neerav is also surprised to listen
    this. Meanwhile Hardayal sees Neerav.
    HARDAYAL
    Oho...ye kaun hai.
    MEENAL
    Ye wahi hain ...hazaaron mein ek.
    Bataya tha na maine.
    SOMPAL
    Oho to ye sai wo dhokebaaz.
    All eyes turn to Neerav. Neerav gets horrified.
    NEERAV
    Dhokhebaaz...kaun main...ye kya
    chal raha hai yahan, ulte iss kutte
    ne meri Gopa ko pata nahi kahan
    gayab kar diya hai.
    HARDAYAL
    Gayab kahin nahi kiya...tere
    changul se azaad kiya hai.
    Seeing cops also taking the others side.

    108.

    NEERAV
    Sir main sach keh raha hoon , maine
    kuch nahi kiya, main to abhi abhi
    Madurai se aa raha hoon.
    Meenal makes a very worth getting sympathyface. Sompal and
    Hardayals eye sparkles on listening Madurai.
    SOMPAL (SUSPECIOUSLY)
    Deal karne?
    NEERAV
    Ji ji...aapko kaise pata chala?
    HARDAYAL
    Beta hamein sab pata hai...le ja
    isse aur seedhey remand par chadhaa
    dio.
    Neerav is being dragged by Sompal inside the jeep.
    NEERAV
    Arre yaar Sumit. Tu to bol, inhein
    samjha.
    Ravi whispers in Sumit ears.
    RAVI (WHISPERING TONE)
    Bhai ghar ko durust karne ka poora
    kharcha mera.
    Sumit helplessly turns to Neerav.
    SUMIT
    Sorry yaar.
    Neerav keeps on screaming as the jeeps drives off.
    CUT TO:
    They all are back again in the house.
    MEENAL (IRRITATINGLY)
    Khelne khane ki umar mein ma banwa
    diya. Itne jhoot bulwaaye hain tune
    ...Ab bhi agar Raj Indian team mein
    nahi khela na to dekhna.
    RAVI
    Arre main hoon na...
    SUMIT
    Ye sab kya chal raha hai? Koi
    batayega mujhe...

    109.

    RAVI
    Tu load na le, lambi kahani hai. Ye
    soch ghar kaise theek karna hai.
    SUMIT
    Hey bhagwaan tu hi bachaa sakta
    hai.
    Saying he folds his hands and look upwards.His gaze stuck to
    the big sized portrait.He jumps in excitement.
    SUMIT (CONTD)
    Mil gaya...idea mil gaya.
    Montage of them meticulously putting the house back in order.
    They are frantically travelling all around Delhi with the
    portrait. To try and get the house in exact order. Finally
    Sumit lands up at Pummys shop with the portrait.
    CUT TO:
    52

    INT/ PUMMYS SHOP/ NIGHT


    Sumit pointing to the fish bowl with a magnifying glass.
    SUMIT
    Surdy, ye waali fish de de
    PUMMY
    (Looks at the portrait closely,
    turns around and calls out to
    Vicky) Vicky, Oceans special le
    aa!
    Then Sumit points to the money plant.
    SUMIT
    Surdy, ye money plant bhi bech
    de...urgent hai kahaan dhoondhta
    phiroonga
    PUMMY
    Oh sirjee, ye khareeda nahin,
    churaya...(Stops)... haan theek
    hai, par poore hazaar loonga
    SUMIT
    Chalega surdy, chalega...de de.
    Pummy gives Sumit the fish and the plant. As Sumit walks
    away.

    52

    110.

    A peer baba type person comes in waving smoke onto Pummy. A


    closer looks tells us, its the same thief who came as the
    tantrik to Sudhas house.
    CUT TO:
    LEGEND: ONE DAY TO GO
    54

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE/ EARLY MORNING

    54

    Early morning, Ravi is passed out on the floor, Meenal is


    fast asleep on the sofa, Rajpal is yawning loudly as he and
    Sumit keep one final sofa in place. Sumit finally steps into
    the centre of the hall. Looks at the portrait and looks
    around. The house seems to be in perfect order. Fish is
    floating happily. He finally feeds the fish and waters the
    plants. A door bell rings. He panics and wakes the other
    three up and asks them all to leave. He opens to find a girl
    standing with a sign around her neck. Donate for charity, the
    girl is a mute. Sumit puts in a donation. Before leaving the
    girl gestures if she can use the loo. Just then Suman calls
    up.
    SUMIT
    Haan Su
    SUMAN (ON PHONE)
    Tum kahan ho?
    Sumit starts to panic a little.
    SUMIT
    Massi ke ghar pe hi hoon, sab theek
    hai... relax and stop worrying...
    Sumit gets the shock of his life as he sees Suman standing in
    the doorway, smiling.
    SUMAN
    Surprise!
    Sumit looks around nervously. Hoping that the others have
    left. Suman comes and hugs him and gives him a kiss.
    SUMAN (CONTD)
    Thanks jaan... you didnt let me
    down. Tumne Maasi ko wrong prove
    kar hi diya...i knew you could do
    it.
    Sumit just smiles.

    111.

