WITH MONSTERS by Robert Herzog

FADE IN: ON A MAN IN A MONSTER MASK. No sense of time or place. Hes uncomfortably close. His nightmarish face imposes, fills all, offers no escape. Every grim contour and shade on display. Lines creep across the surface. Layers twist. Features sink in. Only loving craftsmanship could make a face so perfectly awful. Authentic fangs jut. They threaten to rip and tear. They fill a mouth thats stretched impossibly wide and itching to bite. The man observes quietly behind his mask, and then He HUMS. BARELY AUDIBLE at first, but it grows steadily to a pitch that is LOUD, URGENT, and ANXIOUS. Like an old Saturday night horror flick soundtrack, just before the screaming starts. Anticipation grows. Uneasiness prevails. Then silence. MASKED MAN We havent been introduced. His humming resumes momentarily, then fades. MASKED MAN Let me warn you: this is my first time doing this. Im especially nervous. Am I properly fitted? The mask quivers. A tiny shift of the heavy skin. MASKED MAN Im a software specialist. I manage implementation and outsourcing. I work downtown. Im a homeowner. My name is Dennis. You and I should meet. Am I identifiable? (Shrugs) I want to resume an active dating life, so please consider me for companionship. Dead silence

2 INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT A complete view emerges. The man sits and films himself. He wears a black T-shirt with GREASER ablaze in orange across his chest. He pulls off his mask with an air of drama. Meet DENNIS GERBATCH, 38, an average looking fellow, slightly goateed. Walls behind him are blanketed with monster masks and horror posters. The MASKED MAN is henceforth known as DENNIS. DENNIS I never envisioned myself as a webcast dater, but my social life has been dormant. He looks at the mask in his hand. Holds it up. DENNIS Sorry for removing this so soon, but if I keep it on too long I get internal condensation. What else do you want to know? Im domesticated. I cook. I recently installed new appliances, including an airspeed oven. My specialty is berry cobbler with brown sugar. I watch television. I draw. I eat. I can hum. Thats the extent of it. (He looks down at his mask) And theres also my enthusiasm for horror. You could say Ive got a tiny problem with collecting and storing. Ive improved, but horror is definitely winning. I sometimes wear costumes, so thats fair warning for you. I have an inventory of just over 2,000 masks, plus soundtracks and memorabilia. He abruptly reveals a cell phone cued up to play music. He hits play and points the camera at his wall of horror paraphernalia. Horror soundtrack MUSIC flows. Faces flash: A demon, a clown, a vampire, something with many eyes, a pirate, a woman with a hideous grin, a swamp creature, a two-headed man, a shadowy figure.

3 He sets the camera back. Music off. DENNIS Theres more: I live in a house of supposed paranormal involvement. I dislike the term haunted, but theres some recorded evidence and documentation. My home is a graystone mansion constructed in 1893 here in the city. Maybe my supernatural visitor would like to make its presence felt right now on camera. He quiets. Odd stillness prevails. Expectancy grows. Finally DENNIS Is there someone or something here with us in this room? More quiet. The masks flash again: a wolf man, a wizard, a hobo with a large cigar drooping from his mouth, a cyclops. DENNIS OK. Nothing. Sorry. My visitor seems to be on hiatus. Am I too far adrift? Obviously, my interests dont make me compatible with many women. The truth is, Im 38 years old, and I cant stop buying monster masks. Please help me. Im all alone, but Im attachable. (Puts mask back on face) Heres the bottom line: with me, what you see is what you get. He resumes the humming from earlier, but adds a point. DENNIS Oh yeah, if you have kids, you probably should consider somebody else. Thanks. He hums briefly. The picture fades. His dating video ends. Dennis turns off his camera. Removes the mask. Sets it down. Shrugs.

