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Manybooks's Reviews > Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
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I was originally going to move up the start of my reading date for Susan Forward’s 1989 and pretty heavy hitting self help book Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life. However, since I have indeed been reading and rereading my personal copy of Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life since early 1990 (not only for necessary reassurance, self help and the comfort of not being alone with encountering family dysfunction but also simply because oh so very much of Susan Forward’s presented text is so painful and so hard to digest and deal with on an emotional and spiritual level that I for one have never been able to read Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life straight through and have sometimes needed to take years long breaks), I have decided to leave my starting to read date as in fact being 1990 (since yes indeed, the time I have spent with Susan Forward and her Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life has definitely been on and off since 1990 and is actually still rather much a work in progress).
Now while I would therefore never be able to consider Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life as so-called comfort reading, perusing the many examples of aptly labelled toxic parents and realising that with regard to verbal and emotional put downs, insults and denigration, my own parents do certainly seem to fit the bill so to speak for rather too many of Nancy Forward’s featured toxic types, this all has definitely been quite painfully eye-opening but also both necessary and something also offering both justification and credence (although I equally do thank providence that in my family, there were never instances of sexual abuse and that physical discipline only ever entailed mild spankings, but well, that the at times quite nasty tirades, hardly ever being praised and far too often being verbally trashed by my frustrated with me for being so different from them parents in my opinion generally and actually tended to rather hurt quite as much and often in fact much more for me personally than occasionally getting my ears boxed for misbehaving).
A necessary even if also traumatic and often infuriating read is Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life, and most definitely warmly recommended (but indeed with the necessary caveats that you do not in my humble opinion want to consider Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life for entertainment purposes, but for specific and also targeted self help purposes).
And the only reason for my rating for Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life not yet being four stars is that I do think author Susan Forward should have a better balance between horrible and not so traumatic examples of abuse and parental toxicity, as yes, reading rather constant examples of parents massively more toxic and despicable towards their children than mine ever were towards me (and my siblings) certainly did during my perusals of Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life often make me feel as though none of my family based issues were sufficiently significant to even warrant me being upset (and even feeling rather majorly guilty just owning a copy of Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life and considering my parents as potentially being thus).
Now while I would therefore never be able to consider Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life as so-called comfort reading, perusing the many examples of aptly labelled toxic parents and realising that with regard to verbal and emotional put downs, insults and denigration, my own parents do certainly seem to fit the bill so to speak for rather too many of Nancy Forward’s featured toxic types, this all has definitely been quite painfully eye-opening but also both necessary and something also offering both justification and credence (although I equally do thank providence that in my family, there were never instances of sexual abuse and that physical discipline only ever entailed mild spankings, but well, that the at times quite nasty tirades, hardly ever being praised and far too often being verbally trashed by my frustrated with me for being so different from them parents in my opinion generally and actually tended to rather hurt quite as much and often in fact much more for me personally than occasionally getting my ears boxed for misbehaving).
A necessary even if also traumatic and often infuriating read is Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life, and most definitely warmly recommended (but indeed with the necessary caveats that you do not in my humble opinion want to consider Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life for entertainment purposes, but for specific and also targeted self help purposes).
And the only reason for my rating for Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life not yet being four stars is that I do think author Susan Forward should have a better balance between horrible and not so traumatic examples of abuse and parental toxicity, as yes, reading rather constant examples of parents massively more toxic and despicable towards their children than mine ever were towards me (and my siblings) certainly did during my perusals of Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life often make me feel as though none of my family based issues were sufficiently significant to even warrant me being upset (and even feeling rather majorly guilty just owning a copy of Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life and considering my parents as potentially being thus).
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Reading Progress
February 11, 1990
–
Started Reading
May 10, 2010
– Shelved
May 12, 2010
– Shelved as:
self-help
April 14, 2021
– Shelved as:
book-reviews
April 20, 2021
–
Finished Reading
Comments Showing 1-9 of 9 (9 new)
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Lisa
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Apr 14, 2021 10:41PM
I think sometimes bad parenting that isn’t the very worst can be more damaging to people than the worst of the worst because kids are aware when it’s the worst of the worst and if it isn’t it’s confusing about why the experience is so painful and damaging. Mixed good and bad is often more toxic than all bad. I understand your statement at the end.
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Lisa (not getting friends updates) wrote: "I think sometimes bad parenting that isn’t the very worst can be more damaging to people than the worst of the worst because kids are aware when it’s the worst of the worst and if it isn’t it’s con..."Good point, it is easier to ignore total monsters but of course total monsters are also more of an actual an palpable danger.
Lisa (not getting friends updates) wrote: "Mixed good and bad is often more toxic than all bad. I understand your statement at the end..."I think this can be very true, especially in terms of trying to come to terms with things. Extreme cases present a clear picture of who was in the wrong, and one (I assume?) wouldn't feel as unsure.
Anyhow, I'm glad this was helpful for you, Manybooks, but sorry that you needed it in the first place.
Abigail wrote: "Extreme cases present a clear picture of who was in the wrong."Exactly. At least as an adult. Even in the most egregious abuse cases children can think things are their fault.
Abigail wrote: "Lisa (not getting friends updates) wrote: "Mixed good and bad is often more toxic than all bad. I understand your statement at the end..."I think this can be very true, especially in terms of try..."
But at least books like this are increasingly available.
I think you may like Adult children of emotional immature parents. It is a very interesting book and it teaches you how to deal with immature people as well.
Emilia wrote: "I think you may like Adult children of emotional immature parents. It is a very interesting book and it teaches you how to deal with immature people as well."Oh thanks, that does sound good.
I read this a few years back. It helped. Maybe I should reread it.
Gabriele wrote: "I read this a few years back. It helped. Maybe I should reread it."Yes, it does help, as did Divorcing a Parent (although this was at times a bit too extreme).
