2018-Dare-to-Dream-Book

SELF MASTERY SERIES WITH
ROBYN HENDERSON
Networking to Win
PO Box 600 Tweed Heads NSW 2487 Australia
Ph: 0407 906 501
www.networkingtowin.com.au
Email: [email protected]
DEDICATION
To all the women in the world who at times experience low self
esteem and feel like doormats, allowing other people to
walk all over them.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
To all those wonderful people and friends who saw my potential
long before I did.
All editions © ROBYN HENDERSON

© REVISED EDITION “Dare to Dream” - for busy women 2010
© REVISED EDITION “Dare to Dream” - for busy women 2002
© REVISED EDITION “Believe in Your Dreams” 2002
© THIRD EDITION “Are You the VIP in Your Life?” 2002
© ORIGINAL EDITION “Are You the VIP in Your Life?” 1995
Published by NETWORKING TO WIN
www.networkingtowin.com.au
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a

retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording or otherwise without the prior permission in writing of
the publisher.
This book has been edited, designed, typeset and

electronically composed in Australia.
Cover design and diagrams-illustrations by Unicorn Graphics NSW Australia
Dare to Dream - Page 2

Do you regularly feel?
1. that you are riding on an out of control merry-go-
round and you can’t find the stop button?
2. guilty when you say no?
3. overwhelmed when you have to make a decision?
4. as if you are in total overload and seriously need

an extra 4 hours in the day?
5. as if you are an imposter and one day everyone

will find out that you really aren’t “good enough”,
“smart enough” - basically just not “enough” ?
If you could just be .......................................
If you answered YES to any of

these questions, please keep reading ...

Index
How Do You Regularly Feel?................. 3 My Winning Smile................................. 36

Index............................................................. 4 Oops Face................................................. 38
You Are the Most Important My Empowerment Star........................39
Person in Your Life.................................... 5 Powerless Me...........................................41
Self Love...................................................... 6 Steps to Break
Self Talk ....................................................... 8 Behaviour Patterns.................................42
Value & Acknowledgment...................11 Tracking Our Progress...........................43
5 Things I Like About Me.....................12 Identifying the Pain...............................44
5 Things I Would Like to Today is the First Day .......................... 46
Improve About Me.................................12 Develop a Gratitude Attitude............47
Personal Skills Analysis.........................13 Daily Esteem Checklist.........................48
Gratitude Attitude..................................14 Daily Checklist Entries 1-20.................49
Decision Making.....................................16 Summary ................................................. 59
5 Step Decision Daily Checklist Entries 21-30............. 60
Making Technique..................................17 Summary ................................................. 65
Plan B Strategy........................................18 Daily Checklist Entries 31-40............. 66
Saying No Without Summary - Congratulations ............. 71
Feeling Guilty...........................................19 What If?..................................................... 72
Watch Your Language.......................... 20 A 5 Minute Daily Healthy Habit ....... 73
You Are Not Your Job........................... 21 Tips on Increasing Your
Life is Not a Popularity Self Confidence...................................... 75
Contest...................................................... 22 Affirmations............................................. 78
Quick Fixes for My Dreams & Goals for the
Feeling Overloaded.............................. 23 Next 12 Months...................................... 79
The Big Secret......................................... 25 My Dreams & Goals for the
Talking About Self Esteem ................ 26 Next 5 and 10 Years.............................. 80
Your Healthy Habit Self Esteem You are a V.I.P........................................... 81
Checklist .................................................. 28 Dream Big Dreams................................ 82
The Me That I See.................................. 29 Moments in Life..................................... 83
The Brick Wall ......................................... 30 Final Questions to Ask Yourself
Forgiveness.............................................. 31 Now............................................................ 84
Your Invisible Brick Wall....................... 33 Special Book Offer................................. 86
Ray of Sunlight ...................................... 34 Order Form.............................................. 87
How Long Will This Take?.................... 35 About the Author.................................. 88

YOU
are the
MOST IMPORTANT
PERSON
in YOUR life.
Maybe you just

don’t think so today.
If you don’t like you, how can
you expect anyone else
to like you?

The greatest love affair you
will ever have in your life is
the love affair you have with
yourself.
Self love
is the greatest
love of all.

Self Love and Your Potential
Without self love you can never hope to:
• achieve your full potential

• realise your greatest dreams
• be all that you can be
• create the life path you know in your heart you
deserve
Imagine a glass of water filled to the brim.
Now imagine that glass representing your self esteem and

self confidence.
The full glass represents 10/10 confidence - the best you

can ever feel ...
TOTALLY CONFIDENT
TOTALLY FULFILLED
TOTALLY FOCUSED
ACHIEVING EVERYTHING
YOU WANT IN YOUR LIFE
with absolutely no doubts or hesitations.

