6 ARC giveaway

Yes, you read that right.

But this time it is not me giving them away.

It is the lovely Frankie Diane whose posts would often make me spew water out my nose if I happened to be drinking water whilst reading them.

Ahem.

She is having a CONTEST! For reals! And giving away 6 ARCs! And there will be 3 winners!

So go check it out. And you could maybe say I sent you and she might maybe give me more entrages. (I am claiming that to be a word.)

Happy Friday!

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

Shatter Me, Possession, Liar Society, Supernaturally etc, etc, etc

There are so many cool contests going on right now that you need to check out!

Tahereh Mafi, sweetness personified, is FINALLY giving away ARCs of Shatter Me. So Exciting! Check it out! It's super easy to enter! Contest ends April 24!

THEN Elana Johnson, who's totally frawesome, is giving away swag and a signed ARC of Possession and all kinds of totally amazing stuff if you'll just play TAG, or rather NOT TAG. Um, I'm not explaining that very well. So check out the link or click the button on the sidebar.

Do you like mysteries? Because the iClue contest is made of so much WIN! Lisa and Laura Roecker, Beth Revis, Kimberly Derting, Adele Griffin, Mandy Hubbard, and Lee Nichols have teamed up to provide 6 mysteries YOU get to solve and each one correctly answered gets you an entry to win an iPod touch loaded with all 6 of their books! Click on the button on the sidebar to see more! There's a mystery a week for 6 weeks and we're only on week 2!

Are you as stoked as I am about Kiersten White's (who's like one of my heroes and a fellow Damon eye admirerer) Supernaturally? Do you want to win an ARC, plus an ARC for Jon Skovron's Misfit? Cindy Pon is doing a giveaway! Ends April 22.

And that's all I've got for now!

My thumb pin comes out on Monday for those of you following my progress. Thanks for all the well wishes!

Super Contests!

Attention!

The League of Extraordinary Writers is having a totally awesome contest this week! 5 prizes - one for each day of the week, and a

GRAND

PRIZE

PACKAGE!

So you should go check it out and enter, because these are awesome authors with awesome books coming out next year!

Eek! I'm SCARED!

I NEVER used to do the whole thriller/horror/scary thing. Like at all. But then I got hooked on Ted Dekker and dude, House is CREEPY. And then I started liking thriller movie things and now I'm obsessed (okay, not really, but kind of) with X-Files.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNG prelude to say, if you like thriller or creepy or horror or any of that stuffish, (or even if you don't) then you totally need to check out

It's got some of the most coolest of all times writerly prizes. And I'm telling you because it's totes amazing, but seriously, please do not enter, because I swear I'm going to win that tote bag.

Ahem.

*runs off to finish story*

Contests by the BILLIONS!

Okay, maybe not BILLIONS, but there are a TON of really amazing contests out there, so here's some linkage!

Liz at Cleverly Inked just had a GREAT vacation and she brought back goodies for US! Enter for this great STRAND BOOKSTORE giveaway!

The Undercover Booklover is giving away 5 different ARCs PLUS packs of 5 gum to match each of the books! What a great idea! You've got until the 15th to enter so get yourselves over there NOW!

Anna Staniszewski is getting PUBLISHED! And she's celebrating by giving away funny MG fiction! How sweet is that! It goes until July 23rd, so get yourself over there to enter!

Abby Annis is celebrating 200 FOLLOWERS! (yeah!) with some fantastic books and only the coolest pens EVER! I want them so stay away from her BLOG :) that's going through the 31st :D

Mia Hayson is holding her promised contest with some of the coolest prizes evar! I know the zombies, so I've got it pretty much sewn up, but you can go enter if you really want to. :P You have until July 30th and I can't wait to make my vlog for it! mwa hahahahaha!

Red House Books is having a BLOGOVERSARY CONTEST with OMW the best books you can think of and it's going on until July 31st too. PLUS for every 25 new followers she will add ANOTHER prize (like she just added a preorder of MOCKINGJAY!) Holy cow!

Courtney, the Southern Princess herself, is giving away a To Kill a Mockingbird prize pack and she's just like the sweetest person ever, so you should go over there AND please tell her that I sent you! That one ends July 28th.

Kimberly Franklin is giving away AUTOGRAPHED and PERSONALIZED copies of The Body Finder! Sweet Muffins! It ends August 11th, so scurry over and enter!

And of COURSE my BEA BONANZA is still going on!

You've got until tomorrow night to enter for the GIRL STUFF pack!

Until Monday night to enter for the FANTASY FUN pack!

Until Tuesday night to enter for the TEENAGE ANGST pack!

Until Wednesday night to enter for the MIDDLE GRADE MARVELS pack!

And Until Thursday night to enter for the FANTASY PLUS! pack!

Follow, comment and you've still got a chance to get extra points by blogging or sidebar linkage :D

All right, I think that's all of them for now so scurry away and win yourself some BOOKS!

