Truth: EUROPA, #2

DEDICATION

For my son, Sebastian. E. Brown

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

A special thank you to my muse Mark,

and all of the people who believed in me

PROLOGUE

The wind howled a long , low howl as the storm raged. Like the cry of a mother wolf locked in a room, separated from her pups, it was a mournful sound that permeated our existence, grasping at our souls.  And as if in reply, the mother’s howling was interrupted by persistent scratching and loud thrashings as branches were thrown against each other, trees ripped out of the ground by their roots and thrown like a play thing to the earth. The noise was never ending as mirroring these actions, the storm moved through our area of the planet with a vengeance, determined to cause as much destruction as possible. It was as if the elements were reminding us that we were the aliens on the planet that we now called home and that we were not welcomed.  Yet I felt calm, safe.

Our family had been confined to one of the vast Kraft Cave systems of Europa for approximately 2 weeks. It was only temporary due to the storm, but to me, my surrounding felt airily familiar. My concussion meant that at times, I forget where we were, entirely. Which was easy enough as from the look of the place, we could have been back on Earth, but in truth, here we were on an alien planet. I couldn’t help thinking that the events that had culminated in us being here had started long before Earth had been destroyed. What had brought us here was that need to know. To find the truth.

And as I mused on this wondrous mystery. I couldn’t help but get lost in that truth  was more than just logic. That sum of our emotions, wants, needs and thoughts, perception, belief and simplicity itself. I marvelled at the fact that as knowledge became a part of existence we soon learnt a simple truth, that life itself is intertwined with death. Just like the stars that shine brightly within the sky, becoming imminently clearer at night. We ourselves become aware of the existence of that small glow of knowledge, as the truth was brought to our world in the form of eminent destruction. To this further illumination came with the launch of space probes towards what was deemed theoretically habitable planets in the Goldilocks Zones. Answering the most fundamental question that we had been asking since looking up at the stars in the early years of man.

Are we alone in the Universe?

In truth, this question had been debated by sentient species on an uncountable number of planets over time. Yet our collective naive consciousness led us to believe that this question had been waiting to be asked for only as long as our planet had spun upon its axis. This knowledge opened the door, showing us that what we had suspected was true. Allowing us to take the next step as a new sentient species, in the form of space travel so that we were able to escape the eminent destruction the only home we had known, Earth. Regardless of the fact that, we had been perpetually debating this question for only a short measure of time in what is truly our known Universe. Now we had answered that question through conquering space and time. And like the children that we were, just being introduced to the Universe of possibilities, other questions came to mind. Each opening the door to trillions more, all beginning with the word:

Why...

And as the concussion controlled my mind and I drifted out to sea, at times it brought me to the shore and I was aware enough to fathom what was happening around me.  While, the larger community were weathering the storm on board the Starlight ships, we had opted to stay in the caves. Michael had repeatedly tried to contact his Commodore, on the Starlight 6’s flight deck communication system, however, the storm continued to howl loudly, angrily. Disrupting the signal from our receiver in the cave so that Adrian could not make out what Michael was trying to say. In addition to this, the temperature had plummeted overnight turning The Garden into a frozen land that I could only marvel at, it being impossible for any of us to venture outside.

Luckily for us, our resident scientist and good friend Richard had anticipated this complication and was well prepared. Apart from storing many of the daily necessities in small but secure enclaves, Richard had moved most of his medical equipment off of our ship (Starlight 6), along with a few medicines. This was fortunate indeed for as it turned out, both my husband Adrian, and his friend the good scientist and acting doctor, were right about the effect the faithful fall had had on me. Thanks to his forethought, Richard was able to treat my concussion and stitch the wound on my temple with relative ease. We all knew that my fall during the ominous Crafangau attack upon our settlement could have resulted in a far more serious injury. And although I appeared to have sustained no other ill effects from the fall on The Island in The Crystal Sea, as my headache was still persistent, Adrian and Richard, thought it best that I stay in bed and continued to check my neural response frequently.

