Ascension

254

Hello Darkness

Darkness. Complete, utter darkness. 

I was floating, hovering in a field of reflectionless black. 

There was nothing else—no sound, taste, smell, touch…

It was peaceful at first. I felt like I was both nothing and everything at the same time. I was a tiny speck in a vast universe, yet nothing else existed aside from me. 

As time passed, though, I recalled more of what I was. I was a human…I had hands, feet, a body… 

I tried curling my fingers and toes. I tried flaring my nostrils, opening my mouth. I couldn’t feel anything. There wasn’t even the sensation of breath in my lungs or the beating of my heart.

Fear took hold quickly, but even that was ambiguous, with no physiological signs to indicate my panic.

My panic… I was more than hands and feet…I had a name…I was Grey, King Grey…but I was also General Arthur Leywin, the Lance, son of Alice and…and Reynolds…

Names spun in my mind, names like Ellie, Tessia, Virion…Sylvie…

No. I recoiled from the names, pulling away instinctively like a hand from a flame, unprepared for the pain associated with them.

I tried everything to ground myself to something. I gnashed my teeth like an animal. I clawed at the endless emptiness around me as if I might rip the blinding cover from my eyes. I screamed soundlessly into the void. 

Despite my efforts, I didn’t seem capable of enforcing my will upon the world around me. I simply existed.

And I grew more and more angry with each subjective second that passed. 

Insanity effervesced, bubbling out to every corner of my consciousness. Like my fear, though, the madness was without substance. None of the symptoms of insanity could be materialized within the nothingness around me, the nothingness that contained me. 

Fear, anxiety, and paranoia gripped my insides—if I even had insides—boiling away all thought, but even the madness and terror couldn’t exist for long in the void, and as all emotion bled out of me, I felt one all-consuming sensation. 

Boredom.

Time flowed. I could sense it like I could sense my own consciousness, but I had no reference for the time that moved passed me. Had I been in this disembodied state of non-existence for an instant or an eternity? 

It was only when I felt a slight prickle on my arm—yes, my arm—that I jolted out of my stupor.

I had felt something. A few moments later, I felt another prickle, this time spreading across my chest. Those pinpoints of sensation soon escalated into sharp, piercing pains, and I welcomed each increasingly agonizing round of burning pain that stabbed at every millimeter of my body; the pain was proof that I existed outside my consciousness. 

The void faded into gray light, nearly imperceptible at first, then grew brighter and more solid as my vision returned, then condensed into a single white light, beckoning me, and I realized that I had experienced something like this once before. 

Then it clicked. 

A wave of panic overtook me as I approached the light. 

No. No! Please don’t tell me I’m reincarnating again.

My eyes shot open; my blurry gaze was level with the ground, my cheek pressed flat against a smooth, hard floor. 

I tried to move, to reassure myself that I was not once again a newborn. I couldn’t start over again, not now. There was too much left to do, so many people I had to protect.

I struggled to even lift my head, the surges of pain still racking my body. 

The fleshy construct felt foreign to me, heavy and stiff like wearing a suit of armor designed for a much larger man. 

I pried open my lips and forced a note from my throat. Ah… ahhh. 

My own clear, familiar baritone rang in my ears, easing some of the panic. 

I gritted my teeth and swallowed. It was like trying to swallow a scorpion, but it revealed something important.

Teeth! I have teeth!

Though I didn’t know where I was, why I felt like I had been knitted together from wet tissue, or what the hell had happened in that pocket dimension, at least I hadn’t been reborn as an infant. Again.

Trying to lift my arms proved just as difficult as if I had been, however. I might as well have been trying to uproot one of the centuries-old trees in Elshire Forest, because my body wouldn’t budge. Every motion resulted in another wave of pain, like dozens of tiny demons were pummeling me with spiked maces that had been lit on fire. 

After several attempts to push myself up from the floor—and passing out several times from the pain that came after—I gave up, gazing around the room in angry, defeated silence. 

I was in a large circular hall. Smooth white pillars held the ceiling up. A warm ethereal light glowed brightly from sconces along the walls, spaced out evenly every few feet. Familiar but indecipherable runes were etched in between each sconce. 

I pried my gaze away from the lights and focused on the ground—or more specifically, what was on the ground. 

Blood. Lots of it. 

But the blood was dried brown and caked in the corners where the floor met the walls. Still unable to move, I couldn’t investigate closely, but it seemed like this was some sort of grounds for injured people—or injured beasts. 

Vulnerable as I was, the thought of a bloodthirsty mana beast standing behind me caused a painful tremor to shiver through my body. Since I hadn’t already been eaten, though, I had to assume I was safe for the moment. 

I tried moving again to little avail. I still felt like I was in some sort of shell, as if this body wasn’t my own. 

My eyes were drawn back to the details of the walls, ground, and pillars. Due to my limited field of vision, however, there wasn’t much that I could make out, and when I ran out of distractions, unwanted and painful memories began to resurface. 

I remembered my fight against Nico, who had reincarnated into Elijah’s body—or perhaps Elijah had always been Nico. Once, a very long time ago, he had told me how his memories before arriving in the kingdom of Darv were all a blur. 

I remembered Tess sacrificing herself because I couldn’t win against Cadell, the Scythe who had killed Sylvia.

I remembered harnessing aether to create not only a pocket dimension but a teleportation gate using the medallion crafted by the ancient mages. I had known by then that I wasn’t going to survive. My body had continued to function only due to Sylvia’s dragon will and aether keeping me alive, but I had realized that, once I withdrew Realmheart, I would suffer the full impact of my exploitation of mana and aether, and that the backlash would cause my feeble human body to crumble.

I remembered my last moments with Sylvie, before she pushed me into the unstable portal. My memory of those moments in the pocket dimension was so clear that I could almost see Sylvie in front of me now. I closed my eyes, but that only made the memory feel more vivid, more real.

