Who loves Sick, Sad World?

Its 911 in the morning and 1-900 in the evening. The phone sex/E.M.S.
dispatcher when Sick, Sad World returns.
They bake cookies by day, but they really heat up at night! G-string
grandmas, today on Sick, Sad World.
What do those Supreme Court judges wear under their robes? Declassified
government Polaroids, next on Sick, Sad World.
Can monkeys surf the net and corrupt our kids? Chimpanzee chat rooms,
next on Sick, Sad World.
Guano see some gutsy climbing? Scaling the worlds tallest pile of seagull
droppings, next on Sick, Sad World.
Malibus Mopiest Millionaire, next on Sick, Sad World.
Neo-natal skinheads, next on Sick, Sad World.
Are fish using our oceans as their own private toilet? A Sick, Sad
World exclusive, right after this.
Can renegade surgeons transplant your brain while you sleep? The
frightening truth, next on Sick, Sad World.
One three-ton hubby is not enough for this red hot mammal. The
polygamous hippopotamus, when Sick, Sad World returns.
A nightmare story of an enchanted kiss gone horribly wrong, when Sick,
Sad World returns.
When these ballerinas work out at the barre, they work out at the bar!
Tanked in a tutu when Sick, Sad World returns.
Next on Sick, Sad World: hoax, or vision? Some people in Florida claim
theyve seen the face of Jesus on a penny!
Death wore velvety green. Homicidal house plants, next on Sick, Sad
World.
Are microbes having sex in your drinking water? H-2-aooh! next, on Sick,
Sad World.
He gave her his kidney. She gave him her heart. Transplants and romance
when Sick, Sad World continues.
Breast implants for chickens
When he turned up his nose at accordion lessons, they cut off his
inheritance molto allegro. The Severed Pianist, next on Sick, Sad World.
What does your foot odor say about your sexual prowess? Sniffing for love,
on the next Sick, Sad World.
The worlds largest nativity scene in August? Atlanta mall manager
Gifford Jones. The Savior Went Down to Georgia, tonight on Sick, Sad
World.
What deadly new diseases can you pick up by sitting down? Toilet seat
terror next, on Sick, Sad World.
Brought back from the grave by black magic, but no one taught them to
cross at the green! The jaywalking dead, next on Sick, Sad World.
When aliens eat out, where do they relieve themselves? Extraterrestrial
restaurant restrooms, tonight on Sick, Sad World.
They broke into her bedroom. She burst into song! The inappropriate alto,
tonight on Sick, Sad World!
Is your toll collector wearing pants, a skirt, or nothing but a smile? Cold
breeze on the interstate, next on Sick, Sad World.
Meet the killer whale with a license to practice law. Orca in the Court,
tonight on Sick, Sad World.
From outer space to in your face! Aliens walk among us! A Sick, Sad
World exclusive.
Her amputee boyfriend was cheating so she stole his prosthesis, but he
kept right on hopping into strange beds. The one-legged lothario next,
on Sick, Sad World.
Meet the cannibal with a heart quick, before he eats it! Next, on Sick, Sad
World.
Could a family of ghosts be living in your house rent-free? Freeloading
familial phantoms, next on Sick, Sad World.
Can too many carrots make your head grow leaves? Uh, whats that, doc?!
In one hour, on Sick, Sad World!
Would you moan my name if I boinked you in heaven? Ghost hookers in
the sky, tonight on Sick, Sad World.
Why are so many Siamese twins being born in this Bangkok hospital?
Babes in Thailand, tonight on Sick, Sad World.
Is your cutlery holding an edge or going over one? Diary of a mad steak
knife, tonight on Sick, Sad World.
Can you teach an old dog to turn tricks? Ruff! Canine call girls, next on Sick,
Sad World.
Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly, but not when you bake them both in a
pie! Sunday brunch in the loony bin, next on Sick, Sad World.
Hes risen from the grave and he still wont pay child-support! Undead
deadbeat dads, next on Sick, Sad World.
Is there really a secret underwater railroad smuggling flounder to
freedom? Get on board the sole train, tonight on Sick, Sad World!
Thomas Jefferson. Philosopher. Inventor. President and keeper of one
saucy journal! The declaration of in my pants, tonight on Sick, Sad World.
Are drug-crazed rodents raiding your childs medicine cabinet? Rats on
Ritalin, next on Sick, Sad World.
All he wanted, just once, was to eat at the table. But she had a hankering to
howl. Shih tzu? I hardly know you! Next, on Sick, Sad World.
How shoddy fertility drugs are creating a new breed of gang and wreaking
havoc with police lineups. Delinquent quintuplets, next on Sick, Sad
World.
Meet the psychic Nazi hunter who says the Fuhrers been reincarnated as
a madcap leggy blonde! Theres something about Hitler, tonight on Sick,
Sad World.
What kind of sicko voyeur would set up a hidden camera in an Intensive
Care Unit? The peek-a-boo ICU, next on Sick, Sad World.
This king of the jungle was one tubby tabby, until the animal plastic
surgeon came to call. Lipo for Leo, next on Sick, Sad World.
Its quite a web-sight when civil war buffs get in the buff. Www.gettys-
BARE, next on Sick, Sad World.
Whats more heartless than pilfering a roll of toilet paper? (cut to man in
tuxedo with woman, holding money in one hand) Transforming it into a roll
of twenties! The squeezably soft counterfeiter, next on Sick, Sad World.
Meet the fly fishing pathologist who uses human organs as bait! A Liver
Runs Through It, next on Sick, Sad World!
Trouble travels by trike! Under-age road rage, next on Sick Sad World.
Criminals, beware. This detective wont talk, but you will! Mime and
punishment, next on Sick, Sad World.
Can anger management training really help gorillas avoid extinction?
Maybe, but its not doing much for the psychiatrists! The Apes of Wrath,
today on Sick, Sad World!
They gave her a good-bye party at 65 miles per second! Retirement by
rocket, next on Sick, Sad World.
A vision of Christ in a half-eaten candy bar? Talk about my sweet lord! The
immaculate confection, NEXT on Sick Sad World.
Whats that youre really stirring in your tea, honey or bee vomit? Animal
secretions that make us say yum tonight on Sick, Sad World