2008 Federal Resource Packet

Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community
2008 Resource Packet
Protecting Children • Promoting Healthy Families • Preserving Communities

Letter from the Associate Commissioner
Nurturing and effective parenting are critical to children’s development, health, and lifelong
well-being. All children need parents who can identify, meet, and advocate for their needs. While
all parents want to do their best, they cannot always do it alone. By recognizing and building upon
existing strengths within the family and community, we can partner with parents and caregivers as
they work to strengthen their families and provide a safe, loving environment for their children.
The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Children’s Bureau, Office on Child Abuse
and Neglect, its Child Welfare Information Gateway, and the FRIENDS National Resource Center for
Community-Based Child Abuse Prevention created this resource packet to support a wide range of
service providers who work with parents, other caregivers, and their children with the common goal
of promoting healthy families. This packet is targeted specifically for service providers, so that they
can more effectively promote healthy families.
Research has demonstrated that five important factors can help families protect children
from the risk of child abuse and neglect. This packet supports strategies to develop and enhance
these five factors:
 Nurturing and attachment
 Knowledge of parenting and of child and youth development
 Parental resilience
 Social connections
 Concrete supports for parents
The packet also contains resources to promote community awareness of these protective
factors, for use during Child Abuse Prevention Month and throughout the year. These resources
were developed with input from numerous national organizations, Federal partners, and parents
committed to promoting healthy families.
We all can play a part in creating safe homes and communities for children. Thank you for all that
you do to protect children and strengthen families.
Susan Orr, Ph.D.

Associate Commissioner
Children’s Bureau
Table of Contents
Chapter 1: Overview ....................................................................................................................5
About This Packet....................................................................................................................... 7
Protective Factors for Promoting Healthy Families ................................................................... 9
Partnering With Parents and Caregivers ..................................................................................11
Chapter 2: The Five Protective Factors.................................................................................13
Promoting the Five Protective Factors ......................................................................................15
Nurturing and Attachment........................................................................................................16
Knowledge of Parenting and of Child and Youth Development ..............................................19
Parental Resilience ................................................................................................................... 22
Social Connections....................................................................................................................25
Concrete Supports for Parents................................................................................................. 28
Chapter 3: Tip Sheets for Parents .......................................................................................... 31
Using Tip Sheets for Parents .....................................................................................................33
Bonding With Your Baby...........................................................................................................35
Usted y su bebé: El lazo que los une........................................................................................ 36
Dealing With Temper Tantrums................................................................................................37
Los berrinches .......................................................................................................................... 38
Setting Rules With Teens...........................................................................................................39
Los adolescentes y las reglas .................................................................................................... 40
Finding Help When You Need It ...............................................................................................41
Obtenga ayuda cuando la necesite ......................................................................................... 42
Raising Your Grandchildren..................................................................................................... 43
Cómo criar al hijo de un pariente............................................................................................ 44
Chapter 4: Engaging Your Community ................................................................................ 45
Tools for Engaging Your Community........................................................................................47
Talking Points........................................................................................................................... 48
Community Strategies...............................................................................................................51
Pitching Story Ideas to the Media .............................................................................................53
Chapter 5: When Children Are at Risk ................................................................................. 55
Understanding Child Abuse and Neglect..................................................................................57
Reporting Child Maltreatment ................................................................................................. 60
National Organizations That Protect Children and Promote Healthy Families....... 61
Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community www.childwelfare.gov/preventing

Chapter 1: Overview
About This Packet
For years, the Office on Child Abuse and Neglect and its National Clearinghouse
on Child Abuse and Neglect Information—now known as Child Welfare Information
Gateway—have created an annual Community Resource Packet to support State and local
agencies and concerned citizens in promoting public awareness during Child Abuse Prevention
Month each April. Previous editions of this packet have described both community strategies and
family activities for supporting parents and promoting safe children and healthy families.
This packet continues to support child maltreatment prevention efforts by describing strategies
and activities that not only reduce risk, but also promote protective factors associated with the
prevention of child maltreatment. These protective factors increase the capacity of parents,
caregivers, and communities to protect, nurture, and promote the healthy development of children.
Intended Audience
This year’s packet suggests strategies and provides numerous resources for building the protective
factors associated with child abuse prevention. It was created for service providers who work
with parents and their children, including parent educators, family support workers, health-care
providers, teachers, childcare providers, mentors, clergy, and many more.
While the packet as a whole is not intended for use by families, Chapter 3 contains a number of
tip sheets on specific parenting topics that can be used in the context of discussions or visits with
caregivers. As with the entire packet, these tip sheets were created with input from experts and
national organizations that protect children and promote healthy families. They were designed to
engage parents in understanding the key protective factors. Other resources for promoting healthy
families are available from the national organizations listed on pages 61-64.
Goals
The goals of the packet are to:
 Promote five protective factors that research has shown to reduce the risk of child abuse and neglect
 Encourage service providers to engage and partner with parents
 Provide suggestions for community-wide efforts to raise awareness of the importance of
strengthening families

About This Packet
Using the Packet

The national organizations, Federal partners, and parents who support this effort hope that
community agencies and service providers will use this packet to reduce the risk of child abuse and
neglect by strengthening families and building on the five protective factors. By working together,
community agencies, service providers, and parents can protect children and ensure a positive future.
The packet is organized into five chapters:

 Chapter 1, Overview introduces the packet and its purpose, the five protective factors that
serve as building blocks for protecting children and promoting healthy families, and why
service providers must partner with families to achieve these goals.
 Chapter 2, The Five Protective Factors provides greater detail about each of the protective
factors, with tips for exploring parents’ strengths and needs and suggestions for resources to
share with parents.
 Chapter 3, Tip Sheets for Parents includes five short factsheets, in English and Spanish,
written at an accessible reading level and tested with parents. These tip sheets are offered for
providers to use when working directly with moms, dads, and other caregivers on specific
parenting strategies that build upon the protective factors.
 Chapter 4, Engaging Your Community includes strategies for sharing the message of child
abuse and neglect prevention, including talking points, community awareness activities, and
tips for working with the media.
 Chapter 5, When Children Are at Risk includes information about why child abuse occurs,
risk factors, consequences, and identifying and reporting maltreatment.
At the end of the packet, you will find a list of national organizations that work to protect children
and promote healthy families, including those that participated in creating this packet.
On the Child Welfare Information Gateway Website

This packet and a companion poster can be ordered or downloaded from the Child
Welfare Information Gateway website. Also available on the website are downloadable
logos and graphics that may be used to personalize resources developed for Child
Abuse Prevention Month in local communities: www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/
preventionmonth/
Child Welfare Information Gateway provides links to resources and information about child
abuse prevention, family strengthening, family-centered practice, family support, and family
preservation services. The Preventing Child Abuse & Neglect section includes information on the
five protective factors, supporting and engaging families, creating supportive communities, and
much more. Throughout this packet, links to related Information Gateway webpages will provide
you with a wealth of additional information: www.childwelfare.gov

Protective Factors for
Promoting Healthy Families
Protective factors are conditions in families and communities that, when present,
increase the health and well-being of children and families. They are attributes that
serve as buffers, helping parents who might otherwise be at risk of abusing their children to find
resources, supports, or coping strategies that allow them to parent effectively, even under stress.
For years, researchers have been studying both the risk factors common among families
experiencing abuse and neglect and those factors that protect families who are under stress. There
is growing interest in understanding the complex ways in which these risk and protective factors
interact, within the context of a child’s family, community, and society, to affect both the incidence
and consequences of abuse and neglect.
Why Focus on Promoting Protective Factors?

Research has found that successful interventions must both reduce risk factors and promote
protective factors to ensure the well-being of children and families. Focusing on promoting
protective factors is a more productive approach than reducing risk factors alone because:
 Protective factors are positive attributes that strengthen all families, not just those at risk, so
families do not feel singled out or judged.
 Focusing on protective factors, which are attributes that families themselves often want to
build, helps service providers develop positive relationships with parents. Parents then feel
more comfortable seeking out extra support if needed. This positive relationship is especially
critical for parents who may be reluctant to disclose concerns or identify behaviors or
circumstances that may place their families at risk.
 When service providers work with families to increase protective factors, they also help
families build and draw on natural support networks within their family and community.
These networks are critical to families’ long-term success.
Which Protective Factors Are Most Important?

Research has shown that the following protective factors are linked to a lower incidence of child
abuse and neglect:
 Nurturing and Attachment. A child’s early experience of being nurtured and developing
a bond with a caring adult affects all aspects of behavior and development. When parents
and children have strong, warm feelings for one another, children develop trust that their
parents will provide what they need to thrive, including love, acceptance, positive guidance,
and protection.
 Knowledge of Parenting and of Child and Youth Development. Discipline is both
more effective and more nurturing when parents know how to set and enforce limits and
encourage appropriate behaviors based on the child’s age and level of development. Parents
who understand how children grow and develop can provide an environment where children
can live up to their potential. Child abuse and neglect are often associated with a lack
of understanding of basic child development—or an inability to put that knowledge into
action. Timely mentoring, coaching, advice, and practice may be more useful to parents than
information alone.

Protective Factors for
Promoting Healthy Families
 Parental Resilience. Resilience is the ability to handle everyday stressors and recover from
occasional crises. Parents who are emotionally resilient have a positive attitude, creatively
problem solve, effectively address challenges, and are less likely to direct anger and frustration
at their children. In addition, these parents are aware of their own challenges—for example,
those arising from inappropriate parenting they received as children—and accept help and/or
counseling when needed.
 Social Connections. Evidence links social isolation and perceived lack of support to child
maltreatment. Trusted and caring family and friends provide emotional support to parents
by offering encouragement and assistance in facing the daily challenges of raising a family.
Supportive adults in the family and the community can model alternative parenting styles and
can serve as resources for parents when they need help.
 Concrete Supports for Parents. Many factors beyond the parent-child relationship affect a family’s
ability to care for their children. Parents need basic resources such as food, clothing, housing,
transportation, and access to essential services that address family-specific needs (such as childcare,
health and mental health care) to ensure the health and well-being of their children. Providing
concrete supports, information, and access to community resources that families need is critical.
These combined efforts help families cope with stress and prevent situations where maltreatment
could occur.
These protective factors are critical for all parents and caregivers, regardless of the child’s age,
sex, ethnicity or racial heritage, economic status, special needs, or whether he or she is raised by a
single, married, or divorced parent or other caregivers. All of these factors work together to reinforce
each other—for example, parents are more likely to be resilient in times of stress when they have
social connections and a strong attachment to their child. Protective factors can provide a helpful
conceptual framework for guiding any provider’s work with children and their families.
References
Center for the Study of Social Policy. (2003). Protective factors literature review: Early care and education
programs and the prevention of child abuse and neglect. Washington, DC: Author.
Available: www.cssp.org/uploadFiles/horton.pdf
Panel on Research on Child Abuse and Neglect, National Research Council. (1993). Understanding child
abuse and neglect. Washington, DC: National Academy Press.
Available: www.nap.edu/openbook.php?isbn=0309048893
Pollard, J., Hawkins, J., & Arthur, M. (1999). Risk and protection: Are both necessary to understand diverse
behavioral outcomes in adolescence? Social Work Research, 23(3), 145–158.
Shonkoff, J., & Phillips, D. (Eds.). (2000). From neurons to neighborhoods: The science of early childhood
development. Washington, DC: National Academy Press.
Available: www.nap.edu/openbook.php?isbn=0309069882
10 Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community www.childwelfare.gov/preventing

