FAMILY AS THE PRIMARY EDUCATOR IN HUMAN VALUES

INTRODUCTION. The family is recognized as the school human values are taught. Parents take this primary duty upon themselves by their words of instruction and also by the deeds meant to model the values necessary. It’s from the family that the larger society, the state is founded. Its success is a sign and hope of a successful society also. This institution has got roles and obligations. It relates to the society ,it influences the wellbeing of the society and it’s also affected by the changing societal issues. The Holy Scriptures regards it as the most precious gift of God to the world, the Church Teachings acknowledges it as a Divine institution. The family is both a social and a religious institution. It carries its formation role both within itself and without towards other institutions. It’s both important and urgent to reflect how the family is able to dispense its role of forming and shaping a responsible human person. The Holy Scriptures regards it as the most precious gift of God to the world, the Church Teachings acknowledges it as a Divine institution. The family is both a social and a religious institution. It carries its formation role both within itself and without towards other institutions. 1. THE FAMILY INSTITUTION The family is the basic cell of society and should be recognized before any other institution and constitutes the most precious of human values.This sanctuary of life and basic cell of society is taken as, “a primary social group based on a procreative partnership of sexes and normally constituted by the community of parents and children.” 1 J. L. Thomas, ‘family’ in New Catholic Encyclopedia, Vol V, Washington D.C , Catholic University of America, 1967. P.825 2 The Catechism of the Catholic Church, Nairobi,Paulines Publications Africa,2001, no 2207. It is formed by a man and a woman who become husband and wife and then parents. The family based on marriage is Gods idea since, according to the book of Genesis; God willed it by creating the first man and woman. God created them, male and female he created them (Gen 1:27 -28). God willed that there be families when he blessed that first couple by the words, “be fertile and multiply; fill the earth.” (Gen 1:28) The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that, through Sacramental Marriage,the Family “is the natural society in which husband and wife are called to give themselves in love and in the gift of life. Authority, stability and a life of relationships within the family constitute the foundations for freedom, security and fraternity within society. The family is the community in which, from childhood, one can learn moral values, begin to honor God and make good use of freedom. Family life is initiation to life in society.” In most of our communities, the family is seen as a sign of the future and as an instrument of continuing the generation after generation.It’s welfare is decisive for the future of the Church and of the world. Francis, Apostolic Exhortation The Joy of the Gospel, ‘ Amorialaetitia’, Nairobi,paulines publication Africa(trans), no 31. In the African society, marriage has remained important for the survival of the family name,the clan and the entire community The family is the primary instruments of procreation, education, protection, production, and social control. New Catholic Encyclopedia, p. 826.its in it that one comes to discover who they are and learns to attach and identify with a certain group of people.In the Christian perspective, the family is ordained by God for the following purposes;- - Procreation – the couples, like Adam and Eve in the book of Genesis, cooperate with God in procreation and the continuation of the human race. - Education – the parent’s duty to educate is original and primary, their rights are irreplaceable and inalienable, and cannot be delegated. The family is the first place where the children come to meet other people in form of parent, brothers and sisters.The Christian parents should not limit education of their children in natural virtues only. The family is a kind of garden in which the seeds of vocation which God sows are able to blossom and grow to full maturity. It’s the basic school of humanity where children learn to be human, to be Christian, to love and to be responsible Christians and citizens. Second Vatican Council, Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World ‘Gadium et spes’, no 52 - Sanctification – through the family the good Christians are nurtured. It’s in the family that the children first hear the name of God mentioned.Parents also introduce the idea of saints to children in the family before they are taught the same more well in the Catechism. The parental role in this human formation is governed by love, this love draws from children the best that is in them and finds its fullest expression in the task of educating. Pontifical Council of Justice and Peace, Compendium of Social Doctrines of the Catholic Church, Nairobi,Paulines Publication Africa,2005, no 239. 7AmoriaLaetitia, no 32. 