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Sully 's Reviews > Melissa
Melissa (previously published as GEORGE)
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This review is also posted at http://readingnookandcranny.blogspot....
Before I get into my review of this story, I need to tell you a little bit about myself, because my own personal experiences heavily impacted my thoughts on this novel.
When I was in elementary school, I did swim team and softball. In middle school, I gravitated towards martial arts and rock climbing. In high school, I played a lot of tennis, basketball and bowling. I went to college to go work in motorsports. Starting in middle school, I started wearing jeans from the boys' department, because I didn't like how tightly formed jeans from the girls' department were (especially how useless the pockets were). And you were likely to catch me in a t-shirt of my favorite sports team pared with it (and NEVER with a purse, as I don't own one since I have pants that have usable pockets and thus don't need one). I even kept my hair cut short to help keep the sweat off my neck in the summer.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I was/still am a "tomboy". As I got older, things didn't "improve" much. Instead of going shopping at the mall, I went to hockey games with my dad. And instead of watching Dancing with the Stars with my mom, I would either be outside playing kickball or playing Around the World with the neighborhood kids or I would be sitting in front of the tube watching an IndyCar race with my dad.
So now let's look at George. A charming fourth grader, George is struggling with her identity. She knows she's a girl, even though she was born inside a boy's body. She has a secret stash of Seventeen magazines (which I never personally read) she has to keep hidden from her mother and her older brother, because she doesn't think they will understand. She has to deal with constant taunting from boys at school, one of which was kind of her friend for a while, and a school play dear to her heart that is not going the way she would like at all.
I love little George, don't get me wrong. I can relate to little George, because in a lot of ways I struggled with some of the same insecurities as she does. Luckily, I had a dad who embraced my love of sports, and not a mother who told me I needed to conform.
I have two issues with this novel, and neither have to do with George herself, but more of the way Gino tries to send a message about transgender kids and kids alike. The first one being that I did not like that George resorts to bullying to counteract bullying. That is not a message I would ever send my kids. I know sometimes you gotta fight fire with fire, but what George does sends the wrong message completely (especially with how the adults deal with it).
The second, and much more important, is how Gino treats gender stereotypes. This is a hugely personal topic for me, since I've always been labeled a "tomboy". While I understand the difficulties of being transgender in today's society, Gino makes George out to be transgender simply because he doesn't fit his own gender stereotypes. In addition, it's kind of offensive the way Gino portrays what it means to be a girl.
To George, being a girl means she gets to wear lots of makeup. First of all, I don't want my fourth grader wearing makeup. Second of all, I never wear makeup even now. It also means getting to try on high heels and wear a skirt. Because, and a character in this novel points out, "When girls dress up, they wear skirts. I have a lot to teach you about being a girl." Being a girl DOES NOT mean you have to wear a skirt or a dress to dress up. My version of dress up is a button down blouse and a nice pair of black slacks. Over high heels, I wear a pair of very nice sneakers or flats.
Another character makes the comment to George, "No offense, but you don't make a very good boy." What the heck is that supposed to mean? Because George would rather play Mario Kart and read Seventeen magazine over playing bloody first person shooter games with his brother, he doesn't make a good boy? The gender stereotypes in this book are INSANE.
Yes, I think it's important that we stop being so narrow minded and judgmental about transgender people. Yes, I love George with all my heart. But I would not want a son or daughter, or even a niece or nephew of mine, to read this book and think that they ever have to act a certain way or do certain things or dress in certain clothes because that is what society has decided is "appropriate". I think Gino tries to bring one social issue - treatment of transgender people - to light by throwing another important social issue - gender stereotypes - completely under the bus. That part of this book I found highly offensive, through no fault of George's. And I realize perhaps I am reading too much into it and that a fourth grader or someone in the target audience for this book would not even realize what I saw, but I wouldn't give it to them to ever make that mistake.
Before I get into my review of this story, I need to tell you a little bit about myself, because my own personal experiences heavily impacted my thoughts on this novel.