Self talk
Everyday throughout the world, shortly before we
awaken, all of our glasses are full to the brim and
overflowing with self-confidence and self-love - 10 out of
10 - that is ... before we open our eyes and start our self
talk ...
Our self talk - the endless chatter in our minds - is the

main thing accountable for destroying our self esteem
and confidence and sabotaging our success.
We’re told that 20,000 times a day we speak

to ourselves and 19,000 times a day it’s
negative!*
*A Recipe for Dreaming by

Bryce Courtenay

Self Talk examples
“It’s 6.30 am, I’m so stupid, I didn’t set the alarm. What day
is it? Oh no, this is the start of a terrible day, I just know
it. I know I can never get through everything I have to do
today, I’m hopeless ...”
“It’s so cold out there, I think I’ll skip my morning walk. All
I want to do today is sleep, I’m just so tired, how will I ever
get through the day.” That’s right, roll over and try to
go back to sleep and then beat up on yourself for not
being disciplined.
Under the shower ... squirt, squirt ... “Oh no, I forgot to
buy shampoo yesterday - I’m hopeless, I can’t remember
anything.”
“I’m not a good mother/wife/partner/employee. I’m

hopeless.”
... the list is endless.

Does this sound familiar?
The common factor with all of the above is that every
time we dump on ourselves, or put ourselves down, we
empty a little or a lot of that glass of self esteem and
confidence.
For many of us, before we even leave our homes each

morning, our glass is 50% empty and leaking fast.
By the end of the day, our glass is almost, if not totally

empty. We feel lousy and we look it.
Often there is no sparkle in our eyes, our shoulders are

hunched, we can’t be bothered ...
We feel overwhelmed, exhausted and as if we are on this

very fast merry-go-round and we can’t find the STOP
button anywhere.
How can we hope to be the best that

we can be if we keep sabotaging
ourselves with our self talk?

Value and Acknowledgement
This book has been written to help you start to:
• Value yourself
• Value your achievements
• Value your failures
• Acknowledge you as the most

important person
in your life.
• Dare to dream big dreams

and, most of all,
• to believe in you.

Take a moment to complete these pages.
5 things I like about me

1.................................................................................................
2.................................................................................................
3.................................................................................................
4.................................................................................................
5.................................................................................................
Well done!
5 things I would like to improve about me

1.................................................................................................
2.................................................................................................
3.................................................................................................
4.................................................................................................
5.................................................................................................
What one small thing can I do today to
improve myself? ...............................................................
...................................................................................................

Let’s do a Personal Skills Analysis:
List 25 things that you are good at (no matter how small or
insignificant you think that skill is)
1................................................................................................................
2...............................................................................................................
3................................................................................................................
4................................................................................................................
5................................................................................................................
6................................................................................................................
7................................................................................................................
8................................................................................................................
9................................................................................................................
10................................................................................................................
11................................................................................................................
12................................................................................................................
13................................................................................................................
14................................................................................................................
15................................................................................................................
16................................................................................................................
17................................................................................................................
18................................................................................................................
19................................................................................................................
20................................................................................................................
21................................................................................................................
22................................................................................................................
23................................................................................................................
24................................................................................................................
25................................................................................................................
If you can’t list 25 items today, you can always complete this
list at another time.

One of the best ways we can start to improve
our self esteem and self confidence is
by developing a
GRATITUDE ATTITUDE
We start to acknowledge the things in our world that we

are grateful for.
So let’s start our BE – DO – HAVE gratitude list today.
I am grateful that I am:

1.................................................................................................................
2.................................................................................................................
3.................................................................................................................
I am grateful that I can:

1.................................................................................................................
2.................................................................................................................
3.................................................................................................................
I am grateful that I have:

1.................................................................................................................
2.................................................................................................................
3.................................................................................................................

Gratitude Examples
Spending time with nature is a great way of
triggering many of the things for which we are
grateful.
For example ...
I am grateful that
• I saw a beautiful sunset tonight
• that I was able to pick a bunch of

beautiful flowers from my garden
• that I was able to swim in the ocean

today, etc. ...
A gratitude attitude does not revolve around possessions!
The latest car or the biggest house does not necessarily

make you a better or happier person.
Things cannot make you happy – only you can make you
happy.
Happiness, joy and self love are an inside job – this means
that as we work on our inner self, our outer self shows the
results.

Decision making
Sometimes when our self esteem is low, we struggle
making decisions. Decision making is an important life
skill and one you need to develop as you increase your
own self esteem.
At times fear is the thing that stops us making decisions

confidently.
You may have experienced some of these fears from time

to time :
• fear of making a mistake ...

• fear of getting into trouble ...
• fear of not being liked ...
• fear of feeling inferior ...
• fear of feeling or looking stupid ...
Do you have other fears that prevent you from making

decisions?
...................................................................................................................
Would you consider yourself a

❏ confident decision maker?
❏ a poor decision maker?
poor decision maker confident decision maker

1 10

Often we find that we are trying to fix things
that aren’t exactly the problem.
It’s as if we are trying to use bandaids to fix broken legs.

