Mini Vacation

Can't wait to scrap these photos of summer before last of kids and I on the beach 

Family Independence Initiative Scraps

So I applied for a social club grant through my community group FII and this is our first scrap booking class hopefully it helps me get back into the swing of things

Oh Lordy Look Who's 20!!!!

These pictures from my last birthday I had plans to celebrate so BIG but ended up being really lo key

Afraid of the Dark

As a child were you ever afraid of the dark? All the time I have known myself I required a pitch black room with no lights until recently I have been afraid of the dark.  Well I haven't actually been sleeping well at all in months.  I don't know what this is but I can't shake it.  I would whisper to myself as I am trying to get to sleep "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.  Sometimes we are afraid, sometimes this “spirit of fear” overcomes us, and to overcome it we need to trust in and love God completely. I have been feeling because I have backslide that I am not worthy of My Father/God to do anything for me in my life. And I beat myself up constantly over this.  

Over the last few months a relationship I had strained with my mom has come full circle again. Another parent that I felt I disappointed and didn't deserve there love and support but they always are here for me. 

Our family had a really unexpected death of my sisters father (stepfather) who was loved by us all.  On top of everything else this caused another shift in my emotions. Now I know I am not the only one that is afraid of the dark right now.   I realized that I just felt really numb.  We are just trying to stay strong and support each other because that's all we have.

Expect the Unexpected

Since August of 2014 my life has been really crazy.  My mind set about love, and where I am in feelings has changed so drastically that I had to sit beside myself and ask the crazy question you never want to ask. Where do you see yourself in life next year? Sometimes you don't even want to think about where do you see yourself next week, never mind next year or five years down the line.  OK well I really didn't say where do I see myself in the next year, I just had an epiphany or a wake up call, that I didn't want to be here like this anymore.  And I am not ashamed to say that in September 2014 I sought therapy for advice to figure out my crazy.  Its worth a shot if you can't seem to figure it out for yourself. For I thought I had to really be insane or is something really not right with this picture.  To open up is a very hard thing for most people because we feel shame and embarrassment.  You can do it at your own pace and it brings out some pain but its starting to feel peaceful.   But I feel that GOD placed certain people (from work)in my path at this time to let me see that what I actually was going through other people have had these feelings and I was not the only one.  I really didn't have to say much because they spoke on it first and I was shocked that they'd hit the nail on the head.   I had always had my two best friends/big sisters

were by my side the whole time giving me much support that I could never repay them for how much I talked their ears off before I answered the question "what you gonna do about it?"  Right now I am just really nervous about what the rest of the week is going to bring. I wish that I could scrap but still my emotions are everywhere and I have not been able to scrap like I would like. I miss it though.

Kash

 

My sister had her fourth child,good luck to her! I thought this picture of him peeking was so cute.

I have been wanting to use these papers for so long. And I am really funny about using certain papers to give away to people too.

Traditions

This layout was a WIP for so long and I hope its what I wanted it to be because I could never seem to figure out what it was that I thought was missing from it.

I wanted to put a spin on the title and used celebrate and traditions.  Celebrate Traditions.

 It feels really good to have a tradition in your family.  I have been trying to create a few for mine that hopefully will always remain in our hearts as the best times together.