222

my p e a c e m a k i n g activities), p e o p l e gener al l y did not listen. In

this i ns t a nc e , as in ot he r s , it has oft en s e e me d to me t hat my e n ­
ergi es have b e e n wast ed. But for years I have b e e n c o n s o l e d by
an a c c o u n t of a p a t i e n t of mi n e wh o a t t e n d e d a c o n f e r e n c e at
whi c h one o f t he Be r r i g a n b r o t h e r s ( who have l ong b e e n i n­
vol ved in radi cal civil d i s o b e d i e n c e on b e h a l f of d i s a r m a m e n t )
was speaki ng. My p a t i e n t said t ha t at this c o n f e r e n c e s o m e o n e
asked F a t h e r Be r r i g a n h o w he coul d c o n t i n u e over d e c a d e s to
do his wor k w h e n it s e e me d to have no obvi ous results. He r e­
s p o n d e d , "We d o n ' t even t h i nk a b o u t results. I f we did, we
wo u l d be de a d by now. Th e results are not our c o n c e r n . We j u s t
do wh a t we t h i n k is right, wh a t we feel we have to do, a nd leave
t he results up to God. "

THE PARADOXES OF TIME AND MONEY

We mu s t not onl y c h o o s e the level o f our i n v o l v e me n t a nd our

r e sponsi bi l i t y as citizens but also c o n s i d e r t he m a t t e r of t i mi ng.
De c i d i n g w h e n to get i nvol ved is crucial, given t ha t we can
ne ve r do e v e r yt hi ng we may wa n t to do in this life, a nd given
t he reality t hat o ur own r e s o u r c e s — o f t i me, ener gy, and
mo n e y — ar e li mi t ed. I onc e me t a w o m a n of fifty-five whos e
c h i l d r e n we r e gr own a nd who was heavily i nvol ved in civil dis­
o b e d i e n c e . She not only ha d t he t i me a nd e ne r gy but also the
t o l e r a n c e for such activism; in fact, she r e g a r d e d it as u n p r o ­
duct i ve i f she d i d n ' t go to j ai l at least o n c e a mo n t h . But I d o u b t
t ha t God is likely to call a ne w mo t h e r , or a f a t he r wh o s e i n c o me
mu s t s u p p o r t his family, to go to j ai l for civil d i s o b e d i e n c e .
As t he saying goes, t i mi n g is ever yt hi ng. Ma n y p e o p l e al­
r eady have t he i r h a n d s full ma k i n g a living a nd rai si ng t hei r
c hi l dr e n. O t h e r s ma k e a di f f er ent choi ce. I have h e a r d of a
n u m b e r of civil activists who wer e successful as society' s move r s
and shaker s but s e e me d to be failures as pa r e n t s . A p p a r e n t l y
t hey s pe nt far mo r e t i me on social causes t h a n on t hei r own
c h i l d r e n a nd h o me s . Yet s ome o f t he s e activists wer e obvi ousl y
cal l ed to t he i r wor k, a nd whi l e t hey may have r e g r e t t e d not
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s p e n d i n g mo r e t i me with t he i r c h i l d r e n , t he wor l d is very possi ­

bly b e t t e r off for t he i r sacrifices.
Ma ny significant c o n t r i b u t i o n s are m a d e to society t h r o u g h
t he giving of t i me, mo n e y , or o t h e r r e s o u r c e s by st r ongl y p r i n ­
ci pl ed i ndi vi dual s wh o r e g a r d t he i r ci t i z e ns hi p as a r e s p o n s i b i l ­
ity. "Vo l unt e e r i s m" is t he wor d we use to de s c r i be efforts at
t r yi ng to do good in s phe r e s b e y o n d p e r s o n a l e c o n o m i c i nt e r ­
ests a nd family. As s oon as a p e r s o n st ands up for s o m e t h i n g
wi t h no e x p e c t a t i o n of r e wa r d, his i n v o l v e me n t in a cause is es­
sentially vol unt ar y. A p h i l a n t h r o p i s t v o l u n t e e r s his mone y. A
t e a c h e r may pr ovi de free aft er-school t u t o r i n g to c h i l d r e n in a
p o o r n e i g h b o r h o o d . A s t u d e n t may assist at a h o me l e s s shelter.
A h o m e m a k e r may ma k e weekl y visits to s p e n d quality t i me with
l onel y r e s i de nt s of a h o m e for t he elderly.
D o i n g v o l u n t e e r wor k is a calling. It is as l e gi t i ma t e a nd as
c o m p l e x a c hoi c e as a c a r e e r deci si on. I bel i eve t hat mo s t p e o ­
ple s houl d v o l u n t e e r at s ome t i me or a n o t h e r , a nd t ha t t he
pr oc e s s a nd o u t c o m e o f d o i n g so are always mu t u a l l y benefi ci al
to society a nd to t he i ndi vi dual . W h e t h e r on e does so in yout h,
mi d d l e age, or old age, v o l u n t e e r i n g pr e s e n t s an o p p o r t u n i t y
for l e a r n i n g a nd gr o wi n g t h r o u g h service to ot her s. The e n t h u ­
siasm a nd e n e r gy of t he y o u n g , a nd the availability, e x p e r i e n c e ,
a nd c o mp a s s i o n o f ol de r p e o p l e ma k e t h e m pot e nt i a l l y very
d e d i c a t e d vol unt e e r s .
But the c hoi c e o f v o l u n t e e r i s m mu s t be we i g h e d by ma n y
factors, o f wh i c h t i mi ng may be t he mos t crucial. In the s ucci nct
wor ds of Ecclesiastes:

To every t h i ng t h e r e is a season, a nd a t i me to every p u r ­

pose u n d e r t he he aven;
A t i me to be b o r n , a n d a t i me to die; a t i me to pl ant , and
a t i me to pl uc k up t hat wh i c h is p l a nt e d;
A t i me to kill, a nd a t i me to heal; a t i me to b r e a k down,
a nd a t i me to bui l d up;
A time to we e p, a nd a t i me to l augh; a t i me to m o u r n ,
a nd a t i me to d a nc e ;
A t i me to cast away st ones, a nd a t i me to g a t h e r st ones to-
224

ge t he r ; a t i me to e mb r a c e , a nd a t i me to ref r ai n f r om
e mb r a c i n g ;
A t i me to get, a nd a t i me to lose; a t i me to ke e p, a nd a
t i me to cast away;
A t i me to r e n d , and a t i me to sew; a t i me to ke e p silence,
and a t i me to speak;
A t i me to love, and a t i me to hat e; a time of war, a nd a
t i me of peace.