Even Sue, despite the fact that she had been a major antagonist since even before we had left Earth, had changed her attitude and was now very attentive.  Being a botanist, she had discovered that the leaves of the luminous vines which populated our new planet, invading deep into the Kraft Cave systems and providing us with much needed light, could be used as an analgesic. Thus, she kept me topped up with a constant supply of her herbal tea which worked wonders on my headache.

It wasn’t long after the departure of my headache that I discovered the tea had left an unexpected hallucinogenic effect in its place. So much so, that my dead father became a constant and welcome companion to me. And even though I knew he was just a hallucination, I had missed him so much since his untimely demise just before we had learnt about Earth’s eminent destruction; I purposefully neglected to mention him to Richard and effectively blocked him from Adrian’s thoughts, so that Adrian was completely unaware of this new development. Or so I thought.

And so, while the others busied themselves with daily tasks as the storm raged on outside our cave, my father and I spent quality time together for the first time since we had left Earth. Just as I had done when I was a child, I opened up to him, confiding all of my thoughts, fears and aspirations. He in turn, listened patiently and openly. He smiled at my depth of feeling for Adrian, was pleased at just how well my husband got along with my (his recently adopted) son, Ben. And what was more, Dad appeared relieved that I had finally allowed myself to openly trust my extra sensual perception along with the people around me, whom I now called my extended family.

He was particularly pleased to see that I had not given up on my relationship with Sue. True, Sue was still a challenge, but since we had rescued the orphan Fawn who was now in Sue’s adopted daughter, Sue had noticeably mellowed. And, no one noticed this more than Richard. From my vantage point in bed I often observed him smiling at her as she carried on about her daily tasks. That Richard was also close to the child Fawn, only helped to cement his and Sue’s relationship. This was even more of a relief to both Adrian and I, as it also assisted her in being more accepting of me.

Dad liked to listen, but in saying this, I do not mean to imply that he was always a silent participant in our conversations. Quite the opposite. In fact, he often took the lead. For instance, when I mentioned the creatures we referred to as Fairies; he didn’t seem to be phased at all and was very capable in holding up his end of the conversation. I mean, even though they proved to be not at all magical, like the creatures in our childhood stories from Earth, I expected him to be a bit more intrigued. Instead, it was the new edition to our family, the twins Darrel and Daniel, whom Dad was very overtly curious about. He asked that many questions, so that I felt that there was something he was trying to tell me.

Actually, the boys had settled so well into our family since Adrian, Michael and I had brought them back with us from the abandoned ships in the Western region that it was difficult to remember a time when they had not been around. They were wonderful with Ben and indeed, very protective of him. Darrel and Daniel also showed a big interest in the satellites Adrian had built and subsequently launched into the planet’s atmosphere, Europa 1 and 2. So perceptive had the boys had proven to be with the equipment, Adrian completely trusted them to keep track of the storm’s progress. However, since the Crafangau attack; the storm had grown so strong, recording wind gusts on average of 235 mph on an anemometer Michael had installed atop of the cave before the Crafangau attack. So that the twins were no longer allowed to make the short trek to the satellite cabin to bring back daily reports. Granted, we really didn’t need to see the reports to know that the wind speed had picked up considerably and that the storm was at its full force. The intermittent crashing sound as trees lost their limbs or were uprooted and the intense howls were as it moved through the trees was enough to inform us of that.

It wasn’t until the 11th day after Adrian had repaired the protective shield that surrounded our area of the planet that the storm began to dissipate. Coincidentally, at about that same time, my other senses finally caught up with reality. All at once not only was I awake but for the first time, since the accident, I was also lucid. The sounds, smells and feel of this place were all familiar, yet they were... more. So much had happened since I signed that paper in the Marshal of the RAF’s office back on Earth and now, here I was lying in a bed my husband had painstakingly made as a gift for me, out of the branches of a tree, on an alien planet. The time and detail Adrian had put into each post upholding the headboard alone was unimaginable and reflected in its intricate beauty. My eyes ran over the carved features of a man and woman, as they embraces to form the bed posts where I lay in the cave surrounded by flower crystals. And a smile creased my lips as my hand reached up to lovingly stroke the representation of the man (who looked remarkably like my husband) holding the woman lovingly in his warm embrace.

