Lazy Dungeon Master: Volume 15

Prologue

This is a tale from before Keima and the others went to the Demon Realm.

Keima and Haku realized that Rokuko lacked any form of sexual education. That was largely because Haku had engineered it to be so, but the situation had changed drastically since then, and Rokuko’s relationship with Keima had developed so much it was inevitable that things were about to go to the next level.

It was a grave situation. However, at this point, it would actually be more dangerous for Rokuko to not have a proper education. Thus, Haku took responsibility for giving Rokuko sex ed.

Errrm... Rokuko, she began.

Yes!

I believe that it is important for you to, ah... learn about how babies are made.

Yes!!!

Rokuko’s powerful response sent Haku faltering fearfully. Her sweetheart was looking up at her with innocent eyes, and she was going to have to stain her with knowledge of the sticks and holes, of the meaty way in which children were made.

Haku paused. Perhaps there was some way she could solve this.

First, let us talk about sexual reproduction.

Um, I think I remember that. It’s the lowest thing anyone can do to a woman, right? They only do it if they want to hurt her and make her feel worthless.

Y-Yes. Indeed. I did teach you that.

In order to trick Rokuko, Haku had recovered scenes of humans violently raping each other in the capital, her dungeon, to emphasize her point. Incidentally, humans were fundamentally inferior creatures from Haku’s perspective, so said videos were not erotic to her at all. It was like recording footage of wild cats breeding.

Haku froze.

Haku? Sister?

I-I will teach you how children are made.

Right!

What to do, then? It would be simple to just say that sexual reproduction was in fact the way to make children, but that ran the risk of Rokuko immediately rushing over and engaging in the act with Keima. Even to Haku, it was clear just how fond she was of him. Well, that was precisely why it was dangerous not to give her a proper education, but... Wait. On second thought, Keima seemed to have a general understanding of all this already.

Okay. Haku made a decision on how to proceed.

Keima knows the specifics of the deed himself, so I will tell you only the first steps.

The first steps?

Indeed. Dungeon Cores are built differently from not just humans, but all living creatures, so preparations are necessary for making children.

Indeed. Her plan was to just not give details in the first place. It would be even better if Rokuko refused Keima if he ever tried to engage in sexual reproduction! This was the power of pushing work onto other people! It was a dirty strategy, as expected of Dungeon Core Number 89!

Um, what preparations? Rokuko asked.

First, you need a body that matches your partner’s. Our Father is a god, after all. As his children, we Dungeon Cores have divine bodies ourselves. Some would call us demigods.

Dungeon Cores never grew old and never needed food or rest. They wouldn’t die unless killed by external means, which made them more like gods than living beings.

In short, if Keima earns a divine body like ours in some way, then you will be able to have children.

Ah...! I see! S-So that’s why Keima’s been gathering the Divine Bedding. Jeez...

Indeed, by collecting and using the Divine Bedding, one could become a demigod.

Rokuko blushed crimson. She recalled that Core 112’s wife, Redra the Red Dragon, had been considered the goddess of protection for Tsia Mountain. It all made sense.

Haku recalled something, too—that gods grew in number in a different way than living beings did.

Oh yes, this is something Keima likely doesn’t know, so I suppose I will tell you what happens next.

R-R-Right! Rokuko squeaked, her voice cracking nervously. This was exactly what she had wanted to know.

If you both cut off a portion of your power and mix it together, you will make a child.

Cut off...?

That is how Father made us, no? Of course, he is an incredible god and could make a child himself without needing to mix his power with anyone else’s.

I see...

However, Haku said, a solemn expression coming over her face, cutting off a portion of one’s power is a serious thing... It is safe to say it is literally risking one’s life. It’s possible to die in the process. Unless one has as much power as Father, it is not so easy to make children.

O-Oh... Rokuko lowered her eyes sadly.

Incidentally, that was completely true when it came to making children as gods. If done poorly it was more dangerous than the births humans went through, so this was something even Haku had to explain in full with complete seriousness.

More than two gods can also make a child together. There was a trio of goddesses that birthed one son, for instance. This diminishes the burden on each god, and makes it a bit easier.

Hmmm... Oh, s-so you, me, and Keima could all... maybe... have a baby together?

Haku’s smile froze with an almost audible snap.

That idea did not occur to me, but it wouldn’t be impossible, no...

Well... I guess that opens up a lot of options? Rokuko said.

M-More importantly! There is a more practical method here, Rokuko! Haku said, quickly moving on. As I said, Father is quite an incredible god. Thus, if you ask for his help, you will be able to safely give birth.

Wait, so... Um, wouldn’t that be having a child with Father?!