Jus t as t i me is i mp o r t a n t , o t h e r r e s o u r c e s also ma k e a dif­

f e r e nc e in one ' s ability to serve society. Ma n y simplistically mi s ­
c o n s t r u e activism as a call to radi cal poverty, a nd t hus reject it.
Wo r k i n g for the good of society n e e d not be s y n o n y mo u s with a
total sacrifice of one' s comf or t . So me years ago I r ead t he p r o ­
c e e d i n g s of a c o n f e r e n c e o f c o m m u n i t y activists in Nova Scotia.
O n e o f t he s peaker s, who ha d s pe nt ma n y years on the f r ont
lines of social act i on a nd v o l u n t e e r i s m, said, "The gr e a t e s t c o n ­
t r i b u t i o n you can ma k e to the p o o r is by not b e c o m i n g one of
t h e m. " This s t a t e me n t may s e e m ha r s h, but out of my own ex­
p e r i e n c e it st ruck me , in pa r t at least, as havi ng the r i ng of
t r ut h. FCE, for i ns t a nc e , has b e e n able to do its p e a c e m a k i n g
a nd pover t y wor k only b e c a u s e it is a fi nanci al l y sol vent n o n ­
pr of i t o r g a ni z a t i on.
Whi l e t he r e ' s no vi rt ue pe r se in abj ect poverty, t h e r e is t he
real q u e s t i o n o f w h e t h e r gr e a t we a l t h simply c ons t i t ut e s gr eed.
It d e p e n d s , of c our s e , on how t ha t mo n e y is spent. T h e r e is
mo r e t ha n a gr ai n of t r u t h in the saying t hat mo n e y is t he r oot
of all evil. But t he flip side is equal l y c o mp e l l i n g . Gi ven t hat c a p ­
ital can also be used to do good, a ma n n a m e d L e o n a r d Or r
onc e s ugge s t e d t hat mo n e y can be vi ewed as "God in ci r cul a­
tion."
But w h e n is e n o u g h mo n e y e n o u g h ? Th os e i n t e n t on m a k ­
ing mone y, or on k e e p i n g wh a t t hey have al r eady m a d e , mi g h t
be i nc l i ne d to answer, "Never." In my view, m o n e y is the me a n s
to an e nd, not t he e n d in itself. A n d i f t ha t e n d is to do good,
agai n t h e r e may ne ve r be e n o u g h money. In any case, the ques-
 225

t i on s e l d o m arises unl ess t h e r e is "not e n o u g h " a n d deci si ons

mu s t be m a d e c o n c e r n i n g wh a t to do a b o u t it.
It is oft en r e c o g n i z e d t hat mo n e y is p e r h a p s m o r e likely to
be e nsl avi ng t h a n l i ber at i ng. Mo n e y is a s educt i ve mistress. In
In Search o f Stones, I wr ot e t hat I wor r y far m o r e a b o u t mo n e y
t h a n I used to w h e n we d i d n ' t have m u c h of it. S o me of this
wor r y is a p p r o p r i a t e . "A fool a nd his mo n e y are soon pa r t e d. "
But I have also wo r r i e d a b o u t mo n e y m o r e t h a n necessar y, and
in i n a p p r o p r i a t e ways t hat c oul d easily b e c o m e an obsessi on.
C o u n t i n g up the n u m b e r s can cer t ai nl y he l p relieve our a nxi ­
eties a b o u t t he fut ur e. But it can also lead to false p r i de a nd self­
satisfaction, as i f mo n e y we r e t he m e a s u r e o f our wor t h.
I am p e r h a p s m o r e p r o n e to this obs e s s i on t h a n most.
B o r n in May 1936, I am very m u c h a D e p r e s s i o n baby. T h r o u g h ­
out o u r Pa r k A v e n u e c h i l d h o o d s , my f at her wo u l d not only ex­
p o u n d to my b r o t h e r a nd me , "You boys have got to l ear n t he
value of a dollar," but also r e p e a t e d l y pr o c l a i m, "We' r e goi ng to
t he p o o r h o u s e . " Pa r t of me k n e w at t he t i me t ha t this was l a u g h ­
able. Howe ve r , it sank in. As an a d o l e s c e n t , w h e n I t ook my
dat es to di nne r , I wo u l d sit in silent a n g u i s h if t hey o r d e r e d any­
t h i n g o t h e r t h a n one of t he least e xpe ns i ve e nt r e e s . I was able
to get over that, but for ma n y years after ge t t i ng ma r r i e d and
ha vi ng c h i l d r e n I wo r r i e d we mi g h t e nd up goi ng to the poor -
hous e . W h a t i f I ha d a st roke a nd c o u l d n ' t work? Wh a t i f we got
sued? Wh a t i f t he b o t t o m fell out of t he stock ma r k e t ? W h a t if
i nf l at i on r an r a mp a n t ? W h a t if? W h a t if?
In ma ny mi n d s , mo n e y a nd securi t y are e qui val ent s . But
c o m p l e t e security is an illusion. Life is an i n h e r e n t l y i n s e c ur e
busi ness. At a very early age, I was g r a n t e d a r evel at i on t hat the
only real security in life lies in r e l i s hi ng life's insecurity. I have
p r e a c h e d this r evel at i on ever since, yet to this day I c o n t i n u e to
n e e d to r e l e a r n it. Mo n e y is a ki nd of security, and t h e r e can
ne ve r be e n o u g h — at least, not w h e n we are c h a s i ng after the il­
l usi on of total security.
I k n o w per f ect l y well t ha t t hos e very we a l t hy p e o p l e who
ne ve r give away a n y t h i n g have b e e n d a m n e d to chase after t hat
226

