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SUBURBA N Relapse
ISSUE : LUCKY13JULY1985 EDITOR,: BARRY SOLTZ (ALSO KNOWN AS BOZ ) : BILL PROE tEIMM,jilliZAI ALSO KNOWN AS BILL l Q?HER HELP : LESLIE WIMMER (ALSO KNOW N Tal LIE CONTRIBUTORS : BYRON COLEY, RICK LENNICK, MALCOL M MI?, ROBEA! MASCARO, KT LE E
1985 SUBURBAN RELAPSE . No material may be use d 1?ithout consent ; however consent will be gladl y given in most instances . Just ask first . pISTRIBUTION : Rough Trade, Toxic Shock, Dutc h at, Systematic, & anyone else we can con into giving us a shot . CHEAP AD RATES : $40 full page, $25 half, $20 quarte r WRITE US(we may even write back) : SUBURBAN RELAPS E ****** P .O . BOX 61090 6 N. MIAMI, FL . 3326 1 CK ISSUES FOR SALE : #2,5,6,70,9,10,1112 il .5' each p .p. or any 5 for it (a bargain) . COVER SHOT FROM RUSS MEYER'S MUDHONE Y

Howdy dudes! Here's another fab issue o f Suburban Relapse comin' at ya! A good variet y this time ; the main features include a bos s bitchin' interview with Russ Meyer ; a battle of the bands starrin' the Pandoras ; a vintage Cramps interview from 77' ; a chat wit h Maureen Tucker and her daughter, Kerry ; and all the usual whatchamacalits . Where else ca n you read about bit boobs & serious rock n ' roll in the same ma g azine? Creem? MR&R? Fl1nside? Tropical Depression? The Face? The answer is none of the above of course, caus e you're holdir' the answer in your sweat y little hands now . So we hone ya dig the craz y pica and prose over the next 40 pages . Have fur . OBITUARY : Flynns (6-81 to 3-85) . I don't care what anyone else says but I had some grea t times there and maybe you did too . VIDEOS dANTED : "Riot on Sunset Strip", "Gore roLre Gig s , "Chelsea Girls", any Waters excep t 'P . Flamingos' & "Female Trouble", " 'Motor Psycho", "Astro-Zombies", "Wild Angels", "Repulsion" (Polanski) "Freaks", also cool exnlotation films (R&R, gore, 60's biker flicks , etc . . etc . .), ,arious music videos (especiall y 60's nunk/esych . . R . Magoos, Standells, ol d Shindi gs, N .Y . Dolls on Midnight Snec . ETC . . . Send Your Lists! I have lots to trade so ge t in touch . Write Barry % Sublanse, POB 610906 , N .Mia ., F1 33261 . BANDS BEWARE: Be on the look-out for a characte r who goes by the name of Jello Biafra . He write s letters to bands trying to scam free vinyl unde r the nretense that he's the singer of a nonula r west coast Dunk rock band (although we haven' t seen any releases in ages) . Don't fall for thi s freeloaders game . . . make this creep pay !

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"The Cramps are making all of u s slightly elder bands experience pangs o f tasteless jealousy as they are enlisted by every tastemaker as THE COOLEST band of the hour, but even though we all thin k WE deserve it more (you have to keep your "sanity") THEY ARE THE COOL EST, I LOVE THE CRAMPS ." Kristian Hoffman (Mumps) (sorry pal JM ) Gee, it's real hard to write about a band like the Cramps (this is the firs t time I've ever taken more than one sho t at writing about anyone) (true!) . Sound wise they're somewhere between Rockabilly and psycosis, attitude wise they'r e every demented Rock'n'Roll maniac wh o hunts through bargain bins for Seed s albums and buys three copies of every Ramones 45 . You know the ones with Reg Presley posters on their walls, the ones who know that Rock Action was th e coolest guy in the Stooges. Really th e type of band we (you, me, everybody ) needs . Anyway, the first one I spoke to was Miriam Linna, the drummer . She's Finnish-Canadian and hates the Clash cu z they put down the U .S .A . (a real patriot ) and has been compared favorably to Moe Tucker (pound/pound/pound/crash!) . New Order Who do you hate ? Miriam Linna I hate most people. hate a lot of people . I hate Lester Bangs, I really hate him now cuz he ' s got a band . When I was doing that Patti Smith thing for Cream he was such an asshole asking me if I read this poet and that poet. I wanted to have fun and he told us we couldn ' t have fun . NO Gimme some of your song titles . ML "Sunglasses Afterdark," "Teen age Werewolf," "Don't Eat Off the Side walk," "I'm Cramped," "Love Me," Rid Krayola's "Hurricane Fighter Plane," th e Sonia' "Strychnine . " NO What are some of your influences ? ML I dunno, what do you mean influences ? NO I dunno, I ask everyone that an d they start reeling off dames while I thin k of another question . I don't have an y notes for this . Who made you wanna become a Rockstar?

NO I gotta question, what kind of groupies do you get ? ML Lux and Bryan get this reall y strange type of girl . Really normal typ e of girl, disco type girls . Ivy 's a crab, sh e doesn't talk to anybody and I'll talk to anybody I don't care . Most of our fans are just really fun kids . Fun they should be shot . (laughs) NO Fun, that's a great word . ML People are afraid to have fun anymore . NO I can't think of a question . I' m gonna ask a question that I asked Patt i last issue . Ummmmmmm . . . here's a good one . Do you ever hallucinate on stage ? ML Ha, ha . Yeah, I keep thinking I want all these things to happen to me . (discussion moves to her past, boring) NO You went to college ? ML I graduated ! NO Oh god, two college graduates interviewed . ( d iscussion moves to Rock's' Roll)

ML Cyril Jordan is the most fashion able person in the world . (New York , money, fame ) ML People are always saying "Isn't it fun to be in a cult band?" Well, w e fucking hate it ! NO Are your songs really fiftee n seconds long? ML No, they're about twenty seconds . We do about ten songs in a twenty minute set. Except "Surfin ' Bird," we do almost five minutes o f "Surf in' Bird ." When we do "Hurricane Fighter Plane" it goes on for a while cuz we don't know how to end it . Lux's favorite term for it is Rave-up . He's a Yardbirds fan . (Next victim was Lux Interior singer . lyricist-Yardbirds fan . He writes shit like "What color panties are you wearing ? And how long have you been wearin g them?" from "Subway and Desire ." ) New Order Describe your music . Lux Interior It's very violent, ver y simple, very crude, basic.

Page 6
NO Is your name short for Luxury Interior ? LI I guess so, yeah, I guess it is . NO What's your message to th e youth of America ? LI (long silence) Such a heavy one! I don't know . I guess it would be to wipe out everything that ' s happened for the last ten years. NO Wipe out the Stooges? LI No, we won't wipe out th e Stooges, let's wipe out Jethro TuII . NO Say something funny. LI (long silence) I can't . NO Who do you hate ? LI Here's my chance to get even . I hate all the people on the New York rock scene who are treating us like we're some kinda shit . They know who they are . NO What ' s your first hit single gonna be ? LI "I Was a Teenage Werewolf," that ' s autobiographical, that really happened to me . NO Say something about (cringe ) "Punk Rock . " LI My favorite Punk-Rock band i s the Thirteenth Floor Elevators . No the y were more psycedelic . The Shadows of Night are my favorite punk group . I als o like the Sonics a lot. If there is such a thing as punk rock today then we're it. I wouldn ' t call us that . Anything that is simple Rock'n'Roll now gets called pun k rock. We're punk in the sense that we never played instruments before this . NO How did you choose the instru ments you were going to play when you formed a band? One-potato-two-potato ? LI Well, Ivy always knew that sh e wanted to play guitar, Me and Ivy wer e the first ones to have the idea for th e group so she got to play guitar . Then we went to Bryan and he wanted to play guitar too, we tried to talk him into playing bass but he wouldn 't do that so we figured we ' d have two guitars, then we needed a drummer and Miriam walked by and we said "Hey she looks cool" and she said she'd always wanted to be a drummer . Me, I always wanted to throw myself around onstage and break mikestands . Originally I was going to pla y guitar but I couldn't dance as much that way . NO Anything unusual about you guys we should know? LI Practically everything . We're a very original band . I'd say we have th e intensity of the Stooges onstage . Without batting an eyelash I'd say that . We' re a really violent band . We don't insinuate , we do it! We don't talk about Rock'n ' ~~-- Roll, we do it . The most Stooges-lik e thing about this group beyond the inten sity is Bryan. He's from Detroit and has

seen the Stooges no less than 500 times . He has all of Iggy's moves down pat, he' s beyond Iggy . He puts his legs in lotus position and runs around the stage on his knees . He does one hand stands with his legs locked like that, he runs around on his hands . On extra special occasions he will jump into the audience and bark like a dog but that's a special treat onc e in a while . NO Why do people in New York hate you ? LI Some people in New York hate us because they feel we haven't paid our

Page 7

N . 1 all the new bands died out d o ou think the Cramps will survive ? LI Yes, we will survive . (Next came Ivy , a Rock-a`billy guitar plow and the one who =named the group) . NO Who do you hate ? 1R I don't think I have the energy to hate anybody . NO Who do you like? What bands ? IR Ramon's, Suicide . I like a lot of bonds . No, not slot of bands . I like New York bands. NO What are you going to do wit h your money when you're a star ? 1R I was just in this store and I ound this rubber raincoat that feels like skin that I wish I had the money to buy . It's really thin rubber and it feels lik e skin . I always wondered why peopl e had rubber fetishes . NO Where are you originally from ? IR Northern California . NO What brought you to New York ? IR I wanted to be in a band . To form a band .

one was guitarist Bryan regory the one with tatoos and a preference fo r older women . ) New Order Who do you hate ? Bryan Gregory (begins growling like an animal) Ha, Ha. Hate is such a strong word . I guess I hate the man who invented Yellow Pages. NO What would you do if you had one day left to live ? BG Find some way of getting a hold of ummmmmmm, Elizabeth Taylor . NO Who would you like to i.e dead ? BG Dead? (growls) . Joey Bishop) I don't mean that, that's just the firs t name that came into my head . NO What do you do when you're bored ? BG Probably bite my nails . NO Say something funny off th e top of your head . BG Off the top of my head? I can' t remember if it's the top of my head . Hello? (growls), I want to say somethin g funny . I can't. NO If an old lady dropped her purse with money in it would you keep th e money or give it back? BG I'd give it beck . NO Can you read books? BG Yes, I haven't read a book in a while, but I enjoy a good book . NO Okay, we'll wrap it up with this one . What was the nicest thing anyon e has ever done for you? BG I guess my mother, she gav e birth to me. As I write this, the Cramps are preparing for the ' Big 'Time . I can't tell ya anymore than that except by the tim e you read this you should start preparin g yourself for a Rock'n'Roll Lobotomy Cramps style)

Page 8

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Russ Meye r
Besides being an A scan institution , Russ Meyer is one of my heroes . John Water s has called him the "Eisenstein of sex films" . Ever since I saw Faster Pussycat Kill Kil l I've wanted to see everything he's ever don e and have spent endless hours trying to trac k down video tapes of his movies . His films feature fast satirical one-liners, quick scree n cuts, and close-ups of big busted voluptuou s women . They deal with sex and violence, ar e real slices of Americana, and have a lot t o say about our sexual mores, hangups, and custom s More importantly, they ' re extremely entertainin g and funny . The Immoral Mr . Teas was one of his firs t in 1959 and was also one of the first America n films to push nudity to its limits . Althoug h important historically, it ' s not a very goo d film . With Lorna and Mud Honey in 1964, Rus s Meyer had developed his exploitative sens e to a fine art form . Faster Pussycat Kill Kil l followed in 1966 and like all his films i s extremely popular today . It's about 3 stripper s with ' large breasts who drive fast sportscar s and kill men . The girls are tough, smart, voluptuous and make a great gang of villans . Thi s was followed by the classic sex comedies Commo n Law Cabin, Vixen, and Good Morning and Goodby e (which entire dialogue consists of one-liners ) all of which are great . In 1969, 20th Century Fox became intereste d in Meyer, who went on to produce for them th e greatest motion picture in history, Beyon d the Valley of the Dolls . Words can ' t do th e film justice as I've seen it no less than 1 5 times . It's about an all-girl rock'n'roll band , the Carrie Nations, who get mixed up in th e decadence of Hollywood in the late 60's . The y fuck, get fucked, drop acid, become rich an d famous, party with the Strawberry Alarm Clock , kill, get killed . . .well, you get the idea . After an attempt at a more serious film, Th e Seven Minutes, Meyer went back to his own successful style of comedy with Super Vixen, Up , and Beneath the Valley of the Ultra Vixen s in the 70 ' s . He ' s currently working on a ne w project, The Breast of Russ Meyer, which promises to be a 9 hour semi-autobiographica l marathon of supreme titillation . Also worth mentioning about Meyer (sinc e we are primarily a music fanzine) is the interes t his films hold for a lot of today's hip musi c makers . Best, known is the Cramps' cover o f " Faster Pussycat Kill Kill " . Redd Kross feature d a version of " Look On Up at the Bottom " from Beyond the Valley of the Dolls on their " Bor n Innocent " LP . The Bangles are also Meyer ' s fans . They occasionally play gigs in L .A . a s the Carrie Nations . Vick i ' s CB handle is " Vixe n " and Susanna once told me that Beyond the Valle y of the Dolls is also her favorite flick o f all time . So without further ado, here's th e man, the myth, the legend . . . BI !O'' Y v PHOTOS g RUSS MEYER & MANNY DIE' ,

Kitten Natividad of Beneath th e Valley of the Ultra Vixens .

ATalk

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Russ

Meye r

Q : Where did you find most of the girls i n your films ? A: Well, one girl recommends another . I g o way back to being a titti-boom photographe r in the 50's . I've always had a wife with a big chest and there's something about havin g a lady with a big chest that will attract othe r ladies . Like a bee to honey . They're hard t o find . . .there's very few girls that meet m y standards . Q : Was The Immoral Mr . Teas one of your first ? A : That was the first nudie . That was th e first film that I co-produced with a man b y the name of Peter A . DeCenzie . He was a burlesque entrepreneur . I made a lot of film s beforehand . . .military films during WW II . I did a lot of films for Standard Oil, Souther n Pacific Railroad . I had a very big backgroun d in film before I made Mr . Teas .

