Erica - So, what do you think of me?

Do I even mean something to you, or am I just

one of the girls you casually hang out with?
h no honey! "ou mean a lot to me# "ou are really s$ecial# %e$lies &ark#
'ell, then why aren(t we officially )oyfriend*girlfriend? 'hy does it feel like I(m still
waiting in the line?
&ark didn(t really have an answer to this, and I honestly can(t )lame him# +he
moment you have to ask a guy where you stand, or need him to e,$lain where things
are headed, you(ve already lost the )attle#
It(s only a long, frustrating and a very $ainful u$hill clim) from that $oint forward#
-t that $oint, you are only trying to hold someone who is su$er eager to run away
from you# +his is the same as trying to hold a cra.y dog )y the leash, the more you
$ull him towards you, the more he tries to get away# "ou have to a$$ly a severe
amount of force, and the moment you take it easy, he runs away within seconds#
/ut the )ig 0uestion is - how does someone get in this situation with a guy to )egin
with? 'hy does such a thing take $lace?
I had a client who was in this e,act situation#
-t first, the man she was dating showed so much interest in her, that it overloaded her
ego# She felt like he was so into her, that he would rush to her with a )ig shiny ring in
his hand, the moment she asks him to marry her#
In fact, she even started making $lans for their future#
&ind you, she didn(t tell the guy a)out these $lans, it was all in her own head ,and
she even decided the e,act kind of wedding they would have, what kind of house
they(re going to )uy, and even went into great details $lanning and o)sessing over
every detail#
+he more she met him, the more interested he a$$eared to )e, in her# Everything was
going a)solutely great until one day she asked him 1 So, what do you think a)out
marriage?
'ith a )lank looks on his face he said 1 I think marriage is over rated# I won(t ever
marry#
2uh? "ou won(t ever marry she asked? 'ithout any e,$ression, he nodded his head in
agreement# Suddenly, she felt her wedding $lans turning into a distant dream#
3eeling a sudden emotional rush, she asked the man 1 So are you saying you won(t
marry me?
4ow the look on this guys face went from )lank to a)solutely shocked###
'hat? &arriage? 'e(ve only )een going out for a little time# /esides, I don(t want to
ever get married5 I just want to remain single forever#
"eah right said my client#
3ine! So tell me# 'here do you see us a few years from now?
)viously, he didn(t have an answer#
+his was that e,act situation of trying to kee$ a dog on a leash, when he just wants to
run after other things# In such a case, you can6t hel$ )ut feel this ugly $ull and
tension, which is really $ainful#
So, there are 7 conclusions from this that you must understand8
Conclusion #1 Dont take the product to the customer, let him rather
come to the shop
Do you remem)er the a)solutely incredi)le, $lus a little )it over hy$ed, a$$le I-$hone
launch? If you do, then one of the highlights of that whole launch was that $eo$le
stood in lines outsides a$$le stores, waiting for them to crack o$en the doors#
+he cra.y thing was, $eo$le were willingly throwing money at a$$le, and wanted to )e
the first to get their hands on this gadget#
+he $oint I(m trying to make here is sim$le 1 "ou have to do something similar with a
man# "ou have to have the same effect, a$$le $roducts had on their customers#
2ere is the )ig lesson - "ou can(t take the $roduct to his house and convince him to
)uy it, rather, you have to generate enough curiosity within him a)out you, which
makes him come running to you#
I(ll descri)e the $rocess on how to do it in a moment, )ut )efore that it(s time to
reveal the second )ig conclusion8
Conclusion #2 Scarcity is more important than quality of the product
nce again, I(ll have to go )ack to the I-$hone e,am$le# If you truly $ay attention to
the $roduct itself, then you(ll reali.e that the uni0ue selling $oint of the I$hone wasn(t
just its fancy design, and functionality#
It was something else, and something a)solutely critical 1 It as scarcity!