e mp t y illusion. I k n o w be c a us e a pa r t of t h e m is in me. I may

not have fallen pr ey as c o mp l e t e l y as t hey to t he i dol at r y of
mone y, but t he fact r e ma i n s t hat n o t h i n g c o n t i n u e s to i nt e r f e r e
m o r e with my pr a ye r life t h a n c o n c e r n s a b o u t my i n c o m e , in­
ve s t me nt s , a nd b o o k sales. So me spiritual wr i t er s have di a g­
nos e d t he h u m a n r ace as suffering f r om a "psychol ogy of
scarcity"; t hey ur ge us to a "psychol ogy o f a b u n d a n c e " — a sense
t hat t h e r e will always be e n o u g h a nd t ha t God will pl entifully
pr ovi de. I believe in this t e a c hi ng. It's j u s t t hat as a D e p r e s s i o n
baby I ' m ha r d pr e s s e d to follow it, try as I mi ght .
W h a t truly c ons t i t ut e s weal t h? In wor l dl y t e r ms , it is t he
poss e s s i on o f mo n e y a nd va l uabl e t hi ngs. But i f we we r e to m e a ­
sure we a l t h in o t h e r ways, besi des me r e dol l ars, ma n y wh o are
p o o r in pos s es s i ons are spiritually rich, a nd ma n y who own
m u c h are spiritually i mp o v e r i s h e d . F r o m a ps yc hos pi r i t ua l p e r ­
spective, the truly we a l t hy are t hose wh o have an o n g o i n g rel a­
t i o n s h i p with God a nd have l e a r n e d t hat by giving of t he ms e l ve s
t hey also recei ve mu c h .
W h e t h e r we are bl essed wi t h gifts of t he spirit or wor l dl y
we a l t h or bot h, d e m a n d s a c c o m p a n y t hose blessings. We have
h e a r d it said t hat f r om the on e to w h o m m u c h is gi ven (in the
way o f t al ent , mone y, or o t h e r r e s our c e s ) m u c h is e xpe c t e d.
Thus , on e of t he gr e a t e s t d i l e m m a s for t hos e who have a c c u ­
m u l a t e d any m e a s u r e o f we a l t h is the de c i s i on w h e t h e r — a nd to
wha t e x t e n t —t he y s h o u l d shar e t hat we a l t h to benef i t ot her s.
W h e n s h o u l d t hose with mo n e y start giving it away? Th e r e ' s no
clear f or mul a , of cour se. But wh a t is cl ear to me is that, as with
power , t he real p u r p o s e of ha vi ng mo n e y is to shar e it with o t h ­
ers. Too m u c h mone y, like too m u c h power , poses a d a n g e r for
society as well as for t he i ndi vi dual wh o ke e ps it for h i ms e l f i n­
stead of giving it away.

A PERSONAL CASE STUDY

Lily a nd I did truly e xt ensi ve v o l u n t e e r wor k in our late mi d d l e

years, f r om r o u ghl y t he e nd of 1984 to t he e n d o f 1995. Ou r
 227

ability to de vot e so m u c h of our t i me a n d o t h e r r e s o u r c e s c a me

on t he heel s of t he c o mme r c i a l success of The Road Less Trav­
eled. A n d in 1984, t he s e c o n d year we e a r n e d significantly mo r e
t h a n we n e e d e d , we b e g a n l o o k i n g at wh e r e we coul d v o l u n t e e r
o ur t i me or c o n t r i b u t e mo n e y to an i m p o r t a n t cause. The cause
t ha t c a p t u r e d o ur i nt e r e s t a bove all ot he r s was pe a c e , a nd Lily
a nd I b e g a n to talk a b o u t st ar t i ng a f o u n d a t i o n of s ome sort.
For a few m o n t h s we t oyed wi t h t he n o t i o n of es t a bl i s hi ng s o m e ­
t h i n g t hat wo u l d br i n g t o g e t h e r t he fi ve h u n d r e d or so differ­
ent p e a c e or ga ni z a t i ons . But the mo r e we c o n s i d e r e d it, t he
mo r e likely it s e e me d t ha t w h a t e v e r we mi g h t set up wo u l d j u s t
b e c o m e t he 501st p e a c e gr oup.
Gr adual l y, we c a me to realize t ha t c o m m u n i t y ma k i n g was
m o r e f u n d a m e n t a l t h a n p e a c e —t ha t , in fact, c o m m u n i t y m a k ­
ing mu s t p r e c e d e pe ace. So in D e c e m b e r 1984, in c o n j u n c t i o n
wi t h n i ne ot h e r s , we est a bl i s he d the F o u n d a t i o n for C o m m u ­
nity E n c o u r a g e m e n t . FCE is a t a x - e x e mp t , non p r o f i t , publ i c-
e d u c a t i o n f o u n d a t i o n wh o s e mi ssi on is to t e a c h t he pr i nc i pl e s
of c o m m u n i t y —t h a t is, the pr i nc i pl e s o f he a l t hy c o m m u n i c a ­
t i on wi t hi n a nd b e t w e e n g r oups . The s t a t e me n t o f its f o u n d i n g
vision reads:

T h e r e is a y e a r n i n g in the h e a r t for peace. Be c a us e of

t he w o u n d s — t he r e j e c t i o n s —we have r ecei ved in past
r e l a t i ons hi ps , we are f r i g h t e n e d by t he risks. In our
fear, we d i s c o u n t t he d r e a m o f a u t h e n t i c c o m m u n i t y
as me r e l y visionary. But t h e r e are rules by w h i c h p e o ­
ple can c o me ba c k t oge t he r , by whi c h the old w o u n d s
are he a l e d. It is t he mi s s i on of t he F o u n d a t i o n for
C o m m u n i t y E n c o u r a g e m e n t to t e a c h t he s e r u l e s —to
ma k e h o p e real a g a i n —to ma k e t he vision actually
ma ni f e s t in a wor l d whi c h has a l mos t f o r got t e n the
glory of wh a t it me a n s to be h u m a n .