4 DENNIS (speaking to his mask) Was I loud and clear? (awaits response that never comes) Should I cook something up? INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT MONTAGE DENNIS WORKS IN KITCHEN --Dennis cooks eggs in a skillet. A modern and sleek kitchen. Everything new and spotless. No hint of horror items. --He places the eggs on a plate, carefully sprinkles seasonings, arranges it so the eggs sit beautifully on the plate, eats. --Puts the plate into a dishwasher. Wipes his hands. Cleans. All is immaculate. Leaves the kitchen. INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT Stark contrast with the kitchen. This room has worn wallpaper and a few large holes, revealing slats. Masks hang everywhere on the walls. Drawings of monsters are alongside. Dennis sits at the table and picks up a tablet of drawing paper. He flips and continues a previously started sketch. He draws INSERT DRAWING A figure with a deathly face, large open mouth with no lips and ugly teeth, a dark top hat, and extremely long fingers. Awkwardly posed. This subject is RONALD LONG LANG or LIPLESS BACK TO SCENE Dennis sketches carefully. Fully absorbed. Drawings hanging on the wall flash into view. All show Long Lang with the extra long fingers. Langs name is on each drawing. INSERT DRAWINGS --Lang standing in a hallway. Menacing. --Hes seated for dinner. A bloody meal on his plate. --Hes hiding under a bed.

5 --Hes in a closet. His fingers jut out. --Hes ripping some poor soul to shreds. Gushing blood. --He sits on the toilet. --He makes an obscene gesture. BACK TO SCENE INT. OFFICE - NIGHT More posters, masks. Theres also a bulletin board filled with research into the haunted house, including an obituary for Ronald Lang and snapshots of dark rooms and shadowy figures. Orbs of light are circled. Ancient newspaper. Murder stories. Dennis sits at computer. Pays bills. Bored. He goes to monster mask website. Scrolls around. Groans in disgust. Walks away. EXT. PORCH - NIGHT Dennis waters plants that hang from his front porch. Meticulous. His house comes into view: An urban mansion. Partially dilapidated. Ivy creeps up dark stone. Two imposing columns. An archway. Overgrown vegetation. A pair of pondering chipped gargoyles. An iron gate. CRICKETS CHIRP. A lonesome BIRD CRIES. Dennis waters his last plant and heads inside. INT. KITCHEN NIGHT Dennis puts cookie dough on a baking sheet. Applies cookie cutter: windmill shaped. Everything into oven. INT. WORKROOM - NIGHT Dennis repairs an old reel-to-reel projector: the kind teachers used in the 60s and 70s. Tightens screws. Flicks a switch. REELS ROLL. A flood of light projects onto the wall. A movie starts. Its a musical. A couple CHEERFULLY SINGS, but their faces distort because they project on a rough wall and not a screen. They appear sinister. Dennis turns away from these images to tinker with the machine. Turns back. Watches. Closes his eyes.

Now the projector is in new light. It plays the same old movie, but this time, Long Lang appears. Lurches. Long fingers drag. Lang takes over the screen. Close. Breathing. His face also distorted against the old bricks. The cheerful MUSIC THROBS. Dennis opens his eyes. Lang is gone. Just singers. Dennis ponders. Turns off projector. Rolling canisters WHEEZE TO HALT. INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT He removes the cookies. Places them in a container. Frowns. INT. BASEMENT STAIRWELL - NIGHT Dennis flicks a light switch, which barely illuminates the stairwell. Stairs creak underneath him as he moves down. INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT Filled with horror memorabilia, including: --Several mannequins. No clothing. They wear masks. --Various monster sculptures. --A large, plastic coffin with a pumpkin-headed doll inside. A headstone sits near the coffin. --A Christmas tree. He bypasses these things and heads for the coal bin. The wooden door is peeling industrial green paint. Halfway open. Menacing. Dennis studies the door carefully. Checks the hinges. Places his finger against the side. Peers into the darkness beyond door. DENNIS If youre in there, good night. Dont let the bed bugs bite. No response from the dark. INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT He brushes his teeth. Hangs brush on zombie holder.

