TYPE INTRODUCTION

The avarice of the E5 consists of repressing oneself inside and out. It is a character that
defends itself from impulsiveness, from the primal instinct and emotional intensity. The E5 is
afraid to dissipate their energy, so its main concern is to economize, to not indulge. Not to give
to life. He treasures emotions, resources, and himself, for fear of being poor. He gives up too
easily thus leading a life of avoidance and resignation. clings to himself, jealousy and
possessively guarding his inner life, along with his means. He restrains himself and falls into
self-control.

At the interpersonal level, the main defense mechanism is isolation, to which he resorts to calm
his anxiety and his fear of chaos emotionally. It not only serves to withdraw from the
relationship, but it also compartmentalizes inner and inner experiences. unbody, emotions and
consciousness, with the result of a per loss of the meaning of the whole.

He is a very analytical guy, who can show great ability. Intellectual capability along with
emotional illiteracy and forgetfulness of impulses, to the point of not feeling the need for a bond.
It is a schizoid character, which avoids affective contact and is disconnected from the action
necessary to experience the world as it is. The Five experiences a strange polarity between
hypersensitivity and apathetic callousness. It can be one or the other or go from the first to the
second.

To protect her delicate feelings, she takes a distance that hides that nervous and vulnerable
sensitivity. You can close the shutters on your life to dwell in a dreamlike existence, poor in
deeds but effervescent in thoughts. Of the triad of mental characters, E5 is the most intellectual,
the most paternal, if we refer to the three interior parts, father, mother, and son. As Claudio
Naranjo says, only the thinker exists in him, with a serious lack of empathy.

Some Five traits include: rash reactions, love of privacy, mental over-intensity, hyperfocus,
apprehension, sentimental secrecy, emotional restraint, inhibited social manners, hating noise,
restricted speech, or the need for solitude when there are problems.

E5 CONSERVATION (SP instinct)

It is the most Five of the Five, the subtype that best represents the attitude of withdrawal from
worldly life. Another term for SP5 is "cave." Indeed, the ES's conservation knows how to live in a
cave, in a place far from the world and from the intrusions that it thinks it will necessarily have to
sustain in relationships. Very strict and reserved, even physically he tends not to appear, to stay
hidden. He appears to be frail and weak; is expressionless and resigned and is in touch with a
sense of insecurity that does not hide as they do the sexual and the social with a more evident
superiority.

In the triad of psychic functions, action, thought and emotion, the Conservation Five is placed in
the polarity of action, since it connects more than the other subtypes with the concreteness of
existence or, better said, of survival. He is also the coldest emotionally and the least concerned
with social recognition.

His movement to retain what little he thinks he has is very evident and he is self-sufficient,
convinced that he can live with little. He shows an excess of autonomy and can live alone in
relative comfort. In this sense, it is placed in the opposite polarity to the sexual E5, which is very
dependent on the affective relationship, although more idealized than real. The conservation
one fantasizes about an affective or sexual relationship but is the clumsiest in courtship.

It is also the subtype least hungry for meeting people, with intellectualization as a defensive
outlet for emotions. The three subtypes are mental, cold, and not very empathetic, but
paradoxically, among the miserly he is the one who can most develop the capacity to care for
the other; many times, moved by guilt. Naranjo associates compassionate love with this
subtype, without forgetting that the most developed of all E5 is admiration.

E5 SEXUAL (SX instinet)

The sexual E5 expresses greed in its constant search for the most perfect, safe, and satisfying
union. This Five may resemble the other two subtypes outwardly in his inhibitions and
introversion in relationships, but he places a special value on intimate, one-on-one connections.

This E5 is passionate about finding that special person with whom to connect deeply. Like the
social Five, it also looks for a lofty ideal, but in the realm of love. Feel the need for a great
example of absolute love. As in the search for the extraordinary of the social E5, the ideal type
of connection pursued by the sexual represents a very high standard, something like the
supreme mystical union: an experience of the divine in human relationships. And not only in the
couple: also, in good friends or in a spiritual teacher.

While social and conservation E5's are far removed from their emotions, sexual 5s are intense,
romantic, and more emotionally sensitive. It is the opposite of the E5s. But from the outside it is
not so obvious: he can be a lot like other E5s. until you strike a romantic chord with him

Although this type can appear reserved or laconic, it has a very romantic vibrant inner life, and
more ease when seeking pleasure. There are examples of sexual artists such as Chopin, whom
Naranjo points out as the most romantic of the classical composers of extreme emotional
expressiveness through his artistic creations but separated from the others in everyday life. And
one way in which distances himself from the other is with his hidden conviction of being special
and superior, which translates into a typical arrogant attitude.

Sexual E5s live in an inner world full of theories and utopian fantasies about unconditional love.
The love of a partner as the ultimate connection experience.

The name that Naranjo attributes to this subtype is trust, referring to the neurotic need to trust
the other, in contrast to the typical distrust of enneatype 5. It suggests a search for that person
who will be with you no matter what, that couple (or friend) to whom you can trust all your
secrets. This trust is the kind of ideal that makes sexual ES's, deep down, great romantics.

The search for this idealized version of love as a source of meaning in life is so demanding that
it is very difficult for us, the rest of mortals, pass the test. Your need is so great that he is
trusting the other that the easiest thing is for the sexual Five to be disappointed.

It is also the most active subtype in its seductive behavior, which is expressed above all
intellectually but is also accompanied by the search for physical contact.
E5's tend to be private people, but this subtype, in particular, has a high need for intimacy -
under the right circumstances, if he can find that one person he can really trust. And he lacks
awareness of the extent to which he fears intimacy and being invaded.

You need absolute transparency with your partner, an ideal is easy to find but it is also not true
authenticity, not in the relationship, but depositing in the other the possibility of being accepted
as it is, without taking into consideration the need to adapt mutually that makes a couple a
relationship of equals. Because of this, sexual E5's can become very demanding of the person
with whom they are in a relationship and become frustrated when they discover that they are
human. If your partner does not live up to your expectations of transparency and openness, you
feel disappointed and, because they hurt you, isolate yourself.

The most accessible love for this subtype is erotic because it uses sensual and sexual contact
as a loved and confirmed vehicle inhibited in instinctual surrender.

E5 SOCIAL (SOC instinct)

The Social E5 is more available for social relationships than in the other subtypes of greed,
even considering the distance and shyness of the character. The first trait that stands out in him
is his professorial tone and his attitude of expert, derived from a tendency to explain, more than
to live and experience. It's the most intellectual among the intellectuals. Mysterious and
grandiose, it's the most distant of the E5, often showing a selfish coldness. He hides behind the
knowledge he possesses to hide the negative aspects of his personality. It appears to be the
most communicative of the three subtypes, but not in the realm of privacy; and in the social
field, his communication is unilateral - from who that has something to teach others. It's very
difficult for him to express his inner world; mostly talks about what he has discovered or what he
knows.
It's also the most narcissistic of the three subtypes and feeds his self-image idealizing the
knowledge he has.

He has a sense of superiority that he "knows" more than others. The Social 5 seeks to confirm
and reassure his knowledge to overcome a hidden feeling of lack and inadequacy. The feeling
of superiority lasts until he finds someone "superior" to him, in terms of the degree of knowledge
that makes him feel diminished. He admires and loves the "great" until he compares himself to
them. The passion of Avarice, like the hypercompetitive Envy, often feels either superior or
inferior to individuals, very rarely just in between the two Because the reference of the social 5's
self-motivation is painted by an idealized form (a "totem"), it often creates a fluctuation in the
self-perceived importance of this subtype. The social 5's relation to the totem, as combined with
his often highbrow relation to everyday people creates a form of arrogant uncertainty.

Unlike the Sexual E5, which "totemizes" the partner and idealizes the intimate relationship, the
Social idealizes something that is not from this world. He doesn't run the risk of frustration of
human relationships, he's connected more to the transcendental than reality since he values
"another" world, not the one we live in. Although he may idealize the idea of a couple, it won't
last for long, since it's easier to adore a distant idea, appearing as important and reverent like a
master or spiritual guide. A clear example is Milarepa, the spiritualist from Tibet, who
abandoned everything connected to the world to maintain a professional bond with his master,
to whose spiritual teachings he consecrated. Among the subtypes, Social E5 is the one most
appealed to the mystical aspect, the one that idealizes the path and the spiritual experience.

Hence, he appears to be a seeker, moved by a strong attraction towards what is not of this
world, the 'hereafter'. Perhaps the ultimate symbol of the realization of this personality is the
figure of Buddha, who took refuge in his inner world through the cultivation of a compassionate
and detached mind, giving reality the attachment and suffering fitting to existence.

SELF PRESERVATION 5
1. Passion in the Sphere of Instinet: How Avarice Works in the conservation instinct

Greed is the passion that distinguishes the E5. It is the neurotic need to retain. The fixation of
not making yourself available to the external world, be it through thoughts, emotions, or objects.

This greed stems from a general experience of precariousness and scarcity.

The E5 cannot "get rid" of anything because he considers that the resources available to him
are not renewable, and therefore it is important, in order to maintain a certain well-being, not to
squander them.

The neurotic core of the E5 is constructed, in fact, as an early and primitive response to an
environment perceived as invasive, threatening, and violent. In an attempt to survive potentially
explosive pain, he locks himself into an existential configuration that reduces exchange with the
outside world to the bare minimum.

"Today, as soon as I can, I go inside, with my things, to my room, where I read or play music or,
more simply, I remain silent, lying down, as if it landed on me, taking refuge myself and
recovering the energy, finding my breath. I like to be alone at home. I need to be in "my"
physical place, a refuge-even if it's small. it doesn't matter-in order to recharge.

To conserve, to preserve, it is necessary not to consume, not to move. The point is that in the
worst moments I can reach the point of not really moving anything, of reducing everything to a
minimum, unless even, what is enough to guarantee my survival. I reduce the contact until it is
completely eliminated. I reduce physical activity as if it were freezing the body. I cut back on
food in the crazy belief that I can think and fast indefinitely.

On a material level I can be generous, but not so with other things. There is a part deep inside
of me that I never reveal and never talk about with anyone; to protect her, to protect myself, to
save, to survive. Even with the dearest person there is always that "point" that remains hidden,
reserved, under lock and key." - Martha F.

In this subtype, passion interferes with the instinct to preserve and is linked to a primitive
disintegration anxiety. In order to avoid the intolerable, this character sacrifices parts of himself
to erect a defensive nucleus and breaks in a schizoid way the relationship with his own
emotional and drive world, to lean on a still immature mental container.

He with conservation is greedy with himself even before he is greedy with the world. He isolates
itself from the environment and filters information and affections; thereby limiting their own
ability to learn and grow.

"I don't care about food. In recent years I've been learning to appreciate flavors and yet, deep
down, I don't care about eating. I have gone through periods in which I lost my job and the first
material thing where I saved was food; along with the clothes, which don't interest me either.
Until a few years ago he always dressed the same: he had two identical pants, two identical
shirts and a pair of shoes. cancels from to.
" - Martha F.

The E5 conservation is not related to pleasure (erotic love) nor does it possess a vital
representation of itself, of the other or of the world; his essential challenge is to try not to die.
His way of surviving occurs through a disconnection of human instinct, vitality, and self-
realization, in order to produce a sterile conservation of internal homeostasis.

"By holding back, I mean keeping my inner self to myself, even in cases where a relationship or
context might allow me to be more open. My interiority is all I have, the resource I cling to in
order to survive, and it is unthinkable to me until I say what I am feeling or thinking. The risk I
run is not only that I give myself up with nothing but, more profoundly, that of dying. I keep this
private.”

content secret because it's the only resource I have, and it's scarce." - Martha

This character is a survivor of repeated emotional shocks and, as such, goes out into the world
impoverished and anesthetized, maintaining his balance in a self-referential way.

"To share something of mine, something that I consider important, means to me that I will lose
it. I would stop having it for myself and therefore be exposed to being stepped on, destroyed, or
criticized. Not sharing my treasures allows me to keep what is mine intact, protected, with the
value that I give it. There is the crazy idea of "if I share with you what is important to me, I will
have nothing left and then I will cease to exist." - Manuela R.

The avarice of the E5 conservation is a safeguarding of the limit by annulling the contact. His
interiority is the result of a process of isolation. Away from others and exchanges is how he
"knows" that he exists. His exchange with the environment, represented as a manipulator, feeds
the threat of dispersion of the self.

"Some time ago, a friend asked me to borrow a handkerchief that I had in my hand to use for a
few moments, on a short journey. It was a simple scarf, for years, nothing special. I realized that
while I remained in front of him, motionless, without answering yes, or no, or anything, how
much his simple request resonated in a very deep place inside me. With frozen hands and feet,
petrified legs, and almost non-existent breathing, I clutched my handkerchief like it was the last
drop of water on earth. I didn't give my friend the handkerchief. Then I realized that, by
squeezing it, he had damaged it, something illustrative of how by dint of containing, reducing,
giving up, the process of internal desertification is increasing.

If my friend had decided to snatch the handkerchief out of my hand, he could have done so
instantly. My stance of strength would only have been valid until the moment he decided to take
it. Then it would be his. To avoid this, preventively I do not put myself in situations where that
risk can be taken, at all levels.
" - Martha F

"I can't lend a book, because I'm sure they won't return it, nor will I have the courage to claim it."
- Nicola B.
The self-preservation instinct of the E5, detached from the experience of the here and now,
moves, through the passion of greed, for containment.

"I hid to eat, so as not to have to offer it to colleagues. One asked me for a piece of chocolate,
and I didn't give it to her, because I had limited rations for that week. For me that response was
very natural; It seemed logical to me to count the food so that it would not be lacking. He didn't
understand why the others didn't. That's why I was surprised that they called me selfish. "- Rita
P.

The Five moves through the world like a reduced functioning organism, convinced that this is
how it'll survive through anything. There is a strong desire to physically retain the energy, to
breathe shallowly and to harden the body. His entire bodily experience is an expression of
containment: the slender body, the collected posture, the diaphanous and transparent skin, the
tiny bones.

Even his voice is compromised by the passion of containment, in this case of sound: his tone is
low, submissive.

The existential routine of E5 conservation is evident in an overabundance of energy saving.

"It's like being an automobile with the battery at a minimum charge and, therefore, in a
continuous energy saving regime in which only the basic memory maintenance and emergency
functions are activated. All operational functions are disabled: only 310 can call me or I can
make calls to emergency numbers.
But what good is a cell phone if I can't call a friend, enjoy a song, or express my thoughts
publicly on a social network? It is living giving up all the possibilities that life offers you. It is a
non-living, it is a standing still holding your breath for fear of dying, but in reality, it is a
premortem" - Nicola B.

Life experiences are separated into watertight compartments that do not come into contact with
each other.

"My day is divided between the routine of working and studying, and in between solving things
that I think are pending (paperwork, seeing people, resolving work issues). These are matters
where I do not want to waste time, because there is always the longing for precious time in my
world. In the daily routine I distribute the activities by sections or days. For example, one day is
dedicated to preparing classes; another, to see a friend; in the afternoons, walk the dog. And so
on. I compartmentalize everything to retain energy. If I get out of there, I lose a lot of energy and
it bothers me." - Camilla L.

1. The Characteristic Neurotic Need

In the conservation subtype, the passion of greed finds shelter as a specific form of
manifestation. The neurotic motivation to organize existence by restricting it to a limited, self-
referential, and homeostatic experiential horizon.

The refuge is to make oneself as inaccessible as possible to exchanges with the world. Creating
a sense of security through eliminating as many unneeded variables as possible.

Instead of living in a warm, welcoming place that would welcome and protect him, the E5 child
of conservation entered a cold world that could turn violent at any moment and threaten his
existence. He had no one to help him process the pain or the unpleasant feelings that he felt.
They completely overwhelmed him, and not having the strength to sustain them, she opted for
the strategy of withdrawing, freezing her body, and distancing herself from feeling.

"One of the first memories of my childhood (which is still very much alive) is linked to a series of
repeated episodes in my third year of life, during regular visits with my grandfather, to a public
place owned by relatives, where I was welcomed by a friend of the family. He frequented the
premises with gestures and acts (with his hands) that were trivial. Acts that could only be
perceived as physical violence that was repeated and deliberately designed to generate
physical pain (sadism). A violence against which I found myself unable to react (I couldn't even
utter a scream). The emotions that followed the initial state of shock were panic (with relative
freezing of the body) and incomprehension at the fact that no one seemed to notice my
suffering. Suddenly, the natural joy and curiosity about the world of a two-year-old had fallen
over a shadow of terror before a violent and dangerous external world." - Nicola B.

After painful experiences like above, the child believed the environment is completely
untrustworthy. He has perceived that reality is dangerous and tries to keep himself out of harm's
way. But whoever does not let anything in will hardly let anything out. By renouncing the outside
world, he anticipates that if what he carries inside emerges, he will be left with nothing. That is
why this character rigidly protects what he feels he has left, armoring himself.

"I am insurmountable for the other, I keep to myself what I feel, what worries me, what hurts me,
what really matters to me... All that is stored in my internal cave, and I don't let it out. As
protection. If I keep it to myself, it cannot be harmed." - Manuela R.

Like a snail that carries its shell on its back to safeguard its fragile interior, wherever the Five
conservation goes he carries his body constrained to prevent emotions from entering or leaving.
His face tries not to betray any expression, so they don't know what's going on inside. He
doesn't really look at the other and tries not to open his mouth, so it's more difficult for words to
escape.

"I don't really tell what happens to me, what I feel, what I'm busy with, what matters worry me.
Even with the few people I trust, I prefer to listen rather than talk. It still bothers me to tell
something about myself; there is always the fear of being rejected or that my problems can be
laughed at. I feel that what concerns me is so different from that of others that I will never be
understood." - Manuela R.

"I remember that, when I went to a family party, I would sit in some corner away from
everything, with my arms crossed and not saying a word. If someone wanted to get me out of
there, it was difficult for him to achieve it; a part of me wanted to participate but the part that
thought I would make a mistake always won and everyone would make fun of me and that is
that they usually always had something to reproach me for." - Yashmir H.

Security linked to survival, which he identifies as tightening boundaries with the world in order to
reduce interactions, can take the very concrete form of a physical place to exist in isolation.

"The future child E5 conservation is not respected in his right to privacy, he does not have his
own space where he can be calm. It is as if, instead of a loving look that contains and gives
security, invading eyes disturb his expression. His reaction is to erect a wall, since he knows of
no other way to set limits, in a preventive antagonism. The physical cave is a physical place,
and it is my home.

It's the safe place I've built for myself after having none in my childhood.
Manuela R
"I had no privacy until I was eleven years old. When I had a room all to myself, I used to lock
myself in there and be alone. But the walls had cracks and my mother was spying on me. The
feeling was of constant invasion and lack of freedom." - Rita P.

"The cave is a hiding place from the fear of being seen, because the fantasy is that, if they see
me, either they won't leave me alone or I won't be able to meet their expectations." - Camila L

"I slept with my mother until I was eight or nine years old. For some reason I don't remember,
she decides it's best for me to have my own room; I was not very convinced but the next day I
was amazed at how wonderful it was to have my own space. One day the door of my room was
left without a lock, I asked my mother to put one for me and she flatly refused. She told me that,
if I was already spending time locked up, if I put a lock on it, she would never be able to get me
out.
Yashmir H.

Later, the person will find an even safer refuge, a specific place that can be a flat, a room or
simply a space that only belongs to him and to which no one else has access. The feeling of
freedom touches him being alone. There he allows himself to be more authentic and move and
express himself as he pleases. Feeling protected from inquisitive glances, he lowers his
defenses in contact with her childish and tender part.

"In solitude I can contact plants. I am glad to give them water. I'm also glad to play with animals,
to see stars and landscapes.
" - Rita P.

"In my space, and my own world, I feel full freedom. I don't have much space in the external
world, this is the only place I have." - Camila L.

"Since I live alone, my house is my cave, a place that I consider safe, where I seclude myself to
get away from the world and not be in contact." - Manuela R.

The withdrawal reduces the state of alarm that is activated at the border of contact with the
environment. The den is a resting place where he can replenish his energies, since the other
and his demands lead him to an excess of contention that generates a growing internal tension,
which he feels he must get rid of.

"In my house I relax, the tension that is present when I am with other people disappears. It is a
space of freedom, in which I can do or not do as I please; outside I feel more inhibited,
paralvzed. " - Manuela R

"The need to run away from crowds and stay alone is an automatic procedure that helps me not
lose myself. The feeling is that the contact and demands of people drain my energy. Then I
have to retreat to the cave to collect myself. In reality, it is not so much wanting to recompose
and return as not leaving the cave anvmore." - Rita P.
"The refuge is a place where I can recharge my batteries and renew myself, so that I can go out
into the world again and face it, because between the demands of others and the tragic events
in the world, all I want is to forget about the outside and not go out for davs." - Yashmir H.

Sometimes the E5 conservation puts itself too much at the mercy of the other, to the point of
allowing itself to be exploited. He then feels that he loses autonomy and that he does need to
set limits but, since he does not dare, he simply decides to walk away and lock himself up.

"Isolation has been my only way to protect myself. to set limits. There is an inability to say:
«No», to know what I want, to defend my position, respond to criticism... The feeling is that of
being overwhelmed and not having the resources to avoid it, except isolation." - Manuela R

The 5 conservation feels helpless in the face of an aggressive world. That same helplessness,
coupled with the feeling of having no one to protect him, makes him very angry. But for
someone so fragile, expressing anger is a complicated mission.

Sometimes you can sense the magnitude of your anger and see that you can not only be hurt
but also hurt. He does not want to be part of the same thing that leads him to armor himself. So,
with his confinement, he seeks to protect the other.

"I didn't feel that I was strong enough to confront my father's aggressions; nor my mother's
indifference." - Leda O.

"I seek security against the risks of aggression or invasion of the environment. I do not feel that I
have the resources to face the aggression and therefore I withdraw from reality; if possible, both
physically and mentally. In physical aggression terror-panic prevails; I experience psychological
humiliation.
Nicola B.

"I do not trust people; They can harm me and I them. The world is hostile, and I don't want to be
part of it.
" - Camila L

But how does his aggression manifest this character? Interestingly, with the same defense that
protects it. Thus, the den, cave or refuge is the place with which, in a gesture of contempt, he
turns his back on a world that does not deserve it. Just as he felt rejected or abandoned, now in
his confinement he rejects and punishes the other by leaving him, abandoned to his fate,
without caring about the needs or feelings of the one left on the other side of the door. And, if
you can't stay inside your enclosure, silence is your best weapon:

"I usually go to the shelter when I feel attacked. And since I don't have the courage to confront
and his rejection causes me pain and guilt, isolating myself is a manifestation of my contempt, a
way of saying, "If you don't need me, I don't need you either." I hope with this act to cause him
pain but also to hide my suffering, because I feel like a wounded animal to which it is possible to
do even more damage. I bear my pain alone and confirm that the only thing people know is to
hurt. " - Yashmir H

"Silence is a guarantee not to create relationships of any kind with anyone. Silence drives
people away. Not responding is also a form of defense-aggression. A way, actually, because it
doesn't leave room any opportunities." - Marta F.

The person usually, of course, rationalizes this confinement: The world is not really interesting;
Nothing good can be expected from relationships and therefore it is better to be alone than in
bad company.

"I don't put myself in the network of relationships: I always see it as extremely dangerous: for
me, for my survival, for my autonomy." - Marta F.

"My crazy idea is that, in the relationship, the other is going to hurt me. If I cannot expect
anything good from the other. So why have him?" - Manuela R.

Above all, the cave exists so that this hypersensitive being, extremely vulnerable, easy to hurt,
with little ability to bear pain and who did not feel sufficiently cared for, does not return to contact
the suffering that an invasive and violent external world has caused him, which, despite the
years, he believes can annihilate him.

"If I scratch the surface and remove layers and get to the bottom of it all, I discover a very hurt
girl who feels abandoned and helpless and who wants to be cared for and protected in a very
loving and permanent way. And since I know that no one is going to give it to me, I close the
doors because I don't want to feel that pain again." - Manuela R

He continues to resort to an obsolete strategy, clinging to survival while life slips out of his
hands. He does not see that the body from which he had to disconnect can today be his great
ally to contact his needs and pleasure. For fear of pain, he does not let anything in the world
enrich him, but if he allowed himself to open up, he could connect with his inner strength and
with the desire to belong and be part of this world.
"Metaphorically, it's clenching my fist to keep my one grain, which is all I have.

By avoiding opening my hand so as not to risk losing it, I am denying myself the chance of many
other grains falling into my palm. To avoid suffering-dying I avoid any experience but, in reality, I
am already dead through denial of my life and love. The neurotic excess of protection distances
me from life and locks me in a cage, which does not allow me to experience love. To love is to
get involved, to risk, to expose oneself to change. A person who chooses loneliness over love is
not strong, but a weak person dominated by the dark side of his mind." - Nicola B.

3. Interpersonal Strategies & Ideas

With the term fixation we refer to the cognitive part of the character that Naranjo defines as
«hidden cognitive disorder»>. It is a system of interpretation of reality that is guided and fed by
the main passion.

"All fixation constitutes, so to speak, the rationalization of the corresponding passion."

Therefore, their ability to know events will inevitably be partial, fixed and, in any case, distorted.
It carries the illusion (not visible to consciousness) that reality, seen in this way, is more
manageable. A series of beliefs branch out from this nucleus, also rigid and absolutized, which
are not in contact with a healthy examination of reality: the
"crazy ideas".

In enneatype Five, fixation is isolation, understood both as a rationalization of one's own

behavior and as a way of organizing the contents of the experience.
"Isolation is perhaps the first thing I learned to do with motion. I lie; that is, move to withdraw,
safeguard, protect me from others. I isolate myself from people and at the same time, and
paradoxically, from myself." - Martha F.

"Isolation also occurs cognitively: my mind works by ordering categories and patterns. This
order helps me not to spread out and not feel so tired afterwards.
Camila L.

In E5 conservation, the neurotic need for refuge finds its cognitive consolidation in a vision of
the external world as unattractive and cannibalistic, and of itself as a self-sufficient entity.

This character builds its adaptation program to the world around a nucleus of functional
autonomy where the others represent an impediment or an interference for the maintenance of
balance.

The contents that the E5 experience undergo a compartmentalization process that manifests
itself, in this subtype, in a cognitive rigidity that is functional to a flattening of the flow of
communication with the outside world.

Isolation not only separates the mind from reality but also the parts of the mind from each other:
the "subjects" or different areas are organized in watertight compartments that are not related to
each other.

The E5 makes the categorical and radical decision in childhood to isolate himself for a matter of
survival, in an attempt to respond to the surrounding world - which he perceives as inhospitable
- and to control the emotional chaos.

"The world seems to me to be a wild and inhospitable place and I feel helpless in the face of it."
- Manuela R.
His childhood is characterized by distant parental figures, cold and invasive at the same time.
"My mother didn't tell anyone about her family while she was giving birth; only later. And since
he was in the final exams of the race, the first thing he asked for; already consciously, was a
typewriter. I had hepatitis twice, but no one noticed it the first time." - Yashmir H.
Many E5s grow up in a threatening context, of abuse by the mother or by one of the figures who
should take care of the child. Not infrequently parents are absent.
What a Five learns, even unconsciously, is that if the primary relationship is so demanding,
violent and banditious, it is better not to venture into any type of relationship.

"My mother's idea that only at home would I be sure was also betrayed. I decided that I couldn't
trust my mother. Once I had an episode of abuse from a neighbor and my brother, she blamed
me and said that I had looked for him. I passed as a liar; she didn't believe me. I stopped telling
him things and I went on to keep everything for myself.".
- Rita P

It is common in the Five the experience of not being believed and not having evidence to prove
what it holds or the strength to assert itself. Many E5s share the irrational idea of "I do not have
the right to ask, to complain, to complain," or "I do not have the right to exist."

Whether or not they enjoy an economically affluent situation, a Five finds himself alone, after
quickly learning that the price to pay for what is commonly called "love rate" That in practice it's
neither heat nor love - it's too high, because It involves being swallowed up by the mother in the
first place. The first
"lesson" that he inevitably learns, and immediately turns into a crazy idea, perhaps the most
serious of all, is: "Love does not exist... it is a manipulation... so it is better to be alone."

"Only something dangerous can come from the outside world and, therefore, love is not from
this world." - Nicola B

The most logical solution, therefore, seems to be to isolate yourself both physically and
mentally. It is an insulation above all interior. Life takes place in a desert void that prevents any
bond, because "contact is painful." Fragmentation is necessary to maintain this salvific isolation.
And all this is aggravated by the lack of relational tools. It is a common experience of the Five to
see the world of relationships as a game whose rules are not known and cannot be learned;
they are too complicated.

"It's playing a game whose rules I don't know and in which I'm lost. For many years I was not
aware that there were rules that I did not know, and the feeling was of not understanding
anything. For example, at school I didn't understand the complicity and familiarity with which
some girls related to each other; It was disconcerting. Some colleagues from my first job
congratulated me on my birthday by SMS (it was a holiday). I was excited to receive the
messages. When I returned to work, many asked me if I had received the congratulations
because I had not answered them. I hadn't even thought of it. That was the feeling: learning
very basic things on the flv. There are times when I would like to relate and I don't know how to
do it, I don't have tools. I want something and it seems that you show just the opposite." -
Manuela R.

The experience of feeling extraterrestrial or invisible, with the subsequent fantasies about it, is
structured in childhood into a "I am not of this world."

"Kindergarten... even at that time it was difficult for me to get close to other children. I stayed on
the sidelines, not being able to approach them to share the game. I watched them and waited
for them to finish. Then I approached the toys they had left and played with them alone.
Loneliness has been one of the great constants of my experience." - Nicola B.

This leads to a growing disinterest in relationships, to a detachment that leads him to be

interested only in his own things. The crazy idea he clings to is: "It's not
worth it "

"Looking at my navel all day.. and the other one doesn't exist." - Manuela R.

This attitude is accompanied by a conviction (sustained by a physical experience): not having

enough strength to sustain a confrontation. There appears the crazy idea of "I am self-sufficient,
I don't need anyone"; a reduction of my own needs to a minimum, until they almost disappear;
and a hiding until I become invisible. By turning to this fixation of isolation, this character falls
into both physical and mental stagnation.

"I feel disconnected from the body dimension and related emotional reflexes. This implies a
rigidity of the body so as not to sense and thus survive psychically."
- Nicola B

Very soon the E5, conservation learns - after giving up expecting anything (good) from others -
to stay waiting:
"I learned to lower my needs to a minimum, and I waited for your satisfaction instead of going to
it. My mother, when she was little, forgot to feed me because she didn't feel that need. I wasn't
protesting, I was just waiting. They also say that I was always cold, because my mother didn't
shelter me and didn't protest either."
Yashmir H.

Similar experiences lead to choosing isolation as a way of survival, in a solitude where "my time
is my greatest treasure."

"I don't like to submit to a schedule, I don't like not being able to eat at my time and I also came
out very tired. That they want me to do things in a hurry kills me; I enter into a lot of resistance."
- Yashmir H.

"I learned to reduce my needs to a minimum, and to wait for their satisfaction instead of going
towards it. My mother, when I was little, forgot to feed me because she didn't feel that need. I
didn't protest, I just waited. They also comment that I was always cold, because my mother
didn't keep me warm, and she didn't protest either." - Yashmir H.

Similar experiences lead to choosing isolation as a way of survival, in a loneliness where "my
time is my greatest treasure."

"I don't like that of submitting to a schedule, I don't like not being able to eat at my hours and
besides, I would leave very tired. " - Yashmir H.

If you isolate yourself from the world, always and in any circumstance: the motto rings "I am
better off alone so I can recover my strength; "Isolation is what allows me to survive ... keep me
alive."

"I follow the course of my thoughts. I become, I am, I identify myself with my thoughts which,
madly, become the only important thing. Less so today but, until a while ago, I left home only
and exclusively to go to work." - Marta F.

An isolation, as we have already said, not only relational but also very internal, leads to the
crazy idea that everything is classifiable.

"There is an isolation of mental order and programming in which it is categorized, and patterns
are sought where everything fits perfectly. This order becomes a way of discharging energy and
all stress, and also energy saving; that is, as long as everything fits and has its place, there is
less wear and tear when looking for it because it is simplified. I see what happens in my mind
reflected in my computer full of folders, in how I divide the day and the tasks." - Camila L.

Hand in hand with isolation goes the search for silence, both external and internal «silence is
always better and in silence»- which raises the tendency to introversion to the nth degree.

"Searching for external silence is the mirror of the search for internal silence, an attempt to
silence the mind but ... sticking to its contents, analyzing them, observing them, trying to know
them more and more (perhaps more deeply?), as if digging and knowing, from knowledge,
silence could arise." - Marta F.
This attempt to reach inner silence is -you can already guess- a vain search, because:

"There is a lot of mental noise. My head thinks and thinks without stopping; it's like going around
incessantly, without necessarily getting anywhere. I can go around a topic and start over again
and again.

It is living in the head without taking action. They are two worlds disconnected from each other:
my head, with its thoughts; and reality. Like two rooms separated by a thick wall, with no doors
or openings connecting one with the other.
It is a square mind, not at all flexible, where planning is immovable. If we meet to go to the
movies and in the end the plans change, it's a terrible thing, I can't adapt; not only planning is
dismantled but "my whole life" is dismantled.” Manuela R

This total trust that the Five places in thoughts, and the subsequent attachment, is expressed in
the crazy idea that "if I think hard enough about a thing, I will find a solution"; or "better to solve
everything alone.

The isolation is supported by other crazy ideas, such as "The world is dangerous, in my house I
am safe."
"Why go out? You are safer at home. There is chaos out there. People who want to drain you
and feed off your little energy. What's more, I am afraid to go out, to leave the "safe" space. A
fear of losing everything if you are absent. Fear of existing and not existing.
" - Angelica A

The E5 conservation is isolated from another that a priori judges invasive:

"He, someone else is going to hurt me." Since he is unable to set a limit, he isolates himself
preventively, according to the logic that "always better alone." When this is not possible and he
is "at the mercy" of the other and his requests, he resorts to other strategies, reaching the
extreme of remaining motionless, without a voice, without responding in any way, while his
thoughts take refuge in that internal cave. until it seems to disappear.

"On the other hand, with people, in public, I remain blocked, without thinking, blank."- Manuela
R.

When someone asks you a question, it usually goes through the experience of the "clean slate
of thought", which is nothing but an umpteenth form of withdrawal.
"When I don't feel comfortable with the people around me, I lose my voice, and I can't express
what I need or what I like, being carried mechanically from here to there. That's why I prefer to
get away from those people, so as not to feel helpless, and that's how I stop interacting.”
Yashmir H.

This attitude, which is often unconscious, ends up hurting the other person.

Which leads to the other expressing their disappointment, however the E5 conservation does
not know how to be in a situation of conflict. He has an indication of life, the obligation not to
harm anyone in any way. Which leads to another crazy idea: "If I am tough or confrontational, I'll
hurt," which convinces him that he doesn't have the strength to stay in the world.
The aggression then turns on himself. This character slides towards self-reproach about
relational incapacity, an aspect that feeds back the conviction that isolation is the only way to
survive, in a vicious cycle.
"This space, which is my world, deep down covers the fear of risking contacting others because
I reject myself and I don't accept myself for who I am. It is an evasion of the suffering that this
rejection entails, because it is a very deep pain, without words, it is like living with the
monstrosity of myself constantly.” Camila L.

Isolation and silence are also weapons of defense and aggression, since "I can never fully trust
people." This system is learned at an early age, often by sudden and unexpected invasions or
excessive demands, where the only way out is to sink into silent detachment devoid of any
movement or action and which provokes a growing anger in the other.

"I avoid any form of relational commitment, at any level, a priori. Isolation, silence, are a very
violent form of defense-aggression, a form of disobedience or; perhaps better, of an anarchy
that, by not recognizing the other or the authority, simply leaves. The only weapon I had with my
mother was to remain motionless and silent." - Marta F.

"I feel the vital need for solitude and when I cannot obtain it because I feel required or
demanded by the outside world, I feel a self-reproach (not always explicit and conscientious) for
my lack of limits, for not establishing my space." Camila L.

Another crazy idea behind the isolation is: "If I'm not able to set limits, it's because I'm little and I
don't deserve to live."

The general atmosphere of a Five is one of fragility. Isolation protects a tiny inner vital point,
extremely precious, a rare treasure. You can't even imagine the share it because it is barely
enough for him. The other comes to threaten that success, with the associated irrational
conviction that "the other is going to hurt
Letting someone enter one's own space or leaving it to find a relationship, to the world (leaving
the treasure «unattended») are extremely dangerous eventualities, since it is certain that the
other took by any means -asking, manipulating, abusing, cheating, looting or killing-that little
vital part. "The only way to protect myself is to isolate myself."

The course of such a life goes towards continuous and, not infrequently, exponential
contraction, in the crazy idea that «only isolation allows survival».
"The resources are few (of energy, knowledge, capacities of all kinds) [to be in a world where
everything seems distant and unattainable, and that is not for me." Camila L.

The crazy idea here is associated with scarcity: leaving what little you have is very dangerous.
"If it goes out, the resources will run out and can't be filled again."
This is the irrational thought that sustains the passion of Greed.

"The relationship, whatever it is, is dangerous. Also, since I don't have much for myself, let
alone to give, there is really nothing that anyone would want to approach me for. So, I avoid any
type of contact a priori, and that prevents any possibility that the other asks me something.”
"For many years I had no friends. Then came a beginning of friendship but between us there
was, and still is, eight hundred kilometers apart. As if to tell me that something similar to a
friendly relationship is also possible, but at a suitable distance." - Marta F.

This rigid system of self-referential functioning, which seems so ironclad, safe, and resistant to
invasions, actually has many weak points, one of which has to do with ingenuity. Having
"learned" the E5 that love does not exist, that it does not exist, that you do not have to trust
anyone and that the only way to survive is to isolate yourself, and lacking "relational tools", it is
very likely that you will fall into naivety, at the price of reconfirming the pattern that justifies
isolation.

"Despite the distrust, the barriers, and the distances that I put with the other; I have a point of
naivety in which I do not see the bad intentions of the other and then I feel used.

For example, a co-worker told me to go eat and I thought it was okay; then I found out that she
had done it because the companions with whom she was going to eat that day could not. I felt
used and I blamed myself: How could I not see that something was happening, that it was not
normal that she would invite me to eat?"
- Manuela R.

We can appreciate in these testimonies the closeness of E5 to E4 in relation to the experience

of lack; with the difference that Five is isolated in his mind while Four is trapped in his plane.

Isolation is, then, consequence and principle at the same time. Internal compartmentalization
isolates emotions from the field of experience. They do not exist. For this reason, despite that
introverted appearance, which would suggest a deep knowledge of himself, what this character
is away from his internal world.

4. Other characteristic features and psychodynamic considerations

The future child E5 conservation was overprotected while his needs were not seen. This polarity
causes a shock that results in paralysis or freezing.
An overprotective mother takes over her offspring to the point of suffocation.

She may think that she is taken care of, but there is no affection but a threatening and
overwhelming control, which can reach the point of screaming and hitting. She is something to
which the child could never reciprocate; it is too much for a creature whose limits are drilled
without her being able to understand it.

"I have always eaten very little; in fact, I've never been hungry. And one day, suddenly, my
mother came for me, she took me to the kitchen, and she put in front of me what I hadn't eaten.
Obviously, she didn't eat it and she started shoving it hard into my mouth." - Marta F.
"I was a child who did not have the direct presence of her parents. I was taken care of by my
brothers.
I was not visible. I witnessed the physical abuse to which my siblings were constantly subjected,
and when I was very young, when I was five or six years old, I decided to make myself invisible
so as not to suffer what they did. I took refuge in the books in my room." - Leda O.

Many father figures are overshadowed by a complaining mother. They are absent, passive;
either they abandoned, or they never were. This silent figure is sometimes someone with whom
the boy or girl identifies. However, such resemblance is a kind of condemnation

"I saw my mother as the perpetrator and my father as the victim; my mom used to scream and
get very alarmed, and sometimes she was aggressive. My father was depressed." - Camila L.

The figures of the mother and father remain distant, due to subjugation and absence,
respectively. Orphaned in an inhospitable world, very still and silent, but alert, this child will
shape a character that feels profound desolation, with an icy burden that sinks into his chest.

"My mother, a woman disconnected from her needs, was not hungry and thought that I was not
either, nor did I cover myself when it was cold. I imagine that there I learned to minimize my
needs and to wait, patiently, for them to be satisfied.

It also gave me the impression that I was a hindrance to my mother, that it bothered her greatly
that I was on top of her, and that she was always looking for someone to take care of me,
because she had to work." - Yashmir H.

"When I remember my childhood, I feel a great distance towards my parents; it was as if they
lived in a world far away, always worried about their problems AND with many arguments,
especially about money. My parents' problems were always more important, and I learned not to
ask because I thought it might bother me." Camila L.

The child grows up in a quiet and dry environment, with little physical proximity, or remains
invisible and feels far from everything. Many times, there is economic instability, you must save,
not ask because there is never enough, it will not be enough. It is occupying a space that should
correspond to another. It is not worth living, where everything becomes debt and savings.

The feeling remains that one is easily expendable; something that translates into a deep-rooted
rejection of life and susceptibility to the rejection of others.
Basically, the little one feels like an inconvenience for the parents, and a mental space is
created as a refuge.

"The environment in which you swam and grew up was dry, narrow, confined, silent,
threatening, airless, desert, and desolate. Among the first things I remember is that deep and
long silence at home. A paralyzing whistle; The only thing I could do was stand still in one place
and wait." - Marta F.
"As a child I was afraid to tell what was happening to me because I felt that they could not
contain me; I saw that any problem caused alarm in my parents. His overprotective and
exaggerated reaction scared me. That is why I preferred to remain silent, not to cause problems
and to be left in peace (a desire that is very evident in me to this day).'
- Camila L.

The following traits stand out in this character.

Retentiveness
We are talking about a retentive attitude on both a mental and material level. It is observed in
collocationism or in clinging to someone, a memory or something that could end up missing or
needed in the future.

The feeling is that, given how little you have, you have to save to be self-sufficient later,
because it is not safe to rely on the outside world. This same retention has a psychic replica:
emotions and thoughts are stored.

Insensitive to the needs of others, the E5 conservation clings to what is in his mind, "stuck" in
his thoughts, at the expense of the world and the stimuli from outside.
He is pessimistic about the prospect of receiving care and protection or of having the power to
demand or take what he needs. The crazy idea is that if it is shown, it is lost.

The unshared relationship becomes rigid, and the unexpressed emotions become stagnant,
until the person is blocked. That's where the disconnection begins, because when he falls silent
and hides, it becomes difficult for him to recognize the needs and desires, which make them
non-existent.

"I cling to things because I turn them into my greatest treasures; they become a part of me, of
what I am; it's like they give me substance. I retain money, my emotions, my expressions, my
words, my knowledge, my books and all those objects that have great value for me." - Yashmir
H.

"For me, retention is above all not telling what happens to me. It costs me a lot and, when I do it,
I judge myself, as if it were a waste." - Camila L

If the withholding has to do with oneself, not giving falls back on Ueno in relationships, where he
feels he doesn't have much to contribute. In this fantasy that, by giving, he loses what little he
has, what does he lose? Freedom and autonomy? Hence his fear of commitment, which he
avoids since it would imply a debt that he does not feel capable of satisfying. It is better not to
have ties to anyone, to be completely free, without obstacles, in possession of the fullness of
oneself. Here reigns the rigid idea that the other is the source of a great demand that must be
fulfilled.
And if he manages to bond, in his neurotic way, since he doesn't know how to give, he doesn't
receive either; he is blocked: he neither receives help nor asks for it, nor does he believe in the
good things they tell him. He doesn't know how to set limits and, by not doing so, he gets lost
and exhausted. At this point the withdrawal begins.

"Not giving is for me a way of not giving myself, of not getting out of control and not taking
responsibility for the possible consequences. It is accompanied by a feeling of not having
enough, of not knowing enough, of not being prepared for life's situations. And giving what little I
have means being left with nothing, in the ford." - Leda O

"I have nothing good or valuable to give. My opinions, ideas, beliefs, experiences have no value
and cannot serve you. That is the profound idea, and when the other gives me something
positive back, I think: «It's a lie», «he says it out of pity», «to look good»." -Manuela R

Detachment
Detachment is a withdrawal. In order to keep what little he has and to feel "free," this character
has to go away. Neither does he need to relate, nor does he care. It is a detached but logical
attitude, since there is connection as if thinking: If the only way to hold on to what little I have is
to distance myself from others and their needs and wants, that's what I'll do. Deep down, it's
fear of the other's expectations, because you don't feel capable of fulfilling them.

Fear of being swallowed

It seems that this subtype is the one that has the most difficulty with limits; feel more present
being at the mercy of the other. He often feels used and abused, which confirms his
disappointment with the world and that it is not worth relating to. The rage that this provokes is
encapsulated, not the prey but manifests as retroflection: he blames himself for letting the other
come in and overwhelm him.

He replicates here the primary relationship with a suffocating caretaker, where the only recourse
left was to disappear. As an adult he will go through life protecting his private space to the
maximum, very susceptible to invasion.

Excessively docile
Hardy inside, docile on the outside, he rejects the world, which hurts him because deep down
there is a repressed need for love. High sensitivity to interference is associated with their
tendency to shut down in the face of external demands and the perceived needs of others. We
are talking about an over docility, by virtue of which this character too easily interferes with their
own spontaneity, with their preferences and with acting in a manner consistent with their needs
in the presence of others.

In light of this over docility (a by-product of that strong repressed need for love) we can
understand the particular emphasis on loneliness. To the extent that the relationship involves
alienation from one's own preferences and authentic expression, stress arises and the need to
recover, to find oneself again in solitude.
"My cousin was very important to me; I had a great time with her; but she was also someone
you had to please in everything if you wanted her to withdraw her presence and her word from
you. I had to be very careful not to make her angry, but her demands and her whims ended up
undermining our relationship.
Yashmir H.

"I stopped going out with a group of friends because I went where they wanted, when they
wanted. It bothered me, and the way to fix it was to go rejecting her proposals until, in the end,
no more came.
- Manuela R.

Self sufficiency
This is the attitude which lives as independence, even as freedom intellectual - that takes before
the fear of being swallowed and by its belief of being deprived, always exposed to the depletion
of resources without being able to count on the other. For this reason, it must be autonomous
and self-sufficient. He accumulates his resources in an ivory tower. Penny pincher, he is not
even allowed to use what he has, lest he run out.

In his imagination there is no possibility of asking for help. Such mistrust comes from the
primary relationship with his caregivers, who did not know how they would respond, whether
with indifference or with an overwhelming presence. This is where she learns to be self-
sufficient. This makes it a good problem solver, but the result is only enough for itself, since it is
fragile and of little quantity. He experiences great frustration when he feels that he is not
capable of supporting others; and there, again, the solution is withdrawal.

Despite self-support, his material life is usually precarious, because he doesn't need much
either. This is reflected in low-paid jobs where he values independence above all else.

Paradoxically, he can work a lot for lack of limits.

"There is a fantasy with autonomy or that feeling of being left alone. As a teenager I already
thought that I had to be completely autonomous in my thoughts, that nothing would influence me
and that, somehow, being away from more mundane matters would allow me to have more
freedom. It is a freedom of mind and time; a time just for me." - Camila L.

"I moved to another flat and there was furniture in the new one that I didn't want. I called an
NGO that recycles them, but after two or three weeks they weren't gone and I needed to empty
the flat, so I hired a company to take them away. When I mentioned it to my friends, they told
me why I hadn't called them, that they had come to help me disassemble the furniture. It's an
option that didn't even cross my mind." - Manuela R

Emotionally insensitive
The E5 conservation has sensitivity but is split from the body. Emotions are buried and nobody
knows about them. He «learned» with his caregiver figure that what happens to him is not
relevant and that if he shows emotions, it will cause discomfort, since they will alarm.

She becomes a serious girl, a serious boy, who may have had outbursts in adolescence, but
who for the most part seems cold and distant; or extremely docile and boring because he
doesn't show mood swings
Emotions can be very intense, and then you don't want to burden others with them; they seem
abysmal, and since he doesn't know what to do with them, he shuts off and freezes. Forgetting
how you feel can lead to apathy and a reduced ability to experience pleasure (anhedonia).

"I have been told that when something disturbs me, I put on a poker face; it is difficult to express
what happens to me, especially if they are emotions that can cause conflict, such as anger. My
ex-partner was struck by the fact that I was not passionate about anything or did not show
emotion or a more enthusiastic interest in something or things that he liked. I did not realize that
she was so inexpressive, because inside I can feel a lot of intensity." - Camila L

His reaction is similar when intense emotions come from outside: they stun and they confuse:

"My perception of emotions is confusing. There's a feel of the environment and the people
around, but they don't understand each other or meet words to define it, nor is it identified in the
same what it is. feeling. There is inability to deal with expressions of others: yes, they cry, it
seems like an exaggeration or a drama.
Rita P

Knowledge orientation
Knowledge as a space of abstraction becomes a safeguard before the world, a refuge of
security. It can also be a way of relating to the other, but as a mere spectator. It is an escape
route, which gives pleasure.

Unlike other subtypes, especially the social one, where the knowledge becomes a bastion, here
the observer of the world is in survival mode. It is to be prepared in front of a hostile and
inconstant world since knowledge brings order and analysis in the face of chaos. He indulges in
an "endless preparation" for life, through things such as reading, and he never feels ready
enough to hop into action. He prefers to classify and analyze information without going into the
streets; hence forming a preference of intellectualization over direct experience. In the mind
everything is safer, and he, fully free and autonomous.

"I am interested in knowing how things work, and I think I am coming to understand how life
works by getting out of it and placing myself as an observer. It is a place where I feel at peace.
Knowing allows me to have order in the mind and the order in the mind allows me to know. I am
also interested in topics that are very distant to me. I often withdraw so much to read or play
alone that this, only this, is my life."
- Marta F.
"I think that books can give me the answers I am looking for; explain to me what is happening to
me or how to overcome my clumsiness and obstacles. And although I have discovered that the
merely intellectual understanding of things is not enough, there are times when I see myself
again with that hope; especially when I am in crisis, I realize that I resort to reading looking for it
to tell me what to do with my life." - Yashmir H.

"In the world of knowledge, I feel safe, I know what the rules are, I'm good at it, I'm not
disoriented or lost like in the world real. I like to know anything, even if it is not of practical
interest; the like because something works. Knowledge is a pleasure. I studied Mathematics and
I found it exciting." - Manuela R.

Strangeness
Suppressing feelings and avoiding life impoverishes the experiences of the E5 conservation,
which suffers from an inner emptiness and can feel weak. There is a deep desolation, where
nothing touches, the absurd and nonsense. He describes it as dryness, aridity, and existential
desert because there is nothing.

This feeling of the living dead is due to the disconnection with the body and emotions. It is also
a feeling of strangeness that makes you feel lost, without an anchor and like a weirdo on the
planet. You don't feel like this world. In his rejection of life, he can seem like a lost soul; his
body, like a ghost, barely touches the ground. He feels closer to death, and this is how he
connects with self-devaluation and inferiority, feeling small, not deserving.

"I usually have the feeling that I am nothing, that I am worth nothing and that life does not run
through my veins, like being dead in life. And at the same time there is a lot of fantasy of being
the protagonist of life; But that's it, just fantasy."
Yashmir H.

"It's like it dries up, like nothing happens to me in life, because I live in my head. There is also
nothing to give because everything is gone. This feeling was very recurrent when I fell into a
depression a long time ago, where I felt like a zombie; I was worth nothing, I didn't exist, and my
problems really weren't important.
" _ Camila L

"The feeling of emptiness I feel like the aridity of the desert. The desire for knowledge, focusing
on knowing covers this feeling of emptiness that is so enormous, deep, and devastating." -
Manuela R

Guilty
Basically, it is guilt for existing, with that crazy idea of not deserving of life, as if it were
occupying a space that does not belong to it and its existence was a mistake.
It manifests as a vague sense of inferiority, a vulnerability to intimidation, and shyness. He will
always blame himself: for presence or absence, for saying or not saying, for appearing and for
disappearing. He withdraws love in response to a loveless external world, and in adopting that
detached indifference he feels guilty.

"Since I was a child, I was aware that I was not a very loving person, I did not feel great
affection towards my mother, rather I needed her to survive, and when compared to other
children I did not see myself as expressive; Realizing my inability to show affection made me
feel guilty. On other occasions, defending what I want, or desire has generated guilt in me, as if
I had no right" - Yashmir H.

"I experience too much guilty; a paralyzing guilt, where the feeling of inferiority always comes
from never feeling prepared. - Leda O.

Self-demanding
The conservation E5 is a perfectionist who identifies with a "loser." It also makes a demand
towards the world and the other, but underhanded. Deep down he is strict and severe, but he
does not show it more than in a passive-aggressive way, by withdrawing as a way of revenge
and punishment to a world that is not worth it; he is too meek and shy to express anger directly.
Self-demand is even seen in how you work or study, taking your energies to the limit by the idea
of never being fully prepared.

"I tend to be very demanding with myself and also with the other, especially those closest to me;
If I explain something, they should understand me easily."
Yashmir H.

"There is an internal dialogue. I am continually analyzing myself about what I did, what I did not
do, what I said, what I did not say, what I thought, what I did not think, AND comparing myself
with the ways of being of others. In this over analysis there is always a lack: I lack something."
- Camila L.

Negativity
The E5 conservation is an oppositionist and a rebel inside. His refusals are, again, passive-
aggressive because he is not confrontational. They manifest themselves through forgetfulness
because you can say "yes" when deep down it is "no". He "desires" not to do, not to give, what
he feels is expected of him. And he runs the risk of turning something he really wants to do into
a "should" that provokes internal rebellion.

The E5 conservation lives a life of constant denial of movement, activity, and vitality. Sometimes
the denial is made explicit but generally it takes the form of evasion. Just as he does not ask for
help, he is uncomfortable being told what to do: he will finally do what seems best to him or
what he already has stubbornly in mind
"I remember in late childhood and early adolescence saying "no" to everything, even before I
fully heard what they had to say. It was the only way I felt I could defend myself against the
pressures and demands of others. I even caught myself saving "no" to things I really wanted." -
Yashmir H.

"It bothers me a lot to be told what to do, especially by people who I think barely know me. An
inner voice says, "You are nobody to tell me what to do." And, in general, my tactic is to say yes
(as if I listened to them) and then do what I." - Manuela R.

Hypersensitive
Hypersensitivity is an introverted disposition, where he does not want to intervene in the world
and, in turn, the world intervenes greatly in him, who feels unprotected against environmental
stimuli. These stimuli, which arrive amplified, can be sensory or emotional: from the amount of
noise to the energetic quality of a human encounter. The emotional insensitivity of E5
conservation is a way of protecting itself against such overstimulation.

In situations involving pain, the suffering is so great that he prefers to withdraw and disconnect.
He feels weak and fragile and adopts emotional numbness. In the idea of "better not to have
been born", there is a desire not to intervene in the world, not to harm or interfere; get as far
away as possible. His most obvious manifestation of about care, sensitivity and compassion will
be towards nature and animals.

"Just as I'm numb, I'm hypersensitive: that's probably why I fall asleep. When I am in the middle
of nature, I would like to be able to move without disturbing, without harming any living being." -
Martha F

"I really feel things a lot, sometimes they affect me too much and I withdraw.

Before the world I sometimes feel transparent, translucent, without skin, without a protection
mechanism, and then everything hurts. I don't know how to react when things have a double
meaning or hide something. And if it's something I can't cope with, I'm out.
" - Camila L.

"I tend to be attentive to details, nuances of colors, tones; I get upset with sounds, noises, or
smells that other people don't even notice. I feel sorry if they speak in a way that I think is
aggressive. I avoid very tight hugs, they make me uncomfortable, I feel discomfort and even
pain.
"_ Rita P

"My sensitivity is on the surface. I perceive the aggressiveness in the tone of voice and manners
very clearly when the rest do not seem to be affected. And I do, a lot. She was with a friend and
two of her friends were added. My friend was explaining where she was going to go on vacation
and one of them asked me:
“What about your vacation?" It's not just that someone I don't know asked me about my
vacations but the imperative, abrupt tone with which he did it. He had a couple more sentences
like that (not directed at me) with the same tone. I decided to leave because I did not feel
comfortable with that person." - Manuela R.

Inconstant, with renunciation of action

There is in this character a postponement of action, which is characterized by passivity and
apathy: what to do. Nothing moves him and therefore he never acts.

This inaction can show inconstancy, even in his retreats; appears and disappears while implying
that he wants to be alone. The E5 conservation is quite unpredictable: it's there for a moment
and then it's gone. He is reliable (if he commits, he tries to keep it) but if he does not feel that he
is neglecting his responsibility to the group and prefers to do something else, he suddenly
vanishes, only to reappear later.

This appear/disappear proteets the confidentiality of the private world; not only of himself, but
also of the other. The E5 conservation can be extremely discreet and cautious as a way of not
harming and caring, not only for fear of being invaded, judged, or rejected. This reserved
attitude gives you the ability to keep secrets and be reliable.

This confidentiality also obeys the selfishness of the miser, who does not share what happens
to him, in his glass capsule.

"I only look at myself, at what happens to me. I can't see the other, I don't care what happens to
him."- Manuela R.

5. Emotionality and fantasy

"Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion." - Rumi

E5s are intellectually curious types who love to explore what interests them and spend a lot of
time on things that aren't practical. But even though they try so hard to think, they also harbor
powerful feelings. Of course, they make sure that what they communicate is well thought out,
and this makes them seem less emotional than they really are.

Even if they don't show it, they get frustrated with others and their own behavior and not being
comfortable expressing themselves frustrates them too. In many ways, they yearn for human
connection, but connecting requires building bridges across the moats they have dug to keep
themselves apart from others.

They are much more sensitive than they seem. Being a fear character, they tend to feel a
crippling anxiety that is usually only noticed by close family and friends. Behind his distant
exterior, he immersed himself in topics that he thoroughly enjoys. As a result, E5s have
intellectual areas of interest and deep understanding, of which they take pride. Conservation
E5s retain their knowledge just as they retain themselves. Hence, they are lone experts.

This character is not very expressive on an emotional level, to the point of appearing unaffected.
His access to the emotional world is conditioned by the defensive strategy of pathological
distancing, so that he «encapsulates» the emotions.

"Since I was a little girl, I had to hide my emotions a lot. If she expressed my anger, my mother
always laughed, and I felt embarrassed. She preferred to put up with it, to pretend that she
didn't have it, because since she couldn't find a way to protect me, it was better that she didn't
notice it in me." - Yashmir H.

E5s take it for granted that they have an inherent ability to theorize and understand things more
deeply than others, though they will never say so outright.

However, they are never "fully" present. They emotionally separate themselves from others to
avoid intrusions into their time and space and to invest more in their mental activities. They feel
that if they plan enough and they know enough, they can survive and even thrive, despite being
isolated.

This defensive mode of functioning is structured as a system, so that when the sensory stimulus
of emotion reaches the body, the organism registers an invasion AND enters a state of alert.
The E5 conservation activates the defensive measure of splitting and, while his body undergoes
the experience, the mind with which he identifies withdraws. That is the moment in which he
subjectively experiences a blackout and paralyzing anxiety, while externally experiencing an
emotional dilemma in the form of distance or opposition.

In the here and now, the answer to the question. What do I feel? It's usually:

“I don't feel anything. Emotion is thus stored as body memory and dissociated from the mental
context, as if the reptilian brain were partially disconnected from the mammalian brain and
neocortex. I have suffered the experience of violence (sadism). At that moment, an incorrect
association was created in my psyche between the concepts of violence and force force =
violence). Hence the fundamental refusal to express any kind of pushing and occupying
movement in the external world and the intention not to create any disturbance to others.”

But this way I deny myself the chance to live. Getting into the flow of life means expressing the
man I am, bringing the masculine energy of pushing and occupying space into the competitive
context of reality. But as long as there is no distinction between violence and force, this will not
be possible.

Force is the natural, healthy energy of the inner animal, while violence is the misguided use of
that force by man's misguided consciousness. But in the depths of that little boy who has had to
endure violence, the equation force = violence remains fixed. The real step is to enter fully into
that ancient pain to untie this knot, to accept that violence through the instruments of
compassion and forgiveness and, in that acceptance, to recognize one's own strength and give
a true direction to life.

In short, the difficulty is going beyond fear to accept violence and the feeling of vulnerability. But
the escape from all these risks leads to an internal state of strong anxiety AND compensatory
behaviors, obsessive-compulsive, dominated by a strong "resentment" towards the outside
world, with suppressed anger AND the risk that violent behavior is triggered - if the level of
internal pressure is such that it can no longer be contained." - Nicola B

In this way, this character cannot elaborate or give a meaning or a context to the emotional
experience, which remains available only as a fragmented memory.
"I have rage fantasies in which I imagine everything I would say to someone I'm angry with and I
don't dare. I let him know all the damage he has done to me and I want him to feel very bad.
" - Angelica A

"I will not be able to speak clearly about how I experience my emotionality until I am aware of
the emotion. Many times, I don't live it externally, but I carry it inside like a ticking time bomb." -
Leda O.
In fact, the emotional experience of E5 is such a hidden secret that it can rarely be revealed.

"I doubt whether it is that I don't feel, or it is that I am only incapable of expressing. When I
watch a movie, if I start to cry, I hold it back or need to hide.
There is a need not to show fragility in the presence of others. I have the idea that I should
appear impassive." - Rita P.