Zombie Luv Flash Fic Contest: Advantages

All right ... if you are cool like me, then you follow Mia Hayson's blog. And if you are super cool, then you also follow her Zombie blog. Trust me. If you want to survive the zombie apocalypse that is destined to come, then you NEED to be following her. I never thought about zombies much. Then Mia was talking about them only ALL of the time and I thought, this might be important. Then I read the most amazing zombie YA novel (Rot & Ruin by Jonathan Maberry and yes, I have mentioned this book before and I will mention it again. I really liked it. A LOT) and so I've kind of had zombies on the brain.

Well, Mia posted some flash fic that she was doing for a zombie contest. It's being sponsored my Mari's Randomities and Flashes in the Dark.

So I thought I would check it out. I have never written anything even near this genre before. But it seemed like it would be fun and what did I have to lose anyway? (The contest is open until July 10th, so if you want to try your hand at it you have time.)

So here is my first ever ZOMBIE FICTION. I had SO much fun writing this and I think (hope) that comes through. enjoy!

**************NOTE********************

I had to take this down for some reasons, so sorry if you're looking for it :)

I left the pretty pictures up for you! :D

Book Recommend!

It's a LETTER and a CONTEST and a SWEET, SWEET book review

Run, don't walk, over to Tahereh's blog and read and enter (but not too many entries, because I WANT TO WIN. No. Seriously.)

That is all.

Oh, I was REALLY going to do the BEA review today, but my computer needs to be checked out, because I think I got a virus, so I have to take it to my friendly neighborhood guru who will hopefully get it squared away quickly. but till then, I may be computer-less :( tres sad, I know. But you MUST carry on without me!

YA Highway CONTEST

So! I found this amazing incredible superlative YA contest that is full of books and critiques and MORE!

So totally go over to YA Highway and check them out. I just found them, but they look like awesomesauce. And enter their contest because it totally rockssocks!

and I will be back later for the following...

• BEA recap - with some PICTURES OF TOTALLY COOL AUTHORS
• Book review and GIVEAWAY!
• More Lost talk with the Hi-larious commentary Naomi, Emdy and I had while watching the finale
• A special BEA CONTEST! (yup, you heard that right!)

Brain Explosion Imminent

Tahereh aka T.H. Mafi is holding a contest that is designed to completely and totally blow your mind!

That came out REALLY small! Weird. And now the link isn't working. Gah!

Anyways, click here to see all of the awesomesauce!

I am really enjoying my vacation and I will put up pictures later and make you all drool with envy. But for now I'm going to try to catch up on some of the blogfesty posts I am ridiculously far behind on and then maybe, just maybe catch up on some of the straight-up blog reading that I am shamefully and beyond excessively behind on.

Tata!

Xerophilous

hahaha. X is hard.

At first I was going to do X-Files. Because My Dad and I have been watching it. Almost finished with the first season and I am loving it. Young David Duchovny is *ahem* palatable.

(oh rats. I just realized that my Dad reads Retail Wednesdays. Um... Hi Dad! Yeah, nothing going on here, you can just scroll down the page *facepalm*)

Anyways, my Mom doesn't like the show and it scared me silly when I was younger, but I am so loving it now. It is a really interesting series.

Then I was thinking that I could do Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, because I just love me some Xander.

And he's TOTALLY like a younger Chandler. Really and truly. It makes me grin pretty much a lot.

But then I realized that it's Wednesday! And I can't skip Retail Wednesday! (especially because I think Jenn and Lindsey would probably hunt me down and chain me to my computer until I had done another post)

Do you realize how impossible it is to come up with a good "X" title for a Retail Wednesday post? Like totally impossible!

Xerophilous means "Flourishing in or adapted to a dry hot environment"

Which is the best thing I could come up with. Because our AC units have been on the fritz for about a year now and we all suck down copious amounts of water and wave books at ourselves to cope. But I think we're managing to flourish. Or at least adapt.

Lame. I know.

But let's get onto the (there it is! that's the word! Onto. Should it be on to? or onto?! If you have no idea what on earth I am babbling about click over to Falen's post about into.)

Anyhoo ... let's get onto the Awards!

Strangest Topic Award:

A woman came in looking for our section on alpacas.

I just thought it was kind of a weird thing to be looking for.

Funnier was my coworkers response after the woman had left...

"Why yes. It's right over here between our sections on llamas and mountain goats!"

Time Waster Award:

It would be nice if customers would display these prominently just so I can prepare myself.

A customer calls and asks for a book. I look it up, find it and bring it back to the info desk where I pick up the phone.

Me: Yes, we do have a copy. Would you like me to hold it for you?

Customer: Is it your only copy?

Me: Yes it is. What's your last name? I can put it at the register for you.

Customer: No thanks. I'm not sure I'll be able to get there today.

Me: Well, we can hold it until tomorrow for you, if you want.

Customer: That's all right. I don't want to waste your time. I'll just find it when I come in.

Me: (after the customer has hung up) But you ARE wasting my time! I already have the book here! When you come in, you aren't going to be able to find it and you are going to make one of us look until we find it! And if someone else buys it or moves it, then you are going to get cranky and say, "Well, they said it was here yesterday." AGGHHH!!!!

