Remembering!

                                  

                               Memories flood my days now. 

Sure, I make a few new memories as I go about each day but it is those thoughts of long ago that dance around in my head. 

I see pictures - images of my small children at play, my husband's huge grin, him bringing a single violet to me in his big hand. I see us dancing with joy at each child's achievement. And, our hearts breaking over wrong choices they made.

I now dwell on the good times. They fill my soul to overflowing. 

I wonder if those thoughts will fade as I go into the 'twilight zone' of life. 

               For now, though, they bring such comfort and joy. 

Don't Be Bored!

                                                I get bored!! 

                                       Trying to stay safe, keeps me inside a lot. 

                         So, I dragged my paints out and worked on a new project. 

                                  I used watercolors and colored pens on this one.  

I should go to town. It's too HOT!

I can talk myself out of so many things to do. 

Guess that's my choice these days.

I do what I want, when I want and I don't care!! 

Masks or not, that is the question.

 I arose this morning knowing that it was going to be a good day. 

Why, you ask. 

Well, I finally have most of that organizing and throwing out done. I've set up a housekeeping schedule and am happy about that. 

Oh, I didn't tell you. Because of my age I had been having trouble pushing the vacumn around, mopping and leaning over in the bathtub to clean it. So, I had a cleaning lady come in. She's been coming ever since I moved in to the Commons 7 years ago. 

Well, the other day she let it slip that she had not had the Covid vaccine. I should have asked. It's my fault I didn't. And, if things had been going on the downhill slide like they had been doing, I wouldn't have thought twice about letting her continue to come clean. 

Now, she's been coming this whole year and how ever many months since Covid hit... no mask, giving me a hug, sitting and chatting. After 7 years you just sort of form a friendship. 

But, things are getting worse again. Yes, I've had my vaccination. But, I still am extremely cautious so it threw me for a loop to find out that she had been in my apartment numerous times. No one else has been except my family in all that time. 

So, I am going to have to put her on hold until this pandemic is more manageable. 

I have a Roomba so it can do my vacumning now. I am no longer using my tub/shower but rather my 'handicap' walk in shower and that's easier to clean. So, I'm gonna be fine. 

And, now.... on to something else. 

Just a little something from my past.

In 2000 my sweet hubby and I had been married for 50 years.

He gave me a beautiful diamond anniversary ring.

I was so surprised and happy. 

I miss that man!

 

Being Thankful

              I am feeling very thankful this beautiful Sunday morning. 

How About You?

Brenda Gannt....I am not!

 I follow cooking with brenda gantt. I saw her making biscuits just like my Mama used to make. You know, where you make a well/hole in your flour, put in your shortening and milk and just form your biscuits with your hands. 

I got this brilliant idea that I would get me some self-rising flour, Crisco and buttermilk and make me some. Oh, in my mind, they were going to be fabulous!! I could just taste them. 

I followed the way Brenda did things. And, I had the biggest mess you ever saw. I had at least one biscuit of dough stuck to my hands, there was flour everywhere. But, I proceeded. I was confident!! These were going to be the best biscuits. I mean, how can you go wrong with Self-rising flour and buttermilk! Right!

I cut them out, put them on a pan. Stuck them in the oven. I could just imagine them rising up and getting golden brown. The timer went off and I opened the oven door

And, these are the biscuits that looked back at me. Flat as a flitter. Nothing like I had thought I'd have. 

Let's just say that I am not Brenda Gantt (evidently) 

Oh, and by the way, I am retiring as a biscuit maker. Just thought I'd let you all know in case any of you were expecting some.

Great-grands and milkshakes.

 I had guests yesterday. 

                        That was sweet.

                                              Great-grandsons. 

They brought milkshakes for everyone. Strawberry for me. I'd had a tooth pulled Thursday so I couldn't use a straw yet so I just spooned it. 

These boys are getting so BIG... 

Vann is the oldest. He will be having his 11th birthday in a few days.

Look at how tall he is. 

Of course, I have loss some height in my old age! 

I am just 5' 5" now. 