"The main emotions that are contacted (but not recognized or expressed) are related to the
invasive effect of the world. The (unexpressed) anger linked to injustice ("It is not fair that the
world is mean to me" serves to avoid feeling territorial impotence ("I cannot do anything against
the invasion of the outside world"). This, in turn, covers up self-devaluation ("I can't compete in
the world") and, therefore, resignation ("I can't do anything to change my condition") until
reaching a bottom of despair, linked to loneliness and the perception of that nothing in the
outside world can help me." - Nicola B

The deficit of connection with oneself is related to the lack of empathy, understood as the basic
ability to establish emotional connections. This aspect is a source of frustration for the E5
conservation, who perceives, in a mental way, reading the data of reality, that he lacks relational
skills. mind to know He usually makes a mental description of the emotions:

"I am very affected by what happens in the world. The hunger of the people, hunger in many
ways, not only physical, but moral, that of power." - Angelica A.
It is as if, to orient oneself in the world, the E5 conservation had deduction as its only strategy,
that is, the analysis of reality data, without being able to rely on information of an emotional-
intuitive nature
This type is always wary of people or things that come with "strings."

Because his instinctual center is weak, he fears "giving up his power."

"I get angry when someone doesn't listen (to me or to other people), especially when I say "no"
and keep insisting. I get angry when I get stood up without warning. I get angry when they want
to have my time without asking me.

Just because I get angry doesn't mean I express anger. I'm still afraid of uncontrolled rage.
Expressing my anger keeps connecting me to the belief that
"you have no right to express your anger and you will be punished for it."
Manuela R.

"My boss is unable to see what is happening in the institution. I can't trust him to make the best
decisions. He is only interested in being in power and does not see the needs of the students,
the gardens, the animals. He wanted to buy me a position to silence my thoughts and
accusations.
- Angelica A.

The E5 withdraws from external activity to feel in control of the situation, in order to navigate
from a position of strength. He separates what's important from what's irrelevant and has a
relentless focus on getting to the bottom of things.
"Intellectual curiosity about a subject is enough to make it mastery."

"When they ask me something, I already mentally reviewed the theories of various authors to
give an answer; one that I never give, because I don't want to seem like I'm more than the other
person, even though deep down I know I am.
Angelica A

Emotional deficit therefore guides mental activity to build theories to know reality. He imagines
scenarios to anticipate reality and trusts his opinion. He thinks that things will be under control if
he knows enough and that he can take charge of any matter as long as he plans it well enough.
He finally has delusions of grandeur that make him dream of what the world would be like if he
could set things up.

His fantasies are related to the construction of codifiable, intelligible worlds. where his point of
view becomes the only expert and competent on reality. He feels powerful knowing that the
others have not thought about things as deeply as he has or come to the degree of
understanding of him. But one thing is to create theories and another, very different. is to put
them into practice. This character has trouble with simple things that most can handle
spontaneously.
"I have catastrophic fantasies. When I propose something in the real world, I always imagine
how bad it could go. All the things that can go wrong I place in the worst-case scenario!" -
Angelica A.

The neurotic need to nullify the impact of emotional stimuli leads him to seek refuge in parallel
realities: the mentalization of the experience becomes an escape towards solitary activities that
represent, for this enneatype, the true reality.

"I feel that I live more internally, whether it is constantly thinking about anvthing or self-analyzing
myself to the point of exhaustion." - Camila L.

His fantasy is not fed by visions and images, but rather is declined in theories and reality coding
maps, with ethical complements. She is an omnipotent, pseudological, decontextualized, and
ineffective construction.

6. Childhood

Let us now turn to what the childhood of E5 conservation was like; what happened to a person
who ends up becoming a lonely defender of his space and saver of words.

Birth
His arrival in the world was not easy, due to complications that can be interpreted as not
wanting to be born.

"It seems that I did not decide to be born I had bent and pointed my elbow forward and it
seemed difficult to catch me given the position" - Martha F

"I was born about two weeks late and the delivery was very difficult (one day of labor). This
confirms my desire not to want to be born and how pleasant the womb must have been. There
was obstetric violence because I was in the breech position, they turned me around and took
me out with forceps. They tell me that I was left with spots and very swollen, like a boxer.
" - Camila L

"My mother always said that I was born late: she had gone out of her accounts and,
furthermore, it was a long delivery, almost a day. Did he not want to be born? She also often
reminded me of how much she suffered during childbirth and how much it hurt (she must have
been right about something because she had a detached womb)." - Manuela R.

"My mother had asked my father to be the one to receive me, since he had just graduated as a
gynecologist. According to her; he anesthetized her too much because he didn't want to see her
suffer, I came out of the womb and went back in, like this several times until my father realized
that the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. Then he put his hand between the cord
and my neck, and I finally managed to get out." - Yashmir H.
"A fall down the stairs put my mother's pregnancy at risk." - Michele C.

Beyond what people who recognize themselves in this childbirth subtype have suffered, the
most striking thing is the symbology of that moment as the difficult experience of going out into
the world and the desire to stay protected in a protective shelter, where survival is insured in its
basic elements. The world outside is too crowded, noisy, and violent.

Breast-feeding
In one of the baby's first experiences, breastfeeding, which is intended to promote intimacy and
bonding with the mother, the conservationist often encounters difficulties for her to satisfy the
newborn's hunger. With this inability to provide vital food, the mother's difficulty in satisfactorily
meeting the child's needs arises, and perhaps we can find here a trait of hostility and rejection,
consciously or unconsciously, towards the newcomer, which could lead the baby to the intuition
that, in order to survive, needs must be reduced to a minimum, or that the satisfaction of their
needs is not pleasant at all

"Mv mother could not breastfeed me: her milk was scarce and bad (so they told me). He made
one attempt before discovering that it was not possible and started using powdered milk. I know
they often forgot to feed me. Or my mother put salt in it instead of sugar, by mistake, of course.
With the result that I refused this strange-tasting food, while my mother, unaware of the mistake,
insisted on forcing the milk down my throat, because "his child does not eat anything." - Martha
F.

"My mother says that she always had the impression that her milk was very light, that it looked
like oatmeal. Apparently, this satisfied me, but for a short time.
Soon I asked for more and gave it to me, but she saw that it was not enough. So she opted for
powdered milk or to exchange daughters with her sister because, according to her, I was better
suited to my aunt's nipple and was satisfied for longer, while my cousin ate more comfortably
with her and did not. He asked for so much food." - Yashmir H.

These testimonies tell us about a cold breast, which can nurture but does not give warmth, of a
mother who does not know how to transmit her presence to her child or who puts physical
survival before the bond of love, as if love itself were not nourishment. Be that as it may, the
future child grows up with the conviction of having been inconvenient or uncomfortable for his
mother, a strange being, and that the best way to bond with her is distance, not complaining and
avoiding contact intimate. In this way, the mother's anxiety calms down, and the boy or girl
learns to live with little and to feed the belief that life is precarious.

Breast-feeding
The mother, the main caregiver and fundamental link with the world, is often described in the life
stories of the conservation as anxious, overprotective, invasive, unpredictable, manipulative and
frustrated; but above all as someone who does not protect, who is not tender and does not
inspire confidence or security, either because it fails to cover basic needs or because it does not
protect the child from external dangers, even going so far as to hold the infant responsible for
what it happens to him A mother who is herself the greatest threat to existence.

"My mother was unpredictable; I didn't know if when I approached, he was going to give me a
hug or hit me." - Manuela R.

"If I didn't eat something by noon, she'd bring it to me at dinner, and if I didn't eat it, she'd find it
the next day, and so on, until my mother decided (in her total unpredictability) that it was time to
eat. force things and put the food, whatever it was, in my mouth and push it down my throat to
make sure I could swallow it.

Not knowing when my mother would decide to use force, it was always a surprise. It was like
knowing I could choke to death on food, at his hands. To do the maneuver, he unexpectedly
took me from behind, so I learned to always be alert. My mother sometimes trembled violently
as she yelled at me how it hurt her to have such a daughter, that she didn't deserve my attitude
after all the sacrifices she had made for me and that, in any case, she could always kill me,
because I was hers." - Martha F.

"On vacation at sea, when I was five or six vears old, my mother put me in the waves with her. I
was afraid of the sea, I still didn't know how to swim, much less ride the waves. With the small
ones there was no problem, my mother jumped them with me, but if a big wave came, my
mother threw me in the air. I was rolled by the waves and thrown on the sand, that made me
angry, and I didn't go back in for the rest of the day. When I asked him why he did it, he told me:
«lt is better that one dies than that we both die», Obviously, I always thought that the one who
wanted him to die was me." - Yashmir H

"A teenage neighbor of about sixteen, when I was six, used to make sexual advances to me,
until there was some abuse, along with my brother: I told my mother and she told me that I had
asked for it, that I had gone behind. As if I knew." - Rita P.

"From my mother, apart from the humiliations, I remember the invasion. I used to fill my plate
forcing myself to finish everything, I lent my things to my
COUSIN" - Michael C.

With an invasive and dangerous mother, the boy or girl learns not to trust the love relationship
and to nurture a state of alert to protect himself from the same person who is raising him and
tells him that he loves him. Its only defense is the internal barrier so that at least the small inner
world is protected. A barrier that will remain erect to protect you from all your affective
relationships.

The father
Unlike the mother, the father is presented as an emotionally distant, absent, unknown, and
silent figure, about whom there seems to be little to say. Only one person mentions that his
father was violent.
Almost a stranger due to the scarce relationship, the father usually delegates the care of the
children to the mother.

"My father emotionally kept his distance, but at the same time he was so worried that it was
suffocating everyone." - Giovanna R

"My father was and is a very quiet and distant man, both emotionally and physically. It was he
who often took care of the practical part of the care, albeit from an abysmal distance." - Martha
F.

"I am the daughter of a more provider father and with few demonstrations of affection.”- Rita P.

"Mine was an absent father. I was rarely at home and, when I was, it was only physically;
emotionally, no. I talked to him, and he didn't talk to me tested. He was so absorbed in his own
world that he didn't even listen." - Manuela R.

"My mother divorced my father when I was one year old and he went to live in another country.
He sent things from time to time, until I didn't hear from him anymore. When I was fifteen, he
came back for a few days and left again. And so it was on a few more occasions, but he is
practically a stranger to me. And if I ask him about his life, he doesn't tell me much.” Yashmir H.

"My father, who worked nights, has been an almost completely unknown and absent figure,
except to continually point out to me that life is a burden."
Michael C.

The relationship between the parents

The paternal couple relationship is often seen to be devoid of love, warmth, and displays of
affection. The future child is conservation is immersed in a world of emotional coldness, which
does not allow him to access the experience of an affective relationship, which will later lead
him to not knowing how to relate to others.

"If we consider that their relationship was perceived to be devoid of love and warmth (no kisses,
no hugs), my characterological inability to understand what love is found fertile ground in the
family dynamics." - Nicola B.

The environment
The environment that surrounds the future child is not pleasant. It is usually loaded with tension,
fear, insecurity, distrust, and manipulation. Nor does he find who contains, waits, or protects
him; Rather, he feels abandoned to his fate, terribly vulnerable. It is to be safe from this intrusive
world, which can hit him at any moment and keeps him in a constant state of alert, leaving him
without energy other than to protect himself, that he chooses to isolate himself, get away from
people and go as unnoticed as possible
"Perceiving the dangerous external world dominated my life. I spent my childhood avoiding
others in a world that can invade you at any moment. The curiosity to explore the world was
completely neutered by fear." - Nicola B.

The climate at home was never pleasant, he did not laugh, he joked, he played. Sometimes it
seemed like there was hardly any air to breathe; everything
was paralyzed, motionless, silent. Wherever I was in the house, I always had the impression
that, at any moment, from behind or from anywhere, something or someone could come to hit
me and from time to time, in fact, my mother would." - Martha F.

"I suffered a lot if my mother left me at other children's houses or if she delayed going to look for
me because she thought that I would never see her again, that she would be forgotten and
abandoned, or even that something like death could happen to her. I remember that this made
me isolate myself because I stopped going to birthdays and getting together with children.

Sometimes I also did not understand the cruelty with which children were treated and I was not
interested in participating in their games, I felt more comfortable alone or with a friend." - Camila
L

Learn then the It is conservation to be still, to behave well, not to cause problems, to walk
without making noise, to breathe the minimum and to become invisible to safeguard your
existence.

"I learned this very early. The house, the family, and my relatives: none of this was certain;
therefore, better alone." - Martha F.

"I learned to be still and quiet as a way to protect myself; to prevent my mother from getting
angry with me or hitting me for anything. Also, as a way to go unnoticed and not bother mom,
who was so busy with her housework." - Manuela R.

"Moving from one place to another, I completely forgot about the people, about their faces. I felt
alone. I tried to take up as little space as possible, never asked for anything and rarely accepted
what was offered." - Michael C.

If the child manages to express his discomfort or frustration due to the situations experienced
through anger, the matter is minimized or they make fun of him, leaving a feeling of
helplessness in his body.
"There was a time, around the age of four; when I would have fits of rage. I remember it was a
feeling of frustration because my parents didn't pay attention to me and laughed at my
tantrums." - Camila L.

Feeling that he does not have enough strength to defend himself and that he does not have
anyone to defend him, he opts for non-defense as a way of not getting hurt, in the belief that
whoever does no harm and stays on the sidelines does not have to be hurt.
"Several times they took me to a psychologist because of my shyness. The first time was when I
was five years old because the teachers said that I didn't defend myself. At that time, I already
had the idea of not doing harm because the other could feel bad and I didn't want to feel guilty
because the other felt bad about something I did or said." - Camila L

"I have memories of not defending myself at school. A boy my age took the playdough from me,
and some older children, at recess, took my hat off. My reaction was passivity, doing nothing.
Feeling helpless and
scared and not knowing what to do."- Manuela R.

"At school, although I wanted to play, I didn't, because I realized that there were girls who were
too rough, and I felt that I couldn't handle it. That's why all recess I spent sitting talking with the
same old classmate who, like me, was not exposed to the pushes and rushes of the others." _
Yashmir H.

The silence
Despite everything, the child's desire to be seen persists, and he tries to get closer mainly to the
mother, or perhaps to some other adult, by telling what is happening to him, what he feels, what
he considers intimate.

But the mother discloses without any modesty what the son confides in her, or simply does not
believe what he tells her. Once again, the boy finds his trust betrayed. He then concludes that
talking about his things only brings him problems and he wraps himself in silence, the best
option to get ahead.

"I knew it was much better not to say anvthing or give anything about myself or my mother or
anyone, so I didn't speak. She was a very quiet girl, too quiet. The inability to speak, the
muteness, has found, so to speak, a fertile ground in the certainty of not being heard or
believed." - Martha F.

"She told other people about my intimacies and used what I had told her to hurt me when she
was angry with me. I learned to keep what happened to me, to keep it to myself, because telling
it was a source of pain. My way of protecting myself was to shut up. I can't trust even my
mother, who says she loves me so much... Sometimes my mother didn't believe me when I told
her something.” Manuela R.

"I told my mother things about me that caused me shame and I asked her to please not mention
it to anyone. But when I least thought, I realized that other members of the family knew about it.
I decided not to say anything to him anymore and tried to find other confidants, but I had the
same result." - Yashmir H.

Recognition
Apparently, one of the ways that conservation finds to be taken into account or arouse the
interest of parents or the environment is to be a good student or a child who behaves well and
does not cause problems.
"The only way I got recognition from my parents was to study and get good grades. My mother
was happv and proud of me, and it was one of the few occasions that my father turned to me to
congratulate me." - Manuela R.

"My somewhat autistic behavior was reinforced by my teachers, who always said that I was very
good because I didn't bother and also got good grades.
Lead O.

Study and books can become an excellent refuge, a table to cling to.

"I found refuge in reading. It was a safe hiding place, a little den to breathe, feed and feed the
shelter that was innermost." - Martha F.

The essential wound

To end this chapter, three stories will lead us to contact the essential wound of the future child.
It is conservation that, when faced with threatening experiences decides that the best way to
cope with life is to disappear and move away.

In the first story we find that the decision to become invisible stems from fear and helplessness,
but also from anger. Many times, the isolation of conservation involves revenge because, as
Claudio Naranjo says: «Separating yourself from people is equivalent to fighting against them. It
is as if, in the impossibility of expressing anger, the Is annihilated the other in his inner world."

"I have very clear the formation of my character. I am the eleventh daughter of a family of
thirteen siblings. My parents didn't see me. My refuge was my room.
Ever since I was little, I didn't like people very much. I felt like a weirdo.

My father was very violent. He hit my brothers for whatever reason. I felt scared and angry. My
mother, my brothers, did not defend them. I didn't feel strong enough to fight my father, until one
day, when I was inside my little room, I saw my father hitting one of my brothers. I got very
angry and made the decision to make myself invisible. I told myself: My father will never see
me, and he will never hit me in his life. I will look at the world from my window. So, I did." - Lead
O.
The story of a shock and incomprehension in the face of the violence received follows, which
leads the girl to split her body (which freezes) and withdraw to the internal world.

"My mother could suddenly appear, as if emerging from her abysmal distance at any moment,
and her actions were almost totally unpredictable, a harbinger of invasions both to give affection
(only in the ways and times dictated by her) and to punish.
It was not uncommon for my mother to come into the room where I slept at five in the morning,
uncover me, undress me, raise the blind and start screaming, accusing me of continuing to
sleep, then literally drag me and pulling me by the head and hair, to put me in the bathroom
under water that, given the conditions in which we lived, was really cold.

I well remember the impression I had the first time I understood this. I kept telling myself that I
didn't understand that I didn't understand, and it was like taking a big step back inside of me.

Withdraw inside, freezing everything else. I knew that if she wanted, she could kill me, that I
could die, that I was completely at her mercy and that taking refuge inside me was the only way
to save myself. He could do whatever he wanted, anvtime, and of course it would happen again,
but I'd save myself beforehand. totally disconnected from everything around me and outside of
me, I caught my breath in an invisible place inaccessible to everyone, a totally internal place." -
Martha F.

The one who perfectly describes the way in which he processed these experiences and moved
forward is R. D. Laing, in his book The Divided Self:

The normal individual, in a situation where everything he sees threatens his being and offers
him no real possibility of escape, falls into a schizoid state in trying to escape, if not physically
then at least mentally: he becomes a mental observer who watches with detachment and
impassiveness what his body is doing, or what is being done to his body. If this is so in the
"normal" subject, it is at least possible to suppose that the individual whose persistent way of
being-in-the-world has this divided nature is living in a world that is for him, though not for
others., a world that threatens his being on all sides, and from which there is no possible
escape. This is indeed the case with such people. For them the world is a prison without bars, a
concentration camp without barbed wire.

The paranoid has specific pursuers. Someone is against him... The person I am describing
feels, at this stage, persecuted by reality itself. The danger is represented by the world as it is,
and by other people as they are.

The self, then, by disembodying, seeks to transcend the world and, therefore, feel safe.

7. Person and Shadow: Destructive for Oneself and for Others

If by shadow we understand what the person hides and does not live on a conscious level, what
the E5 conservation has not developed, and hides unconsciously, is love and the desire to
belong. And also, a strong rage that, although it rarely manifests itself in a conspicuous way and
is more frequent in the form of silent revenge and withdrawal, lives in the fantasy as potentially
destructive, to the point of bordering on the possibility of turning him into a neutral murderer, nor
neither hot nor cold but killer in the end.
"One of the most destructive things is the murderer that I carry inside almost without realizing it.
I have been afraid of physical violence for a long time, perhaps because I sense that, if I let out
what I have inside, I could even kill." - Yashmir H.

It is common that, during childhood, the E5 conservation has had experiences of invasion at
various levels, which reach violence, and associates the experience of love with what should
have been love-with invasion. He finds himself catapulted here on Earth, knowing that love does
not exist and, if it did exist somewhere, it certainly would not be directed towards him.

This is reflected in not wanting to be born or not being able to stay alive (the living dead) and the
perennial impression of having been forcibly brought into this world, which is certainly not where
it should be. An exile.

"The feeling of heartbreak is reflected in not wanting to have been born, which translates both
into not wanting to live and into hatred and contempt for life."Camila L

"I have always felt that the universe was wrong to bring me to a world as cruel and ruthless as
this planet Earth is. Something happened that I fell here and not where I really should be." -
Yashmir H.

In what this character seems less developed, or almost totally underdeveloped, is love. An
empathetic incapacity that arises from not having felt the vital breath, the fullness of existence.
Deep in the background lies, almost forgotten, a hidden desire for belonging that cannot be
made explicit or have a space, a right to exist, and is systematically supplanted by dryness and
aridity, by the desert. Not having been able to experience any warmth, the consequent lack of
faith in life and in humanity leads him to an impassive and distant gaze, full of contempt. The
hidden and harmful consequences, to himself and to others, can be summed up in one word:
pettiness. A pettiness that manifests itself in a series of apparently invisible but undoubtedly
harmful behaviors.

"The most destructive thing I have is a very quiet revenge. I don't know how to confront the most
complicated situations of life facing the world, especially when it comes to relationships. I stop
trusting the other and enter a destructive silence that hurts us both. Giving up, not trusting that
things are worthwhile, is the most hidden side of me. Looking at the other and often at myself
with indifference is also something that hurts me." - Lead O.

Disinterest stands out in the behavior of this character. The vital horizon narrows so much that it
almost disappears and, with this, also the wish to participate.
"In the academy, for example, I don't know my colleagues, I don't share, I prefer to perform the
exercises in isolation, in high concentration.

There is a tendency to depreciate, to not value others, to be very self-oriented, to interact little."
- Rita R.
Others become a hindrance to loneliness, to that much sought-after isolation.
The Is conservation feels contempt for the other, whom however continues to see as "superior".
The relationship, of whatever kind, is not possible because the world asks for and takes away
too much and it is always better to withdraw. Desire is to walk without leaving a trace. It is still
an expression of extreme delicacy and sensitivity, but it also shows a not wanting to exist, not
being able to incarnate in a body. This attitude creates an internal and external distance that
over time becomes insurmountable and makes reality, the other, the others, more and more
unattainable.

This character thus creates a polarity: the others are annoying and objects of critical judgment,
and at the same time, unapproachable. This increases your internal experience of not being
enough, which again increases your distance from others, and withdrawal is now the only way.
At what price? At the price of life itself.

This becoming inaccessible is the wound that the person of this character causes in others,
without taking into account the insecurity that this attitude generates. Close people not only do
not get to know their inner world, but they have to maintain a relationship with it that does not
nourish them.

"I go through the world without leaving a trace. I can be in workshops groups, work... and be
physically alone, without saying anything about myself or what is really happening to me. In this
way, I myself am perpetuating my non-right to existence, since I go through places without
sharing myself and without creating a bond, reproducing the circle of isolation.

Another aspect of this concealment is that the other does not know me. I had a group of friends
who would give each other birthday gifts, and they would give me things that thought, "How can
they give me this (because it was horrible, or not practical, or something that didn't mean
anything to me). I remember a comment like: I didn't know what to buy you. I didn't understand
them, and internally I was angry because they weren't right. Now, I understand that I did not
release my garments on me, and they were lost. This fact of not sharing leaves the other sold." -
Manuela R.
The internal murderer we were talking about above manifests itself by killing the other,
pretending he didn't exist…

"For me, that person does not exist, internally I have killed him." - Manuela R.

...or taking the precise time for a "cold" revenge:

Once at work I asked a person from another team for a series of things I needed, and he gave
them to me late and wrong. I didn't know how to complain or say anything at that time. Two
years later we met again, the team I was on sent a file to theirs and them. They misprocessed
the information. We had a phone meeting to sort it out, and I was consciously serious and
harsh, telling him they were doing it wrong. The other seemed lost as to what they had to do
and I gave him the minimum information, just enough so that it would not be obvious that I did
not want to help him.
"And I do this under the guise of a girl who has never broken a plate.
Manuela R

More rarely this can also manifest itself in a warm way, taking action despite the fear it provokes
and the eventuality of violence. It is impossible for conservationists to feel strong because their
vision is distorted: force equals violence and invasion. As a result, he seeks to escape from
everything.

"I was once so exasperated by a cousin that, for the first and only time, I beat him to a pulp and
then suggested with threats that he not tell his sister: But since I had drawn blood in one of his
eyes, I withdrew guiltily." - Yashmir H.

"Instead of doing the usual thing (shut up), I answer: In those moments, not only do I not care
about the other or what happens to him, but I want to do him the more damage the better: My
aggression is verbal: I tell him things that can hurt him, and my tone automatically becomes very
harsh." - Manuela R.

It is the lack of awareness of one's own aggressiveness, which is part of the unknown and
undeveloped zone, that can cause harm to oneself and others. The basic inability to give love,
first to oneself and then to the other, is the point from which everything branches off: the
withdrawal; isolation; the inability to share, to say: "I am here, I exist"; lack of strength;
disinterest, the murder of one's own humanity and that of others. But perhaps, buried at the
bottom of this ivory tower, there is only a deep desire to belong, to live.

"Empathy is something I haven't developed. Although it is not so visible, I feel like warm water:
neither cold nor hot. Pass unnoticed. And I am incapable of sharing, of telling the world, at least
once in my life:
"Here I am, this is me." It is not about looking for a space. There is only a hidden desire to
belong." - Lead O.

It is difficult for the conservationist to empathize with the pain that the other feels when they
cannot belong to their world or be nourished by their love. If he becomes aware with a work of
self-knowledge of the damage he does to himself by being harsh, angry and distrustful in love,
then he also becomes aware of the damage he causes to the other by not letting him enter the
space of your own life and intimacy.

8. Love
The subject -and even more so, the experience of love for a conservation- is one of the most
distant and arduous that life can present. Coming from a past where maternal love was absent,
or was invasive and threatening, violent even, makes the equation of love = pain and is
convinced that it does not bring anything
good.

"If love is what my mother gave me, I don't want it." - Manuela R.
Along with this idea, two other convictions grow in him: that he does not deserve to be loved
and that, certainly, "there will never be anyone who loves me."

Fantasy plays a key role here, precisely because it is very difficult for this character, and often
impossible, to approach the other and have physical contact. It would be an invasion of the
body, a place as intimate as foreign and unknown, where it is difficult to set limits, and it is better
to avoid a priori for protection.
"It's hard for me to touch and be touched; I need too much intimacy and closeness to be able to
do it.
I was always given to fantasy, to platonic love.

It's hard for me to give myself because I don't know if I'll be able to meet certain expectations
and I don't know if I want to satisfy them either. I do not promise anything so as not to
disappoint. It is better not to commit myself. That's my crazv idea." - Camila L.
Believing in love, having faith in it, is almost impossible for an E5 conservation.

Conservation
"There is something impermanent in love. I spent a long time not believing in it, in its broadest
sense, and it's still hard for me. It is as if there were in me a disappointment or a state of
heartbreak. For me it is something distant, unattainable, forbidden." - Camila L.
That hypothetical love, if it were to appear, would assume an ideal value.

Cut off from life experience and reality, it can only be represented, thought of, as pure love,
immune to all humiliation or injury. This idealization obviously feeds back the distrust in a real
experience in which one can be loved. According to the extreme sensitivity of the person who
identifies with this character, "love cannot exist.

In Claudio Naranjo's trinitarian theory about the three psychic functions, father, mother and son,
associated with three different forms of love, admiring, compassionate and erotic, this character,
which is identified through and through with his intellect, is adheres to the principles of the
paternal subpersonality.

The maternal part, related to caring for the other, empathy and compassion, is totally devalued
and functionally exhausted due to a lack of interpersonal skills that go beyond the practical
aspects of provision.
The Es conservator very often performs care functions in the family but does not transmit a
warm affectivity or the pleasure of caring.

daughter part, that of Eros and animal satisfaction, is silenced, in fact, in a deadly retention of
the instinctive part. Eros is experienced within the defined framework of the sexual-amorous
relationship, but it is hardly detached from the passion of instinct.

In his Essays on the psychology of enneatypes, Naranjo associates the three types of love with
the nine characters and, in reference to the E5 conservation, speaks of a hierarchy: First, in all
the E5 admirative love predominates. And within the admirative triad: E1, E6 and E5, the latter
is the most erotic and the least compassionate. And already, among the subtypes of the Five,
the conservation one is the one most characterized by maternal love; although it is difficult for
people of this character to see it, since they experience themselves as stingy when it comes to
caring.

Admiring love is thus the terrain in which an E5 "moves best." Whether it's admiring nature,
intelligence, small things that are recognized as mysterious, music, art, science, or teachers.

We always speak of a love that recognizes something other than oneself that it considers
"beautiful." A form, if you will, of platonic love. A love from afar, a devotion.
The E5 relies on that love that allows the system to be fed internally without losing too many
resources. Admiring love is the safest because it shields the Five from any possible contact with
the real world while - paradoxically and neurotically - knowing becomes food in the midst of
desolation.

"The love of science, the admiration for scientific discoveries and for the scientists who carried
them out. Above all, because of that knowledge that meant a break with the prevailing thought. "
- Manuela R.
An admiring love for nature is possible.

"T have felt a lot of admiration for lost people, who feel comfortable surrounded by people, who
are the life of the party. And by nature. It is something very big that works by itself, it does not
need human intervention and it will continue to be when we humans are already there." -
Manuela R

Wherever, through personal history, a form of religiosity is found, it will take the form of admiring
love.
"I didn't like God that much because he was too demanding, but Jesus was on a more suitable
level for me. I could admire omnipotence, wisdom, and miracles, but at the same time I protect
myself from being asked so much in return." - Yashmir H.

As for erotic love, its experience is always one of great difficulty. The recognition and approach
to this form of love are very gradual and slow and require a safe place and great intimacy. An
intimacy that, in this character, is connected to the idea of danger, so his mind is always alert,
avoiding total abandonment and maintaining the safety zone.

"Eros? I don't know if it was that word. Does it have to do with pleasure? That is also difficult. I
live half muffled; things seem normal or neutral. There is not much enthusiasm, ecstasy." - Rita
P.

Even in this field there is still the impression of being a foreigner, of not being able to identify
with anything:
"I do not identify with the gender roles assigned or described. I have always had the fantasy of a
world where those differences do not exist" - Camila L.

The Five lives the experience of a frozen body, immobile, unable to move, not even imagine
moving.
"Pleasure and instinct have been something repressed, which was not even aware that it
existed until well into adulthood. I find it hard to relax and enjoy.
Manuela R.

On the other hand, understanding erotic love as the child's pleasure, as play, it is possible for
him to find an access route and recover a deeply buried pleasure, perhaps forgotten.

As can be deduced from so many testimonies, the main access door to the real change of the
E5 is the body.

This, remaining partially accessible to experience, is the seat of erotic love and can act as a
bridge for the reactivation of pleasure.

The body is present as a channel and gives access to sensory sources; maintains an
involuntary relationship between the person and his environment. The Is conservation is aware
of this relationship, which his mind registers as invasion by overstimulation, and reacts by
tending to contain it.

The progressive familiarity with the body signals supports the work of transformation, and the
sensory information can be accepted as a signal of connection with one's own resting
dimension.

"Connecting with desire has cost me a lot. It's like I had no right to wish."
Manuela R.

The starting point is to recognize the lack of the right to desire as a logical and inevitable
consequence of the inability to feel the right to exist. Erotic love is essential to give yourself this
right to exist and reconnect with your own organismic energy. The love of the Son, in the sense
that I seek my pleasure more than the
pleasure of others." - Yashmir H.

In the experience of sexuality, it is possible to find a certain pleasure in physical contact, in skin-
to-skin contact, in receiving and giving massages, and in touch itself. However, a hidden point
remains: the deep encounter with the other; an encounter in which you can lose yourself freely,
in a complete abandonment to feeling, an authentic "touch"; It can be about orgasm, but it is not
limited to it. It is about being present and surrendering to the encounter when it is impossible for
the Five to fully incarnate.
"I like the contact that sex implies, but my brain intervenes too much, and I have never been
able to let myself go, nor give myself to orgasm.

I consider myself frigid. For a long time, this didn't bother me, but it's starting to."- Yashmir H.
In the Five, compassionate love-linked to maternal love goes from being mysterious to seem
incomprehensible. In the specific case of the conservation subtype, having never experienced
that love, it is not possible for him to learn it.

You have no tool, no foothold or key to open that door.

The "danger" of the relationship is also triggered here: The other asks me for something that I
certainly do not have, or if I do have it, it is so scarce that I cannot deprive myself of it without
putting my survival at risk; therefore I will not be able to give him anything, and this also makes
me inadequate, so I remain immobile and, if I cannot really escape, I take refuge inside myself
and what remains visible is a total and real indifference, a desolate dryness.

"The love that costs me the most is definitely maternal love. I have never known what to do in
front of someone to comfort, or who needs my care. I just don't know how to move in this area,
where I feel totally inadequate. I don't know what I can offer someone if I don’t feel capable of
fine and tender feelings and
instead I feel cold and in a certain way indifferent to their suffering, if I can't even contact the
person in front of me. I realize how the person in question expects something from me and, not
being able to give him what he wants, I feel awkward and demanded and I'm just trying to
escape from something that really conflicts me."_ Yashmir H.

We see here the problematic knot of contact from which he thinks he has to flee. However,
some, especially women It is conservation, live a dichotomy between the family mandate and
the withdrawal of contact.

"In relation to this love, I have moved between two contradictory forces: the introject of caring for
and caring for the other and isolating myself from contact.
If there is constant demand from the other party, then I get overwhelmed and I do not give.
There is something that I don't give to just anyone; I choose who I
give to." - Manuela R.

There are those who recognize the ability to empathize with the suffering of others (which could
lead to a rapprochement or, at least, to a warmer understanding of the other), but at the same
time they are unable to show that sensitivity and even more so to offer it.

"I feel a hypersensitivity that gives me empathy towards the other who suffers. However, I have
a hard time showing it and giving; I think it can be invasive. Nor do I show it by protecting
myself, because there are situations that affect me too much, in which I withdraw again.

Where I manifest it most openly is in nature. My dislike for the world most of the time makes me
have more compassion for animals." - Camila L.
In the narrow and petty life of E5 conservation, the openness of the heart seems
insurmountable. To access this dimension, it is necessary to recover body awareness, a certain
carnality and a movement that generates a heat that awakens and feeds the emotion that, in a
virtuous circle, guides a loving and affective movement, and possibly erotic, healthy, and wise.
This cirele could eventually lead to a differentiated quality of admiring love which, in this warmer
form, becomes a nurturing gift to the other, in the surprising discovery that giving is precisely
what can be received.

As a consequence of what has been written above, in E5 conservation the couple's relationship
barely finds space. At the moment of his choice or in the possible encounter, he is blind to the
real other. There may be a phantasmatic you but there is no attention to the other in their reality.
The Five conservation does not look at the other. Many times, he does not realize that he is the
object of someone's interest, nor is he capable of expressing his interest in someone who will
never find out, because what this character does is run away.

"I took a trip abroad and took language classes for a month. When I returned to my city, I found
among the notebooks a message from a boy, who invited me to the park. Never, while I was
there, had I seen the paper. I was puzzled." - Yashmir H.

9. Historical figures: Baruch Spinoza and Robert Crumb

Context
Baruch Spinoza was born on November 24, 1632, in the Jewish quarter of Vlooienburg, in
Amsterdam, from a family of Sephardic merchants who, during the persecution of the Spanish
Inquisition, went into exile in Portugal. The Sephardim were Marranos: Jews forced to convert
who in public life professed Catholicism but within the family they continued to practice,
clandestinely, Judaism. Some of them, like the Spinoza family, emigrated to the Netherlands, to
openly practice Judaism again.

Spinoza is born and dies in the midst of wars: the first takes his family to new lands (the Eighty
Years' War or War of Flanders, 1568-1648) and the last has just shaped his political and ethical
thought (Franco-Dutch War)., 1672-1678). We are facing a family history of persecution, exile,
rejection and alienation, components that could be translated in an individual as isolation,
disengagement and lack of belonging. Although these feelings accompanied Spinoza, he was
able not to be dejected by them, channeling them through his thinking.

There is not much history of Spinoza's life, and even less of his childhood, due to the discretion
of his community and the solitary life he adopted.

At the age of seven, he entered the Hebrew school, the Talmud Torah, where he remained until
he was eighteen. There he learned Hebrew, non-Spanish that was spoken within the Jewish
community, the Old Testament, the Talmud, the Kabbalah, some ancient Jewish philosophers
and business studies. At the same time, between the ages of ten and fourteen, he began to
work in the family business, where he learns Dutch and Flemish. Added to this is his mother
tongue, Portuguese, which was spoken in the family.

Very soon he sees illness and death up close:

At the age of six, his mother, Ana Débora, dies of lung disease; in his adolescence his older
brothers, Miriam and Isaac die; and towards the age of twenty-two, his stepmother Raquel and
his father Miguel died;4 it was then that, together with his brother Gabriel, he took charge of the
family business of import and export (and loans to arms dealers), including its considerable
debts.

Spinoza was not a great businessman, but he did what he had to: he worked, he paid his bills,
he collected his clients, he went to the gay synagogue, he followed the rules of the community.
This suggests an automatism with schizoid traits: comply only to get out of duty quickly; assume
burdens with resignation and imperturbability, simply because life is like that.

Expulsion and freedom

Under the influence of his father, who questioned many beliefs, Spinoza questions the rituals of
religion, superstition, and hypocrisy.

Already as a young student, who knows the Old Testament in Hebrew by heart, "he disagrees
with his teachers; he does not admit the medieval life of the Jews, nor the religious and social
phenomena of their past»; «he was clearly petulant and his wit sometimes annoyed his
teachers».6 Likewise, he was a promise within the community for being a man of integrity and
pious.

Spinoza questions the Judaic vision of a God in the likeness of man, of being a chosen people.
He found faith in miracles untenable because it went against natural laws in part of the group of
advanced studies on Judaism of the most liberal rabbi, Menasseh Ben Israel (1604-1657).

He maintains exchanges with non-Jewish friends, such as Dutch liberal-Catholics, Quakers, and
Mennonites from the world of commerce.

Around the age of twenty, he became a disciple of Francis Van den Enden, a former Jesuit,
freethinker, doctor, polyglot, Belgian poet and philosopher, who was executed in France in 1674
for his atheist and republican ideas, with whom he learned Latin, Greek, rational philosophy,
theology, medicine, science, mathematics, history and politics. Spinoza now openly expresses
his thoughts, and the Jewish community begins to react.

Although the name Baruch or Benedictus means 'blessed', Spinoza was cursed for his
community. The authorities of the Jewish court, the Muhammad, offered him money to back
down, but Spinoza did not give in. In this way, on July 27, 1656, at the age of twenty-three, he
was excommunicated for his ideas on the identification of God with Nature, the immortality of
the soul, the origin of the Holy Scriptures, and the role of the State». «No one could approach
him, nor read his writings. All the curses of the Law fell on him»; "For all practical purposes,
Baruch de Spinoza had ceased to exist. It was just a ghost, something less than a shadow".

He then changes his Hebrew name Baruch

De Espinosa to Benedictus (Latin) or Bento (Portuguese) De Spinoza. He donates his
inheritance to his brothers, keeping only his parents' bed where he was conceived, and both
died. It was a ledikant, a bed with a canopy and four columns, «a warm and isolated island that
he always carried with him, until he too died on it.

He was one of the philosophers who fought the most for freedom of expression and religious
tolerance." The anathema was a liberation for Spinoza, which allowed him to quietly dedicate
himself to philosophy; it was the ideal for his character. He believes that the freedom implies
getting away from everything and everyone, because being with others is confusing,
overwhelming and it is easy to get lost, while alone, on the other hand, it is easier to concentrate
and thought has no limits. Although there may be fear of rejection, this it can be triggered
unconsciously to achieve full independence: "The high need for autonomy is an understandable
result of abandoning relationships. […] the individual needs to be able to get on without external
aids."

According to the French philosopher Gilles Deleuze, Spinoza is condemned with the greatest
severity "because he rejected penance and sought a break on his own. […] instead of penance,
Spinoza wrote an Apology to justify his departure from the Synagogue."? It is a sign of his
desire to break with everything, even to free himself from the burden of having to be a merchant
and provider According to González, 18 Spinoza emerges with the family economic crisis and
the expulsion from his community, something that can be glimpsed in his Treatise on the reform
of understanding, written in 1661:

I certainly saw the advantages that honors, and riches procure us and I also saw that it was
necessary to renounce them if I wanted to give myself seriously to this new purpose. I came to
the conclusion that even if the supreme Happiness consisted in the honors and the acquisition
of Money, Sensuality and Glory only constitute obstacles when they are sought for themselves
and not as means to other ends.
Typical E5 traits such as self-exclusion, rejection, isolation, and pathological detachment are
evident in Spinoza. The expulsion from the synagogue is the starting point of the return home.

Hell has already lived it; now is the way out.

Part of his hell was the schizoid trait of being torn between his family life as a Jewish merchant
and the freethinking philosopher.

Spinoza was torn by the split between his daytime, exoteric, merchant life (even enriching
himself indirectly from the forced labor of slaves) and his nocturnal, esoteric life of the spirit.
Spinoza considers that leading a merchant's life is a "great obstacle", since Money was an
uncertain (false) good. "The Wise lack riches, not because they cannot obtain them, but
because they do not want them." (González, 2013, p. 11, citing Letter XLIV, Spinoza, 1671).
Being rejected by his community, detachment is transmuted into virtue, since he decides to
detach himself and liberate himself for a greater good, which will be beatitude. To earn a living,
he dedicates himself to the job of polishing lenses for microscopes and telescopes.

Spinoza does not break with the religious milieu without breaking in turn with the economic one
and abandons his father's business. He learns the carving of crystals, he becomes a craftsman,
a philosopher-craftsman equipped with a suitable manual trade to grasp and follow the
orientation of the optical laws.

He worked and meditated in silence for endless hours. [..] Spinoza polished and thought,
worked the glass, and gave shape to his ideas. He molded them and also polished them until he
gave his philosophical system the balance and transparency of a diamond.

This office would have accelerated the death of the philosopher.

Out to the world

The daughters of his tutor, Van den Enden, the freethinker who believed in free love, tutored the
students. The eldest, Clara María, was Spinoza's Latin tutor, who fell in love with this woman
who "knew ancient and modern languages, was a poet, a student of philosophy and
mathematics" (Delahanty, 2005, p. 120). Spinoza wanted to marry Clara Maria, but she got
engaged to Kerkering, a German medical student who was a fellow student of Spinoza.

Clara Maria is the only known love in Spinoza's life. Although the biographer Margaret Gullan-
Whur4 proposes the hypothesis of a homosexual relationship with her friend, the merchant
Simon De Vries. De Vries wished to bequeath his fortune to him, but Spinoza refused; in the
end they agreed that he would receive a pension of 300 guilders from 1667.

There is no proof of relationships with women. Perhaps because of the herem or Jewish ban: no
one could approach him. With the Calvinists it was also difficult because their religious rules did
not accept marriages with Jews.

In any case, Spinoza had something asexual which is typical of E5 conservation, perhaps due
to an intellectual wandering, and even romantic, but if sex is not there, it is not important either.
Here is a manifestation of the distance from the life of someone who does not understand the
codes of courtship well either; signs must be clear and distinct.

Spinoza has a great thirst for knowledge and discovers that his passion is writing and thinking;
he had a library with one hundred and sixty volumes. Despite his circle of friends, he doesn't
commit to any of them. If he did, he would lose the freedom to be himself and discover his own
thinking.

Although conservation seems to be the deepest thing in the philosopher -reflected in his
relationship with commerce and money and as a family provider, as opposed to the desire for a
den as the ultimate goal, his second instinct, the social one. It helps you get out into the world.
He does not do it through the sexual instinct, but through the circle of friends and acquaintances
with whom he shares intellectual and philosophical interests.

Rinsburg, 1661-1663
In 1660, Spinoza was the victim of an assassination attempt at the hands of a religious fanatic.
Some sources say that only his cape was torn, which he kept reminding himself that "thought is
not always loved by men." friends.

What defines Spinoza as a traveler is not the distances he travels but his ability to frequent
furnished pensions, his absence of ties, of possessions and properties after his renunciation of
the paternal succession».

In Rijnsburg he stays with his friend, Herman Homan, a chemist, and surgeon of the Protestant
Arminian sect, persecuted by the Calvinist official church: «It is possible that Spinoza sought a
'retreat' in the small community; a refuge in the style of the mystics." There, in a back room, he
set up his workshop to polish
lenses.

Here begins his most prolific correspondence, which extends until 1676, a year before his
death. Judging by the tone of his correspondence, he was more benevolent with simple people
and less patient with his equals.

Apparently, he could put up with modest fools with ease, but not the other kind." Five-character
traits are seen in his cards, such as communication from the intellect, secrecy of the more
private elements, and of his emotions. little patience with those who should understand him, and
greater benevolence with those who do not.

The only known correspondence where he reveals his feelings is an epistolary exchange from
1664 with his friend Pieter Balling, who wrote to him following the death of his young son.
Balling tells him that he had had a precognitive dream.

Spinoza is affected and shares a dream of his own with a leprous-looking slave from Brazil.
Although Spinoza analyzes his dream, he is not clear with his regret; seems disconnected.
However, he does know how to interpret the feelings of his friend, confidant, and empath.
According to González, in this episode Spinoza's unconscious was seized by the guilt of the
slavery of his time as a merchant; a subject that he never dealt with explicitly in his political
writings.

In this period, he also wrote the aforementioned Treatise on the reform of the understanding
(1661), a posthumous and incomplete work, but substantial for understanding his philosophy.
The beginning of his writing means a spiritual path and self-transformation.
The work is mainly the exhibition of meditations, where philosophy is applied through a precise
method to achieve true knowledge of Nature and, therefore, of the human being. This leads him
to the writing of his Ethics, which transfers the philosopher to a dimension of internal work.

Completed in Voorburg in 1675, despite the fact that he tries to publish it, it will appear only
posthumously, due to the risk that his ideas about God entailed.

Voorburg, 1664-1669
In 1664, Spinoza moved to Voorburg, a suburb of The Hague, where he lived until 1669, in the
house of the painter Daniel Tydeman. In 1665 he began to write the Theological-Political
Treatise, where he wondered why the human being is so irrational that he is proud of his own
slavery as if it were freedom, and why a religion-Calvinism, in this case that invokes the inspired
love was the war The book is published anonymously, but soon it will be known that its author is
Spinoza, who is again forced to leave, settling in The Hague.

In 1669, Adrian Koerbagh (1663-1669), a Dutch scholar and writer who was a friend of Spinoza,
wrote a Spinoza-style philosophical dictionary, for which he was arrested and executed.

It is thanks to his closeness to De Witt that Spinoza manages to escape safely. Koerbagh's
conviction and death affected Spinoza deeply, not only because of the personal loss, but
because they signaled the end of tolerance and freedom in the Netherlands.

The Theological-Political Treatise places Spinoza as one of the founding philosophers of

Modernity. It shows his ability to get involved in a cause and his effervescence in the face of
injustice.

Baruch was certainly a quiet and sick man, but he never sank into absolute isolation. His
philosophy dealt with God but did not completely forget men.

The End: The Hague, 1670-1677

In the year 1672 the De Witt brothers, of the Dutch republican party, are assassinated. Spinoza
takes their side and writes a violent pamphlet called The Last Barbarians. They say that he
himself intended to paste the pamphlets on the walls but managed to be dissuaded by friends
and locked up by Van der Spijk. They surely saved his life.

It is a constant in Spinoza to reject and be rejected by a community versus defending his own
principles. Despite living life or death situations, he seemed a prudent and cautious man; even
his signature always ended with the Latin word Caute!

Spinoza had told us that every man should think what he wants and say what he thinks, but not
so fast, not yet. Be careful. Watch what you say (and write)."

There is in the Five character, especially in the conservation character, a lot of care and
hypersensitivity in the treatment and the way of expressing oneself. On the one hand, before the
idea of harming and being harmed. And, on the other, in the conviction of maintaining a cordial
treatment because there is no need to harm or be aggressive. Difficulty with aggressiveness
and giving yourself space in the world is latent. A human being who goes through life feeling
that something is wrong inside you can build a fantasy where everything you do it will harm; and
if he does, he can get himself damaged and then die.

"Men are enemies by nature. My enemy is the one Thave the most to fear and from whom I
must guard give me more."

Much of what is thought is kept secret, to go unnoticed. The invisibility and secrecy confers
mystery to the E5 conservation, with its fragile appearance and, nevertheless, a stubbornness
with its convictions, which it will maintain internally even if it does not manifest them.

Such characteristics in Spinoza are made explicit in his refusal of offers that go against his
principles or hinder his freedom. Like when, in 1673, he rejected a chair at Heidelberg, to which
he was recommended by the philosopher Gottfried Leibniz. He was offered a full annual salary
and guaranteed absolute freedom of thought, as long as he did not abuse it 'to disturb the
publicly established religion'. Spinoza weighed the offer very seriously, for about six weeks,
before declining it with a polite letter to the intermediary.

This letter shows Spinoza's determination to maintain his independence and freedom, even at
the cost of giving up material security that he lacked. A snippet is worth quoting:

I think, first of all, that I will stop promoting philosophy if I want to dedicate myself to the
education of the youth. I also think that I do not know within what limits this freedom to
philosophize must be maintained, if I do not want to give the impression of disturbing the
publicly established religion; because the divisions do not arise so much from the burning love
of religion as well as the diversity of human passions or the desire for contradiction, with which
all things are often distorted and condemned, even if they are said correctly. And as I have
already experienced when I led a private and solitary life, much more will be to be feared if I rise
to this degree of dignity.

Spinoza leads a peaceful domestic life in The Hague and is interested in people, despite his
introverted character, receiving multiple visits, when, in the winter of 1676-1677, his health
begins to fail. His doctor, Dr. Schuller, predicts death and the philosopher prepares himself,
examining his material, burning some writings, such as an incipient translation of the Bible into
Dutch.
Spinoza will be buried in the New Christian Church of Spuy, where a new curse fell on him, that
of the Protestant preacher Arolus Teumann, who had the following inscription placed on his
tombstone, which he prayed for years:

He despises Spinoza's Benedictus, to his grave. Here lies Spinoza. If his word cannot be
buried, then may the plague of the soul never completely devour him. [.] He has never seen the
most horrible monster hell.
This kind man was hated by many, his works were banned, he had to publish anonymously and
falsify data from his publishing places to protect his life.

In Romanticism his conception of nature resurfaced. Today he has become one of the most
beloved philosophers for his philosophy of lasting happiness and joy. According to Russell,
Spinoza

"is the noblest and kindest of the great philosophers. Intellectually, some have surpassed him,
but ethically he is supreme" (p. 218).

Habits and character

Spinoza had an unusual way of thinking among his contemporaries. Being a withdrawn man,
who liked solitude, he was characterized by a kind and considerate treatment. He retired early
and led a frugal life, with no possessions other than his bed. He spent hours secluded in his
room, writing, reading or polishing glasses, spending three months without leaving the room to
solve a philosophical problem. He led a quiet life in which passions did not dominate any
situation; Spinoza did not oscillate between happiness and sadness or anger, but always stayed
very close to the center.

Everything indicates that he applied in his life the norms that he recommended in the Ethics.!

He wrote at night, by candlelight, the thoughts elaborated during the day. After a process of
incessant reflection, he would go down to the dining room to talk to the other guests, indulgently
and casually, smoking a pipe and occasionally drinking a beer.

With her slender, graceful body, long face, somewhat sallow and pale white complexion, sad
black eyes, and fragile health, she needed little from life, like a typical E5 conservation.

Spinoza represents the sorcerer who shares secrets with only a few: «He entrusts himself to a
group of friends [and] invites them to keep their ideas secret, to distrust foreigners»; «Spinoza
was the center of that fabric of almost secret relationships that met to talk about science and to
read the new philosophy of Descartes».

The philosopher lives an intellectual love towards God manifested in almost mystical
experiences of fusion with the Universe, which are reflected in his ethical thought and in his
knowledge of the world through the essence of things (entities). This is precisely what the
enneagram of Holy Ideas refers to when it speaks of the Holy Omniscience and Holy
Transparency of enneatype 5. Here, the parts are a network that make up a whole. It is not
isolated, but there is a deep link between the different elements that make up nature, the
universe, the cosmos, or God. This experience allows us to be omniscient, to see clearly and
distinctly; to observe everything as it appears without judgment, that is, with transparency:
"When we understand it, we are totally at peace with our past." This is what Spinoza's phrase
sub specie acternitatis refers to,
'under the aspect of the eternal.'
Love and kindness make a polarity in Spinoza with rage, which manifests itself openly as
indignation at political injustice. Trait 5 anger and indignation can turn into suppressed rage and
contempt for existence. Behind that exterior, neutral and almost ghostly temper of the schizoid
lies a lot of disconnected passion, which Spinoza knew how to channel through denunciation
and iron ideas.

This is the secret side of Spinoza. Behind that calm, withdrawn, unapproachable and courteous
man, a combative personality struggled to come to light.

Throughout his life there are symptoms of a passion that overwhelmed him and threatened to
consume him: the adjectives he uses to disqualify his intellectual adversaries frequently amount
to insult; his contempt for common people; the things he said about the rabbis and Kabbalah
scholars. However, he always tried to control that subterranean violence and to live according to
the ideas of Ethics, seeking imperturbability and self-sufficiency.

In Delahanty's interpretation, the search for loneliness and isolation were a consequence of
being orphaned early.

There is in the fundamental wound of E5 conservation a rejection of life, of existence; there is

no desire. The cave is the human archetype of the darkest place: If there is light, only shadows
can be seen that can deceive; however, it can be shelter and shelter like a womb; It is life and
death at the same time.

Damasio wonders how Spinoza could have been a happy and satisfied guy, considering that his
life lacked the elements we associate with satisfaction: riches, health, and honors. One answer
is that self-knowledge is activated when the experience of death, suffering, smallness, and
finitude is strongest. «Spinoza was happy. His frugality was not a tactic. He was not playing an
example of sacrifice for posterity. His life and his philosophy probably merged around the ripe
old age of thirty-three." Spinoza understands that affections are natural to human beings,
starting from a self-knowledge of one's own emotions, where they come from and of what their
mechanics are, accepting them as they are. That is the foundation of this man's health.

The small and the large, the invisible and the visible
"Remind yourself that you only live a tiny part of the life of all of nature. You are part of an
immense context." - Jostein Gaarder Spinoza's thought makes clear the smallness of the
human being before Nature, which has an order; a system where everything works perfectly,
which in Spinoza's philosophy is equated with God ("Deus sive Natura" /"God or Nature">).

Nature has no judgment, it goes beyond right and wrong, good and evil; it just manifests.

And human beings are just a tiny part of that great gear. Spinoza's simple natural philosophy
approaches the Greek idea of eudaimo nía, the good demon: understanding one's own demons
and coexisting with them allows for a state of wellbeing and bliss.
To obtain freedom, understanding must be polished, in order to think autonomously and for
oneself and not become a slave to an ideological system. «Spinoza wanted to make himself a
free man [.] carrying out his thoughts to the end and linking all the elements together».

To this end, humility, chastity, and frugality are necessary, no longer as mutilators of life, but as
virtues that embrace and penetrate it. Spinoza did not believe in hope; he only believed in joy,
and vision. He let others live as long as they let him live.

Precisely one of the most obvious features of E5 is the yearning for freedom and autonomy.

The only way to safeguard against a world interpreted as voracious is to hide within oneself,
since it is the only place where one is not reached and one is free, without the demands of the
outside world.

«Spinoza built a thought of serenity and happiness. For Russell, it makes sense that a person
who has suffered and lost everything should have the consolation that they are only a small and
invisible part. It can be added that, through loss and suffering, that deep contact with pain in the
darkness of the cave, one is able to detach oneself from the ties, the beliefs, the labels, the
masks. Nothing is so important anymore, in a good way; you are just another passenger.

Robert Crumb
Robert Crumb is considered by many to be the greatest American cartoonist of all time. The
<father of underground comics> created counterculture icons such as Fritz the Cat, Mr. Natural
or Devil Girl.

His name was a strange foreshadowing of the character he was to develop. Crumb in English
means 'crumbs', which refers to a personality that is content with eating little, keeps the
leftovers, expects nothing.

He was born in Philadelphia on August 30, 1943, the son of Charles V. Crumb, combat
illustrator twenty years in the Marine Corps, physically and verbally abusive, and a Catholic
mother, Beatrice, a housewife, probably manic-depressive, who reportedly abused diet pills and
amphetamines. The marriage was unhappy, and the children were frequent witnesses to their
parents' arguments.

Crumb himself succinctly describes his family of origin.

My parents came from very different cultures. My father was a farmer from Minnesota.

My mother grew up in a working-class neighborhood in Philadelphia. [.] The Crumbs of

Minnesota were fairly successful farmers. They worked hard and were very straight, strict,
puritanical, respectable. It would be unthinkable for them to be dishonest, lie or cheat in their
business dealings. My mother's family was more or less the opposite: urban, a bit lumpen,
dissolute, alcoholics, degenerates, sexual oddities...All that.
They were both Catholics, but although neither was very religious, they sent our children to
Catholic school, and we attended church regularly. They tried to be middle class people.

Honor, duty and responsibility were what my father had. had ceased to be farmer and had
joined the army. He liked military life. It was elemental, simple, life or death. Postwar America
was disconcerting to him.

Culturally, my parents didn't get it. My father watched the fights and baseball on TV, read the
newspaper and nothing else. My mother was an indiscriminate reader of cheap film, romance,
and detective magazines.

They never read a book. When my father came home to Philadelphia in 1947 after the war, it
was very traumatic for me. I didn't like him. He was very strict and harsh with us and had a
violent character. We were all afraid of him. My father used to say that he could easily kill a man
with his bare hands. He was a trained assassin. His hot head would burst at any moment.

When I was five years old, at Christmas, something happened. He unloaded his fury on me and
scratched my collarbone.

The father liked the discipline of the Catholic schools and the severity with which the nuns
treated the children. Robert lived with a deep fear of God and typical Catholic guilt until the
threshold of puberty.

Actually, I tried really hard to be a good boy. He had a strong Catholic guilt. At fifteen I was a
very repressed boy, and then when puberty hit me, I was shocked: suddenly my sexual libido
woke up with demonic intensity. Not know what to do. I couldn't deal with that at all. I became
obsessed with girls.

Already at an early age he shows his tendency to passivity, renunciation and detachment, and
another typical character trait: taking things too, too seriously...

All my cousins were tough, smart farmers. They made fun of me because I walked around with
my teddy bear. Well, at ten years old I was already a bit eccentric, and I just accepted that: I
was "weird. I could even say that I liked being weird. I didn't know what was going on or what
was going on. He was passive, maudlin, and lazy.

Robert was anything but popular in high school and felt alienated, treated like an outcast. He
took refuge first in the Catholic doctrine and then in intellectualism to sustain that feeling of
superiority that, although more accentuated in the other subtypes of the Es, is also present in
the conservation one. As he himself says, in one of his comic strips:

This childlike devotion to Catholic doctrine and practice gave me a smug moral superiority over
other boys boys were one thing, girls were another...distant, remote, another world!) Later, after
having abandoned the church in favor of intellectualism, I had a new reason to feel superior.
It is the typical oscillation of this character between feeling like the lowest scum in the world and
being gifted. In an interview, Dien explains this polarity:
I had this screwed up ego: on the one hand the narcissist (I'm this great artist) and on the other
hand: I'm completely inept.. The "I leave my mark on this earth as a great artist" as strong as the
negative self-image same.

Intellectualism distanced him from the real world and from his peers, whose judgment, despite
his somewhat snobbish attitude, conditioned him to the point of being afraid of them. As he
himself describes in a strip: "I had a deep and powerful reflex FEAR!!!".

And so, he confesses:

In my early teens, I was traumatized by my unsuccessful attempt to participate in the vicious

world of teenagers. I was shattered. I retired to my room. I stayed home and dedicated myself
more to my art. I felt so painfully isolated that I swore I would take revenge on the world by
becoming a famous cartoonist. I was very determined. At fourteen, he had already gone through
the pain of adolescent alienation. I realized that he was a freak and that he wasn't going to
make it with girls.

In this way he evokes that time in 1994:

When I was thirteen and fourteen, I tried to be a normal teenager; but I was an idiot. He looked
to act as he thought they did. It was weird, so I let it be and became a shadow; I wasn't…

People didn't even realize that I was in the same world as them. That freed me from the
pressure to be normal.

And, in a BBC report scripted by himself:

There may be something wrong with me. [...]
Sometimes I think I have a deep genetic defect, some kind of mutation … …..7 I didn't turn out
normal. [..7 That's why I have all this resentment and contempt. Self-hatred is a motivating force
in my work.

I was so out of it, so alienated when I was young, that drawing was like my only connection to
society.

And adds his second wife, Aline:

When I met him, he never spoke, he just drew. He was catatonic, his only voice was his pencil.
My mother thought he was retarded when she met him.
He is more comfortable with people he has always known. [...I He becomes a bit more
communicative, but still shuts up. It doesn't sound very natural conversing with someone you
don't know well.

Crumb's personality was deeply wounded not only in his family, but also in high school where,
totally Unpopular, he developed a fixation on women with powerful thighs. One of the few
pleasures of the male characters in his comics (many of them directly or indirectly
autobiographical) is to straddle the beautiful buttocks of girlfriends, a literally autobiographical
practice that Crumb repeated several times in public.

Many of the regular characters in his cartoons are inspired by people he hated or missed from
his high school years, and it could be said that his work is, in large part, an elaborate revenge,
something very therapeutic for a character who introjects anger and resentment.

He is fine when he makes fun of himself, another characteristic of E5 Conservation, in a series

of strips that present him devoted to masturbation, revealing what lies behind his halo of
intellectual superiority, and the consequent guilt:

An inordinate part of my waking hours were spent like all those ignorant young men to whom I
felt so superior: fantasizing about sex! The possibility that I was just like everyone else in this
regard never even crossed my mind... I also didn't worry that I used most of my creative
energies for masturbation scenarios... They were my own original and unique creations ….. But
I was not, nor have I ever been, proud of this... On the contrary: immediately after cumming I
experienced strong feelings of shame and self-loathing.