And then we wonder why it doesn’t work or solve the
problem. Sometimes we feel we are constantly making
poor choices and decisions.
Or even worse, we choose not to make a decision at all,

which in itself can sometimes become a bigger problem.
This FIVE STEP

DECISION MAKING TECHNIQUE
may help you :
1. State the problem
2. State the facts
3. State the real problem
4. List the options, both outrageous and

mainstream
5. Pick the option with the best outcome

based on the facts you have

When we start using the 5 step decision making tech-
nique regularly, we often find that the problem we
were trying to solve, was in fact NOT the real problem.
It is always a good idea to have a:
PLAN B STRATEGY
Sometimes situations change and the decision we
make today, may be altered dramatically by events in
subsequent days.
However, always have a plan B in the back of your mind.
If by chance I picked the wrong option, what could be my

fallback position – my plan B.
Plan Bs
have saved
many successful
businessmen
and women!

SAYING NO
WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY
NO! is a sentence
– it does not need extra words or reasons attached.
However, if you are not strong enough at times to say no

outright, you make like to use one of the following:
• no, I am not available,

but thanks for thinking of me
• no, I have other commitments at that time
• no, that time is not available
As your self esteem grows, you will find that NO becomes

a sentence for you also, and you stop thinking that you
have to give a reason for saying no.
Often we are wanting to make the other person feel

better about our rejection. Frequently making them feel
better, makes us feel worse. Often we will say -
“I’ll try if I can ...................... ”
“I might ..............” I’ll see if I can.
Forget it – you are not committed. Just say NO!

WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE
Often we give our power away with our words and our
actions:
“I’m just a ..............” rather than I am currently working

as a ..............
“I’m okay at .............. ” but I’m not sure if I

could do ...................
“I’ve only been in my own business for

3 months …” (totally ignoring your 20 years experience
in the industry)
“I’ll try if I can ...................... ”
“I might ..............” I’ll see if I can.
Forget it – you are not committed. Just say NO!
Some words you might consider removing from your

language:
but replace with and
just a replace with I am
I have to replace with I choose to
I can’t replace with I won’t
I’ll try replace with I will
Which words in your vocabulary constantly negate

your self worth?
...................... replace with ......................
...................... replace with ......................
...................... replace with ......................

You are not your job
Always remember you are not your job – you are a
person currently working or employed as a
....................................................................
If by chance you do not receive a wage for the work you

do (e.g. mum at home, carer, business support person) this
does not mean you are not a whole person or any more
worthy than a person who receives a salary.
Your self esteem does not need to be linked to your work

– in fact many readers, in addition to their paid or unpaid
work, are:
Mothers, sisters, daughters, cousins, aunts,

grandmothers, lovers, partners, girlfriends, soul sisters,
soulmates, neighbours, friends, volunteers, helpers,
carers, chauffeurs, teachers checking homework, book-
keepers balancing the family budget, cleaners, cooks,
ironers.
What other roles do you currently do, that are not

included in your paid work?
...................................................................................................................
...................................................................................................................
...................................................................................................................
Phew, no wonder some weeks you are exhausted.

Remember:
you are definitely NOT your job.

Life is not
a popularity contest
You don’t have to be liked by everyone you come into
contact with. Life is not a popularity contest.
Sometimes you may think when you say no to someone,

or stand up for yourself, that the person will not like you
... and if your self esteem is really low that day, you some-
times go into a whole stream of irrational thoughts –
“if they don’t like me, then other people won’t like
me either and then I will end up with no friends,
and then I will have no one to talk to or go out
with etc. etc ...”
When we are feeling strong, we can realise how crazy

these thoughts are, but at the time, they are definitely
rational thoughts for us.
And there are times when we are so overwelmed that we

do feel we might be a little crazy.
This is perfectly normal and no, you are not crazy,

just a little overwelmed at this moment.

Quick fixes
for feeling overloaded
1. Get some fresh air – spend a little time in nature, just
taking deep breaths and observing the natural beauty.
2. Find a quiet place (sometimes the bathroom is the only

quiet place available at the time) sit down, close your eyes and
picture yourself walking along a beautiful beach, without a
care in the world. Take 10 deep breaths. Try breathing in for two
breaths and out for three breaths, until you feel your thoughts
slowing down and you begin to feel calmer.
3. Play some gentle music if possible
4. Exercise, exercise, exercise. Although exercise is

the last thing on your mind, exercising in fact recharges and
stretches the body and mind. Consider a relaxing yoga, tai chi
or aerobic class to really revitalise you.
5. Look at the funny side of the situation and force yourself

to laugh – this has an instant effect.
6. Make a list of outrageous PLAN Bs – you will soon

become so absorbed in this list you will definitely start to feel
better.
7. “ME DAY” - Take out your diary and decide when you can
have a ME DAY – a day devoted to you pampering you – maybe
even a DOONA DAY – where you tell your boss, that you feel
in need of a wellness day, to avoid needing a sick day down
the track. If you can’t spare a whole day, what about half a ME
DAY. You must start to make YOU the NO. 1 priority in your life.
Remember if you don’t like you, how can you expect others to
like you?
continued ...

8. Meditate – even if for only 5 minutes. If you are not
familiar with meditation, diarise to visit your local book store,
library or health shop or, search online purchase a guided
meditation book or eBook, CD or mp3 (podcast).
9. Go for a walk – not a marathon run, just a relaxed stroll.

