Stranger: Just Leave: Just Leave, #1

Introduction

There was a ‘sixteen-year-old’ boy, the narrator. His name was Terry. He was born in a small city in South Korea. He was a model student who never broke the rules. He was also a smart and versatile student. He had never left his country, because he had no reason to leave. He was stable, and he never thought of challenges or adventures. He was hesitant when he needed to decide something, because he always calculated if it would affect him negatively.

One day, this boy experienced a turning point in his life. His parents asked him to go to Canada to study-abroad, because of a particular event. This time, he did not hesitate, and he decided to go. He did not know the right answer, but he chose to follow his heart.

The setting of this story is in Canada in London and Toronto, Ontario, specifically. The story is based on the author’s own experiences, but the author wants to call it Faction.

This story will be helpful to someone who: is planning to move to another country; has recently arrived in Canada (or a new country); is afraid to leave their regular life; is afraid of trying something new; or, is afraid of pursuing their dreams.

This book consists of a series of three letters. The first letter, episode one, was written to Terry’s younger brother, J. It is about adapting to a new world, excessive loneliness and struggle, and the life of a stranger. Terry is young in this episode, and everything is a first-time experience for him. There was no one who could guide him, so he had to figure out his new life by himself.

The second letter, episode two, was written to Terry’s ex-girlfriend. She and Terry were a couple at university. She was Terry’s first love. He loved her with his whole being. He had trust in their relationship, and he believed that they would eventually get married. But he was still young. He did not know that Life does not always turn out the way he plans. She left him after a whirlwind romance. He was so hurt after he broke up with her. For him, it was not just the failure of love, but also the failure of his life. Once again, there was no one who could give him advice and help ease his pain, so he had to figure it out by himself.

The third letter, episode three, was written to Terry, himself. It is a kind of soliloquy, monologue, or mumbling to himself. He lost too much. He got suspended for a year from university, lost all his friends, and his love ended in failure. He lost his life’s direction, and did not know what to do next. Once again, he had to figure it out by himself. So, he decided to try everything he could. He began to focus on himself, and not on other people and things. He began to understand himself, and gradually, he came to realize what he really wanted. He was still young, but not too young, anymore. And it was time to leave, again.

Prologue: On the Plane

2001.08.10 8:00 p.m.

Dear J,

Brother, I cannot believe that I'm leaving. I’m so nervous because it's my first time taking a long-distance flight. From the decision of ‘studying-abroad’ to ‘dropping out of school,’ there’re no delays or hesitation. It only took 10 seconds to decide. I could not believe that I would drop out of school, brother. But I did. I also could not imagine this scene, being on the plane heading to Canada. But now I’m here.

I cannot forget the face of a teacher when I asked him to confirm my school dropout. He said, I know it is not for you. You’ll fail! Yes, he might be right. He seemed quite sure of himself about it. Yes, I know. I know that I’ll possibly fail. I’ll be labelled as ‘a dropout’, ‘escaper,’ or ‘loser’ if I come back in just a few years. I knew it, man, but he didn’t have to remind me of this, right?

People always look for the reason. Without certain reason, it might not be logical and reasonable. In the same vein, people do not prefer to take any risks. This is the nature of human beings. So weak and timid! So am I. However, I don’t think I need any specific reason to leave. Look at me, J. I do not have any specific reason or purpose for ‘leaving’ at this time. The thing is, do I have the courage to leave or not?

Brother, we’re not from a wealthy family, so I’m anxious, of course. I know I don’t have any backup plans. And I also know that it’s really possible I'll fail in Canada and come back in a few years without any specific results. But I trust my belief. I have the courage that led me to this decision without realistic calculation. I believe that I can overcome any difficulties with this courage.

Six hours left to get to Pearson Airport. I cannot expect anything ahead of me. I ask you one thing, J. Pray for me. Please, pray for me. It’ll make me more comfortable and stronger. Well, I feel sleepy. Let me get some sleep for now, brother.

Regards,

T

2001.08.11 2:00 a.m.

I just woke up in the early morning. Flight attendants were serving food and drinks. Thank God! I was starving. Bibimbap, please, said I. I loved to have a ‘Korean Bibimbap’ on the plane. It tasted very good.

Few hours later, they began to hand out some small papers. One of the cabin crews made an announcement and guided us in filling out the form. It bothered me, but they reminded me to fill this out.

I spent a few hours in a daze. I guess a thirteen-hour flight was not easy for me. I was still befuddled when I heard the announcement of the captain. The plane just rolled gently, and I felt like I had just arrived! Here I am at Pearson! Oh, my God, I’ve never seen so many people of different colours. You wouldn't believe this. Now I see so many different colours! I met Mr. Kim in front of Gate 5. You heard about him, right? He just came to pick me up. Welcome to Canada, Terry. He’s smiling and seems kind and generous. Oh God, thanks a lot. It’ll take two and a half hours to get to London. My life in Canada has just begun! Yes. I just arrived here.

Regards,

T

Don’t be afraid.

Just leave.

Unplanned

Do you remember, J? Do you remember why I left you there and came here alone? It’s because of that day. Yeah, I might not have left if it hadn't happened that day.

It was a normal day. A shiny, normal day. My homeroom teacher, let me call him Mr. Lee, instructed us to stay until eleven o’clock, just an hour before midnight, for self-studying at school. He didn’t say it’s kind of a supplementary lesson but just ‘self-studying.' I knew this goddamn self-studying was ‘legally’ not mandatory. But don’t be surprised, brother. For ordinary high school students in South Korea, just like me, it was actually mandatory. But you know what? I really could not stay until eleven that day, due to the schedule of tutoring. As you know, I did three different private tutoring for math, English, and chemistry at the time, just like ordinary Korean high school students. Oh, you saw me every day coming back home late around midnight, right? That was because of private tutoring. I didn’t like it. And I didn’t like self-studying at school either. Anyway, I asked Mr. Lee if I could leave early. Sir, can I leave early today? It’s my bad, but I couldn’t reschedule my tutoring. I’m so sorry, but can you please confirm it? But he rejected harshly, No, stay until eleven. I told you, stay and just do it. The funny thing is that it was not only me asking him to leave early, but ten of my fifty classmates asked him, even if he rejected all of them. We had no other options but to stay since he was the icon of ‘Che-bol’. Che-bol was Korean school culture. Teachers had the authority to inflict corporal punishment on students, and it was an implicit permission given to them. It was kind of a distorted tradition. So we all were afraid of him. What the fuck, man? I’ve got to go. I’m paying 400,000 won for each subject a month. I don’t know. I’ve got to go. Don’t be a fool, my friend. I swear, he’s gonna kill ya. Yeah, he’s gonna kill ya. I think we better to stay, guys.

We all were afraid of him. I didn’t like this mood, though. I could not understand why we should be scared of him. Of course, I