Phone Freak Award:

J answers the phone.

Woman: Hi, I was wondering if you have the AP Psych review book?

J: (looks for it) Yes, we do.

Woman: Do you have the one with the CD?

J: Yes. We have one with the CD and a few of the one without the CD. Do you want me to hold it for you?

Woman: No. I don't know which one my daughter wants. I'll call you back later.

Can I have one of these signs? Please? Can I post it all over my store?

Private Amusement Award:

A customer came up to the desk and said:

Excuse me, do you have architecture?

Fortunately one of my coworkers answered him and showed him to the section, because I was laughing in my head and thinking:

Why yes, we have architecture! Otherwise you'd be outside right now.

My brain is weird.

See, this is a bookstore without architecture.

BWA HAHA Award:

Three teenage boys come into the store. I am guessing they're between 15 and 17.

They look like typical teenage boys.

Just. Like. This. Maybe.

As they walk past the info desk one of them exclaims (yes, exclaims) "Man! I can't wait for that new Twilight book to come out!"

His friend snorts. "Dude, you read Twilight?"

Kid is not embarrassed at all. "Yeah, man! Twilight's awesome!"

Me: *snorting water through my nose from holding in the laugh*

So Disgusting I Think I Might Barf, but It Was Too Bizarre Not To Share Award:

(which gets its own prize for being the longest Award Title Ever.)

A man came up to the desk and told a seller that we might want to check on the men's bathroom.

Never. A. Good. Thing.

So I snagged the only male employee in the building and made him do recon to make sure no creepy men were lurking in the bathroom. They weren't, but they left behind creepiness.

I see a mound of stuff (mainly white) in the one toilet. Like all the way to the top. And I'm thinking, jerkfaces.

So I get gloves and a trashbag, because there's really only one way to deal with this and that is to pull the paper towels and such out. They are never ever going to flush.

Why am I still a supervisor, you ask? It's cause I get to do fun stuff like this! NOT!

Ahem.

So I drag the trashcan over and realize it is not just paper. No. They left us a much better present.

(do you know how awkward it is when you realize you have to search pictures for "underwear"?! Do you know how relieved I was when this came up on the first page?! Do you know how messed up it is that they actually make an underwear rug?!)

Yup.

Um, ew! and Gross! and... WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING NOW IF THESE ARE IN OUR TOILET!

Words have totally escaped me.

Fortunately, M is a gentleman and offers to do it for me. I guard the door and try not to think about... Anything.

Please just kill me now.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Thanks for stopping by *waves excitedly*.

Don't forget, you still have a couple of days to enter Naomi's creepy cute owl and pillow giveaway! And while you're there (even if you don't enter) become a follower, because she rocks and she had a bad day, so she could probably use some cheering up.

AND

When we each hit 108 followers (because 108 is THE number and brownie points if you know why) there will be a SUPER SISTER CONTEST! (real name and full details to be revealed at a later date.) It will rock! It may contain the following: book prizes and owl prizes and flash fiction prizes and may include drawings and writing contests and other super amazing things!

WINNERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First off, I am SO sorry for the lateness of this post. I started it this morning, but the video took longer than I anticipated. And then YouTube kept freaking out and not posting it forever! But by then I was totally invested. So I tried posting it directly to Blogger. grr... But it's here! It's time!

Today is the day you have all been anxiously waiting for..... the revealing of my Fifty Fabulous Followers Contest Winners!

But first.

There is another contest you have to check out. Simon C. Larter hit 250 followers! (and it's no wonder. Have you read his Blog? No? Shame on you!) He's having The Most Epic Contest in the History of the Blogosphere, EVAR!*

One of the bonus things you can do to get cool points AND more entries into the drawing is write a poem in either iambic pentameter or anapestic tetrameter.

So here is my anapestic tetrameter masterpiece. Please hold your applause to the end:

If I start feeling bad on the day that's today

Now I know I can just find a mirror and say,

"I'm a follower, see, of Sir Simon's own blog!

So I am not a toad, and I am not a frog!

I am cool! I am hip! I know just what to do!

Because Simon C. Larter is awesomesauce too!"

And then I will quickly go back to my work

To be done and return and then quietly lurk

As I hit the refresher again and again

Waiting there for new content from Simon "Da Man"

Will it be some flash fiction that soon will appear?

Or some sarcastic humor I'm going to hear?

But it really won't matter what shows on my screen.

Be it i-am-bic pen-ta-me-ter on gangrene

Or a tale of a Scotsman imbibing some booze

Cause I know that whatever Sir Simon may choose

I will laugh and I'll snort and my beverage inhale.

That is always what reading his posts dost entail.

So I'm writing this poem, my tongue firmly in cheek

cause in just over one plus a half of a week

Simon's giving away lots of prizes, you see.

And I know that a winner is gonna be... me!
He will give you a squirrel or some vodka, it's true

Or perhaps he will jot down a poem about you!

So go enter his contest and do it post haste

For the clock's ticking down... there is no time to waste.

Okay, yeah, so it's not the greatest thing ever, but it was totes fun to write.