Q : How does it feel to have had Vixen viewe d by the Supreme Court ? A: I don't believe it was reviewed by th e Supreme Court . Justice Burger, which is a lon g story . . .you see, the film was severely prosecuted in the city of Cincinnati, Ohio . The y had, at that time, the Citizens for Decen t Literature and Vixen was busted . We spent ove r a quarter of a million dollars defending it , but it lost in every court . . .right up to th e Ohio Supreme Court . An application was mad e by the forces of good, Charles Keating, t o have the court come up with a definite answe r in regards to pornography and what it represented . Whether they saw it or not I don' t know, but I do know, which I have framed, a marvelous statement by Chief Justice Burger who denied the application on the part of th e Citizens for Decent Literature to ask for a definite opinion about Vixen so they coul d prosecute us further . . .hopefully to put u s in the slammer, the whole works . So it's a long answer to your question . . .but I feel ver y proud to know that they did look at it . Q : Was The SevenMinutes an attempt to make

a statement about your court ordeals ? A: No, I was conned into doing the film . See , Brown of Zannek and Brown were in charge o f the studio where I made Beyond the Valley o f the Dolls . 1 wanted to make a picture calle d The Final Steal which was a real gut-pulling , I love that kind of violence, film . . .they talke d me out of it by saying that you are someon e who should make a statement . The trouble i s they insisted I make it R rated so I couldn' t put in the usual degree of tits and simulate d fucking . The film just didn't do as good a s Beyond the Valley of the Dolls which was a screaming success and had an X rating . I sa y X, we mean a MPAA X which is a soft, limber , not the hard kind of pornography which I fin d tedious and boring to watch . . . Q : Is that why you haven't done any hardcor e type films ? A : I don't believe in it . It doesn't tur n me on . There's a lot of reasons . . .economics . . .i t wouldn't be playing in the theaters my film s play in . I wouldn't have classic films lastin g for many, many years . The girls with the gian t tits wouldn't do it . They have other thing s to do with their assets . My jokes wouldn ' t work . You gotta have some feeling for a film . I want to be entertained . Q : A lot of the women in your movies are portrayed as intelligent and they exploit me n where the men are often shown as clumsy an d not too bright . Any reason for this ? A : Of course I like big breasted women . I like smart women . That's why I suppose the libbers have layed off me cause the women ar e portrayed as the superior beings . The men are klutzy, an I .Q . of 37 and they use them . I like that kind of lady . An agressive lady . On a personal level I like a sex partner that ' s extremely agressive . I'm currently involve d with two women . . .giant tits . . .they're married and agressive as hell . It's wonderful . You don ' t have to go through with that preliminar y shit . That's my turn on . . .my obsession . Q : Do you have any favorites out of your films ? A : Just sequences . That ' s one of the thing s that makes my present project The Breast o f Russ Meyer, which is 9 hours . . .it's a sel f analysis of myself . . .a lot of new women . . . Q : Do you think you'll have problems distributing a 9 hour film to the theaters ? A : I'm not worried . See, I'm wealthy enoug h so I don't have to worry . I'm doing it fo r me . It ' s too long for theater . It ' ll go i n festivals, retrospectives . . .but I'm makin g a film that will last a hundred years . Ho w many people get to write their song as to thei r life? It ' s an unending project . Q : A lot of your films take place in smal l town America where men drive pick-ups and wor k construction jobs . Any significance behin d that ? A : I work with a small crew . . .I like to make a small picture of circumstance . Pick-up truck s are therefor the reason that automobiles d o indeed date motion pictures . I like the whol e idea of dealing with farmers . As one German

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very aptly put it in reviewing Faster Pussyca t Kill Kill . . .he said, "Meyer's films are ful l of man-killing women and immoral farmers . " It's always broke me up . I like that kind o f thing . You drive out of town, then you're ou t in the desert . . .I thought of the desert caus e its healthful and I feel invigorated . I always like a remote area where I can work withou t a lot of publicity and people knowing wha t I'm doing . Q : Are you going to be re-releasing Moto r Psycho on a video cassette soon ? A : No . It'll be in a nice condensed version . See, the bulk of The Breast of Russ Meyer consists of 23 films I've made . They're compresse d in a Reader ' s Digest style . . .compressed i n the proper continuity . . .so that ' s my plan . Q : Did you ever figure back in the 60's you r films would be so popular that they would b e playing on college campuses today ? A : College campuses are a minor thing to th e theaters . The greatest exposure is the theaters where for example Vixen holds the record i n Elgin Ohio . . .58 weeks in a drive-in . Thi s city had a population of only 14,000 people . The big thing now is video . They do sell ver y aggressively . Q : Are you familiar with a lot of the ne w rock'n'roll bands who have done songs fro m your movies ? A : I know that Pussycat thing has been on e of them . Q : There's also this band, Redd Kross who did "Look On Up From the Bottom" from Beyon d the Valley of theDolls . There's another band called the Bangles, a girl band who sometime s play advertised as the Carrie Nations . . . A : Really ? Q : Yeah, and their fans know that they ar e really the Bangles . A : Why would they want to concel their true identity ? Q : Just to play a show in a small club fo r fun . A : That's real interesting to know that . I' d like to go down and meet with them sometime . Q : Yeah, they ' re big fans . A : It shows the longevity of these films . . .th e fact that they have hung around longer tha n films costing fantastic amounts of money . Q : How did you get along with John Water s when he interviewed you for his book ? A : We're real good friends . He's a real champion of the films . Q : You've seen his films then ? A : Oh,yes, I'm real familiar with John . Q : Getting back to the censorship thing we touched on earlier . I noticed a lot of you r earlier films had a moral statement toward s the end of the film . Did you do that deliberatel y to differentiate your films from being considere d pornography? That's one of the things the Suprem e Court had suppositively said . . . A : Again you go back to the Supreme Court . I'm not sure who said that . Remember there' s a lot of state courts . It's called social re deeming significance . One must be wary of the

activity, in Indianapolis, Minneapolis and now Los Angeles in which the forces of conservatism are endeavoring to put on the dockets a law that has to do with aggression agains t women . One of the main things they take umbrag e with is the hardcore pornography . If this thing passes it can have far reaching effects jus t on R rated movies . Everyone's a little concerned about it . But getting back to your question ; we haven't had censorship in this country, ' we've had persecution, prosecution but no t censorship . The last vestige of censorshi p disappeared in Maryland where the grandmothe r used to review films for some time . My purpos e in moralizing in Lorna for example is tha t people can sex it up, have a great time, b e adulterous, cheating, but in the end someon e had to pay the Piper because you were sin . It didn't work though in Ohio (referring t o Vixen) . We put it in not so much cause we though t the film would be prosecuted, we put in th e hijacking of the airplane, and the black draf t evader . . . Q : and the Communist . . . A: . . .but it didn't work in Ohio . They thre w it aside . Actually it was put in to make the film 70 minutes long otherwise it would've been 60 minutes long . Q : Out of all your films do you have any personal favorites ? A : No, not really . I was working with a thin g for Playboy, Sex in the Cinema, last night . I just picked out some scenes to back up m y views in an interview last night . I don't reall y have one film that's my favorite . Q : Out of all the Hollywood actresses toda y if you could have your choice of one to appea r in one of your films, who would you choose ? A : Yes, I would like to redo MyLittle Chickadee and I would like to have Jonathan Winters pla y the part of W .C . Fields . Charles Napier i s the midnight bandit . . . Q: . . .and Mae West ' s part ? A : Yes, we would use Dolly Parton . I think I could really make a smash out of that thing . Jonathan Winters, Dolly Parton, and Charle s Napier . He ' s the guy with 7 more teeth tha n Burt Lancaster . He's the heavy, the sadisti c cop in Super Vixens . All jaw . He's the kin d of guy who could smile out of one side of hi s face and snarl out of the other . It would b e

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RUSS MHYBR'S i

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a hell of a thing, but I'm afraid I couldn' t get them to do it, particularly Dolly . She' d be marvelous . She's the only one who reall y qualifies, if you could imagine why . Q : What about the music in your films ? A : The first film was Teas and that was don e by a guy named Ed Lakso . I'm a fan of parody , as you know, and there's a lot of places wher e you can use classical stuff to good advantage . I like Dixieland and I like a lot of Nazi music . It's very reminiscent of most college anthems . I'm a fan of the Glen Miller kind of thing . It's a real dukes mixture of music . . .classical , Nazi, Glenn Miller, Armstrong, a lot of nois y sound affects, generally produced by myself . For example, for penetration noises in Beneath the Valley of the Ultra Vixens, 1 used farts and played them backwards . They're marvelous sounds . Outrageous! It works great . It's lik e a cartoon cause I look at my films as cartoons . Q : What about Martin Borman? How ' d you eve r come up with him? A : Borman was the one Nazi that no-one coul d really say was dead . He was the one Nazi who always kept himself under wraps . So, Marti n Borman struck me as, because of the fact tha t he he had been missing and I had always bee n fascinated by the whole prism of Nazism . . .see , German is a good klutzy language to deal with and its amazing the way the Germans find i t amusing . . .so the German thing is an ongoing proposition . I regret that the man that playe d Martin Borman has passed away . He was a ver y personal friend of mine who has played Nazi s in innumerable films as well as in the pictur e Casablanca . . .Henry Rowland . He was also i n Sahara . Q : A lot of your people seem really loyal . They appear in film after film . A : Well, I use Stuart Lancaster . . .the dirt y old man you know . . .generally kind of a sicko . Q : He is ? A : Well, not in real life . . .well, maybe he is in real life . He's been a regular . He' s always generally in a bad way, a cripple, h e hates women . . .or he can be as in the case o f Good Morning andGoodbye . . .where he lost hi s shot there and it's regained by the wiz wit h Haji out in the boonies . Q : Then in Mud Honey he played the kind ol d man . A : Yeah, the kind old man . He's had a varie d career with me . A good actor . Q : Do you keep up with a lot of the olde r actresses ? A : Well they kind of fade away . Recently Alain a Capri, the big chesty brunette in Good Mornin g and Goodbye, she was a school teacher in L .A . , took a leave of absence to be in one of my

Erica Gavin and Edy Williams fro m Beyond the Valley of theDolls . films . She married an assistant D .A . in Santa Monica and I think she has a couple of kids . She had a bunch of us over for dinner one nigh t about a year ago . I keep up with them . We occasionally have a reunion . A couple of them I' m particularly fond of and close to . . . Q : Anything as to what Erica Gavin's doin' ? A : No, she's become kind of a recluse . She' s the manager of a very successful clothing boutique . . .but she's thin as hell . We recentl y had a dinner ; she was very subdued . She, a t one time really represented to me, not tha t she had the best body or biggest tits but sh e had a real animalistic attitude about sex . . .a t least that's the way she portrayed it on the screen . . .whether she was personally like that , I don't know . I always said all things equal , Erica Gavin had them all beat . Q : Anything as to Haji ? A : Hail's an ongoing friend . She's a marvelous lady . She still looks great . . .she looks as good as she looked the first time I used he r in MotorPsycho . . . Q : Would you say there's a particular kin d of person who enjoys your films ? A : No, I got orders from two different women today simply because their husbands like th e films with the big tits . I asked one of the m and she said she had great big tits and I sai d maybe we should get together and do some filming . Q : I know a lot of girls who enjoy your films a lot . A : Yeah, more and more I find women reall y caring for the pictures . I suppose part o f it has to do with the fact that the men ar e such dummies and the women are pretty muc h in charge . . .If you stop to try to figure out why you like a film . . .if you're slam-bange d with a lot of good entertainment . . .that's al l the really counts .

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Ma n n y D i e z I n t e r v i ew Manny Diez was involved with Russ durin g his years at 20th Century Fox . He was the assist ant to the producer for Beyond the Valley o f theDolls and The Seven Minutes, among other things . First and foremost he's a screen-write r and currently has a number of screen-plays read y for production including one that's set to be shot in Miami next month . I got his number from Russ . . .imagine my surprise to find out tha t he lives in the next apartment building to mine ! All this time we've been neighbors . Anyhow , he was real helpful and was happy to talk t o me about Russ and the films they worked togethe r on at 20th Century Fox . Here's the results o f one of our conversations . . . Q : What exactly did you do for Beyond the Valley of the Dolls ? A : Well, Russ called me in when he had the first draft of the screen play and he felt ther e were some changes he wanted to make in tha t script . He and I worked together on those change s and during the actual course of the productio n he discovered there were other things that neede d to be written for . . . I also served as the dialogue director on that film . I was with hi m from the very beginning of that shoot at 20th Century Fox . It was a big kick for him caus e I remember the very first day he walked on th e set . . .you have to remember that Russ was a ma n who was used to working With a crew of mayb e 4 and he walked on the set at 20th Century Fo x and there's a huge major crew there and he sai d "I love it! I . can get used to this real easy! " Q : Who came up with most of the one-liners . for the film ? A : I think him and Roger Ebert . . .My main contribution is I did the epilogue . . .I also did th e montage at the beginning of the film . . . Q : the party sequence ? A : I did the introductions for the party sequence . . .when Z-Man walks the young girl in and who introduces all the different main characters . There's also a montage where they'r e comparing Los Angeles to something else an d there's a very quick series of shots . . . Q : right after the scene with the band ? A : Exactly . That's a scene I worked on an d wrote . Q : You also worked on The Seven Minutes, too ? A : Yes, but I ' d like to interject a note her e that I will never forget cause when I was a t 20th Century Fox with Russ . . .he had a 3 pictur e deal with them . . .and he wanted to follow Beyon d the Valley oftheDolls with a property called TheFinal Steal ._He owned the book and 20t h wanted to assign it to "a known writer" an d he said "I would like to give Manny Diez a shot at writing the screenplay" and Richard Zanneck was not too thrilled with that idea and Rus s insisted to give me a chance . He really stuc k his neck out for me and I'll never forget he did that for me . Unhappily, a couple of thing s happened . . .one of them was that in their infinite wisdom, 20th Century Fox decided that the nex t film was going to be The Seven Minutes . He di d not want to do that film . . .it was lacking i n action . As it turned out after we did The Seve n Minutes there was a power struggle at 20th Centur y and Mr . Zanneck was out and TheFinal Stea l was shelved and it was never made . Q : Russ didn't seem pleased with The Seve n Minutes . A : No, he didn't want to do it at all . It wa s a very talky film . . .not his kind of film a t all . It wasn't as much fun as Beyond theValley of theDolls . This was a film he didn't wan t to do and he was absolutely right in his judgemen t and he knew what would work for him and wha t wouldn't . Q : Were there a lot of restrictions on yo u guys at 20th Century Fox ? A : Not that I recall . Russ had a fairly free hand because he was so successful . . .that's wh y they hired him . They saw the numbers of hi s films . . .I think it was Vixen . . .what it cost

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to make and what the grosses were and they sai d " My God . We gotta hire this guy . " The pressure s I think really began when it got the X . We were shooting at the same time as Myra Breckenridg e was shooting . We got the first X and they go t the second . The preview night . . .there was som e very heavy criticism of the film because I don' t think Hollywood had seen a film like it an d didn't know quite what to make of it . . .and there' s a lot of people who haven't laid eyes on Rus s who assume he's a filthly, illiterate pornographer which, as you know, he's not . So som e of the reviews were less than kind, so I thin k 20th Century Fox got a little nervous, but th e film made a lot of money so it didn't bothe r them . Q : So you got to work with all the differen t actors and actresses in Beyond the Valley o f the Dolls ? A : Yes cause I was the dialogue director . . .we had a totally unknown cast in the film . We ha d several actors and actresses that were in othe r films for Russ cause he's a very loyal person . He likes to use people he's worked with previously . Haji was in the film . Q : Really? I didn't spot her . A : She was the girl with the black body make up who danced in one of the party scenes . Eric a had a big part and Chuck Napier . . .Harrison Pag e was in Vixen . . .They're good actors . . ine party scene is intriguing ' Oecause Edy
ILL! KILL! FASTER, PUSSYCAT! KILL! KILL! FASTER, PUSSYCAT! USS MEYER AuociaHi p,, g irl ...