No, you would only be taking his power. He gives us clumps of power equal to that which we use for making children ourselves, so we can recover the power we expend. Naturally, that power comes at a price, but it makes for relatively safe births.

Oooh! I didn’t think of that! The scales fell from Rokuko’s eyes. Indeed, she could just get Father to help!

Well, either way, you will still be cutting off some of your power, so you’ll need to wait some time before making a second one. It takes a bit before your power replenishes and adjusts to your body again. I would say it takes about a year or two?

I see... Rokuko nodded, which earned a satisfied nod back from Haku.

And that’s how we Dungeon Cores make children. Did you catch all that?

Yes! Thank you, sister!

＊ ＊ ＊

And so, we arrive at the present day. The seasons passed, and spring arrived again.

The Dungeon Core assembly that year ended peacefully, and as Rokuko walked through Goren, the town atop her dungeon, she came across the couple who had been married at the Beddhist church some time ago.

Oh, Hubb and Waife. How are things?

Aaah, Mrs. Goren! It’s been too long. Both me and my wife are just fine, thanks to you, Hubb replied with a grin. Waife looked a bit sick, though, which gave Rokuko pause.

Are you okay, Waife? Hubb isn’t abusing you, is he? You two are the first couple married at the Beddhist Church, so I’d like for your marriage to be a happy one... Also, look at that stomach! Did you get fat since the last time I saw you...?

Erm... Well, I suppose that’s one way of looking at it, Waife replied, while awkwardly yet still happily stroking her belly. It was, indeed, quite swollen. Rokuko questioned why her stomach was only swelling in one specific area, which seemed abnormal, but the couple soon answered her question with big smiles.

Thanks to you, we’re finally expecting.

Expecting?

Yep! My kid’s inside this belly!

Ah, that explained why they looked so happy. They had a child. Wait... A child?!

Um, why is there a child inside her stomach? Did she eat it?! Why?!

Er... What are you talking about, Mrs. Goren? We’re a couple, so obviously we ha— ow!

Ahem. Putting aside that whole eating business... Mrs. Goren, do you not know how babies are made? Waife asked after flicking Hubb on the side of the head.

I obviously know that. My sister told me just recently. A husband and wife need to borrow power from Father and fuse their energy together, right?

What the heck are you talking about?

Um...? Rokuko faltered. I-It’s the kissing part then, right? Is it the kissing?

This time, she tried what she had heard from Redra. She was absolutely confident the power-fusing ritual Haku had spoken of was kissing, so she answered concretely despite the embarrassment. Though she forgot that Redra had said afterwards that that wouldn’t be enough to make children.

Hearing that, Hubb and Waife began whispering between themselves.

Uh, Waife. I’m starting to think the town chief’s wife might be, y’know, something of a sheltered rich girl...?

Mhm... That’s what it feels like. No doubt she ran off with the town chief before she got a proper education. She’s the type to think fairy tales are real.

Hubb and Waife settled on Rokuko being an ignorant girl born with a silver spoon in her mouth.

So, what’re we gonna do? Actually, this means the town chief’s not doing anything with his wife at all. And she’s so pretty, too... All those rumors about him being a lolicon must be true after all.

We’ve realized something we shouldn’t have... At this point, our only option is to take responsibility and tell her the truth.

Thus concluded the secret chat.

Mrs. Goren, we’ll tell you how children are really made... Do you know what pregnancy is?

Nuh-uh.

Unbelievably, they had to start all the way from zero. Waife let out a sigh.

Chapter 1

It was spring, and within the Dancing Doll Inn’s dining hall were two girls blooming in conversation.

Whew, udon sure is tasty, huh, Mai!

It certainly is, Michiru.

One of the girls was Michiru, a Succubus working as an apprentice nun at the Beddhist church. The other was Maiodore Tsia, Niku’s betrothed. Udon had been added to the dining hall’s menu after Keima’s return from the Demon Realm. It was his souvenir for the townsfolk, and at some point it had become a staple on the menu. The noodles used wheat different from what could be farmed in Tsia, but who knew where he was getting it from. Perhaps he had found a source to import from during his stay. He surely had connections. A student from Tsia had come to stay over a year ago, after all.

Incidentally, Maiodore had privately received another souvenir from Niku. It was just a tapestry without much practical use, but she had happily clasped it to her chest all the same.

Gosh, I wish I got a souvenir from the Demon Realm, too, Michiru said.

Ahaha. We are engaged, after all. Did the town chief not give a souvenir to the church? Surely the Divine Pajamas are quite an incredible souvenir from a religious perspective.

That’s not what I mean. I’m talking more, like... as friends!

Aaah. I see.