It is not infrequent that it opens in the shell, apparently so dry, cold and impenetrable of the It is
conservation, the way to a peculiar tenderness and sensitivity of which it is an unsuspected
bearer, once the adequate vein is found. For Crumb, it was listening to old music.

Back in school I couldn't understand why girls liked those rough guys and I didn't... I was more
sensitive and nicer; more like them... I felt hurt and cruelly misunderstood. He didn't think that
those things mattered, he gave importance to what was inside.

This sensitive part, usually well buried under the impenetrable iron curtain with which this
character isolates his inner world, sometimes emerges, without fuss, with the most beloved. His
brother Charles was the person he was closest to and who influenced him the most. He loved
comics and together they wrote many of the strips that Bob made as a child. A friend was with
him when his mother phoned him with the news of Charles's suicide: "He acted like he didn't
care, but then I listened to him all night. He went up to his study and was walking here and there
until dawn.

In his interviews and public appearances, he is almost always smiling and irreverent with fate,
as if to say, "Wow, my family is weird and crazy, isn't that funny?" It is as if he were laughing so
as not to cry. There is a moment in the aforementioned documentary when, talking about his
father, he sinks into a deep silence, and we can see how that endless sea of sadness that he
carries inside materializes on his face.

After high school, Robert spent a depressing year at home, mostly drawing, and talking
endlessly about the meaning of life with Charles, who never left the house.

While still working at a greeting card company, Bob began drawing for Harvey Kurtzman's Help,
which he had been a huge fan of for years. Kurtzman was one of the few "greats" who gave him
sound advice on work, women, and life in general.

He once told me, "You should keep doing your own thing. Don't be anyone's helper: You are too
eccentric and individualistic.

Advice that points to these two traits seems to hit the nail on the head. The E5 Conservation is
highly individualistic and distrustful.

Better alone than in bad company" could be his motto, and in his deep mistrust he always feels
"bad company" and prefers to do things alone.

He is so used to, hurt and disgusted by the continuous invasions of his "castle", of his living
space, by people who seem well-intentioned and then exploit him, betray him, usurp ideas,
making other people's merits their own, that it is very unlikely that be open to collaboration,
except when you feel great esteem and admiration. Taking into account that, of the three loves
of Claudio Naranjo, the admiring one is the least atrophied, the most accessible to Five
conservation. To which must be added his misanthropy and his difficulty in perceiving himself as
part of a whole, of something greater. In 1964, Crumb marries Dana Morgan and soon enters in
that feeling of oppression and that impulse to escape, to free yourself from all ties, to owe
nothing to anyone, without obligations of any kind.
Of course, the guilt comes... and a son, Jesse.

I met a lonely alienated fat woman and next thing I knew I was married. She was as desperate
as I was; the only thing we had in common was our desperation.

I was trying to run away from my marriage, my job, and a value system that was unbearable for
me. I had just turned twenty-one when Dana and I got married, and six weeks into our long
honeymoon in Europe I began to feel trapped. And to ask myself: "Is this it? Is this my life until I
get old and retire? That's why I ran away from home in January 1967 to join the hippies; a much
more exciting prospect. I was good at running away; he was one of my main talents as a young
man.

This character finds it difficult to assume the responsibilities of age.

That same night. "Hey, do you have room for one more?" I asked them. Yes of course! Come
with us!" So I jumped from the working world of Cleve land to the hippy mecca of San Francisco,
with the clothes I was wearing and the money I had in my pocket. I just wanted my freedom...
and to share in that free love that was talked about in the Midwest. I was selfish, I admit it. I
treated women like toys. I played with their emotions as with their bodies!

Claudio Naranjo used to say that, for certain types of character, therapy does not work or can
only go so far. To go further, to break down hermetic and impenetrable personality structures,
dynamite is needed! And Robert found her at a time and place where it was hard not to, even
for such a strange and unsociable young man.

I started taking LSD in Cleveland in June '65. Acid was never easy for me: horrible nightmarish
experiences and wonderful cosmic experiences, like the ups and downs of a roller coaster: I
couldn't understand people who took acid to have a good time or to have sex.

It was my road from Damascus! It altered my way of drawing and why I drew. I stopped drawing
from life. I lost concentration. It freed me from my ego for a short time. All my drawing came
from within, a miraculous inner vision. It was the freest my subconscious has ever been in my
life.

The characters' heads were getting smaller and smaller; and their feet were getting bigger and
bigger! It symbolized my state of egolessness. It was all so silly and so deliberately
unintellectual…

In 1967 he moved to San Francisco, but the psychedelic experiences and the emerging
underground scene did not change his feelings of loneliness and exclusion and his inability to
flow, to integrate into a culture of which, ironically, he would soon become an icon.. Why?
Crumb himself asks himself this question in a kind of manifesto of the cosmic pessimism of E5
conservation, with its absolutely negative vision of the world.

I have a huge ego and must resist the urge to present myself as a know-it-all. Some of the
images in my work are scary because I am a timid and pessimistic person. I see the predatory
nature of the universe, which can kill you easily and quickly, no matter how well you take care of
yourself.

I am a very negative person, and always have been. Reality disgusts me, horrifies me and
scares me. I cling desperately to the few things that give me any comfort, that make me feel
good. I hate most of what passes for civilization. I hate the modern world. For starters, there are
too many people. I hate the hordes, the crowds in your cities, with all their hateful vehicles, their
noise, their constant coming and going meaninglessly. I hate cars. I hate modern architecture.
All buildings built after 1955 should be torn down.

I hate modern popular music. There are no words to express how his phony, pretentious, cocky
assertiveness gets on my nerves. I hate having to deal with money, one of the most hateful
inventions of the human race. I hate the mercantilist culture, in which everything is bought and
sold. I hate the mass media and the passivity with which people submit to them.
I hate having to get up in the morning and face another day of this madness. I hate having to
eat, shit, maintain the body... I hate my body.

I hate all the empty, false and banal talk that goes on between people. Sometimes 1 feel
suffocated and want to run away. For me, being human is, for the most part, hating who I am.

When I suddenly realize that I am one of them, I want to scream in horror.

Success and popularity come soon, very soon, a circumstance that, together with the
character's difficulty in setting limits and the complete absence of social skills, brings many
difficulties to Crumb's life.
I had no idea how to handle my new position in society. The truth is, I'm still at it.

I didn't want to become the cross-culture greeting card artist. It was then that I began to unleash
all my perverse sexual fantasies. It was the only way to stop being "America's most beloved
hippie cartoonist." And it worked. Snatch and Big Ass Comics got most of me out of the way in
no time!

It's really radical; he does not compromise with this sick society and pushes his ideal of "purity"
to self-destructive limits. They offered him a hundred thousand dollars to participate in Saturday
Night Live, only as a first number, and he rejected them in two seconds:

Forget it, I'm not going to Saturday Night Live. The Rolling Stones also wanted me for an album
cover...a couple of offers like that; I said no.

After a year of recognition and all that fame bullshit, I said to myself: "Fuck you!", and I began to
draw my dark side, everything that I had always hidden.

We can say that he takes advantage of success, but not in the way one would expect, but rather
to give free rein to his resentment towards humanity, to his cynicism:

I started bringing more and more of the darker side of myself into my comics just to be like,
'Okay; Now that they love me, let's see if they can handle this." That's when I did those
offensive grotesque sex comics.

At the time, he manifests that characteristic addiction to work and the ability to disconnect from
everything else, including basic and biological needs, when a conservationist is involved in
something that motivates him.

His weakness and inability to set limits comes to the fore when his first wife, Dana, signs the
television rights contract for Fritz the cat with Steven Krantz and collects $10,000 on the spot.

Suddenly it seemed like the lawyers were speaking for me and the guys were arguing about
percentages and contracts and all of that made me pretty queasy, but I thought, "Wow, I must
be really cool, if they think I'm a fizzy freak." That was my problem: I swallowed it, I believed
them, they were all my friends, they were going to help me, they loved me... I don't know; how to
know that they were going to swallow me and spit out?
In 1973 he divorced this first wife and moved in with Aline, with whom he had a daughter,
Sophie, in 1981.

This change seemed to give him a sense of

responsibility and 'the jump' into adulthood. Sexuality and the relationship with the feminine is,
as we have been saying, a source of obsessions, compulsions and problems, with repeated
accusations of machismo, sexism, misogyny, perversion, racism…

In one of his strips, he confesses:

At twenty I was a perverted weirdo, obsessed with sick and twisted sexual fantasies that had
nothing to do with reality. The reality was that he hadn't kissed a girl yet. He was a desperate
man.

Yes, I guess I'm macho. I've tried to make myself aware, God knows. I have the recurring vision
that I am standing before a tribunal of feminists, who are demanding that I answer for my
exploitation of women in my cartoons, and the only answer I have is that I am telling a truth
about myself, for better or for worse. wrong... The bitter irony is that, despite all the feminist
awareness, most women are still attracted to the powerful and dominant alpha male, and that is
not the kind of man I am at all. I'm still basically a shy wimp.

Although not all women participate in this «crucifixion» of the «ogre» Crumb. The journalist
Stella McCartney, of Another Magazine, says:

Some call him macho, but when you meet him, you realize that his view of women has to do
with his insecurities: he is totally amazed. I like the way he looks at human nature and magnifies
it.

With other socially "hot" topics, Crumb also lives in his artistic expression a "compulsion to
reveal", as he defines it in a video interview for the Louisiana Channel.

All of this is deeply ingrained in our culture and in our collective subconscious and must be
confronted. It's in me. It is in everyone.

Some say the way I play with it is too rough.

That hurts people's feelings. I guess so. Some feel personally attacked. A perverse part of me
likes to carry all that.

I'm not sure my artwork is exactly antisocial, but I have a compulsion to reveal the truth about
myself for better or worse, I don't know why [...7
And there emerges a normally very buried part of this character: the rogue, the playful.
[…..] I just have to expose myself in my artwork. I can give it this noble tint and say that I want to
reveal the truth... maybe it's just for fun.

Like telling your old aunt a dirty joke and seeing how offended she gets.

Of complications, including legal ones, this «compulsion to reveal» has brought him quite a few.
One of his sisters even sent him Robert, asking for compensation of 400 dollars a month, for his
«crimes against women».

Its scant emotional connection allows the E5 conservation to see reality naked and raw, just as
it is, and to represent it objectively, without fear of any kind, in a ruthless, true way, not
sweetened and softened as usual.

Making use of a character capacity, Crumb makes a lucid and ruthless criticism of our society.

When they educate you on those kinds of extreme religious ideas about Heaven and Hell and
all that stuff... it's kind of brain damage. I didn't start to question it until I became something of a
social outcast as a teenager.

Then you start to look at the world in a different way, you question everything! There are so
many hidden assumptions in any culture that you keep digging, and you don't stop digging…

You realize that humans have a lot of trouble with the truth. There are so many layers of
deception and illusion... Different types of lies: political, religious, economic, moral..

In Zwigoff's film, Aline reveals, "He's more of a brain in a jar than a person in a body... And he
never takes his shirt off... He likes not to exist." To which is added the firstborn son, Jesse, who
would die as a result of a car accident in 2018: "Sometimes I feel the need to express affection
to the old man, put my arm around him, or shake his hand, or approach somehow, He does not
know".

10. Literary and Cinematic examples

Meursault
Mom died today. Or maybe yesterday. I do not know. I received a telegram from the nursing
home: "Your mother passed away. Burial tomorrow. Heartfelt condolences." But it doesn't mean
anything. Maybe it was yesterday.

This is how The Foreigner begins, bringing with it the distance, loneliness and desert aridity that
run through each of the pages of the novel. It is the silent story of Meursault, a simple office
worker who lives in Algiers, leads his life with total indifference towards himself and towards the
world, observing the development of events from the window of his house, and that one day, for
no apparent reason, killing an Arab. After his arrest, he only remains "faithful" to an almost
exasperated realism, he accepts all the consequences of his gesture (trial and sentence to
death) without any defense, in a disarming strangeness.

As soon as he receives the telegram of his mother's death, the dryness of the environment and
of Meursault's life becomes evident. The slightest emotion seems to be remotely present as he
arrives at the asylum where his mother lies. His emotional world is and absent. After falling
asleep on the bus, "when I woke up, I was leaning against a soldier who smiled at me and
asked if I was coming from far away. I said "yes" so I wouldn't have to talk anymore.

The director of the hospice shows him his understanding for having hospitalized the mother,
given the economic impossibility of supporting her, while he remains distant and oblivious.
There is continually an internal description of what is happening outside, in the world around
him, as if Meursault were watching events unfold from a faraway place inside. «The director
spoke to me yet. But I hardly listened to him.»

They "invite" him to see his mother's body, but he replies, "No." "Why?" asks the doorman,
without really asking. "I do not know." Thus ends the discussion, with a mysterious "I
understand' from the concierge. The wake continues in tremendous desolation. When her
mother's friends enter, and the description is indicative of her way of seeing, being and
perceiving reality, which is never emotionally warm:

I saw them as I have never seen anyone before, and not a detail of their faces or costumes
escaped me. However; I did not hear them, and it was hard for me to believe in their realitv. /
...7 It struck me not to see the eyes in the faces, but only a dull glow in the middle of a nest of
wrinkles.

In the funeral procession, the cypresses, the fields or the hearse, glossy, oblong and shiny,
reminded him of a pencil, which gave rise to unexpected feelings.

Through the lines of cypresses that brought the hills closer to the sky, through that reddish and
green land, through those houses, few and well-drawn, I understood my mother: The afternoon,
in this region, must have been like a melancholy truce. Today, the overflowing sun that made
the landscape shake, turned it inh man and depressing.

From the beginning there is constant reference to the elements of nature and the influence they
have on their behavior.

I was a little lost between the blue and white sky and the monotony of those colors: viscous
black from the open tar; opaque black from the clothes, shiny black from the car. All this, the
sun, the smell of leather and manure from the car; the smell of paint and incense, and the
fatigue of a sleepless night, disturbed my eyes and ideas.

To the point that, later on, he will make a "no decision" it will be fatal. It almost seems that
nature is the onlv one that allows Meursault to approach something like a sen, a solitary man
who tends to isolation, who half fear. It's about he doesn't have friends, maybe he does have
co-workers, but they don't show up. At the funeral, the detachment of a simple witness of his
own life becomes evident. He is a detached observer, certainly very keen, who prefers to
understand life rather than live it.

On Sunday, after returning home from her mother's funeral, she sits looking out her bedroom
window: the cobblestones, the trams, the sky that incessantly changes color and density, the
families... And he decides to go to the sea, where he meets Maria, with whom he spends the
day and night. Everything happens as if you were standing and the decisions rained down on
you: you just stand in the middle of them and watch them.

Meursault will never mourn the death of his mother; only on a couple of occasions does he tell
us: "At that moment I thought of my mother."

A bunch of characters revolve around Meursault, including an old man with a mangy dog for
whom he only reserves blows and insults. The old man, who goes by the name of Salamano,
will lose his animal, with whom, after the death of his wife, he had established a relationship of
affection, albeit violent; he is sad, without hope of finding him. He lives across the street from
Meursault who, when he hears him sob at night over the loss of his dog, thinks of his mother.
And I learned that because of the strange and slight noise that crossed the partition, I was
crying. I don't know why I thought of mom. But I had to get up early the next day. I wasn't hungry
and I went to bed without dinner."

A key character is Raimundo Sintes, who lives in the same building. He is known as a pimp
although he says he works as a warehouse keeper.

The protagonist does not care about rumors. "In general, he is unloved. But he talks to me often
and sometimes he comes into my room for a moment because I listen to him. I find what you
say interesting.

On the other hand, I have no reason not to talk to you." This strange neighbor asks you the
favor of writing a letter on his behalf to a woman: "He wanted to ask me about this matter […1
that I could help him and that he would be my comrade. I didn't say anything, and he asked me
if I wanted to be his comrade. I said I was indifferent. Insensitivity becomes evident; her lover
will ask her several times if she loves her:

Maria came looking for me in the afternoon and asked me if I wanted to marry her. I said that I
was indifferent and that we could do it if I wanted to. Then she wanted to know if he loved her: I
answered as I had done before: that it didn't mean anything, and I certainly didn't love her:

Meursault is totally unaware of his emotions, which are as if they are isolated from his
experience. We are not talking here about the suppression of a feeling which can then erupt in
an explosion or the like. In reality, it is about ignoring this emotional world, not having the tools
that allow its recognition and expression.
This trait is associated with the need to be autonomous. Paradoxically, by saying yes to
marriage to Maria it might seem that he is putting himself in a situation that is anything but
autonomous. Instead, he is even more independent because he can maintain an even greater
emotional distance by making himself practically incomprehensible and, above all, elusive.

There is also a good dose of sincerity in the face of the inability to set limits and say yes and no;
something that could have responded to the wedding proposal, for example.

He doesn't lie at most he could be even more explicit when he says he doesn't love the girl.

However, at the moment when he finds himself in front of the question, he cannot help but say
how things really are for him. The question is already invasive in itself: he had already answered
it once and he doesn't understand why he has to answer it again. So, he answers, and his
sidereal distance is contained in the choice of words, tone and laconism.

He will even prefer, at a key moment, to walk along a beach in the sun without feeling well, to
return "with the women", who talk and ask questions. It is really too much for him, something
unbearable, and the only limit he can set is to "back off": he leaves, silently.

Paradoxically, if on the one hand he is insensitive, on the other he accuses a hypersensitivity to

invasions, to intrusions. which is not only an expression of detachment but also of an excessive
dedication that necessarily makes him withdrawn.

With his new friend, Raimundo, Meursault generally feels comfortable, even thinking, after
testifying on his behalf in a complaint of assault on a woman: "I discovered that he loved me."
This sentence makes explicit a kind of naivety that will lead him to not allow him, with so much
isolation, to see how Raimundo is taking advantage of him, of his dedication. This good faith to
put the murder for the one who will pay with his death. In fact, Raimundo invites him and Maria
to a house by the sea, warning Meursault that the brother of the woman he had assaulted is
following him, along with other Arabs, to beat him up. During the day, the group hangs out on
the beach, eating and chatting. The men go out for a walk on the beach right after lunch, with
the sun overhead. Meursault suffers a lot with him and with the heat. «I didn't think of anything
because I was half drowsy with so much sun on my bare head.» They meet the group of Arabs
who, after a brief scuffle in which Raymond is slightly injured, flee.
Raimundo carried a pistol with him, without his friend knowing it and, when they meet the two
Arabs again, when Raimundo asks if he should shoot the Moor or not, Meursault tells him not to
use it, to confront him as a man To put the weapon away and use it just in case the Arab looked
at us without lowering our eyes and everything stopped here between the sea, the sand and
sun, the double silence of the flute and the water. I thought at that moment that you could shoot
or not shoot and that it didn't matter.»'3 It doesn't go any further. The two return to the house.
Meursault stays outside.
"The heat was such that it was painful for me even to stand motionless in the blinding rain that
fell from the sky. Stay here or leave, it didn't matter. After a moment I went back to the beach
and began to walk.» 4 He is overwhelmed by events and the only thing he is looking for is a
refuge, his refuge, which he does not have there and then he must, necessarily, find another,
perhaps the little fountain of water where there was silence, shade and solitude. There he could
rest and regain his strength. Actually, he can't go into the house, it would be too tiring, and the
thought of having to climb the steps tires him. You cannot enter the shadow of the house
because there are the people who ask, who want; it is necessary to find an isolated place. It is
for him, in a very obvious way, a matter of survival.”

However, when he reaches the fountain, he finds the Arab, who freezes, literally motionless.
The Moor puts his hand in his pocket where he has the knife and suddenly- Meursault does the
same where he still has Raimundo's revolver.
Would it be possible for you to go back? No, because behind there is the scorching beach. That
excessive heat, to which he cannot react in any way, and which puts him in contact with his
body, with a very strong bodily sensation, sometimes violent, in any case excessive for him. A
sensation that he cannot sustain, being habitually detached from his body, at such a delicate
moment, in which he almost reached his refuge. The Arab rage when he takes out the knife and
the reflection of the sun on the blade, hitting him in the eyes, are experienced by the protagonist
as the greatest invasion. There is a depersonalization of Arabic: it is the light reflected on the
page that invades it and this is the classic drop that fill the glass All you can do is shoot. Simply.
«The burning of the sun reached my cheeks, and I felt the beads of sweat gather on my
eyebrows. It was the same sun as the day I had buried my mother and, like then, my forehead
hurt most of all and all the veins together under my skin.»

The forehead can be seen symbolically as the mind; it is the network of thoughts, which is short-
circuited the moment a feeling arises, so that it is no longer possible to analyze,
consider...Something apparently greater than him surpasses him. "The fiery sword gnawed at
my eyebrows and pierced my sore eyes. It was then that everything faltered." The 'sword
pierces' in Meursault; a full-blown invasion. Then comes an even more distant and cold
description, if possible, of the Arab's murder. First one shot and then four more. His words
reveal the defense mechanism: it is as if it had happened to another, something of the least
importance to him; it hermetically isolates the emotional content of the traumatic event from the
intellectual, thereby losing its meaning, removing it from consciousness.

This automatic survival mechanism

withdraws you into yourself in order to "manage" what happened:

It seemed to me that the sky was opening wide to let fire. My whole being relaxed and I
clenched my hand on the revolver. The trigger gave way, I touched the polished belly of the
stock and it was there, in that deafening, dry raining noise, that it all began. [...]I understood that
I had destroyed the balance of the day, the exceptional silence of a beach where I had been
happy. So I fired four more times at an inert body where the bullets sank unnoticed. And it was
like four dry knocks that I gave on the door of misfortune."
Since it is a death by firearm, the blood is not spilled; this one too is dry and barren, like the
burning beach. Symbolically, he seems to want to highlight the interior desert of the character,
the total absence of emotional humidity, the distance. The only color that is present, apart from
the hot sun, so hot that it is not even identified as a color but is simply light, is the reflection on
the leaf. Again a cold, rigid, impassive element.

This mechanism is what will condemn him to death; at least, that's what it seems. The trial
investigation begins. From the beginning, from the moment that Meursault speaks to the police
commissioner, to his lawyer and then to the judge, he shows himself as he is, totally removed
from an emotional experience, and it is precisely this that the prosecution will use. to give wings
to a sentence to the guillotine. All those who question him are perplexed by his surrendered
admission of the facts. Meursault can't say that what happened didn't happen, and when asked
why, he replies that it was because of the sun, sparking laughter from the jurors and the
audience. But for him it is the truth. He doesn't know anything else. It was because of the sun.

His lawyer asks him about his mother's funeral, where, according to witnesses, "he had given
evidence of insensitivity."18 Meursault does not understand that his mother's funeral has
anything to do with the murder of the Arab; they are clearly two separate things, why does your
lawyer bring it up?

He asked me if I had felt sorry that day. This question surprised me very much, and it seemed to
me that I would have been very upset if I had had to ask it... I must have loved my mother very
much. but that did not mean anything. All normal people, I told him, have at some time wished
the death of their loved ones. [...1 The day of Mom's funeral I was very tired and sleepy, so I
didn't realize what was happening.

He asked me if I could say that I had suppressed my natural feelings that day. I said, "No,
because it wouldn't be true."

I realized above all that I was putting him in an awkward position. He didn't understand me and
was a little irritated with me. I wanted to assure him that I was like everyone else, absolutely like
everyone else. But basically all this was not very useful and I gave up out of laziness.

He refuses to ask, to explain himself, even in this very serious case in which, in fact, life is at
stake. It is as if he "knew" a priori that it would be impossible for him to explain himself (because
he is unknown even to himself...) and that, in any case, he would not be worth anything either;
so, having nothing meaningful to say, it's best to keep quiet.

The second part of the story delves into the vision that the world has of such a man: a misfit.
who is obstinate in not adjusting to the norms and conventions required by society. This is his
meeting with the investigating judge: «He told me in the first place that I was described as a
taciturn and reserved character and he wanted to know what my opinion was. I replied, "I never
have much to say. That's why I keep quiet."
He then asks him "without transition" if he loved his mother. "Yes, like everyone else." Later,
when he is accused of neglecting his mother by putting her in a hospice, Meursault, who still
does not understand, will say that he could no longer take care of her financially and that,
moreover, the two of them had nothing else to do. say, thus arousing general indignation. Thus
begins the picture of a terrible and ruthless murderer who will also be accused of debauchery
for having been with Maria the day after her mother's funeral; In short, inhumanity. As if he were
an alien.

Although he doesn't like the strident voices or the light in prison, he likes it and quickly gets
used to the cell, "quieter and darker." His intolerance to "pain" manifests itself in intolerance to
noise. During Maria's first and only visit, in a large room where everyone yells, "I wasn't feeling
well and I wanted to leave. All that noise hurt me."

Of his adaptation to prison life, he makes a description that is also distanced, although very
accurate. You can sit still thinking, waiting, watching for a long time; considering separately the
different aspects of his situation, which allows him to see, for example, the loss of certain
freedoms as something that does not fall within the sphere of his needs. You can therefore
minimize them, which is like reducing yourself:

I could spend hours just enumerating what I found in my room. Thus, the more he reflected, the
more unknown or forgotten things he drew from memory. I understood then that a man who had
not lived more than a single day could easily live a hundred years in prison. [...] In a certain
sense it was an advantage.
Now he is completely isolated in himself.

I had read that in jail you end up losing track of time. But that didn't make much sense to me.
Before, I didn't know how long and short the days can be at the same time. Long to live without
a doubt, but so relaxed that they concluded above the others. They lost the name. The words
vesterday and overflowing some tomorrows were the only ones that retained a meaning for me.
When the guard told me one day that he had been there for five months, I believed him, but I did
not understand him. It is a continuous soliloquy.

I went to the skylight and, with the last light, I contemplated my image. She was still serious and
there was nothing surprising about it because at that moment I wasn't too. But at the same time,
and for the first time in months, I distinctly heard the sound of my voice. [.] I understood that
during all that time he had spoken to himself.

The trial begins with the usual and constant impression of strangeness; to the point that
Meursault does not understand why there are so many people and so many journalists. Then he
realizes it's about him and is shocked because "people don't usually pay much attention to me."

Everything comes out during the trial, and if the defense attorney can hardly object, the
prosecution has free path and uses each of the events-non-events of Meursault's life to paint a
ruthless and inhuman murderer. Meanwhile, our character remains motionless. An emotional
color is painted when, after the testimony of his landlord that it was just an accident, the two
look at each other and Meursault feels, for the first time in his life, the desire to hug a man.

There are questions that are obscure to him, such as when he wonders how they wield the
intelligence they recognize in him as accusatory evidence. He realizes that the horror that the
crime inspires in the judge, and perhaps in everyone present, is less than that caused by his
insensitivity.

The trial becomes very heavy for him, his head spins, he continues to perceive the sounds that
come from the street, outside the court, and that bring back memories of a life that he no longer
has. He realizes that this "circus" (the trial) is useless and he just would like to return to his cell.

The death sentence is not long in coming.

From this moment on, Meursault loses sleep and enters into an eternal wait for dawn because
he knows that at that time the executions take place.

He wants to be prepared, above all he doesn't want

to be surprised, which he has never liked. You feel your heart beating and you can't imagine
that it will stop soon. He refuses the visit of the priest several times until the latter suddenly
decides to enter the cell.

Meursault does not believe in any God, in any redemption, he does not believe in sin and he
does not want to be asked once again what he has already been asked. Finally, it is explained
to the priest in a catharsis.

I tried to explain to him one last time that my time was short. I didn't want to lose him to God. He
tried to change the subject by asking me why I called him "sir" and not "father." This got on my
nerves and I replied that he wasn't my father: he was just like the others.

So, I don't know why, something broke inside of me. I screamed at the top of my lungs and
insulted him and told him not to pray and that he had better burn himself and disappear: He had
grabbed him by the collar of his cassock. I poured out the depths of my heart on him with mixed
gasps of rage and joy.

It seemed so safe, right? However; none of his certainties was worth a woman's hair: He wasn't
even sure he was alive, since he lived like a dead man. I seemed to have empty hands. But I
was sure [...7 of everything […1 of my life and of this death that was going to come. Yes, that's
all I had. But at least I had this truth in my hands, as much as it had me. [...] It was as if I had
always waited for that moment and that dawn [...] Nothing mattered [...]

What did the death of others matter to me, the love of a mother! What did I care about his God,
the lives that one chooses, the destinies that one chooses, when a single destiny had to choose
me and, with me, billions of privileged people who, like him, called themselves my brothers!
Everyone is privileged. There are no privileges. The rest will also be condemned one day. He
too will be condemned. What does it matter if a man accused of murder is sentenced to death
for not crying at his mother's funeral? [...]

As soon as he left, I regained my composure. I felt exhausted and threw myself on the bunk. [..1
The sounds of the countryside me [.] The wonderful peace of this sleepy summer washed over
me like a tide. [.] For the first time in a long time, I thought of Mom. I seemed to understand why,
at the end of a life, she had taken a "boyfriend," why she had played at starting over. So close to
death, Mom must have felt liberated and ready to relive everything. No one, no one had the right
to cry for her. And I, too, felt ready to relive it all. As if that tremendous anger had purged me of
evil, had freed me of hope, before this night full of omens and stars, I opened myself for the first
time to the sweet indifference of the world. Finding him so similar to me, so fraternal, in short, I
understood that he had been happy and that he continued to be. So that everything is
consumed, so that I feel less alone, I can only hope that there will be many spectators on the
day of my execution, and that they will receive me with shouts of hatred.

Underground Man
From Memoirs from the Underground, by Fyodor Dostoevsky.

The anonymous narrator of Memoirs from the Underground is a bitter misanthropist who lives
alone in Saint Petersburg in the 1860s. A veteran of the Russian Administration, he has retired
with a small inheritance. The novel is
"notes" that he writes, a confusing and contradictory set of confessions that describe his
estrangement from modern society. The
'underground', the 'dark cellar' from which he claims to be writing, is a symbol of his total
isolation. He feels excluded from the society to which he is supposed to belong while stating
that he prefers the underground world, which he hoards to exercise his individuality, as a good
E5 conservation.

The first thing he confesses to us is that he is a sick, evil and unattractive man, mutilated and
corrupted by hate. Read and intelligent, this very fact, in his opinion, motivates his misfortune,
since modern society condemns all conscientious and educated men to be miserable. He
denounces the romantic idea of "the beautiful and the sublime" as absurd in that context. His
'too-acute awareness' prevents him from acting, since 'too much awareness is a disease'. There
are times, he confesses, when he wants someone to slap him and anticipates that he will not be
able to forgive or take revenge. For men of action, "two plus two equals four." If fools act
impulsively to get revenge, someone with a "too sharp conscience" has too many doubts to act.
And so, the underground man is seen as a mouse retreating 'ignominiously back into its hole'.

This loner constantly vacillates between seeking recognition from society and having nothing to
do with anyone. In his low opinion of humanity, he denies that we are rational beings, stupid and
cruel Obsessed with literature, modeling and actions with readings. It is not just separate from
the city; also, in a certain sense, of reality. An example of a modern pessimist, he affirms that he
simply carries to the end what the majority represses. We all have, Dostoevsky suggests,
something of the spiteful pessimism of the underground man.

Human nature
This antihero, who sees the worst in himself, generalizes about human nature, considering
himself an example of a sick and spiteful humanity. He compares humans to animals: there are
bulls and mice, and he is seen as an insignificant fly. We are just another animal species among
many on this planet, with no special dignity.

This degradation of humanity refers to Darwin's theory of evolution, which had just been
translated into Russian when Dostoevsky wrote Memoirs from Underground. The protagonist
does not hesitate to mention the scientific "discovery" that man is descended from apes.

The underground man sees us humans as creatures as foolish, cruel and despicable as himself.
He claims that his pessimism is simply honesty about true human nature: malice and
irrationality. resentment.

After having sex with Lisa, a prostitute, in the brothel, he wakes up at two in the morning next to
her with nausea. The underground encourages her to leave the brothel and get married. When
Lisa comments that not all married women are happy, he tells her a slave and, at least, he blurts
out that she is not. Cruelty is seen here without meaning or limits of the underground man. For
what reason does he torment the vulnerable Lisa?

His cruel words, moreover, contradict him, for he had presented himself to the reader as "a
coward and a slave." Of course, the Downworlder looks for others weaker to experience a
sense of superiority.

He has spent days dreading Lisa coming to visit him and regrets giving her his address. Within
a few days, however, he relaxes and begins to fantasize about being romantic with her. In
dreams, his tone is different from the one he uses with the reader; he speaks to Lisa in a kind
and magnanimous way. And it is that the underground has convinced itself that Lisa will not go
to her house, where it could be the real person who loses her delusion. He is obsessed with
literature, which provides him with the material for his fantasies, which threaten to be destroyed
by the irruption of real life.

When the woman then actually comes home and he yells at Apolonio before bursting into tears
in front of Lisa, he first feels ashamed and then feels sorry for her, then turns cruel again, yelling
at her to leave him alone. His wild mood swings and unpredictable treatment of other characters
seem to stem from a strong angst beyond his control.

Isolation and society

The narrator writes from a mysterious place underground, cut off from society. He always feels
isolated in society, either at school (where he had no friends) or at work (where he hates all his
colleagues). Does he reject society or does society reject him? Do you crave recognition or not
even?

Having been rejected by many, he despises us and withdraws, and this withdrawal makes
others like him even less, by circle he withdraws even more, in what I know has led him into
almost complete isolation.
It's a boring life, but isolation brings certain benefits, such as a critical distance from which to
observe, and time to read. So, the subway goes back and forth between feeling unjustly
excluded and voluntary exile. He can't even decide what he wants, friendship or loneliness.

Literature and writing

The underground man differs from the others in his obsession with literature. He grew up
without many friends and spent (and spends, now underground) a lot of time reading. Not only
is it a solitary activity, isolating him, but his overly literary sensibility prevents him from normal
social functioning and makes him socially awkward. Lisa tells him that he talks like a book; and
he's obsessed with dueling, for example, an antiquated practice in traditional literature. He
imagines challenging him to a duel at the bar, but then realizes that everyone will laugh at him,
as indeed they will when he challenges Ferfichkin to a duel.

However, literature offers him a chance to overcome his isolation: writing. There you can strike
up a conversation with a community of readers. Although the novel is composed of interior
monologues, it becomes a "dialogue" where he imagines his readers' reactions and responds to
them. It can be seen as an attempt to break out of isolation. But he ends up rejecting even this
community of readers: not even, according to him, should he have written these notes.

Thought and action

Most of these notes are ramblings. There is little plot. And it is that, simply, there is little action in
the life of the underground. What he himself says, he is a man of "too acute a conscience",
which paralyzes him. You think too much, you question everything to the point that you can't
decide what action to take.

He often imagines the action, but never carries it out, such as when he heads to the brothel,
where he is to slap Zverkov... but he arrives too late. Paralyzed by his own thoughts, all he can
do is go underground, talk to himself, and write down his thoughts. Through this pathetic
character.

Dostoevsky asks us: Isn't it better to be stupid and live like a normal person? Is it possible for a
highly conscientious person to live a functional life in modern society?

The toll collector

From The Toll Collector by Rachel Johnson (2003).
The Toll Collector (The toll collector, in
Spanish), by Rachel Johnson, is a short film that portrays the isolation of the Five conservation
in its strangeness before the world and before itself.
The conservational is observed in taking isolation and renunciation to the extreme, where the
individual is enough only with himself and his mind. The short portrays him in a poetic and
subtle way, through stop motion, the technique of placing images or fixed objects one after
another to achieve movement. The cold colors, the predominance of the moon, the spectral
paleness of the character and the dissonant music translate very well the distant and desolate
sadness of this character.

A lonely woman lives in isolation and works at a toll booth. She feels strange and lives in her
mind, fueled by the dream of being a prima ballerina. He is kind and has a different body. She
feels different, like a monster; it seems that something is wrong with her; something inter is not
insufficient, so it is better hidden. In that hiding, he is satisfied with little, he does not feel that he
needs more. He is self-sufficient, but at the same time he harbors a lot of sadness, because that
self-sufficiency and settling for little is the answer to a broken desire. It is the feeling that
everything is already lost, love will never come and only the rejection of destiny remains. It is the
renunciation of life.
Loss and heartbreak can dry out the soul.

His life is boring and in order not to see that desert he fills himself with things: collections,
knowledge, hobbies. He takes care with them but they are locked up, without being shared. To
fill her desolation, she practices and practices ballet, she makes her own pointe shoes and
begins to weave until she is exhausted. From so much living in his mind of unattainable dreams,
he begins to have hallucinations. The dry soul is disconnected from reality because it does not
want to see its own emptiness; there is no longer a body and the mind floods everything.

Until, one day, he hears a baby crying in the distance. Leaving his house, he sees a leafless
tree from which some fetuses hang from the umbilical cord. Each baby falls from the tree like
ripe fruit or as if they are launched into life. However, one does not fall, one is still in the tree, as
if one did not wish to be born. As he gets closer, he realizes that this baby, seized by fear, has
his own face. At that moment she realizes that her sadness originates in fear, which keeps her
paralyzed and hidden, without going out into the world to make her dreams come true; without
living, after all.

He decides to change his life, go out into the world, stop being a spectator. She is going to fulfill
her desires without knowing very well how, going through the fear that keeps her hidden. Well,
as we hear in the short film, "a heart can bear loneliness, but it never gets used to it."

Paterson
From Paterson by Jim Jarmush (2016).

The film Paterson, written and directed by Jim Jarmush, one of the most important filmmakers in
American independent cinema, is the chronicle of a week in the life of a couple from Paterson, a
small town in New Jersey.
The protagonist, played by Adam Driver, bears the same name as the town where the story
takes place. Paterson almost never speaks unless asked, and answers almost always
evasively, often in monosyllables. He does not let anyone into his emotional world. He protects
himself in a kind and polite but implacable way.

Easy on the surface, absolutely nothing happens in the film. It is the chronicle of a banal,
monotonous and almost insignificant week, as much as the life of the protagonist seems to be. It
is not that frenetic action cinema that mainstream Hollywood has accustomed us to, but a
minimalist film that stages the day-to-day life of a conservationist, the quintessential antihero.

Adam Driver himself expresses himself

thus:

I remember when I read the script, I couldn't help but think that something was going to happen
in every scene like, "Now the dog gets hit," or
"The bus driver runs off the road."

It's very brave of Jim to think that a character whose main activity is listening is cinematic
enough. Trust that your audience can put up with seeing someone who only thinks.

This look at the life of the protagonist and his partner Laura begins on a Monday morning and
ends the following Monday, with the same overhead shot that opens every day: the two of them
in bed, just as they wake up.

There is in the protagonist an armored emotionality, a compulsive search for introspection, a

polite entrenchment in the inner castle, a minimization of opportunities for contact and intrusion
from the external world. The strategies are all unidirectional: the silent and discreet presence,
practically never asking for anything, not creating opportunities for dialogue, exchange, contact,
responding with monosyllables and without saying anything about oneself and returning the ball
to the other as soon as possible and taking the least risk.

The capacity for concentration and abstraction of the character is great. He spends practically
the whole day immersed in his world, absorbed in his thoughts, in his poems. It is as if He
detaches from reality even though He is physically present. "upper part" is always writing,
ruminating, as he states in one of his poems:

Poem
I'm in the house.
It's nice out: warm
sun on cold snow.
First day of spring or last of winter:
My legs run up
the stairs and out
the door; my top
half here writing

In his notebook there are no erasures or

rewriting, the entire creative process is internal; when something comes out, it already comes
out in its final version.

When spoken to, it takes a few seconds to

"come down to earth." In fact, it is as if a part of him never quite made it, as if his incarnation
process had not been completed. When he is forced by circumstances, when the encounter is
"inevitable", he faces it with the confidence of someone who knows how much he can, will
return to his world, like the one who flips the on/off switch. what in
This ability to compartmentalize and make sure that things, people and environments do not
mix, that they remain pure and impervious, without communicating with each other, finds a
specialist in E5.

There is no real interaction for this character, since he is always self-centered; He has great
difficulty seeing the real other pre, to be in a relationship. He tries, but it's like he doesn't really
have the skills to maintain a dialogue or a bond.

You just don't know what to say, you don't know what to do. He tries to be friendly and in fact he
is very polite, formally available, but he is not really in the relationship, he is not able to
empathize, to establish an emotional contact with the interlocutor.

You feel much more comfortable observing than

interacting. Look at everything that surrounds her: the city she travels every day on the number
23 bus, the matches, the glass of beer, the decorations that Laura hangs in the house or the
Paterson waterfall, her favorite and inspiring place.

From the safe vantage point of the driver's seat, watch the life of the city. He stands still, life
flows into him and passes. She listens to the stories of others: the dialogues of children,
adolescents, men and women.

She pays attention to details, turning the rearview mirror to look at the passengers' shoes while
listening to their conversations. He has fun, laughs to himself while listening to these stories. His
thing is to live looking at the world from afar, through the window.

An E5 conservation is not lacking in interest in relationships. On the contrary, he is curious to

know how they work, how they develop, what people say. As for getting involved... Well, that's
another question.
The defensive need is greater the closer the link. On the other hand, with strangers, with people
you will probably never see again, it is less essential to protect yourself.

The film reveals, through the privileged channel of poetic creation, the unusual sensitivity and
delicacy of a restrained and essential character with words. He is a phenomenological artist,
who always starts from simple, everyday things, nothing extraordinary: he observes the
matchbox, or the beer in the glass, he observes the emotions that they provoke and transforms
them into poetry…

Love poem
We have plenty of matches in our house.
We keep them on hand always.
Currentlv our favourite brand is Ohio Blue
Tip, though we used to prefer Diamond brand.
That was before we discovered Ohio Blue
Tip matches.
They are excellently packaged, sturdy
Little boxes with dark and light blue and white labels
With words lettered in the shape of a megaphone, as if
To say even louder to the world.
Here is the most beautiful match in the world, its one-and-a-half-inch soft
pine stem capped by a grainy dark purple bead, so sober and
furious and stubbornly ready to burst into flame,
lighting perhaps, the cigarette of the woman you love, for
same after that.
the first time, and it was never really the
All this will give you.
This is what you gave me, I
Become the cigarette and you the match, or I the match
And you the cigarette, blazing with kisses
That smoulder toward heaven.

The seemingly irreconcilable dichotomy between an impenetrable, adamantine shell and a

tender, hypersensitive core- "Incredible, a driver who likes Emily Dickinson!"_is clear from some
narrative details. Like the contents of the breakfast box that accompanies him to work every day
in which, among the things that guarantee his survival, there is room, in addition to a tangerine
and Laura's cupcake, for two obviously very significant photos for him. him, in a simple gesture,
hidden but of great reverence, almost of devotion. One is the portrait of Dante Alighieri, the
supreme bard, with a small red rose attached, and the other is that of his beloved Laura.

A common thread of the tape are the cufflinks. In the opening scene, Laura, barely awake,
recounts a dream:

LAURA: I had a beautiful dream. We had two sons, twins... PATERSON: Uh...
LAURA: If we had children, would you like them to be twins? sol PATERSON: Um... Yes...
Twins? Of course, why not?

There is the withdrawn, reserved and anonymous Paterson, who walks on tiptoes so as not to
make noise; and the timely and heroic Paterson at the right time to disarm his friend Everett
when he threatens to kill himself there, in the bar, in front of his ex-girlfriend. In this case, cold
blood, the disconnection of emotions helps him and he is able to do everything at the right
time.

A restricted and desolate environment and a claustrophobic climate envelop the plot. There is
no sociability in the couple, who apparently have no relationship with the outside world. It is a
life as circular as the <<Cheerios>> cereals that Paterson has for breakfast every morning, the
obsessive black and white decorations that Laura paints all over the house, or the laps that the
protagonist takes, day after day, at the wheel of her bus.

The protagonist's favorite poet is William

Carlos Williams, also born and raised in Paterson.
They are united by that roots in the place of birth and a very sober and traditional lifestyle.
Nothing in their attitudes and behaviors reveals the internal volcano of feelings that beats in
their words:

Old Glow
When I wake up earlier than you and you are turned to face me, face on the pillow and hair
spread around I take a chance and stare at vou,
amazed in love and afraid
that vou might open vour eves and have the davlights scared out of vou.
But maybe with the daylights gone vou'd see how much my chest and head implode for vou,
their voices trapped inside like unborn children fearing they will never see the light of day.
The opening in thee wall now dimly glows.

Flash
When I wake up before vou and vou've
Turned to face me, your face on the pillow And vour hair spread out, I take a
Chance and look at vou,
Stunned with love and afraid
Daylight will scare you to death. But maybe When the daylight is gone, you'll see my
chest
And head explode for vou, with
Their voice trapped inside, like children
Born not who will never see the dread
The light of day. The hole in Wall sends out faint gray and blue flashes Of rain. I tie them up and
go downstairs
To put the coffee on.

It sounds like a silent and desperate cry, with an abyss between what you feel or think you feel,
and idealize, and what you express towards your partner. That probably scares him, which is
why he defends himself so much. This declaration of dependency, of the depth of the feelings
that bind him to her, would expose him even more than he already is, would make him even
more vulnerable, because he gives the impression of being "at the mercy" of his wife.
Pumpkin
My little pumpkin,
Ilike to think about other girls sometimes, but the truth is if vou ever left me
I'd tear my heart out and never put it back.
There'll never be anyone like you.
How embarrassing.

There is an absolute discrepancy between the intensity and passion of some of these verses
and their inability to express their feelings out loud, as if they were walled off in the depths of
their soul.

Despite repeated requests, Paterson never reads Laura his verses, even though the most
moving poems are dedicated to her.

He protects the depth of his feelings by sparing himself from a "real" person who may not
correspond to that "ideal" person who is the muse of those lyrics. parts with

His love is not expressed in outbursts or great effusions; nothing is wild or exaggerated...
At times he addresses her almost like a stranger, with an unusual formality and distance for
people who share the same bed.

There are also no scenes of passion or unbridled sex. Everything is very measured, very
smooth. She is alwavs naked in bed while he never takes off his shirt: skin to skin without ever
wanting to reveal too much, never completely, not even in private…

LAURA: Look, honey, I think you should do something with those beautiful poems of yours...
They belong to the world, you know? (scoffing): To the world? Now you are exaggerating!

At a given moment, although he does not put a remedy or limit, Paterson feels Laura's falsity.
He feels that his interest is not real and deep, he does not perceive the sufficient amount of
admiration that an ET conservation needs to decide to grant a few crumbs of his own wisdom.

Laura is a master in the art of manipulation.

He uses it systematically, like when he decides to get a guitar as a gift. He bursts into
Paterson's lair, the only real place of his in the house, with a precise plan in his head, a plan
that apparently the protagonist will not understand.

The tendency to renounce, typical of the E5, is perceived in the spaces of the house. The only
place that really speaks of him, with his objects, his energy, the only place that is really "his," is
that garage, we were saying, where he has carved out his own living space and to which.

Otherwise, obviously the house "belongs" to Laura. Paterson moves and behaves in that house
as if he were a guest. Each object, the furniture, the position of the paintings, their content, the
presence of the dog, everything is and speaks of Laura, not of him. He even takes care not to
"make too much noise" in his own home. He lives on tiptoe, occupying a minimum living space,
without making a noise, not even when he wakes up. She collects her clothes neatly on the
chair and takes them to get dressed in another room without disturbing Laura, who is still
sleeping.

It is difficult to put limits on Laura's exuberance, and he gives up on it, as well as on proposing
anything that concerns the house. She delegates, as if only she had aesthetic taste, so the
possible movement is that of withdrawal: leave everything to her and make a space for herself
in the basement or outside the house.

When, returning home after finally having the luxury of going out for pizza and a movie (horror
and black-and-white!), Paterson says, "We should do this every weekend." What is certain to
celebrate the uncle is that the couple decides to give themselves that "luxury" thanks to Laura
inviting them to a pizza and a movie (which they never do) a success of their cupcakes at the
market. In this detail emerges the greed of the character and his narrow-mindedness.

Paterson guarantees with his work the survival of the couple, the preservation, but nothing
more. The glimpse of life comes with the money earned by Laura.
His small world, narrow but reassuring, begins to creak towards the weekend based on small
events that take on the effect of a tsunami in the gray and dull routine that marks the days of
Paterson.

Three-quarters of an hour into the tape, he's at the bar, as always, in front of his beer, looking at
the Paterson celebrity wall, but he's alone, hopelessly alone, more than ever. The bartender is
flirting with a female customer, two friends are playing chess, the pool table is empty, a girl is
putting a record on the jukebox, and he is alone with his beer. The desolation is almost tangible,
even more visible than the obiects that appear in the shots. All this happiness that he had
declaimed in the poem is not perceived at all:

Another one
When vou're a child
you learn there are three dimensions: height, width, and depth.
like a shoebox.
Then later you hear there's a fourth dimension: time.
Hmm.
Then some sav
there can be five, six, seven...
I knock off work, have a beer at the bar:
flook down at the glass and feel glad.

Other
When vou are a child
vou learn that there are three dimensions: height, width and depth. Then vou hear
that there is a fourth dimension:
Hmm.
Time.
And then some say maybe there are five, six, seven...
I get off work, have a beer at the bar I look at the bottom of the glass and I feel good.

The greater concretion of the countertype of the E5 is observed again in this poem. Unlike the
social one, the conservation one is not attracted to abstractions, and when the concepts get
complicated, it returns to the concrete: And then some say maybe there's five, six, seven...". Not
in vain, although it is a very intellectual character (for belonging to the mental trio, along with E6
and E7; and for being the most intellectual of them, like Five; this conservationist is the most
specific, the most active of the three subtypes, the sexual being the most emotional, and the
social being the most markedly intellectual.

Something happens then in the restricted and limited existence of Paterson, small things but
with a very mobilizing effect, that force him to come out into the light, to get involved.

The first trigger is a problem with the bus: a trivial failure in the electrical system that forces him
to take action on the to. Nothing transcendental, but he is forced to interact with those
passengers who until now had been mere objects of observation. And also, to realize the
anachronism of some of his attitudes, such as not having a cell phone -"it's a constraint," he
says-so he is forced to ask a girl who was coming on the bus for hers, to call garages. He is
immediately ashamed of it; when the little girl asks him: "Don't you have a cell phone?", he
replies: "No, I... I don't carry it with me.'

That same night, at the bar, another even more unsettling "incident" occurs, when Everett (still
unable to get over the fact that his ex-girlfriend Marie can't be won back) pulls out a gun and
threatens to kill himself in front of everyone.

It's a toy, but Paterson unknowingly pounces on his friend and disarms him.

The bar is a substantial part of the Paterson routine, a privileged place where - even as a simple
observer and not as an active subject - life enters the soul (or at least in the field of Paterson.

Strong emotions flow and explode in the vision relationships) between the patrons, not only
between Everett and Marie, but also between Doc himself, the bartender, and his wife, who
suddenly bursts into the bar for the savings ordering her husband to return immediately he had
booked with so much effort niece, concluding with a threatening: «Doctor, you're going to need
a transfusion if you don't return the money to its place!».

The protagonist's emotional shaker has not yet reached its peak, but it will the following night,
with the real "tragedy." Paterson, already shaken by the events of the previous day, and
surprised by Laura's proposal to leave after the success of his muffins (The Conservation
Prefers to Know Beforehand What He's Up Against) inadvertently leaves his poetry notebook on
the sofa - instead of in the garage, as usual, and when they come back from the movie, they
find that Marvin the dog has ripped it to shreds.

A new warning for those who decided long ago to lock themselves in their castle and not expose
themselves too much: living necessarily implies taking risks and suffering losses!

Paterson can't express anger even when the dog destroys his most precious, intimate and
secret treasure. A world of feelings cries out within him, but it is frozen, repressed; he does not
have access to the most direct, obvious and common emotions.
One wonders: But how does he keep such intense emotion at bay, when his secret notebook is
destroyed?

At most he says, "I don't like you, Marvin." And yet, something has finally moved, it begins to
become an emotion, to have a name and an address: "T don't like you, Marvin", it sounds like
the beginning of a path of liberation.

Then comes a small big change: Paterson finally sets a limit for Laura, when she wakes up on
Sunday morning.

LAURA: Honey, it's still early. It's Sunday.

Please go back to sleep. Please honey.
PATERSON: Yeah, okay. Go back to sleep.
For the first time he asserts himself. This is revolutionary for a conservative E5: put a limit on
the act; not a preventive limit, an insurmountable barrier to his inner world (in this he is a
specialist), but a limit adjusted to the moment in which the need to do so arises.

He seems to be very agitated, almost on the verge of a collapse. And indeed, something
changes. At the end of the story, Paterson seems to open up to a more subtle and mystical
dimension of reality. Just when he seems about to relapse into a chronic depression, half-life
lover, suffocating, he takes refuge in the contemplation of "his" waterfall, and suddenly a
foreigner approaches him. He is a Japanese of poetry who has come to Paterson, New Jersey,
to visit the birthplace of the poet William Carlos Williams.

A surprising detail of this salvific encounter is that Paterson expressly denies being a poet.

Does he do it because his poems have been lost or because he has not made them public? Is it
because of the same reluctance with which, throughout the film, he affectionately refuses to
allow his companion to listen to a single verse of his, going so far as to claim some of the girl-
poet's verses instead? Is it due to an excess of modesty, the result of his renunciation of life, of
being part of it?

The Japanese poet--a saint? a bodhisattva? a ro message? pure synchronicity?_ gives him, as
he leaves, a notebook with blank pages that are not padlocked or rubber-banded. It seems to
give him a glimmer of hope. And the Japanese words sound like a blessing: "A blank page
presents many possibilities...
" BITCHAR 1 and

Change is possible, in fact it is already happening; the seed of transformation has been sown.
Will it start to germinate? Or will resignation prevail?

Do I stay like this and resign myself, contenting myself with the least bad? Or do I prefer to "be a
fish" and swallow a claustrophobic, limited and insignificant existence?

The line
There's an old song my grandfather used to sing that has the question,
Or would vou rather be a fish?
In the same song is the same question but with a mule and a pig, but the one I hear sometimes
in my head is the fish one.
Just that one line.
Would vou rather be a fish?
As if the rest of the song didn't have to be there.

12. Transformation process

The first step for transformation, as in all enneatypes, is self-observation and recognition of
one's own character as the source of suffering.

The main motivation that leads the conservationist to seek change is the suffering caused by
seeing himself as a deficient person. He suffers from feeling wrong, out of place, at the mercy of
a world into which he has been thrown without an instruction book. He suffers from distance,
from the feeling of not belonging, from an isolation that leads him to consider himself different
from others. Often, he is not aware of his share of responsibility in keeping active the process
that feeds the suffering.

An important step is, therefore, to recognize one's own way of functioning: the E5 conservation
is relieved by knowing that its way of being in the world is foreseen and observed, that it can be
the object of knowledge, and also of modification.

The first understanding of an intellectual type thus offers a mental map that implies the exit from
isolation. This would be the first crack in the system.

"While doing the Gestalt Training, I started the SAT Program. I went knowing practically nothing
about the Enneagram. The introduction had a great impact on me; I saw myself absolutely
reflected when they made the description of the E5.

It was like a fall of that veil that prevents seeing realitv; I saw myself without excuses or
justifications.
The SAT has given me the opportunity to meet other people with the same enneatype and that
has been important to me. I have alwavs lived like a weirdo, believing that no one had the same
difficulties as me or that no one was like me. The discovery of equals relieved me quite a bit. It
has helped me to see the shadow, to see the specific difficulties of the Five, to be able to work
with them.

The SAT Il was especially important to me.

It was the culmination of the work I had been doing with my therapist about my past. I felt the
strength of the group and the common goal of all.
It was the beginning of thinking about myself as an adult." - Manuela R.

Character recognition leads to self-observation. It is easy for this enneatype to observe the
contents of their own mind, and through the lens of the character map, they can begin to
understand how deceptive it is. You can observe the level of attachment to your own thinking, to
the production of theories, to your own representation of the world.

"I came to the SAT at the age of forty-six at a time of great loneliness and despair: Deeply
resigned to a life on the margins of a world he felt he couldn't belong to. SAT I was to open the
door to a world made only of darkness. It was the beginning of my personal journey: for the first
time I felt that I could be part of a group. I contacted with strong and deep emotions." - Nicola B.

Little by little you can start a process of healthy distancing from your own mind, demystifying it,
observing how it sometimes generates deductions that are not based on the data of reality.

A work of phenomenological observation is important in this passage, in order to arrive at a

healthier examination of the real. This different use of the mind goes hand in hand with an
integration
progression of sensory data from the body.

Once again, it will be necessary to provide him with cognitive maps and emotional and affective
education, which will allow him to recognize, name, accept and contextualize what for him have
been generic and undifferentiated signs of sensory invasion.

"Next, I did a body formation based on expressive movement, enneagram and bioenergetics).
One of the things they explained:

"Next, I did a body formation (based on expressive movement, enneagram and bioenergetics).
One of the things they explained helped me a lot: Unexpressed emotions are retained in the
body and by doing bodywork these emotions can come to the surface. Not as something that is
happening now, but as an expression of something very old that could not be expressed at the
time. I was able to recognize that the body has memory, different from cognitive memory, and
understand some of the emotions I was feeling. In this formation is when I began to enjoy the
body, to move, to dance. And more and more I managed to be in the present without so much
thinking. I discovered that the body is an anchor to the present." - Manuela R.
One of the main jobs of this transformation process is, in effect, to rediscover the body.

"People who feel confident in their bodies can begin to put into words the memories that once
overwhelmed them. That is why it is essential to start a loving exploration of your body, so that
you can connect with yourself, embody your body. You will be able to self-manage the
sensations that you previously thought you could not bear; vou will no longer need to isolate
yourself or forget about vourself." - Ivonne R.

There are many techniques (bioenergetics, yoga, dance, singing...) useful in the process that
leads to feeling a body that had been forgotten. It is not simply employing activation techniques
for a physical well-being, but to recognize a part of oneself that has not been seen or heard:

"Something that has helped me a lot in my process is body work; making contact with the body
has been a discovery, both of well-being and jov as well as discomfort. But it has definitely given
me structure and anchor:" - Yashmir H.

Messages arrive from the body that can be redefined by a mind that progressively becomes a
more flexible container.

A greater familiarity with one's own bodily experience opens up a better management of one's
being in the world. This increased internal security allows the insulation to loosen its grip.

From there a later phase opens where the

association feeling = pain will be passed to the
association feeling = pleasure, something that
finds its main channel in a rediscovered erotic dimension.

"Only through the gradual rediscovery of the body and a true process of "reincarnation" could I
begin to discover how the body can give pleasure. From a dimension that considers the body
only as a medium and relegates the sexual sphere to a pure and mechanical physical release,
to a dimension of abandonment in instinctive energy. I perceive the energy of life within me in
the abandonment to pleasure, I channel it in the encounter with the other and I discover the
sacredness of the masculine and feminine. From a contact that generates fear to a contact that
opens the door to a true relationship, with trust, respect, esteem, care, strength and delicacy." -
Nicola B.

The opening of an internal space of vital pleasure is the way to allow yourself to be carried away
to a dimension of more confidence in life, where vou can enter the flow of life to "feel the
pleasure of living".
In this renewed space of experience, the availability opens to rework the painful old
experiences, and the work of reparation of the parental figures.
"During the spontaneous movement there was an intense contact with the body, but above all
an image and an understanding came to me. The image was that of a father taking a son by the
hand and accompanying him. The understanding was that I am applying the same pattern to my
body that my father applied to me; that is, not listening and not caring. How can I take care of
someone if I can't take care of myself? How can I love another person if I don't love myself?
How can a son trust and acknowledge the guidance of a father who ignores him?

It is true that my experience goes through the lack of a father as a guide and reference, but the
time has come to recover the relationship between the father and the son of my inner world. I
think it is from then on that the recovery of strength and confidence begins to be able to face
what today I am beginning to see more clearly as the core of my inner suffering. That ancestral
pain that fixates on a self that is too small and that has led me, at an unconscious level, to
consider any type of force as violence and, therefore, to deny my own force and avoid life." -
Nicola B.

In this passage fear is crossed to enter fully into the ancestral pain of the violence suffered, in
order to untie that knot, to accept that violence with the tools of compassion and forgiveness.
And in that acceptance, you acknowledge your strength and give your life direction.

"Metaphorically, it is as if there were a bird hidden in the middle of the tall grass of a meadow,
which remains motionless and does not move because it is afraid that, if it takes flight, it will be
shot down by the hunter; although being in the middle of the grass he cannot see if the hunter is
really there. However; if he manages to find within himself the strength and courage to take
flight and accept the risk of death, at that moment in which he accepts his vulnerability he is
impregnated of a great energy of life and a great sensation of freedom is generated in him.
There he frees himself from his fears and, therefore, from the state of non-life (non-love) in
which he was immobilized, to take flight towards full life: love and openness of the heart." -
Nicola B.

"I know what it is now my turn to put into action, that is, I know what I now want, which is like a
death in me of fear and distrust or; better said, overcoming them:
being able to go beyond both. And for that concrete action is necessary. I trust that life will be in
charge, at every moment, of giving me the opportunity to take a step-I need and want this trust
and faith-, and that when this opportunity appears I will know how to recognize it and, with the
strength and power of love in my heart, receive it with gratitude and humility.

For my part, I take responsibility for who I am fully in my humanity and my spiritual essence, I
pay attention and awareness to accept fear; vulnerability and love in fullness (affective, sexual
and spiritual), and I intend to surrender to the present moment, to life, to service and to my own
Being." - Eva C.

Once the internal structures have been redefined, through the balance of the mother-father-son
subpersonalities, it is important that this character continues its path projecting itself outwards.
If, in fact, we can define the first part of the Five's work as learning to receive, the second, more
mature part has to do with learning to give.

His relational dimension is frankly scarce, and training in social skills will be useful, where he
learns to negotiate limits assertively, express his emotions with authenticity and clarity, and
empathize with the inner world of the other.

Recognizing psychic solipsism helps to overcome childhood egocentrism and to take others and
their needs more into account.