    SUMIT
    Achcha please chalein...iss ghar
    main mujhe ghutan ho rahi hai...
    SUMAN
    Haan theek hai...main ek minute
    saare darwaaze and khidkiyan check
    kar leti hoon...maasi ko koi mauka
    na mila...
    Sumana and Sumit immediately lock all the doors and windows
    and leaves. As they leave, we see the bedroom door throbbing.
    CUT TO:
    55

    EXT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE/ DAY

    55

    Sudha Mishra arrives home and examines the house and finally
    opens the bedroom door as the mute girl runs out of the
    house.
    We see the exterior of the house with Sudha screaming, and
    the girl turns into a chudail and flies out of the front
    door.
    CUT TO:
    56

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE

    56

    Doorbell rings. A thoughtful Sudha Mishra opens the door. Its


    a postman.
    POSTAMN
    Madame, letter (Hands her a brown
    envelope)
    Sudha opens to find that its her husband's policy. The
    letter says that the life policy has matured and she also
    notices that she is the nominee. She puts the letter away.
    She walks up to the phone and calls someone.
    JAIDEV (ON PHONE)
    Hello?
    SUDHA MISHRA
    (Emotional) Jaidev...
    JAIDEV (ON PHONE)
    (Surprised) Sudha...Sudha tum ho?
    Sudha doesnt reply, her eyes are moist.

    112.

    JAIDEV (ON PHONE) (CONTD)


    Itne saalon baad...tum theek toh ho
    na...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Tum toh chahte hi ho ke main mar
    jaaon, life policy bhi karayee thhi
    toh woh bhi saath tak ki...kya
    sochcha thha ke tab tak toh main
    chal hi basoongi...main yahan se
    tas se mas nahin hone waali!
    JAIDEV (ON PHONE)
    Sudha Sudha...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Mar gayi tumhare liye
    Sudha...tumhari bheji hui chuadail
    toh maar hi gayi thhi mujhe!
    JAIDEV (ON PHONE)
    Chudail?
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Chudail, uska chehra baalon se
    dhakka hua thha, jaanwaron jaisi
    ghurra rahi thhi, lambe lambe
    nakhoon thhe uske jinse khoon
    tapakta rehta hai, uska chehra ulta
    ghooma hua thha aur woh....
    Sudha Mishra continues to ramble on as the fish watches her
    from the bowl.
    The End
    OPTION 2 FOR LAST SCENE.
    56

    INT/ SUDHA MISHRAS HOUSE

    56

    Doorbell rings. A thoughtful Sudha Mishra opens the door. Its


    a postman.
    POSTAMN
    Madame, letter (Hands her a brown
    envelope)
    Sudha opens and finds that its their advocates letter. She
    reads.

    113.

    SUDHA MISHRA
    Wasiyat? Main Jaidev Mishra poore
    hosho hawaas mein apne advocate Shri Hari Bhushan ke saamne apni
    poori jaydaad ka malikana haq apni
    patni Shrimati Sudhaa Mishra ko
    saunpta hoon. Mere marne ke baad...
    She immediately put down the letter and grabs the phone and
    calls someone.
    SUDHA MISHRA (CONTD)
    Hello...Jaidev
    JAIDEV (ON PHONE)
    Hello?
    SUDHA MISHRA
    (Emotional) Jaidev...
    JAIDEV (ON PHONE)
    (Surprised) Sudha...Sudha tum ho?
    Sudha doesnt reply, her eyes are moist.
    JAIDEV (ON PHONE) (CONTD)
    Itne saalon baad...tum theek toh ho
    na...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Main to theek hoon par ye tumne
    wasiyat....tum theek to ho na. Kya
    hua tumhein...?
    JAIDEV
    Wahi purani piles ki problem.
    Severe ho gaye hain. Finally
    Operation karwa raha hoon. Pata
    nahi rahoon ya na rahoon...Socha
    kam se kam apne desh mein to
    maroon. Isliye pehle Hari ke ghar
    gaya.
    Sudha sighs.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Jaidev tum India mein ho?
    JAIDEV
    Han Banaras, operation ke liye.Aaj
    subah hi aaya.

    114.

    SUDHA MISHRA
    You know what, maine tum jaisa
    bewakoof kahin nahi dekha.
    JAIDEV (ON PHONE)
    Sudha Sudha...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Mar gayi tumhare liye Sudha...poori
    zindagi roti rahi ki junk food mat
    khao, subah uth kar excercise karo
    , par nahi tumhein us chronic
    constipation ke saath rehna manzoor
    hai , par mere saath nahi.
    JAIDEV (ON PHONE)
    Oh come one Sudha...
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Kaun se hospital mein ho?
    JAIDEV
    Private clinic hai, Par tum
    pareshaan mat ho.
    Sudha quickly gets up. Picks up his purse, still talking on
    phone. Halts.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    Kyun ? Kisi aur ko saath laaye ho
    kya?
    JAIDEV
    Sudhaa tum bhi na...piles kaafi
    nahi hain jo kisi aur ko saath
    lata.
    Sudha quickly picks up the keys before putting the curtains.
    SUDHA MISHRA (SMILES WHILE SWIPING HER
    TEARS)
    Main Aa rahi hoon.
    JAIDEV
    Arre par..
    SUDHA MISHRA
    I am coming and thats final.
    She reaches to the main door. Turns and come back. Picks up
    the fish bowl. Still on phone.

    115.

    SUDHA MISHRA (CONTD)


    Waise bhi yahan chudail ka waas
    hai...
    JAIDEV
    Chudail?
    While shutting the door. Walks briskly and stops the taxy.
    SUDHA MISHRA
    (to cabby)Air port ...Chudail, uska
    chehra baalon se dhakka hua thha,
    jaanwaron jaisi ghurra rahi thhi,
    lambe lambe nakhoon thhe uske jinse
    khoon tapakta rehta hai, uska
    chehra ulta ghooma hua thha aur
    woh....
    Sudha Mishra continues to ramble as the cab drives away.
    The End

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