Th e SWEETEST A'/T TENS Have Th e SHARPEST CLAWS ., It used to drive John nuts . Other than tha t there were no . major problems with the cast caus e they were all unknowns . No egos . Q : Any wierd things happen on the set ? A : No . . .My most vivid recollection which isn' t what you're looking for is how hard Russ worke d on the film . Russ is annoyed when they have things called weekends and holidays . He woul d work 24 hours a day if you let him . His rea l life person is 180 away from people who don' t know Russ . I was there and girls would sen d him letters and I saw some of these and th e photographs they included of themselves san s clothing . . ."I will do anything to be in your film" and Russ never ever took advantage o f that . He was there to moake a movie . There wa s just no kidding around on that set . He put s out 100% and he expects you to put out 100% . The whole thing was just a lot of fun . It wa s real neat to work for Russ . The two years I spent with Russ were two of the best years o f my life . Q : It seems to me that someone like Russ Meye r hasn ' t gotten the recognition that he deserves . I guess a lot of critics don't understand him . A : Well, he ' s chosen to make films that aren ' t mainstream type films, but if you look at the m they are totally professionally done . . . To order video tapes of Russ Meyers movies writ e to RM Films International, POD 3748, Hollywood , CA 90028 . You'll be glad you did .

Williams . . .who was one of the stars of the fil m and was the prototype of a Hollywood starle t and had done a lot of small films . . .Edy wa s used to being the most beautiful girl on the set and Edy arrived for the party sequence whic h was peopled by 50 to 70 of the most absolutel y gorgeous females you could ever see in you r life . . .it was a shock . Q : Was anyone particularly difficult to wor k with? A : There were professinal differences between John LaZar who played Z-Man and Michael Blodget t who played Lance Rock . John was a classicall y trained actor who believed in getting the line s down and saying them exactly the same way tak e after take . Michael was the exact opposite . He's a very intuitive actor and you were ver y lucky to get him to say the same thing twice .

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Once upon a time in Los Angeles, ther e was a foxy girl band called the Pandoras wh o n regularly played all the cool music havens i ut town . Their notoriety started to spread througho l y caught the ears of Gre g d the city and eventual Shaw, president of Bomp Records who was impresse / by their uncompromising 60's influenced punk/bob into recordin g psych roots . He coaxed the girls 4 song debu t and the result was an excellent EP that was followed by an equally hot long- player, "It's About Time" . n in ' But just as the girls ' fame startedhappe ' trouble was brewi n ' in the ranks which resulted d ' in two . Lead vocalist an in the band splitin ~~ra~ ;ar P .mla Pierre left to form a new , Pan

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doras while the other three girls (Gwynne, Bambi , g and Casey) decided they also had a good thin couple of new replacement s goin ' and recruited a up to the presen t themselves .Which all leads us e and the greatest rock'n'roll battle since th e early 70's when Frank Marino used to challeng x ' s Mike Pinera to see who would be heir to Hendri was before most of our reader throne . But .that was also before Wrestlemani a . It ship ' s time m So what I propose is as follows : a tag tea match between both bands to determin e g wrestlin . Boy Georg e who will keep the Pandoras name Interior th e .Announcer and Lux could be the d live on close d referee . It'l be broadcaste over the worl d circuit TV to punk clubs

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where viewers will pay 50C to see this medi a event . It'll be the biggest thing since Buddy Holly went gay . So, until I can convince the WWF of my idea, I put together this instead ; an interview with both opposing sides, represented in th e form of Paula Pierce and Gwynne Kelly . I inter viewed Paula first, who had no knowledge as to my intentions and to her I must apologize, so you might want to throw her a few extra points

as a handicap . I then arranged an intervie w with Gwynne and explained what I had planned and that I had just finished talking with Paula . I didn't need to say anything else cause sh e was eager, very eager to talk and that's jus t what we did . Anyhow, I'm not about to pick sides , so we'll leave it up to you, dear readers, t o decide . . .is it Pandoras #1 or Pandoras #2?? ? Send in your votes now . . .don't delay!! !

is cc guys Q: I A: C There That ' are i Q: P A : Is Ther e the E and g girl s gir l Q: A A: 6 ban d musi c out .

Q : How did the Pandoras form ? I was just in little bands that played aroun d .little garage bands . . .I started the Pandora s then cause of all the music I listened to . . .al l the 60's garage music and stuff . . . Q : How did you get into that type of musi c causeyouu're_probabl_y not that old ? A : I heard it off of "Pebbles" and stuff lik e that . Q : Were you involved in the original L .A . pun k scene . . .bands like the Weirdos . . . A : I used to go around and see bands like tha t when I was real young . Q : Well, how old are you then ? A : Twenty-one . Q : What about the break-up of the origina l band ? A : It was just like these chicks wanted t o do more metal, you know . . .I wanted to keep playing what we were playing already . . .so everybod y kind of went their own way . So I got new members . Q : So both of you are using the same name . Can we expect a court battle as to who own s the rights to the name ? A : Well, I don ' t know . . .Gwynne says she own s it, but I don ' t think she had any right to g o file for it . I have just as much right to i t cause I wrote all the songs and stuff . Q : They got kind of vicious in the MRR intervie w saying you stole your songs from other songs . MN NW NIA N1 A NE NM UE EW MN Mi MU !

A : Yeah . They got 'em all wrong, too . She sai d "Cry in My Room" was by the Morning Rain or something and it's by the fucking Rockin' Ramrods . She named all these songs that were wrong . She said "Things You Do" . . .that's by the Morning After . . .she said it was by the Reasons Why . She's totally mixed up . . .She wasn't into that kind of music that much . . .she just happene d to be around . . .a girl who could play an instrumen t . . .I kind of knew her and she said, "Let's star t a band . " Q : So, you started the band ? A : Yeah, cause it was all my ideas and every thing . I found the other two girls . Q : What about the new girls in the band . . .ar e they from other bands ? A : No, they've never been in bands before . . . they're really good though . . .they can handl e their instruments . Q : Tell us about your battles with El Duc e at the Cathay . . . A : He used to try to say sexist remarks t o tF y to get us all worried and stuff, but w e didn't act like regular scared women . . .we acted like agressive women . . .I don't remember some of the shit we said, but we put him in his plac e . . .We said sexist things back to him . . .he sai d something about us wearing tampons . . .it wa s funny . Q : What about reactions from guys in the audience? A : A lot of guys go and dig us . It's mostl y guys . . .there's some girls who can go and relate , 'but I'd say 1/8 of the audience is girls, whic h
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<,Ull OU UR ME MM is cool . The rock'n'roll audience is basicall y guys anyway . Q : I wonder why that is . . . A : Cause it ' s mainly cool, agressive music . There's not too many kinds of girls into it . That's why males can appreciate us . . .girls tha t are into rockin' out . Q : Any girl bands you're influenced by ? A : Nah . I don't like any girl bands . Not really . There were no really all-girl bands back i n the 60's to be influenced by . I like guy musi c and guy singers the way they growl and scream . . . girls are too pretty and wimpy . There ' s som e girl bands now that are pretty good . Q : Anyone in particular ? A : When we toured . . .in Maine there was a gir l band that was also really influenced by garag e music, the Brewd . . .they were cool . They rocke d out . Q : How about the Bangles ? A : Well, the Bangles used to be good when the y first started out . . .they were never garage . . .they were like a tight 60's influenced pop band . . .like the Turtles . They were good at what they wer e doing, then they just became like every othe r band . . .a little more laid back . Q : What about all the new punk, psych bands ? A : I don't like Plan 9 . They're not garag e to me . . .they're just a bunch of fat guys . I like the Chesterfield Kings . I like the Morlocks , Gravedigger V . . .I love the Fuzztones and th e Vipers from New York . . .I guess the Morlocks are really the best from out here in Californi a cause they rock really hard . . .they have a lo t of fuzz and stuff . . . Q : What about movies that have influenced you . . . A : I love Riot on SunsetStrip . . .all the beac h party movies ., .I don't like Frankie and Annette . . they're too clean cut . Q : Motorcycle movies . . .Hotrods toHell . . . A : Yeah, those are the ones that are cool . The one with "Blues Theme" in it . The ones wit h motorcycle gangs are cool . The ones that have rats in it . . .Psych Out is really cool . I lik e Its aBikini World especially . . .that's kin d of early but it doesn't have Frankie and Annett e in it . Q : How did you get involved with Bomp and Greg Shaw? A : 1 knew Greg Shaw from going to shows an d stuff and hangin' out in the early days . . .lik e you said, the punk scene . . .I never got involve d with him until I had the Pandoras . He came an d saw us and stuff . . .after awhile we were gonna do a song on his "Battle of the Garages 3" whic h we did . . .when we were in the studio we were having a lot of fun, so we just said, fuck it , let's go for the album . . .so we did it .
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i is Greg gonna still do it? A : No, we're not associated with Greg anymore . We ' re not on Bomp anymore . We got some big companies that are interested in us now like Elektra and stuff . . .and Capital . . .EMI . . . Q : Do you think you're gonna have the freedo m you have now if you sign to a big company ? A : Uh huh . Yeah . Q : Why is that? . . .cause a lot of bands lose that freedom . . . A : Cause we ' re girls . We do what we want . We can make it accessible to a wider audience . Raw and raunchy, but better recordings . There' s no way they'll ever be interested in anythin g done by Greg Shaw . He never captured our sound . We sound much rawer and harder and raunchie r live than we ever sounded on record . . .We'r e doing some demos now . . .we're getting to know the studio better . . .we don't really have to compromise our style to make us more pop . . . probably more of the direction we're headin g is like "Satisfy" . . . Q : What would you say you're favorite 60' s garage bands are . . .your all-time favorites ? A : Oh my god . . .it's hard to narrow it down . . . I could say all the popular ones like the Chocolat e Watchband, the Seeds, the Standells . . .I coul d say all of them are my favorites cause the y had a majority of good songs ; but then als o I think that the real raw, disgusting ones like the Humane Society are the best . Maybe the y only had one good song but what they had wa s the best . . .god there's so many . . .I think the Standells had most of the good songs . . .Blues Magoos had a lot of good songs . . .but I lik e the real sick obscure stuff . . .off of "Back From the Grave" . . .stuff like that . . .Larry and th e Blue Notes . . .I like the raunchier stuff th e better . . .the more screaming and fuzz, the better . Q : O .K . Any message for the youth of America ? A : Oh boy . These spur of the moment question s are hard . . .that's a hard one . . .Buy our records!! ! Buy our records!! ! 'ma I= so'

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Q : Who comes up with all the record sleeves 1 cause I think they're really cool ? A : It's kind of like our own ideas . The firs t one Gweynne thought of . . .she designed the whol e "Moxie" EP . . .which I don't like that pictur e of me very much . . .it doesn't look like me a t all . I like the one on the album . . .Bambi an d Casey look so heavy metal . They don't fit i n with that kind of style at all . . . Q : Do you think it's important to fit in with a particular style of dress ? A : The image is very important cause you can' t have two in the band who look totally opposite from the other two . We all look pretty much the same now . We agreed on the bikini thin g on " Hot Generation " . Q : Who did the original on that ? A : The Sunsets . They're an Australian band . It's from a surfing movie . Actually the B-side of that single, "You Don't Satisfy", I thin k that's like my best song recorded . Q : Were you satisfied with your other releases ? A : No, not the way Greg Shaw mixed them . I like the recording, kind of . . .but Greg Sha w mixed them like kind of weird with vocals too loud or something . . .the drums weren't loud enoug h . . .like on "Melvin" it came out awful . Q : Are you gonna produce yourselves now o r e!_lk

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Q : How did the Pandoras form ? A : Let ' s see . . .way back in ' 83 . . .Paula wa s in this band called the Direct Hits which wa s also called Action Now . . .she was in these powe r pop bands for a long time and then she had thi s boyfriend who was in the Unclaimed . . .she's one of those girls who lets her boyfriend do th e thinking for her . . .so she wanted to form a sid e band and she asked Casey . . .she wanted me to play lead guitar, but I had just gotten a Farfisi a organ from one of the guys in the Last, so I said how about organ cause all the great 60' s bands had organ . So I played organ and rhythm n guitar . We had a girl named Debbie playing bas s but we knew right from the start she wouldn' t be a permanent member because she was everythin g

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Page 18 opera Anyway, there was this guy named Gary . -1 Paula wanted him to manage the band . . .see, after . ' ' I had befriended him and introduced him to the band . . .what he did was, he went behind our backs, the three of us (Gwynn, Casey, Bambi) and conspired with Paula to replace myself and Bambi in the band even though I thought we were kind of an important part of the band . They wanted to keep Casey and just replace the two of us . . . Well, another thing that culminated in a big argument was I had gotten us a booking with Agent Orange on the 4th of July and all of a sudden Paula said that since our record's out we can ' t play any shitty gigs like that . . .playing underneath Agent Orange and I said, "What ar e you talking about? Agent Orange have more tha n one record out and are very well known in thi s town ." Granted we're getting somewhere, bu t we ' re not the Go Go ' s yet . Q : I heard you had wanted to go metal . . . A : No, of course not . The only thing abou t the music we would get into arguments abou t was Paula wanted to do a more unmelodic 60' s garage thing and we wanted to do more melodi c stuff like "Come on Down to My Boat" . . .I didn' t want to modernize the sound at all . I didn' t