As if in response to my movement, softly, affectionately - as he had done so many times before - Adrian’s strong muscular arm sought mine and our fingers adjoined. His lips never moved, yet in my mind I heard him well enough.

"Good Morning my love..." lightly and gently spoken the words were surrounded by a warm glow that encircled my consciousness, filling me with the deepest love. Just as his arms moved to encircle my abdomen, encouraging me to snuggle against his protective frame.

"Good Morning my love," I answered in like fashion. To which he responded by lightly kissing my cheek, whilst simultaneously, just as lightly searching my consciousness, making sure that I was healing. He had done this every day since the attack, only today, he smiled at what he saw. Dad was gone.

THE WEDDING

Risking the terrible cold weather, Michael came to visit us, bringing Rose and their twins with him. It was so good to see them all that the recent traumatic events were completely forgotten. The mood was jubilant and for the first time in a long time our family was relaxed.  Michael and Richard made preparations for an impromptu barbeque which our family lovingly referred to as ‘their famous burnt fish’. The men had caught many of the creatures that were uncannily like the flying fish back on Earth with the exception that they breathed via lungs. Being that they populated one of the many rivers flowing through our part of the Kraft cave system, this fish soon became our main source of protein. In order to enhance the flavour of the fish; Michael had even brought along some of his famous secret sauce for us, which made me wonder just how spontaneous the project really was. However as he explained it, Rose wouldn’t let him use his sauce as he was still on the dreaded diet and besides, it didn’t taste the same on rabbit food. 

Sue helped Rose to prepare some vegetables and fruit as, although I was now allowed to get out of bed and walk around, I was under strict orders from both Adrian and Richard to not overexert myself by taking part in any strenuous activity. This basically meant that I was allowed to do nothing but sit and watch. I in turn presented the argument that my brain needed some sort of stimulation in order to prevent Adrian and Richard from driving me insane, however, Adrian was adamant. 

I’ve risked your life enough recently when I shouldn’t have risked it at all. I know that you’re feeling a lot better now and the fact that we’ve not been able to go outside is really difficult for you, but please. Indulge me a little.  I just want you to have a chance to rest. I promise you’ll have more than enough to keep your beautiful brain occupied once we get out of here.

I just feel so caged in.  I... I replied a little frustrated. And as Adrian stood in our section of the cave; holding my head against his shoulder he kissed my hair and rocked us both gently.

I know. It just gives you more time to think. Something you definitely don’t need to do right now. He acknowledged in between kisses It’ll be over soon. Darrel and Daniel checked the progress of the storm today; they report that we’re experiencing the tail end now. It’s travelled quite a distance over the past few days and due to the wind velocity it will only be a few more days, then we’ll be able to get out of here. I sighed deeply in response then added with as much feeling

I don’t know how much more of this I can stand. It’s... I feel... I stopped, unable to express myself as I began to feel guilty and taking the queue, Adrian replied

I’m sorry darling, I do understand.

No I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, I know you just want to make sure that I’m OK, but I feel so useless! When your arm was broken and you were stuck in the Science Lab with Richard, you hated it. Adrian sighed softly.  And as I could sense that there was something he wasn’t saying: I turning away, looked up towards the cave ceiling, clenched both my fists and I let out a vexed sigh.

Daddy can you help us with this please?  Fawn and I want to... Ben interrupted and Adrian turned me round gently. Tenderly, he lifted his hand to caress my face and looked sadly into my eyes.

I promise I’ll explain later he said to me then turning to look at Ben, What is it Squirt? Of course I’ll help, just lead the way.