All right. Enough dilly dallying around. Let's get on with it!

One more thing. I have decided I hate doing contest drawings. I Lurve doing contests. I love finding new people and making owls for you all. I hate doing the drawing, because that means there are people who really want to win who won't... ;-;

I wish I was a bazillionaire and could mail you ALL happy little owls. But I guess that would kinda defeat the purpose of the contest, huh? Anyhoo. I'm depressing myself and this is supposed to be a HAPPY post!

(P.S. stay tuned at the end for news about a SUPER SISTER CONTEST!)

My brother, Dave, so kindly helped me with the drawing of the names. The video below shall reveal all!

Congratulations to the winners! Please e-mail me with your mailing information and your happy owls, silly books etc. will find their way to your house :D

(P.S. If you link to my profile, you can get the link to my e-mail address)

(P.P.S. If for some reason the video doesn't work, let me know and I'll post the winners in the comments.)

And thanks to all of you who left me owl poetry. I loved each and every one and I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to repost them here :) (in no particular order) (remember, theres' SUPER SISTER CONTEST NEWS at the end)

Mia:

Oh Grey and Fluffy friend.

You stole my aching heart

I'll be here 'til the end

And then we'll pick some flowers

I'll watch you fly above

And hope you don't attack

My head is full of love

And thinks your name is Dave

Jenn:

Amigarumi Owls…
I must have one!
Amigarumi Owls…
so much fun!

Amigarumi Owls…
made by Miss. Sonshine.
Amiaruimi Owls…
One of them must be mine!

Falen:

I'd like me an owl
to represent as mascot
my great writing group

Lola:

Girl owl of cuteness
likes to look at all the boys
on the other tree

Summer:

Owl, owl, soaring high
In the inky, pitch-black sky
Whose immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

Alyson:

With your big round eyes
and distinctive hoot,
critters say their goodbyes
and begin to scoot.

Dangerous With a Pen/Lindsey:

The coolest owl is
David Bowie in Labyrinth.
I MUST WIN AN OWL.

Readerly Person:

Owls stay out late at night
so they can read when the moon is bright
and laugh at literary fights,
then dream of fire-fly lit lights.

Teebore:

While a robotic
Bubo would be a great owl,
yours would be better.

Brown-Eyed Girl:

Green owl
Purple owl
Grey owl - OW OW! ;)

Shannon O'Donnell:

I could win an owl
my girl would be so happy
she loves them so much

AND NOW THE SUPER SISTER CONTEST NEWS!!!!!!!!!!

So, Naomi and I decided that when we each hit 108 followers (because 108 is THE number and bonus points to anyone who knows WHY), we will hold a massive 2-part contest extravaganza complete with flash fiction, drawings, amigarumi, books, us making fun of writing random stories about you and other as to now unknown awesomesauce prizes!

Aren't you excited?!

So if you are not a follower - cave to peer pressure and do it now! If you don't follow my sister, shame on you! She is awesomesauce (finals have eaten her life for now, but she'll be back in a few days) and you should go follow her now! (she has two blogs, but we decided to say "Writing: A Soul's Way of Breathing" will be the one we'll watch the follower count on.

I'm at like 81 (craziness!) so that's only 19 stalkers to go. Naomi is at 59 followers! So that's only 41 to go! We can do it!

CONTESTS!

Real quick to tell you about 2 sweet contests:

Cleverly Inked's Birthday Phenomenon. You have to see it to believe it. More books than I can stand!

And sarahjayne smythe's 150 followers gift card extravaganza!

Woo hoo!

Retail Ruminations

Ha! I totally missed the fact that this Wednesday fell on "R" day! How perfect!

Lucy Lately Award:

We received a Customer Survey Feedback where the customer complained that we had almost no children's Easter books and she was very disappointed. We were quite stymied by this complaint, since we had had an entire table filled with both Easter and Passover books covering everything from the Easter Bunny to Jesus' Resurrection to Seders.

Then one of my coworkers looked at the date the customer had visited the store. Yeah, we probably didn't have many Easter books a week and a half after the holiday.

Apparently the Easter Bunny was running late at their house.

Caffeine Deficiency Award:

A woman came up to the cafe counter and asked if anybody had turned in a set of keys. There was nothing in the cafe, so the walkied the rest of us, but no one had turned anything in. The woman stood there insisting that she had only been to the cafe, so her keys had to be there. The barista asked us again. We checked around information, but couldn't find anything. The woman kept insisting that they had to have them somewhere.

Then she paused, walked over to the garbage can and looked inside. Yup. There were her keys. She had thrown them away by accident.

Because this is where I always keep my keys so no one else will take them.

Most Annoying Award:

One of my coworkers, J, was helping a customer when a man came up. He asked where the puzzle books were. She asked him to wait a moment while she finished with the other customer. When she was done, J turned to him and said, "You were looking for puzzle books?"

"Puzzle books! Puzzle books!" he bellowed. "What are you, deaf, lady?"

She should have been wearing this shirt.

Books That Frighten Me Award:

I don't know which scares me more: the fact that this book even exists,

or the fact that it's in the bargain section.

