Viz Magazine

LAST month, immigration minister Robert Jenrick faced a backlash after ordering that paintings of Mickey Mouse on the walls of a children’s asylum centre be painted over as they were ‘too welcoming’. Was he being cruel in denying children a greeting

TWO old-style drawing pins attached by fuse wire to a 9v PP3 battery makes an ideal defibrillator for a mouse that has gone into cardiac arrest. Warwick Street, Heaton MODEL Railway Enthusiasts. Make your latest scale model even more authentic with t

LAST issue, Mr Geneek of Kingston wrote telling us of his disregard for dolphins, and how he much preferred penguins. And we asked how you felt in order to see if he was a reliable barometer of the nation’s preference for the flightless birds over th

WE all love BEACHCOMBING – idling up and down a sandy shore, keeping our eyes peeled for shiny sea glass, interesting fossils and intricate shells. And our favourite A-List stars are no different. That’s why we called up four of our most-loved celebs

Hi! Nigel Farage here. Now, when I’m not surviving light aircraft crashes or the wheels coming off my car on the Autobahn, I like nothing better than spending the day sitting atop our Great British cliffs on the lookout for small boats. But watching

IT’S a situation we have all found ourselves in at one time or another. We’re having a day on the beach, and whilst splashing about in the waves, we suddenly feel the need to relieve ourselves. The dilemma we face is a simple one – do we make our way

DECKCHAIRS are a traditional fixture on our beaches. On a sunny day, hundreds of these stripy cloth-covered wooden frames can be seen on the sand as their occupiers sit and soak up the sun. They are always there when we need them, and when we are don

HERE’S a thing. If you wrote your initials on a grain of sand – difficult, I know – but say you did, and then you got your mate to hide it anywhere on any beach in the world, right? And then you shuffled a pack of cards and laid them out in a line. A

Dear Professor Fuck, OUR recent family holiday enjoying the history and culture of Bucharest was marred only my mother’s discovery of a human shit in between the layers of sheets on her hotel room bed. Like all regular Profanisaurus readers, I am fam