In The Different Drum ( subt i t l ed Community Making and

Peace to signify t he p r o g r e s s i o n ) , I e x p o u n d e d on t he val ue of
c o m m u n i t y ma k i n g as t he cruci al p r e c u r s o r to pe a c e . C o m m u -
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nity b u i l d i n g he l ps r e mo v e bar r i er s to c o m m u n i c a t i o n , such as

t he s mu g n e s s ma n y p e o p l e start out with b e c a u s e o f t he i r j o b ti­
tles, i n c o m e , d e g r e e s , a nd r el i gi ous, cul t ur al , a nd racial i d e n t i ­
ties. W h e n t he s e ba r r i e r s c o me d o wn t h r o u g h t he l e a r n i n g of
e mp t i n e s s , we e x p e r i e n c e a t e m p o r a r y state o f c o n s c i o u s n e s s in
whi c h the mi n d is ut t er l y o p e n a nd r ec e pt i ve a nd t h e r e f o r e t o ­
tally alert. It is t h r o u g h this pr ocess t hat we also allow r o o m for
h e a l i n g — and even mi r acl es of a s o r t —to occur. C o m m u n i t y
b u i l d i n g hel ps cut t h r o u g h p e o p l e ' s s ophi s t i c a t i on to get to the
h e a r t o f t hei r i n n o c e n c e . It e n c o u r a g e s p e o p l e to p r o f o u n d l y
e x a m i n e t he i r mot i ves, feelings, j u d g m e n t s , a nd r e a c t i ons , and
h e n c e it e x p a n d s t he c ons c i o u s n e s s of self a nd ul t i mat el y c o n ­
sci ousness of ot her s.
For t hos e el even years, Lily a nd I v o l u n t e e r e d r o u ghl y a
t hi r d of o ur i n c o m e a n d a t hi r d of our t i me to w o r k i n g with
FCE. We e ach s p e n t a b o u t t went y h o u r s a we e k w o r k i n g on b e ­
ha l f of t he o r g a ni z a t i on. Be i ng pa r t of FCE was very m u c h like
havi ng c hi l dr e n. We ne ve r d r e a m e d o f h o w m u c h wor k it woul d
be. We also ne ve r d r e a m e d o f h o w m u c h we woul d gai n and
l ear n f r om it.
As I wr ot e in In Search o f Stones, w h e n we s t ar t ed FCE we
we r e a b u n c h of d o - g o o d e r s who d i d n ' t k n o w a n y t h i n g a b o u t
how to do g o o d by r u n n i n g a n o n p r o f i t o r g a ni z a t i on. Ha d you
asked me ba c k t h e n wha t strategic p l a n n i n g was, I mi g h t have
t old you it was p r o b a b l y s o m e t h i n g t hey did over at the P e n t a ­
gon. In par t i cul ar , we had no i dea h o w to r un a busi ne s s , whi c h
a n o n p r o f i t o r g a n i z a t i o n , every bit as m u c h as a pr of i t - ma ki ng
one , mu s t be if it is to be successful. Aga i n, we we r e o p e r a t i n g
in t he dark. I ha d to learn. We ha d to lear n. We ha d to l ear n not
only a b o u t strategic p l a n n i n g but all a b o u t ma r k e t i n g , c on f e r ­
e nc e c o o r d i n a t i n g , m a n a g e m e n t o f v o l u n t e e r s , ups i z i ng and
downs i z i ng, f und- r ai s i ng a nd d e v e l o p m e n t , c o m p u t e r systems
and ma i l i ng lists, mi s s i on a nd vision s t a t e me n t s , a c c o u n t i n g
p r o c e d u r e s , a nd so on. We also had to l ear n even mo r e i m p o r ­
t a nt t hi ngs, such as h o w bi gge r isn' t necessar i l y better, h o w to
c o o r d i n a t e , a nd how to clarify roles a n d p o we r issues.
Most o f wh a t we l e a r n e d in t hos e d o z e n years c a me as a re-
 229

suit of w o r k i n g wi t h ma ny ot h e r s in t he m a n a g e m e n t of FCE,
a nd it has oft en b e e n painful l e a r ni ng. At one p o i n t or a not he r ,
we have m a d e a l mo s t every ma n a g e r i a l mi s t a ke in t he book. I
have al r eady m e n t i o n e d h o w far a nd away t he mos t a g o n i z i n g
f i nanci al de c i s i on we have ever ha d to ma k e was not in r e ga r d
to our p e r s o n a l f i na nc e s but in r e g a r d to this c ha r i t a bl e o r g a n i ­
zation. FCE was hit devast at i ngl y ha r d by t he 1990- 92 r ecessi on,
a nd survi ved only b e c a us e , over t he c our s e of six m o n t h s , we r e ­
d u c e d its a n n u a l b u d g e t f r om $750, 000 to $250, 000 t h r o u g h
" d o w n s i z i n g " —t hat e u p h e m i s m for laying off c o m p e t e n t e m ­
ployees.
As a WASP wh o gr ew up wi t h cer t ai n i ns t r uc t i ons for how
to c o n d u c t one ' s life with at least a m o d i c u m of dignity, the
h a r d e s t t h i n g I ha d to do for FCE was raise f unds. I ha d b e e n
t a u g h t ne ve r to beg. Aft er t h r e e years of d o i n g so, I e xpr e s s e d
my a gony a nd f r us t r a t i on in a 1987 p o e m e nt i t l e d "A Be gga r ' s
Life ( Conf e s s i ons of a Fund- r a i s e r ) " :

I beg
Pr owl i ng t he streets,
St al ki ng for targets.
Do I ever even see
The faces a n y mo r e ?
Or j u s t t he clothes?

By t he cl ot hes I j u d g e t he m.
Th a t on e l ooks poor. He l ooks di shevel ed. She
Looks or di nar y. Th a t on e l ooks i n c o n s e q u e n t i a l .
Ah, but this o n e !
This on e l ooks wealthy.
This on e l ooks subst ant i al .
This one l ooks infl uent i al .
I move in for t he kill, and
Am b r u s h e d aside.

Am I not like t h e m all,

L o o k i n g for a b e t t e r life?
The p r o b l e m , you see, is t hat I am not
230

A g o o d beggar.
I pr owl endlessly, yet at n i g h t
Sink i nt o f l o p h o u s e d r e a ms ,
No t even k n o wi n g if I will be able
To ma k e ne x t week' s rent.