Tears bled out from between my tightly closed eyelids and slid down my cheeks, finally dripping onto the bloody floor beneath me. Despite myself, the memory of Sylvie disappearing right in front of me replayed over and over. 

From the bond that we shared, I knew that she had used a powerful aether art to sacrifice her own physical body to save me. 

I hated her for sacrificing herself.

But more than that, I hated myself. 

I had been so caught up in trying to handle everything my way—to save Tess, to get my vengeance against Cadell, to confront and defeat Nico—that I took for granted that anything could ever happen to Sylvie, the only one who stood by me through it all. 

I had assumed she’d always be with me.

Now, she was gone. 

My stomach lurched and my chest tightened as I held back a dry sob. I squeezed my eyes shut, grinding my teeth to try and contain myself. 

But I couldn’t. I had lost Sylvie, even though I was supposed to protect her, even though she had been entrusted to me as an egg so that I could keep her safe from the Vritra…I had lost her trying to save everyone else. 

I heaved, my shoulders convulsing as I let out guttural sobs that echoed mockingly across the room. I’m…sorry. I-I’m so sorry…Sylv. 

I lost myself for a while, sprawled on the cold stone floor, wallowing in grief and self-pity. In that moment, I wanted to stay that way, consigned to the purgatory of my fear and doubt and grief, but I was abruptly jolted out of my melancholy by the sensation of pin-pricks running up my entire body. It felt as if millions of insects were crawling all over me, beneath my skin.

A second wave came, stronger and more painful. 

On the third wave, it felt like the millions of bugs underneath my skin erupted out of me, and I lost consciousness. 

By the time I pried open my eyes and felt the cool stickiness of saliva pooled underneath my cheek, I knew I had been out for a while. 

Peeling my face off of the wet floor, I rolled over onto my back. 

I felt a brief moment of elation at the fact that I could actually move, but this was interrupted by an overwhelming sense of thirst. 

Swallowing what little saliva I had left to moisten my dry throat, I pushed myself up onto my elbows. The motion felt off and my body was stiff and alien, but I was still excited about my new range of motion. 

Sitting on the ground, I was immediately distracted again by the sight of my own hands.

Strange… 

My hands were pale—almost white—and there wasn’t a single flaw on them. The calluses on my palms, accumulated through years of wielding a sword, were gone. The scars on my knuckles were gone. Even the scars on my wrist that I had received from the toxic witch—the first retainer I had fought—were gone, replaced by smooth, unmarked skin. 

It seemed like Sylvie had done much more than heal my wounds from abusing Realmheart Physique. 

My arms were still toned with the muscles I had accumulated over years of training, but they were thinner. My hands also looked smaller and my fingers more delicate.

When my gaze shifted down to my forearms, more specifically my left forearm, I felt a sharp pang across my chest. 

The mark was gone.

Panic rose in me once more as I began frantically turning my arm to see if it was on the other side somehow, but it wasn’t. The mark that I had received after forming my bond with Sylvie had completely vanished alongside all of the scars and calluses. 

Before you get all weepy, look to your right, a clear, cynical voice said from nearby. 

Turning to my right, I saw a translucent, rainbow-colored stone the size of my palm. My eyes widened, and I dove toward the colorful stone and grabbed it. 

I-is this…? 

Yup. It’s your bond, the voice said curtly.

A black will-o-wisp the size of my fist floated into view. Within the ball of dark light, two bright sparks glinted like eyes and a black slash below them made me think of a mouth twisted into a wry smile.

I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could continue, the will-o-wisp darted closer to me. It dipped, as if bowing.

Behold, master. I—Regis, the mighty weapon gifted to you by the asuras so long ago—have finally manifested in all my glory! the dark orb declared before…letting out a sigh. Honestly, I wish you’d have been conscious for it. It was pretty damn impressive.

255

The Next Message

Confusion gave way to surprise, then to anger. 

Why…? I ground out through clenched teeth.

Why what? The will-o-wisp’s light dimmed, and it twisted slightly in the air, like a dog tilting its head in confusion. I found the simplicity, the sentience of the expression infuriating.

Why?! I roared, funneling all my frustration, anger, and fear into the dry scream, feeling it tearing at my dehydrated throat but caring little in the moment. I lunged forward, taking a slow and painful swing at the black ball of flames.

My hand passed directly through the will-o-wisp, and I didn’t have the strength to halt my forward momentum. I toppled forward, slamming my face hard on the smooth, cold floor. 

Hey, keep your hands to yourself, buddy! the will-o-wisp snapped. That is a major infringement of my bodily autonomy.

Heaving myself back up into a sitting position, I let my rage seethe and bubble within me as I stared at the spot on my left palm that Regis had come from. 

"Why? Why the hell are you here now? After years of draining my mana, but doing nothing useful, why appear now? I turned my glare on the black flame. If you had come out earlier, I could’ve won. I could’ve saved everyone!" My voice cracked as I thought of my loved ones back on Dicathen, my vision blurring as tears welled up in my eyes.

Well aren’t you a ray of sunshine. The asuras would die trying to fight over a sentient weapon like me, yet here you are, moping about— 

I needed you, I said, the words hissing past my lips in a bare whisper, tears dripping to the rust-red ground as I clawed at the smooth floor. 

The will-o-wisp shook from side to side as if shaking its head, but remained silent. A small bubble of guilt bloomed somewhere deep in my stomach, but it wasn’t my own. It was clearly Regis’s feeling of guilt at not having been there, and the sting of my rebuke. I sighed. I was angry at Regis, but I also knew I was just using him as an excuse for my own failures.

As my tears ran dry, I became more aware of the burning in my parched throat. I needed to find something to drink. 

There’s a pool of clean water here, Regis said. Drink something before you cry yourself into a mummy. 