Such a nice visit. Hope they'll come back again soon

Oh, and don't forget the milkshakes. (hehe) 

Out It Goes

 Man, have I been busy and will continue to be until I get everything sorted out, downsized, thrown out...you name it, I am on it.

I had been working on downsizing my photographs. Have thrown away a ton of them that were out of focus, people my children wouldn't know who the heck they were, stupid stuff like tree stumps, interesting rocks. 

I went from 3 1/2 boxes down to 2 boxes. Progress!

Then I went through my closets. I seldom wear a dress anymore. So I pulled several out to donate to someone who can enjoy them. That felt good.

Last night I went through my recipe box. I keep my recipes on large file cards in a little file card box. 

I only kept out the ones that I knew I was capable and willing to prepare at this age. The rest went into a keepsake box I have set aside for my children. 

I am sure I will find something else before this URGE leaves me. It's so liberating to not be surrounded by things I can not use, wear, look at. You oughta try it. 

Where There's a Will, There's a Way

                               Hi, just checking in with you this morning!!

If you follow me, you know that I love watching birds. And, even though I knew it was against my lease.... I did it anyway. Put up a bird feeder, that is. Other residents had some out so I thought if the powers that be hadn't complained then I would be ok.

Then, the notice came... to all the residents. Take down the bird feeders! The mess is falling on the balconies below. DURN... 

We would be allowed to have a feeder if it was where the falling seeds and poop would be contained on like a mat or rug. So, I put mine on a small table in the middle of the rug I had out there. 

   I was just figuring... those birds are not going to feed that close to my door. 

But, you know what. They would come, look around, see no feeder in it's usual place and they'd look some more and they would soon be feeding away from the suet block. Happy, happy day. 

This morning I saw a juvenile Brown Thrasher having his breakfast. Just so cute with his feathers all fluffy, not quite slick like an adult. He knew where the food was!

I guess where there is a will, there's a way. I was so upset when I got the notice. But, I figured it out. 

How Simone Biles helped me!

 My last post was a fun one.

This one is dead serious but I hope you will read it and glean some bits of insight from it.

I have a world of respect for Simone Biles for the choice she made to step aside from something she has worked for, for years... in order to save herself. 

Too little has been said over the years about mental health. In the past it was considered a taboo subject, heavens forbid that people think you weren't 'right' in the head, that you couldn't 'control' your brain. The brain has always been a mystery and so was not considered an organ to be treated the same as you would treat your heart, your liver. etc. 

I think Simone put the spotlight on something people need to not be afraid of discussing and healing. 

I know for me it has made a huge impact on me, Simone's decision I mean. 

At the same time as she was stepping down from her dreams, I was going through a huge stack of journals. I've been journaling for a large part of my life so that stack is pretty tall. 

My objective: There are things that I put on paper that, as I am more aware of my mortality, just don't need to be seen by others. I don't want my children and others to be offended and hurt by something I wrote in a fit of deep despair and anguish. 

The choice - destroy all those journal, which, by the way, have a lot of happy, wonderful thoughts, feelings, accounting of events that have made up my life. Or do I leave them for my descendants to mull over and maybe get a glimpse of who I was. 

                      That negated marking through some of the deepest, darkest entries.

The worst journal that I have gone through so far was 2012, a year after I lost my husband. I was at my lowest point. I'd lost the love of my life after 60 years of marriage. I had no idea who I was, what I was suppose to be doing, how to go on. 

Later, however, I did meet someone else who meant the world to me and I lost him in 2017. Again, 2018 was one hell of a year. 

Because of Simone, I saw finally how desperately I needed help back then because of my mental health. I put my children through a lot. They suggested I 'see someone' but I know now that I couldn't see that I should 'see someone'. Often we need a soft, loving push to get that help. 

It's been a real revelation to me, to finally know and recognize how desperate I was back then for help. Mental health needs to be recognized, treated and the one suffering needs all the support and love they can get, not judgment or denial. 

Okay, I've had my say. Be on the lookout for those around you who might be struggling. 

                                               You could be an angel in disguise.