I wonder :
Wo u l d I not do bet t er, we r e I to l ook at
Th e i r faces?

I have c ol l e a gue s
In this pr of essi on. Mos t
Tell me I am r i ght to not l ook
At t he faces. The y have t he same
Ca t e g o r i e s of cl ot hes
As I, yet s ome s e e m mo r e successful, and
I w o n d e r why?

Do t hey l ook
At t he faces? A few say
Yes,
F r o m t he faces you can see t he guilt
An d pr ey u p o n it.

I c a n n o t play
Th a t trick. It is not
Th a t I am mor a l . It is t hat I mi g h t
Also see t he i r n e e d , a nd t h e n h o w woul d I kn o w
Wh o is who,
Wh o the beggar , a nd w h e t h e r I,
Wi t h such l i mi t ed r e s our c e s ,
Am not the on e cal l ed to give?

Li mi t e d r e s our c e s ,
That ' s t he p r o b l e m. Ca n ' t s pr e a d your s e l f
Too t hi n, t hey say, a nd t hat ' s t he t rut h.
I ca n' t go d o wn all t he streets
At all ho u r s and, certainly,
 231

I c a n' t l ook into

All the faces.

But I d o n ' t do well.

So me days, I also w o n d e r
I f I wo u l d n o t do b e t t e r j u s t s t a n d i n g still.
I have a fr i end, a bl i nd ma n ,
W h o does real well.
H e j u s t sits t he r e ,
N o t ha vi ng to move ,
Wi t h his scar r ed eyes all rol l ed up,
A n d t hey give a nd give.

But t hey w o u l d n ' t give to me ,

Wo u l d they,
Just for b e i n g t her e?

A n d I d o n ' t have t he c o u r a g e
To g o u g e out my eyes
Eve n t h o u g h I w o u l d n ' t have to wor r y
A b o u t ma k i n g all t hose c hoi ces
An d l o o k i n g at t he faces
A n y mo r e .

So I k e e p mo v i n g al ong,
Tryi ng to l ook at j u s t t he cl ot hes,
Hu s t l i n g as best I can,
But I d o n ' t do well.
It's a be gga r ' s life.

Th a t was t he do wn s i d e . I c o u l d n ' t have d o n e it wi t h o u t the

ups i de . For one t hi ng, I k n e w t hat b e g g i n g was h o n o r e d in
ma n y r el i gi ons a nd t hat t he h u mi l i a t i o n o f it all coul d be
l o o k e d u p o n as a spiritual di sci pl i ne. Cer t ai nl y I bel i eve it was
f o r t u n a t e for me t hat at t he very t i me I c oul d be g i n to sit back
a nd rely u p o n my por t f ol i o o f stocks a nd b o n d s , Go d h a p p e n e d
to p u t me in a p os i t i on wh e r e I ha d to rely on the p r o v i d e n c e of
ot her s. A n d t h e n t h e r e was the ma t t e r o f ma k i n g ne w a nd good
232

friends. It is ha r d not to love s o m e o n e who gives you mo n e y for

a cause you bel i eve to be worthy. A n d strangely, l arge d o n a t i o n s
oft en s e e me d to c o me w h e n we mos t n e e d e d but least e x p e c t e d
t h e m, as if t hey we r e ma n i f e s t a t i ons of gr ace.
It can be e i t he r very easy or very difficult to give away
money. Jul i us Ro s e n wa l d , the e n t r e p r e n e u r i a l ge ni us b e h i n d
Sears, R o e b u c k and f o u n d e r o f t he Jul i us Ro s e n wa l d F u n d ,
onc e de c l a r e d: "It is a l mos t always easier to ma k e a mi l l i on dol ­
lars hone s t l y t h a n to di spose of it wisely." A n u m b e r of FCE' s
small d o n o r s a nd a few of its large ones simply said, "He r e ' s my
check. It see ms as i f y o u ' r e d o i n g g o o d wor k a nd we ' d like to
hel p you out, but t hat ' s as far as we wa nt to get involved. " We
we r e very grateful to t h e m. But ot he r s who d o n a t e d l arge sums
of mo n e y s o me t i me s felt it was i n c u m b e n t u p o n t h e m to see
t ha t it was m a n a g e d well. Th a t m e a n t a f u r t h e r i n v e s t me n t of
t he i r t i me, a nd so ma d e it mo r e difficult to give away mo n e y
t h a n to ma k e it. Even so, it may also have b e e n mo r e e m o t i o n ­
ally r e w a r d i n g —as it was for Lily a nd me.
Ma n y have given FCE h u n d r e d s of t h o u s a n d s of dol l ar s,
b u t j u s t as i mp o r t a n t , ma n y have also gi ven it t hei r t i me. Cu r ­
rent l y FCE has only f our full-time e mp l oye e s . Yet its i n f l ue nc e is
gr e a t e r t h a n ever b e c a u s e a h u n d r e d p e o p l e have v o l u n t e e r e d
t he t i me. V o l u n t e e r i n g is ha r d wor k. Be c a us e t hey are not pai d,
ma n y wh o v o l u n t e e r a s s u me t ha t t hey can j u s t show up w h e n ­
ever t hey wa n t to, but tr ue v o l u n t e e r i s m d e m a n d s m u c h mor e .
T h o s e who d e p e n d on v o l u n t e e r s to he l p t he i r or ga n i z a t i o n s
s uc c e e d oft en find t hat the cent r al p r o b l e m is ge t t i ng a c o m ­
m i t m e n t f r om t h e m. Ove r the year s, o ur o r g a n i z a t i o n has b e e n
bl essed with an a r my of fully c o m m i t t e d vol unt e e r s .
In h i n ds i ght , it see ms to me t hat FCE has survived a nd is
c ur r e nt l y f l our i s hi ng t h a n k s to t he ha r d wor k of t hese c o m m i t ­
ted v o l u n t e e r s a nd be c a u s e of its i nt egr i t y as an or ga ni z a t i on.
Whi l e we m a d e every possi bl e mi s t a ke , we di d so wi t h integrity,
and s o m e h o w t ha t s e e m e d to save the mi st akes f r om be i n g total
disasters. To act wi t h i nt egr i t y also m e a n t t ha t we had to i nt e ­
gr at e good busi ness pr i nc i pl e s wi t h o ur pr i nc i pl e s of c o m m u ­
 233