Clear your head, change your physiology and breathe.
10. Relaxation - If remotely possible, soak in a warm bath,

with music playing close by and ideally no distractions. If
this is not possible, just imagine you are soaking in a
relaxing scented bath and remember to breathe deeply.
Breath is life
Deep breathing helps
us to de-stress,
re-vitalise,
re-charge our batteries
and increase
our self confidence
and
belief in ourselves.

The Big Secret
Everyone experiences low self worth from time
to time - they just don’t talk about it.
Be courageous - talk
about self-esteem
Sometimes we have irrational and crazy thoughts and we

think that we are the only people in the world thinking
that way. We put ourselves down, don’t value our worth
and let others treat us as a doormat.
Guess what? that person sitting beside you on the train,

driving beside you in the traffic or sitting across from you
in a business meeting, looking very important and profes-
sional – all of these people also experience low self es-
teem from time to time – they just don’t talk about it.
Many people wear a mask hiding the real person, that

person who at times has insecurities, self doubts, wor-
ries and fears. They live in fear that one day, someone will
discover their secret, which is of course that they at times
feel as insecure as you do. If you knew their big secret,
maybe you would lose respect for them. When in fact, we
know now that occasional bouts of low self esteem are
perfectly normal.

Talking About Self Esteem
So, what if we were really courageous and started to
talk about self esteem?
Think about many of the women you know in your net-
work, is self esteem something you have ever discussed?
– probably not!
What if you made a list of three of these women and

made a commitment to discuss self esteem with them in
the next fourteen days if possible?
What if you were really brave and started talking to

these women about this book and how you came to read
it? – Maybe it was gift or a personal purchase, maybe
you saw someone else reading it and asked about it. Or
maybe you downloaded the eBook.
Self esteem is rarely discussed – because unfortunately

many men and women see low self esteem as a weakness
and they don’t want to be perceived as weak.
What if you were really brave and started talking to

these women about how you feel from time to time, how
your self esteem goes up and down just about every day?
What if the big low self esteem secret was

no longer a secret?

BE WARNED!!
Once you start discussing low self esteem with other
women, don’t be surprised when they say – “ME TOO!”
Me2
Me2
“I feel like that too, and I thought it was only Me2
me. Wow, I thought I was the only one who
felt that way, thank you for sharing with me.”
Me2
Me2
Me2
And then you will know that you aren’t the only woman
in your suburb, city, town, state or country that feels low
from time to time, there are Me2s all over the country.
What if we changed our belief system about low self

esteem and decided that it was a temporary flat spot that
we passed through from time to time? And we started
to realise that everyone world wide experienced low self
esteem at some stage in their day. Those little moments
when things didn’t go to plan. We made a mistake, got
rejected, slipped up, missed out, felt sad, alone or fearful,
whatever incident triggered this thought or emotion.
And what if we if we introduced a 5 minutes per day

healthy habit? ... almost a system, you might say, where
we knew that we could boost our own self esteem – no
matter how flat we felt at that time.

Your Healthy Habit
Self Esteem Checklist
Reports show it takes 21 days to make or break a habit.
The DAILY PAGES at the back of this book are deliberately

dateless. You complete the date, the day and “your day”.
This is not a diary as such - it’s more like a journal. You may
miss a few days here and there.
However, we hope that writing every day in your Dare to

Dream book/journal will become a habit for you.
As a result, the negative self talk will be replaced by

continual positive encouragement.
You may realise now that you have experienced low self
esteem for days, weeks, months or years ...
Whether you are a high flyer in the corporate world, an

unemployed woman, factory worker or shop assistant, a
victim of violence, a confused parent or partner ...
YOU NEED TO VALUE YOUR

WINS & LOSSES DAILY AND
BELIEVE IN YOU
NOW!

The me
that I see
is the me
that I’ll be.
Energy follows thought ...
what you think about

is what
you create
in your life.

The Brick Wall
None of us are as good as we will ever be ... yet.
We keep growing, keep learning, winning, laughing,

loving.
Hold on ... not all of us LOVE - some of us have

forgotten how ...
Many of us have built a brick wall

around our heart.
We may have initially built it for protection. Someone hurt

us (physically or emotionally), disappointed us, betrayed
us ... any one of a million scenarios.
Someone we loved and trusted hurt us - so we will do

everything we can to avoid that pain again.
Sometimes we cannot even recall what the painful event

was. Our subconscious has done such a great job of
blocking it out that it is buried under layers and layers of
pain and unhappiness and low self-worth.
... continued

Sometimes we can recall this painful memory or
experience - we go over it again and again in our minds ...
“He said ... she said ... then he did ...”
“I lost my job ... it should not have happened ... he

could have helped me last year ...”
Some of us are obsessed with the past, not realising the

habit is draining our energy, power and self love.
It’s happened, it’s over - we must learn to
FORGIVE FOREVER.
We can’t change anything about it - it’s over.
We need to move on...
Imagine the event floating in a balloon above your head.