7 INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT Dennis is in bed. Watches a late night talk show. The digital clock reads 11:45. Shuts off the TV. Denniss soft breathing is heard. A floorboard creeks. A pipe knocks. Nothing out of the ordinary. Settling. EXT. FRONT OF HOUSE - NIGHT Another view of the front. The vines and bushes rustle slightly in the breeze. Wind chimes on the front porch clink softly. The chimes are shaped like tiny skeletons. Time passes. INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT Denniss clock reads 2:33 a.m. Hes wide awake. A slight BANG sounds from somewhere in the house. Dennis gets out of bed. Throws on sweat pants. He heads down the creaky stairs in the dark. Shadows grow. INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT This rooms walls are covered with masks. He looks up at them. DENNIS OK, who made the noise? Thats funny, right? The masks face Dennis with frozen snarls and grimaces. The slightest NOISE sounds. A SLURP? Barely perceptible. DENNIS Should I go downstairs? INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT Dennis stands before the coal bin door. Then pushes door open. DENNIS Dont worry. Its just me. Just checking things out.

8 INT. COAL BIN - NIGHT Dimly lit. We see: --exposed ancient brick. Gray. Cold. --tree roots growing through cracks in the wall. --spider webs, dirt, small debris, cracked floor pavement. There is a CLICK. A pull chain. An overhead bulb sparks to life, providing some light. But one corner is still shadowy Theres a silhouetted figure in that corner. Long fingers, Top hat. Its LONG LANG. Dennis approaches slowly. He reaches Long Lang and rolls him out. It is a life-sized statue that sits on rollers. Its a crude model built of old mannequin parts and masks. The fingers extend unnaturally. DENNIS You look sloppy. Lang stares at him with menace. Dennis dusts off his suit coat and rearranges his fingers so that they have greater extension. DENNIS This is really shoddy. Am I neglecting? Dennis maneuvers the Lang statue. Theres a small CREAK of the door hinge. Might have moved slightly. Dennis springs to it. DENNIS OK. I heard that. Is it nothing? Is this nothing or something? Something? He turns to Lang, who stares ahead grimly. Dennis finds a lawn chair in corner and unfolds it. He sits. Watches. After a moment, he turns to the statue. DENNIS Do you mind if I observe for a moment? In case its something. Dennis sits quietly. Time passes. He stares at door. It doesnt move. He turns to Lang.

9 DENNIS Im thinking about adding almonds to my glaze. Am I enhancing? No response. DENNIS I made windmill cookies. No nuts. Ill bring them to work tomorrow. Is it silly that Im down here? Dennis reaches out to the statue and pulls a draw string near its ribcage. Lang speaks. LANG (Tinny, mechanical voice) Im coming for you. Dennis pulls the string again. LANG You cannot escape me. The device is similar to what one would find on a talking baby doll. Dennis seems satisfied with hearing the voice. They sit in the dingy coal bin and more time passes. --Dennis paces. --He fusses with his statue. --He pulls out a paddleball on a string from the corner of the room. The ball initially BEATS rhythmically on the wood, but Dennis misses and sideswipes as he grows more tired. He drops it in frustration. Turns to his statue. DENNIS How did we get to this point, Ronald Lang? He paces. DENNIS Do something. Scare me. (He waits. The room is quiet) OK. Fine. Lets go with a joke then: Guy buys a paranormal house. Ghosts dont hurt him, but the mortgage and upkeep do. Get it?

10 Dennis moves out of view. Only Lipless Lang is seen. Denniss BREATHING and FOOTSTEPS are heard, along with some RUMMAGING. Then the sound of a PULLCHAIN. The light goes out. Only the faint glow of a bulb elsewhere in the basement illuminates Lipless Lang, but hes mostly shadow. Dennis is still moving around somewhere in the dark. Then comes the sound of the DRAW STRING and Langs TINNY VOICE. LANG Im coming for you. More SHUFFLING. Then Dennis SCREAMS. Not just an ordinary scream, but one that rattles the soul. It ricochets around the empty coal bin. It goes on for an absurdly long period. Lang glares in our vision the whole time. AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhAhhhhhhh. AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhAhhhhhhh. AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhAhhhhhhh. Absolute terror. Silence. Is Dennis alive? Theres a click. Light returns. Hes unharmed, but frustrated. DENNIS How long have I been down here? A long time, right? And I just cant believe (His tone lightens a degree) I cant believe that this has become so serious to me. Being down here has become a thousand times more serious to me than Id have ever, ever expected, and I dont know why. And the cookies I baked tonight, of course, were misshapen and they just look really sad. I heard noises tonight, right? No response. No activity. Complete quiet. Resigned, Dennis grunts and rolls Lang back into the corner. Folds up his chair. Places it against the wall. Looks back at Lang. His anger fades.