From the look in his eyes I could see that he was aware of my suspicion. Sighing yet again, I decided that there was no point in worrying about it as I knew I would get no answers until he was ready to give them. Thankfully, it wasn’t long before Darrel interrupted my musing and together we joining the others at the picnic table. 

The sight of Richard and Michael’s famous fish brought a smile to my face and as usual, the two men were arguing about whose cooking was worse. Concurrently they looked to their partners for support and to their utter disappointment; both Sue and Rose agreed that their men were equally as bad as each other. An eruption of contagious laughter flowed around our picnic table which resulted in both Michael and Richard vowing never to speak to their partners again. Of course, as we had all seen the men perform this particular jest before and knew that their resolve would soon wane, no one took them seriously. Then much to our surprise, as Rose proceeded to give Michael his extra helping of what he referred to as ‘Rabbit food’, Sue did the same to Richard.

Woman, what exactly are you trying to do to me?! Do you see these rippling biceps? Richard objected and as if to emphasise his point, he took her hand and placed it upon his chest.

Yes. But if I were you, I would be trying harder to keep them that way so that my eyes don’t stray. Sue smiled sweetly at Richard to which he responded with an unintelligible grumble as he released her hand.

I really don’t see what the problem is with you two; Adrian isn’t complaining about the greens Sarah’s put on his plate, and if you look at him you’d see why. Sue retorted.

Thank you Sue, Rose said to which Michael also grumbled unintelligibly as I joined the children, in laughter.

With all that had happened recently I had forgotten just how much I enjoyed our family dinners.  I took my place at the table next to Adrian and as I did, he slipped his arm around my waist and kissed my lips tenderly, then as I rested my head lightly upon his shoulder

It’s good to see you laughing my love he said simply. His eyes lighting up brightly with the happiness he felt in his heart.

After dinner when the children left to take patch for a walk and we were able to speak more freely, the conversation quickly morphed, revolving around the faithful night that Adrian had repaired the shield. Adrian was just explaining to Rose and Michael that he had use the formulae the Ancestors had given us and added an extra component, before moving on to our journey to the island. Then, as he began to relate to them my encounter with the Crafangau, I shuddered, and he instinctively put his arm around my shoulder, gently moving me close to him.

Is that how you got that cut on your temple? Rose began. And lightly taking my hand into hers, she left Michael to pick up the conversation.

"I wondered what was going on. I got the message from the boys on the open radio channel. They said 5 minutes and that we weren’t to leave the shelter till the shield went back up again. We were after one of Haynes’ men in the XT1 when the shield went down and the next thing, another Crafangau joined him.  We drove right into a cave and sprayed laser fire at them, but they flanked us.  Haynes’ man had a Refsol weapon and we were hard pressed trying to avoid the weapons fire while returning it with ours.  Then Haynes’ man, creature, you know what I mean, that thing.  He signalled to the other Crafangau and they began throwing boulders at the XT1’s windscreen.  They were trying to break the glass and we were running out of space in the cave to manoeuvre the XT1! That’s when I called you up on the radio Adrian, to find out what the holdup was.  The next thing I know there was this bright flash of light followed by a potent sound wave.  And the Crafangau just started to burn; they were all dead in a matter of minutes. 

We received similar reports from the other officers.  It seems that the humans, who had been deformed, changed into Crafangau after the shield went down, were all Haynes’ followers.  Even though the other creatures seemed to have lost higher intellectual function, Haynes’s men seemed to have retained theirs. Subsequently, Haynes’ group took charge of the others and planned attacks all over The Garden. We were able to hold our own mostly, but some of the men, including Jones and me, were about to become their latest recruits when the shield went up again.  I tried to contact you on the radio when we got back to the ship, but there was so much interference from the storm! We couldn’t hear a thing!"