You are holding the string and keeping the balloon tied
to you. Let the string go and let the past experience go.
There is nothing you can do to change a past event. It is
over! We may never forget the incident - but we do need
to forgive NOW!
Don’t waste another moment dwelling on the past.

Live today, today,
not yesterday,
not tomorrow ...
Live today, today.
Start living in the

moment -
we must let go of
the past.

Your invisible brick wall
Rather than learning to forgive, we choose to build an
invisible brick wall around our heart ... many of us hide
behind this brick wall and protect ourselves from ever
feeling pain again.
Imagine all these bricks are made of ice - frozen solid like
a freezer badly in need of defrosting.
Now, imagine a ray of sunlight forming itself into a blow

torch directed at your heart.
Slowly, gradually, ever so gently, the sun rays melt the ice,
brick by brick ...

This book is that ray of sunlight
Day by day, as you record your wins, no matter how
small, a little bit of that ice melts.
The levels of your glass of water (representing your self

esteem / self worth) stay higher for longer. Until most days
the level remains full to the brim and overflowing.
The overflow will be caused by all those icy bricks melting

around your heart.
As you begin to like yourself more, you will find that

you are much happier, more positive and life in general
becomes much easier for you. Your thoughts will become
much more positive and your self esteem will increase.
People will begin to see you in a very positive light.
Plus, you will stand out from others who may be negative
and lacking confidence. You will also find that you attract
lots of positive people into your life and start to have a lot
more fun.

How long will this take?
We estimate a maximum of five minutes a day is all it
should take to let the sun start to shine internally via this
book.
Every day (for forty days) we ask you to

complete each section briefly.
Only a few words are required ... it’s the fact that you
regularly record them that is the powerful key.
You may also consider including your families or

friends in this system. Each night as you share a meal or
conversation, ask the following questions - and be sure
to listen to the answers.
1. What was my win for the day?

2. What did I learn from any “oops” - mistake?
3. Who did I empower today?
4. Who did I allow to disempower me?
5. What am I grateful for today?
You will learn so much about each other and help

everyone to boost their self esteem.
Use the following “keys”

in your recordings to help you ...

My winning smile!
What was my biggest WIN for the day?
(no matter how small)
Examples:
• I looked for a job where I know I will be happier

and more valued.
• I completed ...........................(a task) under

difficult circumstances.
• I went for a walk during my lunch break.
• I spoke to my family about having some

Me Time.
• I found out about a meditation course in my

area
• I courageously talked to my friend about my

self esteem doubts and as predicted she said
– Me too!
....................................................................................................
....................................................................................................

My winning smile!
BIG WINS!
• I started walking for 30 minutes today - because I
know the fitter and healthier I am, the better I will
feel.
• I cleaned out the garage.
• I sent a Thank You card to the manager when I

found out I didn’t get the job. I wrote “thank you
for the interview - I was looking forward to working
with your organisation. If the successful applicant
does not work out, please call me - I’m very keen.”
• I got a job - the perfect job for me!
Recording your “WIN” for the day ... no matter

how small ... is very important.
We often dismiss our successes. However, if we record

them regularly, then on our days of doubt (and we all have
those days when our thoughts may be unusually negative),
we can achieve an instant and natural high by scanning
our past “Wins and Victories”.
“That’s right, if I could do THAT last month,

of course I can do THIS today. I’ll just face my fears
and get on with it!”

This is the “oops” face.
Oops, I made a mistake, I stuffed up - maybe
I even FAILED. That’s OK ... if I never fail,
I never grow.
What did I learn from my “oops”?

I’ll have to be more prepared next time.
For example:
• I said yes knowing that I will be overcommitted

time wise.
• I let myself get a bit depressed when I found out I

did not get that job I applied for.
• I forgot to take my business cards to the networking

function today.
• I forgot to take some deep breaths when I was

nervous in the meeting I attended. As a result I
know I didn’t give a good impression.
• I did not make a note of the special job I had to do

today for my boss and as a result I forgot to do it.
.....................................................................................................
......................................................................................................
......................................................................................................
......................................................................................................

My Empowerment Star -
an unexpected act of kindness every day.
Just as we may have built an icy brick wall around our

heart, if we look around, we are surrounded by people
who have done the same.
Maybe it’s our partner, family members, work mates, new

or old friends.
We should ask:
“How can I brighten their day?
Make them feel special?
Let a little bit of my sunshine into their life?”
There is an abundance of sunshine and love for everyone

... all we need to do is share it.

My Empowerment Star ...
Examples:
• Give them a compliment on their appearance
• Acknowledge their latest achievement, no matter
how small
• A smile, a greeting, a pat on the back
• Calling someone by name - particularly those people
working in a service industry and wearing a name tag.
These people rarely get recognition on the job.
It takes so little to make other

people feel special.
How many people’s lives did I

brighten or positively influence
today?

