Reckless Abandon

By
John Ridlehoover
ESTABLISHING SHOT:
The outside of THE BEER GARDEN, a dimly lit bar that is
purposely divey. Christmas lights hang on tree branches,
and mountain-themed memorabilia sits on the walls. The bar
is located in the brightly lit DOWNTOWN ASHEVILLE area.
INT. THE BEER GARDEN - NIGHT
Behind the bar we see the cute bartender, ELLEN (23, short,
pixie cut blonde hair). Seated beside her at the end of the
bar is a slim young man, MATT CARMINE (25, bearded, tall,
wears an "I just got out of bed" look). Matt pulls out a
pack of cigarettes, and sticks one into his mouth.
ELLEN
Hey, idiot. What are you doing?
MATT
What are you talking about?
ELLEN
You know theres no smoking in
here, Matt.
MATT
I just figured being your friend
for over two decades had its
benefits.
ELLEN
Just because you were there for me
during my first period doesnt mean
that you can get me fired.
MATT
Come on, Ellen, Im trying to give
off that James Dean look. This
place is actually full of hot
girls. Instead of hairy
construction workers and you.
ELLEN
Look, I am just as happy about this
as you are, but-
Ellen notices a girl out of the corner of her eye. It is
OPHELIA GODFREY (23 tall, dark hair, wearing clothes that
show the perfectly tanned skin on her legs and
shoulders). Matt picks up a toothpick and starts chewing on
it.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 2.
MATT
Do girls still like John Stamos? I
could for that look.
ELLEN
Do you know who that is?
Matt looks to Ophelia.
MATT
Whoa. Hopefully my bed mate
tonight.
ELLEN
No, perv. That is Ophelia Godfrey.
MATT
No way. Ophelia the Cunt Supreme?
ELLEN
Is that really what we called her?
MATT
Fuck, she looks good. I didnt
think that crap on her face was
going to heal. I always thought
she would end up looking like
Edward James Olmos.
ELLEN
That is totally her. I would
recognize that maniacal smile
anywhere.
MATT
And shes the one that-
ELLEN
Called me Snipes the Dyke through
all of high school? Yup.
MATT
Wow, our high school class was bad
at coming up with nicknames.
ELLEN
Yeah, well her nickname for me
caught on better than mine for her.
MATT
Granted, she was right. You did
end up preferring vaginas to
penises.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 3.
ELLEN
Yeah, but I didnt need the whole
school knowing before I was ready
to tell even you. Besides, it was
less the name-calling and more the
under the bleachers beatings she
gave me.
MATT
Ooo, yeah. Those were not fun to
watch.
ELLEN
You filmed them.
MATT
Yeah, because shockingly, teenage
boys would pay a lot of money to
see two girls beat on each
other. Or more, one girl beat up
another girl. Besides, I would
just set up the camera, then go for
help. You know Im always looking
out for you.
ELLEN
Well, she better not try anything
tonight.
MATT
Why? You been taking karate
classes or something, Hilary Swank?
ELLEN
No, picking up moves from boxing
movies.
MATT
Rocky?
ELLEN
Real Steel. Its got boxing and
robots.
MATT
Well, robot aside, we are all
older, and Im just glad we dont
have to hold onto high school drama
like that anymore.
ELLEN
Yeah.
Ellen wipes down the counter in silence for a moment.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 4.
MATT
So, you wanna jump her outside?
ELLEN
Totally.
MATT
Ill get my camera.
Ellen raises her eyebrow as Matt runs away.
EXT. ALLEY BEHIND BEER GARDEN - NIGHT
Matt is in a dirty, dark alley with his camera set up on a
tripod right beside a large green dumpster.
Ellen enters the alley to see Matt framing various scenes
with his hands.
ELLEN
What the hell are you doing?
MATT
So, Im thinking you lure her out
here through that door, then bang
her head on the dumpster. And
maybe, you could let her get a
punch in or two, just to make it
interesting. Then-
ELLEN
Okay, you arent doing
this...again.
