TOUGH SKIN

Sarah Eaton

BlazeVOX [books]
Buffalo, New York

TOUGH SKIN by Sarah Eaton Copyright 2010 Published by BlazeVOX [books] All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without the publishers written permission, except for brief quotations in reviews. Printed in the United States of America Book design by Geoffrey Gatza Cover art by Sarah Jackson-Moore First Edition ISBN: 9781935402619 Library of Congress Control Number 2009910014 BlazeVOX [books] 303 Bedford Ave Buffalo, NY 14216 [email protected]

\
publisher of weird little books

BlazeVOX [ books ]
blazevox.org 2 4 6 8 0 9 7 5 3 1

TOUGH SKIN

What I Claim as my Invention

Part One: The time-traveling inventor alternately contemplates suicide and torture while his blood baby slumps unattractively.

Duty Spurts. It is not my fault. Be it forever known that your protection has been foremost in my mind; these hands guided by blond toddlers, this mouth, unseeing, seeks no rewards. From one orifice to the next, your best interests are mine. It is not my fault those interests dip to the gaping crevices between stitches in the seams. My intent remains, unwaveringly: To prevent any looseness of the jaws even after long continued use1. Duty doesnt always call. Sometimes it spurts or jerks. Sometimes it burns. Delicate, as have I often heard the skin revered. Also animal soft. Also hot. Scarring reduces sensitivity. Fire victims, overwhelmingly, have less than satisfactory intimate connections. Someone did a study once. Your mother told me it would do you good to be a little less sensitive, but she is a cruel woman, and I am not about to start listening to her. Flinch not away from my blue flame.

E Pietz et al Forceps, Filed April 15, 1922 (1,510,416) 17

Worms Plus Oatmeal Teeth are the last thing I need coming at me. The first: To close blood vessels, to prevent bleeding.2 Letting of blood is still fashionable, but in the future leeches will become novelty delicacies, gently sucking the tongues of epicures before sliding esophageal-wise.

A certain degree of relative play3 is expected. So lets hop to it, Peaches.

2 3

E Pietz et al Forceps, Filed April 15, 1922 (1,510,416) Ibid. 4 Ibid. 5 Ibid. 18

My Skittery Moon Pies Scalp Oozes Gold In the future, there is something called self-esteem. Ever so fragile, ever so light, its almost like a soul or something else imaginary. Humans are hollow in construction6; there is a lot of air in there, and at the center spins a single onyx orb. Render the ball sluggish7. Then get busy with some pincers and a blow torch. Blow torches are from the future, dear. Common uses include carmelizing brules and searing off faces. Shrink not away, my skittery moon pie. The roughening might be omitted8, depending strictly on the efficacy of my potion. Elixirs I have eschewed in the past, disparaging them as the tools of crazy-coiffed beaker fanatics. But, a certain ringletted floozie twisted my arm, and here we are. Drink it or Ill pour it up your nose. Expect this: These pimples are distributed all over the surface9 of your scalp. No one will be able to see or feel them but you. The best part is, when squeezed, these pimples ooze molten gold covered in pus. To uncover the gold, simply roll the pus ball around in your cheek until it tastes more tangy than salty. Et voila.

6 7

W L Eaton Practice Golf Ball, Filed May 4, 1922 (1,483,165) Ibid. 8 Ibid. 9 Ibid. 19

Might Mean Something Else Entirely I would never drive another to suicide. Would it be just as bad to watch your old da use his toe as index finger and splat his way onto wallpaper? Forget it. Be it gutta-percha, rubber, celluloid, wood, or treated paper10, your silly poppy makes a better addition as an absence. Besides, I have never met a rifle that can best me. I wish to inflict. Pop those zits, suck those globes, drop that gold. Now, run across the little beads; it will conjure such a humorous tableau. Peaches, you look like a lollipop with wheels for legs! My ticker, my cage; methinks its high blood pressure. Thats what happens when people pump this cuff around your bicep tight, and then you get the wrong numbers. Watch out, and it might happen to you, too, one day. But you bruise easily. That might mean something else entirely. Like cancer. Here: Practice swinging the club11. Your muscles may have atrophied, but I have to tell you, I am downright excited about death, be it mine or yours or anyone elses. The future doesnt hold any answers as to whether we float on clouds or flames lick our secret places or nothingness or whatever. Oh, there is speculation aplenty. Of all kinds. About everything. In the future. But, irreverence protects us.

10 11

W L Eaton Practice Golf Ball, Filed May 4, 1922 (1,483,165) Ibid.

20

Your Countenance Resembled Slime Have I told you the story of your conception? Each child should know the miracle of union. You were made in such a manner12 that we presupposed our coupling should produce one retarded, and one therefore that does not travel far13. Not only were we upside-down and backwards, but also inside-out. Our capillaries joined and suckled, eventually spitting up what I came to refer to as a blood baby. Initially, your countenance resembled slime. In other hands you would have been miscarriage, but I know the truth. The answer isNurture! Sans loving soul kisses and needle and thread, you would have been pulp. And pulp hasnt consciousness. A dog would have eaten you. You would have preferred it? Let me tell you a story: In the future, chickens beaks will be sliced off with a red hot soldering iron so they do not peck their own flesh and the flesh of others held in close quarters, but it is far, far better that those chickens were allowed to breathe their breaths. Whether they could not eat, whether they became food themselves. You are a beakless chicken, Peaches, but you are alive. You are strong enough to stand up under the usage to which you are to be put.14

12 13

W L Eaton Practice Golf Ball, Filed May 4, 1922 (1,483,165) Ibid. 14 Ibid. 21

Detoxification Requires Commitment Like all beings, you are limited. Ive found a way to push past what might have caused others to wallow and slow, but to nudge you to this point would only cause your muscles to snap and your limbs hang useless. This is the time when we are both tested. Some might say by God, but you and I both know God does not interfere. This is when we ascertain the degree of trust that hovers betwixt us. You were made by me, and I shall unmake you. However, not right now. Trust me?