Powerless Me
When we allow someone to upset us, whether it be
a family member, friend - sometimes even a total
stranger - we allow them to take our power ... just like a
vacuum cleaner sucking up dirt.
We are letting someone take away our energy and our

power. Many of us literally give this power away the
minute we see this person’s face or hear their voice (on the
telephone) or we bump into them in the street.
Allowing them to upset us has

become such a reflex action, we
don’t even stop to think about
what we are doing.

Steps to break behaviour patterns.
The first step in breaking this behaviour pattern
is identifying it.
By recording this daily, we can record the name

of the people who we are regularly allowing to
disempower us.
The second step is making a decision to take

your power back.
They don’t deserve this power - ever!

We are all equal.
Look closely.
Maybe their icy blocks are so frozen solid around
their heart that the only way they can feel good
each day is by subconsciously making you feel
bad.
Identify the energy / power

zappers in your life and decide
to take your power back now!

Tracking our progress
I feel today was a day.
10
Over a 20/30/40 day period we can track our progress.
In the first 10-20 days of recording our “feelings”, if we are

honest with ourselves, maybe we feel lousy, sad, lonely,
scared - 5/10.
For many of us,

when feeling gets too painful,
we STOP FEELING
and START DOING.
The DOING may consist of eating, drinking, smoking,

taking drugs (recreational or prescription), watching
endless TV, shopping with money we can’t afford to
spend, or even sleeping all day.
All these things to avoid feeling any emotion.

Identifying the pain
Personally I have been able to identify many times in my
life, when I kept doing many unproductive things, rather
than get in touch with my feelings.
While you are working on building your self esteem,

from time to time, you may be feeling angry, annoyed,
disappointed, disillusioned, sometimes even a little
depressed and sad.
One of the biggest challenges we face with low

self esteem is that we think we are the only person
experiencing it. This is perfectly normal.
LOW SELF ESTEEM

is experienced
world wide.
And the more you acknowledge and talk about your

feelings, the sooner you will be feeling a lot more
positive and energised.

Sometimes getting in touch with our feelings can be
painful, for a short time.
However, you need to know that:
Pain is a gift
that
forces us
to do good things
to
ourselves.
You may consider spending an hour or so with a pen and

paper, where you describe what you want your life to
look like.
At the same time, record how you feel about these future
possibilities.
Rest assured, it’s perfectly natural to feel a little scared,

nervous or apprehensive about a future where you are
confident, self assured and “up” most of the time.

TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST
OF YOUR LIFE
Imagine drawing a line in the sand. From today on your
life can be different, if you want it to be. What happened
yesterday, last week, last year is over – you can’t change it.
You may not be proud of some past actions, or missed

opportunities. However, today is a new beginning for you,
a new start - if you choose it to be.
You need to forgive yourself first for all those things that
you said or didn’t say, the actions you regret, all the things
that keep your thoughts back in the past.
It’s over, it’s done, you can’t change the past.
But, you and only you can create your future.
The rest of your life

is up to you!

Develop a Gratitude Attitude
One of the best ways we can start to improve our self
esteem and self confidence is by developing a Gratitude
Attitude. Every day when we list simple things that we
are grateful for we will realise just how fortunate we are.
We only have to think of those less fortunate than our-
selves, to start to feel better.
When we spend time in nature, we have an opportunity

to really experience gratitude at its best. You may like to
schedule in the viewing of a sunrise at least once a week
– a daily miracle that we take for granted. A walk in the
park, along the beach, sitting under a tree listening to the
birds – how blessed we truly are.
We have so much to be grateful for – and we only have to

list one of those items every day for the next 40 days.

DAILY SELF ESTEEM CHECKLIST
Your daily self esteem checklist will keep you focused on
boosting your self worth.
It will also give you an opportunity to give yourself a daily
pat on the back.
You will find that you become the change that you want to
see in others.
• Learn to love yourself and others

• Stop doing and start feeling
• Give yourself daily recognition
• Face your fears and make your dreams and your
goals greater than your fears
• Give yourself permission to be the best that
you know in your heart you can be
• Dream daring dreams
• Realise that busyness does not equal success.
A balanced life equals success.
• Success and freedom are being content with what you
have NOW.
• Free your heart from hate.

DAILY SELF ESTEEM CHECKLIST Entries 1-20
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10

Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10

Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10

Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10

Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10

Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10

Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10

Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10

Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10

Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10

Congratulations!
You have made 20 daily entries in your book.
How full is your glass today?
Are you feeling fearless enough to set a goal today about

something you really want in your life and prior to today
have never been brave enough to admit?
YES (go to A) NO (go to B)
(A) ❏ Yes, today I am fearless and I feel ...................
.....................................................................................
My goal is ..........................................................
by (time frame) ......................................... I am
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
(B) ❏ No, I like me today more than I did 20 days

ago, but, I’m still a bit scared about asking for
what I want.
Ask me in another 10 days.

Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10

Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10

Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10

Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10

Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10

Congratulations!
You have made 30 daily entries in your book.
You are now starting to believe more in yourself than

you did 30 days ago - and other people are starting to
notice the change in you and believe in you also.
What would I like to achieve tomorrow?