MATT
Come on!
ELLEN
No, idiot! Now, come back inside
before you get knifed by a
crackhead.
INT. BEER GARDEN - NIGHT
Matt is siting at the bar, and Ellen is behind it. She
keeps randomly looking over to Ophelia, who is smiling and
laughing with a group of friends.
MATT
Well, can I at least take pictures?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 5.
ELLEN
No, weirdo.
MATT
Come on, El. I could really use
the money.
ELLEN
No! Besides, I am not really going
to fight her. I was just talking
shit...What do you need money for
anyway?
MATT
So my stupid cousin doesnt have to
move in.
ELLEN
Your cousin is moving in? Which
one?
MATT
Alice.
ELLEN
Alice! The girl that ran over some
guys cat, then tried to sue him
for damages to her car?
MATT
Yeah. Maybe if I had extra money I
could just buy her an apartment of
her own.
ELLEN
Why is she coming anyway?
MATT
She had a mental breakdown after
her divorce, and her mom thinks it
would be a good idea for her to get
away from the stress of New York.
ELLEN
Does she know its stressful out
here too? They may have traffic,
but we have snowstorms and fucking
bears.
MATT
Dont ask me, dude. That whole
family is fucking weird. But my
aunt did basically raise me, so I
kind of owe her.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 6.
MAN AT BAR
Maam, could I get a PBR?
ELLEN
Yeah. I gotta get a few from the
back.
Ellen exits the bar, walks passed Ophelias table, and
enters a back room.
MATT
(to man at bar)
How much would you pay to see two
girls fight?
INT. THE BEER GARDEN - NIGHT - LATER
Ellen re-enters the Beer Garden. She bumps Ophelias
shoulder as she walks by.
ELLEN
Im sorry.
OPHELIA
Youre good.
Ellen smiles and tries to walk away.
OPHELIA (CONTD)
Hey, I know you.
ELLEN
Um, I dont-
OPHELIA
Yeah, you are Ellen Snipes. We
went to high school together.
ELLEN
Really?
OPHELIA
Yeah, its me. Ophelia
Godfrey. You have to remember me.
ELLEN
Um, I guess, a little.
Ophelia starts to slur her words and sway.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 7.
OPHELIA
Damn, I miss those days. Dont
you?
ELLEN
No, not really.
OPHELIA
Really? I had a blast in high
school. One of the best times of
my life.
Ellen clenches her fists.
ELLEN
Well, I gotta get back to work.
OPHELIA
Okay, later, Snipes the Dyke.
Ellen jumps on Ophelia, and starts to pull her hair. Matt
runs over to the commotion to see that a crowd has already
gathered.
MATT
Fuck! I dont have my
camera! Someone! Let me borrow a
camera phone! Oh, I have one.
Matt starts to dig in his pocket.
INT. BEER GARDEN - NIGHT - LATER
The bar is now empty except for Ellen and Matt. Ellen is
sitting at an empty table holding her head. Matt comes over
with an ice pack, and hands it to Ellen.
MATT
Looks like those boxing moves came
in handy. What was that one thing
you did? Your finishing move.
ELLEN
You mean when I kicked her in the
vagina?
MATT
Yeah. That was a cool move.
ELLEN
God, I just feel so stupid. It was
like I was an angry, angsty high
school kid all over.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 8.
MATT
You had a lot of pinned up
anger. Its understandable that
you would want to fuck that girl
up. Even if you saw her when you
were 80 you probably would have
been beating her with your walker
and catheter bag.
ELLEN
I guess I just never expected to
see her again.
Beat.
MATT
Well, on the plus side, I did
manage to get most of it on video.
ELLEN
Well, thank God for that.
MATT
I better go. I gotta be up early
to pick up Alice. Hey, dont
worry, El. After the beating you
gave her, Im sure youll never see
Ophelia the Cunt Supreme again.