Partnering With
Parents and Caregivers
All parents and caregivers share a deep concern and love for their children.1 Their
desire to do the best they can for their families provides a foundation for working with them to
explore strategies for caring effectively for their children. Approaching parents as the experts on
their own children, listening openly to their concerns and perspectives, and seeking solutions
with them (rather than providing for them) help foster a trusting relationship.
When we work with parents in a spirit of true partnership, mothers, fathers, and other caregivers
are more likely to invite and welcome providers’ support in evaluating needs, developing goals, and
identifying effective ways to strengthen the family and provide care for children.
Benefits of Partnership
Partnering with parents and caregivers:
 Focuses attention on the overall well-being of the child and family, rather than on specific
“symptoms” in isolation
 Results in more competent and relevant supports, as providers gain a greater understanding
of families’ perspectives, homes, and environments
 Fosters parent leadership skills, resulting in more confident parenting and an enhanced ability of
mothers, fathers and other caregivers to advocate for their families’ needs
 Promotes lasting change, as parents build on existing skills and enhance natural support
networks that will extend beyond the time frame of a provider’s involvement
The Meaning of Partnership

Working in partnership with parents and caregivers means:
 Understanding that all parents have strengths, and helping families build on their strengths
and recognize their personal power to ensure family success
 Viewing parents as the experts on their own children, supporting them with resources and
sharing responsibility for outcomes
 Listening carefully to parents’ concerns and helping them identify solutions that will work for
their family
 Including parents in the development, implementation, and evaluation of processes and
programs that are driven by parents’ needs and incorporate their ideas and suggestions
 Helping parents take responsibility and learn to advocate more effectively for themselves and
their children
 Working to understand parents’ language and culture, and adjusting communication to
reflect differences
1
Although the term “parents” is used throughout this packet for brevity, we recognize that these
considerations are applicable when working with all caregivers, including grandparents and other relatives.
Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community www.childwelfare.gov/preventing 11

Partnering With
Parents and Caregivers
Building Successful Partnerships

Successful partnership includes being respectful and responsive to parents’ concerns about work
schedules, family responsibilities, and past experiences. Parents need to be empowered to identify
solutions that make sense within their cultural and family context and that fit with their individual
parenting style. The following is a list of questions to ask yourself to help ensure you are doing
everything possible to structure your program or service in a way that welcomes moms, dads, and
other caregivers, invites their trust, and helps them to feel comfortable:
 Are parents’ opinions solicited and considered? Are parents invited to “translate” the five
protective factors in ways that make sense for their lives and cultures?
 Are parents encouraged to identify strengths in themselves, in their children, and in their
family and community? Do these shape the focus of discussion?
 Are meeting times flexible, depending on the family’s availability?
 Are meetings held in locations that are convenient for parents? Are transportation and
childcare offered?
 Are parents given the opportunity to identify new roles or ways of approaching things?
 Do staff members speak the parents’ language fluently?
 Are materials provided in the parents’ native language and tested with parent groups?
 Are materials and messages provided in multiple formats to reflect various literacy levels and
preferences (written, oral, graphic)?
 Are the traditions and values of the family’s culture that influence child rearing recognized
and respected?
 Are elements of the family’s culture incorporated into the look and feel of the meeting space,
curriculum or other text, and materials?
 Are parent leaders involved in all aspects of program planning, implementation,
and evaluation?
Also, be sure to ask parents and caregivers how they envision a “partnership” with their service
providers. Solicit feedback about their satisfaction with the service provider’s ability to promote the
partnership and identify family strengths.
For more on partnering with families and youth, visit the Child Welfare Information
Gateway webpage on Partnering With Parents: www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/promoting/
partnering.cfm

Chapter 2:
The Five Protective Factors
Promoting the
Five Protective Factors
This chapter provides background and guidance for service providers and others
on exploring each of the five protective factors with parents. Each protective factor is
addressed individually, and for each one you will find:
 Brief background on why the protective factor is important for strengthening families and
reducing the risk of abuse or neglect
 Areas to explore with parents as you both identify strengths and needs, and questions for
parents to consider that will facilitate the dialogue
 Strategies and resources that may serve to strengthen families
For each protective factor, the focus is on helping parents identify and build on their strengths
and on empowering them to identify strategies for enhancing their parenting capacity. This provides
the foundation for the provider to work in partnership with the parent and family to explore
opportunities for supporting the family.
The resources and suggestions provided in this chapter are just a starting point for
developing the parent-provider partnership. Other considerations are equally important. For
example, the parent and provider should find a mutually comfortable place to meet, such as
the parent’s home, a coffee shop, a picnic bench in a nearby park, or at a religious institution or
school. A casual setting may facilitate a more friendly and conversational discussion.
The five protective factors covered in this chapter are:

 Nurturing and attachment—The importance of early bonding, as well as nurturing
throughout childhood. Building a close bond helps parents better understand, respond to,
and communicate with their children.
 Knowledge of parenting and of child and youth development—Information about what
to anticipate as children develop and strategies for effective parenting. Parents learn what to
look for at each age and how to help their children reach their full potential.
 Parental resilience—How parents’ ability to cope and problem solve affects their ability
to deal effectively with everyday stress or a major crisis. Recognizing the signs of stress and
knowing what to do about it can help parents build their capacity to cope.
 Social connections—Identifying ways to help parents expand their social networks to build
a broader base of parenting support. Parents with an extensive network of family, friends, and
neighbors have better support in times of need.
 Concrete supports for parents—Finding out what basic resources are available in the
community and how to access them to address family-specific needs. Caregivers with access
to financial, housing, and other concrete resources that help them meet their basic needs can
better attend to their role as parents.
For more information on protective factors that reduce the risk of child abuse and neglect,
visit the Child Welfare Information Gateway webpage on Protective Factors:
www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/promoting/protectfactors

Nurturing and Attachment
Parents today have a lot on their plates. Juggling the demands of work, home, and other
responsibilities leaves many parents feeling like they do not have nearly enough time with their
children. But even small acts of kindness, protection, and caring—a hug, a kiss, or a smile—make
a big difference to children. Research shows time and again that babies who receive affection and
nurturing from their parents have the best chance of developing into children, teens, and adults
who are happy, healthy, and competent. Research also shows that a relationship with a consistent,
caring adult in the early years is associated in later life with better academic grades, healthier
behaviors, more positive peer interactions, and an increased ability to cope with stress.
Brain development in infants is positively affected when parents work to understand and meet
their basic needs for love and affection or provide comfort when they are hungry, bored, tired,
wet, or cold. Conversely, neglectful and abusive parenting can have a negative effect on brain
development. Research shows that a lack of contact or interaction with a caregiver can change the
infant’s body chemistry, resulting in a reduction in the growth hormones essential for brain and heart
development. Furthermore, the ability to feel remorse and empathy are built on experience. Children
who lack early emotional attachments or who grow up fearful and expecting to be hurt will have a
difficult time relating to peers.
As children grow, nurturing by parents and other caregivers remains important for healthy
physical and emotional development. While physical contact becomes less important, listening and
talking become more vital to the relationship. Parents nurture their older children by being involved
and interested in the child’s school and other activities, aware of the child or teen’s interests and
friends, and willing to advocate for the child when necessary.
When parents spend time and energy discovering and paying attention to their children’s needs,
they are rewarded with positive, open, and trusting relationships with their children. Parents who
develop the ability to respond sensitively to the needs of their child, no matter what age, will find
parenting easier and more enjoyable.

www.childwelfare.gov/preventing
Exploring Strengths and Needs

Regardless of the child’s age, parents can take advantage of opportunities in their sometimes
hectic lives to listen and respond to their child in a nurturing way. Even a few minutes of quality time
in the car, at the store, or while cooking dinner mean so much to a child. Your role as a partner with
the parent is to model and acknowledge nurturing behaviors as parents make connections with their
baby, child, or teen.
In order to explore . . . Ask the parent . . .

 How the parent is handling the basic needs of  What does your child like to eat?
the child—nutrition, safety, health care  How much does your child sleep?
 What happens during a usual day or night? At
school? After school?
 How the parent observes and attends to  When you spend time with your child, what
the child do you like to do together? How long are you
 Specific play or stimulation behaviors able to spend on that activity?
 What kinds of games do you like to play with
your child?
 What does your child like to do?
 What is your child’s favorite book or story?
 How the parent responds to the  What does your child do when he/she is sad,
child’s behavior angry, tired?
 What happens when your child: _____
[tantrums, bedwetting, skipping school]?
 How the parent responds to emotional needs  How do you know when your child is happy?
Sad? Lonely? Hurt?
 How do you comfort your child?
 How the parent demonstrates affection  How do you show affection in your family?
 How the parent models caring behavior  How do you let your child know that you love
him or her?
 How the parent recognizes accomplishments  What are your child’s greatest gifts
and talents?
 How do you encourage these talents?
 How the parent provides a safe home and  All families experience conflict from time to
family environment time. What happens when there is conflict in
your house?
 How do you keep your child safe at home? In
your neighborhood or community?

Sharing Strategies and Resources to Strengthen Nurturing and Attachment

You can share resources available from your agency and throughout the community on how
parents can connect with their children, listen to them, and become more involved in their lives. It
is important to note that bonding is a two-way street. As children grow and develop the ability to
socialize, relate, and communicate, it is easier for parents to respond positively to them. When a child
does not show a positive response to the parent (due to age, a disability, or other factors), the parent
may need additional support.
Resources to promote nurturing may include information about:
Impact of nurturing on development

 Information about infant and toddler development, including brain development
 The importance of an early secure attachment between parents and young children
 Information on shaken baby syndrome and sudden infant death syndrome
 Examples of secure parent-child attachment at all ages
Parenting strategies that promote nurturing

 Infant care and strategies that promote bonding and attachment (e.g., breastfeeding, rocking,
using a baby carrier, responding to crying)
 Cultural differences in how parents and children show affection
 What to do when your child has an emotional or behavioral disability that limits his or her
ability to respond to parental nurturing
 Ways to nurture children at every age
 How fathers nurture children
 How other important adults build caring relationships with children
 Ways to create and sustain healthy marriages that better support a nurturing home
environment for children
 Ways to create quality time to play with children in the context of daily activities
 Communicating effectively with older children and resolving conflicts
Many parents, especially parents of infants, find that home visits are a convenient way to access
resources. For providers, home visits allow you to visit with parents in an environment where parents
and children may be most comfortable. Home visits also give you a chance to talk to parents about
any material or safety needs in the home. However, some families may not feel comfortable having
strangers in their home and may prefer to meet in another setting, such as a church, school, park, or
office. For some families, a “neighborhood helper” or other person who shares the family’s ethnic and
cultural background may provide a bridge for connecting with the parent or caregiver.
There are a number of other resources for parents, including parenting support groups, parenting
classes, and home visits from specific types of providers. Activities that provide a chance to get to know
other parents, such as play groups, support groups, or classes, have the added bonus of giving parents
the opportunity to form social relationships and supports.