I hesitated, distrustful of both the will-o-wisp and the water, but also angry at myself, angry at the dark place in my heart that was telling me to curl up in the corner and wait for the end. What was the point? I had failed, and had lost everything. Again. Then the small iridescent egg glistened in the corner of my eye. 

Yes, that’s it. You can do it! Do it for that rock! Regis said, bobbing up and down excitedly.

Pushing aside all of the emotions that weighed down on my body, I dragged myself in the direction Regis led me. 

My milky, pale arms looked foreign to me as I crawled across the room. I still felt like I was in a full suit of armor despite being almost bare.

Come on, that’s a big strong boy now, almost there, Regis taunted, hovering around me like a fly I couldn’t swat. 

Shut…up… I wheezed, my lungs aching with the effort.

I focused my attention on the marble fountain beckoning to me, the water running so clearly and silently from the top that it looked like glass.

It required a herculean effort to pull myself up over the rounded base that held the water, but, still thinking of Sylvie, I heaved until, shaking and sweating, I could see down into the clear water. I immediately buried my head inside. 

It felt like I had slammed my face into a wall of ice. I opened my mouth and gulped it all in, the water crisp and cool as it rushed down my throat.

I continued to swallow mouthfuls of water until I couldn’t hold my breath any longer. 

Gah! As I pulled my head out, gasping for breath, a curtain of beige covered my vision. 

I brushed my hair out of my eyes, then grabbed a strand and stared at it incredulously. Regis chortled behind me. 

You’re acting like a pup seeing its own tail for the first time. 

Ignoring him, I looked down, seeing my reflection for the first time since waking up. My eyes widened. 

The face staring back from the icy depths looked a lot like me, only a bit older, with sharper features and skin the same milky white as my arms. 

The red scar around my throat, which I had also received from the retainer I faced at the Battle of Slore, was no longer there, showing only a smooth, long neck and Adam’s apple. 

But what shocked me the most were the changes in my hair and eyes. My eyes were a piercing gold and the color seemed to have been completely washed out of my once-auburn hair. My head of deep reddish-brown was now a pale wheat color, even lighter than Sylvie’s hair in her human form. 

My chest tightened at the sight of my reflection, my own hair and eyes now a constant reminder of my bond’s sacrifice. This was accompanied by a pang of loss, however, like I’d become yet another step removed from my loved ones. The features I’d inherited from my parents were gone.

I don’t understand. What— Searing pain ignited inside me, as if my mana core had suddenly caught on fire, and a scream burst from my throat.

My vision doubled and became hazy, then I heard a voice. It was one that I hadn’t heard in a long time, but one I could never forget. 

Hello, Art, this is Sylvia. 

My heart pounded against my ribs as excitement rose up to replace the burning pain in my core. S-Sylvia? 

I’m recording this at the same time as my first message to you, but I suspect that, for you, it has been quite some time since you’ve heard my voice. I suppose I should say that it has been a while. 

I let out a laugh as I felt fresh tears stream down my cheeks. 

I’m conflicted to know that you’re hearing this message. On the one hand, I’m proud that you’ve been able to get to where you are now. But the fact that you’ve had to push yourself to this point means that life has not been easy for you, perhaps even more difficult than your previous one. 

Her tone had grown somber, her words heavy. 

Having gotten to this stage means that you’ve had to fight for your life against foes much stronger than you, and that could only be Agrona and the Vritra that serve him. 

I bristled at the mention of Agrona’s name, but Sylvia’s voice only seemed sad…almost heartbroken. 

"A war between Agrona and the asuras is inevitable, and Dicathen will likely be caught in the middle of it. There is much to tell you, but there is a limit to the amount of information I can store without it being traceable, so I shall be succinct.

With my daughter as your bond and the fact that you are reborn, my father will most likely have taken extreme measures to bring you in, offering you training and guidance in exchange for using your talents in the war. And through your exposure to my people, you’ve certainly received a very one-sided story. 

Again, Sylvia’s voice was tinged with sadness.

"The tension between the Vritra and the other asuran clans is not as simple as you’ve been told. Unlike fairy tales and bedtime stories for children, life does not always have a good and bad side—only ‘my side’ and ‘their side.’

Agrona can’t be forgiven for all of the atrocities he has committed over the centuries, but neither can the other asuras—myself included.

Confusion overwhelmed my thoughts, and my mind spun, trying to make sense of what Sylvia was saying, but I pulled myself back into the moment as she began speaking again, afraid to miss a single word. 

"Agrona, who had always been fascinated by the lives of lessers, uncovered the ruins of a civilization of mages—mages that had learned to harness aether.

It was Agrona who discovered why these ancient mages had fallen despite their technological and magical advancements. Centuries ago, the Indrath Clan had committed genocide against these ancient mages. 

That doesn’t make any sense! Why would the Indrath Clan kill off a—my question was interrupted as Sylvia’s message continued. 

"The Indrath Clan had been distinguished as leaders among the other asuran clans and were revered as beings closest to true gods, not just for our strength, but because our control over aether could not be replicated by any others. So when one of the emissaries from the Indrath Clan discovered a reclusive civilization of lessers that were able to harness these aetheric powers, the dragons grew resentful.

Fearing that their power and authority could be questioned, the elders ordered for the…elimination…of the lessers. From what I’ve been told, unlike our clan, which had developed and trained our aether arts for battle, these ancient mages had only sought to improve life through technological advancements. 

Sylvia paused, letting silence linger in my mind as I imagined the inevitable results of a battle between the Indrath Clan and a civilization of peaceful lessers.

"This act of genocide has been kept as the Indrath Clan’s darkest secret, kept from the other asura and even many of our own clansfolk. The mages’ technology has been concealed and studied, but because of how elaborate their underground cities are, and because of the great pains they took to lock their knowledge away from the asuras, we were never sure if we had truly discovered all that they had hidden. 

