A Moment's Worth

A Moment’s Worth

by Lauren Lola

A MOMENT’S WORTH. Copyright 2014 by Lauren Lola. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written consent of the publisher and/or the author, except where permitted by law.

All characters in this book are fictitious, and any resemblance that may seem to exist to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. This is a work of fiction.

Cover design by Lauren Lola

Author photo by Jim Lola

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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Table of Contents

1. Roommates

2. Hero

3. Final Questions

4. Blind Spot

5. Three Little Similes

6. How to Save a Life

7. The Jackie Reunion

8. Poetry and Boba Tea

9. The Game of Seeing

10. More Than Stars

11. Humanhood

12. Beyond the Darkness

13. Running After a North Star

14. The Glass House of Interesting Things

15. Airport Infinities

16. The Feather of a Hummingbird

17. Transcendence of the Celestial Messengers

18. The Dream Line

19. Earworm Frequency

20. Night Market Rhythms

21. The Grove

22. Spoilers

23. Pending Access

24. Activate: Unification

25. 2052

Glossary

Acknowledgments

About the Author

To Oma, for supporting me as I took on this hefty endeavor. If you were so caught up in reading the excerpts and drafts I sent you until 2:30 in the morning, then that definitely means something. It could take a thousand thanks yous to really thank you properly, which is why I hope this dedication counts as one of them.

An invisible red thread connects those destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break.

-Chinese Proverb

Part 1

1. Roommates

I.

I must have the most unusual living circumstances as an undergrad of UCLA. I’m from out of town, so one would assume I’d be living on campus in the dorms. Well, that was the plan originally- until two weeks before I was suppose to move in.

My dad is friends with an executive producer of a popular TV show that’s filmed in LA and was telling him how I’m starting at UCLA. That’s when the exec brought up to my dad how one of the cast members lives alone and is looking for a roommate and suggested that I take up residency with him. With a hefty schedule filled with filming episodes, interviews, special events to attend and what not, the exec explained how the cast member doesn’t want to come home to an empty house every day. My dad thought it was a great idea and when he brought it up to me, I thought so too.

Will living off campus be cheaper than living in the dorms? Certainly not! However, it would give me an advantage over other people in my freshman class by having more independence and not have the risk of being stuck with roommates that have been decided for me and who I may possibly despise. In other words, I was definitely open to the idea. After all, I’ve actually never been the one to be over the moon about celebrities- as strange as that may sound.

The only weird part about it all is that the person I am living with is a guy, and I couldn’t help but constantly ponder on this reality as he gave me a tour of his house a few days before fall quarter started. Despite it though, I went along with it. My dad is actually very fond of the actor- he’s actually met with him a few times whenever he’d have to make business trips to LA- and he wouldn’t have suggested the arrangement had he thought I was being put in an awkward- or worse- dangerous situation.

The tour of his house lasted for a mere ten minutes before he had to dash off to film for his TV show. Since then, I’ve been in and out of the house myself as fall quarter kicked off and classes and homework started filling my days.

It’s weird living with an actor. I don’t mean in the sense where normally the closest one can get to a Hollywood actor would be on the streets of LA. I mean in the sense where it’s weird living with one when I hardly ever saw him. Both of us would be in and out of the house all the time and our schedules hardly ever seemed to cross. There would be nights where I would be home studying and he would be filming for his TV show. Sometimes, he would head to set just as I’d hop in the shower in the morning. It was like living with a ghost that I know exists.

And the few times I have seen him, he would always be nice and considerate to me. However our conversations had never went beyond hi, bye, have a nice day and How was your day? If we were a married couple, without a doubt, we’d fail at it.

I had never seen his show before so I had no idea what his potential was as an actor (though I would hope it’s superb if the show has such high ratings). However I was dying to get to know him as a person. I got a sense of what he’s like the few times I had interacted with him and it was nothing but positive vibes. He was my roommate after all, so why not get to know him?

II.

It was an early Friday evening, a few weeks into the quarter. I was taking a break from preparing for midterms and playing my violin. Violin-playing has been a favorite pastime of mine since I was six and I loved the joyous rush as I moved the bow back and forth across the strings, creating one of the loveliest sounds in existence. This is one of the reasons why I’m glad to be living off campus rather than in the dorms; there’s no way I’d get away with this if I lived where there were people living so close by.

I suddenly stopped playing as soon as I heard the jingling of keys followed by the door opening. He was home! But why? He left me a note earlier saying that he would be filming late.