Knowledge of Parenting and
of Child and Youth Development
Parents know their children best—their unique behaviors, interests, and abilities.
But it is challenging for any parent to be an expert on all aspects of infant, child, and teenage
development or the most effective ways to support a child at each stage. When parents are
not aware of normal developmental milestones, or they do not know how to respond to and
effectively manage a child’s behavior, they can become frustrated and may resort to harsh
discipline or emotional withdrawal.
There is extensive research linking healthy child development to effective parenting. Children
thrive when parents provide not only affection, but also respectful communication and listening,
consistent rules and expectations, and safe opportunities that promote independence. Successful
parenting fosters psychological adjustment, helps children succeed in school, encourages
curiosity about the world, and motivates children to achieve. Parenting skills cannot be static;
as children grow and mature, parents need to change the way they respond to their children’s
needs. In addition, parenting styles need to be adjusted for each child’s individual temperament
and unique circumstances.


All parents have questions about raising their children, and they need timely answers and
support from someone they trust. Parents may feel more comfortable voicing concerns and exploring
solutions when providers:
 Focus on the parents’ own hopes and goals for their children
 Help parents identify and build on their strengths in parenting
 Model nurturing behavior by acknowledging frustrations and recognizing the parents’ efforts

 The parent’s view of their child’s strengths  What do you like about being a parent of an
 Any problems or concerns identified by infant (or preschooler, or teenager)?
the parent  What are some of the things that you find
challenging as a parent?
 How would you like your child’s experience to
be the same as or different from your own?
 How the parent observes and interprets the  What does your child do best?
child’s behavior  What kinds of things make your child happy?
 What kinds of things make your child
frustrated, sad, or angry?
 What does your child do when happy?
Frustrated? Sad? Angry?
 Ways the parent is currently responding to  What works best for your child when he/she is
the child’s needs and behaviors sad, angry, or frustrated?
 How the parent encourages positive  How have you let your child know what
behavior through praise and modeling you expect?
 What happens when she/he does what
you asked?
 How the parent understands the child’s  How do you think your child compares to
development other children his/her age?
 Any parental concern that the child’s behavior  Have others expressed concern about your
appears to be outside the normal range child’s behavior?
 Whether the parent can identify alternative  How have you seen other parents handle this?
solutions for addressing behaviors  What would your parents have done in
 Community, cultural, and ethnic this situation?
expectations and practices about parenting  All parents use certain methods to teach
their children how to behave or to address a
behavior problem. What methods work best
for you?
 How does your child respond?
 How the parent encourages healthy  How do you challenge your child to try new
development things and do things on his/her own?
 What works in encouraging your child to be
more independent and competent?

Sharing Strategies and Resources to Strengthen Parenting

When parents have shared their concerns and perspectives on their children, there is an
opportunity to explore solutions and share resources. Educational materials about parenting and
child development may help parents assess their child’s development relative to others of the same
age, have realistic expectations for their child’s behavior, and explore ways to communicate those
expectations effectively. Helpful resources for enhancing knowledge of parenting and of child and
youth development may include information about:
Child and youth development

 What parents can expect and look for as the child or youth grows
 The ability of children or teens to understand and control their behavior at different ages
 Addressing developmental challenges such as inconsolable crying, bedwetting, eating or
sleeping problems, lying, school issues, problems with peers, and puberty
 How to keep children safe, including information on shaken baby syndrome, sudden infant
death syndrome, childproofing strategies, appropriate childcare, and safety in the community
Parenting
 How a parent can guide a child’s behavior and reinforce desired/appropriate behavior
 Ways that a parent can model desirable behavior
 Nonpunitive disciplinary techniques, such as setting limits, redirecting attention or behavior,
and logical consequences for actions

Parental Resilience
Parents who can cope with the stresses of everyday life, as well as an occasional
crisis, have resilience; they have the flexibility and inner strength necessary to
bounce back when things are not going well. Parents with resilience are generally able
to cope on their own, but they also know how to seek help in times of trouble. Their ability to
deal with life’s ups and downs serves as a model of coping behavior for their children.
Multiple life stressors, such as a family history of abuse or neglect, health problems, marital
conflict, and domestic or community violence—and financial stressors such as unemployment,
poverty, and homelessness—may reduce a parent’s capacity to cope effectively with the typical day-to-
day stresses of raising children.
All parents have inner strengths or resources that can serve as a foundation for building their
resilience. These may include faith, flexibility, humor, communication skills, problem-solving skills,
mutually supportive caring relationships, or the ability to identify and access outside resources
and services when needed. All of these strengthen the capacity to parent effectively. In addition,
community services that help families in crisis include mental health programs, substance abuse
treatment, family and marital counseling and special education and treatment programs for children
with special needs.

Parental Resilience

By partnering with parents, you can help them pinpoint the factors contributing to their stress, as
well as their successful coping strategies and their personal, family, and community resources.

 What the parent identifies as his or her  What helps you cope with everyday life?
coping strengths and resilience  Where do you draw your strength?
 The parent’s strengths in parenting  How does this help you in parenting?
 What are your dreams for yourself and
your family?
 What the parent identifies as  What kinds of frustrations do you deal with
everyday stressors during the day?
 Stressors precipitated by crises  Has something happened recently that has
made life more difficult?
 Impact of stress on parenting  How are you able to meet your children’s
 Impact of parenting on stress needs when you are dealing with stress?
 How are your children reacting to [crisis]?
 Whether there is marital stress or conflict  How does your spouse or partner support you
in times of stress?
 How does your spouse or partner help
with parenting?
 Needs that might be identified by a different  Are other family members experiencing stress
family member (not all family members may or concern?
identify the same needs)  How are they dealing with that?
 Has anyone in your family expressed concern
about drug or alcohol abuse?
 Short-term supports (respite care, help with  When you are under stress, what is most
a new baby, help during an illness) helpful to you?
 Long-term strategies (job training,  Are there places in the community where you
marital counseling) can find help?

Parental Resilience
Sharing Strategies and Resources to Promote Parental Resilience

When parents identify and communicate what worries them most, there is an opportunity to
offer some coping strategies and resources to begin to deal with the stress. Parents are not always
aware how their ability to cope with stress may impact their capacity to parent and their children’s
development. You can help parents recognize that they can model coping behaviors for their
children, since children observe and imitate parents in many ways. Empowering parents to seek help
and take steps to combat stress is part of building both resilience and hope.
Some needs are obvious to all family members and to providers. Other needs, such as marital
counseling or substance abuse treatment, may become apparent when one family member expresses
concern about another. Partnering with the family includes helping all family members translate
their concerns into specific needs that can be discussed and resolved. Many community resources
and services are available to help families cope. Faith communities, community colleges, self-help
groups, and social service agencies can help parents and caregivers develop problem-solving and
communication skills that strengthen their ability to deal effectively with crisis, so they can continue
to provide for their children.
Resources for building resilience may include information about:
Stress—causes and results

 How stress happens, including the “little things” that add up
 Ways to recognize stress and its triggers
 How stress affects health and coping
 How stress affects parenting, marriage, and family life
Finding ways to build resilience

 Stress management techniques, such as regular exercise, relaxation to music, and meditation
or prayer
 How to prevent stress by planning ahead, anticipating difficulties, and having resources
in place
 How to anticipate and minimize everyday stress
 How to handle major stressors, including accessing resources and supports from family,
friends, faith communities, and other community resources
 Family management techniques, such as effective ways of communicating needs and concerns
 Programs that offer family-to-family help or mentoring for personalized, intensive, sustained
services or support, especially in times of crisis
 Community supports such as mental health and counseling services, substance abuse
treatment, domestic violence programs, and self-help support groups

Social Connections
Parents with a social network of emotionally supportive friends, family, and

neighbors often find that it is easier to care for their children and themselves. Most
parents need people they can call on once in a while when they need a sympathetic listener,
advice, or concrete support. Conversely, research has shown that parents who are isolated, with
few social connections, are at higher risk for child abuse and neglect.
Some parents may need to develop self-confidence and social skills to expand their social
networks. Helping parents identify resources and/or providing opportunities for them to make
connections within their neighborhood or community may encourage isolated parents to reach out.
Often, opportunities exist within faith-based organizations, schools, hospitals, community centers,
and other places where support groups or social groups meet.

Social Connections

Identifying and building on parents’ current or potential social connections, skills, abilities, and
interests can be a great way to partner with them as they expand their social networks. For parents
who have difficulty establishing and maintaining social connections, your discussion may help them
identify what is holding them back.

 The parent’s social skills, willingness to  Who can you call for advice or just to talk?
join a group, and capacity to make and  How often do you see them?
keep friends  Would you be comfortable/willing to attend
a parent group (or other group) just to see if
you like it?
 The parent’s current social support system,  Do you have family members or friends
including family, friends, and membership nearby who help you out once in a while?
in any formal groups  Do you belong to a church, temple, mosque,
women’s group, men’s group?
 Do you have a child in the local school or
Head Start program?
 The parent’s desire for new friends and  What kinds of things do you like to do for
social connections fun or to relax?
 Would you be interested in meeting some
other moms and dads who also [have a new
baby, have a teenager, like to cook, sing in a
choir, etc.]?
 The parent’s potential strengths and  What are some benefits of getting out or
challenges in making social connections joining a group?
(include concerns such as parent’s  What kind of support would you need in
language, comfort level in groups, access order to be able to get out for an evening?
to babysitting and transportation, recent  How does your spouse or partner help out
arrival in community) so that you have some time with friends?
 Needs that might be met with better social  Would it help you to have more friends or
connections (for instance, respite care, a acquaintances to call about _______?
sympathetic listener, a role model)  Would it help you to know other moms and
dads who are dealing with _________?
 The parent’s interest in starting or  What would it take to get a group of parents
facilitating a community group together to ___________?

Social Connections
Sharing Strategies and Resources to Strengthen Social Connections

If parents express an interest in making social connections, you may want to offer suggestions,
information, or services. Sometimes parents will not identify a lack of social connections or
emotional support as an issue. Instead, they may be concerned about a child’s behavior problem or
their own depression. In addressing the parent’s concerns, you can also provide information about
how these needs might be met by connecting with others (e.g., a support group for parents with
similar issues). You can also provide general information on how expanding social connections can
reduce isolation and support parents.
Consider sharing the following:
Benefits of a broad social network

 Helps ease the burden of parenting
 Models positive social interactions for children and gives children access to other
supportive adults
 Provides support in crises
 Offers opportunities to help others
Ways to broaden a social network

 Overcome transportation, childcare, and other barriers—for instance, taking a bus or
carpool to a play group or joining a babysitting co-op to meet other parents and have
occasional childcare
 Access community resources, especially those with which the parent has some experience
(a church he or she attended, a Head Start program where the child is enrolled, a cultural
center that offers services in the parent’s native language)
 Join a parent’s group or play group in the neighborhood, or start a new group
And if a group does not already exist . . .

Some neighborhoods and communities provide ample opportunities for neighbors to come
together and friendships to develop. In other cases, agencies and organizations may welcome help
in starting groups that bring families together for mutual support. These groups might start as an
outgrowth of a widely recognized need in the community, such as new families that have just moved
to the area or concerned citizens working against community violence. Community involvement
is critical for these groups to be sustained over time. As a service provider, your role might be to
bring individuals together (including parents), providing a meeting place, or simply encouraging a
community leader to establish a group to meet a particular need.

Concrete Supports
for Parents
Many factors affect a family’s ability to care for their children. Families who can meet
their own basic needs for food, clothing, housing, and transportation—and who know how to
access essential services such as childcare, health care, and mental health services to address
family-specific needs—are better able to ensure the safety and well-being of their children. When
parents do not have steady financial resources, lack health insurance, or suffer a family crisis
such as a natural disaster or the incarceration of a parent, their ability to care for their children
may be at risk.
Poverty is associated with greater rates of child abuse and neglect, and families living in poverty
often benefit from specific concrete supports, such as help with housing, food, transportation,
childcare, clothing, furniture, and utilities. Partnering with parents to identify and access these
resources in the community may help prevent the stress that sometimes precipitates child
maltreatment. Providing concrete supports may also help prevent the unintended neglect that
sometimes occurs when parents are unable to provide for their children.