'hen something )ecomes scarce, or hard to attain, we automatically assume it must
)e of higher value, and even agree to $ay ridiculous amounts of $rice for it, which was
the I$hone in this case#
- very similar conce$t a$$lies to men and relationshi$s as well# "ou could )e an
a)solutely wonderful woman, who has her life in order, )ut that(s not enough
anymore, you need to trigger enough tension and curiosity in his mind a)out you#
/ut, most women take the o$$osite route# +hey try to logically convince a guy, to
notice their 0ualities# 2owever, the issue is that, doing it that way never works#
So in short, your true worth in his eyes, isn(t just de$endent on your 0ualities, rather
it(s also de$endent u$on the scarcity factor# I(ll e,$lain this in a lot more detail soon
)ut )efore that let(s get to the third most im$ortant conclusion8
Conclusion #" # $et him come to his conclusion, rather than tryin% to
con&ince him
4ever ever ask a guy where things are headed# 4ever ever ask him 1 So, what do
you think of me or 'hen will I see you again?
-ll these are e,am$les of you trying to convince a man to notice, or like you# +his is
the same as trying to demonstrate the general 0ualities of a $roduct in ho$es that, he
is eventually going to )uy it#
+he truth is, no one ever )uys anything without enough tension and desire# Similarly,
it(s really im$ortant for a guy to come to his own conclusion that you are a wonderful
woman, and he would love to have you in his life#
-nd honestly, there is only one method which can hel$ you achieve this# I call it the
'Coolness factor(!
+o define it in the most sim$le terms, coolness factor is a)out )eing that one cool and
easy going girl, who is free from all emotional insecurities, and has this $ositive*cool
aura a)out herself#
&any years ago, when I was actively $racticing my $ick u$ skills, I ha$$ened to meet
this a)solutely intriguing woman# 9et(s name her -ndrea for $rivacy reasons#
-ndrea looked like a little )it of a geek on the outside, and was a huge )ook worm at
heart# In fact, she was literally addicted to all kinds of self-hel$ )ooks# She had a room
full of )ooks, stacked one a)ove another, and if that wasn(t enough, her com$uter
hard drive was a)solutely scattered with thousands of more self hel$ e/ooks#
/ack in those days, my success rate with women was so good that it made me
develo$ a little )it of an ego, and for the right reasons as well#
+here aren(t many guys I knew of )ack in those days, who could actively a$$roach
random women, and get their $hone num)er within : minutes of conversation#
/ut as they always say 1 ;ride comes )efore the fall# In my case, that was a)out to
ha$$en with the arrival of -ndrea in my world#
I still remem)er the day when I was trying one of my tricks on her, and how she
com$letely fli$$ed it around, and made me look like a fool#
I was in conversation with -ndrea over the $hone one day, when I decided to $lay one
of my tricks on her# I said 1 "ou know -ndrea, I like you, )ut I don(t know if we could
get along#
&ost women usually ask me why I think we won(t get along, and then I indirectly $ut
myself in the $osition of $ower# It(s a little sneaky, )ut has worked for me every single
time I(ve used it#
2owever, in the case of -ndrea, I was a)out to get a very un$leasant sur$rise# +he
moment I said this sentence, I had a little grin $lastered across my face, as if, I knew
that -ndrea will ask me why I think that, and then I would make her run after me#
/ut instead of asking me why, she changed the whole game around and said 1 h
<ool! So now I can date <had# 2e seems to like me a lot#
<had was a friend of mine )ack in the day, and him, -ndrea and a )unch of our other
friends, used to hang out on weekends#
+his statement caught me )y sur$rise8
I didn(t know what to say ne,t, I was literally lost for words, and for the right reasons
as well# She had suddenly twisted the whole thing around in her favor, and now I was
feeling like a fool#
4ever )efore had a girl answered me like that#
/ut this was only the )eginning# It seemed like -ndrea was com$letely immune to my
efforts# She seemed very strong emotionally, and not once did she make any efforts to
im$ress or $lease me, like other women#
Since all my efforts so far had misera)ly failed, I decided to turn on my - =-&E# I
thought, I(ll use the jealousy card on her# n our ne,t meeting, I $ulled out my $hone
and started showing her some $ictures of me standing ne,t to this $articular hot
woman#
I thought when I(ll show it to her, she(d )e curious and ask me more a)out her, and in