11 DENNIS This is goofy, right? This is skipping around the birdhouse with the peach basket, isnt it? He picks up his paddleball and gives a failed swipe at the ball. He goes back to Langs corner and speaks intimately to his ear. DENNIS You saw my video right? My dating video? It needs work, but so does everything else. If theres no activity in here, then Ill find some out there. Is that cool? Lang looks on. Dennis turns out the light. Pulls the door almost closed. A thin light from elsewhere in the basement gives the faintest illumination. The shadows from Langs long fingers extend across the old bricks. And very gradually The HINGES GROAN. The door moves a quarter inch on its own. Total darkness prevails. Theres a soft chewing sound. Then silence. SUPER: SEVERAL WEEKS LATER INT. APARTMENT BEDROOM - NIGHT A completely different part of town. Its dark, but a door bursts open, letting in light. A silhouetted figure appears in the doorway. It is distorted and scary at first, but then a womans figure comes into focus. The bedroom light snaps on revealing SANDRA HAGEN, 34, as the figure in the doorway. Sandra is petite and pretty. She has short hair, a satin blouse, and a leather jacket. She carries a tall glass of wine: Tipsy. CARRIE LEE, 35, sleeps. Shes a little chubby, long-haired, and fatigued. A dozen Teddy bears share her bed. She and wears sweat pants and a faded Lobsterfest T-shirt from a restaurant. SANDRA (whispering) Wakey Wakey.

12 Carrie is disoriented. Groans. Looks around. Moves her lips, but nothing comes out. SANDRA Wakey Wakey. Ive found something good online. CARRIE (Croaks) I was asleep. SANDRA Sorry, OK. But this is too perfect. It cant wait until breakfast. Carrie looks around. Croaks. CARRIE Were you out? SANDRA Well, I dont know if that qualified as going out, but never mind about that. I need you to get up. Ive struck oil with this one. Carrie stares blankly up at the ceiling. Sandra grabs her by the hand and pulls. Sandra falls. Spills wine. Resumes pulling. SANDRA Get out of bed, ya hag. Ive found you a man. INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT The two women stare at a laptop. Sandra beams. Carrie droops. Dennis is on it, wearing his mask. Its his webcast video. They watch it as it ends. SANDRA Doesnt that kill? I mean, not literally, but maybe. Its kind of sexy, I think. She points the computer camera at herself and starts typing at her laptop. She smoothes her hair, sips wine, laughs.

13 CARRIE No. Are you kidding me? Its a joke. Sandra makes a few preparations and then speaks into the camera. SANDRA Dennis. That was sensational! Bravo. (Claps. Sips wine) Bravo. Im Sandra. My friend is Carrie. Were highly intrigued. Maybe youd like to meet us when you arent too busy slaughtering teenagers. (She gulps remaining wine) OK. Heres how it works: Carrie and I operate as a team, meaning we go on dates together. Im fun and she knows karate, in case theres any funny business. So that makes us the perfect combo. Here let me put Carrie on. She tries to grab Carrie and drag her into picture. There is the sound of struggle in the background. SANDRA (O.S.) Dammit youre strong Finally, Carrie flashes into view. CARRIE Im so sorry about this. Sandra shoves her aside. Takes her place in the picture. SANDRA (Shakes her head) Stop. Strike that comment from the record. Why would you apologize? Dennis, just disregard her for the moment. We want to take you out for drinks and run our fingers through your hair. I personally prefer wine over blood, which I hope isnt a problem. Think it over. Get back soon.

