Kelly (and the Book Boar)'s Reviews > Trapped

Trapped by J.A. Konrath
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Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/

“You one of the bad guys, ain’t you?”

“Bad as they come, brutha.”


(A request before I begin, if you will humor me for a moment. If you’re gonna troll me for reading this wrong at least come up with a quotable quote my friends can berate me with for eternity. I’m looking at you, “You Suck Turtles” lady – you done good.)

Now on with the show. In case you aren’t already aware, I are quite horrible . . . .



I truly don’t intend to be contrary to popular opinion and, believe it or not, often go with the flow and fall right in line with the masses when it comes to reading things rightly or wrongly. This time, however? I am forced to go against even my fave lil’ witch. I was secretly hoping for this kind of reaction to the news that I downstarred one of her recommendations . . .



If only so I could throw the nervous pisser dog at her and lock the door pronto, but alas she is not of the butthurt variety and didn’t even get annoyed. (She is obviously turrrrrrible at this interweb thing and should probably read the handbook on how to act a dumbass.)

Alright, so about this book I didn’t like. Trapped is the story of a camping trip from hell. A group of six juvies and their court-appointed guardians have gone to be one with nature and experience some group therapy. It doesn’t take long before you find out the kids ain’t alright . . . .




And for them to meet the locals . . . . .



If you’re looking for gross, this one delivers in spades. It’s gory and there’s also some of this for the iron-stomached . . . . .



This is a true blue “B-Movie” grade slasher tale in written format designed to make you cringe while reading . . . . .



So what was my problem? Well, the author decided to (1) give these future murder victims backstories which I could have given a shit about (I mean really, does anyone care about the home lives of people in films like I Know What You Did Last Summer or Wrong Turn???? Hell no, we just want to see them get the stabby stabby); and (2) he made them all speak ebonics. Now, I am not one who minds reading slang or accents, but this was obviously the whitest human in America (aside from Richard Spencer, of course) who was trying to be real “down” with how the urban youths speak today. And it was super annoying.

Anyway, everyone else loved this so read it. You’ll probably like it just like all my friends did. Don't want to roll the dice, but still want to read about a camping trip you'll never forget (without years of psychotherapy that is)???? Opt for The Troop.
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Reading Progress

August 7, 2016 – Started Reading
August 7, 2016 – Shelved
August 9, 2016 – Finished Reading
February 1, 2017 – Shelved as: book-fairy
February 1, 2017 – Shelved as: creepy-books
February 1, 2017 – Shelved as: everyone-loved-it-but-me
February 1, 2017 – Shelved as: ewwwww
February 1, 2017 – Shelved as: hot-mess-express
February 1, 2017 – Shelved as: kindle
February 1, 2017 – Shelved as: nomnomnom
February 1, 2017 – Shelved as: nutters
February 1, 2017 – Shelved as: read-in-2016
February 1, 2017 – Shelved as: stabby-stabby
February 1, 2017 – Shelved as: the-great-white-hype

Comments Showing 1-25 of 25 (25 new)

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message 1: by Courtney (new)

Courtney If only so I could throw the nervous pisser dog at her and lock the door pronto, but alas she is not of the butthurt variety and didn’t even get annoyed. (She is obviously turrrrrrible at this interweb thing and should probably read the handbook on how to act a dumbass.)

This made me laugh, hard - LOL. Our friends are the last ones who will ever be upset that we don't see eye to eye on books.

As for the trolls - Trolls this is for you - again, if we all agreed on books, this shit would get boring and mundane real quick.

Thank you for once again being honest with your reviews. :)


Kelly (and the Book Boar) Thanks Courtney! I receive so much entertainment from either the trolls or the responses my friends make to shut them down that I totally welcome them at this point.


Kelly (and the Book Boar) Oh and I should say the people on my friends list who "prank troll" reviews are the funniest of them all. I am waiting (im)patiently for their arrival : )


Char Ha! That is all. :)


message 5: by Courtney (new)

Courtney BAHAHAHAHA!!! Silver lining to everything!! And you are guaranteed to have a humorous day then once they arrive.

Come one, come all - let the games begin. HAHAHA


Shelby *trains flying monkeys* I wish I could remember more of this book to smash your little hating words. But I'd probably hate it if I read it right now so I can't.
I will take your little dog though! And he can piss on my husband's pillow!