Concrete Supports
for Parents

Working with parents to identify their most critical basic needs and locate concrete supports
keeps the focus on family-driven solutions. As a partner with the family, your role may simply be
making referrals to the essential services, supports, and resources that parents say they need.
In order to explore… Ask the parent…

 The parent’s view of the most immediate  What do you need to [stay in your house,
need keep your job, pay your heating bill]?
 Steps the parent has taken to deal with the  How have you handled this?
problem  What kind of response have you gotten?
 Why is this working or not working?
 Ways the family handles other problems  What has worked well in the past?
 Current connections that might offer help for  Are there community groups or local services
the new problem that have been or might be able to offer
assistance?
 Do you belong to a faith community? Do you
have a relationship with a pediatrician? Is
your child enrolled at a local school?
 Other services and supports that would help  Have you thought about _________[local
the family program that provides housing, food, etc.]?
 Did you know that _______ provides [free
homework help, meals on weekends, low-
cost childcare]?
 The parent’s desire and capacity to receive  What kind of help do you need to get to these
new services, including completing appointments?
applications, keeping appointments, and  When would be a good time for me to give
committing to the solution process you a call to see how it’s going?

Concrete Supports
for Parents
Sharing Strategies and Resources to Strengthen Concrete Supports

Parents may not always know about community resources that can help meet their basic needs or
how to access essential services. Language or cultural barriers may make it difficult for some parents
to identify services and make the necessary contacts. Providing information and connections to
concrete supports can be a tremendous help to families under stress or in crisis. You might provide
contact information (a person’s name is most helpful) or help parents make the initial calls or
appointments, depending on what parents say they need.
When specific services do not exist in your community, you may be able to work with parents or
community leaders to help establish them. Parents can become powerful advocates for a particular
cause, such as low-cost, after-school programs or safe transportation for teens, if they know the
process for forming groups and creating services.
Your expertise may be most helpful in the following ways:
Linking families with services

 Parents may not be aware of services that could help. You can let them know about all
available resources, so they may select what is most appropriate for their needs.
 Parents are more likely to use culturally appropriate services. If you can link them with a
service provider who speaks their language or comes from a similar background, parents may
feel more comfortable and experience a greater benefit.
 Parents with many needs may be overwhelmed by the different requirements for accessing
various services. A “systems of care” approach may be most useful, in which different helping
systems work together to support the family.
Building community services

 Linking parents with community leaders and others to organize support, advocacy, and
consulting groups gives parents the opportunity to use their experience to help others.
 Parents who go public with their need or cause usually find that they are not alone. The fact
that a parent is willing to publicize a need or cause may mobilize the community.
 Parents who are new to advocacy may need help connecting with the media, businesses,
funding, and other parts of the community to have their needs heard and identify solutions.

Chapter 3:
Tip Sheets for Parents
Using Tip Sheets for Parents
This chapter includes five tip sheets to help service providers offer guidance and
suggestions to parents on specific issues that support the five protective factors.
These tip sheets, like the other resources in this packet, were created with input from experts
from national organizations that work to protect children and promote healthy families. The
information is easy to read and focuses on steps that parents and caregivers can take to care for
their children and strengthen their family.
The tip sheets provide a starting point for discussion and are most effective when shared with
parents in the context of a particular concern or question. Some ideas to share with parents in these
discussions include:
 It is normal for families to have this experience (e.g., for toddlers to have temper tantrums or
for teens to push limits).
 No parent can be an expert on everything.
 Everyone needs help at some point.
 There are many ways of dealing with this problem; as a parent, you need to choose what will
work best for your family.
 Parenting any child is challenging. Parenting a child with a disability can be even more
demanding and require extra supports.
 Help can be as close as a neighbor, but there are many other resources in your community.

Using Tip Sheets for Parents
The five tip sheets that follow address these topics:

 Bonding With Your Baby—Written to help new parents understand the importance of early
and secure attachment.
 Dealing With Temper Tantrums—Includes tips on how to prevent and handle toddler tantrums
while modeling calm behavior.
 Setting Rules With Teens—Designed to help parents of teenagers work with their teens to
set rules and consequences that promote responsible behavior.
 Finding Help When You Need It—Provides suggestions for identifying and connecting with
informal and formal helping networks.
 Raising Your Grandchildren—Written to help caregivers deal with some of the unique
challenges of parenting grandchildren and find concrete supports in the community.
This booklet also includes Spanish versions of these five tip sheets. These versions convey
similar messages to the English, but they have been adapted slightly for readability and cultural
appropriateness. On the Spanish side of “Raising Your Grandchildren,” for example, the focus is on
raising any relative’s child rather than specifically on grandchildren.
Additional resources are available through the national organizations listed on pages 61-64.
Tip sheets may be downloaded individually for distribution at:

www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/res_packet_2008/
More parenting tip sheets are available in the Parenting Resources section of the
Child Welfare Information Gateway website:
www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/promoting/parenting

Tips for Parents
Bonding With Your Baby
What’s Happening
Attachment is a deep, lasting
bond that develops between a
caregiver and child during the
baby’s first few years of life.
Loving attachment between a
baby and caregiver is critical
to the growth of a baby’s
body and mind. The brain’s What You Might Be Seeing
ability to regulate emotions Normal newborns:
and respond to stress can
be damaged if a baby does  Have brief periods of sleep, crying or fussing, and quiet alertness
not have a strong bond with many times each day
a parent. This can result in  Often cry for long periods for no apparent reason
lifelong problems. Babies  Love to be held and cuddled
who have this bond and feel  Respond to and imitate facial expressions
loved have a better chance  Love soothing voices and will respond with smiles and baby noises
to grow up to be adults who
 Grow and develop every day; they learn new skills quickly and can
trust others and know how to
outgrow difficult behaviors in a matter of weeks
return affection.
What You Can Do

No one knows your child like you do, so you are in the best position to recognize and fulfill your
child’s needs. Parents who give lots of loving care and attention to their babies help their babies
develop a strong attachment. Affection energizes your child to grow, learn, connect with others,
and enjoy life. Here are some ways to promote bonding:
 Respond when your baby cries. Try to understand what he or she is saying to you. You can’t
“spoil” a newborn with too much attention—babies need and benefit from a parent’s loving care
even when they seem inconsolable.
 Hold and touch your baby as much as possible. You can keep him close with baby slings, pouches,
or backpacks (for older babies).
 Use feeding time to look into your baby’s eyes, smile, and talk to your baby.
 Read, sing, and play peek-a-boo. Babies love to hear human voices and will try to imitate your
voice and the sounds you make.
 As your baby gets a little older, try simple games and toys. Once your baby can sit up, plan on
spending lots of time on the floor with toys, puzzles, and books.
The best gift you can give your baby is YOU. The love and attention you give your
baby now will stay with him or her forever and will help your baby grow into a
healthier and happier child and adult.
This tip sheet was created with input from experts in national organizations that work to protect children and promote healthy families.
To download this tip sheet or for more parenting tips, go to www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/promoting/parenting or call 800.394.3366.

Consejos para los padres
Usted y su bebé: El lazo que los une

Los bebés necesitan
más que alimento, calor
y protección. También
necesitan amor, atención y
cariño. Formar lazos ayuda
a su bebé a crecer fuerte
y sano, tanto física como
mentalmente.
Los recién nacidos: Formar lazos es bueno para el bebé…

 Duermen, lloran, se quejan y ven el mundo a su ¡y para usted!
alrededor muchas veces por día Cuando usted forma lazos con su bebé, sabrá
 Les encanta que los mimen y que les hablen mejor lo que el bebé quiere y necesita. Y su bebé se
 Lloran sin motivo aparente, a veces por sentirá amado y protegido.
mucho tiempo El lazo que usted forma ahora ayuda a que
 Les encantan las voces tranquilas y responden el cuerpo y el cerebro de su bebé crezcan
con sonrisas y gorgoritos de bebé feliz sanos. Esto afectará al bebé toda su vida: su
 Crecen y cambian todos los días temperamento, sus decisiones y las relaciones
futuras que pueda tener. Le ayudará a tener una
vida mejor.
La mejor manera de crear ese lazo es pasar tiempo con su bebé.

Estas son algunas cosas que usted puede hacer:
 Responda cuando llore el bebé. Los recién nacidos no se vuelven “consentidos” por exceso de atención.
 Tómelo en brazos, mímelo y toque a su bebé a menudo. Use un canguro o una mochila especial
para mantener a su bebé cerca.
 Léale, cántele y juegue a que se esconde y aparece. A su bebé le encanta oír su voz y tratará
de imitarlo.
 Sonríale y mírelo a los ojos.
 Juegue juegos sencillos a medida que su bebé crezca. Pase tiempo en el piso con juguetes,
rompecabezas y libros.
El mejor regalo que le puede hacer a su bebé es ¡USTED MISMO! El amor y la atención
que le dé ahora permanecerán con él para siempre. Le ayudarán a tener relaciones sanas
y a tomar buenas decisiones más adelante en la vida.
Esta hoja fue elaborada con la ayuda de expertos que trabajan en organizaciones nacionales para proteger y promover familias sanas. Para más
consejos para padres de familia, visite: www.childwelfare.gov/espanol o llame al 800.394.3366.
6 Promoviendo familias sanas en su comunidad www.childwelfare.gov/espanol

Tips for Parents
Dealing With Temper Tantrums
What’s Happening
Two- and three-year-olds have
many skills, but controlling
their tempers is not one of
them. Tantrums are common
at this age because toddlers
are becoming independent What You Might Be Seeing
and developing their own
wants, needs, and ideas. Normal toddlers:
However, they are not yet  Love to say “no!” “mine!” and “do it myself!”
able to express their wants  Test rules over and over to see how parents will react
and feelings with words. Take  Are not yet ready to share
comfort in the fact that most
 Need lots of fun activities, play times, and opportunities to explore
children outgrow tantrums
the world
by age 4.
 Respond well to a routine for sleeping and eating (a regular schedule)
 Like to imitate grownups and to “help” mom and dad
What You Can Do

It is often easier to prevent tantrums than to deal with them once they get going. Try these tips:
 Direct your child’s attention to something else. (“Wow, look at that fire engine!”)
 Give your child a choice in small matters. (“Do you want to eat peas or carrots?”)
 Stick to a daily routine that balances fun activities with enough rest and healthy food.
 Anticipate when your child will be disappointed. (“We are going to buy groceries for dinner. We
won’t be buying cookies, but you can help me pick out some fruit for later.”)
 Praise your child when he or she shows self-control and expresses feelings with words.
If you cannot prevent the tantrum, here are some tips for dealing with it:
 Say what you expect from your child and have confidence that your child will behave.
 Remain calm. You are a role model for your child.
 Holding your child during a tantrum may help a younger child feel more secure and calm down
more quickly.
 Take your child to a quiet place where he or she can calm down safely. Speak softly or play soft music.
 Some children throw tantrums to seek attention. Try ignoring the tantrum, but pay attention to
your child after he or she calms down.
 Resist overreacting to tantrums, and try to keep your sense of humor.
When your child is having a floor-thumping tantrum, the most important thing
you can do is remain calm and wait it out. Do not let your child’s behavior cause
you to lose control, too.

