Jayson’s Reviews > A Game of Thrones > Status Update
Jayson
is 32% done
Thoughts:
(1) Samwell and his father have very Cornish accents. An odd choice, I thought, until I learned that "Samwell" is a very Cornish surname.
(2) About Sam: "His passions were books and kittens and dancing, clumsy as he was." Wow, George R.R. Martin can really define a character in very few words!
(3) Whenever I hear "Grand Maester Pycelle," I expect someone to bust out some ill rhymes. I'm always disappointed.
— Jun 01, 2019 12:00AM
(1) Samwell and his father have very Cornish accents. An odd choice, I thought, until I learned that "Samwell" is a very Cornish surname.
(2) About Sam: "His passions were books and kittens and dancing, clumsy as he was." Wow, George R.R. Martin can really define a character in very few words!
(3) Whenever I hear "Grand Maester Pycelle," I expect someone to bust out some ill rhymes. I'm always disappointed.
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Jayson’s Previous Updates
Jayson
is 98% done
Thoughts:
(1) Got the car up and running again, back to listening to audiobooks after a week's hiatus.
(2) Catelyn and Lysa have been away from Riverrun too long, they seem to have lost the Scottish accent all the other Tullys have.
(3) The Blackwoods and the Brackens are apparently the Hatfields and McCoys of Westeros.
(4) To write a new review for this edition or copy and paste my existing one? Probably new review.
— Jul 05, 2019 11:35PM
(1) Got the car up and running again, back to listening to audiobooks after a week's hiatus.
(2) Catelyn and Lysa have been away from Riverrun too long, they seem to have lost the Scottish accent all the other Tullys have.
(3) The Blackwoods and the Brackens are apparently the Hatfields and McCoys of Westeros.
(4) To write a new review for this edition or copy and paste my existing one? Probably new review.
Jayson
is 97% done
Thoughts:
(1) "Jon sat under the trees and ate his biscuit and cheese."
Me: Suddenly craving Lunchables.
(2) "Mormont drank lemon in his beer every day, and claimed that was why he still had his own teeth."
Me: I too enjoy Corona! Also, my dentist always tells me not to put lemon in drinks. But scurvy, I guess.
(3) My last update for a little bit. I only listen to audiobooks when I drive, and my car's in for repairs.
— Jun 29, 2019 12:15AM
(1) "Jon sat under the trees and ate his biscuit and cheese."
Me: Suddenly craving Lunchables.
(2) "Mormont drank lemon in his beer every day, and claimed that was why he still had his own teeth."
Me: I too enjoy Corona! Also, my dentist always tells me not to put lemon in drinks. But scurvy, I guess.
(3) My last update for a little bit. I only listen to audiobooks when I drive, and my car's in for repairs.
Jayson
is 96% done
Meanderings:
(1) I'll never understand Martin's obsession with nipple twisting.
(2) "Even the whorehouse was [under the ground], nothing on the surface but a wooden shack no bigger than a privy, with a red lantern hung over the door."
Me: Well, a red-light district all the same.
(3) "A stranger wearing black was viewed with cold suspicion in every village and holdfast north of the Neck."
Me: The North hates beatniks.
— Jun 28, 2019 12:30AM
(1) I'll never understand Martin's obsession with nipple twisting.
(2) "Even the whorehouse was [under the ground], nothing on the surface but a wooden shack no bigger than a privy, with a red lantern hung over the door."
Me: Well, a red-light district all the same.
(3) "A stranger wearing black was viewed with cold suspicion in every village and holdfast north of the Neck."
Me: The North hates beatniks.
Jayson
is 94% done
A few things:
(1) This living death must be the Lhazareen version of Montezuma's revenge.
(2) That sex scene was a bit too necrophilic for comfort.
(3) Never tell a witch doctor you love someone. They'll sell you out and go: Ooo eee, ooo ah ah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang.
(4) Daenerys: "She wanted to sleep, to sleep and not to dream."
Me: "Aye, there's the rub; for in that sleep of death, what dreams may come."
— Jun 27, 2019 12:00AM
(1) This living death must be the Lhazareen version of Montezuma's revenge.
(2) That sex scene was a bit too necrophilic for comfort.
(3) Never tell a witch doctor you love someone. They'll sell you out and go: Ooo eee, ooo ah ah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang.
(4) Daenerys: "She wanted to sleep, to sleep and not to dream."
Me: "Aye, there's the rub; for in that sleep of death, what dreams may come."
Jayson
is 93% done
Joffrey:
(1) “My mother tells me that it isn’t fitting that a king should strike his wife."
Me: TBH, she was probably just taking shots at King Robert.
(2) “You truly are a stupid girl, aren’t you? My mother says so.”
Me: I agree with Cersei!
(3) “Your brother defeated my uncle Jaime. My mother says it was treachery and deceit."
Me: Well, she'd be the expert.
(4) Joffrey cites his mom a lot. She's like his Wikipedia.
— Jun 26, 2019 12:15AM
(1) “My mother tells me that it isn’t fitting that a king should strike his wife."