Agrona found one of these concealed ruins and threatened to expose the Indrath Clan for their wrongdoings, claiming that they had violated the noblesse oblige that we asuras held over lessers. You can imagine how my clan elders reacted to this. Knowing that Agrona loved to disguise himself and sneak off to Dicathen and Alacrya for his research, they accused him of having intimate relations with lessers, then exiled him to Alacrya. 

I shook my head. It was difficult to imagine Kordri, or Myre, or Aldir participating in such petty political turmoil, but when I thought of the cold, overwhelming presence of Lord Indrath, I found that I wasn’t really surprised at all. 

My biggest regret will always be allowing my family to completely destroy the life of my betrothed…and my unborn child’s father. 

Does this mean that—

"Signs of my pregnancy showed only a few months after Agrona had been exiled. A new member of the Indrath Clan being born was rare, and should have been a celebrated occasion, but I knew that neither my clan nor any of the clans of the Great Eight would approve of me having this child, and so when I learned one night that my father was planning an assassination for Agrona in Alacrya, I tried to reach Agrona first. 

"I confess that I was young and foolish, Arthur. Rebelling against my parents for depriving me of the man I thought I loved, I found Agrona in Alacrya before the unit my father had sent after him could. The man I found was not the coy and charming knowledge-seeker I had fallen in love with, though, but a man driven mad by the betrayal of his clansmen…and his love—me.

"He and his loyal Vritra Clan followers had scoured through the buried texts of the ancient mages and tried to build upon their work in a different direction, using the lessers as test subjects. I do not know what his end plans are aside from conquering Epheotus, but he has been investigating an element—an edict, higher than what aether encompasses, above that of time, space, and life. 

Fate.

The word ‘Fate’ immediately brought to mind one person: Elder Rinia. She was not only a diviner but someone who could control aether. She had expressed adamantly that she was not related to the ancient mages but…

My brain hurt from trying to make sense of all the information Sylvia had left for me. 

Fate ties into not only the life we live in now but lives elsewhere and elsewhen. 

My breath hitched. 

"I’m sure this sounds familiar to you. Fate, after all, is the core component to reincarnation. Agrona believed that the vessel was the key component in forceful application of reincarnation, which is why I could not risk you falling into Agrona’s hands. My true knowledge in this is limited, though, and I am being drawn off course. I’m sorry, Arthur, I do not have much longer.

"After finding out that I carried a child of both basilisk and dragon lineage, Agrona kept me imprisoned until I gave birth. Of course, I couldn’t let my child be subject to his cruel experiments, so I locked her in a pocket dimension that I created within the stone.

"Though I did not discover the scope of Agrona’s plans before my escape, I did learn that there are four ruins built by the ancient mages that neither he nor any other asuras are able to cross into. I have imprinted within this message the locations of these four ruins. Agrona had been breeding lessers and sending them into the ruins to learn more about what is down there. He can’t be the one to discover these secrets, whatever they may be.

"What I am leaving you with is not some grand quest. That was never my intention. But if you are in a situation where you are lost or feel weak and outnumbered, perhaps the answer Agrona is looking for is the answer you are as well.

Take care of my daughter and yourself. Goodbye, little one. 

Just like that, Sylvia’s voice faded, leaving me stunned. There had been too many revelations to make sense of all at once. Indrath and the others…They had lied to me. They had used me. They had hidden the fact that Sylvie was Agrona’s daughter…all to cover up their secret. 

Lord Indrath was a genocidal maniac…but was he worse than Agrona? If I had to make a choice, could I side with Agrona despite everything he had done?

No. But I didn’t have to forgive Indrath either. It was his fault Sylvia had died alone in a cave. It was his fault that Agrona had been allowed to overtake Alacrya, to experiment on the people there, and to go to war with Dicathen. 

Damn it! Damn it all! 

It was only when Regis floated out of my chest that I was jolted from my thoughts.

Well, that was a lot to take in, the black will-o-wisp said. 

I stared at it. You were able to hear all that?

"Why else would I want to literally be inside you? Regis’s bright eyes rolled within his incorporeal body. Now, I’ve got some good news and bad news—well, two pretty good news and one really bad news. What do you want to hear first?" 

I hobbled back to the iridescent stone and picked it up. Within was Sylvia’s daughter, my bond, who she had entrusted me to take care of.

Let’s just start with the good news, Regis said, hovering in front of me. Based on what I discovered while you were lying over there half-dead, I think we’re actually in one of the hidden ruins of the ancient mages the old dragon lady mentioned. 

I pried my gaze off of the stone in my hand and looked up. Are you sure? 

Yup, take a look at the door on the opposite end of this room. Along with the dried blood and drinkable water fountain, I’d say that this is some sort of waiting grounds for whatever horrendous challenges that the ancient mages built to keep outsiders from whatever knowledge is stored at the bottom. 

I studied the metal door, which was etched with runes along the frame, then glanced at Regis.

Yeah, you might be right, I admitted blandly. 

Regis gasped. "Regis has gained master’s approval! Regis is worthy!"

Ignoring this, I looked back down at the small stone in my hand. 

The second good news you’ve probably guessed, but I confirmed that Sylvie is alive by taking a peek inside.

You went inside here? I asked, holding up the stone. 

I was curious, Regis said, bobbing in what could only have been a shrug. Anyway, your bond used a high-level vivum art to give you some of her asuran body in order to save you… 

Regis’s eyes turned sharp. Which leads me to the bad news. I don’t think you were able to hear Sylvia’s message because you’ve ascended past the white core stage. In fact, your core is damaged beyond recognition.

256

Resolve

Damaged? No, that’s not… My voice trailed off as I felt the internal condition of my body. 

Regis was right. When I tried to spread mana throughout my body, an act as natural as breathing for a Lance, there was only a slight tingle. 

Changing tactics, I tried to gather ambient mana. This time, I couldn’t feel anything at all—no blanket of warmth like before, when mana once rushed inside me and coalesced in my core. 

No, I muttered, heaving my heavy body up onto my feet. 