As was typical for Michael, his tone of voice throughout his rendition was exceedingly expressive as he gesticulated with his hands and face whilst he described the events of the fateful evening. It was in complete contrast to Adrian’s tone which though expressed the concern he felt, was decidedly calmer as he interrupted his friend and Lieutenant.

Yes, I picked up, but it was obvious that you couldn’t hear me, then we just got cut off, Adrian replied.

It was now Richard turn to cut in as he proceeded to tell his and Sue’s part of the story. From when they heard the weapons fire inside the cave up until we got back. His account of the events were no less riveting, however as I had lived through this part of the narrative. So I took the opportunity to snuggle up to Adrian, letting my mind wonder. But it wasn’t long before my mind was brought back sharply into focus as I sensed the uneasiness in Adrian when Michael posed his next question.

That reminds me, Adrian what are you two going to do about the house? Michael asked I was rather shocked when we saw it! I can’t believe that they Michael had begun then suddenly stopped talking and his words seemed to hang in the air for a few seconds before crashing loudly upon the floor.

What about the house? Is it very storm damaged? I asked now turning to look at Adrian as his eyebrows came together suddenly while he Richard and Sue stared across the table.

Ri, what does he mean? There was panic in my voice.

Sometimes Michael you should practice a little known thing called tact. Rose spoke through her pursed lips as she looked at her husband with dissatisfaction before turning to Adrian. Adrian, I’m sorry, I told him not to mention it.

Not to mention what? What’s happened? I couldn’t let it drop, especially as I vaguely remembered Richard alluding to something about it when we had got back from the island.

They cut down the tree Sar.  Our house it... it’s gone.

I couldn’t believe it. I covered my face with my hands as my body visibly shook. And Adrian’s arms immediately encircled my slender frame allowing me to bury my face between his shoulder and neck. No one said anything for a long while as our once cheerful party changed into an uncomfortable gathering. Until finally, Adrian broke the silence.

There is something else he began, It’s one of the things I was trying to hide from you earlier when you looked into my eyes. He conceded, sighing deeply his eyes peering into mine for a moment before turning to look at the others and continuing. Listergarn spoke to me 5 days ago. She told me that Haynes had led an attack with a few other Crafangau on the Ancestors. Whilst the shield was down they swam over to the Island, diving down into the Crystal Sea. In the Ancestors quest to provide us with extra time to create the new formulae and fix the shield; they tried to fight the Crafangau.  They were unaware that these were... He sighed deeply before continuing; "humans who had been transformed into the creatures by the storm. As you saw Michael, Haynes’ men did indeed retain their higher cognitive functions. The men planned a strategic attack and were able to kill quite a few of the Ancestors, before they themselves were lured into the depths of the Crystal Sea and drowned.  The Ancestors were also able to fire upon the Crafangau using crystal weapons, though they wounded quite a few it wasn’t nearly enough.

It’s not your fault Adrian.  If it wasn’t for you, things would have turned out very differently; we could all be dead now or worse, we could have all turned into those creatures, I noted touching his face gently.

Yes Ade Michael chimed in if it weren’t for the two of you, there’s no telling what would’ve become of us all.  We never really said thank you mate, but I’d like to say it now. Michael had gotten up from his side of the picnic table and walking over to Adrian, placing his hand on Adrian’s shoulder, squeezing it affectionately as he spoke.

Yes. Here, here, thanks Adrian/Sarah! the others enounced simultaneously.

Don’t thank me yet.  There’s more he replied. And as his manner indicated that we may well not like what he was about to say, we all looked to Adrian expectantly. I need to ask you all a favour; however, you should know, you don’t have to say yes to this.

Come on spit it out. Richard directed with a mischievous look in his eye.

Listergarn also gave me some vital information.  Our shield was not the only shield created by the ancestors.  There are 3 more. Now that I’ve enhanced the device on the Island, it will protect this section of the Garden enclosure on Europa. Evidently, all 4 shields need to be at optimum strength in order for the entire planet to be safe.  They’re interconnected, depending upon each other’s strength in order to protect the planet from the rays of the Binary suns. Consequently, if we’re going to save this planet from destruction we

Need to find those other shields and fast Michael interrupted Adrian, completing the sentence for him and added. You can certainly count me in mate.

