God on a Shelf

The past six weeks have been a whirlwind. I moved. Unpacked boxes. Started a new job. Met a lot of new people. Unpacked more boxes. Got the flu. Began learning new systems at work. Sat by a fire. Went to a really cool outdoor movie. Unpacked more boxes. Bought cheap household items at Ikea. Traveled to Atlanta for a conference. Stayed up late to watch The Walking Dead marathon. And, this week, I will continue to unpack even more boxes.

I have to wonder: will the boxes ever get emptied?

Throughout all of this, I've been moving really fast: physically and mentally. I compartmentalize the things in my mind. It has been a sort of defense mechanism, this go-go-go mentality, to help with the tremendous amount of change I have endured the past month and a half. For me, this was necessary.

However, I realized that this self-protection type of mentality has kept me from reflecting on all the changes in my life. I haven't really absorbed or savored them. This tunnel vision has kept me from connecting with God, too. I put Him on a shelf and I miss Him.

The great thing is knowing that He is there for me, waiting on me to come around. I am not alone and, because I believe that Jesus is my savior, I will never be alone again. There will always be someone to confide in. Someone to love me. When I begin to drift, He will inspire me and motivate me to embrace all of the blessings in my life.

Prayer: I'm sorry, God, for putting You on a shelf. I forgot that You are my Rock. I lost sight of you and I am aching to be with You again. To feel close to You. To be centered in You. Help me stay centered in Christ and continue discovering who I am in You.

Reaching Out and Reaching Up

This is a really amazing song.

Waiting with Patience

I trust in God and I have been working on centering myself in Him. Not in the things I want or pursue. But in Him. I've come to realize that discernment isn't easy for me. I want to figure things out and know what God's plans are for me - usually on my time, not His. I read something by Joyce Meyer about God's timing and I found this statement to be both simple and enlightening:

"We prove that we trust God when we refuse to worry."

Waiting with Patience and Trusting in God

I've never read anything by Joyce Meyer before and her message really made me think. I have spent the last 36 years figuring out who I am. Myself as a woman, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a professional, a friend, a leader, an achiever and a believer. Now, it's time I start learning who I am in Christ. Maybe this is what God wants me to figure out while I am waiting on His timing.

If I weren't waiting and relaxing and trying to be patient I wouldn't have quiet in my life. The kind of quiet that is needed to reflect on these types of awakenings. It's actually pretty freeing to realize that you don't have to figure things out. You just have to be patient and trust in God completely.

Prayer: God, help me stay centered in You. I trust in You and I will wait as long as You want me to for Your plans to be revealed. Give me strength when I become weak and peace during times of uncertainty. Amen.  

God, Be My Energy

Physically, I'm exhausted.  I have been feeling this way for quite a few days now.  I am awakening both mentally and emotionally, though.  This is good.  I just need my body to catch up.  This morning, as I got into my car and headed to work, a quick prayer passed through my lips: 

God, give me energy.  Actually, I mean please BE my energy. 

You see, I realized that I need Him to help me.  I can't do everything on my own.  Yes, I take two vitamin packets per day along with antioxidant supplements but they aren't enough.  I need His life force to be the energy that I am lacking.  I will wait for the strength He has planned for me.  Isn't it comforting knowing that we aren't alone?  That God has our backs?

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not grow faint.
Isaiah 40:31

 

 

Full of Life



 

Vertigo

I have another opportunity to make a change in my life.  It has been almost five months since I began this process.  At times I have been frustrated and impatient.  I keep reminding myself that God has a plan for me and things haven't moved forward because the the time is not right.  To be honest, this has not been easy to accept.  There are moments when I am so discouraged, I feel like I am falling.  I really am grateful for scripture.

I was pushed back and about to fall, but the Lord helped me. 

The Lord is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation.

Psalm 118:13-14 

Good things emerge from our darkest moments. We just need to be patient and hope in the Lord.

Prayer:  God, I hope in you and I trust that you will open doors for me.  When I get discouraged, shower me with Your love and give me strength.  Thank you for being there when I feel like I am falling.  You are my safety net.  Amen.

I Needed to Read This Today

Sometimes, you just can't put how you are feeling into words. Overwhelmed? Crunchy? Feeling the effects of the impending full moon? Lamentations 3: 22-23:

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Prayer: Lord, give me the wisdom to follow the path that you choose for me. During life transitions, help me focus on you and remember that your love will protect me from being consumed by negativity. I will wait as long as you want me to for the next journey you have planned for me. Thank you for new days. Amen.

Little Girl Hurt

I work with children and one of my kids has been very ill. We just found out that she is going to have a very intrusive surgery in the next couple of days. Her entire life will be changed forever. I feel so helpless while her family is dealing with this hundreds of miles away from their home. How do you provide comfort in times like these?

I just keep praying that God guides the doctor's hands so that her surgery goes well. I pray that when she wakes up and realizes her life will be different forever, she will not lose strength. I pray for her mother and father who are in shock about the devastating turn their daughter has taken. I pray that God helps all of us realize he has a plan for this little girl - even if we don't know what it is.

If anyone out there reads this post, please pray for this little girl. She's beautiful, strong and full of life. Please pray that she stays this way.

Thank you.

A Difficult Conversation

Tomorrow, I need to have a difficult conversation with someone and I am nervous.  I hate feeling anxious and I really do not want my stomach to be in knots for the next 14 hours.  So, I am attempting to process through this feeling and figure out how I can be okay with what will occur tomorrow.

Will it help if I expect the worst?  If I imagine crying, defensiveness, feelings of being attacked and worry about one's security then I won't be surprised if these emotions actually surface.  This might be a negative way of thinking but it does put things into perspective for me.  What if I was on the other side of the conversation?  How would I want to be spoken to?  I visualize this scenario because it helps me be as empathetic as I can be.  Finding the balance between assertiveness and compassion is not easy but I know it is possible for it is a leadership quality that I truly admire.  God, please help me embrace this quality tomorrow.

I feel like I need to keep my focus on why I will be confronting this person.  I must engage in this conversation - I have no choice.  If I don't provide those around me with honest feedback, how are they ever going to recognize both positive and negative behaviors?  Tomorrow will be a time for me to be authentic and to voice my genuine concerns, as difficult as this may be.  It isn't about me.  It is about doing what is right.  Doing what is right is not always the easy thing to do.

I'm reading the bible for the first time in probably a decade as I embark upon my new spiritual journey.  I can't remember where, but I read a passage about not worrying.  It doesn't accomplish anything.  It won't help, it won't make things easier, it won't change the outcome.  Deep breaths.  Prayer.  Believing that I am doing the right thing.  This is what has already relieved some of my anxiety.  Thank you to God and the blogosphere for being available for me to vent, reflect and process through my feelings.

Jaime's prayer:  Dear, God - please help me find the words that will cultivate change.  Relieve my anxiety so that I can be fully present, listen attentively and observe body language as well as emotions that are not given a voice.  Give me strength while I provide feedback so that it is beneficial to the person I will be speaking with.  Help me stay focused on the big picture.  Thank you for giving me the ability to recognize when things aren't right, even if I do not have the answers.  I truly appreciate Your presence, which is with me always.  Amen.