I threw a jab, attempting to channel mana from my core through the necessary parts of my body needed to carry out a punch. It felt painfully slow.

Arthur… Regis said, floating up in front of my face. 

Ignoring him, I pivoted and kicked forward. I stumbled and fell, unable to even keep my balance. 

Pushing myself up, I tried moving my body again. It reminded me of my time as a toddler in this world: my brain knew how to move, but my body just wouldn’t listen.

I fell, and I fell again, each time more infuriating and embarrassing than the last.

After a particularly bad stumble when my face hit the smooth floor, my arms unable to even react in time to cushion my fall, I stayed on the ground. 

"What the hell is wrong with me!" I howled in frustration, rubbing at my already bruising cheek.

All of that hard work—years upon years of training and refining my core, learning to control all of the elements effectively—all gone. 

I pounded my head on the ground, barely feeling anything more than a dull throb despite how hard the floor shook, and screamed in helpless frustration.

Whether I had calmed myself or had just run out of energy, I didn’t know, but I found myself staring at Sylvie’s stone. I imagined her curled up in her fox form inside the stone, warm and snug and sleeping, waiting for me to rescue her.

She had sacrificed her life for me and was reduced back to this state. She was the one that paid the price for all my stupid choices. 

If I can’t get things together for myself, I need to do it for her. At the very least, I owe her that. 

I got up and silently made my way back to the water fountain. Cupping my hands, I brought the cold water to my mouth and drank. After quenching my thirst, I splashed some water on my face and washed off the remnants of dried blood from the floor before taking a hard look at my reflection. 

A slightly older and sharper-faced Arthur looked back at me with piercing gold eyes. My hair reminded me of bleached sand as it flowed just past my shoulder in waves. It was as if my new physical body was a tribute to her. I was glad that I was still Arthur, but, looking into my golden eyes, I felt appreciation for the opportunity to share these features, even as I felt the sharp guilt that I did so only because of Sylvie’s sacrifice.

What would Ellie say when she saw me, I wondered. Would I hear her exclaim Brother! or would she look at me like I was a stranger? Mom would look into my golden eyes and her heart would break, knowing my father’s deep blue eyes were gone. Would Tessia still…love me?

You have to figure out some way to get back to them to know for sure, I reminded myself.

Ripping a thin strip of cloth from my tattered pants, I tied my hair back. 

What do we do now? I asked, turning to Regis. 

The will-o-wisp’s shining eyes quirked like someone cocking an eyebrow. You realize you’re asking advice from a weapon, right? 

I remained silent, staring at him until he sighed and rolled his eyes.

You’re a bag of laughs, he grumbled as he floated toward me. Well, it’s not like we have much of a choice, seeing as there is only one way out of this room. 

So we just go through the door? I confirmed, already heading to the large metal door. 

Hold it, Goldilocks, he began. Are you trying to get yourself killed? 

What do you mean? I asked before the familiar term registered in my brain. And how do you know who Goldilocks is? 

I’m made from you, remember? All of the things you know, whether from this life or your past life, has influenced what I am right now, he answered. So really, if you’re ever annoyed with me, remember that you’re just annoyed at yourself. 

I don’t remember ever being this sardonic or derisive, I retorted. 

Well…to be more specific, I guess I’m an amalgamation of you, Sylvia, your bond, and that Vritra retainer, Uto, the floating black fire explained. Those were the primary sources of mana I manifested from, anyway.

That explains a lot, I thought, looking at Regis in a new light.

Anyway, he droned, You’re not in a state where you should be going through any sort of door haphazardly, especially if this entire place was meant to keep people out. 

Yeah, I know, I cut in. My core is pretty messed up and my body feels like it’s made of lead or something, but it’s not like we can just stay here. 

Disregarding your injured core for a moment, do you remember when I said that Sylvie used some pretty heavy aether voodoo on you to keep your body from basically destroying itself? 

I nodded my head. Mhm. 

Well, perhaps the one good thing that came out of all of this—aside from myself, of course—is your new body, Regis explained. Your body, while not being completely draconic, is pretty damn close. 

My eyes widened and I immediately lowered my head, looking down at my arms and torso. Aside from the color of my hair and eyes changing, the features of my face becoming a little sharper and my skin becoming paler, it didn’t feel any different from my human body—actually, it felt worse. 

I’m not sure how much pain you actually remember feeling, Regis said, as if reading my thoughts, but you nearly died during this ‘metamorphosis.’ It’ll take some time and a lot of effort to temper your body.

How do I temper this new body of mine, and what happens after I’m able to? I asked. 

Beats the hell out of me, Regis said, bobbing in a way I equated to a shrug. I’m not some floating encyclopedia, chief. 

So you just want me to wait here and hope that my body will get better? I snapped. What about you? You’re supposed to be a powerful weapon tailored for me, can’t I use you to get out of here, or is floating around and talking the only thing you know how to do? 

Oh, yeah, cause being sharp and sword-shaped really served your last weapon well, Regis snapped back, the black flames flaring angrily. You know, I’ve been nothing but helpful after you practically killed yourself. Your Highness should show a little more appreciation. 

I wouldn’t have had to go so far if you had manifested during the battle with Nico and Cadell, but I guess it wouldn’t have mattered if you did come out then. It’s not like you could’ve been any help! 

Boo-friggin-hoo! The only reason you are alive and sane right now is because of me! 

Bullshit, I said, unwilling to believe the will-o-wisp. 

What do you think would have happened if I hadn’t taken the mana from Uto’s horn, genius?

Thinking back to the moment the acclorite had absorbed most of the mana that was stored in the broken horn, I got even more annoyed. You want me to thank you for stealing most of the mana from Uto’s horn—mana that would’ve helped make me stronger?

If it hadn’t been for me taking most of it, you would’ve been driven mad, Regis answered. And for all that trouble, I get to be born, live, and probably die inside of some ancient death trap while the black sludge that is Uto’s mana boils around inside of me, my one and only companion an ungrateful moron.