I want you to focus on that thought throughout the day.
Tomorrow evening congratulate yourself on your
achievement.
Our thoughts become our reality.
If your achievement doesn’t eventuate, ask yourself,

“Do I truly believe that I am worthy of this
achievement?”
ALWAYS REMEMBER -
ENERGY FOLLOWS THOUGHT.
What you think about regularly
is what you create in your life.

Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10

Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10

Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10

Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10

Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10
Day ............................................. Date

MY WIN
OOPS
EMPOWERED
DISEMPOWERED
GRATITUDE

10

Congratulations
By now, you must believe in yourself, more than you

did 40 entries ago. You may notice that other people
are showing you more respect as you respect and like
yourself more.
Thinking “what if”, would you share your dreams for the
next 2 years:
If I knew I could not fail, I would.....................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
What if ? (I could create the perfect life for me) I would
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
What if ?...................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
What if ?...................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................

Now ask yourself out of all the “what ifs” which
one do I REALLY want and BELIEVE in my heart I
DESERVE?
The “what if” I deserve is
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
I would like this to happen to me (when)?..................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
What if .....................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
Now, write a goal around your “what if”:
By ........................................................... (time frame),
I am ...........................................................................................................
If you read this goal twice a day and

focus on creating that goal in your life,
it will be yours. There is no such thing as
an unrealistic goal, just an unrealistic
time frame.

A Five Minute Daily Healthy Habit ...
Congratulations on completing 40 days in your
Self Esteem Checklist.
By now you have created a five minute per day life
changing healthy habit.
You are encouraged to continue recording your daily
wins etc. either in another copy of Dare to Dream or by
creating your own journal – the choice is yours.
If you require more copies of Dare to Dream, turn to the
back of the book and place your order now.
You may decide now to continue this simple yet powerful

daily habit – it will give you the courage to make decisions
more confidently, enjoy life more, value what you do have
and most importantly you will realise that you now know
where the stop button on the merry go round is located.
Plus you have found the speed dial, which means that the
decision to go fast or go slow is totally your choice – no
one elses.
You will find that when you stand up for yourself and
state your boundaries you will no longer allow yourself to
be treated like a doormat.
At times life can be frantic, hectic, chaotic – at other

times it may seem totally out of your control. However,
we cannot continue this frantic pace without risking
or damaging our good health, relationships and our
valuable self worth.
We realise now that busyness does not necessarily equate

to success. True success is a strong sense of self worth and
self love – and most of all a balanced life filled with 10/10
days.

Each one of us is
unique, individual,
different and
very, very special.
In life,
we always get
what we expect.
What are you expecting to happen in your life

this week?
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................

TIPS ON INCREASING YOUR
SELF CONFIDENCE
• Be persistent.
• Be proud of who you are and where you have come

from.
• Ask for help before you need it.
• Always create a daily “to do” list and complete the

top 3 priorities first.
• Be grateful for what you already have, know and

understand.
• Say “thank you” often.
• Spend time in nature every day - even if it’s a

backyard or local park. Observing nature helps to
keep things in perspective for us.
• Encourage others when they don’t believe in

themselves.
• Know that it’s OK to make a mistake as long as you

learn from it
• Be courageous every day.
• Stay healthy - with regular exercise and eating

healthy foods.
continued ...

Tips on increasing self confidence continued ...
• Regularly stretch your comfort zone - aim to learn

new skills.
• Befriend positive people and let their positivity rub

off on you.
• Write your goals down and visualise what you want

your future to be like.
• Every week aim to watch at least one sunrise

or sunset and marvel at the miracle of nature.
• Each day do one small thing towards achieving

your major goal.
• Start uncluttering your life.
• Start treating others the way you would like to be

treated.
• Become the change you want to see in others.
• Realise that it’s okay to make a mistake - as long

as you learn from your mistakes.
• Stop putting yourself down - watch your self talk.
• Make a list of the things that make you happy

- minimum list of 100 - and resolve to do at least
2 of these things each day for the next 21 days.
continued ...

Tips on increasing self confidence continued ...
• Don’t be a doormat - stand up for yourself and state

your boundaries - what behaviour is acceptable
to you?
• Choose to move from the wish list to your own

master plans.
• Practise saying “NO” without feeling guilty.
• Remember to dream big dreams.
• Finally, believe in your dreams.
IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN YOU,

HOW CAN YOU EXPECT OTHERS
TO BELIEVE IN YOU?

Affirmations
Affirmations are short sentences about the life we want to
create.
As we write these words down or speak them out loud, it

helps us to visualise what our lives can and will look like
one day.
You may choose to write two or three affirmations on a

small card and keep the card in your wallet. Each time you
see the card, you will be reminded of the affirmations.
Some examples may include:
• Every day my self esteem and confidence is

increasing
• I am grateful for every opportunity that comes into

my life
• I am constantly moving out of my comfort zone as

I increase my skill levels
• I am working in the perfect job for me
• I am continually having 10 out of 10 days

My dreams & goals for the next 12 months
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................

My dreams & goals for the next 5 years
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
My dreams & goals for the next 10 years
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................