He walked into the living room where I was standing and I stared back at him, my bow unmoving in my hand, violin in the other, with a dumbfounded expression plastered onto my face. He looked back at me in a curious manner.

Why did you stop playing? he asked.

I shrugged, not really sure what to say.

You didn’t have to, you know. You sounded really good just now.

I blushed lightly. It’s rare for people to compliment me on my violin-playing.

Th-thank you, I managed to get out.

How long have you been playing? he asked. He seemed genuinely curious to know.

Twelve years.

Wow! And what song were you playing just now? I didn’t seem to recognize it.

My blush intensified as I prepared to answer him.

I-I wrote it.

His eyes widened at the sound of my response.

Really? Wow! That’s amazing! You must be quite a talented composer then.

I just nodded, allowing the moment to soak in.

Yeah well… it’s a hobby I indulge myself in… whenever I can, I said as I scrambled to get the violin and bow back in its case. So what are you doing home so early? I thought you had filming tonight.

That’s what I thought too, he said. However, two of the cast members got food poisoning and so since we can’t do the scene without them, filming got canceled for tonight."

Oh gosh! I hope they’re alright.

Yeah, me too.

He actually doesn’t have filming for once? This ought to be interesting, I thought to myself.

Well, I was going to make myself dinner if you want any, I said. Do you like kimchi fried rice?

He gave me a look that read only one thing: Gastric enthusiasm.

III.

I had never seen anyone eat kimchi fried rice that fast in my life. He ate it so quickly, it was as if there was no tomorrow.

Wow, I guess you must really like it, I commented after he ate every last bit off the plate.

Yeah I do! he responded enthusiastically. I’ve actually had it before, but it’s just been so long. My dad is a computer engineer and he takes quite a number of business trips, and so one time when he went to Seoul, a client there introduced him to it. That’s how I became accustomed to it. It’s actually one of my favorite foods.

But K-town isn’t that far away, I pointed out. Why haven’t you gone there to have some?

Well, given the… ‘circumstance’ of some areas there, I don’t find it wise to go there on my own, especially due to my position.

I nodded my head, understanding what he meant by that. I went to K-town with friends from school one weekend and there were indeed some spots that are hella sketchy.

Aside from that, hearing this new-found fact about him liking kimchi fried rice struck a chord in me. I’m not sure why. I know quite a number of people who enjoy kimchi fried rice as much as I do. Maybe it’s because I was hearing this from someone who I hadn’t expected to hear it from.

I allowed myself to ponder on the realization before shrugging it off. I wasn’t sure why I was making a big deal about it. It was just one little commonality.

I guess we have something in common then, I said to him in the most casual way possible. I love kimchi fried rice too. I’m Korean on my mom’s side and it was she who introduced me to it. She taught me how to make it when I was twelve.

I’m impressed, he acknowledged. She taught you well then.

We both shared a small laugh. It felt good to finally be bonding with him.

You have a really nice house, I said and I meant it wholeheartedly. It was a house that one would likely find in the suburbs; two stories, not too big, not too small; three bedrooms, two bathrooms, one kitchen, one living room, one dining room, one garage. Two of the bedrooms originally served as guest rooms. Now only one of them is, as the other now serves as my bedroom.

Oh, thank you, he responded. I wasn’t sure if you liked it or not. It’s obvious that I’m not one of those Hollywood actors who have those big fancy houses.

I shook my head. If anything, I was glad it retained a sense of normality amongst the fast-paced atmosphere here in the City of the Angels.

Oh don’t worry, I was never worried about that, I reassured him. What I was worried about was what those stupid paparazzi would say about you, bringing a random girl into your home and what not.

He smiled at the sound of this and gave a little laugh.

I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you.

I was unsure what he meant by that and my face showed it.

How do you mean? I asked.

He laughed a little again before telling me straight up, It’s because I’m gay!

A rush of revelation surged through me, not to mention a sense of relief.

Oooh! I see what you mean now.

Yeah, he laughed.

Does my dad know?

He laughed again.

Of course! Why else do you think he was so open to the idea of you coming to live with me?

He made a point there. I bet you that if he had been straight, there’s no doubt that my dad would have had me stay in the dorms, even if I was completely against it.

Yeah, I made it clear early on in my career that I’m gay, and yet even now I’m still asked about that whenever I go on talk shows and do other interviews, he said. It’s kind of annoying, actually. It’s as if they never heard of an openly gay man in the entertainment industry before.