Accepting the existence of a real other helps to recognize the acts of revenge, the attacks on
the relationship and the cold estrangement. One of the keys to this therapeutic process is the
exploration and the encounter with rage, which the Five has no idea what he has inside, due to
the great fear and taboo caused by living in an environment that does not allow it. It is a rage
that is usually projected outwards. Find out to what extent you are angry and feel more and
more able to feel anger and express it to the other in the appropriate context.

This is extremely valuable, since he inhibits confrontation and expressing anger directly, and the
only way he expresses internal discomfort is through coldness, that is, the denial of the word
and detachment.

Recognizing their own relational dynamics allows them to work out their primitive rage and
facilitates the expression of that sweetness, candor and charm that, overcoming the fixity of
character, give a very peculiar imprint to this way of being in the world.

A greater presence of the infantile part opens up compassionate contact with others, to feed
back a virtuous circle.

In relationships, the E5 conservation can access the dimension of care that will be important to
dedicate to oneself, in daily concreteness (nutrition, health).
Actions useful for an E5 conservation:

• Put your daily attention on taking action, on solving everyday problems. Do it without hiding.
And do it, as far as possible, without demanding perfection or impossible ideals.
• Do things that you like and do not abandon them even if they are not perfect. You often give
up many things for the level of perfection you seek, which is very high.
• Occupy your own space and get out of the resignation dictated by fear of not being able to get
what you want. for Be assertive. Express what you want even using a tone of louder voice.
• Participate in activities such as theater, singing, clowning, dancing... Not only in private but in
situations that involve exposure to an audience, even if they are colleagues.
• Performing volunteer services can be of great help. Go to the other to meet you. Adopt a pet;
can allow you to express sensibility and tenderness.
• Carrvy out activities that represent non-comfort zones: give lectures, do training, manage
groups, organize parties, tell jokes...
• Give something of value to your loved ones, overcoming the concept of scarcity and
utilitarianism and rediscovering the concept of the beauty of the useless.

Therapeutic recommendations

The path of transformation of E5 conservation requires a therapeutic setting that is connoted as

a space of respect and acceptance, with the absence of judgment, in a dimension of trust.

His hypersensitive emotional structure requires a safe environment: the security of a hug, a
look, a silence, a voice that is neither invasive nor aggressive, neither deceitful nor
overwhelming, and clean in the sense of sincere, honest and free from fear and shades.

Creating an internal space of trust requires time, patience, stability and consistency in
therapeutic actions.

"When the therapist pressures me for no apparent reason, I shut down and refuse to cooperate.
Like authoritarianism: I rebel in silence and refuse to listen." - Manuela R.

Accessing the dimension of the body requires touch, sensitivity and pinpoint timing.

"He hugged me like when an adult takes a child on his lap. He hugged me for a long time and it
was something that comforted me. There were no words, he was by my side, hugging me and
without asking for anything in return and that there was nothing else. Just the hug and the time
he wanted." - Manuela R.

The work of validating the emotional world is based on a solid therapeutic alliance and requires
a loving accompaniment of a re-educational type.

"It is in this therapy that I begin to give «value» to my emotions, to recognize that they exist, that
they are expressed in the body, that they are a language other than rational and, therefore,
cannot be «understood». I am seeing that I have difficulties in managing my emotions, that
sometimes they overflow me and encompass everything. This learning about emotions is what
has allowed me to make progress. I was realizing my actions and non-actions, my demand, my
internal struggle between approaching and moving away; I could see the implacable judge
inside me." - Manuela R.

It is important at this stage not to collude with the intellectual skirmishes that the conservationist
brings into play to distance himself and the relationship.

"My therapist put "on the table" issues that

I hid and hid from myself. And it gave me the option to say, "I don't want to talk about this." I hid
them for learning. My parents didn't talk openly about problems; the problems were hidden and,
by hiding them, it seemed that they did not exist. They didn't exist. And she made them explicit."
- Manuela R.
It is essential to maintain the attitude of autonomy of the person and supervise the process of
individuation. The obiective of the E5 self-preservation is to surrender to the world, not to find in
the fields of therapy and personal growth an enlarged "den" in which to take refuge.

Go to virtue
The virtue of detachment typical of this enneatype is declined in the E5 is conservation in a
detachment from the attachment to its survival strategy. It is important that you recognize and
let go of your attachment to the idea that the only alternative for survival is to remain locked in
your "air" with the little but sure that it offers, giving up real life.

The virtue of detachment must also be practiced in the tendency to isolate oneself.

Opening up to life means going through the fear that blocks it and relying on life - beyond the
places and situations where you feel protected, to discover yourself in the encounter with the
other.

By shifting attention from himself to the other, the E5 conservation manages to find the meaning
of his existence. Taking an active interest in the other, taking care of the other, being of service
counteracts the tendency to focus too much on oneself.

As Claudio Naranjo described it:

"I need to get out of my isolation and take an interest in others _…./ The greatest hope is not in
receiving love (especially since you cannot trust the feelings of others) but in your own ability to
love by entering into relationship with others."

Sexual 5

1. Passion in the Sphere of Instinct:

How Avarice Works in the Sexual instinct

The E5 is anguished by imminent

impoverishment, and that is why it withholds. This is what the greed is: an unwillingness to offer
oneself (dedication, presence, affection) to others.

He does not recognize the needs of others and lives apart from his own feelings and contact
with the other.
Even so, the sexual instinct, mythologically represented by the Greek god Eros, is
characterized, unlike the passion of greed, precisely by an impulse of union and satisfaction of
desires and needs, of encounter and abundance.

It is based on relationships, spontaneity, and openness.

With sexual greed, then, the question arises:
what happens when the passion to retain and get away from the other-with its strong sense of
poverty, focuses on the instinct that requires meeting, giving and receiving and, above all,
gratifying and disposing?
The presence of these antagonistic forces divides the sexual E5 into an internal conflict
between contact and withdrawal, between reason and feeling, between mind and body,
between excitement and apathy. This polarization is the theme of the sexual Five, which is the
countertype among the enneatype 5.

If the priority is the satisfaction of the sexual instinct, we will have to consider Eros as the main
object of greed. A portrait of the daily life of a sexual Five shows us a withdrawn and distrustful
person, who wanders the world halfway between exposing himself and hiding. It is not as
isolated from social contact as the other subtypes, but it will never be found in the center of
discussions.

He tries not to attract attention but he wants to be seen in some way. He presents himself in a
different and unusual way, but not to the point of making people turn to look at him.

Retention of the sexual instinct

The most obvious aspect of the greedy character is a restraint marked by fear, behind which lies
the fantasy that letting go means catastrophic emptying. In the sexual E5, the fear of letting go
has to do precisely with the erotic drive, which he keeps inside and reserves for a better
occasion, as if it were something to accumulate.

Which leads to avoiding encounters that may not be as rewarding as it imagined. Which
includes becoming emotionally involved in a sexual relationship, or explicitly expressing its
interest in a person.
It is not just a matter of stopping the action but even before the spontaneity of the body itself
and its natural receptivity, which are what make the "dance" possible in a relationship.

Poverty, and the dehydration of vitality are primary traits that characterize the Five.
Disconnected from his body and emotionally cold, he deduces that survival involves holding on.
He lacks the vitality to go in search of gratification, leading to only having energy to maintain its
resources. He gets used to having the minimum and renounces the gratification.

In the case of the sexual subtype, their greatest experience of impoverishment will be the lack of
love, coupled with the physical-emotional memory of lost fulfillment. This will lead, as we will
see, to the blind and incessant search for the idyll that he lost in his day -the supreme love of
the other- and to paralysis, for living this idyll in fantasy.

"The most decisive contact I could have had in my life was mutilated, it didn't happen: the
experience of my mother's love. At an early age I realized that life would not have much to give
me, starting with breast milk. inside of the I was seen from 1, but Today I am clear that it was
the experience of a mother's love that I was looking for in the unconditional love of a woman"
Alexandre V.

"Withdraw from eroticism, from spontaneity, from play... for fear of losing what? Pleasure. Or
rather; I am afraid of not feeling anything, of being powerless or not liking it; that it is only an
obligation that I do not want. brand it meant It is a basic distrust in the natural abundance of
love, both mine and the other people." - Giulio M.

Loving the other for oneself: isolating oneself in the relationship

This character gives primacy to the intimate relationship, usually a romantic partner, but can
extend to some select friends or a spiritual teacher.
Hence, resulting in the derelict of the other dimensions of his life. (Although we can find sexual
E5 whose basic motivation is work or some political cause, which will make their partner the
primary object of their existence.)

As a miser, he wants the other person all for himself, in a bubble of intimacy from which he
excludes the rest. It is, of course, in the couple where this tendency is more expressed. The
sexual miser seeks a relationship that satisfies his ideal love fantasy, in which he can fully
express himself.

It is in the couple where he aspires to find his lair.

Greed holds him back, while sexual instinct pushes him toward the relationship; the (neurotic)
compromise solution is to isolate oneself in the intimate relationship.
Ideal of solitude versus ideal of the couple. The lack of vitality leads the E5 to a constant need
to be alone, in an attempt to recover lost energy and thus be able to assimilate their experience
with the other.

Human contact is what most wears out a Five, who cannot complete their experience with the
other at the moment it occurs; only later, in isolation.

"Of course, we are left alone, because we do not lower ourselves to the earthly and imperfect
loves of others, nor to relationships that we consider superficial. It would be a waste of time and
energy." - Giulio M.

Every Five harbors an ideal of solitude. The sexual five shares it, but resists it for another ideal,
that of a sacred, perfect, almost divine relationship and where the other does not make an
emotional demand. He feels a desire for seclusion and, at the same time, to love and be loved.

"Mavbe he didn't even need the woman there that much, just that feeling and confidence of
being loved. I felt like Henry David Thoreau living alone in his cabin in Walden. With his walks
through nature but with a passionate and intense heart like Nietzsche's. These were my dreams
when I started Philosophy in college:
to get in touch with my existential angst and stay in my solitary search, in seclusion. But I had to
have my girlfriend nearby to give me security and not let me feel loneliness in all its harshness
(as long as she didn't demand too much of me, of course)." Alexandre V.

Fearing being swallowed by their caregivers, children of this subtype protect themselves with
isolation, but continue to dream of it and feed on those crumbs - with a mother's love that, in
reality, is not enough. The feeling of scarcity linked to the lack of vitality is so great that, as an
adult. He is sexual imagines his partner as someone who can give him everything, fill him up
and rescue him, which justifies the almost divine character that this object of his desire must
possess. This illusory yearning for unconditional and absolute love is the source of all the rest of
your mistakes in life.

Eros in fantasy
Experiencing the tension between the need for solitude and the desire for relationship, the most
comfortable option for a sexual miser is isolation, and this is how Eros's call to relationship will
be satisfied through fantasy. The greedy accumulation is, here, of some romantic and sexual
fantasies that make up a surrogate relationship. A compensatory hyperstimulation is constituted
in pseudo-eroticism and pseudo-love, in the pretense of possessing love without actually
entering into the relationship, of experiencing the intensity of Eros independently of contact with
another real person.

The lack of vitality to deal with the demands of the other couples with the unreal nature of the
love they seek generates a strong attraction towards a symbolic experience of love. This excess
of fantasy, combined with its repression, results in the lack of fulfillment of desire.

"As a teenager I read many love stories, I fed on them. And I was living platonic love affairs as I
idealized my love life, trusting that I would experience a unique and perfect romance, that I
would marry a virgin, have eight children, and be a wonderful wife and mother.

Difficulty with concrete, real relationships

The reality is starkly different from his dreams. An amusing historical example of this situation is
the Confessions of Rousseau, a famous sexual E5.

The young thinker dreamed of Zulieta, the most desired courtesan in the region, and heavenly
fortune favored his muse. Full of poetry he wrote: "Never have pleasures so sweet been offered
to the heart and senses of a mortal." But already realizing how inexperienced and incapable he
was of acting up to his fantasies, fear invaded him and, in order not to be exposed to total
shame, "my eyes were opened and, in an impulse of survival, I told her that her breasts were
slightly disharmonious. To which she responded like a bolt of lightning, "Honey, give up. Quit
and dedicate yourself to mathematics.

"When he gave me the first kiss, my heart, which previously vibrated excessively, was no longer
present.
The feeling was that of a strong wind that had blown away everything I imagined. I was
deserted. I felt like a helpless child who had just woken up in an unknown place, with no one
around. I wanted, at all costs, to get out of there and go to my room as soon as possible. I can't
even say I was confused, with other conflicting feelings, because there was nothing. But, once
again alone at last, I could relive my dreams.

Honestly, I don't know how we managed to keep dating." - Maria Luiza F.

However, once the initial problems of the drama in which this romantic dreamer is involved are
overcome, if he fulfills his desire and stays with it, the sexual E5 will find himself in another
potentially enslaving situation: detachment from relationships that have already ended. To the
protective restriction against the danger of invasion and usurpation of his affective
"patrimony", corresponds, as a polarity, the attachment to a regressive state of fusion with the
other. It's hard for him to let go of what's over, and he can get stuck for a long time. The end of a
relationship is a great challenge for a sexual E5: the pain of abandonment, the fear of the future
and the weakness that arises from the loss of the fantasy will be obstacles to facing real life. A
healthy move would be not to indulge in new fantasies seeking to relieve pain in pseudo-vitality,
but to be realistic.

He first refuses to let something into his life, and then refuses to let it out (even the most
unhealthy): that is how impervious greed is to the sexual instinct. He lets himself be carried
away by the circumstances of life, waiting for the love that will grant him freedom. The person is
stagnant, life does not flow and there comes a time when what is inside rots, becomes ill and
thus further diminishes its vitality, in a vicious circle of passivity.

"I waited more than twenty years for a woman who never came. And in that time of waiting, I
found in fantasy and seduction, in alcohol and other narcotics - like exaggerated sex-an artifice
to replace her; while I kept waiting. I was running away at all costs from the responsibility of
making my life move; and got stuck." -Alexandre V.

"Until I was twenty-one, I remained alone, waiting for the ideal love. When I found the woman
who embodied the ideal and we got engaged, the relationship lasted only two years; she left
me. But I remained obsessively attached to her for the next ten years, trying to get her to come
back to me. Only then could I feel complete, I would give meaning to my existence... I put my
life in her hands." - Piero A.

One of the most painful and difficult to overcome traits in this greed is the lack of experience of
a sense of continuity in life and, consequently, the stripping in the sentimental relationship of
any sense of integrity and duration.

The sexual Is plunges here into a silent desperation in the face of the lack of meaning, a
consequence of the disunity of its parts.

The renunciation of love

The impression of poverty leads the miser to refrain from going to have and to protect what little
he has left: renunciation and retention at the same time. He clings to himself as compensation,
resigning himself and pseudo-gratifying himself with the bare minimum.

More difficult to understand is the role of a neurotic self-demand. Perfectionism is insatiable and
requires a herculean effort. But when it comes to the satisfaction of needs and desires, the ego
inverts itself and minimizes them to the point of renunciation. Greed removes all positive
experience from a person's life. It tyrannically restricts everything that could be translated as life,
abundance or spiritual peace. The miser not only retains what little he has, but structures
himself to sabotage any possibility of abundance and gratuity in life.

And when it comes to the instinct of union, pleasure and, why not, life, it blocks these
possibilities. The sexual E5 renounces love and rejects abundance, plenitude, and even
spontaneity.

The inner child is gradually destroyed by minimizing its own life, its enthusiasm and its freedom
of expression, in a slow and painful agony. At this time, the sexual instinct is already very
dysfunctional: the Eros is unrecognizable and works against itself.

The renunciation of greed pollutes the sexual instinct with the search for a fantastic encounter
that fits the mold of an idealized other. It is a self-sabotage, where it leaves the dimension of the
relationship, the concrete experience with your partner, in your attempt to rise above the human,
towards the sublime. Inevitably frustrated, he returns to resignation and renunciation, confirming
his sense of scarcity.

But as the sexual instinct continues to struggle, it returns to the opposite pole to require again,
and again an absolute satiety will be impossible to obtain. This is how the conflict is perpetuated
and becomes increasingly insecure, anxious and fragile, blow by blow more distant and
indifferent.

As Naranjo explains, quoting Karen Horney, an unhealthy abdication replaces an open hand to
gratification. For this to happen, it is necessary to emotionally disconnect. In this way the person
is not affected by events, but neither is he transformed by his experiences, he does not learn
from them. The sexual E5 is affected by this to the extreme in the love experience, where he
fails to assimilate and change with his experience, given the devastating impact it has on him.

"I am very sensitive and vulnerable, and I feel that this is a weakness. I am very open to being
hurt (maybe even willing) and with a love hurt I suffer a lot. I remain paralyzed in an arid
present, internally living a past that wasn't much, and begging in fantasy for a love that I didn't
have in its fullness. Until I end up integrating this negative experience into my self-concept: I
incorporate the wound, the weakness and the consequent feeling that loving is dangerous."
Alexandre V.
The sexual dimension is the most illuminating representation of the behavior of a sexual E5;
shows the spiritual poverty in which he lives. Her interpretations, and the consequent wrong
decisions, are an attempt to recover what can no longer be lived (a positive maternal
experience) which, directed towards the gap that she so wants to heal, serves only to
perpetuate her mendicant condition.

Greed is normally understood to hold back and not give oneself to others. Sexual greed is the
miserable attitude, and experience, of taking what little one thinks he has in order not to lose it,
stopping going to meet the other and not allowing the other to come to him and take away what
he barely achievement.

Now, if I'm afraid and I don't want to give myself up, what happens to the union drive? The
sexual E5 acts unaware of the contradiction between fear and desire. In the tension generated
between the passion to retain and the relational imperative required by Eros, the solution he
finds, as grotesque as it may seem, is an "implicit kidnapping and captivity" of the idealized
person chosen as the object of his love and dedication.
This is a blind spot for the simple reason that the sexual Is confuses love and relationship with
possession and exclusivity.

2. The characteristic neurotic need

Our neurotic traits are those ways of defending ourselves against suffering that we learned at an
early age, and that change with each enneatype. The pain of abandonment and not being
recognized in natural erotic needs, in spontaneity and in animal expression, together with the
lack of respect for his privacy -with an invasive mother and an absent father- were the most
painful wounds for the sexual E5 as a child. He lost confidence in his mother, in his father, in
himself and in life. And, in an attempt to heal this wound, he will make trust the central theme of
his affective life, with idealization as the most striking feature. He is looking for someone who
corresponds one hundred percent to his ideal of trust, an unattainable requirement.

The Trust
The neurosis of confidence has two forms of manifestation or, in other words, it can be
understood from two complementary perspectives.

First, it is the demand that the other fully trust and correspond to his ideal of perfection. Second,
it is a complete trust in the other. This idealization of intimacy is typified as an intimacy neurosis.

This extraordinary need for trust is the result of the invasion of the sexual instinct by the passion
of greed. It is still a "reverse trust", since taking possession of the other contradicts the act of
trusting him. Fear forces him to make sure that he is being loved, that he is not being betrayed;
and then imprisons the couple. The confidence that the sexual E5 seeks is totally insane. It is
the madness of trusting that a prisoner will accept you back.
And there is yet another "prison" that hinders the truth. To encounter: the struggle with oneself,
the struggle between trust and intimacy against the difficulty of trusting and making intimate
contact.
(In the end, a conflict between invading and being invaded.)

It sounds strange to talk about invasion and being invaded when it comes to a Five. And, in fact,
the sexual, like the other subtypes of the E5, has an aversion to invading and being invaded.

However, in the intimate relationship the situation is reversed and the aversion is transformed
into imperative desire. The person of this character invades the intimacy of others and also
wants to be
"invaded in his intimacy for guarantee" and to czar his vital need: trust.

He knows unconsciously that it is not in the other that he will find this place. Even so, he needs
a confidence above normal, the confidence that the other will repair his loss of being. It is
visceral fear with visceral hope: creating total chaos.

The act of trusting is constituted as a counterphobic attitude to deal with fear and his "ghosts
(the other), because he longs to give himself something whole, despite the fear of losing himself
in that surrender. It is not bravery but the recklessness, almost suicidal, of an unreal maneuver,
like a child who enters the lion's cage believing that it is enough to cover his eyes to be safe.

Here operates the defense mechanism that psychoanalysis calls identification with the
aggressor. The other intimate is, potentially, an imminent and fatal danger for a sexual E5 yet
he surrenders to him anyways with maximum openness. Confidence is, in a way, "free" of fear;
it serves as a diversion from real fear.

We have already seen that a strong characteristic of sexual greed is possession: seizing
another's intimacy. This is not the explicit invasion or possession that we see in sexual E8 or
E6. It is, like any sexual attitude, a silent movement that is not clearly visible, to satisfy the sick
need for intimacy.

The intimacy
The E5 sexual is moved by the desire for intimacy with his partner or with his select friends.

But it is unattainable: their relationships do not reflect true interaction, and this leads to a lack of
genuine intimacy. The longing for intimacy consists of the desire to become fully known by the
other in the deepest part of himself - again, the unattainable -, in contrast to his fear of going to
the depths of himself. And the other has to be totally available to be known too.

This "open and trusting" attitude is actually pure distrust. In order to trust, the sexual E5 needs
to know everything about the other. The couple must present themselves in the most perfect
transparency and open to total intimacy. Excessive trust and intimacy feed off each other
negatively.
The person of this character has to know that he is not being betrayed or about to be
abandoned.

Because of this intimacy, he will know everything that happens to the other, including his most
secret desires. Try to live in a hyperconscious state of fusion with your partner; intimacy gives
the guarantee for this trust.
Confidence creates an illusion of affective abundance and unconditional love: surrendering to
trust the other absolutely is an incorrect form of surrender (greed).

Fantasy is to be divinely loved for another human being and, knowing the sexual weakness of
this in a dream, tries to "produce" this trust more and more.
And place the other on a divine pedestal. Now, by divinizing a being that is not divine, there will
never be a true encounter, and even less the reparation of the damage suffered in childhood.

Moving away from himself, he looks outside for what is available in his intimacy with himself:
true trust and true love. Ultimately, it is an attempt to reconnect with the Being, but sought in
another where he supposes his salvation should be.

"In childhood I experienced the precariousness of life (illnesses, abandonment and invasion)
and the lack of love and protection. And I discovered in my recollection a way to protect myself,
and in my fantasy, a way of living and waiting for that love, idealized."
- Alexandre V.

Throughout his life, the sexual E5 will wait for someone who fills him with absolute love and
utopian trust. This might even occur with a spiritual teacher. Even the divine is contaminated by
this idealization.

"Today, the wait for romantic love is no longer the main focus of my life. I dare say I was able to
integrate this into myself. What I am looking for now is a greater intimacy and trust with God and
really knowing who I am. But I must admit that the expectation, "the taste and feeling I imagine I
will have in this meeting (with God), remains the same as before, when he devoted himself to
the search for the eternal in a woman."
-Alexandre V.

In addition to exempting from fear, Trust therefore divinizes the couple, operating as a mask that
transforms the other into someone from another world. Now, as a mask, it prevents the true
contact and knowledge of the other. It is about the limit of the schizoid defense in the sexual E5.

The desire to entrust your being 100% to the other brings up the fear of losing yourself. With the
result of a constant internal conflict imbued by the feeling of guilt: The E5 sexual knows, albeit
unconsciously, that this state of trust is impermanent and illusory and that the trust he seeks in
the other where he has to find it is in himself. In addition, this apparent total surrender, as well
as the illusion of an immeasurable love, is fragile, since the person knows that he is not as
trustworthy as his own ideal of trust demands, and that his supposed love does not have the
scope of his fantasy either.

Take as an example the story of Chopin and George Sand. The pianist, Cinco sexual,
demanded Sand's absolute love, but his heart was already Delfina Potocka's. This superficial
intimacy, impregnated with fear and distrust, reveals a contact without real interaction.

We find a contradiction here: In this "having someone for him" drama, to what extent of intimacy
does the sexual want? Moreover, to what extent do you want a relationship? Since its two
fundamental aspects - trust and intimacy - are revealed as tyranny and hell in the interaction of
the sexual. The need for trust and its consequent intimacy -motivation and primary meaning in
the life of the sexual Five- are revealed precisely as their great deficiency, and even their great
lie: the flight from true intimacy and an authentic encounter.

Given the sense of discontinuity in life and the internal fragmentation and compartmentalization
of Greed, we can understand this demand for intimacy as the sexual E5's attempt to reconnect
its isolated inner parts. The
function of the sexual instinct is to unite, to reconnect.

And through the exacerbated intimacy promoted by greed, a certain illusion of symbiosis
emerges. The fact of intimately penetrating and being penetrated by the other-being united
gives the sensation of union of the parts themselves disconnected from each other,
starting with the body itself. At the same time, it is an attempt at detachment, at getting out of
oneself. But then the attachment to the idealized other begins, this other frightens him, and it
starts all over again, in a vicious circle.

"My life is placed in the hands of those with whom I establish a strong emotional bond. It is with
them that I can perceive something of myself with more clarity and less fragmentation and get
out of the false images that I fantasize about reality. But I get lost in this and the other person
has no way of giving me as much access and I, at a certain point, can't be as intimate with them
either.

Trust is like a sieve: a lot of intimacy and suddenly nothing. The confidence balance is always
zero, there is always a deficit. Then your life goes on with zero confidence. And in another
meeting, again you can feel intimacy again; and then zero again." Anonymity.

The neurosis of trust sustains the illusion of paradise (substitute for being). It also provides the
illusion of a fusion with that absolute and unconditional love. But it is a form of blindness.

And, furthermore, it is mistrust. It is infidelity to himself, lack of intimacy with himself, not finding
the source of love within himself. The sexual E5 does not trust that love is available (because of
his greed, that he has little) and transforms the other into the source of love, through Intimacy (a
distorted Eros). Ultimately, it is an attempt to return to the path of his deepest being, which is the
space of sacred intimacy that the sexual E5 seeks so much; unfortunately, not in himself, but
with the other, in an insane way.

The great mistake of the sexual E5 is to promote confidence as a substitute for superior feeling
(the one that leads to the depths, to deep intimacy with one's own being and, ultimately, with the
sacred). The misunderstanding is aggravated by demanding this sacredness from the person in
whom he placed this trust.

The story that follows gives us a notion of these deviations and mistakes made when trying to
find the path to being. It is a childhood testimony, after a numinous experience in the forest:

I had one of those life-changing experiences an experience with the numinous, as Carl Jung
would say-that some children tend to have. I was ten years old and not a particularly happy
man. Since I was little, I felt a slight almost perennial sadness, and I was totally disconnected
from the world around me.

We were in the mountains, accompanied by other families. I joined the boys to play cowboys
and Indians, and they chose me as an Indian. As I ran and hid, I felt deeply connected with the
trees, with the river; with the leaves on the ground, in short, with nature. I was filled with
immense joy and the certainty of being part of everything that surrounded me. It was a vague
sense of power and security, of "coming home" and resting in peace.

The colors seemed more vivid and I perceived a greater luminosity in the forest. I ran through
the trees and dove into the river.

I lost track of time and forgot about the game. I spent a few days in ecstasy. I was euphoric,
ecstatic without having a apparent reason, in love with not a person.

Shortly after; I was assailed by existential helplessness; I felt a lot of loneliness, even
accompanied, and a feeling of being suspended in a desert limbo. As if I were condemned to
live this helplessness forever; as if life were that and there was no way out.

And so was the rest of my childhood and adolescence.

The cure for that suffering came when I fell in love for the first time. I felt that loving and being
loved without restrictions brought me back to the mvstical experience of childhood, so that I
made being in love divine; and divinize that woman. It was what sustained me. It strengthened
me and gave me confidence to face life, with my sad depression and family crises. Being in love
protected me.

At the age of sixteen I lived through the climax of my life's script: at the height of my emotional
chaos, an overwhelming infatuation invaded me for two decades, unrequited. In fact, not being
reciprocated has been the script of my life.
"Being in love and cultivating admiration for that girl supported and strengthened me in all the
other aspects of my life, in the fantasy of being loved and saved. This platonic love oscillated at
times between the sadness of not being loved by her and the almost idyllic state of feeling it so
strongly. My life practically boiled down to that (everything else was unimportant). I became a
seeker to seek relief and meaning from the pain that was consuming me." - Alexandre V.

3. Interpersonal strategies & associated irrational ideas

Isolation is the fixation (distorted cognitive core) of all E5's. But what vision of the world does the
sexual miser construct? What defense mechanisms does it develop? And what are the irrational
ideas associated with such a fixation?

Isolation is the incorrect cognitive program for which the five believes that it is better not to enter
into a relationship with himself or with the other or with the world, while convincing himself that
independence is the condition that allows him to live. Better loneliness than losing energy and
what little you have.

For the person of this character, entering into a relationship is always losing, emotionally and
materially, because the world always asks for something and he, who already has little, would
be left with nothing, without life. In childhood he had the experience of being invaded and
manipulated and has become convinced that love is just wear and tear. This belief is associated
with a mistrust in relationships. The E5 seeks a neurotic peace that is not true peace but an
emotional anesthesia, a cold indifference.

In the sexual subtype, the neurotic passion to trust reveals, deep down, a great need for love
and a great distrust, because in order to trust he idealizes the love encounter so much that he
never trusts it. With this, he develops a rigid conviction that there is no love for him.

Internal defense strategies

Four defense mechanisms stand out in Greed: emotional isolation, psychic
compartmentalization, primitive idealization, and the pathological detachment resulting from the
first three. We will present each one of them, as well as the form they take when they affect the
sexual instinct.

Emotional isolation is to separate between the emotional experience and that of the intellect,
which is given total primacy to the detriment of affectivity. In any situation where an intense
emotional content could emerge, the defense of intellectualization will come up: symbolically
living the experiences fleeing from feeling, which is replaced by fantasizing.

The defense of isolation was the emergency solution to the scarcity of the mother figure. The
child, in order not to feel the pain of this lack of a mother, tries to forget the emotional warmth
and pleasure derived from maternal proximity and care. This forgetfulness, together, in many
cases, with a distant relationship with the father, leads him to distance himself from his own
needs.
The emotional relationship with the other occurs, most of the time, in an internalized and
symbolic way. It is almost always a purely cognitive experience, fantasies, mainly. Physical
distancing is just a consequence of emotional isolation.

Psychic compartmentalization is dividing psychic life into compartments separated from each
other by thick walls. Opposite contents thus coexist in consciousness without the person being
aware of their contradictions.
One of the effects of this defense is the inability to deal with more than one problem at a time.

Other people have the capability to simultaneously complete multiple projects simultaneously.
This can be seen in the vital restriction that the sexual E5 imposes on itself, either due to
exaggerated dedication to a project (or partner), or due to abandonment of it and, above all, due
to the difficulty in finding an overall, integrated and balanced, in his relationship with the world,
with the other or with himself.

Let us now consider the third defense mechanism: primitive idealization. While the conservation
subtype looks for an uncontaminated and idealized place (the cave), and the social one, a
"quintessence" of meaning (the totem), the sexual one looks for the perfect woman or man for a
perfect relationship too - or a perfect teacher. on their spiritual path, as well as a harmonious
and nurturing relationship with nature-, in terms of maternal affective experience. In all cases,
seek an absolute, perfect and unlimited experience with profane, imperfect and limited objects;
something unattainable.

He looks for, in his "idealized" characteristics, opposite to those he knew in his childhood with
the parental figures. Or something positive that you experienced but felt was insufficient.

For example, if he had a mother who was both invasive and abandoned, who constantly made
him perceive life and relationships as precarious and dangerous, now he will look for a woman
who, at the same time, is his lover and fairy godmother, a Virgin who understand it and nurture it
deeply.

And if he had a distant father, who did not give him confidence in his abilities, he will now look
for a perfect and infallible guide, who knows how to instill in him all the self-love that dad did not
know how to give him. Of course, he will never meet that person because idealization is
associated with narcissism: the idealized loved object is nothing more than a reflection of
himself; and in this way he will end up confirming his loneliness and his relational distance.

Like emotional isolation, the search for the perfect partner remains at the level of pure fantasy,
with some affective experiences but chaotic, isolated, without integration with the intellect.

Given his psychic fragmentation, the sexual E5 will concentrate so much on the search for an
absolutely restorative relationship with others: only the idealized partner has value for him.
Interpersonal strategies
Let's look at the three ways the sexual E5 attracts, maintains, and ends relationships.

The mother of all strategies; concealment. There is one strategy that, so to speak, stands
behind all the others that the Sexual E5 employs to seek relationships, to maintain them, to
sabotage them: Virtually no strategy is explicit, it rarely goes directly after its desires, expressing
itself openly. In general, their strategies are hidden, waiting for the other to come to meet them.

"This is how I related to the boys, carefully choosing the one I considered the most perfect
among all of them. But I never came close to expressing my feelings. He cultivated relationship
after relationship, made up of furtive glances and some visual exchange. He let them take the
initiative. She knew how to wait in the wings while he performed." - Maria Luisa F.

"I am more active than I seem: I manipulate the other so that he comes to meet me. There is a
seduction that approaches the other without it seeming." _ Maria G.

This strategy reveals irrational ideas, which arise from the scarcity of affection, internal
resources to deal with the concrete other. This lack gives rise to undervaluation and the typical
arrogance, in contrast, the fear of abandonment and betrayal, and their feeling of not having
rights in this life.

The strange strategy of E5 sexual, a mixture of distancing and counterphobia, fits into the
phrase «being together without being together». With his strong desire for contact and standing
out, this character demands trust and (neurotic) intimacy with his chosen one. Now, emotional
distance is his way of safeguarding internal balance, and this involves physical distance. In this
dichotomy of distance versus close contact, the crazy idea is: "It's safer to be alone, even
though I can't be alone.

"It was a strategy that I developed very early in life, as a way of not being as attacked by my
mother's yelling and outbursts, as well as my brother's invasions. of all in my adolescence I
thought that this distance was something positive, wise. So, I adopted this attitude as an ideal of
life.

Today I realize that I became a mere spectator and that I did not live the life of relationships that
I so dreamed of." - Alexandre V.

"There is, of course, the fear of losing the other when the relationship is already established, but
also a strong desire not to suffer interference in my way of being and thinking. Sometimes it is
simply the desire not to be interrupted while thinking or doing something. In these
circumstances, I "leave" my body there, while my head is kept busy with what I wanted to do." -
Maria Luisa F.

Such an interpersonal strategy of distancing from the other may sound very paradoxical to the
idea of a relationship because, as we saw in chapters 1 and 2, how can there be a relationship
when one of the parties wants to be far away due to fear, which generates distance? Even with
the strong desire to be close. The sexual E5 cannot relate. How to reconcile that of the sexual
instinct?

The counterphobic attitude of totally opening up to another when he thinks he has found the one
who is supposed to fill him, is the way out found by the sexual miser.

This character stays close and afraid, a fear that does not per not receives a lot, which results in
anxiety and unconscious internal conflicts. As a result of the contradictory being together
without being together, it combines aggressive anti-invasion and anti-abandonment protection
with its need for togetherness. The sexual E5 does not find a balance between surrender and
protection. It remains, either in the total darkness of distancing or in the blindness promoted by
the "luminous" excess of surrender. Strategies to attract; acceptance and belonging

The marketing of arrogance

He brings the other closer with the marketing of arrogance, a subtle form of seduction that
intimidates the other when he tries to get closer until, at the slightest sign of opening on the part
of the sexual E5, he falls into his clutches. Often the relationship will remain in these terms of
dominator / dominated.

"There were several people who, after beginning some type of relationship, told me about the
fear they felt when they approached me. I, in fact, also wanted to get closer, but I felt that it must
be difficult to access. It was, deep down, fear of expressing my desire to be with someone and
being rejected. I can't bear to feel vulnerable. Alexandre V.

The mask of the sage

Another strategy to attract is the mask of the sage, of the philosopher who, thanks to his
superior virtues, has achieved such a balance that he is not disturbed by human affairs like
ordinary people. In other words, he uses his neurotic trait of detachment by implying that he is
the balanced fruit of spiritual labor. It hides that it is a defensive facade with which it
camouflages its clumsiness and social insufficiency. He passes off his pathological dispassion
(made of coldness and indifference to the need of the other) for a healthy one, with an
imperceptible fear of being exposed from one moment to another, like an impostor. The
associated irrational idea is: «If they saw me as I really am, in my human normality, they would
reject me», or even: «If I showed my emotions, they would make fun of me».

"When I started teaching yoga, it was clear to me that I was selling the "guru" image. My
students saw me as a very determined person, they admired me for the serenity that emanated,
for my calm... They would never have suspected that I was tormented, dissatisfied, insecure,
and that I knew much less than what I let on. Because of this discrepancy between the image,
he was presenting and my inner experience, I knew he was a liar and felt very guilty about it.
That was how, for fear of being discovered, I became more and more hardened in my role as a
sage, increasing the distance between them and I.'- Piero A.
The rebellion
The sexual E5 is often presented as a rebel, also to attract. A reserved rebel, without fuss; it
hardly comes out in its being outside the socially established. An anchored rebellion results in a
critical, aggressive isolation that betrays great mistrust. He feels different from the others,
sometimes superior, sometimes inferior, and follows the strategy of living on the periphery.

Examples of this are Rousseau and Nietzsche, ra, and they preferred an isolated life, and yet
they demanded relationships that both they criticized society and culture intensely and attracted
precisely because of their rebellious ideas and attitudes.

"Bevond my shyness and the lack of financial resources to be able to dress up and go out with
the boys at my school, whom, moreover; in many ways I couldn't stand, I discovered that, being
the opposite of them, certain people, few sought contacts with me.

Even so, I did not stop feeling inferior to those people I criticized and I tried to hide this feeling
from myself, showing myself different, as superior. Ci in There is rebellion against social
conventions and "formal" behaviors. Experienced only internally (and rarely externalized), it has
a triple function: It protects me from the feeling of "constriction and invasion" that I experience
when I am forced to follow behaviors that I have not approved of and whose meaning I do not
understand; it allows me to feel superior and judge the uncritical ways of the "herd of sheep";
and I distinguish myself through this "different" behavior:" - Michele C.

The irrational ideas associated with these relationship dynamics are: "Others do not understand
me", "I am special", "it is better not to speak because they will not understand me either" and
"they are not up to my standards."

Intellectual or artistic seduction

There could not be without a strategy of intellectual or artistic seduction. He is sexual, very
mental and with a somewhat chaotic emotional life, he harbors the strong belief that, through his
knowledge, with which he tries to organize his world, he will attract the other, who will thus be
able to love and admire him.

It is common for people of this subtype to do something artistic. They also act motivated by the
irrational idea that "I can only be loved if I do something special." If you have any kind of charm.
We find here one of the most ingrained crazy ideas in his psyche: confusing love with
enchantment.

Dynamics very similar to that of the sexual E7, with the difference that this one invests a lot of
energy to convince how special it is, while the five idealizes that other that one day will discover
him as a special being; meanwhile he saves his energy and is paralyzed.
"When I was twenty-four years old my first girlfriend left me, I ran away to India because of the
pain, and I spent months there writing poems.
In my naive grandiosity, I narcissistically fantasized about becoming a famous "cursed poet" and
that she, by reading and admiring me, would eventually come back to me. My "art" was just a
tool of seduction designed to win back my beloved." - Michele C.

"I ended up realizing my rebellion through art as well: it is very easy for me to make art when I
am free to create on my own, but if there is a commission, a deadline, a client, everything
becomes impossible, too much effort. I can't focus on the other's desire. It becomes a "must"
and I don't do it anumore." - Mara G.

Seduction with force

Another way to attract is to show yourself strong and without needs. The sexual E5 plays the
role of listener, psychologist, who can support and sustain. It is the intimate friend to whom you
reveal your deepest secrets. However, he does not trust; the associated crazy idea is: "If I am
fragile and needy, no one will be able to hold me." In fact, he has never experienced being
listened to and understood emotionally and mentally, and therefore does not "know" that this is
possible.

But because he is driven by a desire for intimacy, he is ready to listen and offer his support.

His psychological autonomy, therefore, he uses seductively. In this way he gains admiration
while maintaining detachment from his true need for power. go to become emotionally
emotional, and that it does not allow itself to.

"They have always considered me the best friend, the confidant to whom they reveal the most
intimate secrets. I learned this role of the good listener very early, with my mother; who always
praised my sensitivity and said that I was the only one capable of understanding her: But she
didn't listen to me, so I never learned what it means to be able to open up and feel understood."
- Piero A.

Another irrational belief is so ingrained in her that it is invisible to her: If I show my fragility, I will
break. The sexual E5, not having received adequate maternal affective support, is dominated by
the anguish of fragmentation. His decision was not to feel the emotions, because there was no
one on the other side to pick them up. He doesn't feel them and he doesn't show them.

Strategies to maintain relationships

The relational structure of the sexual E5 is based on the «lack», the «scarcity» and the desire to
satisfy his lacks, to let himself fall into the arms of the other from the need for something that he
does not have, which reflects and reinforces their feeling of inferiority.

Meanwhile, he will try to compensate for his lacking self-image with some inflationary artifice of
his ego, which will sometimes result in competition with the other and, as always, in a covert
way. Usually, it seeks to demonstrate a superiority of knowledge or a certain quality of being
emotionally untouchable, of invulnerability.
This strategy is a way of gaining power in relationships, reaching out to your select group of
friends, your idealized partner, and even professional relationships, again in quiet arrogance.
There is a halo of resentment, an irrational idea that "needing the other is a form of humiliation."
And another, even crazier: «By competing and trying to show that I am superior, I will overcome
my lack and the fear of abandonment»; a defensive counterphobia against his invalidating
feeling of inferiority.

"I felt emotionally dependent, I had no professional success, I lived in an existential morass;
until one day, in a marital crisis, my wife expressed that she was trying to be the best she could
and that she always felt diminished by my side. That was my lie and my protection, because
"you are so evolved." That was my lie and my protection." - Alexandre V.

"I remember an argument with my husband - banal-, and I began to distance myself and think:
"What am I doing?" And I just shut up. He looked at me and said, "Aren't you going to defend
your point of view?" And I replied, arrogantly: "No! I know I'm right!" - Maria G.

The sexual E5 seeks to flee from conflicts, an exact need for harmony, since he does not have
the strength to confront and it is difficult for him to contact his aggressiveness, which he
imagines destructive. The confrontational presence of the other takes him out of his axis,
destabilizes him and makes him give up on himself and let himself be carried away by
circumstances. He prefers to give up his needs and desires, due to the irrational belief that «if I
confront, I will be abandoned», which makes explicit the crazy idea «I have no right to demand».

Inevitably, the flight from conflict leads to a strategy of adaptability. By not confronting, he gives
too much room to the needs of the other, pretending to show true dedication, when this is not
the case.

"Upon my father's death, I had a violent dispute with my sister. For two months we didn't speak
to each other; and he even threatened not to come to my wedding. Even though I was right and
she was wrong, I still felt guilty. In the end I was the one who looked for her for fear of losing
her.

In conflicts I do not recognize the right to demand or ask: I always justify the other, because I
imagine that their needs are more important than mine." - Michele C.

"The avoidance of conflicts does not occur when I consider that I am justly respecting some
fundamental rights that concern me and that affect my dignity or freedom. And the conflict is
then presented as an intellectual or cunning challenge, not as a direct confrontation based on
the ability to impose myself as a person" - Piero A.

This neurotic adaptability coexists with the irrational belief that "it is better to withdraw than to try
to adapt," behind which lies yet another crazy idea: "The other does not matter so much, with
his needs." Of course, their own are not so important either, because the need that governs is
that neurotic, of trust and intimacy, that "taking possession of the other's soul." From there he
can abdicate the rest of his needs and adapt, which comes to exempting him from responsibility
for his own life. Provided, of course, that other comes with few demands. And this is how his
existential condition is perpetuated: being next to another but creating his own loneliness.

"I always considered it taboo to be selfish and unavailable. Very often I said "yes" when I really
wanted to say "no", agreeing to do things for the other that I did not want. I was unable to
refuse.
As a result, I felt trapped in the relationship. The only possibility was to get away and keep my
distance, out of reach of their requests." - Piero A.

This submission is only apparent since, in a conflict, the sexual Five remains hidden, silently
judging and quietly belittling the other, to compensate for their excessive adaptability.

The sexual Five cannot admit contradictory feelings and attitudes within the relationship. He
does not understand, for example, that there can be love and aggression in the same person,
since his own aggressiveness remains repressed and unconscious. Here is another reflection of
the psychic split: it is not capable of integrating aspects opposites of the other, nor does he
perceive his own and, above all, he does not know how to deal with the emotional. A sexual E5
may coexist, inconsistently, with "cold" and "rationalizing" attitudes, but when it comes to
emotions, he loses his balance. And, as always, remains silent.

This unconscious aggressiveness ultimately becomes a critical attitude and judgment, turning
the sexual E5 into someone predisposed to resentment, who cannot let go and let events pass.

The cowardice of not confronting denotes the idea of having few rights in life, but there is an
even greater cowardice, by not giving the other the opportunity to defend himself, explain
himself or redeem himself, making it difficult for an agreement and a mature relationship
between the parties. Acting this way, in an attempt to maintain the relationship, is the beginning
of your sabotage.

"With some important friends in my life that I argued with, I just listened to their arguments and
then left. As simple as that: walk away, without mentioning the subject anymore and not looking
for them again. Two of them I never saw again. It was a strong disappointment, a
disenchantment that depressed me for several days. Afterwards, the person was definitely
eliminated." - Mara G.

"Instead of honestly expressing my disagreement, I hold back. In this way, I accumulate so

many "unsaid" things that in the end it becomes impossible to get them out: I am too full of
resentment and I am afraid that I will not be able to control my anger. To a certain extent I
renounce the relationship, I kill the other in silence without him noticing anything." - Michele C.

Strategies that sabotage relationships

It is easy to see that a sexual E5 is seeking a self-enclosed relationship. And once conquered, it
also makes it difficult for a pact of alliance (implicit, of course) of trust and intimacy, as well as
demand and infallibility Con the part of the other, of course). <<I will be your friend, yes; but our
relationship must be perfect. You can't let me down.>>

If the pact of trust is broken, the sexual E5 is isolated and destroys the relationship.

"When my partner shows that he is not my ideal of perfection, after a period of blind
dependence I begin to lose interest: I am losing love. I implicitly have a fantasy that "if she's not
perfect, she's not right for me." If she falls off the divine pedestal that I myself created to place
her on, then I tend to cut her off from my feelings and admiration." - Alexandre V.

With this mechanism of demand and annihilation, the sexual E5 closes the way to a more
human form of love. Since this experience was lacking in his life, he idealizes it. And this is how
the opportunity to experience something more real is lost. This implicit pact where he demands
perfection, with the consequent failure of the other to meet such expectations, leads the sexual
E5 to the solution of lack of love. This strategy to avoid the pain of being hurt, betrayed, or
abandoned is an attitude of withdrawal. With revenge for the disappointment of frustrated
expectations and the crazy idea of: « You don't deserve my unconditional love; you didn't buy it
with your effort. And since he didn't earn it, I shouldn't give it to him for free."

"It is extremely difficult to accept the other as he is: his moods, inconsistencies and, above all,
the fact that he does not live only for me. I am very slow to trust the other; but very quick to
eliminate trust. In the relationship with the Master (and with the therapist) I do not let myself be
guided. As soon as I get too confident, I'm ready to find flaws that devalue him, that in my
defensive idealization he must be "perfect," above all strong and directive, qualities my father
didn't have. I withdraw my admiration, devalue it and walk away. This satisfies my neurotic need
to maintain a safe distance."- Piero A.

Another way, finally, in which the E5 sabotages the relationship is through an excess of
transparency. He confesses everything about himself, even the negative behaviors that could
play against him the most. He behaves like a child with an absolutely good mother who is
allowed to tell him everything, because in her infinite expectation she will always forgive him and
accept him unconditionally.

So, in the couple relationship, the sexual man reveals his betrayals and infidelities, or even
simply his intention to be unfaithful to go with other women, or also his fears and doubts related
to not loving the partner (absolutely, as he would like).

Now, this excess of truth is, in reality, a false transparency, a misunderstanding of what true
transparency would be or a healthy intimacy between adults, where there are borders and limits
that must be respected. Such excess of transparency is an ambivalent behavior because, by
exposing himself so much, what the sexual E5 does is challenge and test the couple. She's
asking him to stay no matter what: "Even if I'm not sure I love you completely, you love me just
the same, right? You'll stay with me, won't you? And, at the same time, he encourages him to
leave it: I have told you everything and I have a clear conscience.
If you leave me, it's your decision, not mine." He will thus have the perfect excuse to be alone
again, again in search of an ideal and unattainable love.

In any case, keep an emotional distance. The E5 sexual, in fact, by telling everything to the
other he apparently gives himself up but in reality, he escapes, hides and takes responsibility,
avoids choosing and taking a position. The crazy idea is that full transparency can spare you the
triple responsibility of feeling what you feel, trusting what you want, and deciding.

4. Other characteristic traits and psychodynamic considerations

Fragile body in a nonconformist spirit

With sexual children, it is common to hear stories of a first childhood of suffering, not only due to
the emotional impact of the parents but also due to physical fragility.

One person recounts that at the age of ten months he suffered from a severe allergy, which
almost led to his death, due to spoiled powdered milk. Breast milk had been withdrawn at three
months, and there was inaugurated little physical contact and a life marked by illness.

These reports of early loss of contact with the mother associated with the experience of being
very close to death are common. Thinkers of this subtype like Wordsworth and Rousseau lost
their mothers when they were still children. And both the French thinker and Chopin had
childhoods marked by illness and closeness to death. The Polish musician and his sister were
taken, as children, by a very strong flu, which resulted in her death. From then on, for Chopin, it
was as if death was always at his side.

In the same proportion as this physical fragility, there is an intense desire for power: the sexual
E5 does not accept his fragile condition.

In need of harmony, to flee to nature

Since contact with the other destabilizes the sexual E5, an inhospitable environment can be
lethal. The person of this character, due to his fear of being swallowed, needs the contact to
translate into a harmonious environment.

The aforementioned Chopin from an early age isolated himself to play the piano and, in the end,
as there was harmony in George Sand's house, he enjoyed a happy and productive life. Sand
was more of a mother to Chopin than a lover, and she hardly demanded of him.

The sexual E5 finds much of this harmony in contact with nature, his divine muse, with whom,
yes, he maintains a unilateral relationship, favored by the silence of his inspirer. He will also
seek a refuge in nature to organize his inner chaos. Nature becomes the idealized 'woman' or
'man', where she believes she will find answers to her questions.
"This was how I managed to forget the chaos of my family life and "empty" some of the passion
I felt for a girl." - Alexandre V.

Arid and at the same time hypersensitive

Given its retention, when a sexual E5 tries to express himself authentically, what he finds is very
dry. Alongside the disconnection of feeling, there is the idea that to feel is to explode, to lose
oneself, perhaps even to die.

And at the same time, it presents a hypersensitivity that does not coincide with its arid and
distant appearance, a by-product of the low vitality of the body and spirit.

"If I am very open to what is happening around me, I suffer a lot. I spare myself that sensitivity
with a neck split that separates my emotions from thought.' _ Mara G.

In fact, such a low threshold for physical and emotional pain is the backdrop for an almost
deserted posture of feeling. The sexual Five prefers not to enter a field that can evoke their
most primal pains. And this is how aridity and hypersensitivity feed off each other. It is as if there
was an extreme pain somewhere in himself that, if revived, he could not bear and would pay
with his life.

Easily destabilized
The feeling that his resources are so scarce leads him to succumb to the other. Anyone who
appears in his way tactfully makes him lose with his own desires. The other destabilizes the
sexual E5.

"I lose myself in front of the other. I withdraw from my internal axis; I find myself facing external
demands that exhaust me and I feel the need to isolate myself to recharge my batteries. It is my
need for solitude." - Mara G.

The person of this character was so invaded in his childhood that even today he lives with the
feeling of that exposure -and the weakness to defend himself- and stays in the rear so that they
do not invade him too much in a phagocytizing contact.

Nostalgic
Nostalgia has tied the sexual E5, stagnant by an excessive attachment to the past that prevents
him from assuming responsibility for his life and moving forward. He lives in the nostalgia of
enlightened times that no longer exist, and perhaps did not even exist, full of idealizations.

He finds no joy in living, no lightness in being sexual, no brilliance. He doesn't indulge in

playfulness; he doesn't play and he doesn't value little things (because they don't belong to the
divine sphere).
"Nostalgia, eternal nostalgia that always consumed me," he said Chopin, who had lived in Paris
from a very young age, but people from Poland were always the source of his images and pen
feelings. "Twilight": that's what they called the states of mood of the composer.

Helpless
Existential helplessness is present from childhood.
"Sometimes I was playing and suddenly the world disappeared under my feet. I lost ground. It
was sudden and brief but I felt extremely lonely."-Alexandre V.

"Helplessness seems so common to me that I feel as if it were the covers me It's like having no
skin."- Mara G.

Does not assert its place in the world

One of the consequences of his psychic split is the neglect of the social and professional
dimensions, where he is doomed to a routine and simple life. The desire for external freedom, a
reflection of the lack of internal freedom, cannot be satisfied and is then transformed into the
opposite features of systematicity and rigidity, similar to those of the E1.

He has succumbed to the neurosis of financial security and the comfort of an institution, while
remaining with a boiling heart and excessive fantasy as compensation for a routine life, as well
as a desire to always go somewhere else.

Until the age of forty-six, ten years before he died, Nietzsche worked hard in solitude and
anonymity. He pressed himself cruelly because he could no longer bear his lack of recognition.
Just like Rousseau, at thirty-eight still a "nobody," as he was called. Inside there was an
indomitable spirit, but he had not been able to affirm his place in the world.

"At the moments when I realize how much I closed my life off from friendships and from my
work, which is the reality from which I was fleeing, through refuge and fantasy. In the end, I
ended up doing little concretely, and when I look back a "feeling of urgency" comes over me. It's
like looking back and seeing a gap between what I'm being right now and what I've been in my
life, with a lack of "continuity." I realize that I lived in a kind of "forgetfulness" of myself and that
now that this is the case I have to run. And again, there is a very strong call to enter the world of
fantasy and inactivity, as if everything was already lost." Alexandre V.

Worthless
An outstanding trait of Greed is not feeling worthy, due to a lack of vitality to face challenges.
This, in the sexual instinct, coexists with excessive and grandiose fantasy. The result: unrealistic
and unfinished projects. The E5 sexual easily renounces his life projects. «I rarely completed
what I set out to do», «I never delved into anything I did».

An abyss of oblivion opens between planning and acting: a great gap between fantasy and
action.
In his thinking, he manages to maintain a level of motivation that, when heading towards the
sphere of action, is lost. A great distance is perceived between what he wanted and what, for
the moment, he is ready to carry out. It is another result of psychic and bodily splitting and
fragmentation.

Undisciplined
Here is another trait that contributes to this state of inaction. From thought to action, motivation
and determination disappear and thus a disciplined life is difficult.

An indiscipline that is also the result of forgetfulness and de-vitalization. Operates here, the
irrational idea of not being able to complete a stage of your life and move on, because
"completion" means letting go and opening up to the new. To which is added that internal
mechanism that prevents him from seeing any of his rights (minimizing his desires), in addition
to a perfectionism that makes him believe that he is never ready. Deep down, the sexual E5
feels like a son who is not allowed to separate from his mother, which reveals his false
autonomy.

Vengeful; not doing what is expected

The psychodynamics of withdrawal include a subtle but effective act of rebellion. Sometimes it is
an act of revenge against the demands of that internalized, hypercritical and severe mother,
with her perennial: "You don't finish anything you start!". The result of this conflict between
internal demands and the rebellion of not doing is guilt and failure.

Guilty feeling
Feeling guilty for a sexual E5 is closely linked to the awareness that their isolation is a form of
revenge, of aggression. Guilt leads him, therefore, to resign himself.

"Perhaps my most frequent feeling of guilt is about not having energy. I blame myself for it and
that takes away my energy to act, it's a vicious circle. I realize that guilt is a way of maintaining
the feeling of victimization, of keeping myself small." - Maria Luisa F.
A childhood full of demands and messages of undervaluation, and of feeling undeserving, is
common:

"Everything my mother gave me came with guilt. When she gave me a toy or clothes, she would
say, "I stopped giving it to myself to give it to you!" These messages corroborated the feeling of
poverty, scarcity and, above all, that of not being worthy of something positive in life. I perceive
any change in my partner's mood as if it were against me, because of me. So, I react like a child
or a teenager: I shut myself in and isolate myself, and I feel even more guilty about that
estrangement."- Alexandre V.

Selfish and self-centered

By idealizing the partner, or the one with whom he has an affective relationship, the sexual E5
does not see him as a different person from him, with his own emotions and needs. You need a
partner who shows extreme loyalty to your way of life (the idealization of trust). The other is
someone who has to conform to him totally so that he can feel that there is love. And, above all,
be always available, even guessing what you want; in the end, a mirror that reflects your image.
The very organization of the activities or of the time will have to be in accordance with its
rhythm; Only then will the other be a true reliable ally.

Arrogant
He can deny the defensiveness of isolation, convincing himself that his is a special world, that
he himself is special and therefore cannot be in relationship with "ordinary" beings. It is about
his difficulty behind that image of superiority or unattainable person. And he closes himself in his
world of ideas, convinced that he understands something subtle that others do not have the
ability to perceive. In the confrontation with the other, he tends to present his ideas as
unquestionable, and feels entitled to correct others.

Seductiveness
This sexual subtype conquers with an erotic seduction without a display of feathers or a sexually
attractive image according to this passion; rather, he gets closer in an intimate way, sending
messages of interest and with the physical closeness of a contact that can even be delicate.

Obviously, he can use mental attunement or interest in the intellectual but, in any case, among
the E5 subtypes he is the most sensually daring.

Your search for the ideal partner can make you compulsively seduce different people at the
same time. He is very adept at not taking a clear initiative; Rather, he weaves a web into which
the other person falls. This strategy avoids direct rejection and hides his relational
awkwardness;

Above all, this way he controls his fear of intimacy and the instinctive impulse.

Acting from the compartmentalization, maintaining different relationships at the same time,
finally allows him not to enter into emotional chaos or the guilt of the betrayal. Many sexual E5
admit to being unfaithful with a certain "easiness" just as they withdraw or disappear if the
relationship no longer pleases them or it creates problems for them.

Romantic
The sexual E5 is the most emotional of the E5.
Romanticism is the way in which he allows himself to be carried away by emotions. More than in
the couple relationship, although also, romanticism emerges in contact with music, art or nature.
It's easier when listening to music to feel your heartbeat or surrender to abandonment,
something. that would be experienced as very dangerous in the human relationship.

5. Emotionality and fantasy

The sexual E5 is, above all, a dreamer. Fantasy is the attribute that characterizes him; in all the
moments of his life, happy or sad. It is what brings him closer to reality, in the sense of
preparing him for it. This preparation is the entrance door to the real but, above the preparation
leads into the exit door; an escape.

Fantasies, in a way, are what decide your destiny, your attitudes, defenses and even your
emotions. Because emotion and fantasies go hand in hand: the former sometimes awakens and
other times inhibits the appearance of the latter. As a good miser, the sexual Five has a hard
time dealing with his emotions and needs fantasy as a cope.

"I remember exactly the day I discovered the role of fantasy. It was a Sunday afternoon; he
couldn't have been more than ten years old. I was afraid to go into the house because my father
was drunk. He was also bored, with nothing to do. It was then that I realized what I did-dream-
freed me from fear and monotony and even brought me some joy and comfort." - Alexandre V.

As we have been emphasizing, in this sexual subtype there is a paradox between abstinence
and the need for emotional expression. He also constantly alternates between fantasizing and
trying to feel, something that is so difficult for him that he develops the ability to create artificial
states of emotions, thus keeping them at a bearable level. And when he realizes that he is
barely alive, he plans the unattainable: that absolute love.

Which is therefore a new fantasy, as a homeostatic regulator of the psyche, which serves both
to warm a cold emotional life and to cool emotional chaos, the result of physical distancing and
the tyranny of the intellect.

And of all the fantasies, the ones with the greatest energy charge will be the romantic ones.

Thus, the fantasy that emotional intensity would allow a significant experience with the other
stands out. Here he confuses the free flow of the affective with excitability. Closed in on himself,
he needs arousal to feel. Since his body is stiff, he needs something to wake him up. Eros, not
having a feeling to fixate on, tries to produce something similar to emotion: he gets randomly
excited, like a dynamo that produces energy but has nothing to connect with.

"When there is some joy, it soon ends and the depression returns. With anger it is different: I
have the impression that it is so strong that I will explode if I go into it; I am afraid of rage." -
Alexandre V.

"It is as if the exaggerated emotionality fueled the fantasy and the fantasy made the emotions
even more intense. When the emotions come out, they become totally chaotic." - Mara G.

There is a confusion between joy and euphoria (excitability); as if an excessive emotional state
aroused true satisfaction. Excitability is the polar opposite of vital minimization. The person is
not connected with his inner joy, he is not playful and he is not interested in the simple joys of
life. It is difficult for him to connect with the joy of the body. His is linked to being loved by
someone chosen. And as for "negative" emotions, the sexual E5 sees them as destroying him.
There is, even deeper and unconsciously, the fantasy that the unattainable is what will nurture
you. This is the basic assumption, the one that dictates the plot of the search and illusions of the
sexual E5.

Let's move on to how this character deals with his specific emotions. To begin with, it withdraws
emotional expression to camouflage the fear of abandonment and rejection (which, for a sexual
E5, points to the fear of death); withdrawal that leads him to experience his emotions
platonically.

And a "shame of affect and disbelief in spontaneity" reveals that he does not believe in his own
feelings.

"When I manage to expose the things I feel, especially a manifestation of tenderness or

affection, I realize that it is very different from what I imagined. Things seem to be so much
more beautiful and alive here, inside of me. I oscillate between the arrogance of not being
vulnerable and the embarrassment when I am surprised by a slightly stronger feeling. I can't
access emotions in a balanced way, and when they come, I don't have much control." -
Alexandre V.