8New Catholic Encyclopedia, p.826. The anthropological and cultural changes in our times influence all the aspects of life including the growth and enrichment of the family. The family is receiving less and less support especially from social structures. The parents as the first persons in the family should always consider that there are influences and forces that are affecting negatively the values and the education that holds the family in solidarity. In this family the destiny of man is developed, it’s here that he is socialized as a man and determines the framework of how he fulfills himself as an adult. When the parents neglect their role to educate their offspring, they either leave the children to grow aimlessly without anyone to guide them accordingly or they leave this role to someone else, such as the media, which isn’t prudent in the information it dispenses according to the appropriate age. The school may not be well suited to pass the most intimate information. CHALLENGES FACING THE FAMILIES. Modern family is faced with both social and economic problems. Most of the social problems arise from the changing societal structure. Most of the families have working members. Those working near home spend more time at work than they do with their families. Others are working far from home and they only visit their families seasonally. Economically most families lacks a dignified employment and cannot provide for the basic needs of the family such as heath and housing. Lack of a reliable source of financial support results in lack of access to education and other social development opportunities. The family needs a settled residence, today most families are grappling with the problem of undignified housing. The housing is not decent to fit the family life and not enough to accommodate the whole family. Lack of adequate healthcare.Most families are living in misery since they cannot afford healthcare for their sick loved ones. Amoris Laetitia, no 44. Others are forced to sell their property and are left in misery so as to support the treatment of their sick members. The problem of migration and especially the refugee destabilize the families since it disrupts the peaceful growth and communion and weakens the bond among the members especially when they are separated. ibid, no 46.Working parents have difficulties raising up children and bonding after work. ibid, no 50. Most families even cannot afford time for a common meal which is a good moment to interact and pass on some of the important values of the family. Drug abuse and its proximate problems such as alcoholism, gambling and other addictions cause break up in families and lack of adequate provision of the basic needs and wants. Ibid, no 51. Most of the time the victims of addiction are not with the family at the essential family times, others use all the resources meant to o provide for basic needs of the society to cater for their selfish needs. Breakdown in the family structure. The young people are uprooted and no longer cross knit with the family, the elders are neglected and abandoned with no one to care for them. Today the nuclear family is becoming the only accepted vehicle of social interaction. New Catholic Encyclopedia, p.831.thisdenies the younger generation more wider exposure of interacting with different generational thoughts.Families with persons with special needs at times are unable to care for them adequately. Such families are in need of social support from other families and also from the state social institutions. There is emergence two family models that have not been common in the past. Single parent families and families resulting out of same sex marriages. The traditional family values have been undermined and this current trend is just the remnant of the rapid disintegration of the old. New Catholic Encyclopedia, p.831. Thesingle parent family, where they lack one of the parents in their constitution is a real issue to be considered, it affects the society widely by altering how people relate and seems to be recently demanding for change in definition of what is a family. Another upcoming phenomenon is families resulting from same sex marriages. The marriages were not previously acknowledged, the children brought up in these unconventional environment must be given a special care to introduce them and accommodate them in conventional and generally accepted systems. FAMILY IN GOD’S PLAN Family is the center of Gods plan for the happiness and progress of His children. In the Bible God teaches why he established families beginning with Adam and Eve and in the New Testament are commandments, examples and instructions. 3.1 FAMILY IN THE OLD TESTAMENT In the ancient Israel, the family was a firm foundation stone of society. The family took precedence over the individual and was united into clan and the entire tribe. This unity contributed towards stability and continuity in society. The family was a social group. In the book of Genesis, the purpose of procreation is to replicate the image of God in man. Adam and Eve were blessed to feel the world. Through this family that they form, each generation is formed and carries forth God’s promises. They were tasked to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28) Adam and Eve then became the first family. The patriarchs like Isaac and Jacob married and had children. With great faith and great determination Abraham, protected his wife Sarah and awaited to have his son Isaac (Genesis 21) the servants of Abraham also had to travel for long distance to get Isaac Rebecca as a wife so that he may also start a family. Jacob had to work for many years in order to marry and have his own family also which is the root of the tribe of Israel (Genesis 29) The origin of Israel is from one father, Abraham, after it the family line is preserved throughout the genealogies of the Old Testament. The patriarchal system was reinforced by knowing that they had a moral duty to transmit to his children the deposit of faith that hadbeen entrusted to him. Israel was commanded, “these words which I command you this day shall be upon your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk and when you lie down, and when you rise.”