Well, that's it for today, kids. Tune in next week for some more retail craziness.

And don't forget to enter my contest! This is the last day for entries so clickety click your way onto the owl picture up top and I will reveal the winners soon. (I'm thinking of roping my brother, Dave, into helping me pick the winners in a ridiculous way, so it might take a couple of days for me to get them up. But have patience dear readers - if I do, it will totally be worth it :)

Polaris, Peoples and Prizes!

POLARIS

My sister and I are on the verge of becoming full-fledged geeks.

At least it feels that way. We have just purchased our tickets for the Polaris Convention in Toronto!

WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

AND we started planning and shopping for our costumes for the cosplay. I love the fact that I know how to sew. I will not reveal Naomi's costume (in case she wants to post about it) but I am thinking I would like to do Delenn from Babylon 5. Something Lost would be cool, too, but I don't feel like rocking the Dharma jumpsuit.

We are both super excited about it. And Nikki Stafford is going to be there, too (which is how we actually found out about it) and it is going to be the bestest sister time!

PEOPLE AND PRIZES!

You all are awesomesauce, just wanted to let you know that :)

I received a couple of awards a while ago and I haven't been hoarding them, just trying to find a place to stick them.

I got this one from Anne @ Piedmont Writer ... aww... thanks :) This one's been sitting around since Easter and I feel terrible for hanging onto it for so long *blushes*

I don't think I'm supposed to do anything but pass it on, so here goes:

Some Superior Scribblers you should check out are

Blabbin Grammy - her posts are a trip down her memory lane - entertaining and full of heart and humor. I discovered her through the A-Z challenge and I'm so glad I did :)

Lindsey at Dangerous With a Pen - She's off the webs for the moment, but I feel like she's a soul sister and her posts are always worth reading

Creepy Query Girl - whose name and post of a fake query letter won me over immediately *blog love*

Then I got this one from Hannah @ Musings of a Palindrome and I would just like to say how extremely embarrassed I am at how long it took me to realize WHY she calls herself Palindrome. *blushes again* AND Hannah is going to be having a Birthday celebration contest, but you have to become a stalker, I mean follower, before May 1st.

And for this one I don't think I have to do anything but pass it on as well.

So some particularly awesomesauce-y people you should check out are

Readerly Person @ Elephants on Trapezes (seriously, don't you LOVE that name!) because her WIP is called the Voldemort Project and she just did a post on why we should have Owl Appreciation Day :)

Mia @ My Literary Jam and Toast - who left a hysterical post on my contest and apologizes for time away with adorable pictures of kittehs.

Simon C. Larter @ Constant Revisions consistently and hilariously entertains me.

I love you all *giant group hug* but I cannot link anymore because it is late and I must rise semi-early. So don't feel left out if I missed you. I still love you :) (in a completely non-creepy-blog-stalkerish way)

And just two more points of interest.

1. My sister, Naomi, is hosting her first contest and she is giving away homemade (yes, HOMEMADE) pillows and stickers and other awesomesauce stuff and you should go check out her blog Writing: A Soul's Way of Breathing because you will enjoy yourself. And that's a money back guarantee I'm offering right there!

2. You still have time to enter my contest! Click on the cute owl pic at the top of the blog to jump right there. You don't even have to do anything by follow and comment (unless you want extra chances and then you can, but you don't HAVE to.)

And that is it for today. Happy "P" day!

Interesting Incompletion, Inspiration, Imagination and Invitations

Interesting Incompletion:

As I have mentioned before, I am currently involved in Script Frenzy. I am really going to try to hit 100 pages, but even if I don't between that and the A-Z Blogging Challenge, I have done more writing in the last 9 days than I did in the last 2 months, at least.

The other day I was desperately trying to pound out a couple of pages before bed when I found myself drifting off as I was writing. So I shut down my computer and went to sleep. The next day, when I started working again I realized that I had been apparently typing in my sleep, because I had left off in the middle of a sentence and the sentence made no sense whatsoever.

I'll post a little bit more about the play and a nice excerpt on Monday (yeah!) but here's a quick brief thing to let you know the basic context of this scene.

The play is a fairy tale, a kind of, sort of Cinderella-esque (but not really) story. But the twist is that the main characters are actually the narrators. There is a traditional narrator and then he is joined by an enthusiastic, unorthodox narrator and they clash and fight and help each other and, ultimately fall in love. I really, really, really love this play. I love the characters and the concept and everything about it so far.

Anyways, so this scene is the introduction of the Evil Stepmother, Harriet and the Evil Stepsisters, Ann & Nan (who act as one, though they are two), and the main fairy tale character, Jane. With lots of input from Jarvis and Gloria, the narrators.

ANN & NAN: Why are you still scrubbing the floor? I'm hungry! No, I was hungry first.

HARRIET: No fighting, girls. Obviously I was hungry first since I am older than both of you. Jane, fetch me some toast and jelly at once, with the crusts properly removed and exactly one teaspoon of jelly on each toast square.