Matt pats Ellen on the head as he leaves.
After a few moments, there is a knock on the window. Ellen
looks over to see Ophelia smiling and waving. Ellen walks
over to the window.
ELLEN
What do you want?
OPHELIA
I come in peace. I just want to
talk.
ELLEN
I dont want to talk to you.
Ellen starts to walk away.
OPHELIA
Look, I will be having coffee at
Markys in the morning around
ten. If you want to meet me there
thats awesome, if not, I
understand. I just have some
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 9.
OPHELIA (contd)
things I want to say...about when
we were kids.
Ophelia walks away. Ellen sits and ponders for a
moment. There is a knock at the window. It is Ophelia
again.
OPHELIA (CONTD)
Hey, I think I dropped my phone
somewhere in there. If you find it
could you bring it tomorrow? And
try and be careful with it. I
broke the case so the screen is
delicate.
INT. MARKYS - DAY
Inside of a ice cream/coffee shop we see Ellen enter through
the double doors. Why did I come here?
She sees Ophelia waving at her from the back of the
shop. Ellen has a seat in front of her.
OPHELIA
Im glad you decided to come.
ELLEN
Yeah. Whatever.
OPHELIA
Oh, did you ever find my phone?
Ellen pulls a phone from her pocket. The screen looks like
it went through a blender.
ELLEN
Sorry. I think someone might have
stepped on it last night.
OPHELIA
It looks like it went through a
blender.
CUT TO:
10.
INT. ELLENS APARTMENT - KITCHEN - MORNING
Ellen is in her apartment at the kitchen counter with a
blender. She starts the blender, then drops the phone in.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. MARKYS - DAY
Ophelia examines her phone. Ellen smiles.
EXT. BUS STATION - MORNING
Matt sits looking at his camera phone on a bus bench. The
images he sees are only of Ophelia and Ellens feet.
MATT
Ugh. These are no good. Its only
feet. Hmm. Im sure someone will
pay for it.
A large bus pulls in front of Matt. After a few people exit
the bus, a girl in a long dress (ALICE 27, no makeup, a bit
frumpy) exits the bus.
MATT
Alice. Over here.
Alice walks over to Matt. They reluctantly hug one another.
MATT
Its good to see you.
ALICE
Cut the shit, Matt. I dont want
to be here as much as you dont
want me here, but my mom thinks I
should be somewhere relaxing, or I
might snap.
MATT
Uh, okay.
ALICE
And since you arent really doing
anything with your life it seems
that you are the best person to
help me relax.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 11.
MATT
Thats not completely true. Ive
got some stuff going on.
ALICE
Lets just say this for what it
is. A pity mission on both our
parts...And lets try and not piss
each other off too much, like we
always seem too.
MATT
Well, okay, but-
Alice walks right passed Matt and towards a beat-up red
Honda civic.
ALICE
The shittiest car on the street. I
assume thats yours, right?
MATT
Uh...
ALICE
Yeah. Unlock it will you?
INT. MARKYS - DAY
OPHELIA
Do you want a coffee or anything?
ELLEN
Im good.
OPHELIA
Listen, what I said last night, Im
really sorry. I was drunk, and a
bit high on PCP. I bought a pack
of those cigarettes that they dip
in PCP.
ELLEN
Pcp. Isnt that the stuff that
makes you want to kill people?
OPHELIA
No, I think thats just media
hype. Granted, I hated it and
wont ever do it again.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 12.
ELLEN
Didnt the rapper from Run DMC cut
of his dick while high on it?
OPHELIA
Wu-tang Clan, actually.
ELLEN
Which one is Wu-tang Clan?
OPHELIA
(rapping)
Cash rules everything around me-
ELLEN
(joining in with the rap)
Gotta get that money, dolla dolla
bill yal.
OPHELIA
Haha. Yeah.
ELLEN
Okay. Is that all you wanted? To
apologize? Cause if so, Im just
gonna head out.