Los berrinches
Es común que los niños
pequeños hagan berrinches.
Entre los 2 y 4 años los
niños van desarrollando sus
propias ideas, necesidades
y deseos. Pero todavía no
las pueden expresar en
palabras. Esto puede ser
frustrante para su hijo…
¡y para usted!
Los niños pequeños:

 Les encanta decir: ¡No!... ¡Mío!... y ¡Yo solo!  No saben compartir todavía
 Ponen a prueba las reglas una y otra vez para  Se comportan mejor cuando tienen horarios
ver cómo reacciona usted fijos para comer y dormir
 Necesitan mucho tiempo para jugar, hacer cosas  Les gusta imitar a los “grandes” y “ayudar” a
divertidas y explorar el mundo mami y a papi
A veces los padres pueden prevenir los berrinches.

Estas son algunas cosas que usted puede hacer:
 Siga una rutina diaria de actividades divertidas, con suficiente descanso y comida sana.
 Anticipe lo que puede desilusionar a su hijo. (“Vamos a comprar comida para la cena. Esta vez no
vamos a comprar galletitas pero, ¿me ayudas a elegir la fruta para el postre?”)
 Ayude a su hijo a concentrarse en otra cosa. (“¡Mira ese camión de bomberos!”)
 Deje que su hijo tome decisiones sobre cosas pequeñas. (“¿Quieres comer chícharos o zanahorias?”)
 Felicite a su hijo cuando se controle a sí mismo y exprese sus sentimientos en palabras.
Pero a veces los berrinches ocurren de todos modos.
Si no puede prevenir un berrinche, pruebe estas sugerencias:
 Aunque un berrinche en un lugar público puede ser penoso, no pierda la calma.
 Algunos niños se calman más rápido si los ayuda a sentirse seguros y protegidos.
 Lleve a su hijo a un lugar tranquilo para que se calme. Háblele en voz baja o ponga música suave.
 Si su hijo está tratando de comunicarse con usted, trate de entender lo que quiere. Si sólo está
tratando de llamar la atención, no haga caso a su berrinche. Préstele atención después de que se
haya calmado.
 Trate de no perder el sentido del humor. ¡No haga berrinche usted!
Lo mejor que puede hacer es guardar la calma, incluso cuando el niño hace un berrinche
en pleno piso. No pierda la paciencia, trate de entender lo que el niño le quiere decir.
Recuerde que la mayoría de los niños dejan de hacer berrinches alrededor de los 4 años
de edad.
Promoviendo familias sanas en su comunidad www.childwelfare.gov/espanol

Tips for Parents
Setting Rules With Teens
What’s Happening
Teens may look (and think
that they are) full grown, but
their brains are still growing
and their hormones are
changing. This can affect:
 Decision-making—Teens
make mature decisions at
times, and childish ones
What You Might Be Seeing
at others. Normal teens:
 Risk-taking—Brain  Crave independence
immaturity can result in
 Question rules and authority
impulsive or risky behavior.
 Test limits
 Relationships—Teens
move a little further away  Can be forgetful
from family and a little  Have good days and bad days
closer to friends.  Drive you crazy and make you proud
What You Can Do

As a parent, you want to set rules to keep your teenagers safe and healthy and to teach them to
get along in the world. While it may be tempting to keep your teen in line by setting strict rules
and harsh consequences, your teen is likely to respond by becoming angry and more defiant.
Tips to keep in mind:
 Involve teenagers in setting the rules. They may be more likely to follow them.
 Talk about the reasons behind the rules and what you expect from them.
 Choose your battles, and try to provide choices in the matters that are less important. For
instance, you might let your daughter pick her own hairstyle if she comes home on time.
 Make sure your teens understand the consequences ahead of time. What will happen if they
break the rules?
 Set consequences that are related to the behavior, and be consistent in following through.
Ask teenagers to help decide what the consequences will be if they break the rules.
 Do not make consequences so harsh that you or your teen can’t follow through. Consider
taking away privileges, limiting time with friends, or assigning extra chores.
 Allow your teens to gradually earn more freedom.
 Get to know your teen’s friends and their parents, and let them know your rules and
expectations.
Cheer your teens on when they follow the rules! And make sure they know you
love and accept them, even when they’re not perfect.

Los adolescentes y las reglas

Los padres saben bien que
las reglas ayudan a mantener
a los adolescentes seguros y
sanos. Pero a menudo a los
adolescentes no les gustan
las reglas. Fijar reglas para los
adolescentes puede ser difícil,
sobretodo estando en un medio
cultural diferente. Una persona
cercana lo puede ayudar.
Los adolescentes normales: El cerebro del adolescente no está

 Quieren ser independientes completamente desarrollado.
 Cuestionan las reglas y la autoridad Los adolescentes pueden parecer adultos. Pueden pensar
que son adultos. Pero su cerebro todavía está creciendo
 Ponen a prueba los límites y sus hormonas siguen cambiando. Esto afecta la manera
 A veces se olvidan de las cosas en que los adolescentes:
 Tienen días buenos y días malos  Toman decisiones. A veces los adolescentes
 Vuelven locos a los padres toman decisiones inteligentes, pero a veces toman
decisiones infantiles.
 Toman riesgos. Actúan sin pensar o hacen
cosas peligrosas.
 Se relacionan con los demás. Los adolescentes se
pueden apartar de sus familias y acercarse más a sus
amistades, pero es importante que mantengan el
contacto con su cultura y sus familiares.
Las reglas ayudan a los adolescentes a ser responsables de su propia conducta.

Algunas sugerencias para establecer las reglas con su adolescente:
 Dígale porqué son necesarias las reglas y cuáles son sus expectativas.
 Deje que el adolescente le ayude a poner las reglas. Así será más probable que las respete.
 Adviértale que habrá consecuencias si no respeta las reglas: Menos tiempo con sus amigos, más
tareas y privilegios perdidos.
 Deje que el adolescente le ayude a decidir lo que pasará si no sigue las reglas.
 Si las consecuencias son demasiado severas, es posible que el adolescente no las pueda cumplir.
 Conozca a los amigos de su adolescente y a los padres.
 Elija sus batallas. Deje que el adolescente tome decisiones sobre algunas cosas.
 A medida que se gane su confianza, permita que su adolescente tenga mas libertad.
 Practique un deporte, escuche música o haga cosas divertidas con su adolescente cuando pueda.
Los adolescentes necesitan reglas y los padres deben ponerlas. Felicite a su

adolescente cuando cumpla las reglas, y esté seguro de que sienta amado, incluso
cuando no sea “perfecto.”

Tips for Parents
Finding Help When You Need It
What’s Happening
Being a parent is a 24-hour-
a-day job, and sometimes
it can feel overwhelming.
Extra challenges can add to a
parent’s stress. For instance:
 Having a new baby
 Having a child with a What You Might Be Feeling
disability
When life is stressful, parents sometimes feel:
 Feeling alone, or not having
friends or family nearby  Angry—at your spouse, your friends, or even your children
 Being a single parent or  Lonely—like you are the only person dealing with so many
having a partner who does problems
not support you  Depressed—sad and unable to face your problems
 Dealing with money  Overwhelmed—you don’t know where to begin or you feel like
troubles, problems with your giving up
job, or housing concerns
What You Can Do

Stay in contact with friends and family who support you and make you feel good about yourself.
Other parents can be a good source of support. If you think stress may be affecting the way you
treat your children, or if you just want some extra support, try the following:
 Talk to someone. Tell a friend, health-care provider, counselor, or a leader in your faith
community how you feel. Or, join a support group for parents.
 Get babysitting help when you need a break. Some parents trade babysitting with another
family, so each parent gets a break.
 Reach out to other parents. You may find parents with children the same ages as yours at a
local playground, your church, or your child’s daycare or school.
 Call a help line. Most States have help lines for parents. Childhelp® runs a national 24-hour
hotline (1.800.4.A.CHILD) for parents who need help or parenting advice.
 Talk to your child’s school. Teachers and school counselors often can point you to other
places that can help.
 Take a class for parents. You can always learn new skills to care for your children. Classes
for parents on discipline, school success, or child development can help you build on what
you already know about raising a happy, healthy child.
It is normal for parents to feel overwhelmed sometimes, but don’t let these
feelings affect how you treat your children. Help is just a phone call away! Call a
friend, family member, church, or social service agency to talk to someone.

Obtenga ayuda cuando la necesite

Cuando los padres se
sienten muy presionados
esto puede afectar su
relación con sus hijos. No
deje que el estrés afecte
su relación con sus seres
más queridos. Es una
buena señal que un padre
busque ayuda cuando la
necesita.
Ser padre puede ser abrumador, Si está muy estresado se puede sentir:
Y es aun más difícil si está enfrentando otros  Enojado con su pareja, sus amigos o hasta
desafíos al mismo tiempo, como por ejemplo: con sus hijos
 Cuidar a un bebé recién nacido o a un  Solo, como si fuera la única persona que tiene
niño enfermo que lidiar con tantos problemas
 Cambiarse de casa y no tener amigos o  Deprimido, triste o incapaz de enfrentar
parientes cerca sus problemas
 Adaptarse a una cultura diferente o aprender  Con deseos de darse por vencido, porque no
un idioma sabe qué hacer
 Ser madre soltera o padre soltero que cría a sus
hijos sin nadie quien le ayude
 Tener problemas con su trabajo, vivienda o dinero
No deje que el estrés afecte la manera en que trata a sus hijos.

Si siente necesidad de más apoyo, trate de:
 Reunirse con gente que lo haga sentirse mejor.
 Hablar con un familiar o con alguien de su iglesia.
 Pedir a sus padres o algún familiar que cuide a sus hijos cuando necesite un descanso.
 Ponerse en contacto con otros padres. Puede encontrar padres con hijos de la misma edad que
los suyos en el parque local, en la iglesia o en la guardería o escuela de su hijo.

 Hablar con el personal de la escuela de su hijo.
 Llamar a una línea de ayuda, como Childhelp®. En español o en inglés las
24 horas del día. 1.800.422.4453
Muchos padres a veces se sienten con muchas cosas encima. Pero no deje que sus
sentimientos afecten la manera en que trata a sus hijos. ¡Llame a alguien de confianza
para obtener ayuda o asesoramiento!

Tips for Parents
Raising Your Grandchildren
What’s Happening
No matter why or how they
came to live with you, your
grandchildren will benefit
from being in your home.
When children cannot be with
their parents, living with a
grandparent may provide: What You Might Be Seeing
 Fewer moves from place Despite these benefits, the children will face some
to place unique challenges:
 The comfort of a familiar
 They may feel insecure and unsure that you will take care of them.
language and culture
 They may act out or challenge you.
 A chance to stay with siblings
 They will miss their parents.
 More contact with their
parents, depending on  They may be anxious or depressed.
the situation  They may seem young or act too old for their ages.
What You Can Do

It will take time for your grandchildren to feel safe and secure in their new home with you.
You can encourage these good feelings in a number of ways:
 Set up a daily routine of mealtimes, bedtime, and other activities.
 Help your grandchildren feel “at home” by creating a space just for them.
 Talk to your grandchildren, and listen when they talk to you.
 Set up a few rules and explain your expectations. Then, enforce the rules consistently.
 Reward positive behavior. When children make mistakes, focus on teaching rather than punishing.
 Be as involved with their school as you can, and encourage your children to participate in
school activities.
This is a big job, and you may need help from your community. Here are some suggestions:
 Help with housing or other bills, clothing, or school supplies may be available specifically for
grandparents raising grandchildren in your community.
 Join a support group. Often there are local groups for grandparents raising grandchildren.
 Ask for help and referrals from a church leader, the counselor at your child’s school, or a social
services agency.
 If necessary, get professional help to address your grandchild’s special needs, such as medical
care, mental health care, or special education.
Parenting the second time around brings special challenges and special joys. Do
not hesitate to ask for help or seek services in your community for yourself and
your grandchildren.