When I was in elementary school, I did swim team and softball. In middle school, I gravitated towards martial arts and rock climbing. In high school, I played a lot of tennis, basketball and bowling. I went to college to go work in motorsports. Starting in middle school, I started wearing jeans from the boys' department, because I didn't like how tightly formed jeans from the girls' department were (especially how useless the pockets were). And you were likely to catch me in a t-shirt of my favorite sports team pared with it (and NEVER with a purse, as I don't own one since I have pants that have usable pockets and thus don't need one). I even kept my hair cut short to help keep the sweat off my neck in the summer.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I was/still am a "tomboy". As I got older, things didn't "improve" much. Instead of going shopping at the mall, I went to hockey games with my dad. And instead of watching Dancing with the Stars with my mom, I would either be outside playing kickball or playing Around the World with the neighborhood kids or I would be sitting in front of the tube watching an IndyCar race with my dad.
So now let's look at George. A charming fourth grader, George is struggling with her identity. She knows she's a girl, even though she was born inside a boy's body. She has a secret stash of Seventeen magazines (which I never personally read) she has to keep hidden from her mother and her older brother, because she doesn't think they will understand. She has to deal with constant taunting from boys at school, one of which was kind of her friend for a while, and a school play dear to her heart that is not going the way she would like at all.
I love little George, don't get me wrong. I can relate to little George, because in a lot of ways I struggled with some of the same insecurities as she does. Luckily, I had a dad who embraced my love of sports, and not a mother who told me I needed to conform.
I have two issues with this novel, and neither have to do with George herself, but more of the way Gino tries to send a message about transgender kids and kids alike. The first one being that I did not like that George resorts to bullying to counteract bullying. That is not a message I would ever send my kids. I know sometimes you gotta fight fire with fire, but what George does sends the wrong message completely (especially with how the adults deal with it).
The second, and much more important, is how Gino treats gender stereotypes. This is a hugely personal topic for me, since I've always been labeled a "tomboy". While I understand the difficulties of being transgender in today's society, Gino makes George out to be transgender simply because he doesn't fit his own gender stereotypes. In addition, it's kind of offensive the way Gino portrays what it means to be a girl.
To George, being a girl means she gets to wear lots of makeup. First of all, I don't want my fourth grader wearing makeup. Second of all, I never wear makeup even now. It also means getting to try on high heels and wear a skirt. Because, and a character in this novel points out, "When girls dress up, they wear skirts. I have a lot to teach you about being a girl." Being a girl DOES NOT mean you have to wear a skirt or a dress to dress up. My version of dress up is a button down blouse and a nice pair of black slacks. Over high heels, I wear a pair of very nice sneakers or flats.
Another character makes the comment to George, "No offense, but you don't make a very good boy." What the heck is that supposed to mean? Because George would rather play Mario Kart and read Seventeen magazine over playing bloody first person shooter games with his brother, he doesn't make a good boy? The gender stereotypes in this book are INSANE.
Yes, I think it's important that we stop being so narrow minded and judgmental about transgender people. Yes, I love George with all my heart. But I would not want a son or daughter, or even a niece or nephew of mine, to read this book and think that they ever have to act a certain way or do certain things or dress in certain clothes because that is what society has decided is "appropriate". I think Gino tries to bring one social issue - treatment of transgender people - to light by throwing another important social issue - gender stereotypes - completely under the bus. That part of this book I found highly offensive, through no fault of George's. And I realize perhaps I am reading too much into it and that a fourth grader or someone in the target audience for this book would not even realize what I saw, but I wouldn't give it to them to ever make that mistake.
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Reading Progress
August 19, 2015
– Shelved
September 3, 2015
–
Started Reading
September 4, 2015
–
55.77%
"I really don't like how George responds to bullying with bullying of her own. Sure, sometimes you have to fight fire with fire as they say, but is this a lesson we really wanting to be teaching kids? I think George could have handled that situation a little better."
page
116
September 4, 2015
–
67.79%
""No offense, but you don't make a very good boy."
What???? What the heck is that supposed to mean? Again, Gino is just reinforcing gender stereotypes here, and it's kindda offensive."
page
141
What???? What the heck is that supposed to mean? Again, Gino is just reinforcing gender stereotypes here, and it's kindda offensive."