OPHELIA
No. Uh...You want a coffee?
ELLEN
I dont really drink coffee.
OPHELIA
What about a smoothie?
ELLEN
Do they sell alcohol here?
OPHELIA
I think they make mimosas, but its
only ten o clock.
ELLEN
Ill take three of those.
OPHELIA
Okay.
Ophelia stands up and walks away. Ellen stares at Ophelia
with discontent as she walks away.
13.
INT. MATTS APARTMENT - DAY
Matt and Alice enter his apartment. It is a small
two-bedroom with dirty white walls, and dead grass brown
carpet. It appears that he has tried to clean, but has
missed a few empty beer bottles and pizza crusts.
Alice sniffs the air, and cringes.
ALICE
It smells like socks and week old
pizza in here.
MATT
I dont smell anything.
ALICE
Thats because when you live in
shit you become immune to the
smells. Its like why zookeepers
dont barf every time they have to
clean elephant shit.
MATT
Okay, look, I am letting you stay
with me, and I know I owe your mom,
but you could be a bit more
appreciative.
ALICE
My mom is paying your rent to let
me stay with you, without me you
are homeless. So, I think you
should be a bit more appreciative
to me.
Alice and Matt stare at other with "I want to murder you so
bad" looks.
MATT
I want to punch you in the face so
bad.
ALICE
Try it, and see what happens,
bitch.
Matt clenches his fists. Alice furrows her eyebrows. Matt
backs away.
ALICE (CONTD)
So, this is my room?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 14.
Alice enters a bedroom to her left. Matt plops down on the
couch and throws a cigarette into his mouth. Alice quickly
emerges from the bedroom.
ALICE
Dont smoke inside! I have
asthma.
INT. MARKYS - DAY
Ellen is working on her fourth mimosa. Ophelia is on her
second.
OPHELIA
You have just got the cutest
haircut.
Ophelia touches Ellens hair. Ellen raises her eyebrow.
ELLEN
Uh, thanks.
OPHELIA
A lot better than that bowl cut you
had in high school. Hahah. That
haircut made you look...
ELLEN
Gayer than the original Batman
series? Thats what you used to
tell me in high school.
OPHELIA
Im sorry.
ELLEN
Well, you were right about me being
gay.
OPHELIA
Oh. My gaydar was on
point. Still. I never should have
treated you like that. I know I
was a major cunt to you in high
school.
ELLEN
Yeah. Id agree with that.
OPHELIA
And you are understandably still
holding animosity towards me.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 15.
ELLEN
Yeah, well when you receive a
wedgie so hard that it tears your
asshole like a wet napkin, scars
tend to be left. And not just
physical ones.
OPHELIA
Yeah.
ELLEN
Emotional ones, too.
OPHELIA
Uh, yeah.
INT. MATTS APARTMENT - NIGHT
Matt and Alice are standing in front of the bathroom door,
both with clenched fists.
ALICE
What kind of beast produces this
much goddamn body hair!
MATT
I like to keep myself
trimmed. Excuse me for practicing
good hygiene.
ALICE
Well, why dont you apply those
same hygiene techniques to your
laundry, because it smells like a
goddamn taco stand in here.
MATT
Oh little miss big city. Too good
for tacos now!
INT. MARKYS - DAY
OPHELIA
Ellen, I know there is nothing I
could say that would make you
forgive me for what I have done in
the past, but just know that I am
truly sorry. I was so happy when I
saw you last night, because I
thought I would finally get to
apologize for all the pain I caused
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 16.
OPHELIA (contd)
you in high school, but I just
fucked it up...the mimosas are on
me, okay?
Ophelia stands up to leave. Ellen folds her arms and
exhales deeply.
ELLEN
Wait.
Ophelia sits back down.
ELLEN (CONTD)
Look, I know neither of us is the
same person we were in high
school. I shouldnt have been so
quick to assume that you were that
same pimply bitch that beat me up
all the time.
