Elvis Quotes

“Atheism is not a philosophy; it is not even a view of the world; it is simply an admission of the obvious. In fact, 'atheism' is a term that should not even exist. No one needs to identify himself as a 'non-astrologer' or a 'non-alchemist.' We do not have words for people who doubt that Elvis is still alive or that aliens have traversed the galaxy only to molest ranchers and cattle. Atheism is nothing more than the noises reasonable people make in the presence of unjustified religious beliefs.”
― Sam Harris, Letter to a Christian Nation

“His eyebrows pulled in. “You won’t leave me, right? Even when I’m a pain in the ass?”
“I vowed in front of God – and Elvis – that I wouldn’t, didn’t I?”
― Jamie McGuire, Beautiful Disaster

“Before Elvis there was nothing.”
― John Lennon

“As far as I'm concerned the last good man went when Elvis died.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“I am the foremost collector of velvet Elvii in the city of Chicago," I said at once.

"Elvii?" Marcone inquired.

"The plural would be Elvises, I guess," I said. "But if I say that too often, I start muttering to myself and calling things 'my precious,' so I usually go with the Latin plural.”
― Jim Butcher, Death Masks

“Wonder of wonders, the box had Elvis. Immediately the bar seemed a better place. She fed in coins and then punched the keys for "Hound Dog." Too bad Elvis had never recorded one called "Dickhead.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

“Woss the matter with you?” asked Big Ted, irritably. “Go on. Press ‘D.’ Elvis Presley died in 1976.”
I DON’T CARE WHAT IT SAYS, said the tall biker in the helmet, I NEVER LAID A FINGER ON HIM.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“The sun's down and the moon's pretty - it's time to ramble.”
― Elvis Presley

“I hope there's a God, I know there's an Elvis.”
― Morgan Matson, Amy & Roger's Epic Detour

“If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.”
― Johnny Carson

“Rivera rubbed his temples. "Satan told you to do it?" he said wearily.
"No."
"Elvis?"
"I told you, it's supernatural.”
― Christopher Moore, Bloodsucking Fiends

“[W]hat upset grownups of both sexes about Elvis' performance was that he had broken the deepest taboo of all. He used his body as rhythmically and erotically and seductively as a woman--that was the forbidden territory he had entered. It was not only repulsive and offensive--it was nauseating--the word most used. It was an attack on male dignity.

The kids, however, not yet grown into the stereotypes of gender, saw in him an exhilarating physical freedom.”
― Elaine Dundy, Elvis and Gladys

“I have learned that the libido, like Elvis and jealousy, never dies. I know copulators of eighty-five. Who said you need an erection, a body or an orgasm for sex?”
― Hanif Kureishi, The Nothing

“No story about Las Vegas should begin in Vegas. It is a place one goes, often rashly, and from which one returns often poorer in money and richer in experience. It is a crapshoot—pun intended—if the outcome will match the intention. Las Vegas will not disappoint, becoming a story one can tell in a bar, how one got an unfortunate tattoo, or drunkenly married a new acquaintance at the Little Vegas Chapel in front of an Elvis impersonator.”
― Thomm Quackenbush, Holidays with Bigfoot

“The world does not need a ‘gay Elvis’, for the original, with his black leather suit, pomaded pompadour, come-fuck-me eyes and radiant narcissism, was quite queer enough”
― Mark Simpson, Male Impersonators: Men Performing Masculinity

“Jimmy Hoffa is not dead. He works at the National Enquirer with Elvis and Bigfoot.”
― M.J. McGuire

“Once upon a time, there was a generation of parents who were certain that Elvis Presley's unashamed hip-swivellingvwas most certainly the end of society.”
― Charlie Caruso, Understanding Y

“MUSIC. Tunneling right down into your CORE and SOULTIME. Hep, sloppy, SEXY and cerebral. Chancy and hip-swinging like ELVIS and your first teenage KISS.”
― Carew Papritz, The Legacy Letters: his Wife, his Children, his Final Gift