In his nostalgia, the sexual E5 lives hooked on the past and is emotionally nurtured by
memories that are not always exact, even feeling what did not even exist.
One of the characteristic dreams is to love and be loved. He manages to feel abundantly loved
and loving in fantasy so as not to see its harsh reality: he has loved little and allowed himself to
be loved little.

Also, when he falls in love, the extremist fantasy is that his love is so intense that nothing could
be greater. It is these intensity fantasies that differentiate sexual from the other two subtypes of
greed.

Tenderness
"I can only really express my tenderness with my children. With my partner I expressed affection
early in the relationship. Then it passed, even though I thought I still loved her." After showing
tenderness for someone, immediately comes the sadness" - Maria Luisa F.

Rage
My rage is totally suppressed; when it comes out it can be dangerous. I suppress the rage and it
turns on me. I express it in the form of a car dry destruction and self-sabotage, aside from
vindictive aloofness. There's an uncontrollable monster inside of me, and I can't direct my gaze
at it.

Pleasure
"I have very few memories of what gave me pleasure in childhood. What little fun I had was my
fantasies. In adolescence and in adulthood, alcohol disinhibited me and with the guitar I
attracted attention. They were moments of intense pleasure followed by a depression the next
day.

Later came reading, movies and meditation as pleasures, but this time nothing too intense.
99 _Alexandre V.

"With my childhood friends, any children's game amused me, there was no problem with
pleasure. But since adolescence, after a love disappointment, I saw life without meaning,
without any pleasure. Today my two pleasures are meditating and reading: I feel pleasure
alone.

Sadness
I flee from sadness and go towards tedium.

Tedium
Boredom is the most present feeling in the rest of the vital dimensions of a sexual E5. Their
disinterest in the world in favor of a restricted relationship, the little energy invested in other
circuits of life and, in short, the absence of life in these areas only results in monotony and
discontent.

Once again, fantasy is the outlet for boredom and aridity. The routine is impregnated with
adventure fantasies and ambitious projects.

Because remaining in boredom becomes a dangerous experience.

"I try to escape immediately when tedium sets in. I feel that it is the «prelude» of my despair: As
if it took me to something that I am not in a position to see, to realize the total delirium on which
I have built my life, throwing away everything essential and keeping only those crumbs that I
feed on." - Mara G.

Fear
Fear is the core emotion of all mental characters, and the E5 manages it like the others: splitting
the emotional and corporeal experience of consciousness. It remains like a state of anxiety that
tries to calm down by producing ideas, emotional coldness and low energy only when he begins
to work on himself and to mobilize his instincts and emotions does he come across fear,
overwhelming, with the fear of life.
"My greatest fear is reaching the end of my life and realizing that I pursued illusions and that
now there is no time left." - Alexandre V.

6. Childhood

"With my childhood friends, any children's game amused me, there was no problem with
pleasure. But since adolescence, after a love disappointment, I saw life without meaning,
without any pleasure. Today my two pleasures are meditating and reading: I feel
pleasure alone."

The beginning of life

It is a difficult beginning of life, with physical fragility and early suffering. There are high-risk
pregnancies with threats of abortion and moments of despair for the mother. The sexual E5
lives up with little motivation to live.

"When I did the timeline on the SAT, I saw myself before I was conceived and I felt that it was a
punishment, an imposition to have to come into the world, something that, since before it began
to exist, already required a lot of energy." - Mara G.

The lack of motivation is largely caused by this difficult beginning of life. The most common is to
find a sexually devitalized E5 already from childhood.

"Firstborn, I was born in Milan, after a rather difficult pregnancy during which my mother had
several threats of abortion." _ Piero A.

"I was born with forceps and my parents denied it; They told me it was a normal delivery, with
no complications. However; in the Rebirth experiences I always found it difficult to "be born", I
felt very weak when it came to "overcoming the barrier". I only recently learned that the forceps
were necessary. The fact is that I almost always give up on my projects in the final stretch, and I
have a strong phobia of suffocation, mainly emotional'" _ Alexandre V.

An interviewee remembers that her mother runs away from her husband -the alcoholic and
violent-, who she was terrified of, along with three small children, pregnant with her. She tries to
commit suicide with Vania, pregnant, and this future sexual E5 will spend several days
unconscious.
"I was born very small (just over 1.5 kg);

according to my mother; it seemed that I was not going to "defend myself" (survive), that I was
not going to succeed. She was in no condition to breastfeed me. He ended up giving me cow's
milk, which my body did not accept. I had serious intestinal problems, twice I almost died. They
even put a candle in my hand (custom in the interior of Brazil, when someone dies) twice."

The weeks after childbirth therefore also show trauma and suffering: withdrawal of breast milk,
diseases caused by carelessness and abandonment of the mother, imminent contact with
death.

"At three months they cut off my breast milk and I was left in the care of the nannies, fed with
powdered milk. At ten months, my caregiver gave me powdered milk in bad do. I had acute
dyspepsia and almost died. I spent several days in the hospital, drinking whey and trying new
kinds of milk. I discovered it one day receiving an abdominal massage; the masseuse seemed
very scattered and negligent, without any contact with me, and there I went back to the way I
was cared for in childhood." - Alexandre V.
"I was born with a dislocated hip. My parents didn't find out until I was a year old. To this
experience I attribute my constant feeling of not being ready (like someone who doesn't want to
be born yet because they still have a piece to complete) and the certainty of not being seen."-
Mara G.

"I have a bad memory of the Ist and 2nd of Primary. The constant emotion was sadness. In
retrospect, I look pale, drawn, and full of fear. I think that being so sickly and delicate was
nothing but the consequence of my inner fragility. With a constant feeling of bewilderment, I felt
permanently exposed, naked." - Piero A.

If the motivational basis of a sexual E5 is his lack of vitality, the most frequent situations in his
childhood include contradictory traumas of abandonment, invasion, feelings of not belonging
and inadequacy, poor separation from the mother, disorientation, insecurity, castrated
aggressiveness and loss of confidence. Let's see them.

Feelings of abandonment and over care (invasion)

A great anguish for the sexual E5 arises from the contradictory experience between the
extremes of abandonment and invasion. It generates a conflict between wanting an exclusive
and closed love versus the desire for isolation.

"My first two memories are scenes with that cast. In the first, I am on the floor with a comic book
in my hand, with which I distracted myself; my mother, a few meters from me, standing, perhaps
cooking. It was like seeing the person I wanted to be with from afar. I started walking around the
age of three. I feel like I'm always learning to walk. Being in a cast, my brother was born.
If my contact with my mother had been interrupted by the hospitalization and physical contact,
due to the cast, with the birth of my brother; things got worse. My reaction to seeking attention
and love was to get sick, I started having bouts of bronchitis." - Mara G.

Intrusive care and disrespectful invasions brought him the feeling of not being seen along with
the danger of being crushed.

"My mother is too dramatic and this shaped my inner division. I wanted her attention when I was
sick, but her care was unbearable. I remember that I got sick and pills put down my throat, one
after another. Also, the use of very hot remedies on my skin. It was torture. Since it was a huge
demonstration of her suffering as a jealous mother to have a "sick" daughter; she kept me sick.
When I was finally able to escape and go out to run and play, if he hurt me, I kept quiet to avoid
his interference. I remember hiding serious things that I experienced so that she wouldn't invade
me.

When I was finally able to escape and go out to run and play, if someone hurt me, I kept quiet to
avoid their interference. I remember hiding serious things that I experienced so that my mother
wouldn't invade me." - Mara G.
"Nobody noticed that I had little vision, so when I put on glasses, I was already nine years old." -
Michele C.
"I felt as if I needed to hide every single part of myself and restricted myself due to the high
expectations of my father. He was very dramatic and invaded my personal space, nitpicking
things that riddled my soul and sent me into a hiding place. It wasn't till I was 14 years old that I
let some of myself out, only to face the exact fear I was worried about to begin with." Adri P.
Phobic.

Fear and violence

The withholding of emotional expressions and the heightened sense of having few rights in life
are due to premature causes.

"I remember the cold in the house where I was born and raised. The fear of the cold, the
restlessness of the night, the fear that there was something there that could observe me, judge
me.

And, feeling guilty, I asked that invisible presence:

"Please, don't do anything to me." I did not sleep, crushed in. the bed so that my body would not
be seen, losing weight, hidden under the sheets. I peed on the bed." - Michel T.

"I have no memories of the first years of life. The first (just under three) is my mother beating me
up because I didn't turn off the record player (she didn't know how to put the needle arm in
place and didn't want to ruin the vinyl). He locked me up in the dark. I huddled in a corner; I
cried a little (never again, since then), my head exploded and I felt that something was
strangling my throat and preventing me from sounding, in free fall into the void." - Michele C.

Let us see more consequences of the violence and fears suffered prematurely:

"Until I was a year old, I cried a lot. I was reading Alexander Lowen about an old method to
make the child stop crying: the child would stay locked in the room all night, alone, two or three
nights, crying non-stop. The method was effective because the child stopped crying as a
defense mechanism to literally not die. When I read this excerpt, I cried convulsively without
knowing the reason. I found out years later that my parents used this method on me. And it
worked: I didn't cry again until thirty years later; when I took the SAT." - Alexandre V.

Feeling of not belonging

The E5 feels that he does not occupy his body which comes with anguish of not knowing how to
position himself. It is a feeling of strangeness, as if it came from another world and the human
environment was filled with unknown beings. This experience makes its way into the family,
where it was never felt welcomed, not physically either, and the ties were precarious and
distant. Although he had an emotional mother, his emotional instability has installed, on the one
hand, the fear of emotional chaos and defense in internal withdrawal and, on the other, an
anxious dependence to control the fear of abandonment.
"I had no friends at school, I was half ET (the alien).
" _ Mara G.

"I was a quieter, shy, focused child, and I tended to remain more isolated and play alone. I felt
different from my brothers, who were very moved. I did not accompany them and I always
stayed at home. I had the fantasy of escaping from there, from that house that I never felt I was
a part of." - Alexandre V.

In the future, it is difficult for the sexual E5 to experience normal interaction and feels that he
does not belong to his family or to the world in general.
"The tune of The Ugly Duckling stuck with me:

"I'm going far; this is the sad truth, maybe I'll find peace and happiness on my own." I wanted to
escape from that environment. I was almost alwavs in my room; cold, sore throat, sore throat,
cough, constipation." - Michele C.

"I always preferred to have a room just for myself. I insistently asked my parents. At twelve
years old it was possible. And when she was at home, she spent most of her time indoors, not
interacting with the family. He read and made plastic, with cutouts, paintings and various
materials. I came to sell some of the things I made, people liked it a lot. I spent my time creating
in isolation. And I learned guitar from a nun but I played very softly so that no one could hear
me."-Maria Luisa F.

Inadequacy
"I was going like a ball for years between my house and my aunt's, feeling like a nuisance and
an inconvenience in both places, a weight and even because of the air I breathed (little), guilty
for being different strange (my mother repeated to me often: «But why aren't you like the
others?») She was homeless, a being without a home, without a family, without a place." -
Michele C.

"At the age of three I started going to kindergarten. The first day my mother's detachment was
tragic. Every time he was about to leave, I would burst into tears and throw myself back into his
arms. I even vomited. I think the problem is that I was slow to understand things and a huge
distrust of my abilities was growing.

On Saturday mornings there was a sea battle with the A boys. We moved into their class, the
coordinates were drawn on the two blackboards, and then we played one class against the
other.

While all the kids kept raising their hands shouting

"B6!", "AT!", "C9!", I was able to understand the game mechanics and couldn't give the
coordinates to hit the enemy ships. This game was a metaphor:
I was struggling to find the coordinates in the world, it was as if I lacked the data to guide me.
The less I understood, the more I isolated myself. I felt less awake than the others, less
intelligent.
Piero A.

Castrated aggressiveness
The lack of expression of emotions includes, of course, aggressiveness. The sexual Is does not
express it or allow himself a healthy aggressiveness: he sabotages his projects and turns his
rage against himself, in a self-destructive process.

"A silent and unconscious rage never fully declared either to myself or to the world. Inside me
there was a deep restlessness, an ingrained evil of existing. To get out of apathy and fill the
void, I looked for strong sensations in music and sports, as if they were drugs." - Piero A.

Nature
In nature, the sexual E5 manages to contact the
"magic" of life. In its silent beauty that asks for nothing in return, it is the ideal environment for
this character. Already as a child he feeds on plants and animals, transferring there a need for
safe, non-invasive and stable contact. He finds in nature the possibility of hiding and
disappearing and satisfies the need for space and romantic emotional contact.

"In the country, where my aunt, I spent my days crouched in the tall grass, geo-observing
insects and plants, listening to the sounds of nature in absolute silence. And climbing trees,
catching snakes, slithering through the darkest places, fearless." - Michele A.

Introspection
From his early childhood, he is already an introspective and silent observer, who lives a fantasy
to the detriment of concrete life.

"My mother used to refer to my usual behavior as: "He doesn't talk but he looks a lot." Opening
up to a smile was a rare thing; laugh, almost a miracle that left them all surprised." - Maria Luiza
F.

"I lived much more as a spectator than as an explorer of life." - Mara G.

Loss of confidence
The experience of many sexual E5 is not having been respected in their intimacy. We find
clumsy or cruel mothers who penetrate her with disregard for the child's feelings and ridicule the
child's need to maintain a reserved space. This encroachment fuels the need to take refuge and
the crazy idea of another is dangerous.

"The affective and material precariousness have marked my character; leading me to isolation,
mistrust, lack of compassion and extreme selectivity in the world of relationships." - Michael C.
"The trust I had in my mother was lost throughout my early childhood. But the remnants of the
small bond he still had with her were gone by the age of eleven. My father disappeared from
home for a month or more. My mother would be desperate, and I would be very scared.

One day, I was playing soccer in front of my house when she called me to talk. He began to cry
accusatory: You are a child who does not take care of me, does not caress me, you live only for
yourself. You don't help me at home, you don't help me take care of your brothers and I have to
do everything by myself. At that moment I felt something drop from my heart to my feet, as if my
soul had left, leaving my body and falling to the ground. From that moment on, I completely
distanced myself from her and my siblings, leaving myself with the guilt of not taking care of
them as I
"should" when I was eleven vears old.

A few months later; I definitely lost the trust I still had in my father. There was a Sunday lunch
with family and friends at home. Around five o'clock I went to bathe to go to mass with my
grandmother. I undressed in the bathroom and an older woman asked me to open the door; she
wanted to urinate. I told him that I was getting into the shower and that I was naked. She said
she wouldn't look at me, to which I replied that I was embarrassed. Then my father knocked on
the door and told me to open it. I put on the towel and opened. So, he took me to the room
where all the guests were, and he took off my towel, leaving me naked in front of everyone." -
Alexandre V.

Affective disengagement with parents

The affective bond with the father is of an avoidant and distant type. He has been someone
emotionally and physically absent, with whom he has had no contact or shared experiences,
and from whom he has often learned to withdraw from the relationship as a defense against
invasiveness. He is a father who "leaves the son in the hands" of the mother, thus hindering the
resolution of the oedipal conflict, which involves the separation of the son from his mother.

"I had a moment of contact with my father when he picked me up, thinking I was sleeping, to
carry me to bed. I pretended that I was asleep, because I figured if he saw that I was awake he
would make me walk. I remember that very pleasant contact in his arms, and the result of a
pretense of mine in order to receive that pleasure."-Maria Luiza F.

"The only memory I have of a happy contact with my father was when I was five years old, when
I received my dark belt in judo. He hugged me and scooped me up, like I was a trophy for him."
- Alexandre V.
The mother is a person "too" present, who asks the son to fill his existential emptiness. She
suffers and, focused on herself, implicitly or explicitly requires the child to deal with her
loneliness.

Expect him to be your companion, a friend or a partner who finally guesses your pain and your
need. It conveys the message of being a special person for her, at the high price of being
gobbled up and dominated.
"I remember my mother; in addition to the humiliations, the invasion. He used to fill my plate
forcing me to finish everything, he lent my things to my cousins and he raised my hand many
times. I have no memories of hugging or any other type of physical contact with my parents; not
dialogue.".Piero A.

"The first part of my life is barren of love. A depressive, invasive, hyper-controlling, devaluing
mother, who showed her rejection of me in various ways, including violently both verbally and
physically.

And a totally absent father; who at one point

"left" my mother with me to seek fulfillment elsewhere; although he did not break up the
marriage." - Monica C.

"My mother often yelled and was indelicate, rough, she even groped me. My father; on the other
hand, was too calm. He was affectionate but also very inhibited. He kept everything inside and
gnawed at his stomach in silence; I never heard him scream or express his anger. He suffered
from my mother; who sometimes publicly attacked him, even in front of others. He did not
respond or defend himself, and I felt great humiliation. So, I learned from him to remain silent,
without reacting.

Especially because a feeling of shame

overwhelmed me, because every time I expressed a need or let out an emotion, my mother
made my mood public to everyone present out loud. I felt exposed, naked. It was impossible for
me to defend myself. Anything I said could be used against me and I soon learned that the best
strategy was to hide and show feigned calm. My nonchalance was appreciated and
encouraged, so I began to put on the mask of the wise little man who doesn't let himself be
touched by anything. Getting angry would have been a sign of unforgivable weakness."- Piero
A.

7. Person and shadow: what is destructive for themselves and others

According to Jung, the person is an archetypal impulse to adapt to external and collective
reality.
In childhood, in general, our roles are determined by paternal and maternal expectations, which
the child will try to fulfill. This is how he adopts behaviors that correspond to what is expected of
him, or what he thinks is expected of him, and creates a mask that shows a collectively
accepted side, while hiding (repressing) what is not in agreement with what he believes is
expected of him. established, which usually becomes unconscious: this shadow that will act
autonomously on your psyche, invading your conscience and causing you to behave in a way
that you would never do in sane conscience.

The person of the sexual E5 improves when he connects with his instincts and can experience
pleasure, enjoyment and aggressiveness, as a way of going for what he wants. A good tool to
achieve this is through movement or body work, which helps us to embody ourselves in our
body and feel ourselves on an emotional level and brings us to the present.

"This connection brought me, the first time I made it, a dream in which I was eaten by a baby. I
think this is a denied aspect of the Five, the fear of being devoured by it and, at the same time,
wanting love as a way of incorporating it within oneself." - Mireia D.

The most self-destructive thing is the demand with which the sexual E5 is treated and spoken. It
takes the form of obsessive thinking that you can't get out of, giving itself the more tired you are
and becoming a vicious circle. What he has done is never enough, he can always give more, he
can always take more care of others, he is always guilty of how he does things and that is why
they go wrong. You could always work harder than you do and you are exhausted because you
have done so many things and you don't realize how exhausted you are; he still thinks he could
have done more.

"As in the relationship with my mother there was no love but it was marked by coldness, strict
attention to needs and invasion, I grew up believing that I had to hide my need for a bond, that it
was something that could not be had, and less, to show, and I hid it so deep inside of me that I
didn't even know I had it." - Mireia D.

"Having to hold the mask of self-sufficiency, of not needing the other; isolates me, dehumanizes
me. I have to make a great effort for pain, my insecurity and my fear of the other. I repress the
desire to calmly ask for my help and the presence of someone, and I start hurting myself
internallv." - Mara G.

Neurotic behavior, therefore, is believing that one does not have to need others or have needs,
that one hardly even has to exist. The distrust and resignation of having to do things alone and
that the best way to be is without cover those unsatisfied childhood needs, or someone will one
day come who will cover them.

And from there he mistreats, from the demand to the other when he does not meet his
expectations, which happens at some point in the relationship. And at the same time, it is
demanded not to need the other. It is linked from how a relationship should be, with its duties
and obligations. And he gets very angry when the other does not comply and then he gets angry
and asks for explanations.

"The first time I gave myself sexually, the person left me. The next night I dreamed that I killed
that person. Shortly after; a friend told me that her partner had left her and she was very sad.

The next night I dreamed that I was teaching my friend how to kill a man, it seemed like the
most natural thing in the world."

Another neurotic way of not feeling the pain of not having what you need, that is, love and
affection, is by doing a lot of things, especially taking up all your time with work. Not leaving any
free space to be without doing anything. With what is exhausted and can have physical
discomfort, at the same time that he is not with his partner because he has all the time
occupied. Or he has many friends to meet or seduce, as a way of not deepening any
relationship.

Not having lived intimate relationships means that, when he establishes it, he does not know
how to do it from love and dedication; therefore, he never gives himself to the other, he keeps a
part just in case. There he hurts the other, who never feels that he has him, and also himself,
because he has to maintain a constant state of alert, as if he lived in survival mode and could
not relax with others.

This idea that you don't need anyone can make you, when someone hurts you deeply, put a
wall between the two of you and decide that the other no longer exists.

"I call that "doing harakiri. " I have a fantasy that I will be able to retract my emotional world so
that I don't care anymore. Which I do in the practical field by not seeing that person anymore,
imagining that they no longer exist." - Mireia D.

"I do not take responsibility for my life by blaming others. I become inert and resentful. My
resentment leads to a subtle revenge: from victim to aggressor; with isolation and heartbreak.
With the distancing I attack the other but also deprive myself of contact.

And I also hurt myself by not expressing my rage: I self-destruct and sabotage my life; I don't
accept myself, I don't forgive myself for my mistakes, just as I don't forgive others."-Alexandre V.

By denying the need for bonds, but with the real need for contacts to survive, he over-adapts.

This leads him into relationships where he is used and taken advantage of. He is not very aware
when this happens, he does not record it, just as he does not realize when he is the exploiter.

Being disconnected from himself and from others, he does not value what he has or what he
knows; he can give money or hours of work, or not give anything when asked by someone who
really needs it, because he is not aware of what it has cost him or others to follow something or
ask for something.

The sexual E5 is called a "bedroom tyrant" because when he has a desire, he expects the other
to satisfy him immediately and this is a way of using others.
"The most hidden thing is a fantasy of being the slave of someone who wants you very much
and tortures you by giving you pleasure and you have no will and give yourself totally. This has
been the only thing that has cost me to recognize about myself of all that I have discovered
about mvself." - Mireia D.
The sexual E5 is one of the most seductive characters of the Enneagram. His seduction is
intended to "find" the soul mate that will restore total confidence, which he will never feel as
such because he is basically distrustful.

The dedication that appears when falling in love with his romanticism makes the other believe in
his availability, until the selfish romantic reveals himself, who wants the other to accept him
without conditions and conform to his rhythm and his need, who knows Guess what he wants
and at the same time stay in the corner he has set aside for you. And that he also accepts his
amorous excursions without moving away because, in the end, what he is looking for is a
mother who picks him up and hugs him despite everything.
This is also manifested in their sexuality, which is based more on the search for skin contact
than on instinct.

"My desire for unconditional love and my possessiveness end up "sucking" the other's soul,
taking away their freedom and spontaneity. I remain in the egoism of greed, that of only
receiving, that of obtaining only gratification."-Alexandre V.

8. Love

This character embodies the archetype of romantic love, a slave of love in continuous search for
the other ideal or, rather, the equal. Wait for the perfect partner, harbor the magical thought that
there is a saving relationship.

"The passionate search for an absolute love that he imagined pure, uncontaminated by other
motives, began already in childhood, sprinkled with dreams and daydreams. The fantasy was,
and has remained for a long time, to be able to find the ideal friend or partner, perfect in every
way, able to complete me and heal my wounds. I hoped that he would love me unconditionally,
thus appeasing the inner desolation that inhabited me." - Ilaria C.

The lair of two, as this passion is sometimes called, is not exclusively concretized in the couple,
but refers to that mirror that looks in the other through an exclusive dual relationship. But so
idealized that, as soon as there is real contact, it is immediately questioned.

"There are not a few times that I have thought I had actually found the person who seemed to
embody this ideal, only to be quickly disappointed.

In a short time, in fact, I began to observe shortcomings and imperfections that gave rise to the
first disagreements and irreparable disagreements: a sharp word, a clumsy gesture or a
manipulation that was impossible for me to ignore or forget.

Without knowing it, the other was subjected to tests that proved he lived up to my expectations
and need for exclusive trust." - Ilaria C.

The longing for love collides with a strong fear of invasion.

"After each contact that I experience intensely (especially love exchanges) I feel the urgent
need to return to myself, detaching myself from the other person and even physically isolating
myself, if possible." - Patrick M.

"Love intimidates me, love is something dangerous, vindictive and manipulative. Love wants
something." - Michel T.

Naranjo's theory of love recognizes admiring love as the most accessible for enneatype 5
which, among the admiring characters (E5, E6 and E1), is the most erotic. And the sexual
subtype has access to erotic love more easily than the other two. He has a self-image of
goodness and kindness, but he confuses erotic love with compassionate love and uses the
embraced Eros and receiving the warm attention that he feels is infinitely lacking in mind.

Eros is filial, instinctive love, it is our bodily bond to feel with life, and the secular repression of
this drive disconcerts to the point of making it difficult to recognize. The erotic instinct for this
character has been the most weakened, and that is why the fixation here is greater. Eroticism is
embodied in the body, but this subtype idealizes it in romance.

It is even possible to affirm that, in sexual greed, erotic love becomes doubly predominant and,
at the same time, dysfunctional, to the detriment of compassionate and admiring love.

Because, despite the shy and avoidant character of greed, when it assumes the movement of
withholding and not giving, it becomes excessively directed towards its own satisfaction. In this
way, the sexual instinct is contaminated and exceeds the desire for selfish satisfaction, and the
result is a sad characteristic trait of disinterest in the other.

"Acting erotically is perhaps the path that seems to me to be the easiest, although impermeable.
Eroticism and sex make me feel appreciated and valuable. I try to satiate myself through
eroticism when maybe I'm ham breath of intimacy... or perhaps to feel appreciated, recognized
in my courage and abilities." - Patrick M.

Erotic love is characterized in this character by projections and attempts at infantile reparation
through the romantic partner, who is its "savior." As we already mentioned, the sexual instinct is
dysfunctional and, therefore, the way of giving or receiving love will also be compromised in this
subtype. This will "filter" any kind of love through the sexual sphere, whether in the form of
compulsive hyper-valuation or a purely symbolic experience (a virtual sexuality); both hindering
the knowledge of the true face of Eros.

Therefore, it will be through his idealization objects (affective partners) that he will also expect to
receive maternal love-the care and protection that he may not have had in childhood, including
eroticization, as well as admiring love, since he wishes receive in return the excessive
admiration, he has for the person who is the object of his projections.
"Very rarely did I have loving attitudes towards my brothers, parents or friends, not even with
girlfriends; I kept the love for the idealized woman, who never realized it." - Alexandre V.

Idealization and divinization is often reflected in sexuality as a rejection of what is strictly human,
sometimes as a sexual renunciation in favor of the divine relationship, and other times, in an
exaggerated eroticism disconnected from affectivity, which can reach turn into perversion.

Therefore, although he is extremely sexual, the person of this character does not suppress his
emotional lack in sex: His erotic love, being so idealized, is almost impossible to achieve, and
he confuses it on the one hand with admiring love and, on the other, it results in overexcitement.

Although pleasure is experienced with the fear of being castrated, Eros is the preferred channel
for contact. The sexual E5 accesses the game more easily than the other subtypes and in the
relationship, this is often confused with affection.

It also happens with himself: masturbation becomes the only way to give himself love, to feel
pleasure, to contain himself in the feeling of dispersion and emptiness.

Unlike that idealized tender contact in the couple, in sex this character is not so tender. Sex,
idealized as sacred and mystical, is in fact one of the few places where it actively asserts itself
in the relationship, displaying its possessiveness and intrusiveness.

"Only when the initial phase of contact has occurred do I let go completely, and that kind of
delicacy and shyness fades and in sexuality I can let go unrestrainedly, intensely, sometimes
even roughly, often representing a domain relationship: maybe I'm not really free but only my
aggressive part. I am very much looking for this state where I can let go until the end." - Patrick
M.

The closed and symbiotic relationship that he seeks with his partner necessarily leads to the
desire to receive all three types of love from the same person, as he is not open to other
relationships or other dimensions of life. The link (pseudo-link) formed is so strong that there is
no room for anything else.

However, the sexual E5 does not really see his partner, only his idealization.

He is also not interested in offering love but only sex or something virtual. The care of the other,
when it happens, comes from egoic motivations to receive something in return. He can hardly
offer his partner a little admiring love, given his immense idealization, but it is a love that lasts
only as long as the idealized being continues with the status of being divine and infallible. As
soon as the illusions fall, so does the admiration for the partner.

Once the infatuation and the strong physical attraction have faded, so does the idealization of
the partner, and he doubts that what remains is love. Having lost the erotic charge, sex
becomes mechanical.
"Withdrawing my feeling, the eroticism ended up emptying out and becoming raw, detached,
and mental. I myself did not support the intimacy that I aspired to and I could not live up to the
ideal of reliability that I imposed on the other. So the only thing I had to do was wait for the link,
from my point of view, already damaged, to dissolve slowly and by inertia, wearing out as if by
itself." - Ilaria C.

The sexual E5 leaves, therefore, no room for a real and human relationship. It is also not easy
for him to understand what devotion is and how to access it.

Naranjo described him as an iconoclastic and arrogant character who does not recognize
authority. His behavior might almost seem envious, considering his competitiveness, but it
actually reflects fear of losing his worth the moment he recognizes it in the other.

Their ability to admire the Goddess woman or the God man may offer some opening of admiring
love, but it is also a search for love as compensation for a distant or weak father figure.

And he usually looks for it in the form of spiritual, intellectual or artistic guidance. But this love is
also subiect to the same setbacks as in the couple, according to the itinerary idealization -› trust
-› mistrust -> lack of love.

"Approaching a teacher or someone higher in the work hierarchy, by training or experience, is

difficult for me. Outwardly I become subservient and secretly I rebel. I do it by working poorly,
carelessly, holding back, sabotaging my work. I get into the same dynamic that I have with my
parents, as a teenager:" - Michel T.

What is devotion to him? In the first place, nature fascinates him, he idealizes it for its perfection
and justice, it is a sacred element where he can take refuge and isolate himself, where nobody
questions anything and where it would be nice to die, far from social rituals.

"Culturally, in my family, I was educated in a scientific way, in a place where God was
repudiated and supplanted by knowledge, so I could not have a space for spirituality. What he
did have was admiration for Creation, for nature; not for the man and his work, which I still feel
impure." - Michel T.

It also has easy access to aesthetics and recognizes the beauty in objects, in art, in people.

Like the social subtype, he has a passion for knowledge, which he experiences more as a
collection of information, of books; in search more of a pleasure of possession in series than of
a restitution to others of the acquired knowledge; books become silent talking parents.

"Sometimes it was hard for me to accept the value of the other and I tended to put myself above
or; if it was not sustainable, below. I love being appreciated for how much I know and how smart
I am, and I avoid situations that might put me in a different situation than my worth." - Patrick M.
"I felt that I always had to stand out for intelligence and wisdom." - Ilaria C.

The little that the E5 sexual has left over for a maternal or compassionate love is for the
children, and nothing else. It is his less developed love. He recounts a sexual love that
compassionate love was the one he found in his life and that, despite all his search for love, a
great erotic and admiring treasure it was this that saved him from his own treasure, it was this
that saved him from his own selfishness and transformed his inner aridity into a flowery field.

This character knows how to adore a person but not how to approach their humanity, their pain.
The sensation that he experiences when he is next to the pain of others is one of overwhelm
and fear of being <swallowed>.

Her idealization of the relationship tends towards fusion in search of the lost maternal bond,
while she is afraid of merging with the other and losing her subjectivity.

"I realized how much I had missed an intimate and loving contact with my mother; that she had
been absent in a way that scared me - I remember her eyes lost in the void - or bothered me
because I felt used by her; even raped." - Ilaria C.

He is cynical with all humanity and with himself, a consequence of an inadequate reception of
his feelings by the family.

There is no memory of maternal love and he is in contact with this lack, resigned and angry at
the same time. When he receives this type of love, as if he doesn't know what it is, he confuses
it with contempt or devaluation.

"In my family you can't suffer; only my mother can. I do not remember a space to welcome the
pain, not even for the death of my father: I don't remember my mother's warmth; I remember her
hands slapping me. Then he called me to go to his bed where he opened me, he rubbed and
caressed, but his hands were hard and couldn't calm me down. in that embrace that imprisoned
me.
Michel T.

She pretends to be sweet and adorable to seduce and manipulate a potential surrogate mother.
It is the sweetness of the puppy ready to play and have sex. He knows how to be formally in a
relationship, he knows how to caress and talk to give pleasure but not to give comfort or
acceptance. He does not know how to give or receive that quality of love that is compassion.

"Approaching the women I desired, and deep down feared, was difficult, I never felt adequate
and entitled to love, I was a beggar of love. The only way to have it was to steal it, and what I
took wasn't love, it was objects." - Michel T.
Giving oneself to others is giving without receiving anything in return: there is no return from the
other when one truly gives oneself. But the infantile structure of the sexual E5 does not
understand that, by falling for the other, one receives in return in other ways, beyond the
interplay between erotic love: well-being, happiness or spiritual peace. Unfortunately, he is still
addicted to erotic love, exclusively.

9. Historical figures: Jean Jacques Rousseau and Frederic Chopin

Jean Jacques Rousseau

This Swiss philosopher (1712-1778) had a
convulsive emotional life from the beginning. In the opening pages of his autobiography, he
writes that "my birth was the first of my misfortunes." In fact, her mother died of complications in
childbirth, nine or ten days later. And a weak and sick child was born.

Throughout his childhood he was surrounded by women and had an unhealthy relationship with
his family. He inherited a small library from his mother, from which he acquired a passion for
literature. He and his father lived on the idealization of Suzanne, his late mother, while
voraciously "consuming" the entire literary collection she left behind.

Rousseau was definitely a sexual E5: physical fragility, conflicts with an invasive woman and a
very dramatic perception of human relationships.

And, from the beginning, the search for a divine encounter through women.

They took his father to leave him in Geneva, in the care of a shepherd and his sister, who
subjected him to beatings and humiliation. These endowed him with a strong rebellion and also
induced early sexual pleasure in the child, as well as a latent masochism that would
characterize his sexuality forever, as well as a feeling of social inferiority.

Still very young, he fell in love with Miss de Vulson, who was twice his age. His love affairs with
women more mature than him will not be rare. The young Rousseau discovers and lives the
songs of nature: in addition to books, he finds comfort in his walks in the countryside. In nature
he finds a divine companion, kind, reliable and, above all, silent, which requires no effort from
the young thinker.

Here we already find four idealizations of the

E6 sexual: women, feeling, nature and natural life, all of them with the role of divine saviors.

At the age of sixteen, he flees from Geneva to Savoy, where he meets the most influential
woman in his life: Madame de Warens, a single Catholic twelve years older than him. In his
words, "she had a beautiful face, blue eyes full of sweetness, wonderful color of skin and a
lovely neck." Jean
Jacques immediately became a Catholic because, for him, "a religion preached by such a
charming missionary woman could not fail to lead to paradise." These words reveal the deepest
motivations of the spirituality of a sexual E5, in whom the search for the divine is confused with
the search for women.

When Rousseau turns twenty-one, an intimate relationship begins between them. Rousseau
called her "mama." She lives this very close to maternal relationship for years, while falling
platonically in love with other women, without ever consummating.

After the love disillusionment with Ms. De Warens, he moves to Paris. There he became the
lover of a hotel employee, Thérèse Levasseur, who would become his companion until the end
of their
lives.

With her, Rousseau had five children; they hid the paternity of all of them and gave them up for
adoption.
His iustification for such an attitude was to feel that he could not take care of them, because
they were poor and sick. The rest of his life will be accompanied by remorse for this great
contradictory slab between his actions and his thoughts.

His fame as a thinker comes late and not adapting to Parisian social life, he prefers to live
isolated on the outskirts. This withdrawn style will cause several incidents and the breakdown of
great friendships, a matter of life and death for a personality centered on passionate
relationships of trust and the desire for deep intimacy with their Own.

Fidelity in relationships is a vital issue for when his great friend Diderot was arrested, he did
everything Rousseau did. He offered to stay in his place and went to visit him almost every day.

Several years later, Rousseau cut off his relationship with Diderot, awakening a common feeling
in him: feeling betrayed.

The first great moment in Rousseau's intellectual and, why not, spiritual life comes during a walk
in the woods: It was a moment of ecstasy where he glimpsed his path forward, by answering in
the negative to the question about whether the progress of science had contributed to improving
human life. He will write the Discourse on the Arts and Sciences, where he develops the
fundamental antithesis between the nature of man and the additions of civilization.

Subsequent works only take this thought to its ultimate consequences, which, more than a
simple abstract idea, is a radical feeling. Many see in him the germination of romanticism. His
assessment of the world of feelings, to the detriment of intellectual reason, and of the deepest
nature of man, in opposition to the artifice of civilized life, will be the basis of the broad romantic
movement that characterized the first half of the nineteenth century and which is still valid until
today.
Rousseau focuses his intellectual life on criticizing the excessive value given to pure rationality
and defends other values that belong more to the human. He wants to free humanity from the
shackles of reason which, he claims, has corrupted the nature of man.

Humanity is good by nature but has been corrupted by culture. The human being has lost his
nature and lives far from his true "I". The dictates of reason keep him within civilizing schemes
that oppress him and divert him more and more from himself.

Rousseau will defend the "return to nature" as a rescue of the authentic life of man. We see
here a marked trait of isolation and lack of credibility in a true encounter between individuals -so
common among misers- and a strong idealization of nature.

There comes a time when Rousseau gets tired of a Paris that, he said, alienated him so much
from himself, and he decides to return to Geneva.
His desire is solitude and refuge in the middle of nature, where he can be in contact with his true
self.

For a time, he finds some solace, and lives something like the life he wanted for himself and
advocated against civilizing confinement. He manages to enter "in deep contact with nature". in
his comforting walks through the forest and rowing on the lakes.

After a brief return to Paris, he finally returns to Switzerland. He stays at Madame d'Épinay's
house, where he experiences another great moment of ecstasy with nature. In this state he
writes a novel, Julia or the new Heloise, very typical of his romantic personality, motivated by "a
desire to love that he had never been able to satisfy." Rousseau tries to express a "nostalgia for
idealized love" as well as to give free rein to a repressed desire for love. It is the story of a man
who knows love more through imagination than in reality.

A short time later he meets Madame d'Houdetot and, delighted, places her on Julia's high
pedestal. live a moment of great emotional intensity, but only in idealization. Nothing ever
materialized between the two.

His relationship with nature was becoming more intense. In his free time, he walked or rowed
and that was when he found land. "Oh nature, oh my goodness, here I am, totally surrendered
to your protection," he wrote. And he carried out his most balanced and profound work, a
synthesis of his thought and his life: The Daydreams of the Solitary Walker. The title itself
indicates, in three words, as many other typical features of sexual E5: dreams and fantasy, not
being fully together with the other, loneliness and walks in nature.

Despite his criticism of society and its institutions, including religious ones, Rousseau always
maintained a spiritual sense of life: Above all the dictates of reason or religious authority, there
is the divine voice of the soul. of man." On the day of his death, in July 1778, he looked up at
the sky and said goodbye: "The portal is open and God is waiting for me." He died in Thérèse's
arms, at the age of sixty-six.
Frederic Chopin
This Polish composer and musician (1810-
1849), unlike many musical geniuses, and despite being sexual, enjoyed a happy childhood.
Born into a harmonious home, claimed by his mother to be beautiful, educated and fascinating,
devoted to the family: creating subsequent idealization.

Holidays in nature, with the wisdom of simple country people, will mark your spirit and your
music. Polish mazurkas will become their familiar melody, which makes music so original and,
above all, romantic: pure expression of deep and delicate feelings; sometimes sad; others,
sublime, but that always reflect the heart and soul of a man troubled and, at the same time,
passionate about a natural life.

It is prototypical sexual, Chopin was of fragile and delicate constitution, always prone to
pulmonary crises that will accompany him throughout his life. But he also shared with this type
of personality the strong spirit, beyond what the body supported. It grieved him not to be
accepted on the battlefield to defend his beloved Poland. And a feeling (and premonition) of
death will accompany him from a very young age, after he and his sister had a bad flu and the
girl died.

As a teenager, he was very successful with women, for his musical talent, charm and chivalry.

He compensated for this magnetism by always being in love and, as a good sexual E5s, he
tended to experience his love affairs platonically.

Music was his true love. When he was only seven years old, he composed his first work, a
polonaise in G minor. And stimulated by success as a teenager, he composed a great work, his
concerto in F minor, inspired by his first passion, Konstancja Gladkowska. Being a sexual E5,
he couldn't help but be moved by his romantic ideals.

His music is marked by the strength of passion and nostalgia for that childhood idyll, which
brought him so close to spiritual hope. The concrete woman and the deep longing for contact
with the sacred are confused: the relationship with the woman will be desired and fantasized as
if one lived among the gods. And his music, like no other, will be the clear expression of this
ideal.

The first time Liszt and Mendelssohn heard him, they understood that it was the fingers of God
that were playing, and that this young man had made the piano capture the language of infinity.

Such is the search for love in a sexual E5: the human and the concrete do not touch his heart; it
must come from above and from far away.
Chopin experienced his true home in music, where those feelings arose that, in someone
dominated by passion for greed, could hardly be exposed. He had in music a companion for his
loneliness and his fantasies of love, for his suffering, isolation and longing for his Poland.

He was a piano reformer; broke the rules. He understood that melody, in order to escape the
mechanistic dictates of classical reason (the romantic aspect of the sexual E5), needed to
breathe like the human voice. So he "ordered" the piano to breathe and Tempo rubato was
born.

In Finck's words, "if tears could be heard, they would sound like Chopin's Preludes." Arthur
Rubinstein wrote that "the Preludes are the great pearl of Chopin's oeuvre.. the soul of the artist,
his pain, his melancholy, his mystery and his dream were divinely expressed."
This Es sexual was the dreamy poet of the piano, for whom he wrote his most intimate
emotions, the most tender feelings of the human soul, enchanted by nature and intoxicated with
love.

His first love, Konstancja, was for him the unprecedented ray of sunshine in his life. Seeing the
young woman, Chopin was ecstatic and inhibited. He went to his room and, inspired by this
feeling, writes a Nocturne in B flat minor, a novelty in the expression of the piano. He begins to
experience heaven and hell, in the uncertainty of being reciprocated, for more than six months.

Konstancia married someone else and Chopin sentenced: «The Gladkowska married a certain
Grabowski, but that does not exclude the platonic feelings that I still have with me». The sexual
E5 is attached to and nostalgic for past relationships. It is difficult for him to accept the loss, face
the new and move on.

More and more he composed his music alone, seeking in it the charm that he did not find in
human relationships. The great and insurmountable love was yet to come. Chopin fell under the
spell of Delfina Potocka. With her he experienced perhaps his only true love. Once again he
was about to live it in secret, but Delfina's temperament did not allow it, and she herself took the
initiative in the relationship.

With her, Chopin could give himself completely to intimacy and trust (the most characteristic of
this subtype). Delfina was delighted with his confidences and that he had chosen her muse and
protector.

Chopin never kept any secrets from him. Unlike his other love affairs, where he passively drifted
as if in search of a mother's love, this was a relationship with a true woman and friend. But
Chopin's intensity, in contrast to Delfina's fear (because of her previous disappointments), led to
the breakup of the relationship. Chopin returns to the refuge of music;
Delfi na returns with her ex-husband.

His inability to take charge of practical life requires worldly and concrete support. In her
loneliness, she wants to get married, to have a family, like the one she was born into, in Poland.
It is also an ideal of the sexual E5, at the other end of his fanciful, adventurous, and illusorily
free life.

Form a family with a divine woman and, of course, creating a sacred bond, an alliance of trust
and an idyll of love.

He meets Maria Wodzinska, a childhood friend who adores Chopin's eyes. In it he projected his
dream of a home. But he lived this dream more in fantasy than in reality, and Maria's family did
not agree with the romance either. What last breath of that dream, he writes one of his most
passionate and painful works, the Ballad in G minor; and Maria, after her departure, will give the
Vals Del Adiós its name. And once again he shuts himself up at home to live out his sad dream
of love.

Chopin was already an idol, surrounded by honors in Paris. His performances were his only
consolation; he was unhappy, despite his fame and professional success, which indicates a
characteristic of the sexual E5: a one-sidedness of the meaning of life, deposited only in his
greatest interest, which is romantic passion. The world and your other relationships don't matter
as much.

Following Rousseau's lead, Chopin advocated the simple life, a return to nature, and the
primacy of feeling and spontaneity over the rigidity of reason and meter. As a good Es sexual, it
rejects formal standards in expression. His musical work is the clearest manifestation of this
romantic "rule": breaking rigid and traditional patterns and disciplines.

Disillusioned with love and alienated social life, Chopin allows himself to be captivated by
George Sand: a strong woman with a maternal spirit. With her he was able to live the refuge
and comfort of a home and a family, where he could experience tranquility and recover his
energies (typical of greed). He felt protected and could live the harmony that his soul asked of
him. They spend a season in Mallorca, Chopin finds new inspirations in nature and lives the
heyday of his art.

But the harmony in Sand's house could not last forever. for Ella he had problems with his
children and Chopin, exclusive and possessive, did not accept the division of attention by his
wife.

Conflicts begin; Chopin has attacks of jealousy, comes under pressure and begins to distrust
Sand's love. This distrust will lead them to separate. He persists out of pride, refuses to admit
his faults and per Sand writes, in Lucrezia Floriani: It is the jealous affection, suspicious and
childish selfishness. He was secretly meeting Delfina.

Chopin is alone again and lost in the world. Due to his strong pride, he refuses to give in.
Chopin opens at the moment of death. His vibrant soul, passionate and overwhelmed by
extremes of ecstasy and pain, surrenders: «I can no longer be sad or happy; to tell the truth, I
don't feel. And I wait, with resignation, for my end».

Accompanied by a cleric friend, he reconciles himself with himself and, with gratitude, seems to
expel the accumulated sadness from his heart:

"Now I am in agony. It is a rare favor that God grants to man: to reveal to him the moment when
his agony begins; this grace was granted to me. Do not disturb me».

10. Literary and cinematic examples

Charlie Barber
The film narrates the separation of a New
York couple who have a son. An intellectual theater director, Charlie has a wife, Nicole, an
actress who has followed him from Los Angeles to New York. She receives a job offer as in a
television series in Los Angeles and, disappointed by Charlie's reaction, she decides to leave
him and move to California.

Whether we call the passion of E5 sexual intimacy, trust, or the lair of two, Charlie's drama is
precisely the fall from that dream. Intimacy with his wife is betrayed, both because Nicole leaves
him and because she decides to do it through lawyers. The mentioned nothing intimacy does
not exist in reality: the couple is in crisis for a long time. For Charlie, strongly identifying with the
parental role at first the drama consists of losing his best actress and being estranged from his
son, He has created his own world around the theater.

He has a group of friends, but they are the actors and technicians of the company. Absorbed by
his figure as director, there is nothing else for him. That is his way of disassociating himself from
the rest of the world.

Charlie also seeks intimacy with the defense attorney, whom he finds through Nicole's mother,
with whom he maintains a good relationship. In Bert, this lawyer, recognizes humanity: «He is
the first person, in this lawsuit, who treats me as a human being». And precisely because he
feels that his trust has been betrayed, nothing abandons Bert, since the matrimonialis seeks to
reach an agreement while Charlie, uncompromising, is rooting for his wife and son to return to
New York.

Charlie's other intimate relationship is the one he maintains with his company, where he feels
like the head of the family and tries to protect and care for everyone, even supporting them
financially; he even pays attention to interns.

The sexual is more expansive than the other subtypes of the Five. Charlie tries to make up for
the lack of a maternal bond with dual relationships, the ones born and wounded. who seeks
security in the confidence of not being abandoned.
Character isolation is observed in his way of relating to Nicole: he behaves in a monotonous
way, without accents, without emotions; does not know how to access another repressed
emotional world. Sadness manifests itself in the form of nervousness and less than rage, an
aspect common both to intellectuals and to our society.

The relationship with the son is also like that.

We see him active and tender. As He is sexual, he is a competent father but "within the forms",
of the pre-established schemes, of good work without elasticity. She is worried about losing her
son but is unable to have spontaneous affective movements. On Halloween night, for example,
you force your child to wander around town begging for candy even if the child is exhausted and
wants to stay home.

Faced with the possibility of being evaluated by a social worker to see if he is a capable father
to care for his son, Charlie becomes anxious. He prepares himself, asks his own child for help,
tries to fall back on pre-established patterns of "good parenting." In an attempt to give the social
worker a good image, she ends up injuring herself. It doesn't seem to be connected to parental
instinct or the emotions that drive a love relationship.

He is overwhelmed by emotions. It lacks an internal container where it can store emotional

experiences. In his relationship with his wife, she had been, and still is, his container. It is she
who is responsible for giving structure to Charlie's internal and external life.

Foreword
The film begins with a session with a family mediator, who invites the couple to take an
inventory of the positive things they see in each other. We hear Charlie reading the things he
likes about Nicole. We can read the list as the realization of your needs in your partner. The first
trait: «She is able to do what feels comfortable even in uncomfortable situations».

She really listens to you. We could read this statement as a request for contact. Nicole has the
endowment that Charlie's mother did not have, the great absence present in the film. His wife
also compensates for the childhood deficiency, the underlined lack of attention that Charlie had.
The " <positive inventory>" describes her as a woman who cares for him like a mother.

Another maternal aspect that she projects onto

Nicole is that "her fridge is too full." As a reproach to the abundance, if it were too much, a
waste, an abundance that an E5 cannot give himself the pleasure of; and then, as a
confirmation of his feeling of lack: "at home you never go hungry";

what is expected of a mother.

Nicole has an emotional character, with the typical intense and persistent attachment. They
compensate neurotically. If Charlie (ES) needs to receive, she needs to give.
Another aspect of her that Charlie likes (and lacks) is the courage to show herself. "She's a
great dancer, contagious." Nicole has the vitality that Charlie lacks, we see her dancing with
people, happy and free. He is aware of his deficit: «I wish I could dance like her».

The character of the protagonist is exposed when he confesses how hard it is for him to admit
not having seen a movie or read a book. "I pretend and say I saw her a long time ago," he says.

Charlie cannot abandon the image of a highly cultivated intellectual, a form of pride that is
actually shame and fear of showing his own shortcomings, with which he is in close contact…

The list of things he likes about Nicole ends with "she is my favorite actress", something that
emphasizes the need to idealize his wife, giving her a central and elevated role in the field of his
ideal realization: the dream he imagined living with. his wife. where do you put

Then it's the wife we hear describe Charlie.

"He's indomitable, he doesn't let other people's opinions get in the way of what he wants to do.
You can't criticize or interact with his ideas." The sexual E5, the most aggressive and forceful of
the three subtypes, disguises its rigidity with heated arguments. When they do not accept or
criticize him, he perceives it as a rejection.

"He eats as if he wanted to get the food off himself." Describes here the feeling of lack and also
the disconnection from the body. Eating is something mechanical and not a moment to give
yourself pleasure. "…..as if there wasn't food for everyone." A style that reveals the fear that the
other can take away what is yours.

It is necessary. He has the need to control the world around him; sometimes he looks for an
external order to compensate for the sensation of internal fragmentation.

"Save light." Another aspect of greed, in the sense of control of economic resources, but also a
symbol of the experience of having to retain, save, keep inside.

"Don't look in the mirror." As vain as it may be, a sexual E5 is not concerned with looking after
appearance, which is not of prime importance. It is also interesting to interpret the phrase
symbolically, as if Charlie forgot to have a body, and forgot to look at himself.

"She cries when she goes to the movies." The sexual one has easier access to emotions than
the other E5s, but it is convenient that a film be the access route to emotion, and not real life. In
fact, on the scene, when leaving the cinema, it is the son who says: «I have cried four times».
Charlie replies, "Me too," and wonders, "Who knows if it was at the same times?" He doesn't
ask his little one, "When have you cried?" It is moving that hope that glimpses that his son has
cried on the same occasions. Perhaps that way he would feel a greater connection with him, or
he would see himself as more understood. "It is self-sufficient," continues, in off, the wife.
Its independence from the other serves the Is to escape from the anguish of the demands that
may be placed on it. The relationship always implies a demand, the risk of emotional blackmail.

"Never give up." We see it in the interaction with his son. Despite the pessimistic resignation of
E5, he experiences a strong need to keep the family unit cohesive. Since the family of origin is
not there and if the created one were to break up, the internal one would be too.

I would: I would have to deal with the collapse of the dream of someone to trust and the ideal of
love. place in the

"Accepts all my moods, doesn't get involved."

In addition to patience and fear of losing the other, we see here his emotional. detachment.

"It's very competitive." So much so, in fact, that he avoids investing energy in the competition
lest he risk losing and feeling humiliated. We will see this later, when faced with a prestigious
job offer.

"He likes being a father" and "he's sweet." The wife is very sensitive to this tender side of her
husband, to this hidden sensitivity that, as will happen later, can also overflow in an attack of icy
and destructive rage.

«He loses himself in his world.» As an intellectual eroticism, he derives pleasure from recreating
himself in his inner world, in his thoughts, in a reality that cannot be invaded and where he can
fantasize the satisfaction of his needs.

"His childhood was marked by alcohol and violence." The character of the sexual E5 is formed
as a reaction to the invasion of his privacy.

Charlie learned to withdraw, to anesthetize.

"He manages to create a family with the people around him." Without leaving aside the last
ones - «... even with the intern.», with whom he identifies.

Interior - Night - Subway

Charlie stands silently looking at Nicole, checking her expressions and reactions from a
distance, saying nothing. He has a childish one, looks for a contact, waits for a look and fears
the woman's reactions. The request is mute, as if the other had to guess his need, a child who
wants his mother's attention, who looks the other way, absent. In relationships, sexual Fives can
remain silent for a long time, not knowing what to say.

He is afraid to speak because of the emotional reaction that it could generate in the other; he
fears being devoured, overwhelmed by his emotions.

Interior - Night - Family House

Back at the house it's Charlie who speaks:

"We'll split things up, I don't care, you can keep most of it. We will find adjoining houses. We
want the same".
It doesn't seem like he's separating from his wife. What you are seeing is rather a problem of
organizing your son's life; if Nicole stayed with the company, it might not change much for him.
So far, their intimacy as a couple has not been seen. In fact. the relationship is naternal-fraternal
or labor.

Charlie finds it terrifying to face the drama of abandonment (he will admit later), a female
abandonment. who betrays the trust placed in his
"In the meantime, shooting the pilot for the series will be fun." Here comes the competitive and
devaluing aspect of this character, in this case with Nicole. He understands that the pilot is
"funny", not as deep as the drama he plays with it.

In fact, she replies, "Is that vulgar to you?" seeking his approval. He refuses to compare: "I
never watch television; I couldn't tell you."

When Nicole gets up again, Charlie indirectly interacts with her; he picks up his drama notebook
as he talks about his son, Henry. Nicole is the one who has to ask her to speak, to make her
comments about the scenes that she has just performed in the dress rehearsal.

First, he denies that he had anything to say, and then he does give his opinion: "I guess it
doesn't matter anymore; you're not going to act in the play>.

He finally reads the two notes, which seem like a reproach for what he is doing with his life.
"Your attitude at the beginning of the scene that seven is still too solemn.. By the end you could
tell that you were forcing emotion." The sexual Five holds back and then walks away, does not
speak, and when he does, it is with ambiguity or subtle contempt to avoid direct confrontation.

Interior - Day-Sandra's House

Charlie arrives at Nicole's mother's house in Los Angeles. His attitude is that of an old friend; he
does not feel any discomfort from the separation. Beyond the character distance, we discover
why he is so sure: he has obtained a succulent scholarship. The strength that we perceive in the
character is given by the success he has, a narcissistic compensation for the feeling of
emptiness. As a sexual E5, Charlie is unable to close the relationship, leaving bridges of
ambiguous affectivity. Nicole is the first to whom he talks about scholarship, as in a friendly,
brotherly, even intimate relationship.

Charlie doesn't show his happiness at winning it and goes straight to practicality, what to do with
the money. Work is his passion, with which he identifies. As a good E5, his imagination is
pessimistic about his professional future and about his next show. "You always have doubts at
this stage," she notes.
Nicole's mother, Sandra, comes into the kitchen to welcome her. His relationship with her is
freer and more uninhibited than the one he has with Nicole. They joke. He is sexual is cheerful,
his inner world is colorful and extravagant.

It is Nicole's sister, Cassi, who gives Charlie, just as the lawyer had indicated. divorce notice. He
is incredulous: "I feel like in a dream." He doesn't react emotionally; he doesn't get angry or
show sadness.

Just a "I don't want this." You don't want to get divorced lawyers, who will sneak in the
relationship and the ideal trust that you still want to feel. "I thought we agreed not to involve the
lawyers." He continues to compartmentalize: on the one hand he separates, on the other he
behaves as if the marriage continues.

Interior - Day - Lawver Nora's office

Nicole and Charlie's lawyers lay out their demands for divorce. The crux of the matter is where
the child should live. Charlie wants him to stay in New York, where the family was living and
where he works. Nicole wants him to live in Los Angeles, where he doesn't want to move.

Charlie does not accept that his son is going to live four thousand kilometers away, so Bert, his
lawyer, asks to speak with him in private. He advises you to accept.

CHARLIE: Then I can't be a father! ... You have to know fought for him... I feel like a criminal.

He is afraid of losing Henry and feels blamed and guilty for his failure as a husband and father.

Then, the lawyer tries to make him understand, in a way reminiscent of a rabbi (incarnates the
figure of the wise old man in the film).

BERT: Anything that comes out of here is temporary. Henry will grow up. Time is on your side,
Charlie.
The lawyer's teaching is to let things flow, not be attached to your wishes. The profound advice
here is the notion of non-attachment. But Charlie can't grasp what Charlie is feeling and for his
life, an invitation to be counseled.

Interior - Day - Charlie's House - Los Angeles

Nicole describes how they will be evaluated by a judicial expert. "Sounds horrible," says Charlie.

Nicole talks about the need to come to terms with each other for Henry's sake.

NICOLE: Do you understand why I want to stay in Los Angeles?

CHARLIE: No.
NICOLE: That's not a constructive way to
start.
CHARLIE: It is! I just don't get it.
NICOLE: Remember you promised me we could stay here a while.
CHARLIE: We talked about a lot of things, we were married: going to Europe... And we didn't do
anything!
NICOLE: You turned down a position at
Geffen that could have kept us had here for a year.
CHARLIE: It wasn't what I wanted. We had a theater company and a great life where we
were.com M
NICOLE: Was it a great life for you?
CHARLIE: You know, I'm not talking about a great marriage, I'm talking about life in Brooklyn.
Professionally. I don't know, I never considered anything different.

Charlie had given up a prominent position, carried a responsibility that an E5 does not want to
assume, that presented unknowns and the possibility of failure. that there was

CHARLIE: I agreed to send Henry to school here because the pilot was going to become a
series, and I thought you'd come back to New York later.
NICOLE: Honey, we never said that that was your assumption.
CHARLIE: Yes, we did!
NICOLE: When have we said that?
CHARLIE: "I don't know when, but we said it!
Charlie's inner dialogue is real to him. Nicole is just an internalized object and not a person she
relates to.
NICOLE: You're back in your life before you met me. People said you were too selfish to be a
great artist and I defended you. But now I see they were absolutely right. You're a bitch! You've
done nothing but manipulate me! You are a fucking demon! Now you're playing the strategy of a
victim because it works? But you and I know that you chose this life! The one you laughed at
and then didn't want! You used me so you could leave Los Angeles. I haven't used you even
once!
CHARLIE: Yes, you did, and then you blamed me for it! You always pointed out to me when I
was wrong when I wasn't good enough. Life with you was grey.

As much as he tries to manipulate his wife, Charlie feels guilty like a child, he is self-centered.

NICOLE: And I have to deal with you forever!

CHARLIE: You're like a goat! And you are winning! Fuck!
He punches the wall to unload. The gesture continues to be just a gesture, it does not give him
access to his rage, he immediately remains distanced, he does not vent it.
NICOLE: Are you kidding me? I wanted to get married. You loved me as much as I loved you.
CHARLIE: What does this have to do with
Los Angeles? What?
NICOLE: You're so caught up in your own selfishness that you don't identify it as such anymore.
You really are an idiot.
CHARLIE: Every day I wake up wishing you were dead! If I could make sure Henry was okay,
I'd want you to get sick and then get hit by a car and die!
Charlie bursts into tears. He cannot handle his aggressiveness or the expression of his rage, as
if he were afraid not of hurting but of breaking the love object.

He falls to his knees, clutching his legs like a child who comforts me and doesn't want to be
punished.
CHARLIE: I'm sorry. I feel this way about myself too.

Indoor - Night - Pub.

Charlie tells the members of his company, as a vicissitude of the divorce, that the sofa has been
taken by his wife; We didn't hear anything personal or confidential from him. "I'm sorry, I feel so
whiny and bored, I'm a fool, excuse me." The music plays, a piano plays Stephen Sondheim's
Being Alive, and Charlie walks over to the microphone and begins to sing:

Someone hug you very tight

Someone who will hurt you a lot
Someone who will steal your chair
Someone who takes your sleep away
Someone who needs you too much
Someone who knows you too well
Someone to hold you down
Put you through hell.
Be alive, be alive, be alive.

The song was written for a musical about

Robert, a man who has separated from his wife and is happy. Other characters dialogue with
him.
Charlie plays them all in a packed internal dialogue:

Blow out the candles, Robert, and make a wish. Do you wish something. Do you wish
something.
And what Robert and Charlie hated about the relationship becomes your wish:

Somebody hug me really tight. For someone to hurt me too deeply For someone to sit in my
chair And ruin my sleep. And give me the knowledge That I am alive.