Beat.
OPHELIA
I saw that you and that skinny kid
that would film us fighting still
hang out.
ELLEN
Matt? Yeah. I see him almost
everyday of my life. Cant seem to
get rid of him. And believe me, I
have tried.
OPHELIA
None of my friends kept in touch
with me after college, which is
understandable since I was Grade A
cunt. So, how is Matt?
ELLEN
Hes okay, I think.
INT. MATTS APARTMENT - DAY
Alice throws a wad of wet, curly hair at Matt.
MATT
Are you going to clean that
up! Oh, of course not, because you
are used to having everything done
for you!
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 17.
ALICE
Fuck you, Matt! You act like you
had this hard life because your mom
left. Oh boo hoo. My mom treated
you better than she did me. And do
you know why?
MATT
No, please enlighten me.
ALICE
Because you would bitch and cry
about how sad you were until my mom
gave you everything you wanted.
MATT
Excuse me, but I was not the bitchy
one in the house.
ALICE
Whats that suppose to mean?
MATT
Your mom told me, constantly, that
she hated the way you treated
everyone around you.
ALICE
The way I treated everyone?
MATT
You treated everyone like they are
goddamn idiots, and you still do.
ALICE
I have no idea what you are talking
about.
MATT
Youve been like that since you
were little. You act like you
should be held to a higher standard
than the rest of us. Like you are
the only one with anything good to
offer. Well, just because you are
smart doesnt mean that you can
treat other people like trash.
ALICE
I dont treat people like trash.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 18.
MATT
You treat your own mother like
trash. You werent even there for
her last birthday.
ALICE
I got caught up at work.
MATT
Oh, well that explains it. God,
you dont even realize how awful of
a person you are, do you? Im
surprised your marriage lasted as
long as it did.
Matts eyes widen. Alice folds her arms, and holds back
tears.
Long beat.
MATT
Alice, Im sorry. I didnt mean
to...
Alice waits for a response.
ALICE
Finish your sentence.
MATT
What?
ALICE
You said you didnt mean to...
MATT
Honestly, I thought you were going
to run in your room, and slam the
door before I had time to finish,
so I didnt really plan an ending
to my sentence.
Alice runs in her room and slams the door.
MATT
Yeah. Like that.
19.
INT. MARKYS - DAY
Ophelia is holding her hand like someone with
arthritis. Ellen is laughing. There are several empty
glasses in front of them.
OPHELIA
(doing an old woman voice)
She always used to be like,
children, if you dont quite down I
will bite you.
ELLEN
God, yeah I remember that. God,
that bitch was weird. I always
expected it to come out in the news
that she had eaten the face off a
kid or something.
Ophelia gets awkwardly close to Ellen.
OPHELIA
Your skin cleared up so nicely.
Ophelia rubs her hand on Ellens cheek.
ELLEN
Thanks, yours did too.
Ellen doesnt want to rub her hand on Ophelias cheek, but
does anyway.
OPHELIA
God. It is only noon, and I am
already buzzing hard. Lets go
hang out somewhere else. Like the
mall or the river.
ELLEN
Ophelia, I really appreciate all of
this, and I do accept your apology,
its just, this is still a little
weird for me.
OPHELIA
Why?
ELLEN
I dont know.
OPHELIA
No, tell me.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 20.
ELLEN
Well...I hated you so much in high
school. Like as much as it is
possible to hate another human
being. You were the reason I
dreaded coming to school, and to
see you now, its just...
OPHELIA
Weird.
ELLEN
Yeah.
Ophelia grabs Ellens hand. Ellen raises her eyebrow.
OPHELIA
What can I do to make it less
weird?
She strokes Ellens index finger.
INT. ELLENS APARTMENT - DAY
Ellens apartment is a small one-bedroom with floral
wallpaper and a brown couch in the center. From the living
room, the noises of Ophelia and Ellen having sex are heard.
OPHELIA
Hows that feel?