"Us too Adrian, I’m not going to let you boys have all the fun and I’m sure Richard won’t mind me speaking for h..." Sue couldn’t say anything else as Richard had reached over and kissed her seductively, in front of us all.  Then when he moved away, taking advantage of the fact that Sue was not yet recovered he added

You can come along with us but only on one condition. He began, but as she started to protest about her rights as a human being, not to mention that she was as good an officer as any of the men, Richard kissed her again and effectively silenced her.  After a long while he moved his head away from hers slightly then said in a quieter yet still audible tone. As I was saying, you can come along, but only on the condition that you agree to accompany me as my wife.

Sue gasped in shock and ceasing the opportunity Richard took out a ring from his pocket holding it out to Sue as he kneeled on one knee.  I love you Susan Williams. Will you marry me? For once, Sue was unable to offer a comeback; she just nodded her head in reply.

Rose, my boys have all grown up Michael declared now wiping a tear from his eye as he smiled at Richard and Adrian who were 10 years his junior.

Don’t worry love, you’ll always have me she replied smiling at him broadly before giving her husband a quick peck on the cheek.

We’ll always need you Michael and that goes for Rose as well.  The team won’t be the same without you Adrian added looking at Rose and she smiled back at him.

Adrian you know how much I’d love to go with you all, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to decline.  If I leave, there’ll be no one for the school and even though I want to keep an eye on this great lump, to make sure that he sticks to his diet, I think it’d be better if I stayed. There’s a lot I need to sort out here, what with the planning for the different age groups. I’m sorry but, thank you for thinking of me though.

I understand your thinking Rose, it is quite difficult for you, but you staying could also be a great help to us. Adrian agreed It’ll allow us to keep in touch with the ship and now that we’ve connected the satellite, we can use the computer to send and receive whatever information we need and Michael will only be a video call away... Are you sure about this? It is a tough decision. And as Adrian made the offer again, we all sat silently awaiting Rose’s reply.

It’s been a while since we’ve been apart for any length of time but it’s nothing I haven’t been through before.  In fact having him here is stranger than what we’ve been used to... We’ll be alright.  Just keep him safe for me. Then, as if in addendum to her last statement I know I can trust the two of you to keep him in line. Despite herself Rose stroked Michael’s face as she spoke, and looked deep into his eyes before laying her head against her husband’s chest, to which he responded by kissing her hair briefly.

Don’t worry Rose, I promise we’ll bring him back in one piece. Adrian reached out his hand as he spoke and held Rose’s softly for a while before he turned to look at me. Stroking my face and smiling a sad, apologetic smile.

Sar, I know I said things would settle down after we fixed the shield and with all that’s happened since we got here, I’d understand if you don’t want to...  It’s up to you. If you say no...

Instinctively, I touched his cheek softly with the palm of my hand and Adrian stopped talking. Slowly he turned his face to kiss the middle of my palm. Then, as I steered into his eyes opening my heart and thoughts to him, with both his hands he cradled my face, and kissing me sensually, passionately till the world and everything in it drifted away.

Err em! I hate to break up this exceptionally... Ow! Richard exclaimed as Sue hit him on the back of his head. So that Adrian slowly moved his lips away from mine, only to gently stroke my hair, my head resting contentedly upon his shoulder, my eyes still closed. Adrian breathing was shallow and quick and when I eventually opened my eyes again I found that his gaze rested upon my face, contentedly.

Sorry Adrian, what my future husband really wanted to ask was Sue, began but wasn’t able to finish as she was interrupted

"Yes... Adrian said softly.  She said yes.  We leave in one week."

Err hem! Goodness is that the time? Michael announced, nodding to Rose as he spoke while smiling in our direction; to which, I blushed and turned my face into Adrian’s shoulder and the other’s laughed.