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Gwynne feelin' romantic with El Duce ! 'We Love El Duce! ' you wouldn't want in a musclan . . .anyw` we were always looking for another bass playe r and finally this girlfriend of mine named Bamb i came back from living in Europe and I had known that she played guitar and I said hey wann a play bass in my band? So Bambi said sure an d she was in and Debbie out . Q : Were you involved in any other bands befor e the Pandoras yourself ? A : No, not really, but I sang with the Descendents once . I had wanted to but I didn' t have a car till I was 18 . Anyway, when we go t Bambi we really started taking off . Then righ t !after the album came out . . .do you want to kno w why the band broke up ? Q : Sure, it was my next question anyway . A : This is kind of painful . . .first of all Paul a started to become real hard to work with . She !would refuse to go to practice unless someone drove her and once she got there she would refus e to reherse . She would hang out in the corne r making out with her boyfriend or playing with her fuzz effects and stuff . She wanted to d o more and more songs that sounded alike and weren' t very melodic . . .I mean I like 60's garage musi c and I always have but I'm more into the mor e melodic stuff like the Blues Magoos, the Castaways . I mean I like the song "Why" but she'd brin g lin three songs that sounded exactly like it . It was turning into "Louie Louie", the roc k Gwynne jumns around and gets hair in her face ! want to switch from farfisa to synthezise r (laughing) . See Paula used to write more popp y songs when the band started and also more origina l songs . . .see as time went by she started makin g her plagiarism more blatant until . . .see I woul d lend her one of my records and 2 or 3 week s later she would come in with a new song an d it would be one of the songs off the recor d with 2 or 3 words changed . I would go, Paula , why are you ripping off these songs that ar e inferior to what you write anyway . . .and sh e would go, "Oh, fuck man, it's a cool song and if you don't want to do it then fuck you . " Q : Since both of the bands are using the sam e name can we expect a court battle ? A : I ' d win in an instant . I made the name up , I own the rights to the name and I have 3 o f the original members, but I don't have $150 0 for a preliminary injuction . Q : Would you say that with your current line -

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up your style reflects some o t e c anges yo u were talking about ? A : We just made a very major change . . .see Bamb i and Casey asked me if I wanted to switch t o bass . They said, you don't play bass too badly . I said if I'm gonna be singing lead I'd lov e to switch to bass . . .now all we gotta do is fin d a keyboard player . Casey found this girl, Lisa , who is a great lead guitar player . . .so for awhil e we were playing with Bambi on rythmn guita r and Lisa on lead guitar . Lisa kinda came ou t of a heavy metal background but once her shag g haircut grew out she was remarkably adaptabl e records and stuff and she had these books o n the late 60's and I used to read about Jani s Joplin and think how cool it would be to live in the late 60's . . .So when I was in the 6t h and 7th grade I was really infatuated by th e hippie thing . . .then I got into punk_ . .I thought , wow, here's a scene where you can be an outcas t and be cool for it . . .then I was a big Todd Run Rundgren fan also and I wanted to know wher e I could find Nazz records . . .I had this coo l cousin who told me to get the "Nuggets" recor d cause there was a Nazz song on it and that wa s the first 60's garage record I had . I don' t know I just liked anything that had a good melody . Then I went and saw the Last and fell in love with them . For two years I was going out wit h their singer and thought they were god ' s gif t to music . I'd always go see the Last and go go dance in the audience . Then the Unclaime d happened . Q : Any current favorite bands you like ? A : I love the 3 O'Clock . I love the Bangle s and I love the Screaming Sirens . They are hot . I love them cause they're drunk rowdy female s and they're not ashamed of it . I like Agen t Orange a lot . For awhile back in '83 I was int o all the early bands in L .A . doing the 60's reviva l thing, but after about three months of it I realized most of them were just playing th e same covers . I also lived in New York for awhile , '82 and '83 . Man, it was stupid there . Wha t a stupid scene they had . Bands like the Fuzztones . They were so predictable . They all wore blac k turtlenecks, but their rockabilly haircuts hadn' t grown out yet . They were like a 1966 band you would hire to play a wedding . I liked the Chesterfield Kings at the time . They had been a t it so long you could tell they weren't trying to be trendy . So when I moved back here ther e was a little of that starting here and at th e time Paula left the band it was so stupid . I mean it was getting where every girl in th e audience was pseudo Pandoras . . .every boy was psuedo Chesterfield Kings and all they eve r talked about was Who had the most rare records . It was as dumb as when hardcore became trend y and everyone had a mohawk . Q : So what movies have influenced the ban d or you in particular ? A : That ' s a good question . Originally I ' d sa y Riot on Sunset Strip was one of the main inspira tions for my coming up with the name, but I ' d say my biggest movie influence was Beyond th e Valley of theDolls . That's my favorite movie . Q : I just interviewed Russ Meyer a couple o f weeks ago . . A : Really? I might interview him too for thi s book on exploitation movies that I'm helping on . We ' re doing as many interviews as we can . The other movies that influenced my life are Faster PussycatKill Kill . . .I always wishe d that the Pandoras could do a remake of tha t and Paula would play the hostage (laughing) . . . ' she'd be perfect . . .I like women in prison movie s a lot . . .I like Ilse She-Wolf of the SS and I love Warner Brothers cartoons . I'm a big movi e buff . Q : As a final thing here . . .any message to th e 4 youth of America ? A : Yeah! Don ' t go see movies like Porky' s cause the more people that go and see them th e more of them they'll make . Go see good movies instead and then it ' ll be easier to see good ' movies . That ' s my message to the youth of today . . don ' t support bad movies . . .don ' t see movie s like Where the Boys Are and Spring Break . *Note to ' they : Gwynne also wanted meand mention tha t r (meaning Bambi, Casey, herself) neve received any of the mail addressed to them fro m the Fan Club P .O .Box which was handled by Paul a and Gary . They want to apoligize to anyone who wrote and didn't get a reply . They will be gla d to write back to anyone who wishes to writ e to their new address : P .O .Box 84-158, L .A . , CA 90073 .

Michael Quercio and Gwynne :

(3 O'clock)

dams with

to our style . . .anyway, we just added a keyboar d player this week . Q : Do you still do any of the old songs ? A : We still do " Melvin " and " The Hump " becaus e those two covers were my ideas to do . Q : Are you with Enigma now ? A : We are . Enigma ' s been great . They ' ve bee n shelling out the bucks, I mean for a small labe l they've been shelling out the bucks . . .oh, do you want a scented album cover? Do you wan t it to smell like incense? They're really int o mechandisinq . Q : So let me sidetrack a moment . . .tell me abou t your battles with El Duce at the Cathay . A : Ohh, no real battles, El Duce is my buddy . First time I saw the Mentors I was laughin g my head off . I've always considered myself some what of a feminist, but when I see a bnd lik e the Mentors or Fear that go way out of thei r way to be offensive I think they do more fo r the feminist cause than someone standing o n a soapbox preaching . Q : Cause it's like a parody ? A : Yeah . They're not sexist, they're a parod y of it, like National Lampoon . When we playe d there we never had battles with him . We tried to see who could be more disgusting . Actuall y before Paula got this new boyfriend of her s she could out-disgust El Duce . She used to be cool . She was a rowdy shitklc'-er chick . That' s what caused a lot of personal fighting caus e all of a sudden we'd used a four letter wor d at rehersal and she'd go, "How can you tal k like that?" You don't know who's talking here . . . this is a girl who had her picture in Flipsid e in 1977 giving a blowjob to one of the Sex Pistol s and all of a sudden she became the virgin queen . She went out with everyone from Bruce Barf wh o later ended up in Wall of Voodoo to the Screamer s to the Wierdos . Just look at your old issue s of Flipside . . .I was envious . . .I looked up t o her cause she was such a scene-maker . Q : How did you get interested in 60's garag e music ? A : When I was 12 I was really fascinated b y the 60's cause I didn't have any friends a t school and everyone hated me just cause I didn' t wear platform shoes and stuff . We had this Mexican aid who was really young and she had all thes e Stones, Jefferson Airplane, and Moody Blue s

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KT, MOE, & KERRY . . . . "I say hey Bo Diddley . . . . . . .extensive rambling ' bout Moe . her family and especially her future punk starlet daughter, Kerry . by KT Lee with thousand pardons to honorable Dr . HS T There was also the sub-cultural factor . Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, th e only REAL cure is to load up on heinous chemically induced music and drive like a bastar d from south florida to some one zit town i n south georgia . To visit a rockandroll legen d --the Velvet Underground ' s drummer, Maureen Tuck er-- as it were, in the womb of american sm r townism . Just roll the datsun out and screw o n it, grease the face with anti-no-see-um and mov e out with the Velvets at top volume, and at leas t a pint of Fresh Florida Orange Juice Yea . The inside of the car looked like a Richar d Minor warehouse . Boots everywhere . Those tapes . Those goddamn tapes . Those tapes with the pretty red typeset jackets . Those 19 rare-as-bloody-buzzard-teeth Velvet Underground (so-dubbe d the) " Afterhours " tapes . Yea . All this had been rounded up (I might add , prior to the release of Polygram's VU) over a period of years and years before, in a frenz y of massive tape/etc . collecting all over thi s miserable continent, not to mention man y others -- by the founder/editor of *VUAS/Wha t GoesOn, Phil Milstein, not to mention man y others . He picked up everything he could ge t his hands on . Not that we needed all that fo r the trip, but once you get locked into a seriou s tape/etc . collection, the tendency is to push i t as far as you can . A small town in georgia (But)! Which one? yo u weep!) awaited us at the end of our line . Ah ! Yes! And Maureen Tucker, too ! No, this was not like watching Michael Stip e ' s hair curl in person . Mope, not even like an exclusive Bangles interview . No . This was mor e like kissing James Brown's face . Or getting o n stage with the wicked Wilson Pickett, even . Yea . This was the REAL thing . This was meeting Mo e Tucker! And her family ! Yup . Maureen Tucker today is a tad shy o f that skin-thumpin ' -shit-shovelin ' -beer-swiggin ' mama that added more than her 25 % ' s worth to tha t early, Velvet Underground-o-rama-sound . Sinc e those velvet days, Moe has (among other achievements) raised 5 amazingly groovy kids . I ' m not going to tell you anything abou t Maureen ' s post-Velvet/pre-1985 story, other tha n the fact that for the most part, she lived wit h her (at the time) husband, Steve Mikulka, i n Pheonix, then Tucson, Arizona . During that time , she bore 4 Mikulka kids (upon entering conubia l bliss, she had already had one child, her eldest , Kerry) . Moe and Steve were recently divorced . Moe moved with all 5 kids to south georgia, wher e her mother of 4 decades lives . Moe is now looking to settle in the northeast . No, No . No more data than that . No, it woul d spoil the fun . By the end of the year, the VUA S should be publishing the ALL HOE TUCKER issue , to coincide with de ALL STERLING MORRISON issu e The stories are much bette r of What Goes On . when told in their own words . Each issue wil l feature a humongous interview with they, tw o of rockandroll ' s most enigmatic and formidibl e Ghosts (thanks, Wimmer) . To write about each of Moe ' s children , (Kerry, Ellas, Keith, Kate and Richard) woul d

Page 23 probably take an article a kid, so this one i s about Kerry . This is just a teeny overview/prelude to the huge empirically documented*, hi-tech , sociological survey which is about to be writte n about the quirky musical relationship between Mo e and Kerry . The article will bust its wrapping s and will be printed in its entirity, includin g all of its cultural implications, in WGO #5 , later this year (please see box) . If Kerry were a bloody yuppie, we could do a TV show . We would call it Familie Tys . Kerr y is not a yuppie, nor is she a preppie, nor is sh e your typical-about-to-be-a-sophomore high schoo l kid . There ' s just no avoiding the topic . If w e were to do a TV show about Kerry and Moe, it woul d be called, My Mother : TheOriginal Punk and s o am I . Meredith Baxter Birney wouldn ' t even hav e a shot . Kerry likes Black Flag and Kraut and D .O .A . and just about anybody else whose good hard core tape you send her . (Have a song or tape yo u want to send to the Feed Kerry Tucker Fund ? Send them to me KT Lee, c/o the below addres s with a letter, and we will forward it along t o Kerry!) Kerry likes to skate and has a reall y boss homemade hairdo for which most of the sout h georgian RedMan chewers (and that ' s only th e qurls)) make fun . You ' d think that the original punk, Mauree n would be toe-tapping and LP buying right alon g side to encourage her daughter . Well, Moe' s musical tastes are on a slightly skewed plan e in relation to Kerry's . To better understan d Moe ' s music, we must venture back . Way back . Aside from being able to type over a zillio n words a minute (more like 110+), Moe ' s musica l influence for the main part of her early day s was the Big Bad Bo Diddley . Maybe now you ca n listen to those big velvet beats --"Doo-Do o Whacka-Whacka-Doo-Doo-Whacka-Whack a " -- with a fresh ear . Go forward from the 50s, not back ward from the 80s . It is this writer ' s opinion that Moe ha d little interest with post-VU music . That is , until she heard the likes of the mighty Hal f Japanese (among a few others .) (Sorry, Tropical Depression, some people out there hav e taste . And Hey! Anymore of those cheezy, in congruous and totally incorrect Jewish references, and I ' ll come rub my schiksah ass al l over your anti-semetic, collective face . Next time you open your minds and poison pens, tr y taking a little peek into your heart and ears , too! ) Yea, Moe ' s taste in music is far from conventional (e .g ., Jonathan Richman makes he r sweat happy bullets . . .) but it seems she has a hard time relating to many thrash/HC/pun k things . " What ' s the one that goes, ' C ' mon, jus t gimme a pepsi . . . ' ? I like that one! It ' s prett y good . " Sez Moe . So, she likes Suicidal Tendencies . She likes the Violent Femmes and many o f the recent covers of VU tunes . Yay to Charlie ' s " White Light " and REM ' s " Pale Blue . " Moe is far from closed minded (just take a listen to her solo LP and work work with the Fai r brothers) . Kerry is given fair freedom . But , perhaps Moe ' s intense bouts with motherhood (fiv e kids ' ll do that to ya) have given her just reason for concern over Kerry's hardcore tendencies . Talking with Kerry, I get the impression tha t her interests go beyond teen-age-superficialtrend and punk style (understandably one of Moe' s most paramount fears) . Kerry just really like s music . Mom's favorite music lends ample area in whic h Kerry can explore . It was fun playing guita r to the tune of "Bo Diddley" first with Maureen , then later with Kerry . Another fun thing wa s that the first time Kerry realized there wa s a skull shadowed in the murky black of th e WL/WH LP cover was the day we visited . Funny .