nity. Th a t was not c heapl y a c hi eved. It r e q u i r e d t hat we l ear n

still mo r e a b o u t m a n a g e m e n t a nd t he n a t u r e o f o r ga ni z a t i ona l
c ul t ur e and c o n s e n s u a l deci s i on m a k i n g — a nd l ear n mo r e
de e pl y a b o u t c o m m u n i t y itself. O n e o f our i nf or ma l mo t t o s b e ­
c a me "FCE goes dee pe r . " So we v e n t u r e d ever f ur t he r i nto the
d e p t h s of wh a t c o m m u n i t y is all a b o u t wi t hi n the f r a me wo r k of
our own o r g a n i z a t i o n , di s c ove r i ng for our sel ves b o t h t he p r o ­
f o u n d l i mi t a t i ons a nd equal l y p r o f o u n d virtues of c o m m u n i t y
in the wor kpl a c e .
It was g o o d t ha t we did so. W h e n we st ar t ed FCE, t he m a r ­
ket for c o m m u n i t y b u i l d i n g was t hat pa r t of the ge n e r a l publ i c
i n t e r e s t e d in a t e mp o r a r y , i ndi vi dual e x p e r i e n c e of pe r s ona l
gr owt h. Gr adual l y, however , as m o r e p e o p l e ha d the e x p e r i e n c e
o f c o mmu n i t y , the p r i ma r y m a r k e t b e c a m e o r g a n i z a t i o n s t hat
s o u g h t g r e a t e r effectiveness a nd creativity. We we r e able to
me e t this g r owi ng d e m a n d with i nt egr i t y only b e c a u s e we k ne w
s o m e t h i n g a b o u t the c o mp l e xi t i e s o f i n t e g r a t i n g c o m m u n i t y
pr i nc i pl e s wi t h busi ness o p e r a t i o n s — and t ha t was largely a r e ­
sult of havi ng p r a c t i c e d on oursel ves.
Mo r e t h a n a n y t h i n g else, wh a t I've l e a r n e d t h r o u g h FCE is
a vastly i n c r e a s e d a wa r e ne s s of how di f f er ent p e o p l e a r e —and
h o w we n e e d t hos e di f f er ences. In A World Waiting to Be Born, I
wr ot e t ha t years bef or e FCE on e of my first t e a c h e r s in this
r e a l m was a d e c a d e y o u n g e r t h a n I. P e t e r was a y o u n g enl i st ed
ma n , a "psych t ech" who ser ved u n d e r me in Oki na wa . W h e n I
ar r i ved at my ne w a s s i g n me n t , I f o u n d t h e r e we r e not near l y
e n o u g h t r a i n e d p s y c h o t h e r a p i s t s to m e e t t he d e m a n d ; yet a
d o z e n o f t hese t went y-year-ol d t echs we r e sitting a r o u n d with
little or n o t h i n g to do. So I told t h e m to start d o i n g psy­
c h o t h e r a p y a nd I woul d pr ovi de t h e m wi t h on- t he- j ob t r ai ni ng.
It was qui ckl y a p p a r e n t t hat ha l f we r e not up to t h e j o b , a nd I
set t h e m to o t h e r tasks. But six ha d a na t ur a l t al ent for t he role.
O n e was Peter. For two years he served wi t h di s t i nc t i on as a
t her api st . T h e n his e n l i s t me n t was up a nd it was t i me for hi m to
r e t u r n h o m e to t he U n i t e d States. As we we r e saying good- bye ,
I a sked hi m a b o u t his pl ans a nd was a gha s t w h e n he told me he
234

i n t e n d e d to start a mi l k d i s t r i b u t i o n busi ness. "But y o u ' r e a fine

p s yc hot he r a pi s t , " I e x c l a i me d. "I coul d he l p you get int o a g ood
ma s t e r ' s p r o g r a m. The G.I. Bill wo u l d pay for it."
"No, t h a n k s , my pl ans are set," P e t e r f i r ml y r epl i ed. But I
per si st ed, o u t l i n i n g all the a d v a nt a ge s of a c a r e e r as a pr a c t i c i ng
p s y c hot he r a pi s t . Finally, wi t h an u n d e r s t a n d a b l e e dge to his
voice, Pe t e r si l enced me by saying, "Look, Scotty, c a n' t you get
it i nt o yo u r h e a d t ha t not e ve r y o n e is like you, t hat not e ve r yone
with t he o p p o r t u n i t y wants to be a ps y c h o t h e r a p i s t ? "
As well as i l l ust r at i ng my own nar ci ssi sm, t he story d e m o n ­
strates t hat p e o p l e who have a t a l e nt for s o m e t h i n g d o n ' t t h e r e ­
fore necessar i l y have a voc a t i on for it. Secul ar vocat i onal
c o u n s e l o r s k n o w t he best o c c u p a t i o n s for p e o p l e are t hos e in
whi c h t hei r a p t i t u d e a nd i nt e r e s t c oi nc i de . But God is g e n e r o u s
to ma n y a nd best ows on t h e m mu l t i pl e gi f t s —interests as well as
talents. The p a t t e r n of such gifts, however , is always u n i q u e to
t he i ndi vi dual . Ea c h of us is c r e a t e d differently. I have gifts t hat
you do not have. You have gifts t ha t I do not have. A n d this is
why we n e e d e a c h other.
O u r c o m m o n narcissistic failure to a p p r e c i a t e t he s e p a r a t e ­
ness, t he di f f e r e nt ne s s , of ot he r s bedevi l s bus i nes s life every bit
as m u c h as it does our family a nd p e r s o n a l lives. Le t me give you
an e x a mp l e of the s a me sick d y n a m i c —t he failure to a p p r e c i a t e
diversity a m o n g us — at wor k in an even l a r ge r set t i ng, c r e a t i ng
a hat eful a nd dest r uct i ve schi sm wi t hi n an e nt i r e pr of essi on. I
was t ent at i vel y a sked s ome time ago to c ons ul t a b o u t a conf l i ct
b e t w e e n t he two g o v e r n i n g bodi e s of one o f Ame r i c a ' s me di c a l
specialties. Th e " Ame r i c a n Col l e ge " pr i ma r i l y r e p r e s e n t e d the
p r a c t i t i one r s in t he f i el d, whi l e the " Ame r i c a n A c a d e my " pr i ­
mari l y r e p r e s e n t e d its r e s e a r c h e r s . The m e m b e r s o f bo t h
g r o u p s we r e hi ghl y i nt el l i gent , e x t r e me l y we l l - e duc a t e d, and
s u p p os e dl y civilized physi ci ans. Yet for over a d e c a d e t he r el a­
t i o n s h i p b e t w e e n t hese "sister" o r g a n i z a t i o n s ha d gr adual l y
b e e n d e g e n e r a t i n g i nto e x t r e me incivility.
I quickly l e a r n e d t hat t he pr a c t i c e of this specialty, on the
f r ont i er s of m e d i c i n e , was m u c h mo r e an art t h a n a science.
T h o s e who b e l o n g e d to t he Col l ege wer e t r e a t i ng pa t i e nt s on
 235