Incidentally, Rokuko had diligently prepared souvenirs for all of the town’s higher-ups, like Gozou. She had Demon Realm wine and stuff. Suilla accepted the wine, but naturally none of it trickled down to the underage Michiru.

I asked ’im about it. Apparently they, like, fought someone super strong in the Demon Realm? It’s kinda hard to think of anyone stronger than the princess who came over, though.

Lady Aidy, you mean? I never thought that I would associate with a foreign noble before my own debutante ball. Though it is still up in the air whether she will remember my name and face at all.

I don’t really like her, y’know. She always blabbers about dueling the second she opens her mouth. To our High Priestess, even! Who knows what’s going on in her head. Would’ve been better if she’d been all about marriage instead of dueling. ’Cause marriage is our job at the church. The princess said dueling is a church’s job, too, but not Beddhist churches, that’s for sure.

M-Marriage, you say? Ahahaha, one day Lady Kuro... ahem, Kuro and I will get married, too, I hope.

And if that happens, I’ll hold the ceremony for you! Heck, I’ll even follow you to bed, too! Michiru grinned, and Maiodore returned the smile with an uncomfortable one of her own. After all, a married couple’s bed was a holy place, and going there meant assisting with the baby-making process. Only the most coddled and ignorant of noble girls would need that, and as Maiodore had received a proper education, that did not include her.

Visitors arrived as they talked. Naturally, this dining hall was mainly for adventurers. It only made sense that there would be visitors, but...

Hm, this hall is more well kept than I expected. Albeit small nonetheless.

Prince. Are you perhaps comparing it to the academy’s dining hall? Do recall that this town is smaller than the academy in the first place.

True, true.

The visitors were clearly men of high status. There were three of them, and they were all handsome like a trio of adventurers from a storybook. And, well, one of them was being called a prince, so...

You there. Where do I deliver the meal ticket?

Yes, sir, right over here! Ah, C-Rank meals, I see! Hanna, the completely green Silky maid, accepted the meal tickets and guided them to their seats. Things weren’t very busy at the moment, so she even set the table for them.

Hmm. Mai, that was pretty weird, right? Michiru asked.

I believe that is the prince of Daide. His arrival certainly is unusual, but why do you ask? Do you know him?

As a noble, Maiodore knew the appearance of Daide’s prince as a matter of course. He may have been from another country, but portraits of royalty were freely available no matter where you went. (As for portraits of the imperial princess, Maiodore was personally familiar with three entirely different-looking ones, perhaps to stave off assassins.)

Michiru shook her head. No, no, that’s not what I meant. I mean, wasn’t it weird that they knew about meal tickets and stuff?

Why would it be?

I mean, most people who come here for the first time end up super confused.

Oh, I see.

In most commoner restaurants they didn’t bother to go through all the effort of distributing meal tickets, and in higher-class restaurants they wouldn’t want to disturb valuable customers with the tedious process. Thus, throughout all of the empire, only the Dancing Doll Inn actually used the meal ticket system. It was that rare.

Perhaps they were taught at the counter? Maiodore suggested.

At the very least, he was familiar with meal tickets. He acted like someone who was coming here for the first time but knew all about meal tickets!

Michiru, you’re oddly observant, aren’t you?

Heh heh! Behold, the observational skills of Michiru the grand detective!

Detective?

Apparently that’s the name for adventurers who focus on solving mysteries. Usually murder mysteries! You should read Herlock Sholmes, it’s super good! You can borrow it at the church!

Ah, genre fiction, then.

As of late, the Beddhist High Priestess had been using her spare time to translate foreign texts and donate them to the church. Herlock Sholmes was probably one of those.

Putting that aside, the prince of Daide and his entourage swiftly received their C-Rank meals and began eating. Maiodore watched, and... indeed, they did not seem to be particularly surprised. That was odd.

The C-Rank meal was a stew filled with beef. But usually, it was downright bizarre for a backwater country town to give out beef so freely. It would be somewhat understandable if the dungeon produced Minotaurs and they served Minotaur meat, but the closest dungeon where Minotaurs appeared was the [Flame Caverns]. Only first-rate adventurers like Keima could casually hunt in a place like that.

Sigh... I wonder how Summer is doing. I wish I’d brought her, the prince said.

She is certainly doing fine. I’ve seen her skills with my own eyes.

Yep, me too. She’ll knock the crap outta most dudes that come at her.

I trust you two, but still... Ah, Summer, how I miss you.

The three of them chatted about nothing while taking no note whatsoever of all the beef on the table. Maiodore considered the possibility that the prince was just ignorant of how the world worked, despite coming all this way to a foreign country’s town.