Fuming, I didn’t respond. 

Time seemed to stop for a moment as we remained silent until Regis spoke up glumly. I don’t know what I am. Maybe I was forced out of you before I could fully develop, but I’m not sure what sort of weapon I am, and it’s been driving me crazy. 

I sank down on the ground and let out a sigh. Looks like we’re both pretty messed up right now. 

True, but you dug yourself into the hole you’re in right now. I was forced into it, Regis said, but his tone was light, joking, and the flames of his body fluttered calmly. 

I let out a laugh. You’re right. 

Taking out the stone that Sylvie was slumbering inside of, I stared at it longingly. I missed Sylvie. She would’ve known what to do with everything I’d been told. 

If the Indrath Clan was capable of committing genocide just because they felt their authority was being threatened, the asuras were no better than Agrona and the Vritra Clan. 

Sylvia said that four ruins, made by the ancient mages and protected somehow from the asuras, held the key to wielding Fate…whatever that meant. Fate was an abstract, a way that people made sense of the world around them. Was there really such a thing as Fate, an edict of aether like aevum, spatium, or vivum? What would it even do? How would you utilize such a power? 

Does it even matter now? What can I do? My mana core is destroyed to the point where, even if I can start using mana again, I don’t think it can ever get to the same heights as before. My body may be draconic now, but I don’t even know what that fully means, and the weapon that I’ve been waiting for…

"Get down!" Regis hissed, suddenly flying into my body. 

‘Stay up against the wall and act dead, or at least unconscious!’

I backed up against the wall and fell to the ground just in time to see a column of blue light appear in the center of the room. 

Letting my bangs cover my face, I kept my eyes open despite Regis’s insistence. 

As the pillar of blue dimmed, I was able to make out the silhouettes of three figures. My heartbeat quickened, excited to see other people here, but Regis berated me, telling me not to even think about getting up. 

The light completely faded, leaving only the three figures standing in the center of the room—two males and one female.

The larger of the two men was clad in a mixture of plated and leather armor that did nothing to hide his bulging muscles. He carried a spiked mace in each hand, both dripping with blood that matched the color of his short crimson hair. 

The slimmer man was built like an athlete, with broad shoulders and toned arms underneath a brushed-silver suit of armor. 

The woman had red eyes that shone like crystals underneath a curtain of midnight blue—almost navy—hair, and it was she who spotted me first. 

After she turned to study me, it only took a moment for the two men beside her to notice me as well, and when they did, they didn’t react nearly as subtly as the woman had. 

The larger one swung his mace, splattering blood on the ground as he approached me, while the second man drew a longsword out of thin air and positioned himself between me and the girl. His sharp eyes narrowed and a soft vibration hummed from his blade. 

I shut my eyes, afraid that they’d see that I was awake. 

Shit, what do we do, Regis? 

‘Stay down! You’re no match for anyone right now.’

He’s going to kill me!

‘Wait! Don’t move until I tell you!’

I peeked open an eye to see the hulking man towering over me. 

‘Not yet!’ Regis hissed in my head. 

Speaking up from behind her companion, the woman said, Leave her. 

‘Pfft! She thinks you’re a girl!’ Regis thought, snickering in my mind.

Shut up. 

She might be a threat to us in the lower levels, Lady Caera, the large man warned. There are those who would feign weakness to make us lower our guard. 

Have some pity on her, Taegen. The fact that neither of you were able to sense her immediately means that her mana core is broken, the woman answered. She won’t be a threat. Let’s move. We’ll rest in the next sanctuary room. 

Taegen let out a dissatisfied grunt before turning around, following after the other two. 

I let out a mental breath of relief as I began to relax, then I saw it: All three of their outfits had been purposely designed to expose their spines, covered only by chainmail or a thin mesh that I could clearly see through. And running down all three backs, along their spines, were the same kind of runes I had seen on so many Alacryan mages. 

Anger flared within my chest, and immediately, the man named Taegen whirled around to face me. 

I took a deep breath in and slowly exhaled, forcing myself to be calm and still, for my heartbeat to slow, and for my mind to settle into the blank, emotionless state I had adopted so often as King Grey. 

Time seemed to crawl by as the Alacryan studied me, confused. 

Let’s go! the other man called out to Taegen, and the crimson-haired warrior turned back. 

I must’ve waited for over thirty minutes, even after they had left through the door, before I got up.

Wow, now that got my little black heart pumping! Regis exclaimed, shooting out of my body. It’s a good thing that gorgeous woman has a heart as large as her— 

Regis! I snapped. 

The will-o-wisp bobbed around, flickering with delight. Well, someone is upset that they were called a girl… 

No, I’m—

You can check your pants if you want. You’re still physiologically a male, Regis cut in. 

Why are Alacryans here? I asked, changing the topic. 

I would assume that, as Sylvia said in her message, they are here scouting out these ruins that asuras apparently can’t go into.

A feeling of dread washed over me. Does that mean we’re somewhere below Alacrya now? 

Beats me, but if those ancient mages were able to tinker with aether to such an extent that even Agrona wants to know their secrets, I’m guessing that we could be anywhere in the world. The room that we’re in right now could be somewhere at the bottom of the ocean, and that door could be a portal that takes us to the other side of the world! 

Closing my eyes, I envisioned the locations of the four ancient ruins that Sylvia had imparted to me. It wasn’t some sort of internal map laid out for me to visualize; it was more like an artificial memory that had been embedded into my brain. It confirmed for me what Regis had said earlier: we were inside one of the four ancient ruins.

What it didn’t tell me was where this ruin was located in the world.

So what’s the plan, m’lady? Regis chimed.