JARVIS: In case you couldn't tell, the Evil Stepfamily was the jealous type and they forced poor Jane to slave away at their every whim out of pure spite.

GLORIA: This is just terrible. Someone should call the police or something.

JARVIS: It is a story! It is not real, we are... I am trying to tell a lovely piece of fiction.

GLORIA: So, you admit that it isn't real! This is all a giant setup to let little children know that these kinds of things, including happily ever afters, only happen in stories or on stage!

JARVIS: It is not saying that. Besides, they came in here looking for a story. They knew that is what they were getting into. Certainly there are no fairies that come and put spells on your hair. What is wrong with wanting to escape into a story for an hour or so? Have you not ever wished to escape from your life?

GLORIA: Well, duh! Why do you think I became a narrator?

JARVIS: Then you are doing a truly terrible job. I sincerely feel bad for all of the people you have narrated for. It is a wonder anything ever happens in any of your stories. I still have not gotten past the exposition, the opening or the introduction and you are still muddling things up. Normally we would be well into the first act by now.

GLORIA: In a snooze fest no one really cared about.

JARVIS: I cannot believe you just said that.

HARRIET: It's obvious that the two of you have some sever problems. I have the name of a wonderful therapist and we can talk about that later, but right now you two bickering is getting in the way of my wonderful, new and improved

(c) 2010 Rebecca Thompson

All Rights Reserved

And that's how it ended. When I pulled it up I was trying to figure out what on earth I was trying to say. New and improved? New and improved what? Personality? Try as I could, I simply had no idea what that sentence was going to be. So I changed it. But now it falls flat and I can't find the right words.

Has that ever happened to you? Ever get distracted or called away from your WIP and return to find that your train of thought has vanished and you have no clue what was happening in that sentence?

Inspiration:

In other news, today a group of ladies from our church were able to go to a women's conference sponsored by another local church. The keynote speaker was Patsy Clairmont and I was so happy, I can't even tell you. She is a riot. I laughed and then cried and then laughed again. She is a spitfire and real and so, so what I needed to end this stressful week on.

A quote that I brought away from it... "God is not the Great Magician, but the Great Physician. Healing takes time."

How true is that. So often we just want God to make everything better right now, but that's not always what is BEST for us. It's a good thing He knows what is best. Now we just have to work at trusting him about it.

Imagination:

Two short stories.

1. Yesterday I was frantically trying to finish the owl triplets for my Fifty Fabulous Followers contest and I suddenly found that I was missing the grey owl's wing. It just wasn't there. I looked around frantically and then said, "I'm missing a wing!" Dad's witty response? "How about a prayer?"

hahaha

2. We are in the middle of a little bit of a remodel project and my Dad had the door propped open with that slidey bar on the screen door.
Mom looked at it and said, "Why is the bar bent?"

Dad's answer. "Well, there was this aardvark that came around and he kept sticking his tongue out, mocking me, so I hit him with the door until he went away."

Mom's respons. "So it's your fault."

Dad. "No, the Aardvark wouldn't quit sticking out his tongue."

I love my parents :D

Invitations:

Enter some super cool contests I've learned about!

Wagging Tales passed 100 followers now and she's holding a choose your own prize contest! Holy cow!

Susan Fields also passed 100 followers and is having a gift card contest! Woohoo!

Lisa and Laura are celebrating 500! (Super major kudos for that one!) with a super contest! Yahoo!

Hip Hip Hooray!

This is now my official "I'm Excited, Let's Part-ay" picture!

I had SO much fun with my last contest I decided that as soon as I hit a mile stone with my followers I would have another one... I meant to do it at 50, but then, here I am - suddenly at 59! and amazed at all the wonderful people I've had a chance to meet.

Maybe it sounds like I'm gushing about this all the time, but you guys have no idea how incredibly blessed I am that you read (and then COMMENT on :D) what I put out there. I know I have been lacking in the reciprocal reading and commenting, but I warned you at "A" that April would be spotty for me. I am here and I do check in whenever I have a chance, I promise!

Anyhoo - that was a long intro to what will be a much more exciting topic... CONTEST PRIZES!

In celebration of all my wondermous (as opposed to WonderMouse) Not-So-Creepy-Stalkers, I am giving away not 1...

Not 2...

But 3! That's right 3! fantabulous gift packages!

If you are one of the lucky winners you will receive...

(drumroll please)

1 of these crazy venticular bookmarks!

Because everyone needs more bookmarks and these move when you turn them back and forth and because [honestly] they were on sale.

1 of these adorable pop up notepads! Sweet Muffins!

I know I am ALWAYS running out of note pad paper and these were just too cute to pass up.

1 copy of this book

Because everyone needs a good laugh every now and again and this book is funny without going crass, which is rare in humor books. And because I love supporting a guy who can only draw stickmen, but managed to get his art published. Oh what we will buy :)

AND.......

1 of these sweet little owl triplets!

Meet the grey owl. He can be a bit sensitive about his pointy head, but his sherbet colored tummy feathers make him happy.

Here's his brother, the brown and purple owl. His beak looks a bit like a duck's bill, but he thinks it gives him character.

