Your Essay Is Well

Your essay is well-structured, clearly articulates both sides of the argument, and provides a
compelling case for why the advantages of globalization outweigh its disadvantages. The use of
advanced vocabulary and sentence structures is impressive. Here’s an enhanced version with
subtle improvements for further clarity and fluency:
---
Globalization has reshaped the way businesses function, offering immense opportunities for
growth while simultaneously presenting notable challenges. On the one hand, it has enabled
companies to penetrate new markets, leverage cheaper resources, and benefit from
technological advancements. On the other hand, globalization has also intensified competition,
led to labor exploitation, and created economic dependencies. In my opinion, despite the
challenges, the advantages of globalization far outweigh its disadvantages for businesses.
A major benefit of globalization is the access to a wider market. Companies can expand beyond
domestic borders, significantly increasing their customer base and revenue. For instance,
technology giants like Apple and Google have thrived by entering international markets, with a
substantial portion of their revenue now derived from global sales. This international reach not
only boosts profits but also helps diversify risks, reducing a company’s dependence on a single
economy and shielding it from local market fluctuations.
In addition to market expansion, globalization enables businesses to access resources,

materials, and labor at lower costs. Outsourcing production to countries with cheaper labor
allows companies to cut expenses and increase profit margins. For example, multinational
corporations like Nike and IKEA manufacture their products in developing countries where labor
and production costs are lower. This cost-efficiency benefits both the business, by increasing
profitability, and consumers, by offering more affordable products.
Furthermore, globalization fosters innovation through international knowledge-sharing and

collaboration. Companies can adopt advanced technologies and best practices from other
regions, thereby improving productivity and competitiveness. Exposure to diverse markets
encourages innovation, as businesses must tailor products and services to meet the varied
needs of global customers. Ultimately, this leads to technological advancement and a more
dynamic, competitive business environment.
However, globalization is not without its drawbacks. Increased competition is a significant

challenge, particularly for small and medium-sized enterprises (SMEs). Large multinational
corporations, with their vast resources and economies of scale, often overpower local
businesses in developing markets, leading to their decline. This can negatively affect local
economies, as small businesses play a vital role in job creation and community development.
Additionally, the exploitation of labor in countries with lax regulations is a serious concern.
Some businesses may take advantage of lower wages and inadequate working conditions in
developing countries to reduce costs, leading to unethical practices such as sweatshops or child
labor. These issues raise important questions about corporate social responsibility and the need
for stricter global labor standards.
Despite these challenges, I believe that the advantages of globalization for businesses outweigh
its disadvantages. While competition can be intense, it also serves as a catalyst for innovation
and improvement. Moreover, the negative aspects, such as labor exploitation, can be mitigated
through stronger regulations and the adoption of ethical business practices. In the long run,
globalization provides businesses with opportunities for growth, collaboration, and
technological advancement—factors that are crucial for success in today’s interconnected
world.
In conclusion, while globalization presents both benefits and challenges for businesses, its
advantages, including access to larger markets, cost savings, and innovation, are more
impactful. With the right regulatory framework and ethical standards in place, businesses can
harness the full potential of globalization while minimizing its negative effects.
---
### Key Enhancements:

1. **Improved Vocabulary:** Subtle adjustments like using "intensified competition" instead of
"increased competition" and "knowledge-sharing" instead of "collaboration" further elevate the
essay's sophistication.
2. **Refined Transitions:** Enhanced linking phrases like "Additionally," and "Furthermore"
improve flow and cohesion.
3. **Conciseness:** Some sentences were refined for brevity and clarity without compromising
meaning.
This version maintains the strength of your original argument while further polishing the
language and coherence for a band 8+ performance.

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Your essay is well-structured, clearly articulates both sides of the argument, and provides a

In addition to market expansion, globalization enables businesses to access resources,

Furthermore, globalization fosters innovation through international knowledge-sharing and

However, globalization is not without its drawbacks. Increased competition is a significant

### Key Enhancements:

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