Reality/Lost

Kytholek

Reality/Lost

First published by Starseed Labs 2023

Copyright © 2023 by Kytholek

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission.

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Contents

Forward

Introduction

I. PART I: DARKEST DEPTHS

1. Stripped of a Future

The Veil of the Senses

The Cocktail

2. Liquid Kittens & Other Anomalies

3. Drifting Through Infinity

4. Overdose

The Urination Damnation

5. Brigg-End

Addendum: Death Perspectives

Dimensions of Experience

The Deathless Observer

6. Attempted Normalcy

American Monotony: A Crumbling Social Structure

A Feeling of Necessity

II. PART II: LIGHT EMERGING

7. A Glimpse of the Absolute

8. Costa Rica

12212012: The End of the World

Montezuma

Sat Yoga Institute

Addendum: Meditation

Teachings of the Waterfall

9. Addendum: Drinking the Mana of Spirit

A Practice

10. Dissipating Perception

Life Flash: Snowballing Patterns

11. Dreams of Understanding

Addendum: From the Heart, to the Cosmos

Expulsion

12. Attempted 16 days of Solitary Hunger

Camp

Addendum: Mind Chatter

Lost to the World

13. Northern California

Fated Beginnings

Addendum: Fate & Destiny

Divine Grace

Banished

Addendum: Triggers

Atop the Lonely Mountain

Addendum: The Flow of Creation

Meth and Trannies

Weed be Burning

14. Michigan

Fire!

Addendum: Addiction

Which You is You?

Conclusion

15. The Will of The Fates

Addendum: Self-Responsibility

Tethers Unfettered

16. Guatemala

An Old Reality, Lost

Epilogue

The Layers of Self

The Void

The Spirit

The Soul

The Mind

The Ego

The Great Work

Willfully Surrender to Spirit

Raising Your Frequency

Forward

There is more to reality than meets the eye… or, rather, what the Mind interprets, translates and projects onto the screen of Consciousness for the all-seeing Eye to see.

That One Eye, Observing through all Mankind.

Introduction

Do not conform to the ways of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Romans 12:3

We, as a collective, have all had wool pulled over our eyes. The world as we know it is held together by story. But that has always been the case. It is story that guides imagination and imagination is the creativity that molds light into form and influences the act of creation.

Whoever controls the story, controls reality.

But this story I share isn’t about that, per say. It is more the story of being cast adrift into the dismantling of a world view. I was experiencing the old story, and the world it constructed, disintegrate around me.

At the end of my military career, I was unknowingly thrust into a spiritual journey. Thrown overboard into a Dark Night of the Soul with no anchor to help keep me grounded and no map to help guide me through.

For the first six years I had to figure out how to swim through this maelstrom all on my own.

I was not really all that spiritual before this. Although in my youth, I did have some experience with spirits, even demons in the night. I had read my Bible as a teen and was quite interested in the Book of Revelations, but I could not call myself a Christian or spiritual in any capacity. I had not yet known that life itself is always a spiritual journey. We are spirits having a human experience, after all.

Just as many of us, I did not choose this Life Path.. (as far as I can remember… perhaps before memory?) …there were happenings that guided me along a specific path. I was, in a way, forced to adjust and adapt to it.

Just as being thrust into an undercurrent within the ocean, all one can do is surrender to it. Any resistance to its pull will only wear you down. You have to let go of control and have faith. This lesson was not learned until years after the story told in this book.

Choice. It always comes down to choice.

Conform or individualize. Control or sovereignty. Centralized or decentralized.

Old vs New.

Now, more than ever, these choices are being displayed for all to see. The two paths have made themselves seen. The path towards control is the most obvious one displayed but there is another, not so obvious, possible future. A path that leads to fulfillment, even amongst the apparent chaos. To be sure, this is not the easiest between the two, but it is by far the most rewarding.

This other way is choosing to go against the herd to find your own path, seeking to discover your power of individual influence. To finally become the you you always were.. That you, that higher-Self, lies buried beneath a hefty heap of programs, social conditioning, trauma, religious ideology, science; any and all things that influence your interpretation of Self and this simulated experience we call Life.

This book is just my attempt to share some experiences and what I learned from them as I was thrust into this mental dismantling. I hope it will be a lifeboat for those now being tossed into this maelstrom of transition from what we were conditioned to believe about this reality, into the experiential inner Truth of it all.

The act of self-confrontation and re-identification can be a tough process, especially when there is so much information and differing perspectives that it can be hard to sift through it all. Information overload and an abundance of approaches can leave many paralyzed with inaction.