September 5, 2015
–
67.79%
""When girls dress up, they wear skirts. I have a lot to teach you about being a girl"
Again, I just can't get over the gender stereotypes in this story."
page
141
Again, I just can't get over the gender stereotypes in this story."
September 5, 2015
–
Finished Reading
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Michelle
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rated it 5 stars
Sep 07, 2015 10:37AM
I would like to suggest that Kelly, George's best friend, is the counterargument to your argument about gender stereotypes. Although Kelly has make up and skirts, she doesn't wear them usually. She gets them out because George likes them. George is a girl who likes skirts and make up, but I don't think that means all girls do.
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Michelle wrote: "I would like to suggest that Kelly, George's best friend, is the counterargument to your argument about gender stereotypes. Although Kelly has make up and skirts, she doesn't wear them usually. She gets them out because George likes them. George is a girl who likes skirts and make up, but I don't think that means all girls do. "I did like Kelly's character, for sure. She was certainly a good friend to George. The one fundamental issue I have with Kelly deals with this line, from page 141:
"When girls dress up, they wear skirts. I have a lot to teach you about being a girl". The way that Gino even went as far as to italicize 'girls' really irked me. That and the fact that you have to learn or be taught how to be a girl (or a boy). I don't mind that George and Kelly play dress up, or if either one of them wants to wear skirts. But this one line that Kelly says to George again just pointed out to me the gender stereotypes in this novel.
But I'll reiterate, I'm probably reading way more into this than any kid ever would, but it still feels like the wrong message to send kids/for kids to read. IMHO of course - certainly not to pick a fight with anyone =)
Elise wrote: "Michelle wrote: "I would like to suggest that Kelly, George's best friend, is the counterargument to your argument about gender stereotypes. Although Kelly has make up and skirts, she doesn't wear ..."I do see your point. My nine year old daughter just started reading it. She reminds me a lot of Kelly, in terms of how she usually dresses, sometimes dresses, and behaves. I'm interested to see if she picks up on that comment.
I also thought the gender stereotyping was a bit much. As a gay man from the country I was "too much of a girl" to fit in at home, and then when I went to college I was told that I wasn't "gay enough" and was I "sure I was gay," by other homosexuals. So like you, I hate gendered stereotyping. That said, I thought maybe for the target audience of this book it was okay? Baby steps so to speak maybe? Then again, baby steps seem more like something for adults who already have set views on matters, so maybe the stereotyping really doesn't have a place in this book.Also, your comment about the bullying made me stop and think for a moment. My parents didn't raise me to be mean to others, but I was bullied a lot by my peers, and while it is no excuse, children who are consistently bullied or made to feel threatened lash out from time to time. George's mother seemed to be aware of the problem and so did the teachers, but brushed it off like most do, because there is a mindset that unless the harassment crosses some ambiguous threshold it's just a fact of life and kids have to toughen up. I was consistently mean spirited to a couple other kids for years because it was the unfortunate reality at the time that if you didn't assert power/control over someone else, you were just going to end up at the bottom of the pecking order again and no one would help you, and if you ever did receive help it would only make you look weaker and put a bigger target on you. I related to George in that moment she graffitied Jeff because I remembered what it was like to be called a freak at that age and she responded much like I would have, not violent, but conniving and mean. Not because she is a bad person at heart, but because she can only take so much. I think this book could be a great way to explore all aspects of bullying to kids and explain that while bullying is wrong, counter bullying is just as bad, and that children need to stick up for each other. I never considered what I was doing as bullying until I was much older. At the time I felt like I was drowning and if I had to push someone else under so I could get my face above the surface then so be it.
You had a great critical review! thanks for sharing! Sorry I left such a lengthy comment.
Sunny wrote: "I also thought the gender stereotyping was a bit much. As a gay man from the country I was "too much of a girl" to fit in at home, and then when I went to college I was told that I wasn't "gay enou..."Hi Sunny, thank you so much for your comment! I am a fan of lengthy comments and hearty discussion, so no need to apologize at all! =)
I would say for most kids, you are right. For the target audience, this book is probably okay, and I bet 95% of kids wouldn't even pick up on what I found faulty with this novel. And I'm certainly glad that authors are writing stories about transgender people, and that the issue is coming to light (even if it shouldn't really be an "issue" to deal with in the first place, as I think everyone should just aspect people for who they are). The last thing I want to see is kids judging people because they simply do not understand. That being said, this is probably still a book I wouldn't want my children to read, but I think that all comes back to personal preference and personal history.