Once we were all settled again, Adrian took on the role of the Commodore as his whole tone of voice changed when he spoke

"Michael, you Richard and Sue, drive into the camp. Bring back 3 XT1’s. We’ll need them for the trip. I’ll radio ahead to Wallace and write a letter for the board. We don’t have to get there in much of a hurry. The shield on this side of the planet will strengthen the others for now.  And apart from a few other things we might need, I thought we might take the children with us.  Ben won’t stay here without us and neither Daniel nor Darrel can go into camp, so they may as well come along. As for Fawn, well she’s pretty much Sue’s shadow. We’ll also be taking three of the Dragonflies; they’ll help us to carry any other necessary items.

Listergarn says although she knows the other shield devices exist, she only has a general idea about their location. So once we cross into the other regions we’ll have to ask the other Fairies for their help but she doesn’t foresee this being a problem. Adrian informed us looking each person in turn as he spoke. We’ll be safe on the ground as the Crafangau would have been mortally injured due to the shield modifications." then as Adrian had stopped talking and the others were sat digesting this news

Right then let’s get a move on, Michael stood as he spoke, moving in the direction of the cave entrance and the XT1

Michael, bring Wallace up on your way back, will you? We’re going to need him. Adrian added as he nodded in Richard’s direction

What? Oh right! Michael answered his own question with a wink then walked over to Richard and slapped him on the back It’s your turn now mate ha, ha, now don’t worry, I’ll hold your hand all the way.

Richard scowled at Michael in reply and we all burst out laughing.

And as the men were distracted with Richard, Sue walked over to me.

"Sarah I err, I wonder if I could ask you to do me a favour. Taking my hand, we walked a little distance away and after Sue explained her conundrum I simply replied

I think you should just ask him yourself Sue, I’m sure he won’t mind. Smiling, I squeezed Sue’s hand lightly in encouragement. Then, as Sue walked up to Adrian who, along with Michael and Rose, had been offering formal congratulations to Richard

Err em! Excuse me Sir I err... Sue began then seemed to be at a loss for words

Sue, you’re about to become my sister in law, you can dispense with the Sir. Adrian smiled; Sue nodded nervously and after taking a deep breath

Adrian, I wanted to ask. I err. Would you mind? I mean would you?

It was the first time I had ever seen Sue nervous and so walking over to her, I spoke the words she found it difficult to say.

Ri, Sue would like to ask if you wouldn’t mind giving her away.

I’d be honoured Sue. Adrian said kissing her hand and smiled into my eyes as I kissed him softly on the cheek in response.

Right then the quicker we leave the sooner we can get these two hitched. Michael declared as we laughed. Suddenly remembering I asked

Oh Adrian, what about Mary? We can’t leave her out of Sue’s wedding.  Those two are like sisters and Sue has... I paused. Putting his fingers to my lips and turning around Adrian walked us a little distance away from the group indicating that I should follow.

Sue and Mary are no longer friends.  It’s a bit of a touchy subject, actually. Richard and Mary had a. That is to say, it may be best we don’t mention Mary around Sue for a while. Sorry Sar, I’d explain, but it’s not my place to say. from the look on Adrian’s face, I gasped as, knowing Richard’s reputation with women, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together, but I said nothing more as I thought it better to let the matter drop.

Richard, Sue, Michael and Rose drove the two XT1’s back to the settlement, leaving Michael’s children, Mike and Jinny, with us.  During the interim, the children continued to play while Adrian and I took the opportunity to sort out and pack up the things we would need for the trip. And as we were alone, ceasing the opportunity, I asked

Is this why you didn’t want me to do anything for the past few days?

Sar I’m sorry, I... Adrian had begun then faltered whilst holding some of Ben’s clothes in his hand. Sitting heavily on the bed now, he looked at them vaguely with sadness in his eyes as he raised his head to stare at me intently. I felt concern, not just at the sadness I could see and feel within him, what distressed me more was what I could see in his eyes as he began to speak. It was regret.