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Especially for a kid who decorates her roo m with very many ! Well, the article ends here, but the stor y does not . Issue #5 of What GoesOn --will hav e complete, current interviews with Moe and Kerry (with real live quotes and everything!) about their relationship . They looked at me, but said absolutely nothing . By this time, I was laughing crazily . It made no difference . I was another fucked-u p critic with a good heart . Shit, they ' ll LOVE me at SubLapse . I took another hit of OJ an d by the time I got in the car, my heart was ful l of joy . I felt like a monster reincarnation o f the Duchess . . .a woman in the groove, and jus t sick enough to be totally confident *What Goes On is the whenever-it-gets-published-i t-gets-published publication of th e Velvet Underground Appreciation Society . Th e VUAS is a not-for-profit organization . Th e money given to the WAS in exchange for services/products/etc . goes right back into producing more VU goodies . At this time, th e VUAS has still available issue 43 of What Goe s On, 52 pages crammed with reviews and articles by fine folk, like Bangs and Meltzer . There' s plenty of Nico, Lou, Warhol and everyone, even Angus MacLise! Hell there's even a cover drawing by Jad Fair! Plus, the VUAS can put you i n touch with some hot,rare tape connections, a t prices which do not exceed retail Maxell UDXLI I (and even some wholesale) costs!! Soon to come ! VUAS T-Shirts! Reprints of WGO issues 1 & 2 together with a coeplete,updated critical guide to ALL VU recordings, as compiled by smart guy, M .C . Kostek II . All in one issue! Issues 4 & 5 of WGO will follow later this year, after the 1 & 2 br(i bonus issue later this summer . All WGOS are only $3 ./5 postpaid . Cheap . Hey, Stipe has done it, Henry Rollins has done it . Jeez, even Patt i Smith does it! You should, too . Any purchase puts you on the permanent VUAS worldwide (thous -

ands of subscribers!) mailing list . Hey! I al most forgot! Now available! The complete set o f lyrics for the first 4 VU LPs can be yours for only $2!! Here's the address suckers : M .C . Kostek, 5121 S .E . Laguna Ave ., Stuart, Florid a 33497 .

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PHOTOS : RICK LENNICK BY BO .Z Live . . .Live . . . Party Down . . . Live . . . Get Off : :' ! Time to look back at some of the shows we've ha d since last issue featuring out of town bands . Firs t show that comes to mind was Plan9 at Flynns w1So I was really looking forward to seeing . I was a bit dissapointed . . . they just fuckin' stood there . . . . b00000ring . . . wait . . I take that back . . the chick on keyboards was real cool with her hair flying in her face . They should build a band around her . BlackFlag and SaccharineTrust came back fo r a return engagement on Halloween . If you had remembered they had just played 2 months prior eo I wasn't as hyped up for this . Saccharine Trust played the best set I've ever seen em play (having see n them 4 times) . . . what a bitchin' guitarist!!! I love their stop/go hanky jerky whatchamacali t sound . black Flag played a very similar set to last time . I didn't enjoy them as much but they'r e still great . One of the true greats . . . they reall y put out on stage! Along a similar vein I caught Prank Sinatra at the Sunrise Musical Theatre . I was impressed to say the least . . . the man's got style, charisma, soul and .plenty,ofcool . Most o f the songs he sang were ballads and often dealt wit h the seedy side of life ; drinking, gambling, depression through love gone bad, etcc . . . The ancien t hinster made no concessions to current musica l trends cause he doesn't have to . Like some ol d Mississippi blues cat that won't die, you kee n doin g what you've done for years . . . singing abou t your life's experiences and believe me, Frank' s got alot of em . A great show but I was still bum med . . no'Strangers in the Night" and no encore . . what a lame audience!!!Good thing that Corrosion of Conformity didn't open for Frank cause the y wouldn't have stood a chance . I must say I didn' t like their set at Flynns very much . For starter s the P .A . was so fuckin loud that it almost hur t (and believe me my hearing ain't what it used t o be) . Plus all their songs sounded identical . . . I don't know maybe it was an off night but what I I wasn't expecting muc h saw didn't impress me when Decry came to town, even though I though t they had a pretty good album . I hadn't figured o n being blown away by their sheer awesomeness an d power . It was almost like seeing Minor Threat fo r the first time . . . well maybe not but believe me , if these guys could leave this jaded ole' sou l left with his mouth hangin' open . . . if you kno w what I mean . Catch these guys next time around ! Also worth seeing is Trus West . Granted their las t record sucked, but live the band's a whole different kind o f animal . They got a real tough but melodic guitar sound . . . . sorta like a more discipline d Television . Great choice of covers too . . . 'Lucife r Sam", "Happening Ten Years Ago", and "1969' . My ,nly complaint is that they did an almost identica l ;ee when I saw them in San Francisco the previou s summer . Regardless I dug em just the same . . . . What else? Oh yeah . . . New Years at Flynns wit h Bedlam and Adrenalin 0 .D . . . . let me see if I can remember . Actually the main thing I recall i s going into the bathroom to puke so that I coul d keep on drinking . I don't know why New Years make s us do things like that . I guess since it's th e party with the biggest hype of the year, we ten d t - fnrce ourselves to have a good time regardles s I thought Bedlam should've been called Boredo m and A .O .D . were alright but not as crazy and wil d as I had thought they'd be . The big show of th e season however was Suicidal Tendencies who sol d out the club . Besides the fact that they looke d ridiculous (I mean flannel shirts buttoned up al l the way to the top are real practical in the subtropical heat) they were real mediocre nd were totally lacking in any kind of snontanity . So in stead of talking about dumb p-rock shows let m e ran awhile about the blues . First off ' :as a fre e g i g by James Cotton at the Metrozoo . I only saw one set (he nlayed 3) but from what I saw I en -

joved . mood n' tough modern Chicago blues . . . . bu t the blues coup of the year would've had to of bee n Buddy Gum and Junior Wells at Tobbacco Road, th e club in the sleazy Hart of downtown Miami that' s brin g in' down lots of the blues greats thanks t o Mr . Red, Hot, and Blue himself ; Mark Weiser . Any how as any cool hinster knows, Buddy and Junio r have been nlayin' as a team together since th e late 60's, although as individuals they go bac k much further . Buddy is an excellent geetar playe r with a fine ex p ressive voice, while Junior i s known for his heavy hart) blowin' and equall y tou gh singin' . These muthers tore the club smar t with their hard Chicago blues . The blues were made to be seen in small clubs like Tobacco Roa d where the liquor flows freely and the womens jus t look real fine . Check the place out! Well onour h of that . I hope everyone caught Government Issu e at Flynns . I still got a soft snot in my hear t for these ole' Dders, and they didn't let me down even when they were Navin' massive PA problem s the first ni ght . Stabb is a great fontman wh o refuses to be taken seriously, injecting lots o f subtle humour into the whole affair . His magic marker tattos were too much! I'll go see thes e guys anytime! The rob also made it to Flynns an d were fair but hardly snectacular . I did find i t kind of ir,terestine that they did a Bad Brain s cover . I guess the Bad Brains legacy still run s deer in NYC (and with good reason too) . Als o makin' it from New York was A gnostic Front wh o had the misfortune to hit town the day that Flynn s shut down . Alas a substitute gig was arranged a t Jack's warehouse in Pomnano which was immediatl y broken un by a full squad of con cars, full o f an g ry youn g men swingin big angry sticks at a mean u gly crowd of 50 had ass punk rockers . I surgestel that we all lock hands and sing 'Giv e Peace a Chance' (or 'we Are the World' at least ) but things never happened . . . . oh well another

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early night . New club in town is the cell, wh o gave us a double bill of Scream and the Subhumans . I love Scream and really got off on their selectio n of covers ; 'Helter Skelter" and a medley of "Magi c Carpet Ride" and " Who Do You Love" . They sounde d great, the only problem being Fete who sat throug h most of the set instead of jumpin around like h e usually does . Ap parently his throat was fucked s o maybe he needed to take it easy . The Subhumans wer e alri ght but lets face it, Scream's a tough act t o follow . . . . Caught GIHLSCSCCL DEEP PUFLE at th e Snorthole . Big dissanointment on both accourts . Firstly, the departure of Kelly shows n irlschoo l seriously lackin' . Their new material is also rath r wim p y and seems to he jestsne .d to gai- the m American airplay . Regardless they were still wort h checking out, but fell short of the org asmi c heights they used to be capable of . Deer, Purpl e sucked shit . I mean sure, "Hi ghway Star" sounde d cool but their new doggy material reeks of Foreignerisms and when they kicked into a 10 minut e drum solo while the lazer lights manned out a drawing of Mozart's face overhead I knew it wa s time to leave . Now I remember why I avoid aren a concerts . Last g lrs I'm g onna mention concern 2 Georgia bands, Love Tractor and the Ni ght Iorters . Let inc say that I have a true aversion t o most Georgia bands (same for Hoboken bands) bu t I'll try to he as objective as humanly possible . I was only able to withstand about 4 songs o f Love Tractor . . . they looked bored and sounded eve n more so . Maybe it's the fashionable art schoo l look . . . . I don't know . I had heard good thing s about the Ni ght Porters, that they were harde r and a helluva lot less self-concious than th e other Atlanta/Athens bands . =ranted, they were rock n' roll but for me they came off as a poor man's True West, just not the aorta thin g I get, off on . I like em mean & sleazy . el l folks that's it for now see ya around town . Since we decided we didn't feel like doin' a here's a fe w local report column this time impressions of a few Fla . bands that we've cau ght and dug live : 1 .) DHI S . Meer gettin' better each time out . They're #1 in the power/muscle dent . down here . they're real HEAVY man :

2.) F- They only play about twice a year . Caught em up north . . Bumfuck, Fla . Ken Decter is a pro nhet of our times . F is amazing: The Most fun an d unpretentious band in the state . 3.) CHARLIE PICKETT & THE EGGS- A final week end show after the tour . Fuckin' ace as usual they did lots of the songs real different whic h was cool . Too bad the band quit after the las t show (Charlie's lookin' for new guys) . . watc h for the LP on Twintone anyway . 4.) PSYCHO DAISIES- The Eggs minus Charlie but plus guitar whiz Johnny Salton . They've been practicin' & it shows . Great songs : I kinda liked em better than Charlie cause I didn't hav e to listen to "Shake Some Action" or "If this is Love" again for the 999th time . 5.) MORBID OPERA- Last show wasn't that hot du e to F .A . problems but they'll rebound for the nex t g i g . Look for their LP soon . Well that's it for my favorite Florida bends a t the moment . Next time we'll do a scene re port & give you all the pertinent newz that's fit t o nrint (like 'the true newz behind the Gay Cowboy s breaku p ") . So till then . . . so long gan g . Last. Minute Flash : HUSKER DU at Ft . Lad . Fireman' s Hall . First off let me say that R&R was made fo r bars rot halls . Second the heat was almost unbearable inside (there were no ins & outs) . Other tha n that it was a very well rut together show (thank s Richard) . The Huskers were g ood but to be honest , I enjoy em more on record . The band's subtle nature seems lost live as they ont for more of a grind em out ap p roach . Aahhh what the fluck . . i t was fun anyway .

"GAWD : This joint smell's lik e Brooklyn"- THE MO B

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Imagine yourself in a society where three or more sexes relate in a n infinite number of ways, and repression is in the form of unbridled freedom o f meaningless information, and evil and good struggle inside and out. What do you do? ? LISTEN i Mgdolls -. Speak Softly E carry a big stick -- 12" ep Culturcide L P