That's one of the things I love about books. A hundred different people can read the same story, and they can all have completely different opinions on the book based on their own personal experiences. Novels are so personal, and each person can take something completely different away based on their own history and how they relate to the story. I've never really been able to relate to TV shows or movies that way, or even music as much. I realize most people aren't going to share the same history and the same stories as I do, and that's perfectly fine.
I was picked on a little starting in middle school when I really started to show my "tomboy" tendencies, but I can't say I was ever really bullied, so again I have different experiences that perhaps led to a different outcome. And I'm so sorry that you, or anyone else, ever had to face that. Kids can be so cruel, and it's really disheartening at times, especially since it only seems to be getting worse instead of better, thanks to the wide scope of social media these days. I think my fundamental problem with that whole scene is the way the adults react, and perhaps a little less on George's action itself (it would have been different if she did it more than once though, especially if the second time had been after a sit down with adults), since she doesn't really know any better and is really just fighting fire with fire.
Thank you for sharing as well Sunny!
You put that very well. I felt uncomfortable as a tomboyish woman but I couldn;t explain why. I gave the book a lot of stars because I think it is significant to have books that talk about children's need to break out of narrow gender roles. But you are right it needs to be about more than the binary (even a binary where you get to choose a side) and yeah I hated the idea that when girls dress up they have to be "girly". I liked Kelly until that point (although I also thought she was a bit of a doormat to George's "Specialness")
I disagree. I thought the mom character did a pretty good job of showing another way of being female. Here she is, a single mom, clearly not loving the cooking/domestic thing, wears very little makeup, works outside the home as a SCIENTIST, no less… I think the idea of kids being girl/boy jumprope v. running around holds true today. The rigid sex roles kids hold themselves to are more confining than those adults expect of each other, IMO, and I work in ES/MS. I am frequently shocked by the stereotypes they perpetuate/aren't even aware of. AG addresses gender stereotyping, but just as a de-facto part of life, not as a major focus. Just like incorrect-responses-to-bullying is just how it goes. AG didn't set out to proselytize. This is not a how-to guide. This is a snapshot (didn't mean to throw in that symbol form the story, but there it is) of one kid's reality and as such it is powerful, authentic and, IMO, well written.
It's been my experience that kids' and YA books of this subject matter tend to much more rigidly portray stereotypes than you ever find in the real world. A woman who wears pants and no makeup is not something most people find particularly unusual, though of course in certain settings it might stand out. Girls play sports and are sports fans, and have been for a long enough time that the way some authors make it out to be so strange and unheard-of seems like they're way out of touch.And these kids are supposed to be in fourth grade, but I cannot imagine even bright fourth-graders talking the way these do. "I have a lot to teach you about being a girl?" Come on. It doesn't even sound like a teenager talking; if anything it sounds like some aging drag queen talking to an apprentice who still hasn't got sense enough to sit with knees together when wearing a skirt.
Interesting points! Lots to think about and definitely a good reason for a parent and a child to read and discuss a serious book like this together.
I definitely agree regarding the gender stereotypes.
I COULDN'T AGREE MORE THANK YOU
I agree with you!
honestly, I was more bothered by Kelly's offhand remark that she doesn't wear skirts because other kids look up them. Voyeurism is NOT ok.
Yes, I do agree many gender stereotypes where shown. But no, I don't think this was to push stereotypes further, and I don't think they where harmful. I'm transgender myself, and when I first came out I began dressing in a very masculine way so that people wouldn't immediately think 'girl'. A lot of trans people I know also do this as a way to counter act the reaction people have to assign a gender. As for the gender stereotypes shown around the school and not directly with Melissa, I think these where probably to show the harmful ways gender is forced, even- especially- at a young age. I didn't write this book so I can't confirm this is how Alex Gino felt, but that's how I interpreted it.