(Deut 6:6-7) The religion of Israel emphasized the preservation of holiness within the family, the circumcision, redemption of the first born son the purification ritual were all carried out as a family event. The mission of the father has some religious features. Within the Old Testament family each member was regarded as important and vital. The mother was regarded as a nurturer and a caregiver, who is concerned about the provision in her household (prov 31: 27). She is characteristically hardworking (Prov 31:15-17) The children one obligation to obey the parents as if it was a command directly from God, this obedience was also tied to a promise of prosperity in the land (Deut 5:16) The joy of the parents is in the wisdom of their children (Prov 23:34) As a religious group, festivals and holy days are celebrated within the household with a truly prayerful spirit. For instance, the Passover was celebrated within the family. Every year all the Jews were bound to go to Jerusalem as a family for a pilgrimage. The family was the carrier of the covenant; this was brought out in the emphasis on the proper relationship between parents and children and the responsibility of parents to give religious teaching to their children about the covenant. God promises that, “If your children will keep my covenant and my testimony that I shall tech them, their children shall sit upon your thrones for ever.”(Psalms 132:12) The words of covenant stipulations were to be passed on to their children. The position of the father was revered; it was as reflection of the fatherhood of God. FAMILY IN THE NEW TESTAMENT In the New Testament, the religious rituals were replaced by a faith in Jesus Christ. In his daily preaching, he saw marriage as holy and essential in God’s plan from the beginning of the world and them what God has united is not to be separated by anyone (mark 10:6-9) The head of the synagogue at Corinth, Crispus.He and his family were converted at the preaching ofSt Paul and he received the ordinances of Baptism at the hands of the apostle (I Cor 1:14)We are presented with examples of some model couples that the couples of today can follow. The Centurion Cornelius who obeyed the will of God and in whose home the Church was made accessible to the Gentiles.Aquila and Prisca spread the Christianity in Corinth and Ephesus and also cooperated in the apostolate of St Paul. (1 Cor 16:19)Tabitha in the book of acts of apostles is praised since out of charity she attended to the needs of the Christians in Joppa.(Acts 9:36- 43) The figure of a father descends from the father in heaven and is named and patterned after him (Ephesians 3:14-15) The father figure is viewed as a manager who keeps his household in good condition and also an authority who keeps his children in submissive. (1 Timothy 3:4) they are not to use excessive force to seek to be obeyed but in relation to their children, they should avoid all kind of behavior that may provoke and disorient their children.(Ephesians 6:4) The wife is not only a partner to assist the husband but has also an influence over her husband. St peter observes the ability of the wives to win their husbands for Christ through their good conduct(1 Peter3:1) The place of the husband is acknowledged and they are obliged to imitate Christ’s love for his Church, “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave his life up for her.”(Ephesians 5:25) consequently, the wife is to reciprocate the love also by respecting the husband (5:33) The children are called to relate to their parents by obedience (6:1) CATHOLIC SOCIAL TEACHING The Catholic Church in its teaching underlines the centrality of the family. It’s the family that is both the cradle of all the other institutions and the central point which all the other institutions should seek to protect. Since by the very fact that Christ was born I a family, he accepted all its characteristic features and even conferred the highest dignity on the institution of marriage which is the root of family life. Compendium of Catholic Social Teachings,no 210. The family founded on marriage between a man and a woman is important both for natural reasons, as the place where person to person relationship grows and also for supernatural reasons since it’s a divine institution planned by God. The compendium emphasizes that the family is founded on the free choice of the spouses to unite themselves. Though the marriage institution is also regulated by the human institution and laws, it’s a partnership established by God and endowed with its own laws. Ibid, no 215. The dignity and the specific characteristics of marriage must also be safeguarded. A peaceful and conducive family is the best setting for learning and applying the culture of forgiveness, peace and reconciliation. Benedict XVI,Post-Synodal Exhortation Africa’s Commitment AfricaeMunus, (trans), Nairobi Paulines publication Africa,2011, no 43. From it there emerge men and women capable of building a social fabric of peace and harmony. The fundamental characteristics of marriage are; totality, where the spouses in marriage gives themselves to each other mutually. Unity which is created by the union of couples, indissolubility, fidelity and fruitfulness. Though one of the important characteristics of marriage is transmission of life by birth and nurturing of children, even for couples without children their communion and unity still remains. In the society the family is the source of life and love, it’s where one is born and grows. Compendium of Catholic Social Teaching, no 212. The climate of affection cultivated in the family unites the family and one learns about truth and goodness. In it one loves to love as n much as they are loved unconditionally, respect others as much as they are respected and here they discover the face of God especially