Someone who needs me too much

Someone who knows me too well
Someone hold me
And put me through hell
And give me strength to be alive Make me live, make me live, make me confuse
Make fun of me with compliments make me feel used
Color my days
But loneliness is being alone, not being alive.
Someone to suffocate me with their love
Somebody do it
I'll always be there, scared just like you And together we'll survive
To be alive, to be alive, to be alive.

Charlie internalizes the pain of the loss, finally understanding the value of the relationship, even
what he hated about it.

At the end of the film, Charlie accepts a year-long job in Los Angeles, so he can be near his
son. In the middle of the street, she carries him sleepily in her arms to the car. Nicole crosses
the road, realizing that her shoe is untied, she kneels down and laces it up.

Philip Carey
The book begins with the death of Philip's mother, who is nine years old. His father, a wealthy
surgeon, had also passed away just a year earlier. We don't know much about Philip's
relationship with his mother we see him more attached to his wet nurse but we do know that she
has compassion for his foot deformity.

His paternal uncles adopt him. The woman had no children and tries by all means to replace the
mother figure. Philip 'did not know with what voracious love she loved him', he 'loved her
because she loved him'. As for his father's older brother, the vicar of a small fishing village in
Kent, he immediately assumes a cold and distant demeanor.

Philip Carey is a reserved and shy boy who is ashamed of his club foot. He quickly changes
moods, going from sorrow to lightheartedness. In his new home he is alone, there are no
children not even close.

He is very controlling; he expresses his anger and the need to become independent from his
tutors, but he is calm. He finds ground in his uncle's extensive book collection and takes refuge
in the exotic and fantastical stories of the Arabian Nights. The picture of an Es is already
outlined: detachment, loneliness, few affections.

Less than a year later he is sent to an institution to follow in his uncle's footsteps, but his foot
makes it difficult for him to adapt. The other children make fun of his malformation and he
isolates himself more and more. He wishes that all this was a dream and that he could wake up
next to his mother. He prays to God to heal his foot, but since his prayers fail, he feels cheated
by his uncle and by God.

After years of marginalization, Rose arrives, a colleague who doesn't like her.

At first, Philip is too convinced of Rose's friendship to expect anything more from her. She likes
for a short time Rose is nice to everyone; take things as they come and enjoy life. But eventually
he begins to resent that he wants an exclusive connection. And he claims as a right he had
accepted it as a favor.
He is jealous of Rose's confidences with other people, and even though he knows his attitude is
unreasonable, he can't help saying nasty things to her.

If Rose spends an hour in another room, Philip greets her with a long face when she returns.
He's mad at her for a whole day, and he suffers every time Rose doesn't notice his discontent or
ignores him on purpose. Not infrequently, although he is aware of his own stupidity, Philip
provokes a fight, and they stop talking for a couple of days. But Philip can't bear to be angry for
long, and even when he's convinced she's right he humbly apologizes to her.

We see the sexual ES's burning desire for an intimate and exclusive sexual relationship. Philip
is bitter, he feels betrayed by his friend. He wants to escape the school environment where he is
ashamed of himself, ostracized for his deformity, and now that Rose is no longer his best friend,
he doesn't feel special in anyone's eyes. He retaliates by denying others, starting with the
institute's tor, who holds him in high esteem. He convinces the director of his uncles to allow him
to leave the center and send him to Germany to study.

In Heidelberg, he lives in a hostel with other students, eager to be abroad. He finds a richer and
more open culture and meeting other people outside his environment opens his vision of the
world and of himself. Discover the feminine universe and its desires. He begins to be restless
with his instinctive impulses:
Due to him not experiencing what the novels taught him, yearning for any experiences of the
sorts felt ridiculous.

A process of spiritual growth begins for Philip when he confronts two friends he cares about who
have different theological views than his.

Reflecting hard on religion, he wonders "why should one believe in God after all." and as soon
as he says these words he realizes that he has stopped believing. "And I felt a sudden fear." To
go on to experience that "life now seemed like a more exciting adventure."

Philip shows the intellectual independence of

E5 and the virtuous side of the iconoclastic attitude of the sexual subtype, which questions the
authority of the uncle and the director of the institute. These "secret impulses of his innermost
nature" enable him to free himself from "degrading fears." This person who is so shy and, above
all, intimidated by the judgment of others, is profoundly rebellious and, in front of God, can say:
"After all, it is not my fault. I can't force myself to believe. If there is a God and he is going to
punish me because I honestly don't believe in him, I can't help it." Philip is still very young and
the process of self-acceptance is now purely intellectual, not self-love.

When he finishes his studies and returns to England, he finds a guest at his aunt and uncle's
house: Miss Wilkinson, a woman much older than him. At first, Philip decides "that he disliked
her profoundly" but then falls under the charm of this mature and free woman and is seduced by
her stories of and by her Parisian life. Miss Wilkinson tells him about her affair with an art
student. The desire for this city and the ideal of art take hold of Philip, who plans to be an artist.
Between the doubts about the young lady's age and the fear of her uncles' judgment, she tries
out her romantic fantasies in an "embarrassed but gallant" state and manages to seduce
Wilkinson and have her first sexual relationship.

In an alternation of guilt and coldness, he quickly loses the desire and idealization of Wilkinson,
but not that of being an artist. a, because "He felt a strange bitterness, the reality seemed so
different from the ideal." The sexual E5's idealization of romantic love is clear here, and how it
emphasizes sexual attraction in fantasies.

Directed by his uncle, he begins his apprenticeship as an accountant. In London he feels

alienated and experiences deep loneliness and contempt for the people around him. "Philip felt
very differently." He is depressed, isolates himself more and more, is not interested in work and
has no reason to dedicate himself to it. His colleagues keep him at a distance because they
consider him a snob, an attitude that is in keeping with his character and that compensates for
his feeling of shame and inadequacy: «With his habit of evaluating himself according to the
esteem that others had for him, he began to despise the qualities hitherto seemed to him not
unimportant».

In the office he kills time drawing and begins to value his talent for art, which Miss Wilkinson
appreciated so much. He dreams of going to Paris to fulfill his desire to be an artist. "His mind
was all stuck in the future."

Determined to go there, he sells the family jewels, shedding symbols of family affection. In this
specific instance, the sexual E5 is strongly linked to the E7 projection of himself into the future
with fantasy and the desire for something other than what he has, which is a perennial
dissatisfaction.

Paris will really be the place that allows her to open up to Philip. He appreciates his new
friendships, he feels in a living place, which nourishes him humanly, he discovers the world of
art and matures his vision of the world. He meets Cronshaw, a charismatic figure with whom he
discusses ethics and the meaning of life: "Go look at those Persian rugs, and one day or
another you will have the answer," the poet tells him.

This is how Philip meets Fanny Price, a poor art student as determined as she is lacking in
talent, who falls in love with him. When she runs out of money, Fanny commits suicide, leaving
Philip shocked, full of remorse for not understanding what was going on.

Now, Philip doesn't question her talent, but he does doubt the possibility of becoming a first-rate
artist. As a sexual E5 afraid of failure and exposure, he understands that determination does not
guarantee the achievement of his ideal, too high and unattainable, both because of his dubious
artistic skills and because he is completely disconnected from his own desire. His way of
understanding art is intellectual, it is not charged with affection; he is following someone else's
dream. We have already seen that his mother gave him a look not that of acknowledgment of
his worth, but of compassionate love for his malformation. Philip needs to find this look of
recognition somewhere else.

The death of his aunt makes him return to England. He feels that everything he had liked about
Paris is losing importance and leaves his artistic career with "a feeling of revulsion"

"Philip was upset that his uncle didn't understand the heroics of his choice." You feel
misunderstood. The protagonist here reflects the volatility of the sexual E5, his facility to change
his mind, between detachment and dissociation, but he is also a man who tries to grow by
freeing himself from the desires and ideas of others.

He decides to study medicine to continue his father's career and moves back to London, with
his usual shyness and subsequent disappointment with the medical environment.

Philip gets off to a good start in this new life until accompanying a friend to a club to help him
woo the girl doesn't reflect Philip's ideals of beauty or culture. He has his gang and he falls in
love with her. Mildred resembles Fanny Price in that she, precisely because of her Mildred lack
of passion, alternates in greenish skin and a dull appearance. Philip believes that attraction and
hate can be brought together on a fantasy basis. "She had often thought of falling in love and
there was a scene that she had imagined many times."

In this insistent courtship, without any real emotional involvement, where she puts a distance
that allows him not to enter into a deeper intimacy, Philip enters into a strong dependence on
her, which is not reciprocal. He begs her to love him, their courtship is intrusive, repeatedly
showing up at the club where she works and following her to her door to see who she's dating.
"If he had been able to satiate that hunger, he would have been able to free himself from the
chains that bound him." Mildred takes advantage of Philip's passion addiction but has an affair
with another man and leaves with him to marry.

A heartbroken Philip meets Nora, who treats him sweetly and sisterly. He is fond of her but not
in love with her, and yet he sexualizes the relationship. "And because that wish was satisfied,
Philip was more serene and accommodating. He felt totally in control of himself." You were
never in love with me Nora will tell him. "It's not nice to be in love," he replies. The romantic love
of a sexual E5s hides more physiological needs; the intimacy he seeks is erotic.

When Mildred the man returns, abandoned pregnant and the one he had promised her marriage
to, Philip immediately breaks up with Nora to be with her. They re-establish a relationship of
dependency: he supports her financially and, in order to retain her, discovering that he is no
longer capable of entertaining her, he introduces her to his friend Harry. He pulls her into his
arms, even offering her money, showing his masochistic side by wanting to show "to what abyss
of infamy they were capable of descending".

Mildred falls in love with Harry and leaves Philip, who is dismayed but also begins to understand
her passion and nature.
Sometimes it amused him that his friends, because his face did not express his emotions very
vividly and because he had a rather calm manner, thought him cold, manly, and thoughtful.
They considered him reasonable and praised his common sense; but Philip knew that his
expression was just an unconsciously assumed mask that had a protective function like the
coloration of butterflies; and for his part he was amazed at his own weakness of will. It seemed
to him that every emotion shook him like a leaf in the wind, and the onslaught of passions found
him helpless. He had no control over himself. He seemed to have it only because he was
indifferent to many things that agitated others.

Philip takes refuge in his workshop and becomes more and more passionate about his work.
One day he bumps into Mildred on the street who, reduced to poverty, has turned to prostitution
to survive. Feeling a strong compassion for her, and even more so for his little girl, he takes her
as a servant, but he no longer desires her, he is no longer a slave to passion. Mildred tries to
thank him and only knows how to do it with sex. Philip coldly rejects her and she destroys the
house and flees.

Our protagonist befriends Thorpe Athelny, who, hospitalized, is translating The Dark Night of the
Soul, from Saint John of the Cross. He begins to frequent the Athelny house, where he finds a
lively and warm family by whom he feels accepted; appreciate its simplicity.

Thorpe, who has lived until recently in Toledo, shows Philip the El Greco paintings. For him it is
a great revelation, but not only artistic. Thanks to his works he discovers more about himself
and the souls of others.

The soul of men painted its strange and burning desires through the eyes: their senses are
prodigiously acute, not for sounds, smells, colors, but for the subtle sensations of the soul. [...]
He felt dimly that he was on the threshold of a new vital discovery; a feeling of adventure
trembled in him. He thought for a moment of the love that had consumed him; love seemed so
futile compared to the excitement churning in her heart.

In a risky stock market investment you lose all your money; his dying uncle refuses to help him,
and Philip even considers killing him for the inheritance, but is constrained by remorse, rather
than ethics. When his money runs out, he sleeps on the street, unable to ask his friends for
help.

After a while, however, he decides to go to the Athelnys, who take him in and immediately find
him a job in a department store. To bear the humiliation of his new condition, he finds solace in
art. He takes refuge in a museum, and in a room without people, surrounded by the marble
ensembles of the Parthenon, he enters into a new consciousness.

These were things from long ago, centuries and centuries had passed over that unhappiness;
for two thousand years the mourners had been dust like their bereaved loved ones. Yet the
sorrow was still alive, filling Philip's heart; he was overwhelmed with compassion.
Philip is finally able to give space to the pain of loss, which opens him to a new feeling and
understanding of his past: he is born, Life had no meaning [.] the man suffers it seemed that he
had freed from the last burden of responsibility and dies [..] him […..]completely free, [..]his
irrelevance was transformed into strength […] the world was stripped of its cruelty, [..], failure
had no weight, success was worth nothing». He is free from the attachment to the idealization of
the self and the world. "Just as the weaver makes a design with no other pleasure than
aesthetics, so a man might live his own life." He understands the meaning of life that the poet
Cron shaw spoke of: "By abandoning the desire for happiness, he was abandoning the last of
his illusions."

It is here that we see Philip flourish. On the death of his uncle William, he inherits enough
money to finish his medical studies, and he realizes that Sally, the oldest of the Athelny
daughters, loves him. He still rides with his imagination projecting into the future but gives in to
accept the simple love he feels for her.

12. Transformation process and therapeutic recommendations

1. The transformation of trust as the essence of the process

How are the wounds of the inner child that lives in each sexual Five healed? As we know, the
SAT is a «school of self-knowledge and love», a psycho-spiritual path that leads to the
knowledge of the Being and the liberation of our triple loving potential (erotic, compassionate
and admiration).

Whoever follows this path learns to be and to love, passing from a deficient condition of ontic
obscuration and thirst for love that generates a false love-to an awakened consciousness and
fullness. Obviously, each person reaches this double learning in a different way, following a
particular path. Although the goal is one, the paths to the top of the mountain are many.
The specific path for the sexual E5 is the transformation of the neurotic need called trust.
When the childhood wound is reopened and healed, trust gives way to a larger and more
mysterious dimension of faith.

The sexual, the more emotional subtype of E5, requires this trust within the relationship. The
other person must be a "fairy godmother", that is, a magical couple, from a fairy tale, who gives
you total and unconditional love; or an infallible and perfect guide, who never makes a mistake.
But since the other can never correspond to the ideal and in the end always disappoints,
because he does not pass the test of perfection, this character pettily withdraws the trust that he
had given, that is, he continually gives and takes away his trust.

We can say that sexual E5 develops the neurotic need for exclusive, autarchic trust, the result
of which is to remain in the greed of not giving oneself.
Having received no parental guidance, it is an iconic trust where, as soon as the other shows
that he is not a perfect totem, he is dethroned. He thus protects himself from the danger of
being betrayed in his healthy expectation of trusting and being guided. The effect of this
iconoclastic confidence is that the sexual Is, once again, remains in the avarice of admiring lack
of love and pathological detachment.

When he withdraws his trust because the other has not adjusted to the ideal, the E5 sexual, by
renouncing the relationship, turns his trust back on himself, in a reactive way: By not meeting
the totem, perfect guide, he deludes himself into believing that he can be that guide and he
autototemizes himself.

Confidence in him is something reasoned and weighed; it has to with the control of knowledge.

The E5 sexual seems to continually say: «I give you confidence if I know, because you show it
to me, that you correspond to my ideal model; I take away your confidence when I realize that
you no longer correspond to this model». Confidence, therefore, proceeds from an intellectual
calculation. That is why it is so weak and labile.

Faith, on the other hand, goes beyond the control of thought. It represents trust in something
larger and more mysterious, of the "small mind," as the Zen masters say. Faith allows
transcendence to become small and humble, to overcome intellectual arrogance.
The sexual Five must say, "Even if I don't understand, I have faith that You understand more
than I do, and so I trust, I surrender. As far as I can go, I go with my legs and my heart, I go I
entrust myself to Your Will».

Relinquishing the selfish control of wanting to know everything in advance and trusting in the
unknown requires an act of courage. Faith comes from the heart, and not from reason. Only
when the heart opens does true transformation take place.

The SAT involves two types of learning: to be and to love, which in turn is differentiated into
three forms of love (eros, agape, philia). It thus supposes a quadruple flowering. As soon as the
Sexual E5 develops these four existential skills, it performs a fourfold metamorphosis of trust.

When you begin to release erotic love, you leave behind a kind of exclusive trust and find a
broader faith in life. By nurturing devotional love, stop looking for an iconoclastic kind of
confidence to follow faith in guidance. To the extent that he softens and opens up to
compassionate love, he abandons self-confidence and feels faith in his heart. Finally, he
recognizes the lived experience of being by discovering the "silent mind," and thus abandons
the illusory trust to take root in what can be called a fundamental faith.

This metamorphosis will not be possible without constant self-observation. If the transformation
of trust is the essence of the process, self-knowledge is its engine. Self-knowledge understood
not only in a negative sense, that is, as a lucid and critical vision of the limiting and destructive
aspects of character and its genesis, but also in a positive sense: as a curative knowledge of
the healthy resources to be activated, which for a Five are, in particular, the virtue of non-
attachment and the Sacred Idea of Transparency. We describe in the following paragraphs the
four transformations of trust into faith.

2. The four metamorphoses of trust

a) From exclusive trust to faith in life.

Identify the neurotic need for exclusive trust

After recognizing himself as a detached miser, the first step toward transformation, his germ, is
to identify his subtype, the central neurotic need, expressed, for the sexual E5, by the word
trust.

This term, like a catalyst, allows you to organize and read all your previous experience from
another point of view. The main impulse of his life up to that moment is clear to him: the search
for absolute love and the ideal partner. And it is very clear, above all, that it has been a neurotic
impulse, that is, dictated by lack, and not a healthy movement.

Now he can no longer deceive himself, because he finally has a precise diagnosis to clearly see
his existential suffering and even give it a name.

"When on the SAT I recognized that I was a sexual Five and they told me that my crazy idea
was to look for an absolute love, which is not of this world, I began to distance myself from this
madness for the first time, to question it. I realized how I had wasted a good part of my life in
pursuit of that chimera, how I had restricted my existence and devalued, excluded, a priori,
everything that did not fit into that unattainable dream" - Piero A.

Focusing totally on one person, pouring into them all the expectations of finally being happy,
devalues and excludes all the others, not considering them extraordinary enough. But also, the
other areas of life: friends, study, work and spiritual search. For all this, a true drive, a real
interest, because the sexual E5 is deeply convinced that, before he can do anything else, he
needs to find that philosopher's stone that is romantic love.

If recognizing the enneatype had given him a map, a compass to orient himself, a theoretical
reference with which to recognize the subtype gives this Five a practical action to take. You are
now ready to let go of the stubborn attachment to the almost otherworldly ideal of the perfect
partner and experience a real relationship with an earthly partner.

From the ideal couple to the real relationship

Often the sexual Five is left alone and in perpetual waiting, because such a perfect partner is
very difficult to find. He can therefore remain without sexual contact, that is, give up erotic
pleasure. An important step therefore is to unlock your sexuality and give yourself permission to
explore your erotic potential. For this, a bodily and experiential therapeutic approach, such as
gestalt or theater, is very convenient.
"I didn't have sex for 10 years. Between the ages of twenty-three and thirty-three I had remained
in an ascetic position, under the illusion that my ex-partner; who had left me, would come back
to me.

I had tried to unlock myself with Jungian analysis, but without success. It was with SATI and the
combined practice of spontaneous movement and Gestalt therapy that I finally broke free. In
particular, I remember a masterful theater session that transforms with Antonio Ferrara. He
suggested that I undress and identify myself with a bull in heat in search of females to mount.
That was how I finally broke my resistance, I freed myself. That same night I had sexual
intercourse, and from that moment I began, in the following months, never going through a
phase of experimentation in the sexual field that I had allowed. I gave myself permission to give
and receive pleasure without feel guilty for betraying blind fidelity to the ideal of absolute
romantic love."- Piero A.

Free sexual experimentation, one more step for the E5 sexual is to learn to be with a partner.
Being in a relationship is, in fact, very challenging, because in the intimate relationship all the
most archaic fears and anxieties of this nature, which have their roots in primary relationships
with parents, gradually rise to the surface. Obviously, the intimate relationship allows these
unconscious contents to come to light to be seen, processed and overcome, which is why it is a
national stage of sexuality.

A first challenge is to choose the real relationship and give up the ideal one. After the inaugural
phase of falling in love, the sexual E5 begins to notice all the imperfections of the couple (for
example, the aesthetic ones, those of physical appearance, like the slightest spots on the
skin...) as an excuse to withdraw. and detach emotionally.

This is clearly a defensive maneuver to avoid the threat of being trapped in the relationship.

The E5 sexual, which among the three subtypes is the most inclined to lose itself in fantasies,
has imagined until now that there could be a perfect partner from all points of view, with whom
they share everything (ideals, interests, perceptions... .) without ever incurring the slightest
conflict. Now, catapulted into reality, he realizes that the differences between him and his flesh
and blood partner exist, that perfect symbiosis is not possible and that it is necessary to accept
the other in their differences. In order to stay in a relationship, you need to know the most
important things that you can share with your partner and abandon the childhood dream of
being able to split everything.

On a deeper level, the sexual E5 understands that the Fairy Godmother ideal is a primitive
idealization, that is, a defense mechanism he has erected to protect himself from the Witch
(mother) he introjected during childhood. In other words, he understands that, in order to avoid a
potentially dangerous relationship like the one he lived with his mother, he has created an
unattainable ideal where he can escape and take refuge, in his imagination, every time his
partner reminds him of that unhealthy primary relationship.
Having understood the mechanism, he is ready to withdraw this projection of the mother (witch)
from his partner, and also to give up the primitive defensive idealization (the fairy godmother) in
order to relate to the real person in front of him. It no longer demands an exclusive and
omnipresent relationship, but rather opens itself to other relationships (for example, friendship),
in which it can satisfy other needs that have been left unfulfilled in the couple.

A second challenge, closely related to the first, is to allow time to overcome the encroaching
and engulfing anxieties that arise in the intimate relationship as it grows closer.

"After six months of relationship, I invited my partner to come and sleep at my house, in my
"den". During the night I had a nightmare in which my partner devoured me. I woke up suddenly
with anguish, to check the situation: I saw that she was sleeping, placid very innocent. At that
moment I understood that my dream fantasy had nothing to do with reality, and that it came
from my relationship with my mother."- Piero A.

This significant testimony reveals the core of the neurotic need for exclusive trust, which arises
from the fear experienced in childhood of being engulfed, devoured by a manipulative and
intrusive mother. Still traumatized by this first relationship, he tries to protect himself with the
ideal of all-embracing love which, in fact, being unattainable, keeps him away from
relationships.

The sexual Five person needs to acknowledge their old hurt and give themselves the time to
develop a new trust with their partner, which includes setting limits, expressing anger and
tolerating conflict or, rather, experiencing it as an opportunity for growth that encourages you to
stay in the relationship and not as an excuse to abandon them.

Understanding the origin of the erotic wound

Abandon the fantasy of the decisive lightning bolt, the dazzling magic and perennial lightning
bolt. Renounce the grandiose ideal of the semi-divine couple. And allow yourself, instead, the
time to gently enter an intimate human relationship, gradually opening your heart in everyday
life. This is how the sexual E5 gives himself the opportunity to understand and heal his old
relational wound more deeply.

By erotic wound we understand the frustration of the child's natural needs, which range from the
need for contact and emotional connection, tenderness, sweetness and pleasure, to freely and
spontaneously expressing rage, aggressiveness and sexual impulses.

In the case of the future sexual Five child, the presence of a mother who is too intrusive and
insensitive, manipulative and enveloping, incapable of coming into emotional harmony with her
needs, determines the defense of isolation: she disconnects from her body; therefore, to feel
their emotions and also the possibility of expressing them. Instead, she takes refuge in thought
and fantasy, and seeks the control of knowledge as a substitute for the maternal contact and
care that she lacks.
This character often deludes himself into believing that by anticipating what will happen, he can
feel safe and complete.

""During several sessions of ayahuasca treatment, I began to realize to what extent the
relationship with my mother had determined the construction of my character:

First of all, I realized that I was not able to admit my most basic physical needs: hunger; thirst,
going to the bathroom... It is not that I did not perceive them, but that I lacked the healthy
movement p to go to satisfy them. It is as if there is a very strict judge inside me that blames me
and prevents me from taking care of my body. It forced me to be strong and stoic, like an
ascetic who must be able to give up everything. I realized that my mother was after this tough
dog upstairs. And I felt, very much with myself. regret, how stingy and distant and he had been.

Second, it became clear to me that I had never felt gently cradled by her; that I had never lain
relaxed against her breasts. And that, in the absence of this contact, I had felt very alone and
isolated, insecure and afraid.

So, I began to try to calm down by doing it myself, to cultivate myself in some way: the form I
found was that of thought. As I did not feel well in the present maternal embrace, I projected my
thoughts towards the future, to understand beforehand what was going to happen and thus calm
down. By not trusting the flow, that's how I began to detach myself from the process to control it.
I got out of the river and sat on the bank as a spectator: I think that was the origin of my
pathological detachment."- Piero A.

Once you understand how you have blocked your erotic potential (Freudianly summarized as
Eros and aggression), you now have the opportunity to unlock and release it, to reappropriate
your instinctive force and vital spontaneity.

The recovery of the body and rage

There are two ways that sexual E5 heals the erotic wound: reconnecting with the body and
giving yourself the freedom to express your needs.

To reincarnate in the body, in addition to the explosive yang pathway of sports or intense
physical activities (martial arts, mountain climbing, heavy lifting...) the soft yin pathway of
physical awareness. Yoga, for example, gives you a sense of rootedness and contact with the
earth and therefore a presence in the world of emotions. In fact, the sexual Five learned in
childhood to breathe shallowly to numb emotional sensitivity.

Psychedelic therapy and the use of Master

Plants can delve into this sensitivity to recover that intermediate link between thought and body,
which is precisely the awareness of feeling. The sexual E5 presents, like all schizoids, a split
between the mind and the body, as if the body obeyed automatically and abruptly to mental
commands and the tyranny of thought, without a true sensory awareness of actions.
"Several times, while drinking Ayahuasca, the Plant showed me how it was disconnected from
the body and actions. For example, I thought I had to get up or change position and immediately
the body made the movement automatically, as if it were a military order from above that had to
be obeyed without hesitation. It was like living under a tyrannical regime in which the body
obeyed mechanically, like a puppet.

I learned to interpose a moment of conscious presence between these commands, which

seemed almost like electrical impulses to me, and my bodily actions. In this moment of
attention, I could hear myself and feel, for example, whether or not I wanted to change position
and, above all, feel myself during the entire duration of the movement, even the most
microscopic. And feeling myself, I felt warmth and gentleness, attention and love for myself."-
Piero A.

The recovery of feelings can therefore be considered an act of love and self-care, of that
maternal sweetness that was missing in the first years of life. This reconquest, which is internal,
is the basis for embarking on the second path, that of emotional expression.

Once the sexual E5 has reestablished contact with his needs and has learned to respect them,
he can also manifest them.

in relationships. As we have seen, for this character the most inhibited emotion is rage, with
which nature tells us that my needs have been frustrated and I have been harmed. Anger is
therefore an act of love towards oneself, and the inner child finally has the right to claim its
need, to say "no" and to set limits against invasions and manipulations.

It can be very effective for E5 sexual to work with parental figures, where the cathartic phase of
symbolically killing the parents is followed by forgiveness and recovery. And also, the body work
where the therapist performs, at first, pressures on the chest and abdomen to open the breath
and make the client enter a "holotropic" and non-ordinary state of consciousness, which allows
him to avoid mind control and quickly access the emotional level and nuclear wounds. Then, in
a second moment, it helps him express with his body and voice the emotions that had been
blocked, to affirm the needs he had even forgotten to have.

"I remember each gestalt bodywork session as a milestone in my instinctive emancipation. In

one session I let out a cry of pain that I had been holding back for years. In another; I spat out
like a dragon a cry of rage against my father, because he had used me as a crutch and had not
let me be his son.

I remember one in which I broke a stick to rebel against a group blackmail and claim my
autonomy.
There I dismantled a complacent attitude that I had learned as a child in my relationship with my
mother, who suffocated me with her needs so that I would be the one to take care of her and not
her me."- Piero A.
Recovering the body and the emotions, allowing anger, assertively expressing desires and
disagreement, not allowing oneself to be invaded but putting the ethic of «going towards the
satisfaction of one's own needs», are, therefore, fundamental steps in the process of
transformation of the sexual E5. They create a foundation of security and inner strength that
enables you to make the decisive leap from neurotic exclusive trust to faith in life.

Faith in life force

The sexual E5, having released his attachment to the ideal woman, and having stabilized
himself in a real and daily intimate relationship, after having therapeutically healed the erotic
wound and having given voice to the needs of his inner child, he can now open himself to the
faith experience.

A daily practice related to prana, the vital force, will allow you to maintain a high level of energy,
also emotional, as well as cultivate a natural confidence in organismic self-regulation.

Another modality is the connection with the elements and forces of nature. When he needs to
get out of the narrow confines of thought, the sexual Five likes to regenerate in contact with
nature, where he can distinguish the type of energy he needs.

An aid to the release of instinct and desire are tantric practices, where you experience the flow
of pleasure beyond effort, and feel that you can surrender to a greater force flowing through
you.

There are many testimonies about the experience of happiness and surrender to a superior
power, and the vibratory currents in the body, through these tantric practices or the taking of
Ayahuasca. The little self is set aside and instead the instinctive wisdom of the body is obeyed.
Vomiting is an antidote to holding back, as is letting the tremors go through you.

"I felt that every pore of my skin exuded intrinsic happiness and joy of existing; it was like
transparent, without rigid boundaries between me and others.
It was an ecstatic experience that stayed with me even in the months that followed and taught
me to surrender to a higher force." - Piero A.

All of these bodily experiences, even if they are not understood at the time, turn out later to be
full of meaning and part of a larger plan, a deep healing process, thus consolidating the
experience of faith. In particular, these jobs, which are very exhausting and physically
challenging, give the sexual E5 the measure of its strength, allow it to inhabit the body and
experience the joy of being in a group, sharing through song and dance. dance.

Starting from a neurotic confidence, catalyzed exclusively on an idealized person, faith in the
vital force is a good point of arrival -and restart-for the sexual E5 that, by releasing its erotic
potential, opens itself to a real experience and non-mental, embodied in his body and in his
feelings.
b) From iconoclastic confidence to faith in leadership.
Recognize the shadow of iconoclastic confidence
When the sexual instinct and the erotic love linked to it have been healed, other aspects to work
on become part of the process of transformation of the sexual E5.
If the second predominant instinct of the person is social, it is that issues related to recognition
and belonging to the group come to light.

Once the sexual Five has calmed down and emotionally stabilized in the couple relationship, the
same neurotic schemes that previously suffered in the intimate sphere may reappear in the
relationship with authority. If in the couple relationship we talked about a neurotic need for
exclusive trust, we can speak here of iconoclastic trust, that classic attitude of the sexual E5 to
destroy and dethrone idols.

A first step is for you to recognize that iconoclastic bent and focus on the constellation of traits
associated with it, ranging from intellectual arrogance to quiet rebellion, covert disobedience,
contemptuous isolation from groups, narcissistic aggrandizement of himself and even messianic
tempering.

This last feature represents the most extreme and pathological case, already bordering on
psychosis, which can manifest the E5 sexual.

After a session of psychedelic therapy, I had a period of great opening of consciousness, during
which very strong images emerged from the unconscious. The most powerful vision of all was
that of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, growing from my stomach, destroying everything and everyone,
only to find itself in the most absolute and chilling solitude of outer space.

It was the mirror of my narcissistic inflation, of how my helplessness gave rise to this omnipotent
and monstrous image. I saw the dark side of my character, my thirst for spiritual power, face to
face, and the risk I was running: such a greedy pursuit of admiration, combined with an inability
to feel devotion, would leave me empty-handed, isolated, alienated, and full of anguish.

As much as these grandiose fantasies lift him to heaven, the painful falls that follow are
inevitable.
When he hits his head on the ground again, the sexual E5 feels unworthy, the last of the last.

To stop oscillating between these two poles-omnipotence and powerlessness-_and start

building a "healthy self-esteem" based on reality and not mere imagination, you need to
understand why you developed an iconoclastic confidence.

Understanding the Origin of Admiring Love

Aversion
Seeing the shadow is important so as not to get caught up in it and let it sprout a seed of
healthy self-confidence and admiring love on humbler ground. But even more important, in the
healing process, is to understand the origin, the genealogy of this aspect of the neurosis.

Thanks to the therapeutic relationship and, in particular, to the relationship with a Master, the
sexual E5 realizes that he is acting out an ancient story, that of himself and his father. He
realizes that all his ill-disguised need for recognition and to be considered as a guide (the sage,
the therapist, the guru... is linked to the inability to recognize his father and be guided by him..

Just as the mother did not give him emotional support, the father, often soft but weak, did not
give him support in terms of rules, limits. There was a lack of healthy confrontation, not to
mention healthy conflict. He is sexual has not had a wall against which to stamp himself and be
able to find his bones; it has not even been able to rebel openly to discover its strength and
outline its direction.

In order to orient himself in the world, the sexual Five, in the depths of his infantile soul, seems
to have decided to guide himself, to walk, alone, autonomous and in counter dependence.

This is obviously a defensive move, so that you no longer have to suffer depending on a weak
and unreliable guide, who leaves you alone.

It is a stubborn, angry and silent decision, made to take revenge, as if to say: "Now I will show
you how to do it alone; I don't need your guidance You haven't been there, so as long as I can
get by now, I'm going to manage on my own and I'm not going to need anything anymore."
Although at first glance he seems to be looking for a guide, in reality he rejects it and ends up
destroying it in an iconoclastic way, because he fears reviving the old wound donated by his
father.

If, therefore, at the root of the admiring lack of love and the inability to let oneself be guided is
the paternal wound, the way out of the iconoclastic confidence is to forgive the father and
abandon the infantile pretense of finding the perfect guide. This happens to the extent that the
sexual E5 progressively finds himself, recognizes and accepts that he is humanly imperfect,
basing his value on a real self-esteem and no longer on the fantasy of a grandiose self-image.
However, this journey is not always gradual and painless, but sometimes requires clean breaks
and a lot of suffering. In other words, it requires a process of death, fragmentation, and rebirth.

Integrate the shadow: imitation, rupture, originality

This complicated and intricate journey from darkness to light, which allows sexual Fives to
differentiate themselves, find their identity and a healthy self-confidence, involves three
moments: imitation, rupture and originality. But one could also say:

idealization in which the shadow is separated from the light, de-idealization in which the shadow
is projected outwards, withdrawal of projection and integration of shadow and light. imitation.
The first of these moments in its initial phase is experienced positively, with a feeling of great
admiration. The sexual E5, when he meets a Master, may feel a healthy desire to imitate him, to
develop the positive qualities that he recognizes in him. It is a phase of learning that passes
mainly through the intellectual channel of
study.

"During the first years of the SAT, I studied with great passion all of Claudio Naranjo's books
and attended his lectures. I always took notes in my notebooks, I didn't want to miss anything
he said, not even a comma. His vision exalted me and I wanted to make it mine. When it was
time to graduate in psychology, I decided to write a thesis on the psychology of enneatypes.

Once, in a SAT 5, during the confession practice in the group, I got to tell Claudio with great
sincerity: «I want to become like you». He appreciated my transparency, recognized me and
even let me be part of the SAT staff, assigning me honey. valuing me and tasks. Everything
went well and I felt with him like on my honeymoon." - Piero A.

It is, in effect, a sweet honeymoon, in which the Master is idealized and seen only in his
luminous and almost divine form. The shadow, that is, the normal human defects, are split
consciousness. by This moment of enthusiasm, with the passage of time, loses its freshness
and lightness. Innocent and clean admiration becomes corrupted and begins to get dirty,
because it turns into a desire for emulation; healthy imitation becomes sick imitation. The greed
devouring all the master's knowledge begins to reveal its side effects and contraindications.

In fact, the student realizes that he depends too much on the Teacher. It is as if he is lost in the
Master; has lost its identity. No matter how hard he tries, he cannot find his own vision, his own
independent thought, which is mere imitation.

And yet you want to feel free, autonomous and creative. And what does it do? He begins to de-
idealize and demolish the Master, as a maneuver to be able to emancipate himself from him. He
begins to project his humans; that is, it begins to take away your confidence. Thus, a shadow
remains over the Master.

Now he sees it full of defects «too trapped in this paradox, with one foot in and one foot out,
between the feeling of suffocation and the feeling of guilt, without finding a way out of this
double game. Exhausted by this ambivalence and by its internal conflict, the sexual E5 may
finally reach a breaking point in which the individual drive prevails.

Nietzsche, sexual Five, had to break with his teacher Wagner to find himself. It was not a simple
separation but a break, a clash. Nietzsche wrote against Wagner because he had to go against
himself to define himself, to define himself. He had to tear down the old idols to replace the old
Tablets with the new ones. This seems to be the way of the sexual E5.

There is a warrior phase, Apollonian, in which this character must enter: To get out of the
symbiosis and find his own voice, he has to commit parricide and stain his hands with blood.
Also in Zarathustra, in the famous chapter «The vision and the enigma», where the doctrine of
the eternal return is enunciated, the powerful image of the shepherd appears who, suffocated by
a black snake, must bite it and cut off its head in order to survive.

The shepherd, then, bit as my cry advised him: and he bit well! Away from himself he spat out
the snake's head and jumped to his feet. He is no longer a shepherd, he is no longer a man, a
transformed man, surrounded by light, who laughs! Never before in the world had a man
laughed like him.

In the same way, the sexual E5, in order to feel his strength and find himself, at a given moment
has to cut off the head of his dragon: his feeling of guilt. You must be willing to pay the price of
separation, which is precisely to feel guilty. The crucial point for him is to move from the guilt of
the child to the responsibility of the adult: to fully assume the pain of separation and the effort of
individuation.

This character, who has been accustomed to always remaining hidden in the world of fantasy,
now finally comes out into the open, becomes transparent and enters the real world into a real
relationship, in which he can break this shell of iconoclastic confidence. When the sexual E5
begins to reveal itself and stop hiding, it gives itself the opportunity to finally be exposed.

For the sexual Five, the hard and transparent confrontation seems a necessary passage, even if
it supposes a rupture. It is a restorative and corrective experience for what was missing in the
original relationship with the father. In order to renounce infantile omnipotence and adolescent
arrogance and become an adult, that crouching rebel that is the sexual Is must openly collide
with paternal authority, in order to feel the consistency of his limits and to be able to identify
himself on a real level.

Originality. If the confrontation and rupture is a warlike and Apollonian moment, what follows is
more Dionysian: chaotic but fertile. Upon rupture, the fragments disperse. You have to go
through a process of death before being reborn and recomposed. His p
Transparency allows the sexual E5 to be honest with himself and recognize if he is still looking
for the totem of knowledge to build a grandiose image of himself, or if he is already in search of
wisdom for his true psycho-spiritual growth. It allows you to see more and more quickly whether
you are motivated by genuinely altruistic or narcissistic motivations; if instead of being driven by
a genuine desire to be useful to others, he falls into the temptation of assuming a new mask
with which to receive admiration.

Detachment works in synergy with transparency and makes it possible to effectively give up the
accumulation of knowledge. The Is sexual increasingly renounces the idea that he must know
everything to act in the world. But this would not be possible if, at the same time, he had not
developed a healthy trust in his body and his emotions. It is no longer based solely on thought,
but on your instinct and your empathy. This implies an act of humility, that is, a return to humus,
to the Earth.
More sure of himself, the sexual E5 thus begins to identify himself. He finds his task, his role in
the world. After putting aside his destructive iconoclastic inclination, has entered a constructive
and concrete phase that requires a great deal of commitment.
When identified, the sexual Five also begins to experience the beauty and pleasure of being in a
group. Now that he has acquired his own voice, he feels less fragile, he is no longer afraid of
being engulfed or absorbed because he has limits, an identity, he knows himself and his
specificity. He is even capable of collaborating, of putting his skills into play. Live a healthy
power.

Being the most creative and artistically inclined subtype among misers, sexual Fives find their
own originality later in the individuation process. And he does it in the strongest and most
radical sense of the term, he finds the origin of his creativity, the source of his inspiration. Or
perhaps it would be better to say: receive.

Now that he is no longer obsessed with the idea of taking, now that he is less greedy and more
trusting, now that he has shed the "tit" of the Masters, that he has opened his mouth and his
hands, he is finally ready to receive..

At last, he recovers the master's he had needed to dethrone in order to identify himself. Now
that you no longer need to imitate them because you have found your originality, you can feel
gratitude and, for the first time, begin to truly trust. It is the moment when iconoclastic
confidence is transformed into faith in the guide.

Obedience, inspiration, and faith in leadership

Faith in guidance involves many aspects:

respect, obedience, inspiration, gratitude, offering, invocation, devotion. When the sexual E5,
having renounced the infantile narcissistic need for admiring love, and having identified himself,
comes to respect, admire and love a master external to himself, he can finally find the Master
within. Actually, the distinction between the internal disappears.

When faith in the guide replaces the neurotic need for iconoclastic trust, the rise of devotional
love naturally brings with it a sense of belonging to a community (whether spiritually or
otherwise) and a desire to serve., participating actively leaving the stingy, isolated and detached
position, to open up to a broader dimension of reciprocity. It is clear that faith in the leader gives
rise to feelings of gratitude and appreciation.

"When I first started meditating, I just liked to be silent and despised devotional practices related
to prayer; music, chanting, reciting mantras, etc. I had no faith. Today, however, all these
practices deeply reconnect me with my heart, make me feel part of it, and give me deep peace.
I have even come to the conclusion that we were born to sing, praise and give thanks." - Piero
A.

c) From self-sufficiency to faith in the heart.

See self-sufficiency and isolation
If faith in guidance implies humility and becoming small, love for the big, compassion implies
sensitivity and love for the small. This is perhaps the most difficult step for the sexual Five
person to take.

Due to his hypersensitive nature, during childhood he had to harden and desensitize,
pathologically detach himself from emotions to defend himself, as we have already pointed out
above. Therefore, an important step for the sexual E5 on the path of transformation is precisely
to recognize this pathological isolation and illuminate this illusion of separation.

Major life events, such as loss, bereavement, or illness, can also help a sexual E5 break
through the shell of isolation. These events allow you to enter in contact with the pain and thus
soften his heart.
Now that he is beginning to open up, he is more willing to receive from outside. That is, you are
ready to start activating the first of the three great currents of compassionate love, as described
in Buddhism: receiving compassion, giving compassion, and giving it to others.

Open to grace
The experience of illness seems particularly transformative for the sexual E5. It allows him to
discover that he can be cared for and accepted even when he feels weak, worthless, and
powerless.

"Being upset about not being able to move, not being able to go out and not being able to do
what I wanted when I wanted, and at the same time being happy to realize how much they love
me.

How many have cared, cared for me and prayed for me! How could I let discomfort take over my
day with a gift as great and blessed as the love I received? How important it was to feel useless,
powerless, incapable, and yet be cared for." - Mara G.

Illness offers the opportunity to learn to get out of self-sufficiency to relinquish control and ask
for help:
"The most therapeutic thing I've done lately has been a hip replacement. I spent six months
without putting weight on my right leg, for a month I couldn't get dressed, they gave me
prepared food, I couldn't do my nails, wash my foot, put on a sock.

How difficult it was to learn to ask and to be served! How difficult it was to know what he wanted
in order to ask for it! How important it was to let people deal with my things their way and not
mine! Losing control of everything!" - Maria Luiza F.

The sexual E5 that opens itself to pain also opens it to receive the grace of care, which has the
gratuitousness of the unexpected gift:
"Once I dreamed that I fell down a frozen stream. At the end of the descent my face was
completely covered in branches and chunks of ice.

My wife was waiting for me on the shore, and began to gently caress my face. With each touch,
the ice melted and my skin returned to light.

Perhaps for the first time in my life I felt that I was really receiving, because something in me
had opened up."

Thanks to this emotional thaw, the sexual Five matures in the awareness that openness to
grace is a fundamental step on the path to wholeness; he learns to trust that love exists in the
universe, as long as he lays down his autarkic illusion and opens himself to receive it.

The only thing that the effort needs is to stop trying and relax, because it generates tension and
closure, while the relaxation that trusting brings opening.

Feel compassion for oneself and forgive oneself

Breaking the wall of indifference towards one's own needs and opening oneself to receiving are
clearly the prelude to being able to be more attentive and present to the needs of others, in a
spontaneous and sincere way, and not forced, self-induced to compensate for guilt for his
stinginess.

But before reaching this sense of connectedness with others, the sexual E5 has to activate
compassionate love for itself. A quality that is awakened through remembering one's own heart
and the process of forgiving oneself.

As the sense of isolation begins to dissolve, the sexual Five understands that in order to
reconnect with himself and experience loving feelings, it is very important to feel his own heart.
The heart chakra, located in the center of our being, is the most closed and asleep part of E5.
To wake it up, you have to pay attention to it, take care of it and remember it:

"During an Ayahuasca ceremony, I began to put my hands on tensions that my heart. It was a
time when I sometimes felt that my chest area hurt, I think because of the worries and feeling
that I lived. I had to take better care of myself and my heart, I began to caress it gently. I
visualized the heart as a nest and, within it, a newborn baby.

That baby was me. I was moved and felt immense tenderness for that creature." - Piero A.

A greater sensitivity to himself opens the way to forgiveness. If forgiving parent figures is
exhausting and difficult, forgiving yourself is even more so. It happens by accepting: The sexual
Five must, through the virtue of non-attachment, get rid of the mandates, the impulses, the
duties and, in general, of all the super ego contents that come from his dog above, that is, from
your inner judge.
This jailer, this internal tyrant, behaves like a seen slave who keeps telling him: "If you don't
reach the ideal that I have set for you, you are worthless. You must achieve it, in the time and in
the way I have established."

By frantically pursuing these grandiose ideals and obeying these mandates, the sexual E5
disconnects from the heart feelings, becoming harmful to himself and to and from others.

The experience of forgiveness goes through a moment of deep repentance, in which you
recognize the inevitability and necessity of sin. If we did not sin, we would not be able to feel the
damage we caused to ourselves and to others. Nor, therefore, the desire for redemption (said in
Eastern terms: cleaning up our karma, that is, the modification of our negative actions and
behaviors).

In this process of forgiveness, music (classical music in particular) offers valuable help, because
it speaks directly to the heart and to the affections.

"During a very deep work, I had a death experience. I saw my own funeral. As I gazed at my
body in the coffin, I was completely enraptured by the music. It was touching and sweet music,
motherly and compassionate. The sounds of the violin brought me messages from another
dimension. I don't know how it happened, but music, without ceasing to be music, was at the
same time also a verb, also a voice, a female voice.

And one word, above all, resonated in my soul: forgiveness. With tears in my eyes, I felt an
immense contrition, a deep regret for the wrong he had done to me. Meanwhile, I looked at my
body and felt that I could forgive, let go of that old me from the past, that part of me that was so
hard and unyielding in having to live up to unattainable ideals. Saying goodbye to her; I did not
feel contempt for that part, but love and gratitude.

After that experience, little by little I became softer with myself. I learned to be more generous
with my inner child; Instead of following the grand but neurotic needs of my ideal self, I began to
listen to the small but healthy needs of my child self."- Piero A.

Thanks to the recovery of the heart and the forgiveness of the parental figures and oneself, the
sexual E5 reaches a great transformation: he finally perceives that he has a loving mother within
him.
And now I know that taking care of myself is important for love of me and for love of everyone
who has helped me in this process. I have rescued the recognition of the inner mother. It is a
feeling of "I have a mother" that did not exist before.

Faith in the heart

All of these steps (coming out of the illusion of isolation, opening to receive, connecting in the
heart, forgiving each other) lead to a progressive expansion of the potential of love and the
development of a faith in the heart that replaces the neurotic need to be self-sufficient in
autarkic confidence. This is the time when the sexual E5 also begins to open up to compassion
for others.

By faith in the heart, we basically mean two things: return to the heart and joy in generosity.

First of all, faith in the heart implies the certainty, beyond any doubt, that one can return to the
heart at any time. The sexual E5, as well as the other two subtypes, lives more in the mind and
deceives itself, waiting for the answers it seeks from thought. When he recognizes the limits of
thinking and his compulsion to want to understand everything, he accesses the dimension of the
heart, where he knows that he can seek refuge again.

Second, faith in the heart leads the sexual E5 to overcome its fear of giving and its tendency to
hold back, to discover the joy of generosity. As exhausting as it is, the practice of generosity, if
trained, has an enormously healing effect and is a powerful antidote to greed.

When they open to receiving, sexual Fives finally understand the importance of giving as well.
He intuits the universal law of reciprocity: you receive what you have given, and when you give,
you receive. Actually, giving is not a loss, but a gain, because it immediately generates a feeling
of gratuitous happiness and because, moreover, it is followed, sooner or later, by a response
from the universe.

The sexual E5 feels more and more the burning desire to live as long as possible with an open
heart, because he feels that when he closes it, life becomes gray and meaningless. Discover
wisdom without compassion is sterile and insufficient. He also realizes that the heart is
immensely more powerful than reason and that the fear of not succeeding is but another face of
greed, because it comes from not giving oneself completely, from blocking the flow of
generosity.

d) From illusory trust to fundamental faith

.
Negative self-knowledge and illusory confidence
While the three aspects discussed so far have to do with the release of the potential of love, this
fourth facet of the transformation of trust into faith deals mainly with the aspect of knowledge.

"Thanks to the study of Buddhism and the practice of meditation on the absence of a self,
whenever I felt suffering, I learned to ask myself:

"What idea of myself am I holding on to? And what idea of myself am I rejecting?" So, I came to
the conclusion that all these ideas are nothing more than useless fantasies because they refer
to a phantom self that is evanescent, insubstantial, non-existent. And when I managed to let go
of them, I always felt a great release." - Piero A.

To free himself from the masks and let go of the illusions about himself, the sexual E5 needs to
deepen his self-knowledge also in a positive sense and recognize the authentic experience of
the Being. It is this experience that will lead him to abandon the illusory confidence to find faith
fundamental.

Positive self-knowledge and fundamental faith

Fundamental faith is the state of consciousness that arises from the experience of existing, of
feeling fully and unequivocally present, of being.

It is the unshakable certainty that comes from the direct and concrete knowledge of the Being. It
is a non-intellectual knowledge: it is the intuitive and immediate awareness of being present.

This is why we speak of "faith"; because being and feeling present can be experienced but not
explained. The experience of being goes beyond conceptual limits. Reason must step aside and
accept the mystery.

And we speak of "fundamental" because the experience of Being, irreducible and unobjectivable
to "something", is nevertheless the foundation of all things, that is, of all the phenomena of
which we can be aware. The royal road to reach this experience is that of contemplative
practice. The spiritually oriented person usually goes in search of Teachers who can guide him
and introduce him to this knowledge.

Therefore, the fundamental faith can be understood as that refuge not in the intrinsic experience
of being. Inner faith, then, and outer surety. We can see that moving from illusory trust to
fundamental faith has profoundly healing effects.

In fact, if the first effect is to feel at home, the second is to free yourself from the effort of looking
outside:
"Through the experience lived in the practice I had the feeling of having finally returned home,
where I felt fulfilled; I no longer needed to search for anything outside. As Claudio wrote me in a
dedication, he had tasted the taste of "the great peace, in the recognition of what is so sought
after and never lost." What I had always looked for there waiting for me, I had never lost it! the
Being. It was I who had been absent chasing only shadows and illusions."- Piero A.

It is understandable how important it is for a person. It is sexual to feel that not all food comes
from outside, but that inside her there is an inexhaustible inner source that can fill and nourish
her, always
.
A third important achievement that arises from the experience of the Self is the acquisition of a
new way of seeing, that is, of a point of view external to the ego and its mechanisms, which
allows disidentification and non-attachment. Once the sexual Five has encountered the
psychology of enneatypes and identified himself, rooting himself in conscious presence allows
him to look lovingly at the play of characters without identifying with it.
Rooting oneself in the Being implies, therefore, the possibility of practicing the virtue of the Five,
non-attachment, which is the antidote against the passion of greed. When the sexual Is knows
that he is sexual, he can let go of the things he was holding on to.

Although all the benefits of meditation seen so far (feeling at home, relaxation of tension, non-
attachment) are universal, that is, they affect all characters, some more specific ones are
particularly evolutionary for the sexual five. At a later stage in the transformation process,
mindfulness expands: from personal it becomes transpersonal. This subtype, being, like the
other two, dominated by the fixation of pathological detachment, actually tends to experience
the presence of meditative awareness as strictly personal, separate and distinct from others. At
a deep level, there is a form of possessiveness that regards presence as "mine," as if it were an
object, a treasure to be jealously guarded, as a brand-new protection against the threat of losing
one's safe distance. in relationships.

While meditating alone, the sexual E5 cannot see this possessive aspect of the self. He only
notices it when he participates in a collective spiritual practice. It is in the group that he can
recognize, and thus overcome this possession:

"During a work in which I had set the intention to better understand mindfulness, I realized that
the more I tried to be present, and the more I tried to understand what my presence was, the
more distanced and separated from the group I felt.

Everyone else sang and danced but I didn't participate, I didn't feel part of it. I then positioned
myself as an external observer and felt my presence very cold, arid and aseptic. He suffered in
this isolation, but he did not know how to get out of it.

Until, finally, I let myself be carried away by the rhythm of the dance and the sweetness of the
song. It was at that moment that I understood that only if I forgot «my» separate presence, if I
forgot myself, only if I merged and dissolved and me in the harmony of the song, my voice in
unison with that of the group, I felt better:" - Piero A.

This passage from personal and still isolated presence to shared and transpersonal presence
thus helps to dismantle pathological detachment and the illusion of being separate and avoids
the arrogance of believing oneself superior and the construction of a spiritual ego.

Finally, if he perseveres in meditative practice, intensifying it even through retreats, the sexual
E5 can access "peak experiences" that have a profoundly healing effect and can further
dissolve, at least temporarily, his dualistic illusion of a 1 separate and detached. They are
experiences that go beyond language and, therefore, are not describable, but it is worth
mentioning them to indicate their effect on the transformation process.

Sometimes the contemplative state is so deep that the separation between inside and outside
disappears completely: "inside" and "outside"
"me" and "you". "near" and "far". "here" and there', even 'before' and 'after' turning out to be just
mental labels, with which conceptual thought attempts to catch hold of the world and fix the flow
of life. They are but illusory limits, leading to a dualistic view. Just as an aversion to neurosis
had arisen through the negative self-knowledge of the character, an aversion to thought and
language emerges here. A true nausea for knowledge arises, a great weariness of the "doing"
of the mind, accompanied by an immense respect for sacred not knowing.

In this dissolution of thought and limits, all phenomena appear, beyond their names, as
radiation, pulsation of the Being. The eagle that flies in the sky is no longer a bird in the air, but
the eagle of the sky. It is inseparable from space; it is its natural expression. And everything, in
this open and transparent space, is welcome.

Everything is received with equanimity. Pleasure and pain are the same: everything becomes
enjoyment.

Faith in being then becomes faith in becoming,

because Being and Becoming are one. Apollo and Dionysus finally meet. They are only
moments, moments of grace, but they heal the deepest wound of the sexual E5: that of
believing oneself to be a separate self, the wound of trust.

3. Therapeutic recommendations and final observations

Spontaneous movement, therapeutic theater, and psychotherapy (particularly Gestalt combined
with expressive bodywork and holotropic breathwork) allow erotic potential to be released,
anger to be expressed, boundaries to be learned, and relationships to heal to be healed.
• Living in a relationship is very transformative because it moves sexual E5 away from fantasy
and roots it in reality.
• A physical discipline (such as yoga or spending time in nature) restores the energy and vitality
that you tend to lose when you remain too withdrawn into fantasy.
•The relationship with the guiding figures: therapists and teachers, allows this character to
identify his iconoclastic position to overcome it and make peace with his parents, forgive them
and let them go, assuming responsibility for his own life in an adult way and finding his own
originality.
• Psychedelic therapy deepens the therapeutic process and reveals the deepest and darkest
aspects of character.
•Drinking Ayahuasca is, together with meditation, a powerful factor of transformation, because it
opens the heart and teaches the sexual E5 to abandon control and trust in a superior force.
• The practice of meditation gives you the fundamental foundation: the experience of being
present, which allows you to let go of many attachments and dissolve your dualistic view of a
separate and detached self.
•The painful facts of life, in particular loss and illness, help this character break out of the crazy
idea of isolation and open up.
• The Sacred Idea of Transparency finally gives the Sexual Being the ability to reveal itself, and
gives it the sense of being open, receptive and in connection with the universe and its earthly
and heavenly gifts.
At this level, sexual Fives can let go of the neurotic need for trust and have faith in life, inner
guidance, and love.

Social 5

1. Passion in the Sphere of Instinct: How Avarice Works in the Social instinct

The sin of Greed, which is characterized by both the passion of withholding and the act of not
giving, appears peculiarly in the social subtype.

Being a very reserved and internally distant person, he is, of the three E5s, the most open to
exchanges and the most available to contact.

However, this exchange is based on their intellectuality and the expression of their knowledge.
And even in relation to these, the social E5 is a miser: he does not reveal everything he knows;
he keeps his valuable treasures in the trunk. As the Fathers of the Church reveal to us, greed is
not only for land and goods but also for glory and knowledge, spiritual and knowledge.

Knowledge is his amusement park and, at the same time, a lifeline against feeling insecure and
inferior. Excessive intellectuality protects him, reducing the tension of the fear of not belonging.

Given that the social instinct is directed towards a confirmation of belonging, first in the family,
and then in social groups, the form found by this character is not to be the protagonist but, from
afar, to observe and absorb all forms of knowledge. Not only the official of the books and
theories, but all the knowledge that can be acquired with his attentive gaze and his abstract
intelligence. He stands out in the social media for always having a whole body of knowledge at
hand that, while making him important, protects him from his delicate and fragile emotional core.
Thus, the old feeling of loneliness and isolation is replaced by a sense of self-importance and
belonging.

His lack of confidence in bonds distances him from intimacy. The strange feeling that he could
be devoured by the other, and the distrust that he can be loved, keep him out of contact, in the
belief that it is not worth relating. A fearful Greed, with the fantasy that in the relationship one
lets something of himself escape, brings him the catastrophe of being left with nothing.

"I remember once, when I finished reading my texts, I prepared to circulate among my audience
so that they could not get too close to me.

Interestingly, as I was leaving, someone handed me a piece of paper that said, "Be careful on
the island." That shocked me and made me realize that I kept myself isolated from everyone
behind an invisible boundary."' - Sergio V.
In a defense against pain and frustration, he prefers not to create expectations and easily gives
up attachments. Very few people he truly trusts. He invests his energy in the search for an
object beyond what human relations offer.

This loss of trust in relationships is a reflection of a wound in the basic affective bond, since the
maternal presence was replaced by a feeling of emptiness and, as a reaction, she has adopted
a pathologically detached attitude. The social E5 developed a psychic defense capable of
forgetting love; rather, he disconnects from his affective need and, consequently, from his own
capacity for love.

Therefore, this subtype has that same attitude of all misers to hold back in the face of desires,
impulses and desires, and the need for contact. He is demanding with himself and takes a long
time to find the path of self-love and abundance. He constantly suffers the demands of his ideal
and, when it comes to his well-being, he does not choose the easiest ways.
He presents a great attachment to himself and a strong resistance to surrender. Your pain will
not reveal it easily. It is easier for a Socialist to share their ideas than to give away something of
their intimacy or what they may be experiencing in the present. Sharing knowledge does not
mean a deep exchange; on the contrary, it can even alienate you from relationships, making
you distant.

"Over the years I realized that the search for autonomy and intimacy were part of my character.

As for the knowledge, I almost always developed it by myself, without having to resort to others.
I wanted to learn on my own, develop on my own, create on my own and not suffer any kind of
external interference on what and how to think. I devoted all my concentration and interest to
mastering the ideas in order to retain the feeling of possessing something unknown. I liked that
sometimes that became something inaccessible to others." - Sergio V.

The social E5 has a hard time developing genuine generosity. His greed is overshadowed by
the shadow of his Totem, which belies all his selfishness and attachment. But, in the end, he is
someone who is not available to the other, who from the top of his ivory tower observes the
world without getting involved or committing himself.

2. The Characteristic Neurotic Need

The Totem is a symbol of the divine and, at the same time, of power. It is a cult object that has
its place in the center of the tribe and fulfills the function of revealing the sacred, that which must
be admired and respected. In the case of the social E5, its totem can be inside or outside of
itself, projecting wherever it is an idealized image covered with sacredness, power and
luminosity.
Wherever this image is projected, the person or obiect will be deeply admired for this character,
which transforms his totem into something totally good. In the same way, all the rest can
become totally bad, unimportant, disposable things. The sicker the person, the more polarized
the idealization and devaluation will be.
This idealization experienced by the social E5, which we can call a super-idealization, leads him
to look for something elevated and special that he does not find in the concrete human world,
only in the abstract of thoughts and ideals. This search for the extraordinary and for added value
makes him despise ordinary life and "ordinary" people, who are sacrificed on the altar of his
totem.

This orientation towards the extraordinary leads the social E5 to always seek, whether in
science or spirituality, knowledge of something that he considers very important. Whatever the
object of his search and idealization, he will invest all his saved energy in human relationships.

He accumulates more and more knowledge of what interests him, with the intention of
absorbing as much of it as possible. The basic motivation of the social E5 is to fill, through this
knowledge, the feeling of lack and emptiness with which it is permanently in contact. It confuses
the being with knowledge and replaces the direct experience of life with the world of ideas and
thoughts. Thus, he lives in his mental world, absorbed in theories that try to explain reality,
without experiencing it.

The lack of experiences throws the social 5 into a void. A void that progressively enlarges due
to his retentive attitude and the few exchanges that he proposes. The impoverishment of the
experiences leads him to an arid emotional world and to a mortification of his body and instinct.
In this way, the inner life of a social E5 is often dull and boring. He compensates for the lack of
life with the intensity of his search for knowledge. "I know, therefore I am" is the phrase that
sums up this personality. We are talking about a very observant individual with a great capacity
for analysis; of a cunning type who hardly shows himself and who does not star in the scenes in
which he participates; who finally ends up imagining more than actually living.