A short silence followed. I felt sympathetic for his situation and despite not being that familiar with him, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had never told anyone this before.

I think I can understand you on that, I said after a while. "I’m not gay or bi but I know how annoying it is to be questioned on a quality that makes who you are.

"For instance, growing up I would get so annoyed when people ask me what ethnicity I am- especially when they first meet me. I am half Korean and half Irish, but I’m an overall human being just like everyone else. I don’t owe anybody a freaking explanation, you know!"

I couldn’t believe all that I was saying to him. It was rare for me to share with someone else my frustrations over people questioning my ethnicity. He looked at me with large, understanding eyes.

That’s exactly my point! he replied.

I was about to apologize for rambling on so much, but I realized that I didn’t have to. It was obvious he was appreciative of being able to connect with me in that way.

I guess judging by my lack of knowledge about you and your career, you must have figured out by now that I don’t really watch your show, I added shyly.

It’s alright; I never expected you to, he said. You’re a student at one of the best public universities in the country, so I can only imagine how occupied you must be.

How great was this guy? I never imagined someone in his occupation to be so understanding.

At this point, I felt such a desire to really get to know him, so I wasn’t afraid to ask him something I’ve wanted to ask for a while.

Do you like being an actor? I asked.

He looked at me thoughtfully upon hearing this question. It was evident that he was slightly taken aback by it too, as if I just asked him, What’s the meaning of life?

Wow, he simply spoke aloud. Out of the interviews I’ve done so far, no one has ever asked me such a simple- yet big- question.

He took a moment to ponder on it, assuming that the gears in his head were spinning to form the right words.

I love being an actor, he eventually said after some time of thought. I’ve wanted to be an actor ever since I was a little kid, when I first watched James Stewart as Elwood P. Dowd in ‘Harvey’.

"Harvey"? Wow, that’s one of my favorite films, I thought to myself.

It’s great to be in an industry where I get to do what I love; to see, think and breathe through another for awhile, he continued. I’ll admit, it does come with its perks such as having money to sustain myself and meeting people that I’ve admired my whole life; and yes, it does come with unpleasant aspects as well such as rumors being spread about you and- yes, you guessed it- paparazzi. But at the end of the day, no matter what, it’s all worth it. I’m following Confucius’s wisdom by doing what I love and never having to ‘work’ a day in my life.

It was quite an answer to my question. I have never read or seen any of his interviews, but I had a feeling he’s never told anyone that either. That almost overwhelming sense of revelation I felt earlier was arising again.

I recited the ever-familiar Confucius quote out loud to myself before telling him in all honesty, That is a quote I’ll never get tired of hearing.

I agree, he said.

At that point, we both got up and cleared off the table as I continued to talk.

That’s one of the first quotes that I wrote down in my quote book, I added.

He looked over at me in surprise as I set my plate into the sink.

He said, You keep a quote book? That’s great! So do I, and that quote is in mine as well!

Okay, this is starting to get a little ridiculous, I thought to myself. How many more things can we possibly have in common?

I smiled at him as I took his plate from him and set it in the sink. None of my friends back at home ever understood my keeping of a book of quotes, so it was quite something to come across someone else who not only understood, but kept one as well.

But that really is great you enjoy your work, I said to him brightly. Even more so, it’s incredible that you’ve known what you wanted to do pretty much your whole life.

He returned the smile.

Yeah, he said quietly, but it seems to be the only job I’ve desired that I’ve been strong enough to step into.

The look of confusion from earlier returned to my face upon hearing this as a sense of vulnerability seemed to take over his overall mood.

What do you mean by that? I asked.

IV.

He was a closeted screenwriter. Despite identifying him as a very driven individual already, I had not expected this unveiling about him.

He ran upstairs to his room soon after I asked my question as I plopped onto the couch in the living room. When he returned, he had a draft of his screenplay at hand. I knew he was really open to be telling me this secret aspiration of his as he handed me his screenplay without a second thought.

It was a good-sized screenplay so being time conscientious, I skimmed through it. My impression of it was that of awe. It was about a young man who breaks away from his heavy Catholic background and goes on a journey in search of finding a sense of spirituality to indulge him into, without having to rely on an almighty Superior Being of some sort. It was really amazing; quite unlike anything I’ve ever read before. There was this one line of narrative that really got to me: I’m agnostic. By definition, I’m unsure of what to believe in, but I’m also borderline-capable of believing in anything and everything, or nothing at all… and I want to believe in something.

If I were alone, I would have just sat there and read