I kept my eyes shut and took a deep breath. Relying on the habits I had developed throughout my lifetime as Grey, I bottled up the emotions gnawing at me, tucking away the stray thoughts that lay scattered about in my head and tightly packing and storing the feelings of panic and dread that encroached on my mind. I was left with a simmering anger to give me strength, and the cool and comforting numbness necessary to think ahead. 

Whatever was on the other side of that door, those three had likely taken down or cleared through most of it. I couldn’t waste an opportunity like this. 

I opened my eyes with newfound resolve and turned to Regis. Let’s go.

257

Left Behind

ELEANOR LEYWIN

The little stream in our underground town built by the ancient mages was burbling away happily. It was lucky, I thought. It was able to simply exist, running among the rocks and singing its bubbly little song. Even when Boo swiped a glitterfish out of the water, it wasn’t like the stream experienced the loss of the fish. It didn’t have a heart to be broken. 

But I did—and it was. Everywhere I looked I was constantly reminded of my family’s legacy of failure, loss, and death.

I was reminded of our failure in every tired, hopeless face, and in every sad, knowing look I got from the others. 

Even if they had their own losses, they still treated my mother and me like glass—like glass trophies. It was like we were something to beam at, to keep out where everyone could see, but could not interact with…to treat like we still mattered, even though we were just relics of better times, when the great Arthur Leywin still protected Dicathen.

When my brother and Sylvie disappeared, it was like the last piece of solid ground in the world had slipped away from under our feet, and now we were all slowly sinking into the dark waters of despair.

Or that’s how Kathyln put it, anyway.

It was weird. I’d have thought the death of her parents would have been a little more important to her than my brother’s disappearance, but I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised; everyone always loved Arthur the Lance, Arthur the general, Arthur the hero.

But I had loved Arthur the brother, Arthur the friend…when he was around, anyway.

My mother had faded into the background, happy to smile sadly and say thank you whenever someone offered their condolences. At best, she offered the occasional bit of healing to some injured refugee that the soldiers dragged back down into the shelter.

I think she had been so close to the edge of despair already that when Arthur didn’t return from rescuing Tessia, she lost hope for everything else. It hurt to admit, but if not for me, I think she’d have just curled up and gone to sleep, then never opened her eyes again.

Picking up a flat, smooth rock, I tossed it up in the air and caught it again. 

How long had it been since Arthur and I had stood here on the bank of this underground stream and he had taught me how to skip stones across the water? Days? Weeks? I might as well have died and been reborn since then.

Letting out a scoff, I hurled the stone violently at the surface of the water where it splashed in a satisfying sort of way. 

Boo, who had taken his catch and lumbered off to find a soft, mossy place to eat, lifted his head to gaze seriously at me. The dark spots above his eyes came together, which always made him look grumpy.

Sorry Boo. I’m fine. Though I wasn’t sure he believed me, the giant bear-like mana beast snorted and went back to his meal.

With an arm like that, have you considered throwing rocks at our enemies instead of shooting arrows?

I turned, startled, but relaxed when I realized it was only Helen Shard, leader of what was left of the Twin Horns. Helen had been my mentor in the castle, teaching and helping me improve my ability to fire arrows of pure mana from my bow.

It had been a huge relief when she had arrived at the refuge with Durden and Angela Rose, and she had been quick to take up the role of my mentor again.

She seemed to have some sort of magical sense of when I was slipping into a mood, as she put it, because she always turned up to support me. 

I flicked my hair in the girlish way I knew annoyed her and looked back at the stream. I was trying to catch a fish for mom’s dinner.

From the corner of my eye I saw her raise a brow, smirking. A fish? With a rock?

Shooting one with my bow would be too easy, I said haughtily, turning my nose up slightly and putting my chin forward, the very picture of an overconfident, self-assured child. Helen had always pushed me to be different from the noble children in the castle, and it aggravated her to no end when I acted like them.

Turning serious, Helen gestured toward the water. Let’s see it then.

Returning her serious look, I picked up my bow from where it rested against a nearby boulder and inspected the clear water. Every thirty seconds or so, a dimly glowing fish would swim slowly past, heading down the stream. 

My brother had explained once that things you see in the water aren’t quite where they appear to be because the water bends the light. With this in mind, I drew back the string of the bow and conjured a thin arrow of mana. Then I waited. 

A wobbly blue line in the gloomy stream told me a fish was coming. I waited until it passed into the wide, shallow part of the stream where I was standing, then prepared to take the shot. At the last instant, I tethered the arrow to me with a thread of pure mana, then let it fly. 

The beam of white light slipped into the water with the tiniest plop, and the fish jerked, sending up a splash. I yanked at the tether, causing the arrow to jump out of the water and fly back to my hand, the glitterfish neatly impaled through the gills. 

Helen began to clap slowly, shaking her head and letting her mouth hang open as if in awe. Incredible, Eleanor, simply incredible. She then marched toward me, pulled the glitterfish off the arrow, gave it a single hard crack against one of the large rocks lining the edges of the stream, saluted me with the dead fish, and turned to walk away.

Hey, that’s mine!

Consider it payment for a lesson well learned, she said over her shoulder, not breaking her stride. "With a talent like yours, it surely won’t be any trouble catching another?"

Half irritated, half amused, I turned back to the water, feeling better. I decided that I might as well shoot a few more fish and take them home to Mom for dinner. 

As I drew my bow again, though, movement on the other side of the stream caught my attention and I instinctively aimed in that direction. 

Oh!

It took a second for my eyes to focus in the dim light, but when they did I immediately cancelled my spell, and the glowing white arrow fizzled and faded away. 

Sorry, Tessia. 

After an awkward pause, her eyes probing me like she was trying to read my mind, Tessia continued her walk down the steep edge on the other side of the stream. It was a little deeper on that side, and there was an ancient hunk of petrified log embedded in the ground that made a perfect bench on which to sit and cool one’s feet in the water. 

Sorry, Tessia said quietly, her gaze turned downward to the stream. I didn’t realize anyone was here when I decided to come take a dip.