Kelly (and the Book Boar) Shelby *trains flying monkeys* wrote: "And he can piss on my husband's pillow! ..."

You know that is his favorite hobby. He's getting good at it too - hardly ever gets even a drop on the rest of the bed : )


Shelby *trains flying monkeys* PS Are you liking Casual Vacancy? Because if you read it wrong I need to get my trolling A game on.


Shelby *trains flying monkeys* Kelly (and the Book Boar) wrote: "Shelby *trains flying monkeys* wrote: "And he can piss on my husband's pillow! ..."

You know that is his favorite hobby. He's getting good at it too - hardly ever gets even a drop on the rest of t..."


Zena puked all over the boy's bed yesterday. It was pretty hilarious. I love dogs.


Kelly (and the Book Boar) Shelby *trains flying monkeys* wrote: "PS Are you liking Casual Vacancy? Because if you read it wrong I need to get my trolling A game on."

Yes. But I will lie and say it sucks if you prefer : )


message 11: by edge of bubble (new)

edge of bubble I came here in search of trolls. disappointed! no fun you...

ps. awesome review!


Kelly (and the Book Boar) They come out at night . . . and when it gets rainy and uncomfortable in their mom's basement under their bridges ; )


message 13: by Evan (new)

Evan Clark Um, may I ask which review I need to read for the "You suck turtles" comment? I've been away and missed the awesomeness of these reviews.


message 14: by Ellen Gail (new)

Ellen Gail Well, since no one else had been here to antagonize you...I may as well. It's my duty.

HOW DARE U U REVIEW BAD U READ IT RONG IT WAS JUST TOO DEPP FOR U STUPED BETCH U COULDNT HANDLE IT CUZ ITS TO MATURE FOR U!!!!!!1

Oh god, that hurt my english to type. I think I broke my brain trying to troll you.


message 15: by Jennifer (new)

Jennifer I hate reading accents or slang - I don't mind listening to it in audio format though. Nice job hanging in there Kelly and I love your review as always.


message 16: by Jilly (new)

Jilly You fuck turtles.



Oh, did that say "suck"? Oops, sorry. Nevermind.


message 17: by Kat (new)

Kat Montemayor Great review.


Kelly (and the Book Boar) Evan wrote: "Um, may I ask which review I need to read for the "You suck turtles" comment? I've been away and missed the awesomeness of these reviews."

I was mistaken - the phrase used was "go suck a turtle." Still just as awesome. It can be found here: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...


Kelly (and the Book Boar) Ellen Gail wrote: "Well, since no one else had been here to antagonize you...I may as well. It's my duty.

HOW DARE U U REVIEW BAD U READ IT RONG IT WAS JUST TOO DEPP FOR U STUPED BETCH U COULDNT HANDLE IT CUZ ITS TO..."


LOL. I want to change my user name to Stuped Betch.


Kelly (and the Book Boar) K.M. wrote: "Great review."

Thank you!


Kelly (and the Book Boar) Jennifer wrote: "I hate reading accents or slang - I don't mind listening to it in audio format though. Nice job hanging in there Kelly and I love your review as always."

It REALLY drives me insane (I know, short trip) when it doesn't work, but I love "hearing" the accent in my head when done right. (The Casual Vacancy did "Cockney" brilliantly.)


Kelly (and the Book Boar) Jilly wrote: "You fuck turtles.



Oh, did that say "suck"? Oops, sorry. Nevermind."


I am stealing the crap out of this image. Feel free to sue me when my old lady brain disease kicks in and I fail to give you credit as the source.


message 23: by Jilly (new)

Jilly Lol, it's all yours! ;)


message 24: by Evan (new)

Evan Clark Kelly (and the Book Boar) wrote: I was mistaken - the phrase used was "go suck a turtle." Still just as awesome. It can be found here: https:

This sort of thing is pretty much my whole reason for visiting Goodreads. One star reviews just fill me with unholy joy.


message 25: by Ellen Gail (new)

Ellen Gail Kelly (and the Book Boar) wrote: "Evan wrote: "Um, may I ask which review I need to read for the "You suck turtles" comment? I've been away and missed the awesomeness of these reviews."

I was mistaken - the phrase used was "go suc..."


Thank you for linking this Stuped Betch! =) Next person who pisses me off is getting told to go suck a turtle, for sure.


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