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. ALL REVIEWS BY BARRY (BOZ) UNLESS NOTED . GREAT PLAINS "BORNIN ABARN' (HOMESTEAD LP)-- The first disk by these guys was pretty ggood bu t 'twas nothin' like the hokey-pokey snot-twistin ' devil that this is . B-in-a-B snats crackles & pop e in a way that is far beyond good . It's like th e band was a bucket brigade hustlin' pail afte r pail of American life's-blood in yr direction s o that ya can thrive & grow like some aorta crazy eyed monster . Thematically US'ian almost t' th e point o' xeno phobia, the elements here are put together in so appealin' & semi-hick a fashion tha t I'm almost tempted t' drive t' Columbus so I can vote for 'em . Really the balls . (BYRON COLEY ) WHITEFLAG"THIRD STRIKE'(GASATANKALP)-- The way I see things is as follows : 1 . The production isn't what I had thought it would be . 2 . White Flag are pretty silly but that doesn' t mean they don't have a few worthwhile things t o say . 3 . The music contained within is the usual hone-crushin' inducin groovin' excellence we'v e come to exnect from this bunch . As White Fla g would say, there's only 2 kinds of peo p le in th e world, White Flag fans and those who are not ! SWANS "COP"(K .422 LP)--- An ugly record . Evokes the same tyre of nain that outfits like TG, SPK, an d Factrix were capable of but the Swans don't pla y with tinkertoys as they have a more conventiona l rock n' roll tyne lineup . Not that they are reall y rock n' roll as they are obviously up to a more radical form of aesthetic ugliness . Unfortunetl y this will only appeal to a small clique of connaisseurs but maybe it's just as well . . . only a truly sick society would embrace this . FAN ; "WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE" (BONER 12" EP)-- I was mi ghty unset when I had found out the mornin g after that Fan g had played in Tamna the previous ni ght . Ye see, Fang p lay some of the grungies t metal nunk around which suits my tastes just fine . Not exactly an articulate bunch they tell it like it is or tunes like "Suck and Fuck' and 'Everybody rakes Me Want to Barnh' . You manna lay odd s that these guys don't hang out with Dave MDC i n Frisco? A; kind of band! (2148 Boner St . Berkley , Ca . 94702 ) MEAT PUPPETS "UPONTHESUN" (SSTLP)--- A really great record that easily surpasses 'Meat Puppet s II" . It's more relaxed, fluid, and it just flow s so damn nice . . . . it'll make you feel real good . . and whens the last time a record did that? I t was made for snuggling up to that someone special with a bottle of spirits and some ganja . You can really smell the wide-open desert, th e sagebrush, the whole rustic Arizonia enviromen t . but don't try to pigeonhole this bunch a s their influences are as wide and diverse as sa y someone like the Minutemen . Snatches of country , jazz, osychedelica, folk . . . you name it . . it' s all a part of the Meat Puppets experience . . . try to analyze it if you must . . all I know is that i t sounds good . Their best yet honest . . . I wouldn' t shit you . Mass Review (I hate to do this but if you'v e got a better way . . . . ) F ._ S NFESS NS MANIFEST DESTINY MYST C " 4a.kt aa : p iS/Y MES S T A T UL -LING O:gEPNNL ,p " . ' tholmmW. i.)NiTT.ELARii!i u K " G.srMiss3a " ' S ' zralF..' 4, MA W , S 1 ANCH b ;1749:t;isi')iP r04Pgdi7O7 P' .VAR CA t ; 1il; N' dPiAmb:3 :)om plA'nziaik'tt d 'A N 1' TI : LP LANDLORDS CAT H TROUT LP' : SPECIA L ORCE-S WO LT) DOMINATION BONER LF ' UNWANTE D D .NC 047sxs7 BuY o R , OR7S LF; H MANSUFFERAG= THANK YOU .MOTHPr t 'DEAR" NEW A N LP ARTACUS FAGHT CASSETTE --- Back in 1 7 3 A A"'S CH .E LEADERS CASSET for every Black Sabbath, Led Zen, and Blue Oyster Cult there were a zillion other bands lik e Dust, Budgie, Uriah Hear), Status Quo, UFO, Si r Lord Baltimore, and the list goes on . . . :<ow mayb e iou're not such of a Sabbath fan but let's fac e some facts ; Black Sabbath's 'Paranoid", 'Led Ze n II", and Blue Oyster Cult's 'Tyranny and Mutation ' were all amazing records when they were release d (and they still are for that matter) . The poin t is as follows : for every Social Distortion, Di e Kreuzen, and Minor Threat there's gonna be othe r bands like the Mess, Manifest Destiny, Human Suffrage, and the Grim . Sure we could be like MRR and try to be nice and sweet and say something lik e this Short nunchy thrash that features pow erful satirical lyrics . A band with integrity s o pret sunnort the scene and pick this un ty dumb isn't it? The fact is that these band s are about as revolutionary as Michael Jackson i s relevant and as exciting and original as Porky' s Revgnge is entertaining . So what can you do? No t much except maybe shake your fist at Ozzy an d Ian MacKaye . . . look at the fuckin' monsters yo u ' hel p ed create!!!! NEGATIVE TREND (SUBTERRANEAN 12' EP --- Oh man , a ut time . was sic er'n shit o young skull s comin' by my house t' listen t' my copy o' this . Now they can bup out on their own time! Scat! Go get yr own! So what Ie It? The fuckin' nibs, man . Primal awesome SF p-rock o' the v . highest calibre . Ripe w/the p romise o' times that made the Avengers , Crime, Nuclear Valdez, ad infinitum appear t' be the MERE TIP o' the comin' thing! Can you imagine ? Fug . Anyhow, this is a OLASSIC pre-core gnarl wagon just beggin' t' roll down yr wide-one pipes . Climb outta yr asshole listen t' these four scab s o' ras py bowel-turn & DON'T EVER THINK 0' STARTIN' A BAND 'LESS YR AIM'S T' TOP THIS . (BYRON COLEY ) DCTEA1! TWTN" "ATKRA-GUTNEA'(+ D 12'EP)--- Stil l interesting but beginning with last year's "Treasure" I find my fascination waning . Their recent material just doesn't seem to spar k that emotional chord within me like their earlie r work did so easily . Although the band's direotion is the same, the production and songs are certainly more complex but emotionally something seems lacking . Maybe I need to fall in love or s omethin g . . .

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;ORRY "IMAGINARYFRIEND" (RADIOBEATLP)--- I'v e seen either bland r' negative reviews o' this re c scattered through the punk press & I don't under stand what the friggin' problem is . Not that this' c a flawless debut alb 'r anything, but sorry HAVE crafted a goddamn meatcleaver of a rec here & let' s not say otherwise . The first side goes back n' fort h 'twixt off-kilt supra-thrash head buttin' (includin ' a tremendous cover o' the Mekon's "Where Were You" ) & less sucoesful slow-burn ass-spreaders . It's stil l more-textured (& prob even BETTER) n' most disk s you'll hear, but the pacin' keeps it from impactin ' the way it might . Side Two's another story though . Every bit as hot as a Dean Martin Celebrity Roas t (P . 320) it fits 'n starts along w/barely contained fury . And the melodies they come up w/may no t always be equal t' their attack, but fuck, they're close enough . Gettin' better all the time too . Ignore Not . (BYRON COLEY ) MOOW ( RLP)--- NY noize outfit with bosh app roach fallin' in some Where between the subtleness of Sonic Youth and the' outright direotness of the Swans . While I eam't say I like A as much as either of thos e 'Peleeme new sounds from the dark balls I Az honest if not overwhelmin g ,Immitial effort . . . In time I'm sure they'll be eatable of iuoh more . (POB 20898 NY, NY 10009 ) $FENCER DAV .S GROUP"BEST OF. . ." (RHINOLP)--type of thing Rhino does so well . . . oracti ,ally everything you'd ever want by these guy s are included here . "Keep On Running" sounds a s great today as it did 20 years ago ! 1 GHT$ OF THE ACCUSED 'INNOCENCE' (LITTLE FARME R ~f I op)--- Typical RC vinyl that features (fortunetly) stronger songwriting than what we've come to expect from this tiring genre . Best thing here is the title tune which aorta reminds me of earl y Damned especially the vocals . A decent EP even i f ' (422 9 it's not comnletly distinctive . W Roscoe St . Chicago, Il 60641)
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CELTIC FROST" MORBID TALES " (METAL BLADE 12 " ) ---Whoa-eh! (To paraphrase Jimi Hendrix) Faste r than fast and heavier than dirt . THESE GUY S KICK MY ASS ALL OVER THE PLACE! Front ghou l Satanic Slaughter supplies the V-axe holocaus t and totally incomprehensible (even with th e lyric poster) Dambuster vocals, whilst cohort s Slayed Necros and Denial Fiend churn out the loudest, fastest, most HELLISH CROSSFIRE o n WOODEN COFFINS that mortal ears have ever bee n battered bloody by! No band is HEAVIER tha n CELTIC FROST! These tracks will leave the skankers all busted up and the metal heads ringin g like a collective gon g . The best of both worlds ! (Malcolm Tent ) ERS'I WAJINA BEGOD"(UNCLEAN7'EP)--- Don' t w why I like these guys . . . maybe it's the free shirt they sent me . . . naw . . it goes much deeper than that . This is their third EP which offer s no new revelations but that's OK cause that's no t what the Lepers are about . They blend HC element s with a strong 'punk' (as in the raw garage sens e of the term) influence that is occasionally reminescent o f the Eat . (POB 725 Sand Spg, OK 74063 ) of T r $'PEES 129 Ep]--- pEetty O straight-forward NB&R band . Imagine a more frenzied version of the Heats an d you got a clue as to where the Movers are comin ' from . The songs are pure nop but are played with a certain edge that saves them from sappiness . Not bad but don't ask me cause I'm s0000 jaded . H$ WOLFGANG PRESS 'WATER' (4AD 12'EP)--- The i o fgang Press probably best define the origina l direction of the 4AD label out of their curren t crop of artists . They are the opposite of Colourbox's bright dance music . They hark back to thos e dark days . . . heavy brooding music . . . shades o f Rema Rema and Mass . . . an emphasis on experimentation . . . Yes this is the 4AD I know and love an d after a slow start the Wolfgangs seem capable o f continuing in this tradition . A worthy release .

THE RIGHT SIDE OF MY BRAI N . . .a psyco sexual tale of one " 'weans degeneration NOW AVAILABLE IN VIDE O Mail order only, limited ed . $22 .50 P .P ., Money Orders t o R . Kern P .O . Box 1322, N .Y .C . 10009 USA (foreign add $4 .00 ) Specify VHS or BETA

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PASTS QF 9QVRBON 'THEAXEMA~'S JA;Z' (RIO TIME j The Beasts hail from Australia, a musica l hoterot these days . The band features several members of the Scientists along with the hearty approval of Kid Congo Powers . The r roots are American country and blues and its suprising to i say the least that their interpretation it ao American . guess they oan 'I decidingly Club . The Imain difference 1sbe o are d t to the Gun their coun emphasis and their lack of pretention . A t*a and

Jazz Blues Rock & Rythym Collecfable s

* We Buy Use d Records
Bob Perry

Blue Note Record s

(305) 893-6537

13053 West Dixie Hwy . North Miawl, FL 33161

Page 3 2
VARIOUS 'FLORIDA EXPLOSION" (ALTER REELS/-.-SYN C Qassette)--- A budget cassette featuring 18 Sout h Florida bands (with the exception of Sector 4) . There's a p retty good variety of styles p resen t as well ; thrash, metal, non, and basic hunk roc k (whatever that is) . Although alot of the big name s are noticably absent (G Pickett, Morbid Opera, F OCI!3, Psycho Daisies, Chant, etc . . .) there's stil l plenty of the area's staples like Crank, Disorderl y Conduct, Nobodies Heroes, Drills, Amazing Grace , and the Abusers . My favorites are Crank's 'Endles s Sky" (Amazin'! Still sends chills un my seine) ; 2 vintage Reactions cuts from 1980 includin' 'Haul over Beach' (!) and 2 rower heavy bashers fro m Florida's sleaziest band, the Drills . Sound qualit y varies but is usually decent . Hey . . . what can I say . . there's something for everyone here . . Ric k did a good job . (S6 pp to Rick Lennick, 2234 NE t35 St . N . Miami, Fl . 33161 ) REACHBOYS''SMILE." (BROTHERLP)-- - While the Beatle s were wearing uc for Sgt . Penner' the acid guru o f Southern California, Brian Wilson (Christ! The guy used to p lay his piano in a sandbox in the middl e of his living room) was workin' on his own mindblowin' onus . The project was to be called 'Smile ' but wa g scra ped in favor of 'Smiley Smile' whic h did contain some of the music to the origina l 'Smile' . Well as any Beach Boys fan knows 'Smile ' does not exist in any kind of com pleted form (i n fact many of the tapes were originally thought t o have been destroyed in a fire) . Fortunetly for us , some enterprising bootlegger has dug up some o f the original tapes and made them available on thi s album along with some previously released materia l originally intended for the album . While many of th e selections are incomplete and in rough form we can get an idea as to what Brian had uc his sleeve . It's not suprising that this was not released a s this would've made an odd ecentric album that probably wouldn't have ozone over big with the record buyin g nubllc . Heavily orchestrated this work bears little comnarasion to whatever else was ha ppenin g mutcally during the summer of love . Along with Syd Barrett, Brian Wilson deserves the honor of bein g noted as one of the true acid visionaries of ou r time . It was good knowin' you, Brian . TAWS E ;' SCARE S RAI HT' INSO .i.a r .A 4 .sla lEiM A MYSTI C F other batch of genericized p-rock . th nk Mystic will record just about anyone i n L .A ., the only requirement is that they play fast and rad and sing about how cope suck, ho w our society sucks, and how we must unite! I f this happens to interest you then check out an y of the above .
F 'GET WIER' (HOMESTEAD LP)--- Never saw thes e i0's play live & now they're gone . I did like thei r 12' pretty much though, & their single & comp cut s were mighty cool but, man . . . this thing OINKS lik e there's no tmrw! It is a wild hog of a good rec . Great heat-wave gtr that strips yr skin like to p shelf lye ; nicely hurled vocals wrapped 'roue' . , . fuggin' fine lyrics ; v . tight A. MOVIN' rhythm s (bassist Jay's now w/ the Heats) ; WHAT THE PLUCK ? It'd seem that Bonstown ALREADY HAD THEIR GREA T POST-BURMA TRIO & JUST NEVER NOTICED . Jesus . Th e shame . (BYRON COLEY ) tL

MOST GENERATION 'RETURNFROMINCAS" (INCAS LP)-- Pretty stiff HC disc that features a few obliga tory reggae numbers . I would almost write thi s off if it wasn't for one hell-raiser of a tune g alled 'Heroes ' whioh features a choogin' rif f that's infectious as hell along with some equally tough snotty vooala . Sorta reminds me of earl y Saints or something . Too bad I ean't say the same for the rest of this . HARD BELL 'R .I .P .' iBIOR Cassette)--- It' s being a Richard Nell fan . . I mean 2 Lp s in 9 years . . shit . . we'll probably have to wai t till Reagan leaves the White House till we ge t another one . . if we get one . Which is why this tape is so invaluable as it chronicles Richard' s 3usioal oareer from 1975 to 1984 with thes e henceforth unreleased nuggets . The biggest news here is 3 selections Dom his days with th e Heartbreakers including a totally different version of 'Love Comes in Spurts' which makes 3 oompletly different versions of this song (compare with the Neon Boys and the more popula r rendition from the Sire LP) . Also included are 4 songs from his final session last year i n New Orleans that bears the stamp of that cit y and features some wild wailin' sax work . A great collection . . . let's hype the man decide s to come out of retirement soon . SCIENTISTS 'THIS HEART . . . . " (AU GO GO 12 ' EP)-- h sweet Judas goat . . . The Scientists have been a cool hound-dog rieoin' Fosters-sodden Hack o ' true masters ever since they groovied up the beaut-eternal po p hammer that was 'Frantic Roman tic' back in 197x . They never fuggin' faltered n o matter who was playin' in the band & when they be came nublically rebirthed a couple yrs back ALL 0 ' FROGGY'S MAGIC TWANGERS WENT FUCKIN' BIOOEY! ! Their Host-Suicide post Gun Club (& post-alla those combos' multiple digested referrants) ear,chew made my palms bleed swampwater as I lay o n the floor o' my room inhalin' the sand I'd 'stolen' from the s pot where Gram Parsons was s'pose d to've burned in the desert o' Joshua Tree . It was DUCKY & I've felt more-than-love for everythin g they've done since . Their riffs hit ye the way bowl in' balls hit headpins & the lush loose growl o ' this thing's first side's ABOUT THE BEST THING YOU COULD FIND . Don't do better, just do it, asswice . (GPO Box 542D, Melbourne, 3001, Victoria, Aust .- 2 IRC's & they'll send ya their boss mailorde r VELVET UNDERGROUND'VU'(VERVE LP)--- The lates t from the greatest rock n roll band in history . . . and it's not even a bootle g . THOMAS'TOMMY' KEENE "BACK AGAIN (TRY . . .)" (DOLPHIN 12' EP)--- The Razz never did a truckload for me & p revious T-Keenage never made me come real tear s either . There is, however, enough formal pop mastery on this thing to finally make me see some light . And no, there's no effin' way we're talkin' in vention in the manner o' HE NEXT CHILTON 'r somethin' (the way some fol'k have ya believe), bu t this disk manages t o sound good AND bigbudget-s4 le marsh t' me at the same tine the way tha t MEDICINE SHOW did ('though the two live covers seem like an afterthought) . It's not the aorta stuf f that'd make ye manna go out & sacrafice some vir gins, but now that T's (s'cosedly) signed t' Geffen n his ace pop may well provide the backdrop fo r much in-car first-time'ism . Splooie! (FOB 8744 , Durham, NC 27707) (BYRON COLEY)

'N'T N

YAMS (HOM$ST$l1D 12' EP)--- Now I know what it mus t sell life o 'ass gang raped by a crazed gang of professional wrestlers and have my anal cavity violated . AEVO "HERETO GO" (WARNER BROTHERS 12")--- Y a don ' t like Devo, ya worship them . Ya don't liste n to their music, ya absorb it through your pore s and let it collect in shimmering pools in your brain pan . BUT THIS BUCKS! Sorry . Maybe if I tried dancing to it . .(Malcolm Tent ) 5. .. . H ere one several hits of pure Owsley acid after recordin g The Modern Dance' they might've sounded somethin g like this . One of my new year's resolutions : I have =1 to see the Buttholes live!!! ! 0 SU ' S NC..