Me: TBH, she was probably just taking shots at King Robert.
(2) “You truly are a stupid girl, aren’t you? My mother says so.”
Me: I agree with Cersei!
(3) “Your brother defeated my uncle Jaime. My mother says it was treachery and deceit."
Me: Well, she'd be the expert.
(4) Joffrey cites his mom a lot. She's like his Wikipedia.
Jayson
is 92% done
Musings:
(1) Bran: “If I had a poleaxe with a big long haft, Hodor could be my legs. We could be a knight together.”
Me: Could work, but you'd need a fedora and a really long trenchcoat.
(2) Sansa contemplates jumping out a window to her death. Luckily she comes to her senses, and thus avoids becoming a meme.
(3) Joffrey: “Mother says I’m still to marry you."
Me: Of all your mom's edicts, that's the one you stick to?
— Jun 25, 2019 12:00AM
(1) Bran: “If I had a poleaxe with a big long haft, Hodor could be my legs. We could be a knight together.”
Me: Could work, but you'd need a fedora and a really long trenchcoat.
(2) Sansa contemplates jumping out a window to her death. Luckily she comes to her senses, and thus avoids becoming a meme.
(3) Joffrey: “Mother says I’m still to marry you."
Me: Of all your mom's edicts, that's the one you stick to?
Jayson
is 90% done
Thoughts:
(1) Khal Drogo partakes in a blood bath... literally!
(2) Mirri Maz Duur dances with wolves... literally!
(3) It's said that New York grew so large because its brand new immigrants could subsist on the endless supply of oysters picked from the water. Such seems to the case with Kings Landing and pigeons.
(4) Joffrey's the chaos factor that ruins everyone's carefully laid schemes.
(5) It's all Sansa's fault!
— Jun 24, 2019 12:00AM
(1) Khal Drogo partakes in a blood bath... literally!
(2) Mirri Maz Duur dances with wolves... literally!
(3) It's said that New York grew so large because its brand new immigrants could subsist on the endless supply of oysters picked from the water. Such seems to the case with Kings Landing and pigeons.
(4) Joffrey's the chaos factor that ruins everyone's carefully laid schemes.
(5) It's all Sansa's fault!
Jayson
is 87% done
Thoughts:
(1) Apparently, the Hippocratic oath does not apply in the Dothraki Sea.
(2) Daenerys: “No, he can’t die, he mustn’t, it was only a cut.”
Me: When he said it was only a "scratch," I don’t think he was being literal.
(3) Mirri Maz Duur should never have been trusted. She has three names! All the famous assassins go by three names: Lee Harvey Oswald, Mark David Chapman, John Wilkes Booth, James Earl Ray, etc.
— Jun 23, 2019 12:00AM
(1) Apparently, the Hippocratic oath does not apply in the Dothraki Sea.
(2) Daenerys: “No, he can’t die, he mustn’t, it was only a cut.”
Me: When he said it was only a "scratch," I don’t think he was being literal.
(3) Mirri Maz Duur should never have been trusted. She has three names! All the famous assassins go by three names: Lee Harvey Oswald, Mark David Chapman, John Wilkes Booth, James Earl Ray, etc.
Jayson
is 86% done
Two things:
(1) "Catelyn... wondered when her son had grown so big. Fifteen, and near as tall as she was."
Me: How tall is Catelyn that her bearded fifteen year-old is shorter than her?
(2) "'Such a battle!' said Theon Greyjoy eagerly. 'My lady, the realm has not seen such a victory since the Field of Fire.'"
Me: Yes, if only we could have seen it instead of only hear about it between Catelyn's worry and digressions.
— Jun 22, 2019 12:15AM
(1) "Catelyn... wondered when her son had grown so big. Fifteen, and near as tall as she was."
Me: How tall is Catelyn that her bearded fifteen year-old is shorter than her?
(2) "'Such a battle!' said Theon Greyjoy eagerly. 'My lady, the realm has not seen such a victory since the Field of Fire.'"
Me: Yes, if only we could have seen it instead of only hear about it between Catelyn's worry and digressions.
Jayson
is 85% done
A couple things:
(1) Re Tyrion: "For his oversize head, they found a huge bucket-shaped greathelm topped with a foot-long triangular spike."
Me: Well, that's one way to look taller.
(2) "'Halfman!” [Shagga] shouted. Other Stone Crows picked up the cry, and the Black Ears and Moon Brothers as well... 'Halfman! Halfman! Halfman!'”
Me: Good thing the others joined in. Lone chanters at sporting events are so very cringe!
— Jun 21, 2019 12:00AM
(1) Re Tyrion: "For his oversize head, they found a huge bucket-shaped greathelm topped with a foot-long triangular spike."
Me: Well, that's one way to look taller.
(2) "'Halfman!” [Shagga] shouted. Other Stone Crows picked up the cry, and the Black Ears and Moon Brothers as well... 'Halfman! Halfman! Halfman!'”
Me: Good thing the others joined in. Lone chanters at sporting events are so very cringe!
