Rose's Reviews > This Is Where It Ends

This Is Where It Ends by Marieke Nijkamp
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Initial reaction: I think my reaction to this book can be best summed up in something that I said in the context of the discussion I had with a few of my readerly friends:

"I think this might be a classic case of an author who tries to write a story that's bigger than their ability to tell and trying to incorporate too much without any rhyme or reason to it."

But I will say this very clearly:

This is NOT a fair portrait of a tragedy befalling its cast.

This is NOT a good psychological portrayal of the tough themes and choices the book touches upon in the scheme of its events.

This is ABSOLUTELY NOT a good portrayal of diversity, it's more of a offending reference of "otherness" and bland identity than anything else. And ye Gods, I'm angry at the portrayal here.

This is NOT a story I would recommend on its subject matter to be taken as a mature, resonant narrative on its themes. Try reading Jennifer Brown's "Hate List" instead.

Full review:

This is probably the point where people are saying "Okay, Rose. You have some explaining to do, because this actually sounds like a good book."

Initially, I thought so too, that's why I requested it as a galley. I was pumped over this book, something similar to my initial excitement to Katie Stout's "Hello, I Love You" (and we know how that experience turned out.)

This book is much harder for me to expound on its problems because there are two issues plaguing the better part of this narrative: the way it portrays the school shooting and the way it portrays its respective characters on an individual level as well as for the measure of including "diversity."

I'm going to start with the school shooting aspect of the narrative because that's the easiest one for me to point out the problems for. "This is Where It Ends" is an ambitious narrative, narrating from the perspectives of several teens who are caught in the crossfire of a student (Tyler) who returns to school to enact revenge on his student body for "not being seen" (this is a very terse summary of it, but truth be told, Tyler has very little motivation and this I'll get into when I talk about the characterizations). It's weird how this narrative chose to tell all of its respective conflicts without much suspense or development. I felt like I was never immersed in the environment of the school or the students' experiences, more like I was talked at for the entire time of how much "potential" or "possibilities" these teens had before this madman of a character barges in with a gun and starts shooting. It's an all or none scenario, and not only unrealistic, but it skirts the complexity of the situation for what actually happens in real life.

This book was emotionally manipulative because it was telling me what to think or feel about the scenario instead of allowing me an eye into the character's minds and experiences of the peril they were in. Same with trying to understand WHY Tyler snapped the way he did.

I don't think the deaths were even that resonant because I never got to know the characters or their relationships beyond very jagged inserts that seemed to weave in and out of the narrative without any consistency for portrayal. That made it very hard for me to hold interest in the narrative, and made the 54 minute ordeal drag out for much more time than it should've. (That's the downside of using a timeline and "head-hopping" between characters with very generous overlap and similar voicing.) Plus, when Tyler's described in the killing of his student body, the portrayal is very mechanical. I get that Tyler's actions are mechanical, that he's numb because of a number of different things (abuse, loss, neglect), but does the PORTRAYAL have to be mechanical? This is where I think Nijkamp messed that up because it didn't have to be. The scenario could've had more weight if it'd been more intimate to the character experiences. The problem was that there was NO intimacy with the characters, and an odd distance that prevailed in the narrative the entire time. It's talking at you, not showing you. Big no, no in this type of narrative.

Tyler's character was just completely bland for motivation to begin with and I had a hard time believing that he was anything but a "bad guy", from the fact that people somehow automatically knew the one shooting up the school was him to (view spoiler) - you don't get any insight on his character other than the fact that he's immoral, evil, messed up - something that undermines the entire situation for the complexity it really has, whether on the level of mental illness or the relationships that Tyler has in his life and what pushed him to his breaking point.

As for the characterization, ye Gods this was the worst part of the novel by far. That's important because this kind of story hinges so much on characterization and trying to understand the backgrounds, quirks, definitions, emotions and actions of the characters when they're backed up against the wall. On one hand, you could probably hear me praising the skies that the author included the presence of POC characters and characters of different sexual orientations. But the presentation was so bland and skewed that I'm saying it's hurting the diversity leaning more than helping it. So much narrative space was dedicated to overemphasizing their "otherness" that the inclusion felt not only forced, but stereotypical and - dare I say it - prejudiced. Telling me fifty billion times that a character loves another girl and that they fit together does not convince me of the relationship - you have to SHOW those interactions, bring them to life, create context and value for them to make them more vivid. The repetition doesn't do anything for the characters themselves or showing their experiences and feelings. Using a bunch of random Spanish words (Madre de Dios got old very quickly, and how many teens do you think would say that?) and ill attributed stereotypical mannerisms does not convince me that you know how to write a Latino/a character.

And I especially CANNOT with the way this narrative treated Fareed's character. If you have to define his "otherness" with references to what you think is respectful in terms of defining the religion and/or practices of "his people", you've got serious problems portraying diversity. I feel like I don't know even know what ties these characters together besides what the narrative gives in terms of their "otherness". POCs and characters of different groups (whether by religion, creed, sexual identity, sexual orientation, etc) are not set pieces that one can just throw in a story willy nilly and automatically consider it inclusive. It's not a laundry list and it's not something you can just check off whenever you feel like it - it's all about the portrayal of the characters, the way they define themselves, their experiences and how they interact and deal with life and the situations they encounter. And this narrative did a mediocre job of all of that.

I'm just beyond disappointed in this story for not only what it chose to show, but also what it didn't. I was pulled into the story for the promises, but the connection was either lacking or absent, and that does not make for an enriching experience on such a tough narrative.

I would highly recommend Jennifer Brown's "Hate List" instead of this narrative, because it actually took the time to responsibly develop and delve into the difficult issues within its respective events while giving dimensional characters the reader could care about even if the scenario itself was hard to watch and come to terms with. Plus, you could more easily identify the characters and their respective voices without necessarily feeling like you're hopping around.