t he f r ont lines a n d ha d to o p e r a t e most l y by gue s s wor k a nd in­

t ui t i on. It was no a c c i de nt , t h e r e f o r e , t ha t t hey wer e m e n and
w o m e n not only a c c u s t o m e d to a mb i g u i t y but actually exci t ed
by it. On the o t h e r h a n d , like all scientific r e s e a r c h, me di c a l r e­
s ear ch r e q u i r e s e x t r e m e p r e c i s i on a nd clarity. By virtue o f t he
g r o u n d - b r e a k i n g n a t u r e o f t he specialty, it r e q u i r e d e xact nes s
even mo r e s t r i ngent l y t h a n o t h e r f i el ds . Co n s e q u e n t l y , t he
m e m b e r s o f t he A c a d e m y we r e w o m e n a nd m e n wh o ha t e d
v a g ue ne s s a n d r e g a r d e d a mb i g u i t y as t he i r enemy.
Af t er j u s t two p h o n e calls, I was abl e to a s cer t ai n t ha t the
ma j or s our c e o f conf l i ct b e t w e e n t he two o r g a n i z a t i o n s was t he
di f f er ence in the pe r s ona l i t i e s o f t hei r m e m b e r s . This e x t e n d e d
even to t he i r c o m m u n i c a t i o n styles, whi c h, b e y o n d any ma t t e r
o f s ubs t a nc e , s e e m e d a l mos t d e s i g n e d to a n t a g o n i z e ea c h
other. Fai l i ng even to a c k n o w l e d g e t he i r di f f er ent p r e d o m i n a n t
pe r s ona l i t y t y p e s — mu c h less a p p r e c i a t e t he n e e d for t h e m —
e ach body ha d c o me to a s s u me t ha t the ot h e r ' s hostility was m a ­
licious in i nt ent . Unf o r t u n a t e l y , b o t h m a d e t he de c i s i on not to
p u r s u e r e c onc i l i a t i on. O n c e h o o k e d on conflict, ma n y o r g a n i ­
zat i ons, like i ndi vi dual s, woul d r a t h e r fi ght t h a n switch.
Ha d t hese s e pa r a t e or ga n i z a t i o n a l bodi e s b e e n wi lling to
p r o c e e d wi t h the c o n s u l t a t i o n , t hey wo u l d have di s c ove r e d t ha t
we n o w possess a di st i nct e d u c a t i o n a l "t e c hnol ogy" to heal such
u n n e c e s s a r y o r g a n i z a t i o n a l conflicts. Thi s, wh i c h we call c o m ­
mu n i t y - b u i l d i n g t e c hnol ogy, is a system o f g r o u p l e a r n i n g t e c h ­
ni q u e s t hat cut t h r o u g h p e o p l e ' s ever yday nar ci ssi sm, al l owi ng
t h e m not only to see one a n o t h e r ' s di f f er ences but also to ac­
c e pt t h e m. It is not pai nl ess l e a r ni ng, but it is effective.
T h r o u g h it p e o p l e actually e x p e r i e n c e t he i r mu t u a l i n t e r d e ­
p e n d e n c e on on e a n o t h e r ' s gifts. The y l ear n in t he i r hear t s
wh a t t he Apos t l e Paul m e a n t by "mystical body" w h e n he said:

N o w t he r e are diversities of gifts, but the same Spi r i t . .. .

For to on e is given by t he Spirit t he wor d o f wi s dom; to
a n o t h e r t he wo r d o f k n o w l e d g e by t he s a me Spirit; to
a n o t h e r faith by t he s a me Spirit; to a n o t h e r t he gifts of
he a l i n g by t he same Spirit; to a n o t h e r t he w o r k i n g of
236

mi r acl es; to a n o t h e r p r o p h e c y ; to a n o t h e r d i s c e r n i n g
of spirits; to a n o t h e r divers ki nds of t o n g u e s ; to a n­
o t h e r t he i n t e r p r e t a t i o n o f t o n g u e s . . . . As t he body is
one , a nd ha t h ma n y m e m b e r s , a nd all t he m e m b e r s of
t ha t o ne body, be i n g many, are one body. . . the body
is not one m e m b e r , but many.
I f the f oot shall say Be c a u s e I am not t he h a n d , I
am not of t he body; is it t h e r e f o r e not of t he body?
A n d if the ear shall say, Be c a u s e I am not the eye, I am
not of t he body; is it t h e r e f o r e not of the body? I f the
wh o l e body wer e an eye, wh e r e we r e the he a r i n g ? I f
t he wh o l e we r e h e a r i n g , w h e r e wer e t he smel l i ng? But
now ha t h God set the m e m b e r s o f every on e o f t h e m
in t he body, as i t h a t h pl e a s e d hi m. An d if t h e y we r e all
one m e m b e r , w h e r e wer e the body?.. . A n d t he eye
c a n n o t say u n t o t he h a n d , I have no n e e d o f t hee: nor
aga i n t he h e a d to t he feet, I have no n e e d of you. .. .
But God ha t h t e m p e r e d t he body t oge t he r , havi ng
gi ven mo r e a b u n d a n t h o n o r to t hat pa r t whi c h lacked:
Th a t t h e r e s houl d be no schi sm in the body; but t hat
t he m e m b e r s s h o u l d have t he same care on e for a n­
other. A n d w h e t h e r one m e m b e r suffer, all t he m e m ­
bers suffer with it; or on e m e m b e r be h o n o r e d , all the
m e m b e r s rejoice wi t h it.