The wet mop is inserted.15 Relax your throat, allow the cloth tentacles to massage cilia and membrane alike. This is an ancient preparatory practice.
You bathe your skin once a year; what makes you think your other organs should escape scrubbing? Unfortunately, it is not so easy as a deadened gag reflex and a double-hinged jaw. How will we ever reach your liver?

15

F A Eaton Mop Wringer, Filed April 10, 1922 (1,452,798)

22

Neither Innie nor Outie Another tale: You were born a glob. Construction ensued. Your mother spoke of dolls and panels screwed. She treated you as porcelain because you were, partly. After your making, she achieved nothing but sadness. A woman once proud to stand behind podiums, unafraid to speak nonsense or enter into fisticuffs, she stooped over you, removing a back that slides as a whole16, ladeling waste and nutrition in and out by turns, you resting on your belly sighing with contentment. For her, not you, I stitched skin. I made a costume to bring her back and ease the burden that was a child so breakable. For her, not you, I excavated and stripped, I undid dones and chose only the supplest flesh. She insisted that I take care with your torso, that your brain be lovingly encased, that greater pressure on the upper part17 would result in harm. Franklydont take this the wrong wayit might have been better if my incomplete and ununiform18 sewing failed. Long story short: You dont have a liver. Nor, my dear, have you sexual organs. I think of you as a girl because you are weak. So when I see a shaft is journalled19 in your sketchpad, I think it appropriate, sweetie. You are neither innie, nor outie, but its only natural that you make attempts to shoehorn your self, as it were, into the constructs of society. I will obscure your vision with black muslin, and things will become easier for you, Peaches.

16 17

F A Eaton Mop Wringer, Filed April 10, 1922 (1,452,798) Ibid. 18 Ibid. 19 Ibid. 23

No Self-respecting Fox Would Wear a Nurses Cap I blame your mother. When she passed on, I really thought I was free to pursue all kinds of mad scientist-type activities, but the more tears I shed, the less I thought about cutting off your head and putting it in a jar. Had I everything to do all over again, these are the things I would change: you, me, your mother. The art of dressing you has always eluded me. My urge to clothe you in burlap and hair shirts tends to overwhelm parental tenderness. But not today, my sweet. Youre drooling quite fetchingly. I shall drape you in pervious walls through which the air can readily pass20. You are like a worm, coiled and dried to jerky. You are like a seafood salad made only of squid tentacles. I shall dress you in mayonnaise and a light spritz of lemon. I shall drape around your neck an amulet of ink that releases on contact. Peaches, it is only so I will know if your lips have traversed beyond the cage that holds them. Lips touch, blood spills, attraction/repulsion; next thing you know knickers are everywhere but on your bum. Even if youre fragmentarily indicated, the curtains being rolled up in open position21, males lap and yowl at anything that resembles meat.

20 21

C Eaton Food Safe, Filed April 4, 1922 (1,411,272) Ibid.

24

You Are Seriously Unattractive Have you the patience for one more tale? I always dreamed to sire a fox instead of a child. Theyre almost certainly the missing link between cats and dogs, and, though I have not had the pleasure to observe one in close quarters, I quite suspect them of possessing cinnamon-scented saliva and a wild penchant for ripping out throats. I tremble. Thusly, Peaches, you are heavily loaded with articles of food and readily suspended from a tree22. Logic follows: A fox with its canine appetite will be unable to resist you and shimmy up the trunk. Its feline nature will rise, and it will find itself quite unable to cogitate a solution for quitting the tree. I swoop in, collect it, teach it to walk upright and wear adorable sailor suits. It will be a vast improvement on you. I quite imagine thats something every father has said to his child at one point or another; theres no need to look so downtrodden. Injury will likely be incurred. Foxes are nippy. I am anticipating blood. The sack in which you are clothed is thus constructed that it may be readily laundered23. Also, I wont have to climb the tree to get you down, due to the downward collapsing of the floor24 of your cage. Tent. Tent. I will catch you as you fall. I will suckle you. I will perch upon your canid brothers head a nurses cap, and he shall sit beside you, occasionally raising a vixens wail as you drift in and out of existence. No self-respecting fox would wear a nurses cap. No creature would ever find you attractive enough to come close enough to catch.

22 23

C Eaton Food Safe, Filed April 4, 1922 (1,411,272) Ibid. 24 Ibid. 25

This Den Is Closed

Inserted through the open end25, I have placed sustenance.

25 26

C Eaton Food Safe, Filed April 4, 1922 (1,411,272) Ibid.

26