Cómo criar al hijo de un pariente

Es muy importante que los
niños se sientan parte de
una familia que los quiere y
los respeta.
Su hogar puede ser el mejor lugar para Los niños extrañan a sus padres.
los hijos de un pariente. Los niños que no viven con sus padres tienen
Cuando un niño no puede estar con sus padres, el necesidades especiales. Pueden:
hogar de un pariente le puede dar:  Sentirse inseguros y no saber con certeza si
 El consuelo de estar con una persona que usted los va a cuidar
conoce, y que comparte su idioma y cultura  Portarse mal o desafiarlo
 La oportunidad de quedarse con sus hermanos  Estar preocupados o deprimidos
 Menos mudanzas de un lugar a otro  No comportarse de acuerdo con su edad
 A veces más contacto con sus padres
Usted puede ayudar a que el niño se sienta seguro y protegido en su hogar.

 Tenga un sitio especial sólo para él, para que se sienta en casa.
 Tenga una rutina diaria de comidas, actividades y horas de irse a la cama.
 Háblele y escúchelo cuando le habla.
 Ponga unas pocas reglas y explíquele lo que espera de él. Haga que se cumplan las reglas sin falta.
 Si el niño hace algo bueno, ¡dígaselo! Si comete un error, explíquele lo que debe hacer la próxima vez.
 Participe en su escuela y en sus actividades escolares.
Criar al hijo de un pariente no es fácil. Es posible que usted necesite ayuda.
Su comunidad puede tener recursos para ayudarle con:
 Comida, vivienda y algunas de sus cuentas
 Ropa, útiles escolares y enseñanza individual
 Apoyo y asesoramiento
 Visitas al médico, atención de la salud mental o educación especial
Tenga paciencia. Tomará tiempo para que el niño se sienta protegido y seguro con usted.
Si usted necesita apoyo, hable con el consejero de la escuela o con un trabajador social. Si
usted necesita apoyo adicional solicítelo en su iglesia o en una agencia comunitaria.

Chapter 4:
Engaging Your Community
Tools for Engaging
Your Community
When families are supported, children are less likely to be at risk for child
maltreatment and more likely to grow up happy and healthy. This chapter offers
suggestions for engaging your community in supporting, strengthening, and promoting healthy
families through the five protective factors. Working with others provides greater opportunities
to identify strategies for ensuring that all parents in your community have the skills, supports,
and resources they need to care for their children.
Service providers and others committed to improving the well-being of children and youth can
take part in informing and motivating other concerned individuals, community groups, religious
institutions, schools and universities, and the local media to help.
In this chapter, you will find tools to help you share your message about the importance of
positive parenting and ways to support families in your community through:
 Talking points
 Community strategies
 Pitching story ideas to the media
More information about engaging your community is available in the Public Awareness &
Creating Supportive Communities section of the Child Welfare Information Gateway website:
www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/communities

Talking Points
Supporting families by ensuring parents have the knowledge, skills, and

resources they need is an effective way to protect children from the risk of child
abuse and neglect. The following talking points provide ideas for how to share this important
message in your community.
These talking points can be used with community groups or the media. Each audience will have
its own interests, questions, and needs, so tailor your presentation to fit the unique circumstances.
Engage your audience by inviting them to contribute their own ideas about how to support families,
and close your presentation by involving them in a call to action.
What do we know about protecting children?

 When a parent treats a child with respect, love, and understanding, it affects the child for
a lifetime—making it easier to develop and keep friendships, succeed in school and work,
sustain a happy marriage, and parent effectively.
 Unfortunately, many factors can limit parents’ ability to protect and nurture their children.
These can put families at risk for abuse and neglect.
 Certain factors have been shown to serve as buffers against these risks, enhancing parents’ coping
skills and helping them to raise happy, healthy children, even under stress.
 On average, children raised in households headed by two parents in a healthy marriage fare
better than children who grow up in other family structures.
What are the protective factors that promote healthy families?

The best thing our community can do to protect children is to support healthy families by
promoting the following five protective factors:
Nurturing and attachment

Parents and caregivers who bond with and respond to the basic needs of their babies and young
children lay the foundation for a positive and loving relationship. They also stimulate the growth of
their child’s brain and help their child learn how to interact in positive ways with others.
Ways we can promote parental nurturing and attachment:

 Sponsor a workshop on playing with infants and young children.
 Provide quiet, private places for mothers to breastfeed and tend to their babies’ needs.
 Organize a weekend play group for dads.
 Recognize local businesses with family-friendly policies, such as flexible work schedules and
maternity/paternity leave, that give parents time to bond with their children.

Talking Points
Knowledge of parenting and of child and youth development

Helping parents learn about normal infant, childhood, and teen development will help them
understand what to anticipate as their children grow and develop, and what types of support and
discipline may work best at each stage.
Ways we can enhance knowledge of parenting and of child and youth development:
 Suggest parents speak to their children's doctor about any concerns, frustrations, or questions
regarding behavior or development.
 Ask your local school district or faith community to sponsor classes and support programs for
new parents.
 Organize a parenting club to discuss parenting books, websites, and other resources.
 Educate childcare providers and teachers about key aspects of child development and the
relationship between effective parenting and brain development.
Parental resilience
Parenting can be stressful, especially when parents are also managing work demands or
unemployment, financial worries, illness, or difficulties with a spouse or others. Parents who have
support and skills for managing stress will be better able to cope with day-to-day challenges.
Ways we can strengthen parental resilience:
 Organize a neighborhood group that will rotate cooking a meal or performing light
housework for new parents and other families under stress.

 Start a neighborhood “work out” group, where families can exercise and have fun together.
 Teach a communication class for couples.
 Provide brochures and other resources for teachers and childcare providers to share with parents
who are under significant stress.
Social connections
For most of us, family, friends, and neighbors form a network that provides social interaction,
recreation, advice, and help. When parents have the opportunity to interact with, learn from, and
seek the support of other adults, their children benefit.
Ways we can build social connections in our community:

 Sponsor multigenerational activities like picnics and street fairs that reflect the community’s
culture through music, food, and games. Involve parents in organizing these events.
 Help recruit volunteers for mentoring programs such as Big Brothers Big Sisters, Befriend-a-
Child, or Family to Family.
 Provide venues for young families to meet and socialize, such as libraries, parks, and preschools.

Talking Points
Concrete supports for parents

When parents are not employed or face other challenges, they may need assistance in order to
provide adequate food, clothing, housing, and medical care for their children. These supports may
reduce the stress parents feel in difficult circumstances, giving them more energy to nurture and
support their children.
Ways we can promote concrete supports:
 Provide information on how to access housing, health care, or employment assistance.
 Educate candidates and elected officials about issues in your community and the need for
services and programs that support healthy and safe children and families.
 Encourage service providers to collaborate, leverage funding, and share resources to address
specific needs.
Call to action: How can we work together to strengthen our community?

Anything you do to support kids and parents in your family and community helps reduce
the likelihood of child abuse and neglect. This month and throughout the year, let’s focus our
attention on prevention efforts that support parents and create healthier communities for children.
 Which of the ideas we have talked about make sense for you?
 What can our community do? How can you help make that happen?

Community Strategies
Organizations, groups, and tribal communities all can help raise awareness,
strengthen families, and protect children. The following ideas offer some starting points
for planning local community awareness activities. While some of these are specific to Child
Abuse Prevention Month, most can be used at any time of year.
Involve local faith communities

Faith communities are an important source of social support and can often connect members
in need with concrete supports in the community. In 2007, local children’s councils in several Iowa
counties sent information packets, bulletin inserts, and table tents to area churches to help promote
Child Abuse Prevention Month awareness efforts. Learn more on the Prevent Child Abuse Iowa website:
www.pcaiowa.org/public_awareness.html
Other ideas for faith communities include:

 Organize a parenting fair to educate parents about support services in the community.
 Hold a Family Fun Day or Parent's Night Out.
 Host a parent education or self-help group.
 Provide a series of workshops on each of the protective factors and how they promote
healthy families.
 Establish a resource library focusing on parenting issues.
 Create bulletin or newsletter inserts to highlight the five protective factors and suggest how
members can promote them.
Involve men and fathers

Encourage fathers to be involved in their children’s care right from the start.
Here are some ideas:
 Encourage veteran dads to teach expectant fathers about newborns and how to nurture and care
for their babies. For information about this type of program, visit Boot Camps for New Dads:
www.bcnd.org
 Produce public service television and radio ads featuring fathers. The Alaska Children’s Trust
produced public service announcements with the tag line, “Listen, talk, play, and be a brain
builder.” Watch or listen to the ads: www.hss.state.ak.us/ocs/ChildrensTrust
Involve local schools

When parents become involved with their child’s school, they develop social connections and
learn more about their child’s growth and development. Join schools in partnering with parents to
foster protective factors that keep children safe and help them learn. For example:
 Hold a poster and essay contest for children in local schools. Find this and many other great
ideas on the Prevent Child Abuse Illinois calendar of statewide events:
www.preventchildabuseillinois.org/code/capm-info.html
 Sponsor an event with your school’s parent-teacher group to introduce the protective factors
and promote strengthening families.

Community Strategies
Honor your community’s culture

Additional Ideas
Parenting norms vary from culture to culture, so Many communities use variations of the
be sure your techniques for supporting families are following popular activities to recognize Child
relevant. For example: Abuse Prevention Month and focus attention on
 Offer classes that introduce traditional Native supporting families to prevent the risk of abuse.
American child-rearing practices to help young Make one of these ideas your own:
Native American parents raise their children  Historically, the blue ribbon has been an
in a positive and culturally knowledgeable important symbol in the effort to prevent
manner. For information about the Positive child abuse and neglect. Many communities
Indian Parenting Program, visit the NICWA host blue ribbon campaigns during Child
website: www.nicwa.org/resources/catalog/ Abuse Prevention Month, encouraging
curriculum community members to wear the ribbon and
 Coordinate ethnic street fairs to offer families recognizing “blue ribbon neighborhoods,”
a way to enjoy their cultural heritage in the “blue ribbon kids,” or “blue ribbon families”
company of others. Community organizations for extraordinary efforts.
can provide prevention information and
 Host an awards breakfast or luncheon to
educational materials at booths and through
recognize key individuals and organizations
family-friendly activities like parent-child art
working to strengthen families and prevent
workshops and puppet shows.
the risk of child abuse. Give awards in five
categories, one for each protective factor.
Involve community agencies  Disseminate calendars of daily family
Many agencies have missions that are aligned strengthening activities. Use local children’s
with preventing child abuse and neglect, and even artwork to illustrate them. For an example, see:
address some of the same family-strengthening www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/
protective factors. For example: promoting/parenting/calendar.cfm
 Provide parenting workshops and one-on-one  Sponsor a Kids’ Day at the Zoo. Make
mentoring to parents with disabilities. Abused posters or hand out brochures that show
Deaf Women’s Advocacy Services in Seattle, how animal families nurture and protect
Washington, offers a parenting program designed their babies and how human families do the
to increase deaf parents’ responsive social same or similar things.
support network: www.adwas.org/about/  Advertise the opportunity to make a
programs.html#Positive_Parenting contribution to the State trust fund to honor
a father, mother, or someone else special to
the donor.
Celebrate parent leaders in your
community  Offer a conference on positive parenting and
strengthening families. Have five workshop
National Parent Leadership Month provides
“tracks,” one for each protective factor.
the opportunity for parents, agencies, and
communities to come together to celebrate and  Develop a community campaign to promote
honor the work of exemplary parent leaders in positive parenting. Consider a “Promises for
November. A National Parent Leadership Month Parents” campaign, like the one promoted by
toolkit is available from Parents Anonymous® Prevent Child Abuse New York:
to help communities develop activities and http://preventchildabuseny.org/pdf/
events to celebrate parents who provide capmonth06.pdf
leadership in promoting healthy families: www.
parentsanonymous.org/pahtml/NPLMonth.html

