K.L. Randis > Quotes

“Just remember, rain doesn’t seem all that threatening at first, but too much rain can turn into a flood.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“Professionals don’t know what gives some people a resilient personality,” Dr. Russ said, pacing the classroom. “You can have four people go through something exceptionally traumatic, and one of those people will have a higher resiliency to coping. They won’t turn to drugs or rebel against society, they’ll seek the positive in any given situation. Now the interesting thing is the argument whether resiliency is nature or nurture. Are we born with it, or is it taught to us?”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“Not everyone is abused by getting hit or slapped around, no child. Some people get put down by being called names, or the abuser makes them feel like they crazy and that the abuse ain’t happening.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“We don’t have the luxury of fallin’ apart, for someone else to come picking up the pieces.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“Big thing to know is that if you don’t want to do it and they make you, it’s sexual abuse.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“We were fifteen months apart in age which meant everything was a competition; who could read all the Disney books the fastest, ride their bike further or know all answers to the universe both large and small.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“that’s something that happened to you. It’s not who you are.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“Abuse can mean so many things, like threatening someone, hitting them, or controlling them by making them feel worthless.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“. Mom hustled Adam, Thomas, Kat and me into the minivan. We spent ten minutes driving down Southern State Highway before we pulled up in front of my grandparents’ impressive, white Victorian home. Engraved columns hovered around the garden on the side of the house and the lawn was zebra striped from a fresh cut; it meant Grandpa was expecting us. He was nowhere to be seen, but if I had to guess he was probably in the backyard skimming the swimming pool. Oak trees that lined the property kept him busy during the fall and summer months between his weekly pool and grass preservations.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“It’s always about what you want! What about me, huh? You think I chose this? You think I wanted to live like this? Now I know why women don’t tell on their husbands, how are they supposed to survive?” I gasped in a stunned silence. Did she really just tell me that she didn’t tell on Earl because of money? Would that imply that she knew all along”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“dragging realization crossed my mind as I finished seconds of macaroni and thirds”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“Please do not ever, EVER, tell a child that what they tell you will be in confidence if it is not. Don’t lie to us. If it is confidential, do not send a letter home to that child’s parents telling them what they told you. Do you have any idea how dangerous it was for me when my dad opened up a letter from Social Services saying that I had talked to them?”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“I thought my family would want the same, and it kills me that they have such great potential to thrive but they don’t. I lost a lot of sleep over that. I cried a lot over that. But at the end of the day, the only person I can make changes to is myself.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“It tells the person it’s addressed to that they’re being asked to serve as a witness in criminal court. You and your mom get one, so did Gina and Aunt Jean, and your mom’s”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“We walked in silence for two blocks as I tried to process what had happened. There was the overturned glass, the spilled milk, but his father didn’t yell, hit, or throw anything. The reaction that I had anticipated never came, and it left me standing at my chair in flight mode without a reason. I turned my head away from Paul and he must have noticed.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“She startled awake, grabbing at the air in front of her. I pushed Kat back against the wall to avoid her flailing arms. “Ohh, what? What happened?” She sat up in bed and I wasn’t sure what to say. Her hand was on her chest. “What are you two doing”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“nineteen years too late. When I was twelve years old, and coming from Molly’s side of the family, I was asked to babysit Adam and Brooke Nolan from the time they were three and four years old.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“I wanted to believe, for years, that Adam didn’t remember that night because of how hard he hit his head. The truth was, I think Adam’s spirit was broken in that moment. It was the first and last time he ever put himself in Dad’s path. Unbeknownst to me, Adam had taken one blow and immediately passed the martyr torch to the next in line. It wasn’t ignorance, the years of ignoring and denying what happened in our home, it was a deliberate surrender.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“We both are, child. And you know why? We don’t have the luxury of fallin’ apart, for someone else to come picking up the pieces. We have a gift, you and I, we feel people’s hurt and pain and take it as our own. That’s what makes you protect your siblings like you do, without even being asked. It’s what makes me work at a place like this, to do what I can. Ain’t nobody gonna tell us it’s all right to fall apart.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“Listen, confidentiality is everything. I had kids come up to me in school and apologize for what happened to me because they had mothers in the front office of my school who knew all about it. That’s unacceptable.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“Well, congratulations!” She hugged me and shoved the pregnancy test back into her pocket. “I’m going to tell him tomorrow. I wanted you to be the first to know.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“Going to court became difficult when I had to explain to Jason where I was going all the time. Paul’s reaction, when he found out, scared me into thinking that I should hold off on telling Jason what was really going on. All I told him was that I was going to court because of my dad. I let his imagination fill in the rest of the blanks, and for a long time he never pressed me for any explanations beyond that. I dreaded the day he would want to have a deeper conversation about it. I wanted to tread lightly because I found myself falling hopelessly in love with Jason, even though I wasn’t ready to admit that to myself yet because of Paul. I didn’t want to scare Jason away.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“It wasn’t like a birthday or vacation memory I was trying to recall, and I had tried to push many of them to the back of my mind, never to be thought about again.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“And we need to let you know that, sometimes…” He held up his hands like he was holding an imaginary basketball, staring at it intently, struggling to find the right words. “Sometimes, people need to know about the bubble that surrounds a family. This bubble protects everyone, and it keeps everyone safe. It’s like a safety zone.” Aunt Jean nodded in agreement as Uncle Bruce continued. “Our family has a very strong bubble.” He reached out for Aunt Jean’s hand. We want you to know that you are a part of our family and we know you are a very smart, strong, and beautiful young woman.” His face started to turn several shades of crimson. “We are worried about you, and we want you to know that the bubble we have in our family will protect you too.” He pointed at me. “Anything you are going through or anything you say, we will protect you.” Uncle Bruce turned his face away.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“I don’t see how you can choose a house over your kids, Mom. You love the house, so what. It’s a stupid house. You can always replace that. You can’t fake happiness. I’ll never feel safe there. Ever.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“I’ll pay for it,” I offered. “You won’t have to pay for it I just wanted to see what you thought.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“Secretaries and lawyers, rushing in late to meet their first clients of the day, analyzed all of the people around me as they passed through. They only acknowledged the older adults, as if I were a commonplace child. I ignored them and studied my note cards, their eyes skimming over me as they wrongfully assessed my age and the reason I was there. They tightened their lips in pity.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“Oh, I don’t know Brooke. You’ll never need that anyway.” The look on her face, the way her lips spread into a smaller, thin line told me she didn’t want to hear about the things she refused to understand.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“I forced her to recognize the change in my demeanor. My eyes pleaded with her to probe further, to ask me more questions. I wanted her to serve more wine so I could tell her the truth. I couldn’t say what I needed to out loud on my own. I needed her to ask. I needed someone to notice the changes in my face and run with my hints.”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk

“but I was having a hard time concentrating. Basically it was a piece of paper that said”
― K.L. Randis, Spilled Milk