14 She reaches to turn off the camera, but decides to make one more comment into the camera. She whispers. SANDRA Please dont kill any teenagers without us. The camera cuts out. Sandra stands before the computer. She pours another glass of wine and beams proudly. CARRIE I cant believe you said that. Sandra only smiles. Carrie opens the refrigerator and pours a glass of milk. She nods to her friend. CARRIE Bottoms up, nag. (She downs the milk) Do you have any other bad ideas? If not Im going back to sleep. Sandra smirks. Tips her glass toward Carrie. INT. BEDROOM NIGHT Sitting at her beds edge, Carrie takes a deep breath and holds it. Her cheeks bulge. Her face reddens. She holds her breath for an impossibly long period of time before falling backward onto her pillow. All goes black. INT. BLACKENED ROOM - NIGHT Lipless Lang stands before us. His fingers stretch to impossible lengths. He lurches forward. Gets a bit too close. Backs up. Takes off his stovepipe hat. Takes a bow. Stares into the camera. He backs up to reveal a film projector, the same one seen before. He flips a switch. The REELS set in motion. We hear the GEARS. A film shows. The quality is grainy. Just like those old school movies. The following events are shown in this film:

15 SUPER: Noises in My Room: Starring Dennis, Age 10. INT. BOYS BEDROOM - NIGHT YOUNG DENNIS, 10, holds a record. Hes in pajamas. The film has a narrator. We never see this person, but his voice is dark and weird. Perhaps it is the voice of Lipless Lang himself, back when he had lips. NARRATOR (V.O.) Let me tell you a little about our friend Dennis. Youve been watching him for only a short time, but weve watched him his whole life. We are his monsters. The ones who live in shadows, daydreams, and nightmares. We sometimes find our way into the physical world. We are always close and getting closer. We want to show you Dennis at age ten. His auntie gave him a recording called Scary Sounds to Listen to in the Dark. This is how it starts. Young Dennis places the needle on the record. It rotates. Horrible sounds emit. GASPS. FOOTSTEPS. DRIPS. HEAVY BREATHING. Young Denniss face shows both horror and fascination. NARRATOR (V.O.) The record frightened Dennis, but he couldnt stop playing it. That was the moment when Dennis started loving us. And oh how we loved him back. Ohhhhhhhhhh. INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT Young Dennis sleeps in his bed. Quiet. Dark. A shadow moves in his room. A floorboard creaks. Moments pass. The quiet room abruptly fills with sound: CLANKS, desperate BREATHING, RATTLING CHAINS, HOWLING WINDS.

16 Denniss small record player revolves and emits these terrible noises. Its the sound effects record. Young Dennis reluctantly gets out of bed. In the darkness, he approaches the record player. Horrible sounds emit. He is both desperate to turn it off and frightened to touch it. Slowly he reaches his hand to the switch and kills the sound. It groans to a stop. He hurries back to bed and pulls the covers over his head. Moments later, the record starts up again. Young Dennis doesnt want to face it again, but gets out of bed. Approaches cautiously, and turns it off. He looks to his closet. Was there a sound there? He moves closer. A SHADOWY FIGURE BURSTS FROM THE CLOSET, roaring and moving directly to Dennis. It picks him up and drags him to the closet. Young Dennis SCREAMS, but the dark man has him in his clutches. He pulls him into the closet and SLAMS THE DOOR. The ominous door stays in view. And then young Dennis bursts out. A shadowy hand reaches in vain. Dennis runs to his bed and covers his head. The film ends with a black screen. NARRATOR (V.O.) Now, wasnt that fun? But Dennis woke up in his bed the next morning. He thought it was a dream. It wasnt. We let him get away. We wanted to eat him later. INT. BLACK ROOM - NIGHT Lipless Lang turns off the projector. His head starts to swell. It fills like a balloon. Larger and larger. It fills everything. And then it bursts.