I nsanity Defense show considerable improvement over their previous cassette release which was

NSANITY DEFENSE 'PILGRIM STATE' (UNSOUNDLP)---

basic undietinguishable thrash HC . This Lp shows a maturing effect as the band has taken in s fe w new influences along with a stronger emphasis o n songwriting . Insanity Defense are certainly moving in a healthier, more creative direction . (Box 216,Centerport, NY 11721)

Page 3 3 r VARIOUS'LET'S BREED' (THROBBING LOBSTER LP)--A real mixed bag of bands and styles on this Boston com p . Personal faves include the Generation X sounding Outlets, a brooding number from Dump truck, the sixties garage inspired Odds, and a vintage 1981 raunched out Prime Movers . Whil e nothing here really shines or stands out (like th e time you heard the Germs on "Tooth and Nail") ye t there are very few klinkers here . A good comp tha t accomplishes what it set out to do which is t o provide the listener with a worthy overview of Boston rock n' roll today. CK FLAG " MI, MAN' ST 'LIVE :4'" SS T ag cause K 4 ' --- ou go a an. t o = ac who would've ever thought that back in the 'Si x Peck' days that they would've been bold enoug h to release something like 'Family Man' an album featuring one side Of poetry and another devote d to instrumentals . The poetry side is basicall y a Henry excursion and is rather entertainin g although some of it may not have been intende d that way . The instrumental (or Greg) side features a number of lengthy guitar jams . Greg's good bu t he ain't no Hendrix if yw get my drift . An album for fans . Everyone else - would be better off picki n up on 'Slip It In', one of the best albums of 84' . Which brings us up to the live tape . . . although not exactly the best recorded tape it's a durable document of the band's live shows . . . everything from the warm-up guitar jam to the non-sto p barrage of classics . . . new and old from 'Nervous Breakdown" to 'Wound Up' . . . all meshing perfectl y within the band's context . . . a testament to their well deserved longevity . SUBURBAm MUTILATION "THE OPERA AIN'T OVER TILL A' . n t e garagedom tradition hail Suburban Mutilation featuring Mr . Potty-Mouth himself, Rev . Norbert Elmo Ugly , the brains (or lack of . . .) behind that sleaz y nunk rock tabloid we all know and love, Sic k Teen! Well like the zine this is raw, dumb , twisted, chaotic and a hell of alot of fun . Hardcoremania au-go-go ! 1EE CIuNT'S LVE'IT CAME FROM OUTOF THE GARAGE " ~1IS1'URBING)--- If you've still not thrille d Et these Chi- ttown sharks, here's yr big chance t ' change all that . W/four cuts from their last three singles and eight brassy new brain-wailers, Los Cunts Live've delivered a poundin' wally of a n alb. Raunch/twist non-core p-rock smashes head-or into a 65 Mustang fulls hard gtr psych & it's off t' the g'rage (PRONTO!) t' sort the mess out . Featurin' the best Iggyisms since the Screamin g Bastards (hi Ron), I manna HEAR some o' thei r Hound Dog Taylor covers . Good enough t' play for Australians . (POB 11463 Chicago, IL 60611 ) (BYRON COLEY ) HUSKER DU 'NEW DAY RISING" (SST LP)--- One of thes e days America's gonna wake up to the fact that these guys are one of the best bands in the universe . Of course by then they'll be broken up and neople will wonder why they never 'made it' . That's irony forva . on oars p . are involved in this cause I don't like UM sad I dislike this even more . FLIPPER 'GONE FISHIN '(SUBTERRANEAN LP)--nissarointing . Maybe Flipper's burned out . . . I really don't know . . . but this is a rather tiring Notably absent is the band's sens e record . of humour which was so nrevelant on prior relasee . The band sounds sluggish (even by Flinner standards) and bored . I just find very little of the freshness which was what turned me on to Flipper in the first p lace . Not really a bad record, but these guys are capable of more inspiring moments . VARIOUS'THEGIRLSCAN'THELPIT' (RHINOLP)-- Modern day girl group comp that's pretty much a waste of time outside of the exception of an unreleased Pandoras cut and nerhans the selectio n by Wednesday Week if I want to push things . Rhino should stick to reissues cause they still haven' t got a clue as to what's hapnenin' nowadays .

[ or))ic3 Goer . LP ;c Psyc

Page 3 4 &VOLTS 'TRAMPS INBLOOM' (NEW ROSELP)__ _ ybe my fave rec o' the yr . Like Christmas (th e band), these North Country wahoos're able t' tickl e my mersh-bone & exotica-bone simultaneously & they do so w/loopy regularity . The Beefheart refrences that had previously bhaped much o' their instrumental flourishiin' have now been consumed b y a more non-denominational elegance o' craft . Like , yes-- the playing is impeccable, but M&V no longer insist on slappin' ya in the face w/their vir tuosity . The tempo changes here are couched insid e o' tree hummable melodies, an amazin' batch o ' lyrics & a joyous force-o-talent that's stunnin' . Songs range from the balladeerin' o' "Hurry Home " (what peoiple who like NRBQ always CLAIM that bend sounds like) t' the stalk-tusslin' hilarit y o' the title track t' (yr fave here) . Um, hotly recommended t' all but the real jerks amongst you . (BYRON COLEY ) ifii AL GOSPEL 'PENETRATING TALES' (ARMY/DANGEROU S ~' M 12`EP)--- Horror/death rock outfit from n ran who apnear to be influenced by Bauhaus , the Bat Qave bands, etc . . . More image than substance . (2440 16 St W180 S .F ., CA . 94103 ) STRANGLEHOLD"SAME SLL OVER'/'SHE'S NOT LEAVING " (TANG7 ' )-- .. I thought records like this were fas t becoming obsolete . . . a rousing HC ditty complet e o with clancin' chargin' guitars, an rre!tMAa g sing-a- long chorus, and p n y o a rhythmn section . Brings to mind early Sham or Social Distortion or something else equally wonderful . Very worthy of your attention . (84 Oa k St . Weston, Ma 02193 ) S IRIT'S STILL THERE' 'MISS --- Former Tampon s as n e : es It o now res .e in Boston . I really liked them years ago down here . They're a good powerful band but this is just so pretentiously English sounding (as in J .D .,early Echo, etc . . .) tha t it's hard for me to get excited . Too bad caus e they've got some good things goin' for em' (as i n some crucial guitar work) . (1619 Commonwealth Av . #1.6, Brighten, Ma 02135 ) MAN SIZED ACTION 'FIVE STORY GARAGE" (REFLEX 12 " Man Sized Action bear a resemblance t o e low, Minneeotiane Husker Du . The similaritie s include their intense hardcore energy, wel l crafted dramatic song ca pabilities, and a feelin g of emotional involvement with their material . A thinking person's hardcore band that retains th e energy and power of the genre without any of it' s stylistic limitations . To, bad'they've decided t o call it quits cause bands like these are alway s welcome . )-- r y o re es damaged as most Diego spew seems t' be (not tha t Pretties-damage's a bad thing) . These guys ' latch on the honky R&B muse seems more aligne d wired, white & blue genius/tards like the Sonics , whilst keepin' a Lord Sutch-like take on the actual, ' phenom o' '&iggin " corpses . V . hard-hittin . v . time . And ~1ve 'em extra points for thank in' '01 10 basis . (BYRON COLEY ) JIAll'BEST OF . . ."(RHINOLP)--- The Nazz are re membered for being Todd Rundgren's first band . Their three albums used to bring high collector' s vrices until Rhino reissued them, along with thi s sampler LP of album cuts, singles, and unrelease d oddities . Basically the Nazz were an unp retentiou s non band that existed during a generally dra b period of music (1969-1971) when hippie excess and burnt nut folkies dominated the scene . Althoug h an interesting period curiosity today , the Nazz still had a solid grip on American po p music and deserved more than the attention they reoieved as this album proves . a'FBEATS "WHY DO YOU HANG OUT? EP/DEEP WOUN D a a :ig )o e . e q ge same band records the same song 13 times an d releases the mess on two records under two different names . Well . JT ' S NOT FUNNY! (Malcol m Tent) R M I - '"MAN E' BLACKJACKS 'BASIC BLACKJACKS' (HOMESTEAD 12' EP ) A despicable faceless band who come up sho like alot of the Hower cop bands of a few years ago did . The Blackjacks play basic R&R in the manne r that bands as diverse as the Lyres, Eggs, and Tru e West do . Whereas those bands favor originalit y fun, and excitement the Blackjacks lay one bi g fart and deserve their fate in the hell of roo k n' roll obscurity . BIG BOYS'NOMATTER HOWLONG THE LINE ISATTHE CAFETERIA, THERE'S ALWAYS ASEAT!' (ENIGMA LP)-- The Big oys just couldn't do no wrong and thi s is a further testament to their greatness . A s to be expected this is the usual eclectic mixture of punk, funk, HC, post punk, and crazines s that we've all known to love . There's something seriously wrong with you, if you can't find some thing to sink your teeth into on this hot sla b of wax . tbig you E toP Big Time for releasing both hard o find Lime S p iders lustralian singles on this American long nlayer . The Spiders take 60's garage musi c to heights of uncontollable frenzy . . . yet they're music doesn't sound the least bit revivalist . . the y are more interested in kickin' out some hard , fast, furious jams . Plus they've got a guitar player that some metal bands would kill for . All thi s and some tasty pop licks too . . what more ooul d you ask for ? 'THIS IS THE DREAM" (SST LF)--- Finally De z p .C . gets 'his own band together! Fresh from a stin t with Redd Krose, and who can forget his presenc e in Black Flag (Henry may be a better frontman , but Dez was a far eunerior singer), Dez got together with Paul Roessler and some other cat on drums to record an LP that recalls "Machin e Head' era Purple among others . Call it what you want, this is a great hard rock album of the likes that hasn't been heard in ages . Chock ful l of inspired playin', interesting song structures , and Dez's p i p es the early 70's lude-rock reviva l is on the way . If you still get a rise out o f 'Highway Star' you need to own this . MY 3 SONS 'IN THE BEGINNING"/'STARVING ARTIST ' (BUY OUR EECO$ppSS71 )--- Sounds like a crummy No Trend with shitty production . Broken Talent could blow em away . (RIORoasette)--VARIOUS "WORLDCLASSPUN A Hunk comp compiled by Mykel Board of Art an d MRR fame) that features bands from a 1 over th e world . Side one consists of HC bands (sunrise ) while side two includes group s from the 'fringe of punk" who don't fit into a defined genre . The second side helps make this ta pe listenable .

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TROGGS 'BEST OF. . .'_ (RHINOLP)--- Best known for that garage staple, 'Wild Thing' . Although the y only had one other big American hit (a ballad ) they continued to churn out raunchy trashed ou t hits in their homeland, England . This LP compiles a number of their lust driven savage smashes like "I Can't Control Myself' and 'I Can Only Give Yon Everything" . Greatness of the highest caliber . DEL FUEGOS (SLASHLP)--- A critic's favorite whic h has me baffled cause I fail to see what all the excitement's over . Both here and from the time I saw them, the Del Fuegos appear to be a competen t but unexceptional R&R band. Their rich American roots are admirable but unlike similarly inspire d bands like the Leaving Trains and the Replacement s something gets lost in the translation . ShittCharli e Pickett and Co . on a bad night could blow em away ! Q 8YDVN 'THROB THROB' (ROM AD LP)--- One o oago s bast come through with a very hot LP . Ton this is full of vitality and originality and looks a moan wallop to boot . The production is als o boas so the distorted chargin' guitars ring true . (raked Rayaun are anon, the few that are transcendin g the RC genre . . .01 Y' .1 . 1 na y e ong awa e . oac o e a t at a s been regretably reduced to an EP, due to an unscrupulouF former band member who partied away $1200 o f the band's money . So what the fuck,we finally get 'Brooke Shields' on vinyl not to mention 5 othe r equally appetizing dishes . Yeah man . . this is real boss and bitchin' and you're a turd if you don' t agree . ($3 no to P .O .B. 4927 Pt . Lad, Fl . 33338 ) ARDUS COWBOY "HOCK-IT TO STARDOM " If you are not a contempt-barre l oe all amottled & hair acoat w/ cheese , then you will wander immediately towards a discern 1n' rec shop & purchase this disk . It is performed %WI one o' those truly rare persons whose gifts lie outside the walls o' civilization-as-we-knowit & whose eaterwaulin' can crease the heck outt a the elements, the gods & the listeners w/one fel l Swoop: Imagine a horrible cracked cousin o' Goobe r Pyle (other'n J . Nabors) singin' a bunchy songs eo-writ by Opie & Floyd the Barber at a Mayberr y Fireman's Pancake Lunch & ya still don't even begin t' get the picture . Injuns could kill ya for sayin' it, but this here rec has the spiritua l purity that white folks have achieved on scan t few occasions . The Shaggs had it Maureen Tucke r has it & so does the Cowboy . Booked by the Lero i Bros . he's the fir), hand o' Las Vegas reachin ' out t' squeeze yr (figurative) nuts (and/or coons ) u/thanhuman knowledge that lies equidistant 'twix t Jesse James & John Glenn . Don't wiggle-- he' s sggoDnna GIT YA! (POB 26265 Ft . Worth, TX 76116 ) (RZAON COLEY)

FREAK SHOW' LEN113!'411 TP nRTVERS 'Ox i1CS i re contagious fun from the Nip Drivers . This w s one of those records that's over before you kno .lit . HC It. The Nip Drivers are one of the bands that really sound alittle different . Their songs are all distinctive (nothing sounds alike ) and feature lots of cool time changes, nift y harmonies, and adept and highly spirited playing . Rut best of all is the band's sense of humou r t which really stands out . . . it's good to know tha . hot everyone these days takes themselves too son
lamely .