The sense of emptiness experienced by the

Social E5 goes hand in hand with an impoverished self-image (as opposed to the idealized
image of his Totem) and a feeling of worthlessness. His personal value is almost always
questioned, measured by his totem ruler, who makes him believe that knowledge gained is
never enough.

This belief that "I'm not or that I'm not ready yet" feeds their lack of self-confidence enough."
himself and maintains an attitude of not exposing himself and not launching himself. A good
example can be found in Leonardo da Vinci, who, having deeply searched for knowledge in
different areas, always thought he hadn't studied enough.

His works were left unfinished one after another, since the need for such a long period of study
did not allow him to complete them on time. Charles Darwin, another representative of this
subtype, took more than twenty years to write The Origin of Species, always thinking that it was
still incomplete.
Now, the Totem is only a symbolic figure, not something alive. The idealization of the social E5
separates him from his own reality and prevents him from accepting himself and his human
condition.

Identified with his idealized part, or falling into the opposite polarity, self-devaluation, he
distances himself from himself, becoming less alive than he could be. You run the risk of ending
up as a stone or wooden totem, motionless and lifeless. As Claudio Naranjo says, this character
establishes a polarity between the extraordinary and what doesn't make sense, so that nothing
makes sense until the extraordinary is achieved.

We find a clear example of how a social E5 works in Honoré de Balzac's novel, In Search of the
Absolute. It is the story of a chemist who focuses very intensely on his research, in the
ambitious search for an important revelation. In this process, he puts his studies above all other
needs, be it intimacy, survival, or self-care. The title of the work exemplifies the central idea of
this character, who seeks the extraordinary and despises ordinary life.

3. Interpersonal Strategy and Associated Irrational Ideas

The madness of the social E5 is above all that it hopes to fill its existential malaise with
something very valuable that is not of this world, it is not in everyday life, in relationships. He
fantasizes that only when he finds such a big thing will he satisfy his existential emptiness, with
which he is permanently in contact.

They always feel as if their resources are limited, not only do they have difficulty sharing, but
they also have great difficulty asking for, taking what they need or achieving it through
seduction. "Don't "waste" your time, energy, and resources on things that have nothing to do
with that all-important quest you imagine yourself to be on." If the social E5 doesn't go after the
idealized, it has the feeling of wasting it's time, which isn't much. This is where the avarice lies.

Thus, the first big crazy idea of E5 social is:

«There is nothing in the world of relationships that interests me so much» because, after all,
what you expect and need is not going to come to you. It Is better, therefore, not to expect from
the bonds that love that he longs for so much. Setting expectations for yourself makes you
suffer, as does moving in the direction of what you want. The best strategy, according to him, is
to isolate yourself, distance yourself.

Claudio Naranjo maintains that distancing is the key word for the fixation of E5, with his
predisposition to think that life in isolation is the best option. Five embodies the introverted end
of the Enneagram. For him, the best strategy in life is to withdraw, because relationships are not
worth it.

Because of this idea, he develops a great deal of self-sufficiency and seems to feel complete in
separating himself from the rest, a situation in which he feels free to be.
The E5 separates itself from others both physically and emotionally. It usually has difficulties
with contact since it associates intimacy with the fear of being devoured. It is clearly someone
who believes that being alone is greater than being accompanied.

Passion and strategy reinforce each other. The miser has the feeling that life gives him little,
which leads him to believe in his heart that he has very little to offer.

Thus, and for the sake of not giving away the "little" he possesses and being left with nothing -
"life will never be generous" -, he distances himself. Paradoxically, by distancing himself he
continues to receive little, which reinforces in him the feeling that a relationship is not worth
having. Thus he loses even more interest in the exchange. Greed leads to estrangement and
this, in turn, reinforces greed. Distancing "enhances greed," so to speak. It is not just about
retaining, but about keeping everything inside oneself so as not to have to turn to anyone. That
is why the E5 is so autonomous.

The type 5's mind is organized into compartments that have little or no connection to one
another. This generates a particular discontinuity in the flow of the lived experience, producing a
fragmentation of it and making the experiences not influence each other. In any situation, it is
difficult for him to access the memories and experiences that are in the other spaces of his
psyche, which leaves his mind blank and this makes genuine communication difficult, favoring
social isolation.

By not developing the capacity for confrontation, the social E5 passively defends himself against
the possible intrusions of the other, who imagines he could easily take away what little he has;
through isolation. Just like the structure of some ships in watertight compartments, which work
by closing if the ship is flooded, in order to avoid sinking, the defense of isolation implies giving
in, surrendering the small space invaded to save the rest of itself.

For this to work, it is vitally important to keep a low emotional volume, since intense emotions
disarm such isolated spaces by unifying the experience and leaving the person without this
defense. The classic affective flattening of the schizoid personality therefore contributes to
maintaining this defensive organization of the psyche.

As this isolation is a permanent defensive configuration of the mind of the social E5, it is
replicated in behavior and in ties. For example, it is common to establish specific ties with
people or groups that have no contact with each other, and to develop different behaviors,
thoughts and even a sense of identity with each of these groups. As if the history of each
specific link took place in parallel, without connecting with the rest of the narrative and
experiences of the person. In certain situations, when these barriers between groups are broken
down and people from different backgrounds get together, confusion, greater estrangement and
even a feeling of depersonalization are triggered.

The way to resolve this identity conflict is often to generate links based on abstract and
theoretical issues that the Social E5 handles comfortably, thus avoiding the most intimate
contact, which exposes him to a lack of control of his emotional world and eventual and feared
deconfiguration of his defensive mind partitioned mind.

This is how Jorge Luis Borges, the Argentine writer, spoke of one of his great friends:

"With Bioy Casares we will see each other four or five times a year and we are close friends. He
is one of my best friends, he got married and forgot to tell me he got married. Since we talked
about general topics and he was very shy, he also thought that telling me personal things was
impertinent.
We never confided in each other."

Other "crazy ideas" frequent in the social E5

My value is given by the importance of my knowledge
The value the social 5 has is obtained primarily through knowledge. The knowledge must be
seen as something high up; difficult to obtain, something rare in the eyes of those the social 5 is
around.

In this way, they build identity and self-esteem in an autistic way, disregarding the relational and
affective world. The Social E5 invests much of his time and energy in acquiring knowledge in
order to relate to others through it and thus occupy his place in society.

This search for the idealized hides a narcissistic desire to be admired, to be important for being
after the great, for understanding things that few understand, for possessing knowledge
reserved for a handful. A deep childhood wound seeks to be overcompensated for this secret
desire to be highly recognized.

"Trying to understand how my character was formed, I think I lived in a family where my mother
was very fearful and overprotective and my father traveled a lot, so he was absent from home
for some time. As usual in childhood, I began to idealize him, to want to be like him, I did things
that he did as a child, etc. When he was not there, I stayed with my mother and I remember
feeling very scared." - Damian P.

My interest in an important cause makes me a special person.

The Social E5 often feels special and above others just for pursuing a lofty ideal. This leads him
to a tireless search and along different paths, since he is easily disillusioned when he becomes
aware that the area of interest, spiritual path or knowledge that he travels is shared with many
other people and is therefore no longer so special.

The crazy idea of being special also makes it difficult for them to collaborate among equals, due
to the associated irrational belief that "if I share, I lose what is mine." And, of course, then it will
no longer be special.
"I began to feel valued, to occupy a place where I was "the one who knew" about complex
issues, which the others did not handle. This helped me to relate to my peers but from a site
that was not exactly that of a peer. I think my narcissism used this to cover the wound of not
being accepted by my peers and then I gradually became someone who felt somewhat superior
but at the same time had a great feeling of inferiority due to my lack of social skills. I was
someone more cultured in a town of the uncultured, but they didn't choose me until the end to
play soccer and I stayed halfway without participating." - Damian P.

My existential emptiness will be filled when I reach a more complete knowledge of something
very important

The social E5 pursues a mirage since its emptiness is not calmed with knowledge. But the
existential anguish that he lives leads him to persevere in the intellectual search through going
around from one search to another with the goal of knowing the next bringing closure to this
thirst.

Links with uninteresting people are a waste of time

The Social E5 seeks relationships where he can gain knowledge or learn something. You
therefore need to hang out with people you admire. He can't stand those banal conversations
about mundane topics that are so common in any relationship. He is blind to the affective
exchange that occurs during those moments. This gives it an aspect of excessive seriousness,
which makes it difficult to build social relationships.

If they admire me, that means they feel affection for me

With its hypertrophy of admiring love at the expense of compassion and eroticism, the social E5
confuses being admired with receiving affection. He does not recognize affection, or
experiences it as suffocating, for which he does not especially seek it. Sexuality is important but
he lives it secretly, as if he were another person, and it does not carry the weight of admiration.

By seeking relationships where he establishes himself as an object of admiration, he attempts to

supply a basic lack of affection and sustain his fragile narcissism. In an intimate relationship
where he did not feel superior, the necessary component of admiration would be missing to feel
seen and important.

Emotions are of little importance

The E5 social feels little; That is why he does not understand or know how to handle himself
emotionally. It is as if they are speaking to you in a foreign language of which you can recognize
a word or two per sentence. The social E5 devalues emotions and sees in someone who is
carried away by emotions a sign of weakness. Devaluing the emotional world avoids feeling
invaded by a turbulent and chaotic state that can only be controlled by putting it under rational
control and separating it from physical perceptions.
I don't need to compete with others

Feeling out of the world can be distressing at times, but many times it hides this idea, which has
a deep narcissistic content. The social E5 feels inferior and superior at the same time; therefore,
the idea that you do not need to compete and fight for something in life, like everyone else, is
common. It is as if he thinks that others will realize his value without him having to do anything
to prove it objectively.

It is also a way of rationalizing their difficulties with confrontation and the expression of
aggressiveness, necessary in competitive situations. At the same time, if he feels threatened in
his narcissism of being special, he will attack the competitor from the intellectual superiority,
without getting his hands dirty in a direct fight.

I'm not ready yet, I need to know more to act As the social E5 feels much more comfortable in
the field of ideas than in the field of action, this rationalization helps him avoid confrontation with
reality, with the consequent narcissistic wound and the real difficulties and consequences of
intervening in the direct world.

In the end, it's not worth relating

This subtype has as its important defense the

crazy idea that "love does not exist". This conviction is expressed in a forgetfulness of love and
of affection. It is easier for him to abandon the bonds than to fight for them. And to that end, it is
easier if you forget about love, because then you can detach more easily without suffering.
Because expecting something or demanding anything is experienced with great difficulty by the
social E5.

4. Other Characteristic Features and Psychodynamic Considerations

Idealization
Idealization, the main feature of the social E5 can actually be considered an over-idealization,
which occupies a central place in the empty and impoverished world of this miser, giving him a
false sense of fulfillment and self-importance. It occurs both with the people that the Is considers
important and with himself, by identifying himself with his ideal part, the one that leads him to
love «perfect» and transcendent things.

The ideal of the social E5 is "totemized"; he classifies the things that surround him according to
what he considers sacred or unworthy and worthless. Through the demanding lens of his
totemic ideal he judges people, knowledge, and above all himself.

Most representatives of this enneatype have an idealized father figure, in a distant or even
nonexistent relationship. To compensate for this estrangement and lack of pater-no-filial
intimacy, the social E5 transfers his admiration to an "object" or an important person, whom he
values highly. And believes that in order to be loved and admired by that great entity (or people
covered in surplus value) has to be just as great. Being so in need of being accepted by the one
he admires the most, his idealization masks his devalued self-image. Hence, a permanent
conflict is installed between his "real self" and his totemic demand.

Otto Kernberg points out that primitive idealization.

"It complicates the tendency to see external objects as wholly good or bad by artificially and
pathologically increasing their "goodness" or "badness" quality.

Primitive idealization creates unrealistic, powerful, and all-good images; this can be reflected in
the interaction with the diagnostician, by treating him or her as an ideal, omnipotent or godlike
figure, on whom the patient is unrealistically dependent. The interviewer or some other idealized
person may be seen as potential allies against equally powerful (and equally unrealistic) "all
bad" obiects."

Rationalization
It is worth reminding them that the E5 is the most intellectual of the intellectual types. Given his
great difficulty for contact and expression, he thinks and interprets experiences, which leads him
to become a good observer and develop a great capacity of analysis and synthesis, in his
search to deepen the topics that interest him. His passion is aimed at capturing, in each case,
the maximum information. By rationalizing his experiences, he transforms emotions and
sensations into information.

The Social E5 tends to be impersonal, avoid intimacy and relate from the head. Thought
prevails over emotions and action, as he bases his connection to the world on ideas and
theories and always seems to be right. In fact, he speaks with such certainty and uses such
elaborate arguments that, even if he is wrong, it is easy to end up convincing the interlocutor.

This attitude of being right leads to an arrogance that places the type above others, makes them
cold and distant, and distances them from people. Said superiority coexists in his psyche,
paradoxically, with a simultaneous inferiority.

The tendency to rationalize makes their experiences incomplete, because they barely relate the
emotion experienced with the corresponding intellectual content. This disconnection from the
emotional world is closely linked to another of its characteristics: compartmentalization.

Compartmentalization
Typical defense mechanism of the E5, it assumes an important role in the internal dynamics of
the social subtype. Identified as he is with his idealized world, and with the social instinct as the
most affected by his passion, it is in this area where the social E5s exerts the greatest control
over his emotions and feelings.
Thus, compartmentalization is a form of splitting and an excellent defense against the fear of
exposure.
Since she is always hiding something, the compartmentalization serves to separate the different
internal "characters" , who are never in the same room in her house. Each character represents
an emotion, a thought or a desire that are not connected because they live separated by the
thick walls of the many rooms of their inner house.

The compartmentalization defends this character from being aware of what it avoids seeing or
feeling. Sometimes he realizes his feelings but, nevertheless, when the time comes to express
them.

This block is a defense of the ego, which protects itself from why, exposure and expressing
negative emotions, such as pain, anger or frustration. Doing so causes him great discomfort, as
well as linking him to events (which goes against his tendency to isolate) and exposes his image
to the judgment of others and of himself.

Through compartmentalization, the Social E5 loses not only emotional contact with the people
around it, but also the emotion attached to past experiences. His memories are like a black and
white silent movie, in which we see the image but lack the colors and sounds to complete the
scene.

Distancing
Withdrawal is less evident in the E5 social than in the other two subtypes, since it is more
predisposed to social relationships. It is a question here of a distancing more emotional than
physical.

But although this Five has more physical presence and is more sociable, he is still seen as
aloof, reserved and withdrawn.

Many times, he does not seem to care about the presence of the other in his life. If he loses
contact, he acts like he doesn't need him and easily gives up expectation of getting anything out
of a relationship. He does not look for the meeting. His is a pathological detachment that avoids
the need for contact and takes refuge behind a mask of indifference.

On the other hand, cultivate an extreme attachment to self. A Brazilian representative of this
character once said that he was "saving himself for when the carnival arrived," paraphrasing a
song by Chico Buarque.

However, this carnival never came into his life. He also claimed to have "the feeling that
somewhere there is a party to which I am not invited." In fact, it was he himself who avoided
contact, attached to his own comfort.

Lack of action and low energy

The E5 suffers, in general, from a certain difficulty for action. This characteristic is not alien to
the social subtype, which postpones all action not only because of its tendency to accumulate
energy, but also because of the compulsive need to avoid contact and conflicts. His lack of
action can be understood as an expression of resignation, a tendency to run away from the
experience before even having experienced it.

However, among the representatives of E5 social we find some people who are very dedicated
to their work, to which they attribute great meaning and value. They direct all the energy they
save in other areas of their lives at the service of an ideal, in an eagerness to carry out works
that they consider important.

Normally, the social E5 is presented as a person whose realizations take place more slowly, not
only because of their physiology or their fragile and devitalized body (similar to Sheldon's
ectomorph type) but mainly because of the belief that they cannot you have enough energy and
that you should retain and save it. Your greatest difficulty is putting energy into relationships and
people, which makes you feel devitalized and feeds the self-delusion that you don't have
enough to give. This is his greed: little availability for relationships, especially other people's
demands.

Regarding concrete achievements, the criteria and demands that the E5 imposes on his Totem,
with such intellectual and spiritual ambition, end up delaying the realization of projects and
make him never feel sufficiently prepared to put his energy into it. in the world. This miser thus
becomes a simple observer of life and wastes both opportunities and talents.

Concealed atmosphere
The great idealization and self-attachment of the E5 social lead him to a lack of transparency in
personal relationships, with which he tries to protect himself from exposure and rejection. Given
his resistance to being seen -especially in the sphere of intimacy- the representative of this
subtype maintains an ideal image. It always hides something inside, like the guardian of a
treasure or a very valuable secret that must be revealed little by little.

Mysterious and shy, communication is not his forte and he appears to be a silent person with
little humor. Tends to speak in generalities or abstractions and lacks transparency and fluency
in communication.

Many times, he knows what he has that his blockage with words prevents him from expressing
himself directly, saying what he wants to communicate in a drop by drop. It seems to be absent,
with lapses, leaving gaps and unfinished sentences.

The difficulty in showing their true intentions, or even revealing their feelings and desires,
generates a concealment of their truth. Sincerity and transparency are, for him, important virtues
to conquer.

Desensitization
The Social E5 presents a strong polarity between insensitivity and hypersensitivity. On the one
hand, his great detachment from feelings and instinct makes him appear cold and distant, who
does not get emotionally involved. Your center of gravity resides in your intellectual world, which
distances you from your sensitive part and protects you from being vulnerable or dependent. He
is an apathetic who walks around with a mask of indifference and an apparent "I don't care"
speech.

In general, you are insensitive to the needs of others.

On the other side, an exaggerated vulnerability and extreme sensitivity. Behind this insensitive
mask is a needy, ultrasensitive and fragile person.

In private, he is a very vulnerable person, who is easily offended and hurt. Just as the fragile
crab needs its shell to protect itself, the social E5 protects itself from its exaggerated
vulnerability by becoming cold and distant. He prefers to close the windows of his house and
live in the shadows of a home where the sunlight does not enter, but he can, hidden, lead a
dreamlike and fantastic life, a life poor in deeds rich in thoughts.
Ernst Kretschmer says about the insensitivity/hypersensitivity polarity of the social
E5 and its schizoid aspect:

"But the key to schizoid temperaments is offered to anyone who knows how to understand well
that most schizoids are not simply hypersensitive or cold, but at the same time, in highly
variable proportions, moreover From our schizoid material we can extract a whole chain that
begins with what we usually call the Hölderlin type, ultrasensitive, glassy, constantly hurt, all
nerves, and ends with those cold, rigid, almost inanimate ruins of the most serious dementia
praecox, which, indolent as cattle, doze in a corner of the establishment.

Resignation and difficulty saying no

Resignation is part of a childish strategy of "not needing" and giving up their desires. He is a
good boy who does not know how to set limits to the invasion. Compulsively obeys, in a sort of
stoic renunciation before the world. He ends up accepting the other's wish, even if he doesn't
like it or doesn't want it. He appears impassive and hides possible contradictions. He consents
because he does not know how to say no. Even in the face of his great need for intimacy, many
times he does not dare to close the door, because his shyness does not allow him to say to the
other: «Not here».

He knows how to wait. As a child I did not want to cause trouble or cause discomfort. Since she
couldn't get what she needed by force or seduction, she chose the path of resignation.

Perhaps because there weren't enough warm hearts around him, he "understood" that whatever
he did would lead him to lose, so it's better to live resignedly with little.

Your resignation reveals a difficulty with the conflict and protects you from confrontation. As
Karen Horney said, "Find the solution in detachment."

In the social E5, which hides behind a mask of

"nothing happens here", the confrontation is almost never direct. He prefers to keep his
frustration to himself, letting it show more through distance and cold opposition. the one that by
directly communicating a
But this «detachment solution» does not reduce the frustration in the face of unsatisfied needs
and desires that, even though they are not expressed, continue to exist at the bottom of the
social Is. So often he wears a mask of consent but is internally frustrated.

Withdrawal from the battlefield and disinterest in the fight are typical strategies of the Social E5,
which adopts a "non-caring" pose. This way you feel less bothered by internal conflicts,
achieving an apparent inner peace. The absence of conflicts can only be achieved by
renouncing to live actively, which leads the social E5 to a process of vital restriction and
reduction of its growth potential.

Arrogance
Arrogance is one of the main characteristics of the Social E5, which seeks in knowledge the
affirmation of its self-importance. He is someone who always has solid arguments to support his
ideas.

It is difficult for a social Five to give up his own theories, since for him knowledge is a surplus
value. He is a "hard head" attached to his ideas.

He maintains the professorial attitude of the one who is always teaching. He finds it difficult to
put himself in the position of learning that people in general have. As Naranjo says, by looking
for this added value, the E5 social implicitly despises ordinary life and ordinary people.

However, the arrogance of this character is not that of someone who feels very special or
indispensable; but that of someone who feels important because of accumulated knowledge,
rather than because of a feeling of intrinsic value.

His arrogance is a defense, a compensation for his low self-esteem and fragile self-worth.

He's arrogant in the aloof, self-sufficient E5 way, with that defensive nonchalance that makes
him seem cold. Absorbed in his world, he ignores the presence of others and avoids contact, as
if he did not see the people passing by. His schizoid behavior is presented as an attitude of «not
needing» or «not caring» about the presence of the other.

The arrogance is finally visible in their great difficulty in accepting help, having discovered
autonomy and independence so early.

They avoid contact with the need they have for the other, due to their distrust that the expected
support will never arrive or, if it does, it causes an uncomfortable feeling of debt.

Idealization of poverty
The word greed, which suggests a retentive attitude, is associated by many with covetousness.
By cultivating the fantasy that one day he may lack money or energy, the Five tends to hoard
and save both.

The miser lives with little because his mind is not oriented towards abundance.

The E5 social manifests this detached attitude of living with little with a kind of taboo of greed.

He is a miser who does not know how to collect.

He does not feel comfortable assuming his greed in the face of the idealization he makes of
spirituality and the detachment from worldly things that he feeds inside.

The social E5 finds in the idealization of poverty a justification to renounce their desires and
their ambition. Taking on your own desires and fighting for them requires energy that you don't
want to waste.

Deep down, action is very difficult for him and he prefers to find justifications for not committing
himself and convincing himself that he doesn't need anything. He does not know how to ask or
demand, like the oral types, nor does he have the energy to take what he needs. Thus, it is
better to remain silent, feeding an apathetic wait.

It is very important that this subtype recognizes its greed, rescuing the desire to have before
letting go. Desiring and assuming your own desire would be walking in the opposite direction to
the usual renunciation.

His renouncing the world and knowing how to live with little is confused, on the other hand, with
the ideals manifested by certain evolved people, such as the character Siddhartha, by Hermann
Hesse, who always said: «I know how to fast, I know how to think and I know how to wait."

The following passage from the poem by Milarepa, considered a saint in Tibet, and
representative of this subtype, speaks of the renunciation and idealization of poverty:

"I am the man called Milarepa, I have as possession the non-desire. Since I do not struggle to
make money, in the first place, I do not suffer from the work of obtaining it; then, I don't suffer to
save it and, finally, I don't suffer trying to accumulate more. Much better and more happiness
brings not having possessions.

We also find the idealization of poverty and attachment in Farid ad-Din Attar's description of
greed in his epic book The Language of Birds:

Then came the owl, looking astonished, and said:

"I have chosen a house in ruins for housing. I'm weak; I was born in the ruins and I take
pleasure in them; but not to drink wine. I have found hundreds of inhabited sites; but some are
with problems, others with hatred. He who wants to live
'in peace must go, like the drunkard, among the ruins. If I sadly reside among the ruins, it is
because it is there where the treasures are hidden.

In this way, the love of treasures has led me to the ruins since they only exist in the midst of
them. I hide my request there from everyone in the hope of finding a treasure that is not
defended by a talisman. If my foot found a treasure, my yearning heart would be free. I also
believe that the love towards the Simorg is not fabulous, since it is only experienced by fools;
but I am far from standing firm in his love, I only love my ruins and my treasure."

Feeling of internal impoverishment

In the enneagram map, the passion of Greed is found next to Envy and, therefore, the Five
shares with the Four a feeling of little value and internal impoverishment. The type has
permanent contact with the feeling of lack and experience a strong feeling of emptiness.

Behind the totemic mask of E5 social we find a lonely child with a narcissistic wound and a low
sense of worth. The internal impoverishment is based on their depreciated self-image, built from
the feeling of inferiority and a deep identification with a guilty and devalued subpersonality. No
matter the size of the drop; all of this character share the same feeling of not being seen and not
being sufficiently nourished by maternal warmth, with a wound of abandonment hidden behind
their mask of indifference.

This dynamic is repeated internally. The social

Five lacks self-love. He does not see his needs clearly and does not sufficiently satisfy his
emotional and instinctive thirst. The Totem reinforces the feeling of inadequacy since, compared
to its ideal, it is devalued and diminished all the time. Little life grows in the shadow of the
Totem, which makes its internal soil sterile and infertile. The social E5 feels this impoverishment
both in his internal world and in his affective ties.

Stinginess
To name the miser's fixation, Naranjo understood that it was redundant to speak of stinginess,
since both terms point to the same retentive and ungenerous attitude. The social E5 is stingy
with the other and with himself. The neurotic strategy of minimizing need is strong in this
character. He never realizes what he needs or, looking at it from another angle, he has learned
not to need. His awareness of need has diminished to such an end, he no longer knows what he
wants or desires. He's learned to give up on his desires with a knack for postponing satisfaction.
He is capable of enduring great privations without giving importance to his negligence. He gives
himself his own fatigue, forgetting to fuel his body, either with food or rest.

He presents, on the other hand, great difficulties to be empathetic. He does not understand the
importance that others give to certain needs that he considers dispensable. The first question,
faced with the need of the other, is: «What is this for?».

"If I deprive myself of this, couldn't you too?"

We can ask ourselves if the social E5 is ungenerous because it has an arid emotional world or
if, conversely, it becomes increasingly arid due to its lack of dedication and generosity. But one
thing is clear: the first person he is stingy with is himself. Internally he lives in a place so narrow
that he barely fits himself. Consequently, in his internal world there is no place for the other.
Even the feeling of friendship is lived more in the realm of the ideal than in practice. Although of
all the misers, the Social One cultivates friendships the most, his window for relationships
remains narrow. And even if they have a wide circle, they are pseudo-relationships, contacts
with little commitment and almost zero intimacy.

Autistic traits
The social, even being the most communicative of the Five subtypes, has a strong tendency to
introspection. We can say that he lives like a ghost, without being seen. His presence is often
imperceptible in the environment, in the same way that he is abstracted in the presence of
others.

Refugee in his internal world, he lives in his abstract mind. It withdraws so strongly that it can
live deep dramas and anguish without anyone knowing it. This is the autistic trait of this schizoid
character, who does not establish contact and has not learned to communicate. He lives an
intense attachment to his internal world together with a kind of intolerance to the experience that
would come through contact. Hence his tendency to become solitary and hermetic.

The characteristic of unsociability or "autism" of the schizoid can be understood as much by his
hypersensitivity as by his insensitivity towards others. Of a very sensitive nature, he defends
himself to the maximum from external stimuli, closing doors and windows to live an imaginary
and dreamlike existence, poor in experience and facts, but very rich in thoughts and
imagination.

In extreme cases, psychiatry gives us the description of autism and catatonia. In autism, the
person isolates himself to the point of ceasing to recognize the other. Catatonia, which is a form
of schizophrenia, involves a total loss of action and movement, a paralysis added to the feeling
of not wanting to belong to the world. It is evident that these are amplifications and extremes of
characteristics that are found in a more subtle way in the It is social, but his strategy of
detachment and disinterest in the world leads him to become increasingly attached to himself.

5. Emotionality and Fantasy

Emotionality is not very present in the greed subtypes, the most intellectual among the
intellectuals. The miser finds it difficult to feel and, above all, to express what he feels. He lives
an emotional world that is arid and without many color variations, like a lunar landscape.

His disconnection with feelings makes him distant, cold and impersonal. As the E5 social is
closely connected to the world of ideas, it submits its expression to the filter of reason and
barely reveals its emotions. He seems to exercise constant, though not conscious, control over
the intensity of what he expresses.
It is common for them to repress the expression of negative feelings such as anger and
contempt. It controls them and they express themselves more through evasive behaviors, such
as detachment and coldness, than with direct words. In the face of frustration, he becomes
passive-aggressive.
Suppressed anger can manifest as impatience and, rarely, explosive behavior, as your
tendency to keep this emotion to yourself makes you a bomb that can go off when you least
expect it.

By holding back, the expression of negative emotions, you are actually defending yourself from
confrontation and from that exposure to which you so afraid. For the social E5, being
transparent is a difficult task, especially when you need to confront or upset someone. Saying
clearly what you don't like and frustrating the other's expectations would be an important
transformation step for this character, who has a habit of hiding.

Many times, he prefers to remain silent rather than show his face. In fact, omission is a feature
that is very present in it.

He also finds it difficult to feel or express gratitude. He doesn't like feeling indebted and acts like
he doesn't need anyone's help. Since it is so difficult for him to ask, he prefers not to expect
anything from the other. In fact, you do not want to generate that later you will have to repay
what you owe because you think you are receiving.

And he's not that aware of his fears either. With his tendency to hide, he ends up not coming
into contact with them. He does not feel as much fear as an E6 simply because he avoids the
situations that would provoke it, giving up his desires and action. Their biggest fears are
negative exposure and invasion of privacy. As the evasive type that he is, he lives more in
fantasy than in reality. That is why you can say: "Oh, I dare not talk to that person", projecting in
your imagination a situation that would cause you fear, long before you feel it in your body.

In the Social E5, desire is contained, under control. He would like to have more vital
experiences but he does not dare to experiment and he gives up. He lives as a spectator of life,
rather than as a protagonist.

We find in this character a negativist tendency, like a "death drive." Cultivate a melancholic state
to apathy, with little energy and vitality. There is a certain depression in which his lack of interest
in the world tends, in the renunciation of desires and in the loss of vitality. The sadness she
knows, however, is more dry than wet, as if sunny days were rare and cloudy ones prevailed
with scattered rains. Then the sun will end up appearing through the clouds, showing that joy
exists, but is a rare occurrence. It is like the cactus in the desert, where beautiful and fragrant
flowers bloom but only once a year. The same thing happens to E5 social, which for rare
moments lets its emotion overflow and shows the beauty of its feelings, such as love and joy.

Fantasy in lifestyle and interpersonal relations

The E5 social tends to live in a very realistic criteria which leads him to devalue his experience.

On the other hand, his fantasy levels are exponentially high due to idealized experiences with
an extraordinary meaning. It plays the role of mobilizing its energy for the search for that "sacred
object" goal of so much ambition. It needs to idealize to admire and your fantasy and cover up
the imperfection of the world. He also tends to fantasize about himself since, without idealizing
himself, he would fall into the void.

"After experiencing a painful separation in my first marriage, very difficult due to the distance
from my young son, still very attached to his mother; I began to land. From an escapist and
individualistic spiritual journey mixed with nihilistic feelings, I was embodying my senses in the
world.

During this same period, I began my second and current marriage, in which I tried to overcome
the deep distrust that I felt, generated by the lack of love that I had experienced with my mother.

Little by little I began to open up to loving feelings, without fear of suffering. It was a time of
uncovering, unmasking and transparency of what he felt. Putting my feelings out there and
talking about them began to give me a distinct sense of power; which was reinforced by getting
out of my head and embodying my feelings bodily.

Today I clearly understand that it was from that moment on that I abandoned many of my
spiritual fantasies, such as reaching enlightenment and being a hermit. I understood that, often,
the spiritual search becomes an escape route for an enneatype 5, especially when other
aspects of your interpersonal world are not integrated. At least for me it was like this:

I needed to get out of the spiritual clouds in which I lived and have the courage to risk being
human." - Sergio V.

This character can internally imagine and create the scenarios and dialogues of what they have
not experienced. Because you avoid experiences rather than live them concretely, you tend to
live an imaginary and abstract reality in your mind.

It is common for people who are social to believe in threat scenarios in their environment,
developing a negativist tendency that, added to a paranoid component, leads them to anticipate
catastrophic fantasies about the future.

He has a great desire for contact but he does not experience it as he would like. His thirst for
affection and pleasure leads him to fantasize about that intimacy that he would like to
experience. He dreams that he could give a lot of love and pleasure to whoever he wants, but in
reality, he often lacks generosity even with the people he loves the most.
Probably the biggest fantasy that pervades his interpersonal style is the crazy idea that he
would not be loved or accepted in his humanity. It is to protect yourself from rejection that
maintains detachment and indifference in relationships.

6. Childhood

To describe the childhood of people who recognize themselves in the E5 social, I offer you my
(Sergio Veleda) autobiography, as a representative of this character. Elements common to
biographies of this subtype stand out in it and living experience will allow us not only to
understand, but also to empathize with the lives of children who will assume this character.

It is common, from the outset, the presence of an invading and controlling mother, who
sometimes appears authoritarian, as in the following pages. On other occasions, their control is
exercised from the position of someone who feels superior or with unquestionable motives and
guidelines for the good «education of the child».

Many times, it is an emotionally unstable woman.

This intense emotionality and invasiveness cause the child to withdraw into his inner armor, in a
constant state of alarm and persecution.

In most cases there are parents who are emotionally absent, perhaps very involved in social life.
The child lives with an unattainable father, sometimes looking at him as an important gentleman
with whom wants to identify but difficult to overcome. This importance is not necessarily
associated with a great «hero».

Sometimes this socially relevant parent is also a dark person, morally unacceptable, which
pushes the child to want to occupy a place of "purity and moral elevation.

In any case, status is important to the family of a social E5, and the child is seen in the
"contradiction" between withdrawing to defend himself against being invaded and exposing
himself on a social level to satisfy the family mandate. The future social Five child receives
projections of grandeur that clash with his need for isolation.

The way out he finds is to occupy a place in the world where he can idealize recognition for his
intellect and knowledge, aspiring to teach the world something extraordinary, without getting
involved in relationships.

Autobiography
I was the first child in a family with five siblings, an E4 sexual mother and an E8 social father.
During early childhood I grew up being admired, praised and loved, but I always received a lot
of interference and family pressure. At puberty I began to be severely demanded.
Everyone expected me to be a good example of behavior and conduct for my siblings. He
should always be a good boy, socially acceptable and, above all, intelligent. For my father, a
political activist and free thinker, intelligence was a supreme value.
My family environment was always charged with strong anxiety. On the one hand, there was my
mother's compulsive, nosy, authoritarian, and demanding behavior. She was a martyr who
made an effort to take care of her children and she did it with complaints and inculcation. I was
unexpectedly punished for unimportant things, leaving me without understanding the reason for
the punishments.ng himself on a social level to satisfy the family mandate. The future social
Five child receives projections of grandeur that clash with his need for isolation.

The way out he finds is to occupy a place in the world where he can idealize recognition for his
intellect and knowledge, aspiring to teach the world something extraordinary, without getting
involved in relationships.
My mother always displayed traits of bipolarity, with obvious borderline personality disorder.
From my father I received idealistic demands; He expected intelligence and intellectual capacity
from me. That way, he said, I could become socially important in the country town where I lived,
and perhaps be a leader, like him, in the future.

I remember, when I was very little, spelling the big billboards that dotted the streets, sitting in the
barbershop with my father and other men and reading and commenting on the news in the
press.

I felt important to them. My image was that of a child with intelligence beyond his years and an
early curiosity for letters and information. I liked to know things.

Later I understood that this assessment of my father and the men in the barbershop shaped my
vanity and my need to matter for what I think and know. This vain wanting to be is both a
defense against being in the world and a resource to compensate for the fear of not knowing.

Knowledge became more important than having money, clothing, objects, or social position;
these things became secondary.

My mother, hysterical and agitated, invaded me non-stop, controlling me through numerous

attacks, disrespect and a series of orders one after another. I felt suffocated by that river of
despair that poured over me. I was strongly intoxicated by his psychic charge, by all those
shouts and sudden gestures of my childhood and adolescence. I felt like the fruit of a tormented
womb. I think that already in the womb I developed an intense fear of being raped and
destroyed. I became shy and elusive, evasive; reactions to a very primitive fear born in that cold
and hostile womb where I was conceived.

In the houses where I lived with my family of origin, I never had my own room. My problems with
the lack of privacy were getting worse and marking my character. The invasion of my mother
and my four brothers accentuated my need for seclusion.

In the first house that I lived in, my four brothers and I slept in the same room. Nothing in that
space was mine, yet everything was.
It belonged to everyone and nobody. In addition, my invading mother entered, ordering. He went
and changed everything when he wanted and how he wanted, without taking into account our
childish or even adolescent desires.

From an early age I became attached to objects and thoughts. I developed a fertile imagination
(in which I collected myself) to conserve, retain and control my little universe. It was a small
world that I needed to protect, because through it I could detach myself from everything that
surrounded me.

It was an escape and survival strategy in the face of the violence and invasion that I suffered.

In the second house where we live, I began to sleep in a room with the other two sons of the
family. We were three brothers and two sisters. In the boys' bedroom, the door must always be
open.

To enter, no one knocked on the door or asked for permission, much less my mother. I felt not
only invaded but very offended and exposed. He had no right to privacy in that environment of
physical and moral violence.

My father was an affectionate but sanguine man, vehement and wasteful. He was the leader of
the railway workers of the region where we lived.

He fought for social causes and helped the poorest, even taking what we had at home to give it
to needy people on the street. He was a conflicted, intrepid and confident politician. Along with
his friends, he was persecuted during the dictatorship.

He had a spontaneous and natural vision of justice.

He drank and gambled in clandestine gambling houses, putting in money from home. I
remember that one morning I woke up with my mother crying, while my younger brothers slept.
My mother, victim and dramatic, would break down in tears because my father did not come
home and was going to spend the money. That night he took my hand and we both went out
into the empty darkness in search of my father, that Dionysian man whom I loved and feared.

Unlike the fear that my mother gave me with her direct and blatant violence, with my father I felt
the charge of implicit and indirect violence, always present in his intense temperament. He
never hit me, but his eyes were as strong as lightning; they controlled me. They were big and
always looked bloodshot. Afraid of his authority, I was afraid of his eyes, two fiery spears
piercing mine. For a long time I couldn't look people straight in the eye. My father emasculated
my vision with the force of his magnetism, making me shy and introspective.

Unlike my mother, my father had a noble soul.

He was a great idealist, with a humanitarian heart.
He was a mahatma; 'great soul', in Sanskrit. The one who punished me a lot was my mother,
who oppressed me. Sometimes he would lecture me aggressively, but many other times he
would get out of control and start hitting me. I remember very painful moments when I would get
under the shower and hit myself hard while the water ran over my skin. I had marks all over my
body and I was very ashamed.

These two very strong people, my father and my mother, had authoritarian and patriarchal
profiles and I felt very crushed. When I was ten years old I decided to retire, I began to walk in
silence, without making noise, and I found a refuge within myself.

Life inside the house, together with my four siblings, without any personal space and suffering
continuous maternal violence, was quite an invasion experience. In the presence of my mother,
I felt cornered and without space. It wasn't just a lack of physical space; the psychological was
also invaded with disrespect.

There was no freedom at all. When I kept quiet because I didn't know what to say and she
insisted on knowing something about me, she would accuse me; he said I was hiding
something, "as liars do.'

The claustrophobic oppression I felt with my mother would later lead me to develop a rebellion
against her authority and all the other authorities I have encountered in my life.

I confronted the authorities head-on, but I always dismantled them with my judgments. The
tendency was to put myself on the sidelines, especially in situations in which others venerated
something or someone.

I became very critical, invalidating everything around me. Over the years I built a nihilistic vision,
not believing in people, denying the value of things, believing that nothing really matters in this
life. So, I started looking for something that was beyond the nonsense of it all. This led me to a
taste for reading, which took me away, to another world. It was like an exile, an escape from
everything around me.

I recognize my history as that of a social E5 but Thave never fully and directly valued my
"totems".

I have always searched for what was above, beyond them, thus creating a continuous dynamic
of "totemization and distotemization". I have always searched for what would be beyond what I
myself once idealized. I understand that it was a way I found to deconstruct the idealized world
of my father and the rigid world of my mother. In order to survive in this context, my childhood
and youth outlet was to value only the world that is beyond this world. He could even be in that
world, but he needed to be invisible to the eye. I have always been interested in what is not
seen, what is not evident. I myself became that: someone hidden, with the desire to be
indecipherable.
As I grew younger, and later an adult, the rebellion against authority, limitations, and orders
became more and more evident. As a child I withdrew into shyness and fear, but from
adolescence I developed the determined detachment that nothing in life was worth it, especially
people. Very soon I started not being attached to my family. As teenagers do, when I laid down
to sleep, I imagined the day of the death of each of my relatives. Doing that, I thought, I could
get rid of all of them, I wouldn't be afraid of loss or regrets for having been so far away from all
of them.

I became very cold and rational, believing that nothing else interested me, that nothing else
mattered to me. I felt an intense coldness inside me every time the idea of letting go of
everything, especially people, invaded me. The only thing that interested me and gave me
pleasure was reading and studying to understand what the meaning of life beyond the suffering
and restrictions is.

In that southern Brazilian town of my childhood and adolescence, I was the only person who
spent the afternoons in the public library, always empty and abandoned. I would take refuge
there to read and then take some books home with me. It was shocking for me to read Homer
as a child, who revealed to me that my life was like the journey of Ulysses. I was also looking for
a destination far from where I lived, an exile. I longed for a journey to God, to Truth, to Beauty. I
didn't feel like I belonged to my family or my city, where I was seen as an outsider.

Over the years I began to understand that the determination not to be the same as others and
not to be part of it were paradoxical but effective ways of inserting myself into society. It was the
way I found to belong and participate in the world, without being discovered and invaded. I
never liked belonging to groups, doctrines, parties... although I participated in many different
ones, I was never really there. I was always leaving.

Socially I began to stand out precisely for not being accessible and being closer to the margin
than to the center of the world that surrounded me.

For me, material issues were irrelevant, because power is given to you by your level of
knowledge and the capacity for autonomy that derives from it.

In my youth I practiced "cultural delinquency"; from time to time, he stole books from
bookstores.
The justification was to read them and then pass them on to friends who were financially
constrained to buy them.

Reading a lot, hours and hours, was part of my isolation strategy. Today I understand that it was
my mother's hysterical invasion that generated in me the defense of isolation in even sinister
places.
I needed to isolate myself so as not to feel the anxious tension of my mother. Locking myself up
was the only way to find a place where I could be at peace, away from a hectic and anxious
world.

As a child, I would climb a tall tree and stay there for hours. My mother was quick to call out to
me, so I was always alert and anxious. I knew that as soon as I came down from the tree, he
would attack me verbally or physically. I went upstairs to have a few moments of peace. As
soon as I went back into the house my mother would accuse me of being lazy. I heard it so
much that I started to believe it. And, as he grew older, the need for isolation became stronger
and stronger.

The search for places to isolate myself became more and more sophisticated. Near my house
there was a long, deep ravine through which an abandoned train line passed. On the slopes of
the ravine there were crevices where a person could fit. I really liked to stay there quietly,
sometimes in an almost autistic way, without moving. I felt an indescribable pleasure in being
still and isolated.

Everything was at peace within me for a few moments, of immobility.

As a young man, I began to enjoy walks along the banks of the river, where I retired to read
Balzac, Beethoven's biography, which fascinated me...Then came the woods that surrounded
the city, where I spent whole afternoons. The strangest of my fixations for isolated places were
cemeteries. There I could retire to read and admire the silence; seldom did anyone come to
bother me while I was enjoying romantics like William Blake or Walt Whitman.

We were five brothers intoxicated by our mother's madness. The refuge of imagination and self-
exile in thought were the means I had to go far away and free myself from that insane domestic
captivity. I distanced myself so as not to be part of the place where I lived. I felt different from
the others and I believed that 1lived for something more. I thought that I was at the service of
knowledge and I searched intensely for an increasingly rare knowledge. She longed to read and
meet the authors that she did not read, especially those that were considered more dangerous
or incomprehensible. I wanted to listen to a type of music or read books that were not part of
common sense. The impulse was not to be in that world, to have the autonomy to think for
myself and not what others had already thought.

When I left home, in my twenties, I began to live in a marginal world, in many ways. I hung out
with artists, with whom I shared an appreciation for art, but also with homeless people, drug
addicts, bandits, prostitutes, gays, and transvestites. He was very shy and it seemed
paradoxical to be in the midst of violence and danger. Today I understand, as it is social, that I
lived that period of my life connected with the energy of an Eight. The underground universe
activated my imagination and with them I felt strong. It was a world of brave and daring people.

Later, when I learned about the Enneagram, I realized that I had always lived very well with the
E8.
My link with life was poetry. I wrote a lot and compulsively. The tension of my internal world,
closed and full of crazy ideas, found in feverish writing a form of liberation and pleasure. I
experienced a kind of nervous frenzy, inside a current of lively and sensitive words.

That time of living on the margins was very creative; It is when I wrote the most poetry. It was a
kind of prophetic ministry. I recited my texts publicly but always returned immediately to my
distant and isolated world, dedicated to a mystical life. I positioned myself as an urban prophet
and thus I inserted myself socially in the world.

Perhaps being so shy would wrap me in a halo of mystery that, because it was inaccessible,
would give me protection and security. I learned to be in the world without being of the world, as
the Sufis say. I wanted lido again. Being noticed directly was too much for them to see me, to
make me notice, but only from afar, so as not to be intimidating. The indirect path was possible
for me and I inserted myself into the world without being in groups, without forming ties, without
following anyone, without depending on anyone, always solitary and autonomous.

7. Person and Shadow: Destructive for Oneself and for Others

The more the social E5 works on itself, reducing the conditioning of its personality, the more
sensitive and loving it will be, integrating its spiritual vocation into concrete reality. His
development goes through a greater feeling of being incarnated, at the controls of his life and
integrated with his instinctive force.

In the other polarity we find, in the projection of its shadow, the sickest part of this personality:
petty, cold, indifferent people, disconnected from the other and from themselves. His deep lack
of confidence in the links leads him to abandon any initiative too easily. This excessive
renunciation of love and people is compensated by an excessive attachment to himself.

His phobia of confrontation and difficulty expressing emotions ruins intimacy. He responds to his
frustration in relationships with the cold anger of a silence that cuts like a sharp knife, in his
passive-aggressive strategy.

In the other polarity, his strong containment of rage can lead him to explode. The containment of
pain for a long time can be expressed in an unpredictably vengeful or violent way. At one
extreme of illness, the social E5 is a psychopath in power, for living a psychic reality completely
disconnected from the other.

Regarding the fear of being invaded and the extreme lack of trust in the links, they can
degenerate into paranoid cadres with persecutory ideas.
The E5 social seems to be more related to a death instinct than to the creative and vital
impulse. He assumes too soon the behavior of someone who has already lived through it.
Being a negative and pessimistic character with a tendency to depression, he often feels inside
as if he had nothing, in misery and inferiority. His low self-esteem makes him feel diminished
when compared, which increases his feeling of not belonging. The great disconnection of his
feelings leaves him isolated in his mental world, where he tends to create negative theories that
lead him to states of anguish and hopelessness.

Being stingy with itself added to the minimization of its needs, leads it to endure very
uncomfortable situations for a long time without resorting to any kind of help.
The Totem makes it difficult for him to show his failures and defects, in parallel to a constant
devaluation of his personal image, which acts as a barrier to self-acceptance, while the fear of
exposure and criticism grips him.

"Type 5 people, like me, fear emptiness, abandonment, pain and conflict, and take refuge in
mental aridity and disconnection from their affections. We remain in an "as if" we were inside,
but we are totally outside. We avoid life and people and end up wrapped in a false spirituality,
hiding in the caves of the mind." - Sergio V.
With his arrogance he hurts, and his difficulty the needs of others makes it difficult when he
assumes an attitude of certainty, positioning himself as the owner of the truth.

All these characteristics can be seen as a reflection of the little love that one has and the lack of
compassion for others. In his stinginess, he offers very little and this failure to give constantly
frustrates the loving expectation of the other.

How do people who live with an E5 social feel?

Living with the neurosis of the social Five can cause problems and suffering, since it is an
arrogant, unavailable, closed-cold character. Below we collect some testimonials from people
who live with this enneatype.

Report from a friend about an E5 social

I have known him for about twenty years and almost always our meetings are due to my visits to
consult him about my health. Arriving at your workplace is like entering a time tunnel. It is an
extremely simple and austere place, with furniture that makes you feel that you are in front of an
antiques dealer. This austerity is compensated with its enigmatic presence.

His medical examination is rarely physical, there is very little or almost no bodily contact, but
instead focuses on an extensive interrogation.

Their questions are not limited to my ailments or they encompass the energetic dimension:
«How are you in the mood?», «At what times of the day do you feel less energy?», «What is the
purpose of your life now?», «How are you facing your tasks to carry out the next days?".
Questions that are like throwing a stone in the middle of a calm lake, which generates
concentric waves that have an effect after the appointment, because the question remains
echoing in my mind.
After a few minutes of absence, he returns with his "magic potion", and with very few words
indicates how it should be consumed. Obviously without any explanation of what he thinks I
have, much less what medicine he is prescribing me.

Sometimes the curiosity has arisen to ask him:

«What are you giving me?»>. His inscrutable face, however, makes me stop asking him, as if I
sensed that it would be a great request for something more than what he has already given me.
And since the result of his medicine is usually very favorable in my recovery of health, I have
settled for not asking more than what seems necessary for him.

Report of a person in an intimate relationship with an E5 social.

To live with a social E5 is to feel a polar storm firsthand. It is experiencing his revenge -justified
or not- in the cruelest way: suffering his silence and indifference. He justifies himself by saying
that he does nothing and that he is incapable of hurting a fly. That is his punishment strategy
and he only stops lacerating until he reaches the limit of my pain.

Report of a wife with five vears of cohabitation with an E5 social

There is a very specific line that traces its security space, and any attempt to cross that limit is
reiected with austerity. The feeling is often of being alone in the relationship, since silence, the
inability to share and the ability to be absent even when it is present, they are constant. I know
that behind this cold armor there is a heart eager to share love, and it is possible to touch it, on
very rare occasions: But what prevails is indifference; I don't feel seen and, in many moments, I
live looking for his love without being able to find it.
Report from a wife with ten vears of cohabitation with an E5 social.

After ten years of living together as a couple, I have learned to abandon the "romantic ideal" of a
relationship (or to remind myself in this relationship that does not exist.)

There are no "surprises" in this relationship. I have to prepare gestures, gifts or hugs; therefore,
leaving no spontaneous or emotional approaches.

It is all quite simple and straightforward. He prefers to ask what I want rather than try to surprise
and get frustrated for being wrong.

I have to avoid social events, even if they are only with people, he is very close to, such as
family or the few friends he has.

Being in a group, without a specific role to play, requires a great expenditure of energy; It's
almost something you have to put up with. (Unlike in the professional environment, where he
acts with great ingenuity.)
Being with ordinary people who talk about unimportant things of daily life. while there are so
many interesting topics, such as astronomy, music, ideals.., about which most do not usually
talk, it is tedious and tiresome, so I avoid social situations whenever possible.

On a day-to-day basis, he is oblivious to domestic organization and general cleanliness.

And it's not out of carelessness or contempt, he just doesn't see it. It is as if all the time you are
looking at something important that is beyond.

You can pass dozens of times over things or obiects in the middle of the road without realizing
it. From the outside it seems that he lives in a chaotic world because of the disorder that exists
everywhere).

8. Love

In his book The Enneagram of Society, Claudio Naranjo describes the love experienced by E5
social as a lack of love, a risky adventure that requires a lot of effort and energy and that can
lead to "bad business". It also refers to the lack of expression and the difficulty of showing your
affection or interest in the other.

This character stands out from relationships, from life and even from the experience that takes
place at every moment. He is apathetic and indifferent to love needs; rather, he avoids bonds
and intimacy through distancing and abandonment of relationships. He escapes from intimate
ties and emotional obligations because he wants to remain completely free, without limits,
without impediments, in possession of the totality of himself.

It is terrifying for him to ask for and express his needs, he is terrified of losing what little he has,
and he is always threatened with being invaded and losing his independence.

"For a long time, I experienced my estrangement from the community as a kind of force of its
own. It was a brutal capacity for coldness and insensitivity that sought to detach itself so as not
to suffer. This background feeling of the E5, especially in the social subtype, involves the use of
the thinking and sophisticated mind to justify your fears in a sterile and perverse logic, which
can often come close to psychopathy." Sergio V.

There is a consensus among the representatives of the subtype that the admiring is the most
developed type of love. We have concluded that the social E5 is oriented towards great ideals
and yearns to find something extraordinary that it does not find in bonds or relationships. He
ends up looking for this ideal in knowledge, religion, science or work:

"The most important thing was work and my spiritual path. The intimate relationship was in the
background, and I only allowed it when I also understood it as a stage of the spiritual path.
I realized that loving the human being is difficult for me, because I don't love the human in me.
Actually, I feel lost in terms of feelings and intimacy. I don't know how to ask, let alone demand
something. I don't like being demanded either. The truth is that it is very difficult for me to live
relationships in depth.

Thus, a social E5 can idealize love and the relationship, but easily becomes frustrated and
immediately gives up and forgets about love.

He is so longing to live it that when he receives something, he wants to give himself completely.
The initial distancing can turn into a great desire for exclusivity with your partner. So, this fear of
eating and being eaten is, in a way, realistic:

When I learned to give myself up, a deep need for affection from the other opened up, which
became an attachment and a desire for more and more.

For a long time, I experienced my estrangement from the community as a kind of force of its
own. It was a brutal capacity for coldness and insensitivity that sought to detach itself so as not
to suffer: This background feeling of the E5, especially in the social subtype, involves the use of
the thinking and sophisticated mind to justify your fears in a sterile and perverse logic, which
can often come close to psychopathy.

Yet I start to wait and wait, and I end up getting frustrated. So, I give up.

It's incredible that, from one moment to the next, I could go from deep love and desire to
coldness and disconnection, almost as if love no longer existed. I forget very easily.

The great capacity I have for detachment scares me, as if I could forget everything I have
received or experienced. From one moment to another: I just need to close a door and enter
another room in my inner house. I don't do it on purpose, I automatically see myself there,
distant and alone, with nothing else, without things, without people, without color; without flavor,
just in an empty space.

I had never believed or trusted in love. I experienced it as seduction, as a game, the conquest
and subsequent abandonment of the woman, in a clear response of revenge to my mother. I
lived the passion and then coldly distanced myself.

Only in my second marriage did I have a restorative experience of love. The cold night of the
vast desert inside my heart was filling with fire and heat, and little by little I was melting. This
love arose feverish and somewhat hallucinated, similar to the one he had felt for God, for art, for
music, for knowledge. The difference was that now he lived an incarnated love and not a distant
and impersonal love. And I no longer avoid fear, pain or pleasure."

The social E5 is represented with the figure of a Totem, which indicates the height and
superiority of an object beyond the human being. The height of the Totem evokes the tendency
of this character to look upwards, to the ideal. His desire to search beyond, in the stars, for what
he cannot find in the world below. It is easier for him to love God than people. Looking up is the
way he manifests his admiring love. He has a hard time attending to earthly affairs; the stardust
clouds his vision and prevents him from seeing the ground he is walking on.

Albert Einstein is a good example of a Totem.

Leopold Infeld, a colleague who worked alongside him, describes it this way:

"His heart never bleeds, and he marches through life with gentle delight and emotional
indifference. For Einstein, life is an interesting spectacle that he contemplates with only discreet
interest, never being torn apart by the emotions of love or hate. He is an objective spectator of
human madness, and feelings do not harm his judgments.

His interest is intellectual and when he takes sides (and he does!) he can be trusted more than
anyone, because the "I" is not involved in his decision. The great intensity of Einstein's thought
is projected outwards, towards the world of phenomena."

The maternal or compassionate capacity is, in general, the least developed type of love in the
social E5, a character that can be cold and distant, with little empathy and with a low capacity to
understand the needs of others, which he perceives as ties:

"I thought I knew how to care, but my way of caring is not so warm. Accepting the other is
difficult because I lack the inner mother. I know how to listen with my ears, but I lack to listen
with my heart.

It is difficult for me to be empathetic with some needs that I always see as unnecessary. Thus, I
always tell my son that enough is enough, that he already has a lot. You don't need this or that.

Everything seems dead to me. And in this same way I treat my inner child."

There is no generous attitude to share with others. In general, the lack of the mother is one of
the roots of the psychological problem of the social E5. That maternal love that he lacked, that
look with warmth and compassion, is difficult for him to offer. Generosity, as well as real
detachment, are virtues to be developed by the social E5:

I think of others, but I lack the action of giving.

It is difficult for me to go to the other and offer myself available.

Although I easily forget people, I love them very much. But when I have to give myself, I find a
great challenge. I can give and be generous, but it comes out very little by little.

I feel that my patients see me as intelligent, perhaps wise, but never as a mother.
Since we are talking about a super-idealized guy, his lack of love can be overshadowed by the
shadow of his Totem or by his need to be a good child, in order to avoid conflicts. In this regard,
he reports a social E5:
The good child says "yes" a lot, but deep down he is my Totem that does not allow me to say
that
"no" that many times I would like to say.

There is a feeling of impoverishment in the social E5, which also affects his ability to love
himself, disconnected as he is from his organism.

Pleasure, in all its forms, is experienced little: it could be a source of emotional disturbance and
a danger that leads to loss of control. What is perceived is a control of gluttony and lust,
experiencing pleasure in homeopathic doses and selective.

The sensation of «reaching the limits» is common in this character; a moment in which he
represses the pleasure and feels a certain guilt for the «excesses» committed.

When I had chocolate, I ate a little and always saved most of it for later. My brother; with a
sweet tooth, gobbled up his at once. It didn't take long for him to discover where I had hidden
what I had left. And he ate mine too.

On the contrary, there is a tendency to withhold and devalue pleasure and gluttony through a
sublimated vision of renunciation, with contempt for their needs.
I can work for hours without realizing I'm hungry.

I like pleasure and I can live it intensely, but I realize that it doesn't last long. As if he was
leaving something for later:

Regarding self-love, a social E5 person says:

I had to learn to take care of myself. To feed myself better and give me permission to rest and
enjoy. Learn to listen to my body, which says more than my words. Learn to desire and ask for
what I need. Learn to defend myself from what I don't want and to recognize my limits. And, the
most difficult thing, to accept and love me with all my shadow and humanity.

9. Historical Figures: Leonardo da Vinci and a Tribute to Claudio Naranio

Leonardo da Vinci
Leonardo da Vinci was a unique man, active in many areas of knowledge, and considered by
many to be "the greatest genius the world has ever seen." A genius that lay not only in the
magnitude of his ideas and talents, but also in the breadth of interests to which he devoted
countless hours of meticulous study.
Throughout his career, Leonardo filled hundreds of volumes with notes, studies and research on
different areas of knowledge, such as mathematics, engineering, astronomy, geometry, botany,
geology, music, sculpture, drawing or architecture, and developed veritable treatises, albeit
incomplete, on painting, anatomy, optics and light, flight, water and mechanics. But it was in the
Arts, more specifically in drawing and painting, where Leonardo showed incomparable technical
quality and expressiveness.
Despite his enormous intellectual and artistic production, he left very few notes about himself
and his privacy is a mystery.

It may seem unthinkable but, about to die, Da Vinci fell overwhelmed for having offended God
by not having dedicated more time to him. He showed his regret for having lost himself in so
many interests, with which his work had lost its depth: "I have offended God when my work did
not reach the quality it should have". In this phrase we recognize the great perfection and self-
blame of the social E5.

Leonardo was a man of great magnetism.

According to Vasari, a contemporary of the artist who wrote important details of his biography,
Leonardo's temperament was so charming that he was affected by everyone. Pleasant in
conversation, he was usually kind and friendly.

When he spoke he seemed to have a deep understanding of what he was saying and charmed
everyone with his intelligence.

Some of Leonardo's wisdom appears in a set of fables he wrote, where a predominant theme is
the misconception that exaggerated self-esteem and humility bring benefits. As It is social, we
note Leonardo's strong tendency to question himself, the result of a constant demand, always
having a great ideal as a reference. However, while he was demanding of himself, when he
compared himself to others he could feel superior because of his knowledge. He said that
"many times, when I see that some men take a book, I fear that, as a monkey, they will stick
their finger up their nose, or ask if it's something to eat."

Leonardo was born in 1452 in the town of Anchiano, near Vinci, the illegitimate son of a
Florentine merchant, Piero da Vinci, and a peasant woman, Caterina. Because she belonged to
another social class, her mother was not included in the family, nor was she welcomed into her
father's house. Nothing is known about Caterina's relationship with her son. Some scholars of
Leonardo's life support the idea that she nursed him for the first year of his life, as was
customary at the time, and that they may have been together for part of their early childhood.
Other authors affirm that Leonardo was deprived of Caterina's care after his birth and could not
be baptized, which was attended by her. They say that already in his few people, his mother
was not there.
A childhood memory of Leonardo da Vinci, by Sigmund Freud, highlights how his mother's
absence limited the life of the great Renaissance artist. Leonardo was a sad boy. Throughout
his life, he makes references to the figure of his mother, giving the sensation of a fragile bond.

There are also few affective references to his father, giving us the feeling that it was not an
important link.
On Leonardo's sexual orientation there is no consensus among scholars. Analyzing Freud's
studies on the roots of Leonardo's possible homosexuality, we might think that the artist would
have spent the first years of his life living alone with his single mother. This is how Freud
explained his theory:

Leonardo was born in 1452 in the town of Anchiano, near Vinci, the illegitimate son of a
Florentine merchant, Piero da Vinci, and a peasant woman, Caterina. Because she belonged to
another social class, her mother was not included in the family, nor was she welcomed into her
father's house. Nothing is known about Caterina's relationship with her son.