Is it an a c c i de nt , do you s u p p o s e , t ha t we h u m a n s are c r e ­
at ed in such variety a nd called in so ma n y d i v e r g e n t ways? H o w
else coul d t h e r e be a society? We, t he collective race, t he body
o f h u ma n i t y , n e e d o ur p r a c t i c i ng physi ci ans a nd r e s e a r c h e r s ,
o ur e xecut i ve a nd legislative b r a n c h e s , our m a r k e t e r s a nd sales­
p e o p l e , o ur f a r me r s a nd s t eel wor ker s , priests a nd p l u m b e r s , a u­
t hor s a nd p u b l i s he r s , at hl et es a nd e n t e r t a i n e r s , p r o p h e t s and
b u r e a u c r a t s . Yes, occasi onal l y t he t h r e a d s may b e c o m e a bit u n ­
ravel ed, but wh a t a wo n d e r f u l l y va r i e ga t e d fabric we are!
Th a t is t he l esson we l e a r n e d t h r o u g h our wor k at FCE. But
for all t hat Lily a nd I have given, we have r ecei ved even mo r e in
r e t ur n. We have g a i n e d f r i ends a m o n g a gl obal c o m m u n i t y and
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a ma s s e d a gr e a t deal o f new k n o w l e d g e a b o u t our sel ves and

ot her s. W i t h o u t F C E —as wi t h o u t our c h i l d r e n —I wo u l d be a
very st upi d man.
N o w t ha t Lily a nd I are e n t e r i n g old age, we have largely r e­
t i red f r om FCE and o t h e r activities t hat we r e on c e pa r t o f our
r out i ne . But t he l e a r n i n g c o n t i n u e s —i n c l u d i n g t ha t o f l e a r n i n g
h o w to r et i r e gracefully. Actually, f r om the start our i n t e n t was
to wor k t owa r d h e l p i n g FCE b e c o m e i n d e p e n d e n t o f us. We
we r e keenl y awar e of a nd c o n c e r n e d a b o u t wh a t t e nds to h a p ­
pe n w h e n i ndi vi dual s bui l d o r g a n i z a t i o n s a nd l at er leave t he m.
T h e r e are count l e s s e x a mp l e s of successful "evangelists" who
st ar t ed o r g a n i z a t i o n s only to have a st roke or c o m m i t an i ndi s­
c r e t i on, wi t h t he resul t t ha t t hei r c h u r c h e s or t h e m e par ks col ­
lapsed. O u r goal was to avoid t hat at FCE. So we have h a n d e d
over t he rei ns, e n c o u r a g i n g ot he r s to be i n d e p e n d e n t o f us, giv­
ing up our p o we r to e m p o w e r ot he r s wh o are i n d e e d qui t e ca­
pa bl e o f c a r r yi ng on FCE' s mi ssi on.
My f a t he r d i d n ' t ret i re until f or ced to do so by a d v a n c e d
age — he was in his e i g h t i e s —so it has s e e me d st r a nge to br e a k
f r om t he t r a di t i on o f my u p b r i n g i n g t hat on e mu s t die in the
saddl e. But I've l e a r n e d t hat t h e r e is n o t h i n g w r o n g wi t h d o i n g
t hi ngs differently. In fact, a f o u n d i n g FCE b o a r d m e m b e r , J a n ­
ice Bar f i el d, was a ma j or role mo d e l for me in this way. She said
God was tel l i ng her to ret i r e, a nd she did so with gr ace after
ser vi ng ei ght years. T h r o u g h he r l e a d e r s h i p she gave me p e r ­
mi ssi on to follow he r f oot st eps after el even. Th e de c i s i on to r e ­
tire is a p e r s ona l c hoi c e a n d we e ach mu s t follow o ur own pat h.
I believe t hat I have b e e n gi ven t he g r e e n light f r om God
to refrai n f r om t a ki ng on any ma j or r e sponsi bi l i t y b e y o n d my
o n g o i n g wr i t i ng pr oj ect s. Si nce I've b e e n a r e s ponsi bi l i t y- ahol i c
all my life, this was not a s i mpl e step to take. I ha d to l ear n to say
no a nd e n c o u r a g e ot he r s to a s s u me t he r esponsi bi l i t i es t hat I
no l o n g e r felt able to accept . Play has t a k e n on a far mo r e i m­
p o r t a n t role in my life. But it feels r i ght to me — a n d even seems
all ri ght with G o d —t h a t I s h oul d actually enjoy r e t i r e me n t .
In a life t o g e t h e r full of bl essi ngs, Lily a nd I feel t he a d­
v e n t u r e o f r e t i r e m e n t is a n o t h e r bl essing. We have not s t o p p e d
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l e a r ni ng. I still c o n t i n u e to write; family a nd f r i ends r e m a i n

cent r al in our lives; a nd we i n t e n d to ma k e c o n t r i b u t i o n s to
t hos e social causes t hat have always b e e n i m p o r t a n t to us. We
now play gol f a g o o d deal of the t i me a n d enjoy it not only for
r e l a xa t i on but also as a n e w a nd s t r a nge l e a r n i n g e x p e r i e n c e .
We are t r avel i ng a b r o a d ever m o r e f r e q u e n t l y — a n o t h e r l e a r n ­
ing e x p e r i e n c e .
No t l ong ago I said to Lily, " Thes e really are o ur g o l d e n
years."
"Hell," she r e t o r t e d , "t hey' r e our p l a t i n u m y e a r s ! "