Pitching Story Ideas to the Media
Media professionals want to know that their stories will have an impact on the entire
community. When the topic of child abuse and neglect arises, their first question is often, “How many
children have been abused in this State?” or “How many children have died this year from abuse?”
While these tragic numbers may garner momentary attention, they provide limited insight into
the multiple dimensions of child maltreatment. They reveal little about the interactions among
individuals, families, communities, and society that lead to such incidents. This complexity confounds
our search for a simple answer to the question, “Why does child maltreatment occur?”
You can help the media understand that this same complexity offers great hope, because a
problem with so many contributing factors offers multiple opportunities for intervention and change.
The power of the story is in the healing that occurs when a community joins together, not only
to identify and reduce known risk factors, but also to enhance protective factors that strengthen
families, reduce the incidence of abuse and neglect, and protect children from its negative effects.
The following are some tips for successful media pitches.
Anchor your story to a timely, local event

When you talk to the media about supporting parents and families to reduce the risk of child
abuse and neglect, think about angles that make the story current and interesting to a local
audience. This does not have to be a recent child tragedy; it could be a back-to-school story about
how one elementary school supports neighborhood families, for example.
Have a clear message

Communicate the idea that the five protective factors have been shown through research to
promote healthy families and reduce the likelihood of child abuse and neglect.
Other sample “bottom line” messages:

 Supporting families and ensuring that parents have the knowledge, skills, and resources they
need are effective ways to protect children from the risk of child abuse and neglect.
 Children do well when their parents do well. And parents do best when they live in
communities that actively support families. We can all play a positive part.
Focus on the five protective factors

Focus on successful ways your community is:
 Promoting nurturing and parent-child attachment
 Enhancing knowledge of parenting and of child and youth development
 Strengthening parental resilience to stress
 Building social connections
 Identifying concrete supports for parents

Pitching Story Ideas to the Media
Keep your message simple and direct. You might even pick just one protective factor and describe
how it helps keep children safe and communities healthy by making families strong. For example:
 Suggest a story on parental resilience, focusing on a young family that had to relocate after Hurricane
Katrina. Have the parents meet the reporter at a healthy marriage class that helped them support one
another as they coped with their move. Prepare them to talk about how improving their marriage
helped them provide a less stressful environment for their children during a difficult time.
 Connect a reporter with an urban tribal organization that promotes social connections by
giving lessons in Native American art and dance to children, while giving their parents a
chance to meet members of their own and other tribes in an informal social setting.
Celebrate community heroes

Suggest interviewees who can demonstrate the success of family strengthening programs and
protective factors through their own lives. Some suggestions:
 A young immigrant mother who participated in a visiting nurse program and learned
new ways to nurture, connect with, and care for her baby from a provider who spoke her
native language.
 An instructor who promotes resilience by combining a couples yoga class with tips on
maintaining a healthy marriage.
 A doctor who created a package of parenting tips appropriate for different developmental stages.
 A church that offers Wednesday night social activities for families.
 A community organization that provides concrete supports by helping residents find safe,
affordable housing to prevent homelessness and keep families together.
Always conclude media pitches with suggestions for where to go for more information or tips for
how community members can participate in similar efforts.
Resources
For more on shaping a media message about strengthening families, see “Reframing Child
Abuse and Neglect: A Practical Tool Kit,” produced by Prevent Child Abuse America for the
FRIENDS National Resource Center for Community-Based Child Abuse Prevention:
www.friendsnrc.org/reframing/Index1.htm
For more on shaping messages to the media about parent leaders and strengthening families,
see The Parent Networker®, produced by Parents Anonymous® Inc. This publication includes
parents’ stories and issues of importance to families:
www.parentsanonymous.org/pahtml/pubPubs.html

Chapter 5:
When Children Are at Risk
Understanding Child
Abuse and Neglect
When children are nurtured, they can grow up to be happy and healthy adults.
But when they lack an attachment to a caring adult, receive inconsistent nurturing, or experience
harsh discipline, the long-lasting consequences can affect their health, well-being, and
relationships with others.
This section provides information to help service providers and others concerned about the
health and well-being of children to understand child abuse and neglect, its effects, and what each of
us can do to address it when it occurs.
What Is Child Abuse and Neglect?

Child abuse and neglect often take place in the home and come from a person the child knows
well—a parent, relative, babysitter, or friend of the family. There are four major types of child
maltreatment. Although any of the forms may be found separately, they often occur together.
Each State is responsible for establishing its own definitions of child abuse and neglect that meet
Federal minimum standards. Most include the following:
 Neglect is failure to provide for a child’s basic needs.
 Physical abuse is physical injury as a result of hitting, kicking, shaking, burning, or
otherwise harming a child.
 Sexual abuse is any situation where a child is used for sexual gratification. This may include
indecent exposure, fondling, rape, or commercial exploitation through prostitution or the
production of pornographic materials.
 Emotional abuse is any pattern of behavior that impairs a child’s emotional development or
sense of self-worth, including constant criticism, threats, and rejection.
Find more information on the Child Welfare Information Gateway website:
www.childwelfare.gov/can/defining/ and www.childwelfare.gov/can/types/

Understanding Child
Abuse and Neglect
Why Does Child Abuse Occur?

Child abuse and neglect affect children of every age, race, and income level. However, research
has identified many factors relating to the child, family, community, and society that are associated
with an increased risk of child abuse and neglect. Studies have also shown that when multiple risk
factors are present, the risk is greater.
Young mothers and fathers unprepared for the responsibilities of raising a child; overwhelmed
single parents with little support; and families placed under stress by poverty, divorce, or a child’s
disability are all at greater risk. Some families are stressed by worries about employment, health,
substance abuse, mental health, domestic violence, or other problems, or are simply unaware of
how to care for their children’s basic needs.
These circumstances, combined with the inherent challenges of raising children, can result in
otherwise well-intentioned parents causing their children harm or neglecting their needs.
How Many Children Are Abused and Neglected in the United States?
In 2005, about 3.3 million reports were made to child protective services about the safety and
well-being of approximately 6 million children. As a result of these reports, about 899,000 children
were found to be victims of child abuse or neglect. Of these, more than 60 percent were neglected,
more than 15 percent were physically abused, less than 10 percent were sexually abused, and less
than 10 percent were emotionally maltreated.
Child deaths are the most tragic results of maltreatment. In 2005, an estimated 1,460 children
died due to abuse or neglect. More than 40 percent of these deaths were attributed to neglect.
What Are the Consequences?

The impact of child maltreatment can be profound. Research shows that child maltreatment
is associated with adverse health and mental health outcomes in children and families, and those
negative effects can last a lifetime. The long-term effects can be physical, psychological, or behavioral.
A history of child abuse or neglect has been associated with increased risk of:
 Mental illness
 Substance abuse
 Developmental disabilities and learning problems
 Social problems with other children and with adults
 Teen pregnancy
 Lack of success in school
 Alcohol and other drug use
 Domestic violence

Understanding Child
Abuse and Neglect
In addition to the impact on the child and family, child abuse and neglect affect various systems—
including medical and mental health, law enforcement, judicial, public social services, and nonprofit
agencies—as they respond to the incident and support the victim. One analysis of the immediate and
long-term economic impact of child abuse and neglect suggests that child maltreatment costs the
nation as much as $258 million each day, or approximately $94 billion each year.
What Are the Warning Signs?

The first step in helping or getting help for an abused or neglected child is to identify the signs
and symptoms of abuse.
The table below lists some symptoms of the four major types of child maltreatment. The presence
of a single sign does not prove child abuse is occurring in a family; however, when these signs appear
repeatedly or in combination you should consider the possibility of maltreatment.
Maltreatment
Symptoms
Type
Neglect  Signs of malnutrition
 Poor hygiene
 Unattended physical or medical problems
Physical abuse  Unexplained bruises, burns, or welts
 Child appears frightened of a parent or caregiver
Sexual abuse  Pain, bleeding, redness, or swelling in anal or genital area
 Age-inappropriate sexual play with toys, self, or others
 Age-inappropriate knowledge of sex
Emotional abuse  Extremes in behavior, ranging from overly aggressive to overly passive
 Delayed physical, emotional, or intellectual development
On the Child Welfare Information Gateway Website

For more information about:
 Why child abuse occurs: www.childwelfare.gov/can/factors
 How many children are abused: www.childwelfare.gov/can/prevalence/
 Consequences of child abuse and neglect: www.childwelfare.gov/can/impact/
 Warning signs: www.childwelfare.gov/can/identifying/

Reporting Child Maltreatment
Anyone can and should report suspected child abuse or neglect. If you think a child
is being mistreated, take immediate action.
Most States have a toll-free number for reporting. You can also call the Childhelp® National
Child Abuse Hotline at 1.800.4.A.CHILD (1.800.422.4453). When you call to make a report, you
will be asked for specific information, such as:
 The child’s name and location
 The name and relationship (if known) of the person you believe is abusing the child
 What you have seen or heard regarding the abuse or neglect
 The names of any other people who might know about the abuse
 Your name and phone number (voluntary)
We can all help prevent child abuse by recognizing the risk factors, protecting children who are at
risk, and supporting families who are experiencing stressors. Reporting the situation may protect the
child and get additional help for the family. Some States provide training for professionals who are
required by law to report child abuse and neglect (e.g., childcare providers, teachers, doctors, clergy)
and workshops on responding to signs of stress in families.
Many nonprofit, public, education, social service, and childcare organizations in your
community play a role in providing supports and services to children, youth, and families.
Parenting education, crisis/respite care, transitional housing, and literacy programs, as well as
family resource centers, teen parent support groups, fatherhood groups, and marriage education
classes, support families in important ways.
Find more information about reporting child abuse and neglect on the Child Welfare
Information Gateway website: www.childwelfare.gov/responding/

National Organizations That Protect
Children and Promote Healthy Families
Many organizations across the country work to improve the quality of life for children, youth, and
families. The following is an alphabetical list of those that supported the creation of this packet by
offering their resources and input. They are varied in the services they offer and the professionals they
support, but all are committed to protecting children and promoting healthy families. Many of these
organizations have member agencies and can link you to local affiliates in your State or community. All
offer additional information on preventing child abuse and neglect and supporting families.
American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) Annie E. Casey Foundation