Some scholars of Leonardo's life support the idea that she nursed him for the first year of his
life, as was customary at the time, and that they may have been together for part of their early
childhood. Other authors affirm that Leonardo was deprived of Caterina's care after his birth and
could not be baptized, which was attended by her. They say that already in his few people, his
mother was not there.

A childhood memory of Leonardo da Vinci, by Sigmund Freud, highlights how his mother's
absence limited the life of the great Renaissance artist. Leonardo was a sad boy. Throughout
his life, he makes references to the figure of his mother, giving the sensation of a fragile bond.

There are also few affective references to his father, giving us the feeling that it was not an
important link.
On Leonardo's sexual orientation there is no consensus among scholars. Analyzing Freud's
studies on the roots of Leonardo's possible homosexuality, we might think that the artist would
have spent the first years of his life living alone with his single mother. This is how Freud
explained his theory:

In all our male homosexuals there was a very intense erotic attachment to a female person,
generally the mother; a visible individual. This attachment was fostered by excessive love
towards the mother in the early childhood and then totally forgotten by the mother; but also by
the withdrawal or absence of the father in the childhood period.

Love for the mother cannot consciously develop further [because it is too threatening for the
child], and therefore merges with repression. The child represses his love for his mother by
taking her place, identifying with her; and taking his own person as a model, and by this
similarity he is guided to the choice of the object of his love. This is how he becomes
homosexual; in fact, he reverts to the stage of autoerotism, since the boys the growing adult
loves are only surrogate persons for his own child person, whom he loves in the same way that
his mother loved him. We say that he finds the object of his love in the path of narcissism, since
the Greek legend called Narcissus the child for whom nothing was more pleasant than his own
image in the mirror, and who became a beautiful flower of that name.

In Freud's thesis, Leonardo's homosexuality rested on a greater love relationship with his
mother and a strong distance from his father.

However, this same affective bond between Leonardo and his mother, in Freud's opinion, was
"entirely forgotten", which can be verified by the absence of the mother figure in his personal
notes.
It is interesting to see that the analysis carried out with the life histories of different social E5,
Freud agrees that they claim to have a closer bond with the mother figure, although almost
always fragile. The social miser's relationship with the father figure becomes cold and distant,
sometimes idealized, and he tries to fill that great void, to compensate for his absence, with the
figure of an idealized but unattainable Totem.

The artist kept his intimate life a secret. For Freud, "Leonardo represented the cold rejection of
sexuality, something that should not be expected from an artist and painter of feminine beauty."
a woman. Only one, called Cecilia, seems to have moved his feelings, but he did not experience
anything with her in concrete. We can imagine that, as a social E5, Leonardo did not prioritize
affective relationships, because his Totem and his interest were not in any human figure, but
were projected in the ideal world of ideas and theories to which he devoted himself so much.
Thus, there is no indication that Leonardo engaged in frank sexual activity, neither in his
manuscripts nor in the testimony of people who lived close to him. As for sexuality, he writes
coldly and with distance:

The act of procreation and everything related to it is so abject that humanity would undoubtedly
become extinct, if it were not for the fact that it is an established custom and that there are
beautiful faces and sensual natures.

According to Freud, the origin of Da Vinci's genius and his extensive scientific work lies in the
sublimation of his libido. For him, Leonardo was a case in which "the libido escapes the fate of
repression, sublimating itself from the start into curiosity" and, thus, all the energy that should
have been directed toward sexual curiosity was directed toward research. and intellectual
activity. For Leonardo, there was no other object of love than work and his scientific interest.

Freud adds:

The only passion he had he turned into a search for knowledge, and upon reaching the
culmination of his work, which is the acquisition of knowledge, he allowed the long-repressed
affect to come freely to the surface, as the dammed water of a river is allowed to flow.
The artist himself wrote in his Codex Atlanticus the following entry, sexuality: "Intellectual
passion expels sensuality."
Leonardo preaches against lust. The social E5 tends to save energy, experiencing pleasure with
restrictions. The intensity frightens him and, therefore, he seeks to protect himself by containing
the impulse and delivery, thus repressing his own gluttony. He imposes a strong dominance
over his desires, since assuming them before the other implies the risk of not finding resonance.
Normally they do not trust that the other can give them what they need and, prey to fear and
mistrust, they withdraw from contact and renounce affection and love.

In favor of containment, Leonardo writes:

He who does not contain the desires of lust puts himself on the same level as animals. You
cannot have more or less control than the one we have over ourselves. It is easier to resist at
the beginning than at the end.

As for other traits of the artist, some scholars affirm that he was impassive and apparently
serene, qualities that certainly hid the conflicts and complexity of his inner life. Vasari described
him as having a beautiful appearance, a graceful physical body.

Another investigator of his life, S.B. Nuland, refers to the remarkable serenity that he would
maintain throughout his life, combined with a likable and pleasant character. This apparent
serenity is a fairly frequent characteristic of Fives in general, especially in the social subtype,
which hides behind a "veneer" of spirituality.

Among scholars there is a consensus about his detachment, his enigmatic character and his
obsession for secrets. Traits that we find in the social E5, a character that cultivates isolation,
the concealment environment and the avoidance of intimacy.

Of Leonardo's detachment, Nuland writes:

Among these preconceptions is that of a certain detachment from the world. It seemed to some
that the only issues of real importance to Leonardo were those that helped his art and the study
of science.

In his writings and notes we find few records of thoughts and feelings that can reveal his
privacy; moreover, he often wrote in backwards,
"indecipherable" handwriting that only a few could read.

A few writings provide complaints about people who asked him for loans or intruded on his
privacy and details about obligations that he reluctantly assumed. About these registers, Freud
makes an interesting comment that illustrates the tendency to retention, typical of the E5 social:

They are notations of small amounts of money, spent by the artist, written down with minute
precision as if they had been made by an austere or thrifty father of a family. However; there is
nothing more extravagant.
Privacy-related complaints are also pertinent to the elusive personality of the miser, whose need
to protect his or her individual space is acute and feels invaded more easily than other people.
About this, Leonardo wrote: «If you are alone you are all yours. If you are accompanied, you are
half yours
y.
Leonardo, already an adult, wrote about the visits of a woman who, apparently, was his mother,
Caterina. But he didn't call her after his mother and he didn't let his feelings show. His life was
poor in affection. When his mother died, they found among her notes the burial expenses and
the number of priests who carried the coffin. After that, Caterina is not mentioned again.

In one of his notebooks he refers with equal coldness to the death of his father: «On
Wednesday, July 9, 1504, my father died. He was eighty years old. He left ten sons and two
daughters. At seven in the evening my father died.

A comment by Freud on this passage illustrates his emotional inhibition: Theons.

If there had not been an affective inhibition in Leonardo, the note made in his diary would have
been written more or less like this: «Today at seven o'clock my father died. Ser Piero da Vinci,
my poor father!» But the displacement of perseverance to such an indifferent detail in the
account of his death, the time he died, empties the note of all emotion and allows the existence
of some things to be hidden or suppressed to transpire.

Business did not allow Leonardo's father to devote himself to his son, who was cared for by an
uncle. Alone, he found refuge in nature, with which he was truly passionate. She isolated herself
and, from early on, learned to observe her. The lack of a link appears in the solitary and strong
character with people not only distant from the miser, but also in the search for fulfillment
through isolation.

From a young age, Leonardo showed great talent, but he was shy and sensitive, very different
from his extroverted father, the merchant father, who considered himself a seducer. Around
1469, his father went to live in Florence with the whole family. Living in a city that valued art,
Leonardo was sent by his father when he was seventeen to the school of letters and music
under the care of the highly talented Andrea Del Verrocchio.

For Leonardo, observation was the basis of all art. In carrying out his studies, he not only used a
great knowledge of subjects such as physics and mathematics, which he gradually learned,
mind, but also applied an infinite-sharp sense of observation.

Added to this was an exceptional ability to instantly capture, in the form of drawings, everything
he observed, as can be seen in many studies of animals in motion, such as horses and birds.
Leonardo said that, both in art and in science, you have to capture the moment and examine it,
because it contains the past and the future, just as much as it is a thing of the present.
In this regard, the researcher Kenneth Clark refers to the "superhuman speed" of Leonardo's
eye, which made possible the impeccable registration of an instantaneous impression in the
brain. Here, too, we find a strong characteristic of this personality, which develops a great
capacity for observation, the result of a distant attitude, of someone who lives on the periphery
of events and avoids taking center stage in the scenes of life.

In Florence he began to study geometry, mathematics, anatomy, botany and other sciences as
a basis for his paintings. But in Milan, after 1482, the study of nature and his scientific
investigations became more formal and theoretical, becoming, for him, disciplines to be
explored in their own right. From this moment on, Leonardo's career deviates a bit from the arts
and records in his notebooks an odysseyic search for knowledge that will persist for the rest of
his life. These notebooks contain extensive notes on a great variety of topics related to science
and engineering, to which Leonardo devoted considerable energy, at the expense even of his
activities as an artist. These writings reveal a mind in in which naturalism and reason
predominate. On Leonardo's relationship with knowledge, Nuland states:

Studies of mechanics and nature were made with an understanding that, as far as possible,
excluded the mistakes made by ignorance. But for him the big mistakes were those that nullified
independent thought. Although he read and learned to increase his body of information, he
knew that the most direct path to the truth is repeated personal experience with the phenomena
and laws of nature.

His pictures were summaries of knowledge, which gave them the character of scientific
demonstration. The Last Supper is an extraordinary example of this understanding; an
extremely ordered and logical composition, where the application of the principles of geometry
is observed in the entire dimension of the painting and a rigorously rational artistic process.

However, this rationality was the expression of his ideals. Implicit in this ideal form, whether in
geometry or in mathematics, is the idea of perfection and its insertion into the spiritual world, a
common concept in the Renaissance.

The scientific rigor of the preparation of his paintings led Leonardo to the study of human
anatomy. He began to frequent the hospital of Santa Maria Nuova in Florence and soon
devoted himself to describing the mysteries of the human machine. This is how he narrates the
episode of the death of a hundred-year-old man: «And this old man, a few hours before his
death, told me that he was over a hundred years old and that he did not feel that anything was
wrong with his body, only weakness. And so, sitting on the bed without any movement or
incident, he gently left this life. And he continues, in the same tone and without transitions: «And
soon I practiced anatomy, that is, I cut up the corpse that caused such a sweet death».

These studies were interrupted and resumed throughout Leonardo's life, who never managed to
finish his Treatise on Anatomy. Starting from a pictorial problem, other problems, all
concatenated, were presenting themselves to his mind. Leonardo dedicated meticulous
research to all of them: «But problems are like the rings of a chain that has no end».
Thus, starting from the anatomy of the human body, he began to study the eyes: «I say that
vision is produced in all animals by light». Then he discovered the retina and the optic nerve,
which carried light. Then he went on to study light and laid the foundations of photometry, the
impulse goes to the brain: «the retina that sees, as soon as it is reached by the science that
studies the intensity and propagation of light. And the sound: "Just like a stone thrown into
water, which propagates in waves, becomes a center and causes various circles, sound,
emitted in the air, expands circularly."

He soon became interested in bodies in motion.

For this, he began endless studies on the movement and anatomy of horses, and later, with the
same depth, he studied the movement of the winds. In 1505 he resumed his studies on the
Treaty of Flight and developed different flying machines, such as the parachute. Leonardo had a
mind focused on knowledge, with a scientific attitude that analyzed every detail to better
understand the whole. He studied every detail in depth because, for him, a thing was made up
of so many details that it was necessary to know them one by one. This is the basis of his
thinking and his scientific method of observing nature.

But even at such depth, he said, "I always think I haven't studied enough." This is a typical
phrase from the mind of the E5, which has the feeling that it is never prepared enough. Freud
highlights an interpretation given by the biographer Edmondo Solmi, who describes this
characteristic of Leonardo quite clearly: "His insatiable desire to understand everything around
him and to search with an attitude of cold superiority for the deepest secret of all perfection he
condemned his work to remain forever unfinished." In

fact, his mind was interested in knowing the totality of things and phenomena, in an implicit
search for the absolute and for understanding the mysteries of nature and of God. He tried to
understand the intrinsic relationships between the microcosm and the macrocosm, trying to find
in science the laws common to the entire universe.

This is how the writer Martin Kemp exemplified it:

The general premise with which Leonardo da
Vinci worked is that all the apparent diversity of nature is a symptom of an internal unity, which
depends on something like a "unified field theory" that can explain the workings of everything. in
the observable world.
In this "unified field" Leonardo saw clearly the relationship between body and earth, between
micro and macrocosm:

The earth has a vegetative spirit because its flesh is the soil, its bones are the configurations of
the interconnected rocks that make up the mountains, its sinews are the calcareous tuff, and its
blood is the water of the veins; the lake of blood that is in the heart is the sea of the ocean, and
its breath is the rise and fall of blood during the pulse, just as in the sea it is the ebb and flow of
water; and the center of the spirit of the world is the fire that the earth breathes, and the seat of
the vegetative spirit is in the fires, which in various parts of the world explode outward in
volcanic sulfur mines.

In an E5 social, the search for knowledge is based on his feeling of not being prepared and that
it is not yet the time to show off, the result of an over-idealization that increases the distance
between his Totem and the concrete world. An example of this is the large number of criteria
conditions that a good painter, which include many simultaneous variables and sometimes
conflicting and Leonardo establishes for a knot. The result of his work is a kind of "hyper-
naturalism" that impresses not only for its form, but also for its intention to shock the observer.

What is included in the narrative paintings must move those who contemplate and admire them
in the same way that the protagonist of the narrative is moved. Thus, if the story shows terror,
fear, struggle, or even pain, crying and wailing, or pleasure, joy, laughter, and the like, the minds
of those who watch it must move their bodies in such a way that so as to appear to be united in
the same fortune with those representatives in the narrative painting. And if he doesn't achieve
this, the painter's skill is useless.

And about the idealization of Leonardo, Freud comments:

There is an extraordinary depth and a wealth of possibilities that come to hinder any final
decision, enormous ambitions, difficult to satisfy, and an inhibition in the final execution of the
order for which we find no justification, even if the artist never achieves his ideal.

His meticulous studies ended up affecting the creative force and the production capacity of
Leonardo, who found great difficulties in order to finish his works. The books of the studies of
his paintings were growing while the works waited, for years, incomplete. And many times, they
were incomplete. In life, Leonardo was known as a man who, in Vasari's words, "started many
things that he never finished." In this regard, we find this quote in the book by S. B. Nuland:

Leonardo was rarely convinced that his paintings were perfect. Works that many others
declared complete were often considered imperfect by the painter, whose ideas of perfection
were based on criteria too grandiose for most.

A brief account written by the 15th century writer Matteo Bandello allows us to understand
Leonardo's pictorial process:

Many times I saw Leonardo leave early in the morning to work on the scaffolding in front of The
Last Supper, and he would stay there from sunrise to sunset, never putting down his brush, but
continuing to paint without eating or drinking..

Then three or four days would go by without him playing the work, but each day he would spend
several hours examining it, criticizing the figures for himself. I also saw him, when it suited him,
leave La Corte Vecchia during work on the stupendous clay horse, and go directly to the
Grazies. There, up on the scaffolding, he took the brush and gave a few strokes on one of the
figures, and then suddenly went to another place.

In his Hymn of Praise, the art critic Walter Pater reveals another side of Leonardo: the
atmosphere of sensitivity and great openness to mystery, the result of his great capacity for
presence and interior silence.

According to the critic, the artist's constant state of inner attention, far from the daily concerns of
living and doing, made him seem like one voice, silent people who surrounded him so that
Leonardo could listen to other men. He seemed to possess secret knowledge, not accessible to
ordinary people.

Vasari adds that, despite his deep knowledge of art, Leonardo left several works unfinished
because, for him, his hand did not seem to perfectly reach the ideal projected in his mind.

Even the Treatise on Painting, of which he had dreamed so much, was never completed. In the
tireless search for a social E5 of the extraordinary, there is an unconscious will to postpone the
moment in which the work can be presented. The way Leonardo treated the dynamics of his
mind is through showing very little of himself personally, and showing what he produced
instead. This too contributes to the hyper idealization present in the social E5.

There is something in Leonardo as well as in his works that prevents us from fully
understanding him. It is an elusive, cunning and difficult character to capture. As in his
paintings, marked by the strong use of shadows and vague landscapes, this was his
personality, wrapped in a hidden and mysterious atmosphere.
According to Baudelaire, Leonardo was like a
"deep and dark mirror, difficult to see the bottom."

Scholars never quite discovered Leonardo. In addition to being aristocratic and even quite
sociable, in private he was cold, distant and lonely.

However, if he rarely showed any emotion or affection, at the same time he was elevated in his
meditations, giving the impression of a mountain of ice, with the top always covered in snow.
One of the specialists in his life and work, Martin Kemp, describes it like this:

The impression that emerges from the first records is that of an affable and attractive person
who exhibited to everyone except his close friends the air of detachment that accompanies a
closed personality.
When describing the character of Leonardo, Freud highlights idleness and indifference,
characteristics that also make up the quality of the social E5:

At a time when everyone sought to achieve a wide field in which to develop their abilities for
which he needed energetic aggressiveness in front of others-, Leonardo stood out for his
calmness and his aversion to any antagonism or controversy.
Leonardo is described as a calm, brooding and shy man. He had a heretical attitude in his soul,
which was not. He supported no religion, having more appreciation for being a philosopher than
a Christian. About the "philosopher Leonardo" the King of France said: "I do not believe that any
other man born in the world knew as much as Leonardo, not so much about sculpture, painting
and architecture, as that he was a great philosopher".

But even though he was reserved, a part of Leonardo's life was socially oriented. He
participated in social life with groups of artists, philosophers, and scholars, and thus lived for
years among the powerful, striving to win their favor. To entertain the court of Milan, he
prepared riddles and riddles that we can still read today in the Codex Atlanticus, a collection of
documents on his life, consisting of twelve volumes.

If he devoted part of his genius to entertaining the court and the nobles with tasks he deemed
unimportant, he also devoted part of his time and talent to the study of military weapons and
complex defense systems. In his notes, he makes clear the discontent he felt with the demands
of his sponsors and the great difficulty he had in expressing his desire or will, accepting tasks
and jobs that did not interest him.

After twenty years living in Milan, he coldly notes that Duke Ludovico, his patron, has been
deposed: "The Duke lost the State, things and freedom. And no work has been finished for him."
Again the typical disconnection and indifference of this personality appears, which does not
express any emotion or show great interest in the face of suffering.

However, on other occasions, Leonardo was generous, which reveals to us the development of
the virtue of detachment: "I never tire of serving, I never tire of being useful." A contradictory
phrase shows us the implicit thought of a personality whose passion is to retain or keep to
himself:

"Don't teach and you will be excellent."

Although we do not have much information about this scheme about the genius of science and
art, we can outline one of the mysterious character that Leonardo was.

The E5 social described by Claudio Naranjo helps us to visualize with much more clarity
aspects of this man and his inner life. His thirst and passion for knowledge; his search for the
extraordinary; the idealization implicit in his work and in his perfectionist attitude; his
renunciation of affections and relationships; and his detachment and emotional coldness, as
well as the atmosphere of mystery that surrounds his personality are some of the traits that
clearly point to the miserly character described in the social E5.

A fascinating archetype of the Renaissance man, he had an extremely creative and productive
mental world, to the point of making models and drawings every day, but a life of few events.
Although he was a remarkable man in art and science, his enormous potential was subject to
the characteristics of his personality. Absorbed by a mental world of diversified interests and led
by an enormous effort to apprehend everything through reason, he had an interior life poor in
affective pleasures, and an emotional and instinctive world little developed.

Certainly, Leonardo's art led him to a path of greater awareness and his thirst for knowledge led
him to discover more and more the relationships between human existence, science, art and
nature.

On his Apollonian path to perfection, he did not lack vision and a capacity for admiration. He
loved nature and knowledge, he loved the mystery and perfection that surrounds everything.

And yes: he claimed to have offended God and men because his work did not reach the quality
it should have. Leonardo died in 1519, dissatisfied and frustrated at not accepting his
imperfection.

The possibility of self-love, in his case, seems to have found the barrier imposed by his Totem,
which was so big that it overshadowed him.

A tribute to Claudio Naranjo

Claudio Naranjo was an extraordinary man.
Owner of a brilliant mind and a compassionate heart, he was able, like few others, to unite
thousands of disciples around a path of self-knowledge and a living and throbbing spirituality.

This path was traveled by himself, who knew how to open a clearing in the dark forest of his
own Being. Tireless seeker of truth, lover of the divine in all its manifestations, he turned his
search into a prayer of love for humanity. He loved God so deeply that he became deeply
human. And the more human he became, the closer he got to God.

He said: "God was my Totem!" However, his Totem became more and more alive and
flourishing, like a great and leafy orange tree whose wide crown sheltered and gave shade to
many souls and hearts, and offered as gifts the sweet fruits of the nature of his self-realized
mind.

From his love for the infinite, he also found an infinite disposition to love the human. From this
great tree sprouted love and understanding, empathy and listening, respect and compassion,
transparency and firmness.

Claudio began his career as an academic, graduating as a psychiatrist in Chile, his native
country. By studying medicine, he unconsciously sought to fill the arid emptiness of his inner life
through knowledge and science, as is typical of a social E5, which confuses Being with
knowledge.
Still a teenager, he met what would be his great friend and spiritual father, the poet and sculptor
Tótila Albert, an "unknown prophet". From him he received the keys that opened the doors of
his path.

A visionary, Tótila perceived that Claudio would be a teacher who would sow his teachings and
values in a single embrace, portrayed in his work The Birth of the Self. would come to realize in
himself the integration of the three integrated figures.

In this figure, the condor, a sacred bird of the Andes, represents the communication between
the upper world and the earthly world. On his right wing he carries the Father, who points to
heaven; on her left wing rests the Mother, who points to the earth; and in the center, pointing
forward, is the Son, the divine child on his heroic spiritual journey.

Little by little, Claudio discovered that science would not take him very far in his search,
because what he longed for was inside himself. More than knowing the world, he sought deeply
to know himself, and through his search he became wise.

As Lao Tzu said: "Whoever knows others is intelligent, whoever knows himself is enlightened."
With a shy and withdrawn personality, Claudio could never imagine such high flights. It was a
living example of how far the human being can go with his search. Not even in his clearest
dreams, the mind of a miser could imagine such dedication and delivery to serve and help so
many people. He said that we are born to fly, like butterflies; but like the butterfly itself, to fly it is
necessary to go through an important period of transformation, in which it leaves its larval phase
to fulfill its highest vocation. Claudio was a living example of this transformation, and his
greatest inspiration was his love for his beloved son Matias, who died at the age of eleven.

Claudio taught everything he knew and experienced. Indeed, he transcended the ordinary mind
of a miser who wants to keep his treasures for himself and generously offered every jewel he
conquered. Endowed with a great capacity for synthesis, he knew how to integrate Apollo and
Dionysus, science and spirituality, spirit and instinct, Heaven and Earth, silence and music.

A lover of the arts, he taught to listen to the music that comes from the soul, to read in depth the
classics that reflect the human trajectory. The great masters of the West to classical musicians-
would be happy to know that their music was -that's what Claudio called understood and
listened to deeply, not with the ears of the body, but by listening to the heart. Whether in the joy
of Mozart or in the perfection of Bach, in the heroism of Beethoven or in the great
compassionate love of Brahms, in all these teachers Claudio saw the purest essence of man
and his spirituality. In Ravel's Bolero he found a hymn that translates being in its fullness,
turning on itself until it reaches the apex of its trajectory. This mystery is revealed in the calm,
empty and detached mind, fruit of the good fortune of the virtuous seeker.

The most famous writers, such as Dante Alighieri, Shakespeare-Cervantes, or Balzac would
undoubtedly be happy to know the profound dimension of their works was so well understood,
not only for their historical relevance, but for transferring to attentive Claudio's gaze the essence
of the divine human comedy. From the great classics, he drew passages and portraits that
helped us understand all the nuances of the characters we interpret in life, with the
meticulousness of someone who knows the fingers of and with his own hand.

When teaching the practice of meditation,

Claudio always took his disciples to a unique and exclusive experience. With such profound
results, they felt as if they were in front of a jewel made by a great craftsman, who knows how to
decorate and give the exact contour to the precious stone that he wants to value. Each
meditation was a door that opened to the mystery of consciousness. He taught the art of silence
and of not doing, to achieve more with less, reading because, as in the Tao, the interior is
outside and the exterior is to trust the movement of energy in the body and in nature. - within".

The alchemist's creation is to keep the fire low and steady." His "bag of tricks" caught on with
something new, more and more subtle and profound because it seemed endless, and we are
always surprised by his own experience and the evolution of his own consciousness. Once he
told that he heard from Tótila the phrase:

"Consciousness never stops evolving", which reminds us of another classic sentence of

Sakyamuni Buddha: "Wonder of wonders, every being has Buddha nature!" Certainly Claudio
aged, but his mind never stopped evolving, becoming more and more lucid."

Claudio traveled for years taking with him dozens of folders containing information about the
lives of those who became his students and followers. However, she did not need to go back to
her writings to bring to mind something important about a person, who perhaps she herself
could no longer remember. He had the science of attentive listening and interest in human
beings. Reflecting the compassionate mind of great souls, he always wore a smile on his face.

But also, with the firmness of the true masters, he could destroy egos laden with
unconsciousness with a single blow. Seeker of truth, friend of sincerity, he carried a flaming
sword, symbol of wisdom that cuts ignorance, origin of all suffering.

Certainly, much of this quality was learned with Fritz Perls in the golden days of Esalen, in
which he directly suffered the caresses that the master offered him. And in this case, the
disciple surpassed the teacher, not in the sadism typical of Lust, but in assertiveness and
surgical precision, worthy of the clarity of a bird of prey, which sees from the top of its flight.

A profound connoisseur of human passions,

Claudio never lost faith in the divine nature of man. He was looking for the truth wherever it was,
beyond prejudices and dogmas. He was always interested in finding the best way to help the
human being, at the service of conscience. That is why it was inclusive, seeking to extract the
best from each tradition and spiritual path. He taught the essence of Christianity, Sufism,
Taoism, Zen, Islam, Hinduism, Judaism, Shamanism and Buddhism from different eras and
traditions, because in all ways he found resonance with "the only search" or " the hero's
journey» in search of himself. He was a disciple of many teachers and a teacher of many
disciples, and until the end of his career he was always willing to learn, remaining faithful to the
relationship with his beloved teacher, Tarthang Tulku Rinpoche.

A lover of dedication, he was, like Nietzsche, an apostle of Dionysus. He had a deep trust in
spontaneity; he taught that trust in impulses was the best path to a more integrated life and that
good humor was the key to a freer mind. He surrendered deeply to altered and elevated states
of consciousness, seeking the integration of Light and Shadow for a deep understanding of the
Being.

Claudio was a lover of drunkenness, but not that caused bv alcohol. but drunkenness of the soul
Claudio was a lover of drunkenness, but not that caused by alcohol, but drunkenness of the soul
inspired by the deep surrender to the Spirit.

He was also a lover of freedom, but not of a life without limits, but of true inner freedom that
frees the Being from the slavery of his own unconsciousness. He tirelessly taught the way and
never stopped dreaming of transforming the world we live in, inspiring his disciples to dream
with him, like the cosmic dust that follows the trail of the comet where it passes. Claudio was
really a comet, one of those that take thousands of years to be seen, but thanks to his gift of
lighting, he manages to gather a large crowd around him. He profoundly marked our lives and
will be remembered forever by the orange tree. They ate its sweet fruit and were forever
intoxicated by all those who sat down to the sweet aroma. And how pleased we are to hear one
of his most famous phrases, while a chill runs down our spine and joy invades our souls: "And
come what may!"

10. Literary and Cinematic Examples

Jean-Claude Roman
The book by Emmanuel Carrère, a journalist who followed the tragedy of Jean-Claude Roman,
whom he interviewed several times, describes the psychopathology of E5 social.

It is interesting to note that central Jean-Claude-hiding, not making transparent what he thinks
and feels is common to any type Five, even to the diffuse trait, as well as all his communication.
The "as if" is present in his personality, which communicates and pretends something else but
never what he really thinks, feels and lives. These maneuvers naturally remain invisible, hidden,
until a confrontation takes place that demands their clarification.

The social E5 avoids conflicts through indifference, silence and distance, but wishes, while
isolating itself, to continue belonging to the group and to be seen and valued in its singularity.

It is a character that always tries to hide something, out of fear, but, in the end, no longer
identifies very well what it is that it is hiding or why. This is the defense mechanism of the
Enneatype Five, which has been incorporated into his way of being, in fact not only to hide
something, but to hide himself, keeping himself invisible, inaccessible, indecipherable in
interpersonal relationships.
The further away from the world, relationships, and intimacy, the more callous and cold the
social Five can become. The traits of indifference, insensitivity and coldness, related to isolation,
in pathological cases can lead to psychopathy. And this is exactly the case of Jean-Claude
Roman, who lived in the French city of Prèvessin, on the Swiss border, with his wife and raising
their children, and who continued to lie and hide his other life for ten years. the people around
you, especially your family.

When Jean-Claude started getting caught, he made sure the people he loved never knew he
was lying and what he was hiding. And so, after achieving the death of his father-in-law, the first
person who suspected his deceit, on January 11, 1993, reached the apex of his pathology.
Coldly, with a rifle, he killed his wife and their two children (a seven-year-old girl and a five-year-
old boy), just after watching some cartoons with the little ones. He also took the life of his father
and mother; thus, none of them would feel disappointed with him, nor would they discover his
hidden life, which would undoubtedly be cause for great shame and disappointment. In the end,
he took a high dose of barbiturates and set the house on fire, so no one else would find out
what he had done. He assumed that an accidental fire in the house of a World Health
Organization doctor would be the perfect epilogue to this story.

However, when the firefighters entered the house, they found Jean-Claude still alive and took
him to the hospital, alive. He spent twenty-two years in prison and during this time he gave
interviews to the author of the book El adversario.

Jean-Claude killed his wife, his children, his father-in-law and his parents for fear of the grave
disappointment that discovering his hidden life would cause them. He had posed as a doctor
from the World Health Organization (WHO) before the whole world and, supported by that lie,
he had obtained money from his father-in-law and other family members and friends for financial
operations. He claimed that one of the privileges of being an employee of WHO was receiving a
higher rate of return on his investments.

With the money entrusted to him for investments, Jean-Claude maintained a good standard of
living. He was a good father, patient, attentive, loving, and devoted to his wife. Every day he
took his BMW to work, dropped the children off at school and headed for the Swiss border, just
two kilometers from his home.

He cleared customs and headed for the WHO, where his access was limited to the library and
conference rooms. From there he took a lot of letterheads home. He did it every day. He once
took his wife and children in front of the WHO, pointed to a window in the building, and said.

"There, right there, is Dad's office.”

With a total indifference to feelings, with self-control and precautions, Jean-Claude managed to
live two lives at once. His job at the WHO was a lie. Jean-Claude supposedly left home to go to
work, but in reality he spent hours alone, walking between the WHO library, roadside
restaurants, gas stations, or when he made up a work--autistic retreat trip. He also walked for
many hours in a hotel near the airport, where he stayed in a kind of forest, in silence. He was an
active and curious reader.

Jean-Claude was a reserved and intelligent man. The title of Emmanuel Carrère's book, The
Adversary, refers to Revelation 12:9, about "he who deceives everyone and the world." The
Apocalypse says: «And the great dragon was thrown down, the old serpent called Devil; and
Satan, who deceives the whole world, was cast down to the earth, and his angels were cast
down with him." The cunning adversary is another who lives hidden inside and who lacks
feelings and affections; he is alien to himself. It is worth remembering the myth of the Devil, who
is the mythological representation of the ego, the one who deceives everyone.

The social E5, by hiding a secret, locks himself in a tormented solitude. In this way, he isolates
himself more and more psychologically, becoming socially inaccessible, even though he
remains together, as if on a psychic island. He does not reveal what he keeps or hides behind
his closed pride. Their feelings close out of fear and shame, until they take refuge in a space of
coldness, emptiness and indifference. Jean-Claude sacrificed those he could not let down-wife,
children, parents, and father-in-law-for fear of losing their love and becoming nothing. Her pride
and her sense of self-worth wouldn't take it. The way out he found was to hide everything and
make the story disappear, killing those who he imagined would not tolerate his failure as a man,
father, husband and son.

In the analysis of the journalist Carrère, for Jean-Claude there was no distinction between him
and those he loved: he was part of them and vice versa, in a closed and undifferentiated
system, without limits. From this arose the hypothesis that, for Jean-Claude, there was no
difference between suicide and homicide, since he and people were the same thing, compact
and cold, that he could destroy without feeling anything. The absence of feelings leads to
psychopathy. However, in this case, what motivated Jean-Claude to kill was the fear of
disappointment, the fear to be discovered in his hidden world and, therefore, to be rejected.

Deceiving others involves a great fear for this type of character. The person fears being morally
annihilated and banished from the social environment, family, friends, community. This is the
underlying sentiment of Jean-Claude Roman. A social Socialist experiences the phobic zone of
imminent social disintegration very strongly, because he is already exiled from the world but
keeping within himself the desire to belong. There is a fear of disappointing others if they find
out that you are not the nice guy, or nice girl, that you are trying to pretend.

Hiding his secret for years and years, Jean-Claude grew ever darker and darker. The fear of
being transparent led him to maintain a social image of an exemplary husband and father of a
family. He thought he could get away with it, but his dodgy attitudes led his wife to growing
mistrust. His cold and psychopathic thinking was consumed by the murders he committed.

Emmanuel Carrère understood that this was a very unusual crime. His interest in history arose
when he realized that Jean-Claude was someone driven by adverse forces. A good, friendly,
docile, intelligent and dedicated gentleman, who harbored forces that surpassed him within
himself.

Therefore, the journalist decided to write a literary report, which would become a book.

The intent was to enter Jean-Claude's soul, but not like a forensic psychiatrist would, based on
a pathological diagnosis. He went further, and as Dostoevsky did in Memories of the
Underground with his E5, in this case the protagonist, he reveals the pathological dynamics of a
social person, in El adversario.

Jean-Claude read a lot throughout his life.

Amateur and curious, he had the ability and clarity to write. These are common aspects of the
E5, especially the social one, which is presented in a professorial manner and with intellectual
superiority. He had a predilection for philosophical essays. He declared himself an agnostic
rationalist.

During his time in prison, he became even more fond of reading. He continually analyzed
himself trying to understand what had happened to him, as if he were analyzing another person
who did not seem to be him: a flagrant case of pathological psychic dissociation. Later, he
dedicated himself to specialized literature, diving especially into Jacques Lacan.

As a typical E5 Social, Jean Claude was socially transparent. He appeared to be what he was
not and, at the same time, he lived in fear of being found out and disappointed. The WHO
doctor's mask, with which he put on the face and style of someone important, hid his need to be
accepted and valued by his wife and children, family and friends. His pride did not allow him to
be less than a respected doctor, as is common to social E5: they feel small and great at the
same time, always seeking to appear a certain superiority and importance, often intellectual.

The cunning mind, useful to compartmentalize all his facets and also to deal with two strong
personalities inside - a gentle and generous man on the one hand, and the false, conniving, cold
and manipulative one on the journey of hiding his secret. another- drove Jean-Claude insane.

Paradoxically, he revealed a true affective side in his family behavior. He always said that he
tried to
separate life with his wife and children from the rest.

He claimed that he did not want work issues to disturb the home and that his office was free
from domestic influences. It was his way of not getting to gather in his house anyone he knew
from the WHO who could reveal the fraud. No one had his phone number, not even his wife.
When he "traveled for work," his wife communicated with him through a post office box. His wife
even joked about the mystery: "One of these days I'm going to find out that my husband is a spy
for the East." The ability to deceive made Jean-Claude a doctor who was not a doctor. He had
the extreme ability to hide his own shame, and as is common to the social E5, he showed a
compensatory, superior image. hiding what he really felt inside.

Instead of studying Business Administration at university, as his family wanted, Jean-Claude

became interested in medicine.

The Roman family were country people, established near the Jura forest and the small town of
Clairvaux-les-Lacs: austere, hard-working, systematic, and respected people. They worked
hard, prayed to God and cultivated respect for their word as an inviolable commitment. In this
family was Jean-Claude, who had read a lot since he was little and was always a year ahead in
school. He was known as "the wise boy." He was a kind, educated, calm and delicate child and
young man, excessively restrained and apparently very correct.

Jean-Claude greatly admired his father and from a very young age seemed to have
incorporated the paternal characteristic of not showing emotion. Through her mother, she
learned about the power of pain, a feeling that strongly enveloped her, like an organic disease.
To avoid the emotional weight of the mother, she was concerned with learning quickly and
anticipating everything that could harm her.

While in other homes there was animation and joy at family gatherings, at the Romans
everything in that house exhibited frankness and had a value with religious weight, withdrawn.
But even there, as a precaution, there were certain truths that could not be told and white lies
were used in a hidden way.

Jean-Claude learned that he should never disappoint or upset others, nor extol their successes
and virtues. That is, you don't have to show anything, just in case.
In his teens, Jean-Claude was interned at Saunier. He lived alone among the boys and girls; he
was afraid of women and seemed to live on another planet. His classmates were too quick-
witted for the timid Jean-Claude to take well with them, so he spent his days at boarding school
in the company of Claude, an imaginary friend.

Then, when he grew older, he spent his days isolated near the town of Clairvaux. He didn't talk
to anyone but his parents. Before them, who questioned his isolation, he alleged physical
problems to hide his existential conflicts of adaptation to the social environment. Melancholic
and full of doubts, he hid what he felt. The men of the place met in the cafeteria of the town,
except him. He grew up as a young man with a frail and flabby body. He turned into an adult
with the face of a scared child.

On the day of the trial, when questioned about his crime, Jean-Claude restricted his exposition
about his wife, citing deep consideration for her, who was dead.
His lawyer tried in vain to convince him that he should express some feeling, some emotion,
throughout the trial. To do this, he recorded that his client, as a child, talked about his joys and
sorrows, but only with his dog, his only confidant.
The lawyer tried to get Jean-Claude to express any form of human warmth during the trial, since
his coldness in the face of the brutal event was shocking.

Hearing the lawyer evoke memories of his childhood, he reacted by saying that he considered it
indecent to talk about the bad drinks of childhood, heavy secrets that he preferred to keep in
silence. Even so, he doubted, but that he had no one to confide his emotions to, during the
interrogation, Romand made it safely to his dog.

Saying no to others when he was little, he only showed a docile smile and, in this way, hid his
anguish, his sadness and his many childish and adolescent doubts.
he had come to think that one day he would be able to express part of his In his conversations
with the journalist Carrère, he revealed that his wife was anguished. However, after so much
time and so many lies, he no longer knew how to do it.

Jean-Claude explained that he lived dominated by the fear of deception and that was why he
lied: the first lie led to another, and this to another... and so on throughout his life.

During the trial, a journalist who followed the sessions commented to Carrère that Jean-Claude
had revealed himself to be completely in control of himself and fully aware of everything that
was happening around him: there was no longer a man there; just a black hole.

Balthazar Claes
From In Search of the Absolute, by Honoré de Balzac.

In Search of the Absolute is a little work by

Honoré de Balzac whose main character illustrates the E5 social personality. It tells the story of
Balthazar Claes, a chemist, a disciple of Lavoisier and a member of a famous family in the
Netherlands, the Van Claes. This traditional family was descended from noblemen who, over
decades, had amassed a good fortune.

At the beginning of the 19th century, when the story takes place, the Claes family was
represented by Balthazar Claes, Count of Nourho.
After some vicisitudes, from the immense fortune
accumulated by his ancestors there was still
enough income for the count and his family to live
as nobles in the small town of Douai. Balthazar
owned some land that brought him a good income
and a beautiful house, whose furniture and
extensive collection of works of art and rare tulips
were still worth a good sum of money.

It is said that Balthazar, as a young man, fell

in love with the science that Lavoisier cultivated, becoming his most ardent disciple. After his
studies in Paris, Balthazar returned to Douai and some time later married Josefina, who was
also an heiress to a line of nobles from the Spanish royal
house. With her he had four children, two girls and two boys.

The story begins with the suffering of Josefina due to the absence of Balthazar, who little by
little has withdrawn from family life and has devoted more and more time to the laboratory and
her research. On one occasion, Balthazar receives a visit from a chemist friend who urges him
to discover "the formula of the absolute". based on the vision of the ancient alchemists, who had
as their objective the discovery of the philosopher's stone. It would be a unique formula that
would translate the essence contained in all the elements.

Thus, based on this equation, it is possible to transform carbon into diamond or, as the
alchemists would say, transform metal into gold.

Balthazar was totally attracted to this ideal and stubbornly devoted himself to "the search for the
absolute":

From this irrefutable experience, I deduced the existence of the absolute! A common substance
to all creations modified is the sharp and clear position of the problem that the absolute offers,
and that it seemed to me that I had to look for.

The description of this character shows us a genius man, endowed with unusual intelligence,
but also unkempt in appearance:

The deep feelings that animate great men, were breathed in that pale face and strongly
furrowed by wrinkles [.]But above all in those sparkling eyes whose fire seemed equally
increased by the chastity that tyranny gives of ideas and by the inner focus of a vast
intelligence.

The zealous fanaticism inspired by art or science was still betrayed in this man by a singular
and constant distraction. The shoes were either not clean, or the laces were missing the pants
of black cloth full of stains, his vest unbuttoned, his tie turned backwards, and his green coat
always unstitched, completed a fantastic ensemble of small and large things that, in another,
would have patented the misery that vices engender, but that in (Balthazar Claes, was the
negligence of genius.

Balzac's character perfectly fits the descriptions of an E5 social. The author describes him as a
patient and contemplative man, with calm passions and careful words: "To a priest it would have
seemed full of God's words". He goes on to say that an artist would have hailed him as a great
teacher, and an enthusiast would have taken him for a seer of the Swedish church since,
indeed, his appearance always evoked an air of mystery and wisdom.
Balthazar was happily married, but his wife, though she suffered greatly from his absence, had
no access to what had caused her husband to withdraw almost exclusively to his laboratory. He
waited a long time to learn the secret of his work.

Every time she tried to bring up the subject or find out the reason for her anguish and
detachment, he remained silent: «The moment he was going to speak, he immediately slipped
away, left her abruptly or fell into the abyss of his meditations, of that nothing could get him out."

However, Balthazar's research entailed large expenses in the purchase of components and
materials, which came from important laboratories in Paris and other cities in Europe. Little by
little, the fortune accumulated by the family began to dwindle, and the debts became larger and
larger.

But he didn't seem to care, because he only gave his existence a meaning, that of the search
for the absolute.

Balthazar's dogged dedication to the search for this secret formula led him to become
increasingly disconnected from ordinary life and to forget his ties to those around him. He
abandoned his married life and became callous and indifferent to everything he had previously
loved. «He despised his blooming tulips and no longer thought of his children. No doubt he was
indulging in some passion foreign to the affections of the heart. Love was asleep, not buried.»
He was able to come home in the morning, very calm, after having been absent all night,
walking down the street or working in his laboratory. He did not even suspect the torture and
anguish that his distraction caused in his family.

The professorial tone and expert behavior stand out in this character. Socially, he exposed his
knowledge, but never his privacy. It was common for him to ardently defend his ideas and
convictions in conversations, the only time he showed any passion. At a social gathering in his
living room, Balthazar broke his long silence with the following sentence: 3:00 p.m.

What an abyss for human reason, raising hands and joining them in a desperate gesture. A
combination of hydrogen and oxygen makes appear by different doses, in the same medium, on
the same principle, these colors that each constitute a different result.

Balthazar was driven by a great ambition to be the first to find the matter of the absolute and
recreate nature. In a conversation with his wife Josefina, he talks about his dream: «Ethereal
matter that evaporates and that is undoubtedly the matter of the absolute. Think, then, that if I
am the first, if I find I make metals, I make diamonds, I repeat nature».

Here we see a striking characteristic of the social E5, which has enough with the world of ideas,
a place of greater importance than affective relationships. His wife, Josefina, at one point
defines him like this: "Science is more powerful in you than yourself, and its flight has taken you
too high, not to come down again and be the companion of a poor woman."
On one occasion, after insistent requests from his wife, Balthazar decided to leave his studies
and return to domestic life. However, he does not seem to find the same interest in anything
else that he had when he was dedicated to chemistry. In a passage from the book, Balzac
shows us how Balthazar lived, disinterested in ordinary life. His wife always found him sitting
looking at their children.

He read the newspaper attentively, like a withdrawn merchant who doesn't know how to kill
time. Then he would get up, look at the sky through the panes, sit down again and fan the fire,
meditative, like a man who knows his movements.

This lack of motivation led him, some time later, to return to experiments in his laboratory.

And so, between new attempts and failures, Balthazar was consuming a large part of his
fortune, which left his wife increasingly anguished. She could not find a way out of her
husband's madness and gradually lost her health, until she fell seriously ill.

But Balthazar seemed unaware of the ailment that was slowly consuming his wife. In some
passages of the book we observe his disconnection and indifference. «Balthazar returned so
distracted that he did not realize the state of illness in which Josefina was.»
Another fragment again illustrates the coldness of his character in the face of his wife's
situation:

Her husband rarely came to see her. After dinner, he would stay with her for a few hours, but
since the patient did not have the strength to hold a long conversation, he would say one or two
phrases that were eternally similar, would sit down, be silent, and allow an astonishing silence
to reign in the room.

In the last moments of his wife's life, a group of friends and religious friends finished the
ceremony to give her excommunication. Balthazar, immersed in his laboratory, didn't show up
until after. Shortly after he dies and, however, Balthazar seems to be little moved by his wife's,
continuing with his death investigations in search of the absolute.

The family drama continues, now affecting the descendants of the chemist. Marguerite, the
eldest daughter of Balthazar and Josefina, is left in charge of running the family home and
taking care of her younger siblings. He must fight against the madness of his father, who
pursues his only goal at the expense of family welfare. of what remains of.

After the bankruptcy caused by Balthazar's excessive spending, Marguerite finally manages to
take control of the family finances, making her father move to another city and imposing control
over his accounts. With no more money to spend on research and, at the same time, unable to
appease his obstinate search, in which he found the only meaning of his existence, Balthazar
ends up going into debt.
Finally, he returns to the house run by his daughter, who heroically manages to rebuild it
financially and restore the family name.

During his daughter's wedding, Balthazar is shocked to discover, in his abandoned laboratory,
that experiments carried out in the past have produced a small diamond.

It continues with them but without causing the same financial damage as in previous years.
Three years pass and he seems to have given up the search for the absolute.

After this period, his daughter decided to spend a long time in Spain with her husband, and
Balthazar, to stay in the house, which was empty of family members and under the care of the
employees. He maintained the hope of being able to progress in his studies and experiments in
the search for the absolute. However, once again, he fails in his experiments and spends much
more than he could; an event that forces the return of Marguerite, the only person capable of
putting limits on her father's madness.

His return coincides with an event that leaves Balthazar bedridden, with a paralysis that takes
away part of his movement and speech. One day, lying on his bed, Balthazar reads an article in
the newspaper about the "Discovery of the Absolute" , carried out by another contemporary
chemist.

This is how Balzac describes the last moments of the life of Balthazar Claes:

Suddenly, the dying man rose up on his two fists, cast a look on his terrified children that struck
them all like lightning, the hair that adorned his neck fluttered, his face was animated with a
spirit of fire, a breath passed through that face and became sublime; He raised his hand,
clenched with rage, and shouted in a shrill voice for the famous word of Archimedes: "Eureka!"
He fell backwards on his bed, with the heavy sound of a lifeless body; He died letting out a
fearful moan, and his convulsed eyes expressed, until the moment the doctor closed them, the
sorrow of not having been able to give science the word of an enigma whose veil had been torn
belatedly. under the bare fingers of death.

Charles Darwin
Of Creation. Darwin's Dilemma, by Jon Amiel (2009)

Creation is a film that recreates the mental and moral torments of Charles Darwin. His major
work, On the Origin of Species, published in 1859, was a landmark in science. The film reveals
a Darwin torn between his scientific convictions and the fear of offending the Christian faith and
religion.

A typical man of his time, Darwin came from a family with a strong Christian tradition. He
married Emma, his first cousin, with whom he had ten children. An important point in the
narrative is his relationship with his daughter Annie, who died prematurely at the age of ten, and
throughout the film he appears in imaginary dialogues with Darwin, in a kind of "scientific
consciousness". fulfilling the symbolic function of representing science and revealing its
unconscious.

The dramatic knot is the conflict between

Darwin's scientific conviction, imprisoned in a chest that he does not dare to open, and the
Christian faith fueled by the pressure of the environment and the time in which he lived. Only
after a prolonged struggle did Darwin dare to open this chest, full of knowledge and research
accumulated there, to give definitive shape to his revolutionary work.

The film opens with Charles Darwin's daughter asking him to tell her a story, while a photograph
is taken of her. Darwin tells him about one of his trips to Tierra del Fuego. Then he asks about
the photographs being taken and Darwin gives him a new explanation. We see the special
relationship between Darwin and his eldest daughter, for whom he is very fond. A relationship
marked common interest in science and knowledge. for the strong

In a time jump, after this dialogue with the daughter we see Darwin having dinner with his
family, clearly depressed after Annie's death. He carries a strong guilt for his death, for having
married his first degree cousin. We know Darwin was very interested in studying the negative
effects of consanguinity. In addition to this guilt, Darwin also experiences the conflict between
science and religion. Between one thing and another, the film takes place in an air of sadness
and pain, a reflection of Darwin's psychic atmosphere, very similar to the apathetic and gray
inner world of Social E5.

Darwin is visited by two friends who are interested in his work. At first, he tries to hide, but he
ends up receiving them. One of them tries to convince him that he needs to finish his book
faster, it will be very important for science.

However, Darwin then argues that he does not have any books, only fragments that are not
ready to be published. The friend replies that he has read the summary and that he has very
powerful arguments. But Darwin insists that his book is not complete and that he needs much
more time to finish it. In the end, Darwin claims that his theory has killed God.

We see here some features of the social type

5, which walks between guilt and fear, between postponement and paralysis, between
concealment and avoidance. He tends to believe that he is never ready enough. He needs more
time to prepare, to go deeper, in an attempt to extract all the knowledge from his scientific
investigations.

Although the gaze of others recognizes him as special, he always goes with insecurity and fear
of exposing himself, postponing himself and his work.

After this visit, Darwin goes to his room, where he begins a dialogue with his already dead
daughter. These dialogues that occur in his imagination, his in so many moments of the film,
make us know thoughts, feelings and memories, always lived internally, in a kind of split with
reality.

In one of these memories, Darwin is in a room with his wife, watching their daughter in a cradle.
At each expression of the baby, he notes in a notebook, gathering information for what will be a
treatise on child development.

This character is passionate about knowledge, and through his scientific interest, he tries to
have a relationship with the world. She transforms a moment of contact with her daughter into a
possibility of study to have more knowledge, while through knowledge she maintains the
affective bond with her daughter and elaborates the duel.

Darwin is taking a walk with family and friends in the countryside. We see his passion for
teaching, typical of our social type 5 enneatyoe.

Between scientific explanations and demonstrations of his extensive knowledge, he begins a

discussion with the Reverend about the meaning of things, and the way faith and science look
at them. A large part of the universe of the social E5 is occupied by the thirst for knowledge and,
in the social field, knowledge represents their passport to belonging.

In another scene, Darwin's wife tells stories to their children at night before they sleep. Darwin is
hiding, listening at the entrance to the room. A daughter asks about the father, and why he is
not with them now to see them off. They believe that after the death of their older sister, Darwin
has stopped disliking them. The mother justifies that the father is tired, while Darwin, who listens
to everything, has no initiative to contact.
We see here a distant Darwin who cultivates an attitude of isolation and disinterest in
relationships, traits of the social Is. Guilt is also strong in this personality that, faced with a
constantly frustrated idealization, suffers from a strong self-demand and devaluation.

Darwin is in his room, looking at the writing in the book, when he begins another dialogue with
the dead daughter. She asks him what he's afraid of, and he says that his theory will change
how people think about God's plans and that it could break his wife's heart. At some point, he
had said that he was at war with God. In truth, he is in a silent battle with himself. The death of
his daughter was the impetus that Totem of science lacked. to transfer the Totem of Faith
towards the
The guilt that important Darwin feels for the death of his daughter is part of the drama. At some
point, his daughter asks him why he doesn't share it with his wife. His wife opens the door and
sees Darwin talking to himself, with no one in the room. When she asks him if he's okay, Darwin
hides his anguish and keeps quiet.

It is a great isolation, that of Darwin. It reminds us of the lack of trust in human relationships
typical of the social person, who does not share his privacy, and hides conflicts and feelings.
After all, he doesn't trust that he can receive help.
Darwin is still tormented when he receives a letter from Alfred Russel Wallace, who has
independently reached the same conclusions as him, expressed in a small article of barely
twenty pages. Darwin decides to drop out. He is quite angry because he had already written
more than 250 pages in more than twenty years of an investigation that has not yet been
concluded.

Many times he does not find the strength to continue, since he walks along with negativity and
the feeling of failure. In the face of anger, he usually gives up and abandons, because he has a
good strategy in the face of conflicts in detachment.

All the conflict experienced by Darwin makes him sick. And after a trip for treatment, Darwin
returns home and finds the strength to talk to his wife about his guilt. He confesses the
projection he pours on her, believing that she blames him and condemns him for the death of
her daughter. His wife reassures him, it is not like that, and from this conversation Darwin draws
strength to continue and finish his work.

Isaac Borg
From Wild Strawberries, by Ingmar Bergman (1957)

The film begins with a very comprehensive preamble. "Distinguished Professor" Isak Borg
receives a prestigious academic award and must travel to collect it. However, the day begins
with a nightmare that presages that the trip will also be a journey through his existence:
emptiness, indifference, lack of life. His daughter-in-law Marianne offers to make the trip with
him.

During the trip, Marianne tells her father-in-law what she thinks of him. He reproaches him for
being stingy with his medical son, Evald, and for his lack of sensitivity; reminds him of the times
he denied him his help and his indifference: "You only listened to yourself." The old man seems
to only give importance to a financial debt that his son has and has completely forgotten his
refusal to help him. Your daughter-in-law's words will always come to you like a sudden blow
that takes you by surprise.

A detour in the itinerary takes them to the house where Isak lived for twenty years, with his nine
siblings, and the old man lets himself be carried away by his memories. A journey through time
begins.

He sees his cousin Sara, whom he once loved, who is picking strawberries for his Uncle Aaron.
Suddenly, a young woman very similar to Sara (played by the same actress) who is hitchhiking,
asks Isak to take her and her two friends. He accepts and the car resumes its march.

Along the way they find the house of Isak's mother, who is over ninety years old, and they go to
visit her. The old woman is cold and detached towards her son, and even when she shows Isak
old toys and photographs from the past, she does not allow him any sentimental outpouring.
After the brief visit, daughter-in-law and father-in-law are back on the road, and while Marianne
drives, Isak falls asleep and has a new nightmare:

His cousin Sara forces him to look at his old face in a mirror and shows him that he is unaware
of how he leads his life and of all that he has lost.

Isak can't bear the pain Sara's words cause him and wishes he didn't hear or see. Stay in your
emotional blindness.

In another nightmare, Isak is going to take a test. A strict teacher takes him to a classroom and
questions him, questioning his answers and calling him incompetent. But the accusations do not
refer to his medical competence, but to his incompetence as a human being.

Isak is forced to see his eye through a microscope, as if he were seeing himself; to face his cold
relationship with the patients and his indifference towards his wife's feelings. The professor
accuses him of selfishness and misunderstanding and imposes loneliness on him as a
sentence.

When the professor wakes up, he tells Marianne: "I'm dead- even though I'm alive," and
Marianne confesses that her relationship with her husband is difficult and that he doesn't want
the child she's expecting.

The journey comes to an end. Marianne and Isak arrive at Evald's house, where they find the
housekeeper, who has arrived by plane. The ceremony begins with trumpet blasts and the
ringing of bells, and the formula is read in Latin, recalling the symbols of the Totems to which
the professor has dedicated his life. Meanwhile, Isak, who feels that something has changed
inside him, decides that he will write about the experience of that day.

During the evening, she treats the housekeeper nicely, tries to reconcile her daughter-in-law
with her son, greets the girls she's driven with, and manages to whisper, "Write to me
sometime." When he falls asleep, he remembers happy moments from his childhood and has
the image of his parents in front of him, a symbol that he can only find his lost humanity by
meeting the needs of that child.

12. Process of Transformation and Therapeutic Recommendations

For this super-idealized type, who tends to exchange the concrete world for an abstract reality
generated in his mental universe, an important step in his growth process is to come down from
his "ivory tower", "to descend into the world of humans". and share with them his humanity.

As he lives more in his imaginary world, turning to the reality of the world and relationships and
living them from instinct and emotions can be great goals. It is part of their growth to understand
that, in order to reach God, one must first learn to be human.
It will be a difficult task to let go of your attachment to yourself and your own ideas and theories,
which fill your emptiness and make you feel important. But the search for the extraordinary
deprives him of the experience of the present moment and of opening himself up to new
experiences and learning with ordinary people.

When the social Is is confronted with its ideal image, it loses its position as an expert and can,
little by little, rest in a "not knowing".

For this reason, all forms of therapy that favor emotions, instinct and the body are
recommended to the representative of this enneatype. Recovering sensitivity is very important
for a character that hides behind an excessive intellectuality and an apparent insensitivity.

Of the more traditional approaches,

psychoanalysis is not the best path for the Social E5, since an overly analytical path makes you
feel in your comfort zone. Approaches that emphasize increased contact can help you build a
more intimate therapeutic relationship that helps you challenge your well-founded theories.

On the other hand, the approaches that privilege spontaneity and emotional and bodily
expression take the social E5 to a lesser-known world, allowing greater friction of its neurotic
structure.

Group therapies, such as Claudio Naranjo's SAT Program, or therapeutic theater, greatly favor
expression and freedom. Impact therapies, such as the Hoffman process and gestalt therapy,
which lead to emotional release, are also indicated for this character.
Surrendering to the flow of bodily movement, whether in dance or in approaches such as
bioenergetics or spontaneous movement, helps move stagnant energy due to excessive apathy
and that extreme intellectuality. All meditative practices and those that involve movement and
reduction of mind control can contribute a lot to the process of developing this character.

In relation to his apathy, each action is

measured by the degree of effort and the amount of energy involved. For this reason, E5 social
often leaves for later what could be solved now, hoping that things will resolve themselves.
Thus, a good recommendation would be to learn not to postpone your action; the magical idea
that you don't need to move for things to work out.

The issue of delivery is very significant.

Connecting with a social E5 and feeling that he is not fully delivered to the very relationship. His
neurotic need drives him to always leave a common window open, ready to flee from the ties.

Living in an intimate relationship with dedication is highly recommended for this Totem in need
of an extraordinary ordinary life because, by giving up his search for the ultimate, he can
discover that there is a lot of meaning in the little things.
Another weak point of this character is its relationship with pleasure. We are dealing with
someone who, in his compulsive search for the ideal imposed by his Totem, ends up moving
away from himself and his true needs, being able to easily renounce his desires. He is satisfied
with very little and is easily abandoned, living with austerity and sacrifice. A good
recommendation would be to allow yourself more pleasure, as an act of generosity with
yourself. The famous self-indulgence, "I deserve it" of the E7, the gluttony type, would fit him
like a glove as a new attitude against greed and his tendency to blame himself.

The practice of generosity is a very enriching path for this stingy who considers the presence of
the other unnecessary. The dedication of oneself, of time for the other, of listening, of interest
and of authentic availability, enrich his life. Generosity, in this case, is a seed that fertilizes the
arid soil of his heart and allows him to recognize something very important: that the more he
offers to the world, the more he has.

His resigned and consenting attitude may appear to be that of a detached and generous person.
However, we know seizure is not transcendent, but rather neurotic resignation.

Cultivating the true virtue of transcendent detachment leads you to get out of yourself, to give
yourself. It invites you to be more transparent, to come out from behind the wall.

Another important aspect for the E5 social is learning to appropriate his desire and to express
his will. He gives up his desire as easily as his relationships. He doesn't seem to care about
others or things, and that's how his relationship with money tends to be. The taboo of greed
leads him to idealize poverty. "Better to live with little," thinks this character who saves energy
and is accommodating.

You better own up to your "greed" as well as your desires and cravings before you give them
up.
Detachment becomes a virtue when we observe the right moment to experience it.

It is important that the social E5 assume an attitude of abundance towards life, which contrasts
with their stingy tendency to settle for little or almost nothing. Living abundance can be
understood as a form of generosity, since he lacks an attitude towards himself and, by
extension, towards others. generous.

Observing the famous commandment: «Love your neighbor as yourself and God above all
things», we see that for the social E5, whose Totem always looks for something in the stars,
love for God is the easiest of all. However, love for others is his great challenge.

Finally, we highlight the two most important aspects in the process of developing a social E5:
friendships and the relationship with the teacher or spiritual friend. In friendship we find
important support for those who are so used to loneliness and self-sufficiency. Therefore,
developing the ability to build and cultivate relationships of true friendship, with intimacy, is a
difficult task for a social person, but more than recommendable. It would be the most human
form of support that could nurture and transform the autistic, arid, cold and hard world that was
created in the shadow of his Totem.

In the story of Milarepa, a Tibetan saint who represents the social E5, we see that the close
relationship he established with Marpa, his ultimate spiritual teacher, was the only link capable
of breaking his solipsism and leading him back to his "true self."

In the life of Milarepa, the great search for the extraordinary, driven by a spiritual ambition, as a
response to the loss of interest in the world, leads a social E5 to the integration of the rejected
aspects of himself and that he projected into the world.
From there you can love yourself and love more humane, surrender to your great admiration for
God.