ELLEN
Yeah, that feels good.
OPHELIA
How about we try this?
ELLEN
No! Dont do that!
INT. ELLENS APARTMENT - BEDROOM - DAY
On a large pink bed sits Ellen and Ophelia, nude and holding
their crotches.
ELLEN
Fuck!
OPHELIA
Sorry, I thought that was a thing
lesbians do.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 21.
ELLEN
It takes years of practice with
another person to get scissoring
right. You cant just go full
force ramming vaginas into one
another.
OPHELIA
Sorry.
ELLEN
Wait, is this your first time with
another girl?
OPHELIA
Yeah.
ELLEN
Are you gay?
OPHELIA
I dont know.
ELLEN
You dont know?
OPHELIA
Ive always kind of liked girls and
guys.
ELLEN
So, you are bi.
OPHELIA
I dont know. Someone told me I
was gender queer, but then I also
heard I could be pan, but to me-
ELLEN
Do you want me to eat out your
pussy?
OPHELIA
Yeah, sure.
INT. ELLENS APARTMENT - NIGHT
Matt enters Ellens apartment. He pulls out his pack of
cigarettes, and goes to put one in his mouth, but realizes
that he has none left.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 22.
MATT
Fuck. Ellen?
INT. ELLENS APARTMENT - BEDROOM - NIGHT
Ellen lifts her head out of Ophelias crotch.
OPHELIA
Whyd you stop?
MATT
(from outside of room)
Ellen?
INT. ELLENS APARTMENT - NIGHT
ELLEN
(from inside room)
Matt?
MATT
Yeah.
ELLEN
What do you want?
MATT
Well, I kind of pissed off Alice,
so I figured Id come over here and
let her be alone for a while.
ELLEN
Well, Im kind of busy right now.
Matt notices a purse laying open on the coffee table.
MATT
Holy shit, do you have someone in
there?
ELLEN
Yeah.
OPHELIA
Hi.
Matt sits down on the couch.
MATT
Hello. Well, listen. Is it cool
if I wait out here until you get
done?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 23.
ELLEN
Matt, go away.
MATT
Ugh, fine. Mystery lady, can I
borrow some cigarettes? I see them
laying here by your purse.
OPHELIA
Sure.
Matt grabs the cigarettes and leaves.
INT. MATTS APARTMENT - NIGHT
Matt enters his apartment, and plops down on the couch. He
pulls out a pack of cigarettes, and places one in his
mouth. Alice exits her room.
Matt sighs and pulls the cigarette away from his mouth.
ALICE
You dont have to stop.
She sits next to him.
MATT
Alice, look, Im so fucking sorry
for what I said earlier. I didnt
mean it.
ALICE
Yes, you did.
MATT
No. Im just stressed that I am in
this situation, where my aunt has
to pay all of my bills. It makes
me feel like a fucking loser, but I
shouldnt have taken it out on you.
ALICE
You were right about me, Matt. I
do treat people badly, and I dont
know why.
MATT
Well, you havent had good
experiences with people.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 24.
ALICE
You and my mom are good people.
MATT
Well, maybe you are just a bitch.
ALICE
Maybe, but at least Im not a
loser.
Matt hands Alice a cigarette. She smirks then takes it.
ALICE
I dont really have asthma.
MATT
I know...To bitches and losers.
He lights his cigarette, lights hers, then takes a long
drag. Alice does the same. Matt squints his eyes and
smacks his lips.
MATT
Do these taste weird to you?
ALICE
I dont know. Ive never smoked a
cigarette before.
Matt shrugs, then takes another drag.
INT. ELLENS APARTMENT - NIGHT
Ellen and Ophelia emerge from the bedroom looking refreshed.
OPHELIA
Wow. That was great.
ELLEN
Yeah, it was.
OPHELIA
You were hiding what a freak you
are in bed in high school.
ELLEN
Didnt want people knowing I was
gay and a whore. That just gives
us all a bad name.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 25.