AAP is committed to the attainment of optimal The Annie E. Casey Foundation
physical, mental, and social health and well-being works to build better
for all infants, children, adolescents, and young futures for disadvantaged The Annie E. Casey Foundation
adults. The Section on Child Abuse and Neglect children and their families
provides an educational forum for the discussion in the United States. The
of problems and treatments relating to child abuse Foundation’s mission is to foster public policies,
and neglect and its prevention. human service reforms, and community supports
847.434.4000 that more effectively meet the needs of today’s
www.aap.org vulnerable children and families.
410.547.6600
American Humane Association (AHA) www.aecf.org
AHA’s mission is preventing
cruelty, abuse, neglect, and Center for the Study of Social Policy
exploitation of children and The mission of the Center for the
animals. AHA information Study of Social Policy is to develop
assists professionals and public policies and practices that
citizens in making informed decisions about how to strengthen families and communities
help children and families in crisis. The association to produce equal opportunities and a
also develops resources and programs that help better future for all children.
child welfare systems deliver quality services, and 202.371.1565
communities and citizens prevent child abuse. www.cssp.org
303.792.9900
www.americanhumane.org Chapin Hall Center for Children at the
University of Chicago
American Professional Society on the Abuse
Chapin Hall is a policy
of Children (APSAC) research center dedicated
APSAC seeks to improve the quality APSAC to bringing rigorous
of practice provided by professionals research and innovative ideas to policymakers,
who work in child abuse and neglect service providers, and funders working to
by providing professional education improve the well-being of children. Its work
and promoting research and practice provides a source of knowledge about the needs
guidelines in child maltreatment. of children and the service systems designed to
877.402.7722 meet those needs.
www.apsac.org 773.753.5900
www.chapinhall.org

Childhelp® Doris Duke Charitable Foundation
In addition The Foundation’s child abuse prevention program
to a 24-hour supports a small number of national organizations
National Child and research initiatives that advance efforts to prevent
Abuse Hotline (1.800.4.A.CHILD), Childhelp the maltreatment of young children by providing
directly serves abused children through residential services, supports, and information to families.
treatment facilities, child advocacy centers, group 212.974.7000
homes, foster care, preschool programs, child abuse www.ddcf.org
prevention programs, and community outreach.
480.922.8212 FRIENDS National Resource Center for
www.childhelp.org
Community-Based Child Abuse Prevention
Child Welfare Information Gateway FRIENDS (Family Resource,
Information, Education and Network
Child Welfare Development Services) is a service of
Information Gateway, the Children’s Bureau, Office on Child
a service of the Abuse and Neglect. FRIENDS provides
Children’s Bureau, technical assistance to Federal
promotes the safety, permanency, and well-being of grantee agencies implementing the Community-
children and families by connecting child welfare, Based Grants for the Prevention of Child Abuse and
adoption, and related professionals, as well as Neglect, authorized by Title II of the Child Abuse
concerned citizens, to timely, essential information. Prevention and Treatment Act under the Keeping
800.394.3366 Children and Families Safe Act of 2003. The purpose
www.childwelfare.gov of FRIENDS’ work is to build the capacity of States
and communities to prevent child abuse and neglect
Child Welfare League of America (CWLA) and strengthen and support families.
CWLA is an association of 919.490.5577 x222
more than 800 public and www.friendsnrc.org
private nonprofit agencies
that assist over 3.5 million National Alliance of Children’s Trust and
abused and neglected children and their families Prevention Funds
each year with a wide range of services.
703.412.2400
www.cwla.org
The mission of the Alliance is to build and maintain

Circle of Parents®
a system of services, laws, practices, and attitudes
Circle of Parents, a that strengthen families and prevent child abuse
national network and neglect, achieved by assisting Children’s Trust
of parents and and Prevention Funds at State and national levels.
statewide and regional 206.526.1221
organizations, works www.ctfalliance.org
to prevent child abuse and neglect, strengthen
families, and promote parent leadership through
mutual self-help parent support groups and
children’s programs.
312.334.6837
www.circleofparents.org

National Association of Children’s Hospitals National Children’s Alliance (NCA)
& Related Institutions (NACHRI) NCA is a nonprofit organization
NACHRI promotes the health and whose mission is to provide
well-being of all children and their training, technical assistance,
families through support of children’s and networking opportunities
hospitals and health systems that are to communities seeking to plan,
committed to excellence in providing health care establish, and improve Children’s
to children. Advocacy Centers.
703.684.1355 800.239.9950 or 202.548.0090
www.childrenshospitals.net www.nca-online.org
National Association for the Education of National Exchange Club (NEC) Child Abuse
Young Children (NAEYC) Prevention Services
NAEYC exists for the purpose of leading and The NEC Foundation is committed to making a
consolidating the efforts of individuals and groups difference in the lives of children, families, and
working to achieve healthy development and communities through its national project, the
constructive education for all young children. prevention of child abuse. The NEC Foundation
800.424.2460 coordinates a nationwide network of nearly 100
www.naeyc.org Exchange Club Child Abuse Prevention Centers
that utilize the parent aide program and provide
support to families at risk for abuse.
National Center for Children in Poverty
800.924.2643 or 419.535.3232
(NCCP) www.preventchildabuse.com
NCCP uses research to inform policy and practice
with the goal of promoting the economic security, National Family Preservation Network (NFPN)
health, and well-being of America’s low-income NFPN provides training, tools, and
families and children. resources to assist policymakers
646.284.9600 and practitioners to build on a
www.nccp.org family’s strengths and to preserve
family bonds so children can be protected and
National Center on Shaken Baby Syndrome nurtured at home.
(NCSBS) 888.498.9047
www.nfpn.org
NCSBS prevents Shaken
Baby Syndrome through
the development and implementation of education, National Healthy Marriage Resource Center
programs, public policy, and research to establish (NHMRC)
networks for, support, and train families, NHMRC’s mission is to help
caregivers, and professionals. individuals and couples who choose
888.273.0071 or 801.627.3399 marriage for themselves gain the
www.dontshake.org knowledge and skills necessary to
national
healthy marriage
resource center
build and sustain a healthy marriage.

866.916.4672
www.healthymarriageinfo.org

National Indian Child Welfare Association Parents Anonymous® Inc.
(NICWA) Parents Anonymous is a
NICWA is a membership organization community of parents,
of tribes, individuals, and private organizations, and volunteers
organizations that work to promote committed to strengthening
Indian child welfare and address child abuse and families and building strong
neglect through training, research, public policy, communities, achieving meaningful parent
and grassroots community development. leadership and shared leadership, and leading
503.222.4044 the field of child abuse and neglect prevention.
www.nicwa.org 909.621.6184
www.parentsanonymous.org
National Respite Coalition
Prevent Child Abuse America
The mission of the National
Respite Coalition is to secure (PCA America)
quality, accessible, planned, and crisis respite PCA America provides
services for all families and caregivers in need of leadership to promote
such services in order to strengthen and stabilize and implement
families and enhance child and adult safety. national and local prevention efforts.
703.256.9578
312.663.3520
www.archrespite.org/NRC.htm
www.preventchildabuse.org
National Responsible Fatherhood

Search Institute
Clearinghouse (NRFC)
Search Institute conducts research to identify
The NRFC serves as a central source what children and adolescents need to become
for professionals and the public to
caring, healthy, and responsible adults and
learn more about the importance
provides resources to apply this knowledge
of responsible fatherhood and
and to motivate and equip others in ensuring
fatherhood issues.
877.432.3411 young people are valued and thrive.
www.fatherhood.gov 800.888.7828
www.search-institute.org
Nurse-Family Partnership
ZERO TO THREE
The Nurse-Family
Partnership National ZERO TO THREE disseminates key
Office supports developmental information, trains providers,
communities in promotes model approaches and standards
implementing a cost-effective, evidence-based of practice, and works to increase public
nurse home visitation program to improve awareness about the significance of the first
pregnancy outcomes, child health and three years of life.
development, and self sufficiency for eligible,
202.638.1144
first-time parents—benefiting
www.zerotothree.org
multiple generations.
866.864.5226
www.nursefamilypartnership.org
More information on national organizations that protect children and promote healthy
families is available on the Child Welfare Information Gateway website at:
www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/overview/relatedorgs.cfm

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
Administration for Children and Families
Administration on Children, Youth and Families
Children’s Bureau
www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb
A Service of the Children’s Bureau/ACYF

1250 Maryland Avenue, SW Eighth Floor Washington, DC 20024
703.385.7565 or 800.394.3366 Email: [email protected]
www.childwelfare.gov
FRIENDS National Resource Center for Community-Based Child Abuse Prevention

800 Eastowne Drive, Suite 105 Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.490.5577
www.friendsnrc.org
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Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community

2008 Resource Packet

Protecting Children • Promoting Healthy Families • Preserving Communities

Susan Orr, Ph.D.

Chapter 1: Overview ....................................................................................................................5

About This Packet....................................................................................................................... 7

Protective Factors for Promoting Healthy Families ................................................................... 9

Partnering With Parents and Caregivers ..................................................................................11

Chapter 2: The Five Protective Factors.................................................................................13

Promoting the Five Protective Factors ......................................................................................15

Nurturing and Attachment........................................................................................................16

Knowledge of Parenting and of Child and Youth Development ..............................................19

Parental Resilience ................................................................................................................... 22

Concrete Supports for Parents................................................................................................. 28

Chapter 3: Tip Sheets for Parents .......................................................................................... 31

Using Tip Sheets for Parents .....................................................................................................33

Bonding With Your Baby...........................................................................................................35

Usted y su bebé: El lazo que los une........................................................................................ 36

Dealing With Temper Tantrums................................................................................................37

Los berrinches .......................................................................................................................... 38

Setting Rules With Teens...........................................................................................................39

Los adolescentes y las reglas .................................................................................................... 40

Finding Help When You Need It ...............................................................................................41

Obtenga ayuda cuando la necesite ......................................................................................... 42

Raising Your Grandchildren..................................................................................................... 43

Cómo criar al hijo de un pariente............................................................................................ 44

Chapter 4: Engaging Your Community ................................................................................ 45

Tools for Engaging Your Community........................................................................................47

Pitching Story Ideas to the Media .............................................................................................53

Chapter 5: When Children Are at Risk ................................................................................. 55

Understanding Child Abuse and Neglect..................................................................................57

Reporting Child Maltreatment ................................................................................................. 60

National Organizations That Protect Children and Promote Healthy Families....... 61

Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community www.childwelfare.gov/preventing 

About This Packet

Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community www.childwelfare.gov/preventing 

Using the Packet

The packet is organized into five chapters:

On the Child Welfare Information Gateway Website

Abuse Prevention Month in local communities: www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/

 Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community www.childwelfare.gov/preventing

Why Focus on Promoting Protective Factors?

Which Protective Factors Are Most Important?

Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community www.childwelfare.gov/preventing 

10 Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community www.childwelfare.gov/preventing

The Meaning of Partnership

Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community www.childwelfare.gov/preventing 11

Building Successful Partnerships

12 Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community www.childwelfare.gov/preventing

The five protective factors covered in this chapter are:

visit the Child Welfare Information Gateway webpage on Protective Factors:

Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community www.childwelfare.gov/preventing 15

16 Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community www.childwelfare.gov/preventing

Exploring Strengths and Needs

In order to explore . . . Ask the parent . . .

Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community www.childwelfare.gov/preventing 1

Sharing Strategies and Resources to Strengthen Nurturing and Attachment

Resources to promote nurturing may include information about:

Impact of nurturing on development

Parenting strategies that promote nurturing

Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community www.childwelfare.gov/preventing

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6 Promoviendo familias sanas en su comunidad www.childwelfare.gov/espanol

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