The only girl of the batch, the green owl is shy, but very cuddly and would love to be a part of your family.

Don't you just want to take them all home?!

So, here's the deal

1. Be a Not-So-Creepy-Stalker (aka follower) of my blog - you have to show up in the follow list, not just follow via Reader or whatever, because I like to see the people that are stalking me. And this way I can stalk you! (Already a Stalker as of April 9 +2/ New Stalkers after April 9 +1)

2. Leave a comment on this post. Right down below, after I finish with everything here. Aren't you excited! (However if you leave a comment to the effect of "I hate owls and stickmen cause me to have nightmares" I will assume you don't want your name entered :P) (+1)

3. In your comment tell me your preferred order of owls - It won't guarantee that you'll get your favorite color, but if you particularly like one I'd like to try to pair you up with it if you win. If it doesn't matter, let me know that too :)

SO if you are a Stalker and leave a comment you get 2 or 3 entries! Sweet Muffins, wasn't that easy?! (btw these are required to enter the contest. Just to clarify)

But you want more chances to get your hands on one of those owls you say? Never fear, bonus points are here!

4. Bonus points for extra entries go like so:

a. Mention this in a blog post and link it here in the comments somewhere. If you want to leave a comment for your first entry and then linky-dink once you've done your post, go for it. (+1)

b. Post the contest on your sidebar and leave a linky-dink in the comments so I know. (+1)

c. Write me an owl poem and leave it in the comments. A haiku, a limerick, a sonnet, two rhyming lines, whatever. Let your creativity run wild! (+2)

d. For extra special cool points, be a follower of one of my sister's blogs, because she is awesomesauce and I think you'll like what you find over there. She can be seen dancing with a vacuum at Slumpvis Musings or muttering in Akkadian, Greek and Elvish at Writing: A Soul's Way of Breathing. (+2)

Which gives EVERYBODY a chance to get 6 more entries! (go ahead, do a happy dance, I won't tell :)

5. Finally, please add up your points for me in your comment so I don't lose my mind anymore than I already have :)

The contest will end on Thursday, April 22nd at 12pm EST so I have time to pick the winners and post it before I have to go to work that day :D

Have fun!

(And I know I am getting this up late, but today was crazy and I started it while it was still Friday, so it totally counts!)

Another Contest and Another...

Southern Princess reached 100 followers! Enter her magnificent contest!

Karen at Novels During Naptime has 101 followers! Enter her contest too!

Conglomeration

You may have noticed (and if you didn't I won't hold it against you as I only mentioned it once) that I missed Writer's Sunday yesterday.

I actually kept my computer off all day long yesterday and it was so marvelous I have decided to take Sundays as my don't go on the blogs, don't sign on to Facebook, only check my e-mail once day. I feel so refreshed and ready to jump right in to the midst of things again.

So in lieu of that decision I am going to do Writerly Monday instead. So here it is. But today I have a couple of different things that I want to do, hence the title of the post.

First, I have to tell you that you should go over to Summer's blog for her Does This Make Me an Author? Contest Because she finished her draft and, honey, finishing your first draft is definitely something to celebrate!

Besides, I get extra points for posting it and I want that mug. Seriously.

Second, I am going to reveal to you which is the truth amongst the outrageous lies that I told last time. If you didn't have a chance to guess, you can go here and do it now. I'll give the answers at the end of this post so you won't accidentally see the answer before you go guess. So I guess this isn't actually second, but fifth? Or something...

Third, I am SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Falen held a 100 followers writing contest and she was going to have 3 places, but then she added a fourth place and it was a tie and I was ONE OF THE WINNERS!!!!!!!! I can't believe it. She posted the story here and while you're there you can also read Palindrome's short story, which was also full of awesomesauce. And Falen's going to be posting the other winners throughout the week so you should definitely check it out.

Fourth, Thursday is the first of April, and while, for most people this means it is a day to plan your most hilarious pranks, like Joan Crawford (whose blog you must follow and read, because every time she posts you will lose like ten pounds from laughing so much) for me it means the beginning of

I kind of talked about this before, but I'm going to expand on it a tad bit. I am a bit spastic as a writer and some day (probably when April is over) I will post about that. Not only am I not consistent in taking time to write, I am also not consistent in the genre/type of thing that I write.

I am hoping that Script Frenzy will help me with the first one and then after I get into writing regularly I will work on the second one.

When I first signed up I was all ready to do a romantic comedy screenplay. But as I thought about it I realized that I didn't have the idea formulated enough in my head for it to work. Although a lot of the fun of this kind of thing, like NaNo, is to discover as you write your head off, I knew by picking this project I would be setting myself up for failure and probably end up hating this fun idea that is floating in my head. So I will leave it to percolate and maybe do it next year or the year after that or in ten years or something.

So then I decided it would be fun to take one of my favorite children's authors and turn one of his books into a movie and I had bits of it in my head and I've considered this one for about a year, so I thought that would be a good idea. Then I realized I just don't have time to do the prep work required to familiarize myself with screenplays before the beginning of April. It just came down to a time issue. So I think I'm going to save this one for next year.