OPHELIA
Hey, if anyone was the whore in
high school, it was me.
ELLEN
Oh yeah?
OPHELIA
Yeah. I slept with almost any guy
that gave me a passing
glance. Even that Reggie Willham
weirdo.
ELLEN
You slept with Reggie Willham?
OPHELIA
Yeah. A couple of times,
actually. Gross, right?
ELLEN
When?
OPHELIA
What?
ELLEN
When did you have sex with Reggie?
OPHELIA
Like the beginning of sophomore
year. Why?
ELLEN
I was dating him then.
OPHELIA
Okay. So.
ELLEN
So, you slept with a guy I was
dating.
OPHELIA
You are gay. Why does it matter?
ELLEN
It fucking matters because he was
my boyfriend at the time, and you
slept with him.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 26.
OPHELIA
Dude, get over it. I just ate your
pussy like a goddamn champ. Take
that as payment for causing
infidelity in your fake
relationship.
ELLEN
I wouldnt exactly call yourself a
champ at eating pussy.
OPHELIA
Please, I had you moaning like a
goddamn ghost.
ELLEN
Yeah. And lesbians can fake
orgasms too, just like Im sure
most the boys you slept with did
when they experienced your dead
starfish technique.
OPHELIA
Reggie seemed to like it.
INT. MATTS APARTMENT - LATER - NIGHT
Matt holds his legs at his chest as he watches cartoons on
TV. His eyes quickly move from one side of the TV to the
other. Alice is pacing back and forth behind him. Both of
their eyes are dilated to almost double the normal size.
MATT
When did kids shows get so
terrifying? I mean, look at that
thing.
It is revealed that Matt is watching an infomercial for a
Workout video. The spokesman is a muscular, shirtless black
man.
MATT
He looks like an action figure made
out of chocolate.
ALICE
Im so bored. Arent you
bored? This place is fucking
boring!
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 27.
MATT
We should go do something!
ALICE
Yeah, yeah! Lets go do something!
MATT
We can do something really cool,
like, uh, swim in the river, or
climb the mountain.
ALICE
God, that sounds fucking fun as
fucking shit!
MATT
Or we could go downtown and find
money in the fountain.
ALICE
Oh, shit that sounds so fun!
MATT
Lets call, Ellen!
ALICE
Yeah, call her!
Matt pulls out his phone.
INT. ELLENS APARTMENT - NIGHT
Ellen and Ophelia are on top of each other, fighting yet
again. Ellens phone rings just as she pins Ophelia to the
ground.
ELLEN
Say goodbye to another chunk of
your fake ass hair, bitch.
She answers the phone.
ELLEN
What?!
MATT
Hey.
ELLEN
Hey.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 28.
MATT
What are you doing?
ELLEN
Im in the middle of
something. Can you call back?
Screaming is heard in the background.
MATT
Wait. Who is this?
The screaming continues. Alice is licking herself in the
mirror.
MATT
Dont call me anymore. (to
Alice) What were we doing?
INT. ELLENS APARTMENT - NIGHT
Ellen punches Ophelia in the stomach. Ophelia collapses
back, catches her breath, then runs at Ellen and knocks her
over.
OPHELIA
You think, just because you are a
little stronger than you were in
high school that I cant still take
you down like the little bitch you
are.
Ophelia flips Ellen onto her stomach.
OPHELIA
I hope you have got extra soft
toilet paper, because you are going
to need it.
ELLEN
No!
Ophelia reaches into Ellens pants and pulls the back of her
thong out. Ellen SCREAMS in pain.
INT. MATTS APARTMENT - BATHROOM - NIGHT
Matt is in his bathtub taking a bubble bath with all of his
clothes on. Alice is in front of the mirror flossing her
teeth.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 29.
MATT
Alice, I just have to tell
you. you are a cool person. And I
am sorry that we never got along as
kids, but I think we have both
grown up, and now we can be mature
about our problems, and can deal
with them like adults.