“---
A tactical orgasm. That's what he needed. Then he'd stop fantasizing about all those lacy bras she'd left back in his bathroom. She really needed to dry those someplace else. It had taken him fifteen minutes to take a leak this morning because the damn things were hanging up right where he - and his dick - could see them. It twitched in his slacks. His dick had a great memory.”
― Tracy Brogan, Love Me Sweet

“I lost my virginity to Grant Connelly," a slender brunette declared wistfully, twirling a lock of hair... "What? Am I the only one?"
"Nope." A different brunette, this one in a push-up bra, raised her hand. "Not the virginity part, but, well, you know."
Two others raised their hands slowly, looking at each other.
"Spring break?" one asked.
"New Year's Eve," the other answered, and then they collapsed into coed-caliber giggles and hugged each other like pageant queens. No shit. Delaney had stumbled into a Grant Connelly sexual conquest recover group.”
― Tracy Brogan, Love Me Sweet

“I don't want you to go back to Miami already."
"You don't? You could have your house all to yourself." Her voice was whisper soft.
"I don't want my house all to myself. I like you in it. I like watching the yoga."
"You could get cable. They have lots of yoga shows on cable."
He moved a little closer, and she stretched her legs out in front of her. "It would be quite the same as watching it live," he said.”
― Tracy Brogan, Love Me Sweet

“I remember when Elvis died. I wrote my sentiments with words of a little girl in my dear diary, "Many people wanted to see his body. They literally wanted to dig his bones out just to make sure that he was being buried. And I could not understand why. Why people could not leave him alone and let his soul rest in peace." I couldn't get it. I didn't grasp it at that time. In a head of a little girl it was hard to believe that there were mysteries to be solved. That there ruled a conspiracy theory that people thought it was odd that he was buried and the casket was never opened. They didn't believe he was dead! Oh yes. Elvis Lives! And as the world needs his songs, his words, his thoughts, his love, his light more than ever before.”
― Ana Claudia Antunes, Mysterious Murder of Marilyn Monroe

“Epic, adult and widescreen in its ambitions, the beefed-up Comeback version of 'Let Yourself Go' sounded almost violent in its execution, with Elvis's raw and desperate vocals every match for the gargantuan, aggressive horns and percussion that dominated the mix. A big, sweaty, dusty monster of a take towered over the Culver City version, and perfectly captured the tumultuous social and political strife of its era in dissonant musical form. This new version of 'Let Yourself Go' was unfailingly magnificent in its vision.”
― Mark Duffett, Counting Down Elvis: His 100 Finest Songs

“I've heard the race to Mars is because "The King",
Elvis is stuck up there running low on peanut butter!!”
― Neil Leckman

“Do you want to become a second Shakespeare of world literature, the second Darwin of science, and the second Elvis of music? This is nonsense and at the same time impossible because every human being is unique and you can only be yourself! Every person has to create a different path so that the world becomes richer!”
― Mehmet Murat ildan

“You could clone Elvis Presley and, while the clone would look identical, it would not have the utterly unique life experiences that made The King who he was. After all that time, effort and expense, the clone might choose to be a gardener instead of a singer! There's also the ethical dilemma of recreating all the genetic problems Elvis had due to his maternal grandparents being first cousins.”
― Stewart Stafford

“Elvis doesn't share our gift of matrimonial telepathy, though. And he did have a plastic brain. He still looked clueless.”
― Jacqueline Rayner, Doctor Who: The Legends of River Song

“You want to put up posters in Graceland?" I asked. I thought that if there was one place in the entire world where devotees would kill you for desecrating the sanctity of a holy space, it would be the mansion where Elvis played racquetball.”
― Kevin Wilson, Now Is Not the Time to Panic

“I’m a good boy!”
“You eat books.”
“I’m mostly a good boy.”
― Georgia Dunn, Everything's Coming Up Beatrix!: A Breaking Cat News Adventure

“You need skills to be good at homesteading. You need farming, carpentry, and above all, you need to be able to impersonate Elvis. When society collapses, that’s probably what will save your life.”
― Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes