Lucie V.'s Reviews > How to Vex a Vampire

✅ Hilarious banter
✅ Some M/M smut
✅ Cute romance
✅ Grumpy/sunshine dynamic
✅ Kind of hate-to-love (one-sided)
✅ Pace
✅ Characters / Sexy vampires 😏
✅ 2 POVs
✅ Intrigue/investigation
❗️❗️ Trigger warnings: mention of past captivity, mild PTSD, stalker, and past torture (off page, nothing graphic).



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Third read: Still as funny. This has become a comfort read for me.

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Wow! That was a hilarious and sexy book! I was looking for a light and funny book with banter and some sexy moments and that's exactly what I got with How to Vex a Vampire.

Finn is a human detective (with a mysterious past involving a vampire stalker) who is desperately trying to get a full-time job in the Vampire Related Crime unit, even though no human has ever worked in that unit. The problem is that Finn doesn't know the meaning of giving up. When he gets a chance to work in the VRC unit temporarily, he is paired up with Marcus Church, an old as dirt vampire who doesn’t want to work with a human and tries his best to scare Finn away. Little does he know that Finn grew up with vampires and will not cower simply because Marcus is a rude jerk to him and shows his dark aura around Finn. With this slightly dysfunctional dynamic, the duo needs to investigate a murder that ends up being tied to a terrorist group trying to turn humans against vampires.

“See ya at work tomorrow, Brooks.”
Brooks shakes his head, clearly forgetting how to show excitement. “Don’t come in.”
I grin at him as I back toward the door. “You know you don’t mean that!”
“Don’t come in, Finn! No one wants you!”
“Church does,” I say as I wink toward a scowling Church before leaving the room. While I know they have no interest in me because I’m human, I also know that I will whittle them down until they let me join.

Finn is so perseverant and always so positive and bubbly, I admire that about him. I know he uses humor as a shield and also as a way to deflect questions and other people's concerns about him, but to be that positive about everything is quite impressive. He also has a way to turn everything into a kinda-joke to get what he wants, really it's like a superpower. I also really liked the fact that he is rather short and has an artificial leg and arm. It's not often that we have books with sexy MCs who are not strong, tall, and insanely sexy with a perfect face and perfect body. Finn is pretty and strong, but he doesn’t have the usual “perfect body” with 8-pack abs and a 6-foot-2 frame. It was nice to have a little variety and I liked the uniqueness it gives to Finn. I also don't know anyone with an artificial limb so I never had to ask myself what it would be like, it had me thinking about it and it's also one more reason why I admire Finn's resiliency.

I hate dealing with humans. You try to like them and then they just die off.

Then there is Marcus. He is a 300-something-year-old vampire who likes humans as long as they stay far away from him, and he wants nothing to do with Finn. He doesn't do relationships, especially not with humans... That is until Finn inevitably wears him down. I liked how Marcus started as a grumpy and brooding vampire and slowly changed into a kinda funny and more relaxed guy (but he still has some serious issues when it comes to social interactions and anger management 😅). The more time he spends with Finn, the more we can see his influence over Marcus, and by the end, both of them are just as ridiculous as the other when they talk to each other. The story is also told in both their POVs and I loved having a peek into Marcus' head!

Karsyn growls. “I hate him, but I still don’t hate him as much as your smiling face.”
“Aw, you’ve noticed my smile. That’s very sweet.”
His eyes narrow. “And the vampire is storming his way over here… oh! And intercepted by Brooks. Why is it that every time I get excited that someone’s going to eat you, it never happens?” Karsyn asks, but I love that he no longer dislikes me, even if he tries to pretend he does.
Marcus slides into his chair next to me. “Who’s eating the human? I brought some barbeque sauce.”

I lost count of how many times I laughed out loud while reading this book. It is simply HILARIOUS. Finn and Marcus’ interactions are non-stop banter and sexual innuendos and I LOVED IT. I admit that some of it became a little repetitive near the end, but I don't care, it was the perfect book to just relax and be entertained.

“No idea what you’re talking about. We’re not dating. We’re just sharing a connection of emotions, love, and support,” Finn says. “And sometimes we sleep naked next to each other. But there’s a dog between us, so that’s not creepy at all.”
“Oh, well, that’s a relief and has cleared everything up,” Brooks says sarcastically.
“Does the dog… want to be part of this relationship?” Orin asks, like he’s concerned.
“He loves it. Especially when I pin him down and force him to love me. It’s his favorite part. I do the same thing to Marcus. He just doesn’t always lick me in the face in return.”
“Sometimes,” I say.
Finn nods. “Just sometimes.”
Brooks sighs. “This is a disaster.”
“Welcome to Dealing with Finnigan,” Orin inputs.

The investigation and detective work sometimes (often?) was relayed to the background because the banter and developing relationship between Marcus and Finn took up most of the room in the book, but I still enjoyed this book very much and while it was not the most elaborate, the plot was good enough to keep me intrigued. The mysterious stalker as a sub-plot is also interesting, especially since this issue is not resolved yet so I'm eager to see how it will affect the next book.

“I fell.”
“On your face?”
“Yes.”
He looks highly amused by this. “Like… your feet just gave up and you just splat right onto the ground?” He even pulls out hand motions for this to emphasize the splatting.
“That’s pretty much what happened.”
“Wow, I definitely want someone with that level of agility as my partner. Please, teach me your secrets.”
“You know what? You’re evil,” I say as I jab a finger at him. “I marred my perfect face, and you’re enjoying it.”
He snickers. “It’s kind of cute. You know, like when the little baby gazelle is just born and it’s all wobbly, but in this case, it’ll be like the little baby gazelle is just born and a lion is waiting for it to drop so it can eat it.”
I give him a look of horror. “Are you planning on eating me again? Brooks! Church is trying to eat me again, and this time I didn’t even do anything but be perfect!” I call out.
Karsyn spins around in his chair. “Did I hear someone say we’re eating the human? Count me in.”
“Please don’t fight over me, boys. I’m a one-man kind of guy,” I say. “Now where is this meeting?”

This book is the perfect mix of funny and sexy with a good enough criminal intrigue, and I definitely recommend it if you're looking for some mindless fun. It was exactly what I needed right now.

“Can we talk?”
“Of course. Are you going to ask me on a date? Blackmail me into dating you? Spoiler alert, I’ll say yes.”
“No. Come on.”
“I already have my date outfit planned. Thong. That’s it. Not the cute kind either. The one with like the penis sling in the shape of some strange object. Maybe an ice cream cone. Do you like ice cream?”
“You do realize we work in a place filled with vampires who can probably hear you harassing me?”

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