But you got here, saw me, and decided to help yourself anyway. 

It’s fine, I said in the tone of voice that told her it wasn’t fine at all. I was just leaving anyway.

Slinging my bow over my shoulder and gesturing to Boo, I turned to walk back up the embankment, but my heartbeat quickened with each step I took, pumping anger and resentment through me until I just wanted to stop and scream.

Tessia hadn’t been out and about much since Arthur disappeared. I’d seen her a couple of times, but this was the first time I’d been close enough to talk to her, and I realized suddenly that I was overflowing with things I wanted to say to her.

Nothing you say here is going to change anything, Ellie, I told myself through gritted teeth. Shouting and cursing at Tessia isn’t going to undo— 

I spun on my heels and met Tessia’s eye. It’s your fault he’s gone, I hope you know that.

She flinched but remained silent, infuriating me even more.

It’s your fault, and you’ll never, ever be able to fix it. My voice grew louder as I persisted. He was our best chance to ever have a life outside of this cave again, but he was also a big, fat idiot who couldn’t just let you go! You should have known that!

My voice constricted as I rubbed away an angry tear with the back of my hand. W-why didn’t you just stay here? Why?

The elven princess clenched her jaw as her gaze fell, but when she spoke, she was frustratingly calm. I couldn’t, Ellie. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Maybe, if I knew then how it was going to end…but they were my parents. After a beat of silence, Tessia looked up at me, her turquoise eyes glimmering with tears. Tell me, honestly, what would you have done?  

I wanted to grab her by her stupid, pretty silver hair and shove her headfirst into the water. She had run away from the shelter, defying both logic and the pleas of my brother and Virion, and forced Arthur to go after her. Because of her selfishness, Sylvie and Arthur had vanished. 

Boo growled and stood up, sensing my anger. His presence gave me courage.

I’d have listened! I shouted, not even sure it was true.

Then maybe you’re wiser than me, Ellie—and that’s why I need you…and maybe you need me as well. Tessia’s bright eyes locked onto mine, her gaze imploring and hopeful, but conflicted. 

I don’t need you, I hissed. 

A frown flickered across her face. Don’t you think I notice how they treat you? Like you’re a child, like you don’t have anything to add? Like you only have value in your connection to Arthur? Don’t you think I know how that feels? Tessia rose to her feet, her jaw clenched, her expression somewhere between stoicism and desperation. "I hear what the others whisper about me behind my back, Ellie, and many don’t bother to hide their doubts, but say it openly for all to hear.

But you’re different…you’re so much more than a hero’s sister and I want to prove that to everyone. I’m not asking you to forgive me—I could never ask that of you after what I did. I know that if I hadn’t run away, Arthur might still be here with us, but nothing I can do now will bring him back, and—

"You don’t get to just accept it and move on, princess. Arthur shouldn’t have saved you! You should be dead, and he should be here, with me!" 

She smiled at me, sad and beautiful and infuriating. I’ve thought the same thing. Over and over and over. If Arthur was here, now…and I was dead… Tessia paused, took a deep breath, and forced the sad smile back on her face. "But he’s not. No matter how much I wished he hadn’t, Arthur sacrificed himself for me. And the price he paid for that is something that I will never be able to repay."  

Practically shaking with rage, hot tears starting to run down my cheeks, I opened my mouth to tell her off, to curse at her, to empty my anger into her, but the words died in my throat. I wanted to hate her so much, but I just couldn’t.

I couldn’t hate her, because Arthur had loved her. He had loved her so much that he had traded his life for hers. That’s what she meant. Her life was my brother’s last act of heroism.

It’s not fair, I thought. Why’d you do it, Arthur? Why did you leave me for her—again?

Tessia waded carefully across the shallow stream and walked up to me. She hooked the chain she wore around her neck with her thumb and pulled a pendant out from under her shirt, holding it up to me.

Arthur gave me this, Ellie. It was a small, silver leaf pendant. He gave me this, and a promise.

Caught off guard, my voice squeaked slightly as I practically whispered, What promise?

A promise only one of us could keep, it turns out. So I’m going to live, Ellie. I’m going to live for Arthur, do you understand?

I stared as Tessia stroked the pendant like it was a newborn. The elven princess was a powerful mage on the cusp of being a white core, a beast tamer capable of leveling mountains…yet, her narrow shoulders and her thin, pale arms seemed so delicate. 

Then those same thin arms were around me, and my face was pressed into her shoulder, my tears soaking into her shirt. I broke. I let the sadness and anger and fear and loneliness pour out of me, my entire body shaking as I sobbed.

We’ll get through this, Tessia repeated quietly, her hand caressing the back of my head. And we need to be strong, because even if these people curse me and belittle you, they need us. Both of us.

It just feels so pointless now, so hopeless, I said breathily, my crying nearly exhausted.

Squeezing me tighter, Tessia said, That’s how I felt too. Grandpa Virion held me and let me cry until I passed out, then when I woke up I kept crying. I lost my parents, I lost Arthur, and I lost hope. But Grandpa Virion wouldn’t let me give up, and I won’t let you either.

I pushed away from Tessia and wiped the tears from my face with my sleeve. What are we going to do?

Tessia looked over my shoulder to the center of the hidden village. Dicathen may be lost, but it’s not gone. And if that means we need to train or we need to fight, we’re going to do whatever we can to get it back. The elven princess looked at me, brows furrowed in determination. No more sitting on the sidelines.

258

A Healthy Appetite

ARTHUR LEYWIN

Preparations didn’t take very long. I tore off what was left of my tattered shirt, revealing milky white skin with little muscle definition. 

Great, I thought. One more thing I worked so hard for, gone in an instant.

My pants were mostly intact thanks to the leather cuisses. Taking off the thick sheets of leather that had been protecting my thighs, I created a makeshift vest by tearing off pieces of the leather with my teeth and using strips of my shirt to tie them together