boogenhagen's Reviews > The World's Worst Boyfriend

** spoiler alert ** This book is not badly written, the story flows smoothly and the HEA was convincing enough for what it was.

It does unfortunately propagate a disturbing romance sub-trope that has pretty much been around since we had romance tropes.

The trope is that of the martyr h taking an unworthy partner back because everyone around her insists that the partner is a good person and deserves a fifteenth chance, no matter how badly he let her down before.

Maya Angelou said "When someone shows you who they are, believe them". Someone else said "Your first love is probably not your last love and when people break up, it usually is for a reason, so why revisit that?"

Going against that advice is the heart of this book. High school sweethearts break up because the male in the relationship needed acceptance and validation from his brothers more than he needed it from the h.

Supposedly the h was the great love of this guy's life, but he walked away because his family wanted him and he needed validation from his family more than he wanted to be able to find validation within himself.

So the h, while heartbroken, moved on. Now she is back and the male wages an all out campaign to win her back. Which, given that this is a romance and he is the hero and the entire world wants to see the two of them back together, eventually happens.

Then he goes and once again lets her down to get his validation from his brothers cause he has no sense of self worth without it.

Eventually he realizes he messed up again and he stalks the h until she relents and takes him back for the HEA.

That is not romance in my book. This man wasn't mature enough to BE in a romance. For all that the h cared about the hero and for all that she forgave, the woman deserved much better than what she got.

It is plotted out so that the hero makes his big sacrifice and lets go of his family to go live with the heroine. But somehow it is glossed over that in EVERY SINGLE MAJOR EVENT in the heroine's life, the hero has let her down.

It isn't that she can't handle her life events herself, it is that when SHE NEEDS THE SUPPORT a healthy relationship is supposed to provide, she is ON HER OWN, AGAIN. Yet the campaign to get the two locked into each other is massive.

Why is that? Why is it okay for a heroine to have forgo the benefits of a loving relationship to overcome her challenges and yet it is portrayed as a huge sacrifice for love when a hero has to rearrange HIS commitments if he wants to maintain a relationship.

That is utter tripe and this trope should be buried and eulogized. Because in general, life always has challenges and we all need support at one time or another to face them. In this instance it is once again shown to be a completely unequal relationship.

She has to give more and get less, simply because this a classic trope romance and the male is always given higher priority than the female.

I expect this in vintage romances, mainly because the goal of a vintage romance is marriage and babies and the heroine's ultimate outcome was that wedding ring and a honeymoon suite, not necessarily a deeply devoted and supportive man in her life.

I do NOT expect this in a contemporary romance. This heroine wasn't looking for a cottage and roses, she wanted an artistic career and someone in her emotional support corner when she rode out to fight her battles.

She did not get it and I wasn't satisfied by the outcome, cause no matter what HE SAID, his actions were extremely clear. She was NOT his priority and SHE DID NOT meet his needs for validation. He never met her needs either and that is a HUGE problem when the couple is supposed to be building a life together.

She will always be giving and he will always be taking and I cannot help but wonder how long will this HEA last, because people have a way of seeking out what they need and he can't provide it to her. Nor can she meet his needs either.

So despite the excellent writing and the smooth plotting, I don't see any long term HEA's or relationships here. She will be stepping up at every life challenge and he will be cowering down and running somewhere else to find cover from life's big blows.

Repeating the mistakes of the past doesn't make for romance, it makes for disillusion, anger and a whole lot of bitterness and that is not the destination I want for my voyages into Romance.