ALICE
I know what we can do.
MATT
What?
ALICE
Lets go kill my husband.
MATT
What?
ALICE
I know where he lives. It is only
an eight hour drive. We can go to
his house, and set it on fire.
MATT
Alice...that is such...a great
idea!
ALICE
Yeah!
MATT
He shouldnt have just up, and left
you. That asshole deserves to be
burned alive.
ALICE
Yeah, he does...so, you will do
this with me?
MATT
Carmines forever. We dont let
shit go. But, first, I have to
ask, does he have kids?
ALICE
No.
MATT
Okay, I am just trying to figure
out how much lighter fluid we are
going to need.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 30.
ALICE
Matt, I love you.
MATT
I love you too, cuz. Come on. Im
driving.
Matt stands up, and gets out of the bathtub as soap and
water go everywhere.
INT. ELLENS APARTMENT - BEDROOM - MORNING
Ellen wakes up in her bed. She SIGHS, then gets out of bed.
INT. ELLENS APARTMENT - KITCHEN - MORNING
Ellen sits at her kitchen table with a cup of coffee. She
gradually sips.
INT. ELLENS APARTMENT - BATHROOM - MORNING
Ellen is seated on the toilet. She tears a piece of toilet
paper. She starts to wipe, and cringes in pain.
Ellen stands up, and walks over to the mirror. She looks at
her face to see a large purple mark on her cheek. She
cringes. Ellen then lifts her shirt to reveal a large
bruise on her ribs.
ELLEN
Goddamn!
EXT. REST STOP - MORNING
Matt and Alice are inside of his car at an empty rest stop
with a small bathroom area. Matt wakes up and looks around
confusedly. He shakes Alice awake.
ALICE
Huh?
MATT
Alice, wake up.
ALICE
What. Where are we?
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 31.
MATT
I have no idea. I was hoping you
knew.
ALICE
God. I am never smoking
cigarettes, again.
Matt pulls out his phone.
MATT
My GPS says that we are two hours
away from Asheville. Where were we
going?
ALICE
I dont remember anything from last
night.
MATT
Shit, well, lets just get out of
here. Maybe the drive will jog our
memories.
Matt tries to crank to car, but it just sputters and stops.
MATT
What the fuck?
Matt looks at the dashboard to see that they are out of gas.
MATT
Fuck! We are out of gas.
ALICE
What?
Alice starts to search the car.
MATT
Goddamnit. I guess I am going to
have to call Ellen. God, she is
going to be so pissed.
ALICE
Matt, look.
Alice pulls out a large gas container.
ALICE
Its full.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 32.
MATT
I dont remember putting that in
here.
INT. ELLENS APARTMENT - BEDROOM - MORNING
Ellen crawls back into bed. It is revealed that Ophelia is
lying down next to her.
OPHELIA
You doing alright?
ELLEN
You left me a huge fucking bruise
on my ribs.
OPHELIA
Yeah, you should see my ass.
ELLEN
Yeah, but that wasnt from the
fighting.
OPHELIA
Well, now you gotta let me give you
some on your ass.
ELLEN
Id be careful down there if I were
you.
Ophelia jumps on top of Ellen and they start making out.
EXT. MATTS CAR - MORNING
Matt is pouring the gas from the container into his tank.
ALICE
Hey, Matt. I dont remember much
about last night, but I do remember
you trying to be really nice to me.
MATT
Really?
ALICE
Yeah. I remember you telling me
that my ex-husband was a dick for
leaving me, and that I deserve
better.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 33.
MATT
That doesnt really sound like me,
but okay, whatever.
ALICE
Well, either way, I appreciate what
you are doing for me, and I promise
that I will try to stop being such
a bitch. If you stop telling
yourself that you are a loser.
MATT
Deal.
Alice peeks back in the car.
ALICE
You know there is like a shit ton
of lighter fluid and matches back
here, too.
END