the $rocess get a little jealous# 2owever, the moment she saw the first $icture, she
made a funny face and said 1 -ww, how cute# "ou two totally look like a cou$le# "ou
should marry her#
I hesitantly said, >m, I will#
-nd then, I saw no real emotional reaction from her# It was like -ndrea wasn(t
affected )y my attem$ts whatsoever#
Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months# +he more I got to know
-ndrea, the more I started to like her# I had never ever come across a woman, who
was such a joy to )e around, and when I say that, I truly mean it#
4ever once did she discuss anything negative with me, nor, did she ever com$lain
a)out anything going on in her life# 'hen she did have any $ro)lems, she would ask
me for my o$inion, however, )y the end, she always used to say 1 Don(t worry! I(ll
handle it#
+he more I got to know her, the more my mind felt attached to her#
"ou see, the weird $art was, that even women who were ?@ times $rettier than
-ndrea, never had an effect this intense, on my mind and )ody# I could literally feel
myself falling for this woman, and it was like I had a)solutely no control over myself#
+hen, as more time $assed )y, it got to the $oint where I was the one calling -ndrea
several times a day, and I was the one trying to s$end as much time with her as
$ossi)le# +he rest of the story is a little too em)arrassing, so I might share it with you
in one of my future emails, however, for now, let(s get )ack to the )ig message#
+he )ig message from this story is sim$le 1 -ndrea had what I call the coolness factor
and here is why I say so###
8She never chased after me, or even hinted that she was too into me#
8She was never too eager for my attention5 rather she welcomed me when I went to
her, and never tried to $ull me when I was away#
8She never made efforts to make me like her, rather, she $resented her )est self,
which naturally attracted me#
8She never demanded res$ect from me, however, any time she felt like she was )eing
disres$ected, she just took s$ace and avoided me# In other words 1 She made her
$oint )y actions, not words#
8She never tried to tra$ me, or force commitment on me# %ather, she just
demonstrated a $ositive attitude, which naturally made me feel a need to kee$ her
around as much as $ossi)le#
I could go on and on, )ut I guess you get some idea on what I mean )y the coolness
factor#
+he )ig theory is that, she never tried to force me or $ush me into feeling attraction
for her, rather, she stood her ground, and demonstrated a $ositive attitude which
naturally ins$ired me to feel attraction for her#
+his is what the coolness factor can do for you# 'hen you act like a cool woman
around any guy, you indirectly hel$ him eliminate all his )arriers towards commitment,
and also hel$ him feel this $ositive tension which can only )e satisfied when he
commits to you#
+his is the same kind of tension which you e,$erience, when you have fallen in love
with someone and dee$ down5 you just want that $erson around, as often as $ossi)le#
So, how can one develo$ the coolness factor? It(s very sim$le, and re0uires you to do
one thing, which is8
)e emotionally independent
I can(t tell you how im$ortant this one $oint is, not only in regards to men and
relationshi$s, )ut life as well# +he issue is that most women sooner or later, dis$lay
certain tendencies, which indicate that they are de$endent on their man emotionally#
It could )e something as sim$le as demanding his time, effort or hel$#
<ool women don(t demand anything, and dis$lay com$lete emotional inde$endence# If
a guy would like to offer his time, effort or hel$ on his own will, then it(s a$$reciated#
2owever, cool women never demand, or even e,$ect such a thing from any man#
/ut, here is the weird thing8
'hen you don(t demand or e,$ect it, and are com$letely inde$endent, guys will
naturally feel the need to shower you with all these things and more# +hat(s )ecause
dee$ down in their mind, they feel that since you(re this inde$endent $erson, who isn(t
going to force or $ush them around, you deserve their time, effort and hel$#
+hey naturally come to the conclusion, that you are a high 0uality woman, who
deserves to )e in their life, and they would even fight to kee$ you around as much as
$ossi)le#
-s long as you are emotionally inde$endent, you will never have any trou)le with men
and relationshi$s, and will easily get all the love, desire and devotion you desire from
any man, without even having to ask for it#
=ood luck#
-le,