Life has given each of us our own path to follow based on the programs we received. God, Source, Universe, Divinity, whatever you choose to call It, wanted to see if you could overcome the programming and rediscover the fractal Spark of It that you are.

Again,

Do not conform to the ways of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

In this book I wish to share with you the process I underwent. My leaps of hesitant faith into the unknown. To show that when we take these leaps of faith, something does guide us through it. Some how, some way, it all works out.

I share it in hopes that it may be of aid to others that are taking the perilous decision to reconstruct their understanding of self and life. Those that are pushing against the conditioned patterns and honing your inner self, your Spirit self. It is this disconnect with Spirit that has lead to the world we live.

I know this story may be difficult to understand and complex at times. It is not meant to be a story read quickly. There are many parts that are intended to be a type of guiding-of-your-mind towards a possible realization within yourself. I am not just sharing my story, I am sharing experiences. Experiences you can reenact within yourself. A vicarious experience.

Take your time when it seems complex, let it marinate

I wish you luck on your journey, wherever it may take you.

I

Part I: Darkest Depths

Only from within the darkest of darkness, doth the light shine its brightest.

1

Stripped of a Future

There is no past, there is no future; there is only this single frame of the Cosmic motion picture.

My time within the United States Marine Corp. is coming to an end. I had served my two obligatory tours, both within Iraq. My first tour was Ramadi in 2008 with the 1st Battalion, 9th Marines; AKA, the Walking Dead. My second tour was in Al Asad, at the aptly named Camp Cupcake with a brand new unit, 3rd Battalion, 9th Marines.

Whilst awaiting my release from the Marine Corp, mere months away, in mid-December of 2009 I was caught being a Designated Driver for one of my brothers from my 1st unit. They were set to deploy to Afghanistan soon. Already heavy in their drinking, I was a sober recruit within their going away party.

I still had a valid license to drive… but, because of my prior DUI on base after my first return from Iraq, my base privileges were revoked. But to get off of base, one must drive upon it.

We were pulled over on the way out and I was taken into custody. With each passing day awaiting my judgment, the severity was increased.

My contract being fulfilled, thus of little use to the Corp. anymore, the retribution escalated daily. From it originally being, "its OK, you were helping your brothers and ending with, we’re going to have to kick you out".

After all the nonsense required to put up with within the infantry, being cast aside and stripped of a future for something so petty didn’t sit well with me. I had a hunch it was a budget thing.

"Let go of those we have no use for anymore so we don’t have to pay their benefits".

Considering there were more than 120 fellow Marines in the same boat as me during the following ordeals, it’s kind of hard to not suspect such things

I end up getting NJP’d (Non-Judicial Punishment) for this offence and put on restriction for the holidays… yet again. My DUI was about the same day two years ago. Funny that… I was busted for a DUI on base and now, two years later, I am busted again for being a designated driver.

The pendulum of Irony

But this event became the most pivotal point in my life. Without these happenings, I wouldn’t have been exposed to phenomena rarely seen. I would have never met Joshua, the Messiah as I would call him on my first trip. The man who taught me nothing, but laid a path that led me to seek things hitherto unknown.

It was a long and hazy five months before my inevitable expulsion from the Marine Corp.. Being how it all started with the majority of people gone on leave for Christmas; we had few people in our way…

The Veil of the Senses

Our senses - Touch, sight, smell, hearing and taste - are the only means our physical vessels were given to gather external information. The senses act as portals between the external and internal. The information garnered from the senses is translated and projected upon this screen of awareness to be observed.

The Veil limits infinite possibility down to a specific experience.

It’s easy to understand why people who hold a fear of change, fear drugs. Especially hallucinogens or, better named, entheogens. Some may even argue that there is a reason for their illegality. Entheogens have a power to remove mental limitations and broaden the mind. Some in power may find this to be in conflict with governing (controlling) a population.

Psychedelics have the power to change you on a profound level, if you know how to use them. They can show you the malleability of reality. They offer you a glimpse of a self that lies beyond the conditioning of society and our identification with this body.

These tools can thrust you through the construct of personality bestowed upon you by the interchange between you, family and society, and lay bare the core self we have come to ignore. From ignore-ance to awareness.

Whilst locked away on restriction I was introduced to dirty Psychedelics. Cheap, easy to obtain and did not linger in the system for a drug test. Nor were they really known to be tested for.

Since we were on restriction during a