in the way they are treated by the other members. AfricaeMunus , no 42. It’s also regarded as a community of persons where moral values are taught and the spiritual and cultural heritage of society is passed on from one generation to the next. Break down of the family latter results in the breakdown of the social solidarity. The family has a priority over the state and the society. The Church reminds us that, “every social model that intends to serve the good of man must not overlook the centrality of the family.” Compendium of Catholic Social Teaching, no 214. Following the principle of subsidiary, public authority must not take away from the family tasks that it can carry out by itself such as educating the children in moral values. The family is a cradle of love, in the family due to communion and love each person feels loved, recognized, respected and accepted Ibid, no 221. The family has a completely original and irreplaceable role in bringing up children. Ibid,no 239. The parents love is placed at the service of their children and animates all educational activities. The parent’s role to educate their children is both a right and a duty. The parents have a right to even start educational institutions and the state should provide some economic support to these schools. The primary role of parents in education is particularly in religious and moral education and more keenly in sex education. This task of forming young people’s standards in matters of purity is a particular responsibility of parents, Burke, Covenanted Happiness, p. 125. as givers of life they are the best suited to explain about the origin of life. In matters of sex education, they should be linked with instructions in moral norms and human values that their parents also hold.The meaning of sexuality and conjugal love must be explained to them in the context of family life whether their vocation is to marriage or even celibacy. New Catholic Encyclopedia, p.833. The children who are a central object in the family and the sign of its future have a dignity. Children dignity must be respected and protected. It starts by being born in a real family. Then as they grow they are to n be guarded against problems such as child labor, lack of proper healthcare and sexual exploitation. CATECHISM OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH The Catechism of the Catholic Church addresses the theme of the family under the title of the commandments and the fourth commandment specifically that states “obey your father and your mother”. In the order of charity , the honor of parents comes before all else since they have given to their children life and hands over to them knowledge of God. Catechism of the Catholic Church, no 2197. Family is the original cell of social life. In it the husband and wife give themselves to each other in love. In it, from the childhood one learns moral values, begins to honor God and one learns what true freedom and how also to practice it. ibid, no 2207. The authority and stability established in this basic cell of the society extends to the entire society and establishes freedom and fraternity of the entire community. The topic of freedom and responsibility are correlative and cannot be considered apart without risking being subjective and relativistic. Burke,Covenanted Happiness, p. 124. Unstable and morally shaky families beget unstable and relativistic societies. The family is founded upon the free consent of the spouses. The family is formed by a man and a woman united in marriage together with their children. Catechism of the Catholic Church, no 2202. The state has an obligation to recognize it and all other relations are to be modeled after it. God instituted the human family by creating the man and woman. In the family all the members are equal in dignity Ibid, no 2203. Marriage and family aims at three things, i.e. –good of spouses, procreation and education of children. Ibid, no 2201. The good of the spouses is expressed in form of companionship and their sharing in life. This companionship should be open to life and thus it begets procreation. By procreation the spouses lovingly participates in God’s role of making the world better. After begetting the children the parents from then starts the process of educating their children and handing on to them the social, religious and moral values that helps them be human and adopt in the society where they live. Both the love of spouses and begetting of children create personal relationship and primordial relationship among the family members. All the members in the family have a role to play. The parents are to educate their children in faith and in the life of virtues. They are also obliged to provide for the need s of their children both spiritual and physical. Catechism of the Catholic Church, no 2252. The children consequently owe their parents gratitude, just obedience and filial respect. The family is a domestic Church. Ibid,no 2204. In it one realizes the image of the Church. It’s held together by hope, faith and charity, the values which it also passes on and helps each member to grow in. in it the life of prayer and word of God is shared and it strengthens it. In it the image of the holy trinity is shown more openly , where by procreation and educating the children the creating role of God the father is made manifest in the daily life of the community. Ibid, no 2205. It’s in the family that all kinds of people are cared. ibid, no 2208. In it the young should feel secure as they grow in freedom and responsibility, they should be ready to express themselves so as to be formed appropriately by the older generation. Where the young people are not allowed space to be themselves