This...was just sadly lacking for a debut and tried too hard to be too many things at once, without even really making the lasting impression it aimed for.

Overall score: 1/5 stars.

Note: I received this as an ARC from NetGalley, from Sourcebooks FIRE.
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Reading Progress

May 26, 2015 – Shelved as: to-read
May 26, 2015 – Shelved
July 14, 2015 – Shelved as: to-read-arc-or-galley
November 2, 2015 – Started Reading
November 2, 2015 –
page 71
24.65% "Decided to read this one after a bout of major book hopping, and it looks like I'll be finished with this one tonight. I can already tell you this will be an interesting review because I see quite a few problems here, but this isn't nearly as preachy or substance lacking as "Shades of Blue", which I felt was far worse."
November 2, 2015 –
page 100
34.72% "100 pages in and I'm close to throwing the book against the wall. Argh.

I think the problem is that this book is far too shallow to make anything about the emotions work. Too many head hops, too many diversity set pieces, not nearly enough emotional connection with the subject matter.

Dangnabit, I'm disappointed. But I have a few other reads I'm going to tackle tonight after this."
November 2, 2015 –
page 184
63.89% "184 pages in this book and I'm thinking "These 54 minutes really seem like it's way, way too long.""
November 2, 2015 –
page 292
100% "Finished. It's really with a heavy heart that I give this only a single star for a rating because it was NOT good.

And we need to have a serious talk on what diversity actually is and how to show it properly, because there's no excuse for bland stereotypes of characters being shown so immaturely shown in the context of such a heavy topic.

I didn't cry with this novel, I just ended up being upset and disgusted."
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: ya-a-z-reading-challenge-2015
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: arc-or-galley
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: contemporary
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: crime
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: drama
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: false-advertising
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: glbt
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: great-premise-lacking-execution
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: grief
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: multi-povs
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: multicultural
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: netgalley
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: pretty-cover
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: psychological
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: realistic-fiction
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: quick-read
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: slice-of-life
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: tough-subjects
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: suspense
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: thriller
November 2, 2015 – Shelved as: young-adult
November 2, 2015 – Finished Reading

Comments Showing 1-18 of 18 (18 new)

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message 1: by Rose (new) - rated it 1 star

Rose I'm not even sure if I touched base on all of the diversity issues this book had, but it's worthy of a much longer discussion than I could discuss in this review. *sighs* I tried to touch on them, though.


message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

This has been a very thought-provoking review, Rose. And you're the third person I know to have given this one star whilst pointing out its issues. So I guess I'm just going to stay away from this. Thanks for the warning!


message 3: by Rose (new) - rated it 1 star

Rose Dana wrote: "This has been a very thought-provoking review, Rose. And you're the third person I know to have given this one star whilst pointing out its issues. So I guess I'm just going to stay away from this...."

Sure thing. *sighs* I expected much better from it given the intrigue of the premise and set-up. I'm definitely not surprised that others felt the same way given its issues. Argh.

Quite a few reads this year released that had a lot of buzz only to end up as disappointments. :(

@Navessa - wise choice :)


Nenia ✨ I yeet my books back and forth ✨ Campbell Great review, Rose. I agree with everything you said.


message 5: by Jen (new) - rated it 3 stars

Jen Ryland (jenrylandreviews & yaallday) This is such a thoughtfully written review. I'm almost finished and having some of the same issues. I was hoping the book would offer a little more psychological complexity and a little less shock value. Off to finish it now.


Maria I read Hate List when I was a lazy seventh grader who didn't understand the complexity of the subject and LOATHED it. But now, being ~30 pages from the ending of TIWIE I'm definitely picking it back up. The only think I remember not liking that I know with bother me again is the protagonist's family. And the horse wallpaper descriptions. Otherwise I'm excited.


Maria OH and also in this novel Tyler reminded me too much of a diva? I don't know the word I want to use, but the theatrics were a lot to take and blandly typical of "sociopathic" characters


message 8: by Felice (new) - added it

Felice Laverne Phenomenal review, Rose! By far one of the best reviews on any book I've ever read! I've never read this book but you hit on the same irritants that I would look for/point out if I had read this one (and it was so hilariously blunt in doing so)! Thanks for the review!


message 9: by Hanna ✨ (new)

Hanna ✨ lool my library is having a "read of the month" w this book.


message 10: by Felice (new) - added it

Felice Laverne hanna wrote: "lool my library is having a "read of the month" w this book."

lol I'd love to know how that goes! :)


message 11: by Rose (new) - rated it 1 star

Rose Thanks Navidad! :)

Yeah, I heard this book was chosen as the big read for Overdrive, which many libraries have access to, including my own.


message 12: by Beth (new) - rated it 2 stars

Beth I only wish that I had read this review before I started this disaster of a book. I agree completely with everything you've said!


Lauren Morse The author DOES treat the POC as a laundry list to be checked off. In her own post about this book, she writes:

"TIWIE has a lot of things I'm very excited about, like queer girl main characters. And PoC main characters. And tragedy. And courage. And hope. And at least one wholly unintended Les Misérables reference."

She's quite pleased with herself.


Zofia Great review. I agree that "Hate list" deals with this topic in a much better way.


message 15: by Giulia (new)

Giulia you had me with try "hate list" instead. one of the best books i ever read, like even in general, not only about school shooting. "Give a boy a gun" is also good imo but it can't compete with "hate list". but anyway, thanks for the warning.


message 16: by Inky (new)

Inky Hate list


message 17: by Inky (new)

Inky Sorry i was trying to search that


David Kinda disrespectful, Tyler actually does have a few motivations: he’s been bullied (locker lit on fire, head slammed into a locker, others.) losing his family, and others


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