Julie G (remembering the good old days of GRs)'s Reviews > Call Me By Your Name

A friend of mine took me to a French film festival when I was in my 20s. The first movie we watched was about a creepy little 12 or 13 year old kid who stole a piece of raw liver from his mother's kitchen and proceeded to have relations with it. He then returned the liver to the kitchen, where his mother lovingly (and none the wiser) proceeded to cook the organ meat for her family, and then we, the audience, were subjected to watching them all eat it. The little creep then got bored with stealing and sullying the family's groceries, so he started having relations with a neighborhood cat. It was at this point that I stood up and announced to my friend, “I'll be at the car. Join me when you're ready.”

That night that movie made it clear to me that we just don't need to sit through every program or movie or read through every book. Not every aspect of “art” is made for us in mind. It's true that sometimes we should consider stretching our comfort zones and not always abandon something because it makes us slightly uncomfortable. But, it may also be true that sometimes something is just plain disgusting to our senses.

This book, Call Me By Your Name could fall into either (or both categories) depending upon your perspective.

My grandmother, who was born in 1923, was from a different time, and never, within her lifetime, became comfortable with the topic of homosexuality (to be honest, she wasn't all that comfortable with the topic of heterosexuality). Hers was not a religious bias, more a cultural one, but naturally many religious perspectives against homosexuality exist still today. This book would not have been palatable to my grandmother for that reason, and is not for everyone.

I, on the other hand, have no religious or cultural bias against stories that explore sexual relations between any consenting adults. And, the homosexual relationship that happens here is actually the most palatable one to me in the entire story. To be frank, I was cheering on the Elio-Oliver relationship right from the start.

THIS was not my problem. But, I'd LOVE to tell you what was.

First off, this kid Elio is the most unrealistic 17-year-old character (unless you want to include any character from Jaws) I've come across in a while. Nothing about him seems legitimate, from his completely unrealistic grasp of translating the most difficult musical masterpieces to expressing insecurities about himself but then boldly proclaiming himself sexually to a man seven years his senior. Absolutely none of his dialogue is believable and he remains a totally unformed character, from beginning to end.

AND. . . not only was I perpetually frustrated with Mr. Unformed and Mr. Inauthentic Voice, I then needed to journey with him on his secret, perverted mission of finding his Dreamboy's dirty bathing suit and rubbing it all over his face and then “kissing every corner of it,” only to find himself disappointed that he didn't find any pubic hair.

People, a creeper did this to my mother's dirty underwear in college and she and my father called the cops. Get it? That ain't sexy, that's creepy.

And then. . . oh boy. Now (grab me a Xanax, will you?). . . the peach scene.

Argh. Crumble. The peach scene on page 147 is where I closed the book and declared again, “I'll be at the car. Join me when you're ready.”

I'll try to spare you the spoilers and just say that, instead of raw liver, this young man sullies a very good peach, and afterwards thinks:

What a crazy thing this was. I let myself hang back, holding the fruit in both hands, grateful that I hadn't gotten the sheet dirty with either juice or come. The bruised and damaged peach, like a rape victim, lay on its side on my desk, shamed, loyal, aching, and confused, struggling not to spill what I'd left inside.

EXCUSE ME?? Like a “rape victim. . . shamed, loyal, aching, and confused??” Shame on you, Mr. Aciman, for this disgusting and inappropriate metaphor.

You have pissed me off, sir!

Your book will remain UNFINISHED by me.