Bryce Rocks My Socks's Reviews > The Spanish Love Deception

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN LET ME PRESENT TO U WHO YOU ALL CAME FOR, THE LAST BACHELOR OF THE EVENING AARON BLACKFORD 👏👏👏👏👏

today aaron Blackford is raising money for rescue puppies. your date with aaron blackford will be a day at the shelter he volunteers at: playing and walking the dogs. he has offered to wear his tight football pants when he plays with the newborn puppies. aaron will also carry you everywhere, make sure you eat enough and get you five tacos, not four. when you're stressed, aaron blackford will massage your shoulders or stop elevators to make out with you. aaron wants to get married have a bunch of kids and a dog. if this does not appeal to you, remember that making kids takes practice. *every paddle goes up at the same time* mhmm that's what i thought.

in his free time, aaron makes homemade granola bars and has wild sex. on a related note, the snazzy tuxedo you say displayed on him tonight will be auctioned off today as well. and by auctioned off i mean OFF as in 5000 dollars for every piece of clothing he removes.

aaron is also being auctioned today to be your fake date to a wedding in spain. when u sit in his lap for show (which is inevitable ofc) then try to get up he will put his arms around your waist and say "stop," in your ear, "that's not helping with the situation." Aaron will now show you how he will say those words to you. *he repeats it and two women and one man faint* no stacey, you cannot trade in your date for him. he's the father of your children, stacey. moving on, aaron will take spanish lessons to be able to speak to your family. aaron will score a goal with you over his shoulder. shirtless. there is only one bed.

also i just got word that aaron blackford is not for bidding today because he has been kidnapped. oops i said that too early. men, take what's mine and run *four armed men in suits lift aaron and walk him out the door*