they end up retrogressing and being more closed up to themselves. The old and the sick should feel accepted and valued not based on what they can contribute materially but due to the bond of love and kinship that unites them all. In the African context, the elders desire to be surrounded by their offspring as a sign of their old age joy. The parents are obliged by right and duty to introduce their children to matters of faith as early in age as possible. The instruction given in the family precedes, accompanies the instructions given by other institutions. ibid, no 2206. The parents further have right to choose the best schools for them. Due to its pivotal role in the stability of the society, the family should be respected and protected by all the other institutions. Even where some families cannot full meet their responsibilities, the other social bodies are obliged to support them. ibid, no 2209. The civil authority is respect the centrality of marriage by acknowledging its true nature, protecting and fostering it and promoting its prosperity. MAGESTERIUM TEACHING – FAMILIARIS CONSORTIO The Encyclical was entirely meant for the family.it basically underlines the fact that the family and marriage constitutes one of the most precious of the human values. John Paul II,Encyclical The Family in the Modern World ‘FamiliarisConsortio’ , Nairobi,Paulines Publications Africa (trans), 1982, no 1 The parental responsibility of educating their children is rooted in the very vocation of the spouses in marriage to participate in Gods creative activity. The person whom they give life, they go on to help him or her to live fully human life. This right is both original and primary, it’s irreplaceable and inalienable. Familiaris Consortio, no 36. It’s primary in the sense that it cannot be rightly delegated to other persons and institutions without being altered or losing its core value. This right cannot be separated from the parents just as the mutual relation between the children and their parents cannot be replaced and separated. This parental love is the source and the animating principle that inspires the wellbeing of the family as such. As an original duty its tied to the very fact that marriage and constituting of marriage has education of the offspring as one of its aims. In educating the parents share in the authority and love of God the father and of Christ as the good shepherd and in the motherly love of the Church. ibid, no 38. The role is seen by the Church as a ministry given to the parents during marriage. In the educating function, the parents just like the Church becomes a mother and a teacher. Parents are to train their children in the essential values of human life. ibid, no 37. The children are to be helped to acquire the correct attitude of freedom especially in material things, to rise above individualism and selfishness, to understand what is justice and to seek to practice it and to hold in high esteem the personal dignity of other people. The parents who want to have children with a sensitive conscience and a strong will must themselves keep up a constant struggle to acquire these qualities themselves. Burke,Covenanted happiness, p. 130. The parents themselves inspires the children to adopt love between the brothers and sisters so much by the witness of the self-giving of the mother and father to each other. The parents are to discern the appropriate information that they should pass on to their children. They are to present all the topics necessary for the maturing in personality from both the Christian and the ecclesial viewpoint. Ibid, no 39. The parents should be aware that they are the first heralds of the Gospel to their children since, when their children observe their daily activity they expect to see the practical meaning of the virtues of the Gospel. When they pray with them, read the word of God and introduce them to the Eucharist and the Christian community, they both beget them not only bodily but also spiritually. The family cannot be limited as the only exclusive community of educating but it’s the primary. The family also cooperates with other agents of education. Familiaris Consortio, no 40. Each of these agents has its part to play; they support the family and help it to accomplish its role and goal more effectively. The school as an agent must be well evaluated and be suited to pass on the values the family as the primary teacher desires for her children. The parents are also to collaborates and have a cordial relation with the teachers and the school authority. The parents have right to choose schools that conform to their faith. The Church and the state as supporters of the family must provide aids that are proportionate to the needs of the family. FAMILY IS THE HOPE OF SOCIETY IN EDUCATING MAN. Family is the foundation on which values are built. The values of truthfulness, happiness and justice are instilled in children’s thought and actions and as they become standards and ideals to govern throughout their lives. These values taught in the family become automatic. It shapes their attitude towards people and society. The process of cultivating virtues in our children begins in our homes by the parents loving one another and also being active in the lives of their children. Being there means making some small sacrifices such as spending an evening listening to your children instead of going out to hang out with friends. Sometimes the parent has to engage the child in a discussion about their daily life issues such as school life so as to know them better. The family is to become a fundamental formator in moral values by its own activity as an institution and also by the help of other external