Perhaps we should tell Keima? Maiodore asked.

Bleeeh, I’m lazy. Should the receptionist be handling that?

The current receptionist is Neruneh, no? I find it hard to imagine she would make reports like that.

Neruneh gave the strong impression of someone just going with the flow and living in her own world. No doubt she cared absolutely nothing about the nobility, and subsequently, no doubt she knew nothing about a foreign prince. Neruneh treated even Wataru the Hero as a normal person, which honestly made one question whether she could even distinguish what people looked like. She probably didn’t remember someone’s face until she met them many times over. Really, Maiodore wasn’t confident Neruneh knew her or Michiru’s faces.

Can’t we just tell Niku or something...?

I suppose so. In which case, I will inform Lady Kuro of the situation. Ahaha, I wonder if she’ll praise me...

Sure would be nice if she did!

And so Maiodore left.

＊ ＊ ＊

I have no idea what’s going on, but apparently Daide’s prince is here.

Dolce gave me a report on it (since she had casually swapped places with Misha after Aidy left), and then Maiodore came and gave a similar report. I thanked her for sending word, then blinked in confusion at a foreign prince being here.

A prince, huh...? I wonder why he’s not staying in the grand suite, then.

I decided to observe the so-called prince’s entourage from the Master Room.

First was Harkes, the Prince of Daide. Then there were his two retainers, Crusch and Kenho. And finally, there was his shadow bodyguard (whom Dolce said she ignored because they weren’t an assassin, though they were pretty good—she would’ve beaten them easily anyway). Said shadow bodyguard was hiding their identity from the prince’s group, but upon being spoken to by Dolce they paled, revealed their identity, and separated from the prince temporarily to have the discussion. Dolce apparently had high praise for their quick and correct decision making.

Anyway, the four of them went pretty much straight to the dungeon.

I checked their DP per day to see how strong they were. The prince was 202, while the retainers were each around 250. The shadow, however, was 532. Which put them... around the level of an average Hero. The others were still competent, though. They easily blew past the Goblins and traps, then hunted the labyrinth Golems with ease. Prince Harkes and Kenho used swords, while Crusch launched stone stakes with magic for support. The shadow... was just staying on guard, observing their surroundings. They had no openings.

And upon defeating Iron Golems, they put their corpses into {Storage}... Interesting, they all had {Storage}. Pretty rough foes for a dungeon to face.

Not bad. They’re pretty good.

Uh-huh. They’re saying they just want to check the dungeon out today, but what do you think they’re really here for? Rokuko asked, having appeared beside me at some point. Her face was really close to mine. I felt like the, what, physical distance between us had shrunk dramatically since Aidy left. Her cheek was close to rubbing against mine.

So, Keima. What are we going to do?

In what context?

I mean, won’t they just conquer the dungeon pretty easily at this rate? They seem pretty top tier.

Aah... Well, yeah, we can show them up to the place with the Dummy Core. Just like we did with Wataru.

That’s true.

This was a good opportunity to go through the dungeon’s current layout.

First was the town of Goren. We earned loads of DP from the people there while getting extra from visitors sleeping in the inn. There was also the tunnel through Tsia Mountain that connected us to Pavella. But putting that aside...

Floor 1 was the entrance area and was a light jab with Goblins and traps.

Floors 2 and 3 were the labyrinth area. Iron Golems spawned in them, and the Magic Blade testing rooms were there as well.

Floor 4 was the former puzzle area with the Inn of Greed, which made it essentially a rest spot.

Most adventurers who come to our dungeon stop here, Rokuko said.

Yeah, since hunting Iron Golems provides some steady income.

From there the difficulty rose, and the areas became targeted at advanced adventurers.

Floor 5 was the spiral stairway. The walls would push out to knock someone down the center, and at times the floors would collapse to make one fall down to the lower floor.

Floor 6 was the storeroom area. There were rooms for Golem Blades, experimental Golems, etc. The first Haniwa Golem was wandering it as well, making it a simple but genuinely dangerous area.

Some people actually do come here, though not super often.

Yeah, they always load up on Golem Blades before taking them out... Which was the idea, but still.

Then came Floor 7, which had three branches.

Floor 7-1 was the grassy plains area. It was a peaceful rest spot that existed primarily for Rokuko’s pets to relax in the sun.

This is a safe area, but basically no adventurers actually bother to go this far... I said.

Maybe we should make it a concert hall like Mikan’s, and host live shows for Succuma... Wow, I’m a genius! You in, Keima?

No.

Floor 7-2 was Phenny’s Playground, a magma area. It led into the [Flame Caverns]. Igni sometimes dropped by to