P .T . MARTYRS 'NARCOTICS IN THE CARPORT" (JE.TERROY cassette)--- The Martyrs have always remaine d in the shadow of Charlie Pickett, never obtainin g the recognition they deserve . Hopefully this tape will chancre that . While the Martyrs may lack th e sleaze anneal of the Eggs or Daisies, they aren' t exactly slouches in the rockin' out dent . Thi s tare just fits in real nice in the ole auto stereo , jammin' down I-95 feelin good & tough 6 so damn superior to everyone else cause while they be pretendin' to cook to wham!, Prince, We Are th e Boring, etc . . . you know better . You've got you r Martyrs tape and all the infinite wisdom tha t goes with it . You're cool daddy-o & you know it . (226 NE 5TH Av., Dania, Fl . 33004 ) RTICLES OF FAITH "GIVE THANKS" (REFLEX LP)-- Vic comes off as pious jerk t e what ifwhat Bondi needs someone alike Steve i n print? So if he Albini br Hblk Hogan to straighten his ass out ? This album is pretty choice and features som e tough agressive playin along with a handful o f whic catchy tunes . Production is by Bob Husker Du poll - h can only help . If you gotta have a rightous punk record this is the way to go! Mine didn' t even have a lyric sheet ! 'PUTRID EVIL" (7" riexi)--- Cool idea ! ex sampler . Clvil Dissident are un first , an OK HC outfit from Aussieland . Septic Deat h rsnresent the U .S .A . I find this band to be totally overrated . I doubt that if it wasn't for th e fact that it's Pushead's band folks wouldn't b e so quick to shower em with praise . They sound like everyone else doin' that type of music . Last bu t not least is the vinyl debut of the Stunids, a new hunch from the U .K ., who are one of the bes t RC outfits I've heard from the U .K . in ages . Fo r example "Slee ping Troubles" succesfully mixes the spirit of 77' with the power crunch of today . Over all Kai,' and Dig did a real fine job on this inexpensive sampler . SONIC YOUTH/LYDIA LUNCH 'DEATH VALLEY 69"/"BRAVE MEN RUN' (IRIDESCENCE 7")--- Hot sex vixen Lydia unc eama up w th Sonic Youth on this homage to the Manson clan . The sound quality kinds suck s (which Thurston assured me was out of his control ) but the nerformance is nothing short of stellar . 'Reath Valley 69' features that SY bumblebee caugh t in a wind tunnel guitar sound and the whole thin g is stunning, chilling, and you had ought to ge t this if ya want to be truly exrSerienced . ARNOLD CORNS A .K .A. DAVID BOWIE "MAN IN TH E MIDDLE " (KRAZY KAT12")---O .K .! Yeah! Bowi e and the pre-Spiders From Mars rock out mos t effectively on this bootleg(?) 12" recorde d in 1971 . Tasty guitar licks and easy going country-tinged tempos abound with Mr . Bowi e Corns doing some nice relaxed vocal work abov e it all . Especially interesting is the pre-Zigg y version of "Hang on to Yourself" which slaughter s the later recording . BUT . . .why didn't they includ e the version of "Moonage Daydream" recorded i n the same session? A good deal for collector s and casual fans alike . (Malcolm Tent ) NEWORDER "IOW-LIFE" (QWEST LP)--- I sure felt imoortant receiving an advance cassette cony o f the latest New Order LP weeks before it's release . It was a hit of a sunrise (although not much) t o see them on Quincy Jones' new '.JEA distributed label . Their new In continues to show the musical disintegration of a one-time Vital band . This is bet ter than the Simp le Minds or Bronski Beat but no t by much . lan Curtiss is better off dead, after all. VARIOUS"COVERS' (MYSTICLP)--- A cool concept . . a number of HC hands doin g some of their favorite cover tunes . Material ranges from Scared Straigh t doing 'Born to be Wild" to Love Canal's versio n of "Don't Talk to Me' . While I can do without a thrash version of 'Taking Care of Business" ther e are a couple of sunrises namely Government Issue' s wild version of 'Wild Blood' (Seeds) and Aci d Head's psychedelicized version of the Supremes ' 'Love Child" .

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cassette) EINSTURZEND E NEUBAUTEN "2 x 4" (RIOR music offers littl e --Most current industrial that's new or different fom the groundwork lave d by their forefathers (TO,`,PK, Cabaret Voltaire , etc . .) who did it better in the first place . e Muc h of this music is so self serving anyway (lik perkin g off) that it's point becomes meaningless . Einsturzende Neubauten is probably my favorite out of today's crop of sheet metal bangers . Thi s s live tare isn't their beat . The visual element i conspicuously missinm which adds that sense o f dancer which this music thrives on . You'd be better off to pick up one of their studio records or best yet, see em live . SEVEN SECONDS'THE CREW' (BYOLP)--- Neve r could figure out why these guys have the intense following they seem to have in certai n circles . The production is typ ically stiff an d songs like 'Bully" and 'What If There's War in America?' (real deer man!) are nothing to rav e about . So what's the point anyhow ?

THE FACTION "DARK ROAM" (JM 12" EP)-- - The Faction appear to he improving with time . Again a more concerned effort at songwritinr and more origina l arranrments seem to hold the key to success . Some of their new material reminds me of the Adolescents . ASBESTOS ROCKFYLE DYING OF A2NicER 1WARPT cassette ) --- Real varied stuff here ; Flinner/No Trend ty pe dama g e, psychedelica, art noise, etc . . . Asbesto s Rocknyle use these influnes and yet manage to retain their own individuality . Keen an eye on these guys they may be on to something . (FOB 1172 , Suitland, Md . 20746 ) REDD KROSS "TEEN RABFS FROM MONSANTO"(GASATANK A a2"EF)--- This record jams . It rocks out . It' s a mind blowing concept . . . the hist6ry of rock n ' roll as seen through the eves of the McDonald Bros . Roll over David Rowie and tell Gene Simmons th e newz .

JOHN KLAGES "IN A DREAM" (COYOTE 12" EP)_-_ John here is known-to-me-as-a-pal & may be known to yo u as a former member o' Hoboken's Individuals . Th e Indos were foundin' members o' NJ mod-pop hit squad &, like other members o' this contingent , Rlages is v . interested in harborin' & rresentin ' visions o' the world in the language called POP . Good p op , that is . Nice hard-strummed gtr line s roll out like pieces o' rich rich food, the drummin' o' Geo Hubley (now tendin' tubs for the in credible Yo La Tengo) shakes & pulses like Dave y Crockett's diz there's a sax that blends in fineas-fuck, etc . rRemoved from the shadow of ex-Indohead Glen Morrow, Klages lords o'er a wealthy king dom w/a firm hand & voice . More palatable & nleasin' than even the finest cheddar . Ole! (POB 112 , Uptown Hoboken, NJ 07030) (BYRON COLEY ) GOVERNMENT ISSUE "JOY RIDE'(FOUNTAINOFYOUTH LP ) I've always had a soft snot in my groin for thes e guys . Solid DC NC that features emotional singin' , playin', and song writin' . Their best produce d vinyl yet (never one of their strong points) althoug h nothing here quite lives up to the sheer awesomnes s of something like 'Teenager in a Box" . Still might y listenable . SCRATCH ACID 7 !4 1 A --- Rabid Cat is a relativley new la .l fro m exas that's documenting their scene wi, thes e .h releases from last year . Not For Sale is basicall y undistinctive HC . N .O .T .A . fares alittle wette r and oompares well with their other release fro m last year . However the real suprise here is th e debut 12' from Scratch Acid, which is the kind o f crazed lunacy we've come to expect from Texas bands . Scratch Acid's roots are in hardcore bu t they mix in liberal elements of metal, psychedelica , and Butthole Surfers type maddness . Yet this i s a solid coherent collection of songs that will ' appeal to people who can't relate to the more abstract nature of someone like the Buttholes . Th e production is solid and the band's execution i s tight and forceful . A must for all music fans!! ! 2" EP N.
"I :

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VARIOUS ARTISTS " ANIMALS FIGHT BACK " (REVOLUTIO N RECORDS CASSETTE)---Hey, all right! 90 minute s of pure Canada . Take that as you will, 'caus e this is a neat cassette comp . Probably nobody' s heard of the Demics, Zellots, Generics, Terminals , Hach Dem Tode, 10,000 Screaming Apaches, Bit s of Food, or Dormant Checker Effect around here . Well, it's time to hear of them! These band s and about 20 others deliver it all-from powerfu l pop to pulsating punk-from erg laden electronic s to wild weirdness . So why don't you send $ 4 to Revolution Records 21 King Street # 409 , London, Ontario, Canada NGA 5H3 and find out ! Hi Kevin and Colleen! (Malcolm Tent ) T TERM MEMQRY "EFF4QTS OF EXCESS" (FRES H $ $---_ Somethin' like a casebk example o f a rep hat's DONE v . hoppin' well, but still doesn't make my trouser blaze like a rum-soaked crook . What's here is excellently-crafted non-inane nondance non-novelty electro-pop performed by a tri o from Kansas . And when they can get off a riff that' s got claws lg enough t' pull itself entirely outta the el-pop genre (& a coupla riffs here do just that ) I like 'em Jim Effin' Dandy . But I've got such a deep-seated bias 'gainst el-pop-proper that th e rep 's ultimately hard for me t' like . Maybe not s o for ye . (POB 36, Lawrence, KS 66044) (BYRON COLEY ) VARIOUS ARTISTS DESPERATE TEENAGE LOVEDOLLS " (TASATANKALP)--- The soundtrack LP to the bea t movie of 1954 which I've seen no less than 1 0 Limes! Well lets of the tunes here aren't in th e flick and most of the rest are available else where but need not fret cause there's plenty t o get excited about . Like the Ni p Drivers loin ' a bang un version of 'Fox on the Run' . . . . or th e title hit by Redd Kross who. also nrovide . with an unreleased ditty, 'Le g end' in that unmistakable style of theirs . Of special note are the two cuts by the much dreamt about, Plaid Flag , the supergroup consisting of Redd Kross, Whit e Flag , and Greg Hetson . 'Hot Bitch (With an Electri c Guitar)" in p articular features profound conciou s raising lyrics . Yeah!!!!! !
?ARTY8074_40 AGGRO' (INDEPENDNT PROJECT LP )

Bruce icher may be a fan o' some real shabb y music (I 'serviced" him on numerous occasions as a rim Store clerk), but as a label head he's gott a gnat-hot ear . And w/this ear he hears stuff tha t I, for the life o' me, can't . Or somethin' . What ever the case is he & his label're able t' re lease rocs by bands-that-I-don't-really-care-for whioh somehow become re p s-I-like . A namby-pamby alchemy perhaps, but the last time I aiw th e Party Boys I liked 'em only a tad more'n I ha d Kommunity FK (who put me 100% t' sleep once whe n they opened for 13 .13) . But this rep 's OK . It s functional-yet-snazzy pkgin' grabs yr li'l ears , nulls yr head inside the sleeve, & once there : POW! Sounds Rule, OK? Los PB's describe thei r sound as "friendly industrial' & that may wel l be their actual sentiment, but In don't reall y hear the grunt of industry here so much as I do the but, o' friendliness & the sigh of art . So I guess they're wrong . Hardly makes 'em loser s though & this DOES have a aorta s p erimental (' r rrhps, I guess, "just" arty) edge t o it, but it' s more like somewhat danceable slightly noisy rock stuff'n it is the screechin' o' metal bum s elidin' o'er G . Pooridge's tongue . Just wha t the butt makes anything " Industrial" though? I dunno & I guess if ye liked industype stuf f you'd haveta be an ass t' not like this . S o maybe 'tis . Hmm . Best song for jackin' up yr oar : "White Trash" . (POB 60357, LA, CA 90060) (BYRO N COLEY )

MORTAL MICRONOTE 'LIVE EP" (FRESH 7"EP)-- - Band s like the Micronotz are so refreshing nowadays . They retain the energy and Dower of HC withou t any of it's narrow minded cliches . Powerful roc k n' roll that stays true to it's garage minde d aesthetics .

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PROFILE S
(Pronounced "Golden Showers"! )
HOME : Palm Beach Baby ! AGE : Older than you think . PROFESSION : Hard lovin' assholes, revelin' i n idiocy and immaturity . HOBBIES : Hating punks and queers . . . hangin' ou t with Pat Fear . . . goin' to John Birch summer cam p . . . endorsing Ronald Reagan . LAST BOOK READ : Milk ; It's a Natural (A Guide t o Breast Feeding ) LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT : Realising their goal as th e laziest band in America . QUOTE : "We know we don't like girls, and we'r e quite fond of each other, but we've never kisse d or anything . We're nuter, we have no sex at all ! " PROFILE : Obnoxious . Rich (and proud of it) . Havin g mastered the "Immaturity Code of Honor for Anarchy" , they can now lay a fart and bask in milk . Don' t wait for these guys to nlay your town, cause the y won't show . BEER : Golden Showers!

Ken Decter of F