institutions such as the church and the family. To a large extent good and stable families are to be identified with the conscious activity of the parents. At times the family may not be in a position to provide for every need. The other institutions especially the church come in to substitute in this. The church offers instructions on how to bring up children in an integrated way. The values to teach children. The parents are to be helped to understand themselves, identify their weakneses, and realize how their own personality may hinder effective parenting if they are not properly handled. Life is a process of growth and the parents need to be helped to grow. By establishing groups and associations of the young couples we can get an opportunity to guide them. They cannot offer what they do not have, Parents needs frequent sessions of re-catechizing them and reminding them their central role. The programme of instruction can include a reminder on the three Theological virtues and the moral virtues and how they can be practiced in the everyday life. By having common meetings, the parents can also share the challenges they are facing. The sessions become a moment of sharing ideas, of identifying their greatest common challenges and finding a common lasting solution. The church leaders, especially the priests who are the shepherds, have a more wider ability to identify experts who can help the parents know the emerging parenting factors today and help them know how to resolve them. For the families themselves, it’s important for the whole family, parents and children, to come together and have a common activity. The activity is a moment of bonding, gives them an opportunity to interact outside the home environment and also to strengthen their bond. This is important especially for the families that have no time to take a rest together. It’s here that they can open up to each other and share ideas freely. Children also are not passive actors in the family well being. They should attend to groups in the church meant for them depending on their age. Here they receive necessary formation, they come to identify model Christian and biblical characters and they identify with their behavior. When the young people are grouped together it’s easy for them to exchange ideas freely. In these groups, model persons are to be selected to journey with them, persons they can trust with their problems in confidence. The persons should be well instructed in church teaching so that they can respond to their questions about life in a way faithful to the church teaching. When we are receiving the sacraments in the church, we have sponsors who don’t only serve that eventful purpose but also take up the role of helping the parent in the work of upbringing. The children see modern examples in other Christians who are struggling each day to live their faith in the same environment as them. It’s true that a Christian child admires and envies a certain person in the church due to how they carry themselves. These Christians they admire the parents are to allow them act as mentors. When families are united they can be able to propose to the state authorities some policies that cater for their good. Basic things such as education, shelter and healthcare should be offered easily to the family. This ensures the environment is conducive for them to grow and for proper formation of children. The community as the soil in which this seed of family is planted can organize events when some common values and traditions are passed on to the younger generations. To ensure a stable community, there must be some values that are shared by all the members. The best moment to propose them is by having a common activity. Our children are keen to listen but are keener to observe. We teach a child virtue by modeling. Value such as sacrifice, hard work are more observed and imitated. In cases where we cannot fully model the virtuous behaviors required, we can inspire them with examples from the bible. For instance, Abraham the father of faith left his land and security for a promised land that he had never seen before. Daniel showed integrity by rejecting the evil of Nebuchadnezzar rather than reject God. The bible shows people who had weakness but also overcame them, St Peter though strong in faith denied Christ three times but later repented after retrospection. In Africa we have the advantage of structured extended family that has the young and the elders. Though this structure is slowly disappearing, the presence of elders in the family helps in moral and social development of the young person. The young people eradicate negative mental tendencies when they are among elders and struggle to develop and practice human values. Furthermore, the young identify themselves with their parents and other elders; they adopt them as models of emulation. The family is the school of virtues and of all moral values. It’s the first sign of a stable society. Its survival and ability to reach its goal and fulfill its function depends on the initiative of its members and the support of other institutions. A society is judged by the families that constitute it. CONCLUSION. They family must be reminded of its central role and vital role both in forming the future citizens and in nurturing the strong pillars to hold the society firm today. Its the role of family to form well integrated young generation and also a shared responsibility of other institutions such as the Church to help them overcome their challenges and get an environment to carry out this vital responsibility. This noble task of the family cannot be delegated. Even in face of challenges the family cannot afford to have a substitute replacement.