John Bayley

“So much of childhood seems to have been spent in secret, and most of its pleasures came from this. Most of the memories I have of it, too. I already considered life to be far from wonderful—something, indeed, to be avoided as much as one could, like school or games or children’s parties. Life, real life, was like a picture that frightened me seriously.”
― John Bayley, Iris and Her Friends: A Memoir of Memory and Desire

“My mother took me in her arms, cradled and shushed me. I stopped crying at once, appalled at this disquieting kindness, and embarrassed by it, too. I found she was saying, “You must see the new moon, darling, but not through glass. I’ll put the window wide. And then you must kiss your hand to it seven times and wish.” With her arm round me, I stood at the window, still snuffling back tears, and obediently went through this unfamiliar ritual, as outlandish as the Danish habit of going to bed in the daytime. She had never mentioned the moon before, just as I could not remember her ever calling me “Darling” before. It occurred to me that there must be modes of behavior even in England which were still unknown to me. Rather like those unusual things that were done among the Danes.”
― John Bayley, Iris and Her Friends: A Memoir of Memory and Desire