By now the sun’s rays have melted the icy bricks
around your heart.
When you look in the mirror, you see the

VERY IMPORTANT PERSON that you are.
Continue to let love enter your life today and

always.
Now you love you and believe and know that you
are the most important person in your life
... you are a V.I.P.
You can be the best that

you know in your heart you
can be.
THE CHOICE IS YOURS!

Never be afraid to
dream big dreams.
You are a
Very Important Person.
Start believing
in you today.
IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN YOU,

HOW CAN YOU EXPECT OTHERS
TO BELIEVE IN YOU?

“There have been moments in my lifetime
when I have been shown my absolute
greatness.
These glimpses of my true essence have been

so terrifying
that I have chosen to fear them.
To hide them away quickly, so no one can see.
They have however, lived on in my dreams

and fantasies.
Waiting for me to accept it

is not a sin to express my brilliance.”
Majik Journey

Final Questions to ask yourself now
1. If this is as good as it gets, is this good enough?
...........................................................................................................
2. If you knew you could not fail, what would you do

today?
...........................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................
This month? ..................................................................................
This year? .......................................................................................
3. How much is enough? ..............................................................
...........................................................................................................
4. If you died tomorrow, what would you regret not

having done? How soon could you do this?
...........................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................
continued ...

5. What matters most in your life? And how much time ..
are you spending on it each week?
...........................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................
6. When will you start putting YOU FIRST in your life?
...........................................................................................................
7. If a current situation in your life would not be

acceptable for your son or daughter or loved one,
why is it acceptable to you?
...........................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................
START BELIEVING
IN YOU TODAY!

This book has been written for any woman
who experiences any or all of these
symptoms:
• constantly runs out of time to get
through the “to do” list
• often feels guilty saying no and struggles making decisions
• is constantly overwelmed with being overcommitted
• has no time for herself
• feels like she is on a non stop merry-go-round
If you know any women who match any part of the above
description - this book is the perfect gift for them - you can help to
spread the self esteem message!
SPECIAL OFFER
(Australian orders only)
1 book $27.50 5 books $99.00
10 books $165.00 30 books $395.00
Price includes GST and postage anywhere within Australia and a

personal inscription by the author - Robyn Henderson.
ORDER YOUR COPY NOW!

Phone Robyn on 0407 906 501
or email [email protected]
or visit www.networkingtowin.com.au

NOTES....

About the author
Global Networking Specialist ROBYN HENDERSON is
best known for her networking profile, books and CDs
and her website www.networkingtowin.com.au
Building self esteem and self confidence is Robyn’s second

biggest passion. She has worked with major Corporates
through to long term unemployed and ex-prisoners.
The common link with these extreme groups is often a
lack of self worth, poor self image and self sabotaging
behaviours.
DARE TO DREAM gives the reader multiple tips on

confidence building, decision making, moving out of
your comfort zone, plus a simple 5 minutes per day life
changing healthy habit - to rapidly increase the number
of 10/10 days in your month.
Everyone experiences low self esteem at some time in

their life - it’s just that people rarely speak about it - until
now!

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SELF MASTERY SERIES WITH

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Published by NETWORKING TO WIN

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This book has been edited, designed, typeset and

Dare to Dream - Page 2

2. guilty when you say no?

3. overwhelmed when you have to make a decision?

4. as if you are in total overload and seriously need

5. as if you are an imposter and one day everyone

If you could just be .......................................

If you answered YES to any of

Dare to Dream - Page 3

How Do You Regularly Feel?................. 3 My Winning Smile................................. 36

Dare to Dream - Page 4

Maybe you just

Dare to Dream - Page 5

will ever have in your life is

the love affair you have with

Dare to Dream - Page 6

• achieve your full potential

Imagine a glass of water filled to the brim.

Now imagine that glass representing your self esteem and

The full glass represents 10/10 confidence - the best you

Dare to Dream - Page 7

Our self talk - the endless chatter in our minds - is the

We’re told that 20,000 times a day we speak

*A Recipe for Dreaming by

Dare to Dream - Page 8

“I’m not a good mother/wife/partner/employee. I’m

... the list is endless.

Dare to Dream - Page 9

For many of us, before we even leave our homes each

By the end of the day, our glass is almost, if not totally

Often there is no sparkle in our eyes, our shoulders are

We feel overwhelmed, exhausted and as if we are on this

How can we hope to be the best that

Dare to Dream - Page 10

• Value your achievements

• Value your failures

• Acknowledge you as the most

• Dare to dream big dreams

Dare to Dream - Page 11

5 things I like about me

5 things I would like to improve about me

What one small thing can I do today to

improve myself? ...............................................................

Dare to Dream - Page 12

Dare to Dream - Page 13

We start to acknowledge the things in our world that we

So let’s start our BE – DO – HAVE gratitude list today.

I am grateful that I am:

I am grateful that I can:

I am grateful that I have:

Dare to Dream - Page 14

For example ...

• I saw a beautiful sunset tonight

• that I was able to pick a bunch of

• that I was able to swim in the ocean

A gratitude attitude does not revolve around possessions!