17 BACK TO PRESENT TIME. INT. BEDROOM DAY Denniss alarm goes off. He was asleep in his bed. His sketch pad sits on his chest. He rubs his eyes and turns on the radio. MONTAGE A NEW DAY FOR DENNIS --Dennis gets out of bed. --He pours himself a bowl of Count Chocula in his kitchen. --He puts on a tie. Looks professional and clean. A new man. --He brushes the hair of one of his monster masks. --He combs his own hair using the same comb used on the mask. --He wraps a bunt cake in nice packaging. --He gets into his car, a black luxury car. He looks impressive behind the wheel. Hes not some horror geek, but a true professional. --He drives to a small pond. --He takes bits of bread and feeds the ducks. Quiet moment. --He returns to his car and drives to work. --He types at a computer in an office. His desk is immaculate. Not a hint of horror movie items. --He eats an elaborate salad at the workplace lunch table. Women have an animated conversation at the table next to him. INT. LUNCHROOM - DAY DENNIS (To the women) I brought some cake. (Offers it to them) WOMAN 1 Sorry. Not today. They couldnt be more disinterested, and go on talking as if Dennis was not in the room. Dennis takes the cake and places it on a side table, next to a whole host of uneaten treats. INT. OFFICE DESK - DAY --Dennis goes over paperwork. --He works on his computer.

18 --He checks his webcast dating site. Sandra appears. --He looks shocked. Goes to his office door and closes it. Goes back to review the screen. Just as he starts to hear her message, a knock sounds. Dennis jumps and scrambles to turn off the computer. Denniss OFFICE MANAGER enters. She is in her 50s, speaks carefully and pleasantly, and wears a business suit. OFFICE MANAGER Dennis, may I see you in my office for a moment? DENNIS (A bit flustered) Sure. INT. MANAGERS OFFICE DAY She smiles at Dennis before delivering the news. OFFICE MANAGER Dennis, we love the great treats you bring in every morning. You do such a wonderful job, and we appreciate your generosity. DENNIS Thank you. OFFICE MANAGER But we need to you scale back. DENNIS (Confusion) Oh. Dennis clicks a ball point pen in his hand. OFFICE MANAGER What Im saying is, you bake more than we can eat, and it createswell, things pile up. DENNIS Oh.

19 OFFICE MANAGER Wed love you to continue to bring in treats, but not daily. Lets stick to special occasions. DENNIS I understand. (He clicks the pen again) OFFICE MANAGER And one more thing. Im going to recommend that you not place treats on the desks of co-workers unless they specifically request it. Please dont take it the wrong way. We love your treats. DENNIS What do you mean by taking it the wrong way? (Two pen clicks) Some with desk sure OFFICE MANAGER people just arent comfortable treats being left on their if they are unrequested. Im you understand.

DENNIS Am I making people uncomfortable? (Two pen clicks) OFFICE MANAGER No. It just creates expectations. A sense of obligation. Not everyone wants sweets. DENNIS I can make a vegetable dip. Is that preferable? More pen clicks from Dennis. OFFICE MANAGER All treats should go in the break-, room, not on the desks of individual employees. Thats our policy.

20 DENNIS (Thinks. Two pen clicks) Not a problem. Do you really have a policy? I find that unusual. OFFICE MANAGER We do. And we love your treats. DENNIS I wont harass the office with muffins anymore. The manager opens her mouth to speak, but we dont hear it. Dennis walks out. INT. LUNCHROOM - DAY Dennis tosses his cookies and treats into the garbage. Two coffee drinking women look on awkwardly. INT. MAIN OFFICE - DAY Dennis grabs a cookie plate from a womans desk and tosses it into the trash. Shes on the phone as he does it. Surprised look. Dennis turns to say something, but thinks better. INT. CAR - DAY Dennis drives home. His pen is in hand and he clicks it with abandon. He steps on the gas pedal. The car flies. INT. DENNISS KITCHEN - DAY Dennis stands in his kitchen, looking glum. He opens the shelves and looks at his supply of baking goods. The shelves are loaded with boxes of cake mix. Not just one or two, but hundreds. More cake mix than any one person could possibly use. The boxes are neatly stacked, fitting in with the overall neatness of the kitchen. He pulls out one box, studies it, and throws it in the garbage. He takes two more off the shelf and does the same. Then he stops and closes the cabinets.