You said yourself before we moved into the caves. So much has happened Sar and I. I know that most of it is my fault.  My life is so different from the life you’re used to. To Richard Michael and I, this is rather normal. We don’t even blink when this stuff comes along.  In the beginning, after Michael got married to Rose, it was difficult for them as well. Especially as Rose is a civilian.  So you see, although they’ve been married for 12 years, it wasn’t always easy. Richard and I were 18 and Michael was 29 when we met. Rose and Michael, they tried living off base for a while. Back then, due to him being one of the top Geologists in his field, Michael used to change post at least once a month. When Rose got pregnant they had this huge argument.  They almost got divorced. After the ultrasound and Michael found out they were having twins, he decided that it would be better if they lived on the base.  It’s one of the reasons my first wife decided that she didn’t want to have children.

Adrian had unfolded Ben’s little shirt unconsciously yet again as he spoke, and laying it flat on his lap, he looked at the shirt now stroking it lovingly.  She said it would make us too vulnerable.  She was an RAF brat. Both of her parents were in the air force. Her mother died when she was a toddler and after that she just tagged along with her farther wherever he was posted.  I had to admit, it’s a pretty terrible life for a child, to be growing up in countries where there was always war... The thing is - with you - It’s so different, your life has been nothing like this.  I know it hasn’t been easy for you in the past and what with everything that happened to you before.  I was hoping that here that I could make this our little piece of heaven. That I would be able to give you the life of your dreams. But instead, since we’ve been here, it’s just been one thing after another and... Sar, I’m so sorry. Adrian looked deeply into my eyes. Sarah I... You, Ben, the twins, you’re everything to me.  I want so much for you to be happy. I never thought it would be...

I leaned over and kissed his cheek softly.

It’s a whole new planet Ri, there’s so much we don’t know and it’s bound to be up and down for a bit.

Are you sure Sar? We don’t have to go, not if you don’t want to.

It’s important. I don’t mind, really. As long as you’re with me it doesn’t matter where we are. I admitted.

"Oh Sar," his words were filled with such emotion, as he leaned towards me and kissed me softly, tenderly.  Then moving his lips away only for an instant; he stared into my eyes

"I wouldn’t trade this life with you for anything in the world... Thank you."

What for? I asked, as I snuggled, lovingly stroking his arm as he held me.

For loving me. For making me whole again he said.

I didn’t know what to say.  I knew that being exposed to war and that sort of life changed a person and that Adrian and his friends must have been exposed to so many atrocities.  Not to mention all of the things they would have had to do in the name of war, which went against their personal ethics. Yet, somehow I also knew that this wasn’t what Adrian was referring to. I had often wondered why with his type of personality, such intelligence, sensitivity and creativity he had joined the armed forces; then as he began to speak again, it all began to make sense.

The world just didn’t have any meaning for me until I met you.  Oh I did my job and yes I know you can sense that there were many things I’ve had to do as a result of my job that I’m not too proud of, but when she died Sar.  After my mother died I. Everything just lost all meaning for me.  There was nothing that I could love anymore. Nothing that I cared about.  Even though I married Linda, in all that time I couldn’t let her get close to me, not too close. I shut it all out until you. So that when I did meet you... Since sharing my feeling during the bond, you now know how it made me feel when I met you. You caught me off guard Sar. It felt as if I had been instantly transported directly into a war zone without any weapons, being fired upon by enemy gunfire. It was then that I realised how I had closed off my heart. I couldn’t stay away. All I ever wanted was this, with you. He breathed deeply and held me tightly in his arms.

Ri... I couldn’t find the words to speak. Adrian was upset and I just couldn’t bear it.

I promise Sar, when this is all over, we’ll rebuild our house, and it will be everything you always wanted, it will...

"Ri. I. Yes, life with you here on Europa is different but without you I. Ri you’re my world and I want is to be