Which brings me to what I have decided to do. I am going to write a play. I have read a lot of plays and even been to see quite a few, so I feel much better prepared to work on this.

The idea is something I have been working on for, probably ten years now. I wrote a short story entitled, An Unlikely Fairy Tale and for now that is the temporary (oh so temporary) title I am using for the play. Until I can come up with something better.

Anyways. It's kind of a twist on the Cinderella story, blah, blah, blah. The short story is SO boring I don't know why I ever stuck with it, but I am glad I did. A while ago I thought it might work better as a play, than as a story. So I started playing with it a little bit. Over the course of doodling around with the story some very bizarre and hilarious things started happening, the most important of which was that the story became secondary to the narrators and suddenly they were taking over the main roles. and I love it.

So I am very excited to begin working on that and completely start it over with this new plot in sight.

Have you ever been working on something and had a secondary or completely new character hijack the entire story? Do you find that fun? Or exasperating?

And fifthly and finally, here are the answers to my six lies and a truth:

1. When I was in England I got a sinus infection and ended up in the emergency room. LIE! I was actually in France at the time, on a concert tour with the chorale from my college. It was amazing, but I wasn't feeling well. Then we visited the castle in Pau and the cleaner they had used on the floors got to me and my stomach practically turned inside out and the pastor that was travelling with us and Miss Carol Ann, our trip mother, took me to the emergency room where they took x-rays and stuff and discovered I had a LARYNX infection! Who gets a larynx infection?! Anyway, they gave me anti-biotics and I felt better after a day, but I couldn't sing. I was on a concert tour and I couldn't sing! How wrong is that?!
2. I have had the opportunity to perform in both Carnegie Hall and the Lincoln Center. LIE! I HAVE had the chance to sing in Carnegie Hall 3 times with my college chorale as part of a larger choir. It was so amazing!
3. I started reading when I was 4 years old. LIE! I was precocious and began reading at the tender age of 3. Crazy I know, but that's what my Mom tells me and she's usually reliable.
4. In our drama class' spring performance my senior year I played a monkey. TRUTH! And to make this even better, I wasn't a senior in high school, but a senior in college! We did a set of one act plays by David Ives out of a collection called It's All in the Timing. I got to play a whacked out business woman in one and then in another, I played one of three monkeys trapped in an experiment to see if they could type out Shakespeare's Hamlet. The play is chock full of literary and philosophical puns and it was a blast. For more info and pictures to satisfy Joan and Jenn see below.
5. I am allergic to coconut. LIE! I am not allergic to it, but I cannot STAND it. Disgusting.
6. One of my favorite authors is Jane Austen. LIE! I do not like Jane Austen's books. Shocking I know. I forced my way through one in college, because I didn't want to be one of those people that claims not to like something when they have never tried it. I have also tried to read Pride and Prejudice like five times. I cannot get into it. I like most of the movies that have been made of her books, I just don't like the books. And I don't like Mr. Darcy. (please do not stone me for such great heresy)
7. Sometimes coffee is the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning. LIE! Coffee=blech! I also do not really like tea, except for the occasional cup of herbal tea. VERY occasional. I just don't like hot drinks. I am almost always warm and so I just get the heebies at drinking something warm. Give me an ice water, or, if I'm desperate for a caffeine kick, a nice frosty Dr. Pepper. mmmmm...

For those of you who wish to torture yourself after this excessively long and rambling post, you may peruse some pics and descriptions of the play below.

As I said before, it's about 3 monkeys in an experiment to see how long it will take one of them to type out Shakespeare's Hamlet.

My name was Swift, my sister (not AchingHope, but Rae, who attended the same school I did) was Milton and another classmate was Kafka. With our director we worked up these ridiculous characteristics too. Mine was British and rather violent. Milton talked in almost a Mickey Mouse voice that had us constantly trying not to crack up and a no-nonsense outlook. Kafka had this breathy Marilyn Monroe voice and kind of a ditzy attitude.

At one point in the play, Swift gets angry that they're working for peanuts (literally) and I was supposed to knock this bowl of peanuts over. During one of the performances I got so into the part that I smacked the bowl clear off the stage and peanuts scattered everywhere. And I do mean EVERYWHERE! I had a good friend near the front row and I scared her half to death when it happened, because she almost got hit with the bowl! Ha! Good times.

Ooff... I went looking for pictures and they are TERRIBLE quality and I also don't want to share my costars pics without their permission, so that limits it a little bit. But I will put one or two up anyway, because I said I would.

Gah! What happened. I added the pics and the text went CRAZY! Weird.

Here I am as the crazy, laid back business woman.

Here's a view of the whole stage during "Words, Words, Words". Like I said crummy quality. If anyone could identify my costars from this pic they are brilliant.

Here Swift is hard at work, coming up with the brilliant plan to kill our scientist with a poisoned rapier.

And here I am taking a bow. That is REALLY an unattractive shot. We loved the beanies and giant bow ties though :)

Now that is quite enough embarrassment for one post! See you all for Retail Wednesday!