Autistic Adults Welcome Pack Final
Autistic Adults Welcome Pack Final
Autistic Adults Welcome Pack Final
ADULTS
Resource Pack
for Autistic adults
Self-care derstanding
Un
munity
Com
Un
S e lf- c a r e d ersta n din g
Com
m u nit y
Contents
understanding
Exploring being Autistic
Reframing Autism
Useful Terms & Concepts
Harmful Terms & Concepts
Co-occuring Experiences
self-care
Sensory Profile & Clashes
Spoon Theory
Find What Works for You
Sharing our News & Requesting
Accommodations
For friends & family: How to react when
someone tells you they are Autistic
embracing
Rediscovering Autistic Joy
Unmasking - a Message to Everyone
Finding Community
further resources
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The Importance of
a Good Mirror
By Alice Doyle
@theautisticpoetess
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Welcome
Welcome to this resource pack for Autistic adults!
We hope you will find insights, joy and community through this booklet.
1. Understanding: Here you will find some basic information on being Autistic,
useful terms and resources.
2. Self-care: A lot of us come to our Autistic identities in a time of crisis and
burnout. Here you’ll find some pointers on how to look after yourself as an
Autistic person.
3. Embracing: Here you will find ideas on how to cultivate Autistic joy and
find community.
Of course, there’s only so much that can fit into a tiny booklet like this – we
hope the resources at the end will help you dive deeper and connect with the
community.
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Understanding
Exploring being Autistic
If you are new to the possibility of being Autistic, there is probably a lot going
on for you – and you are receiving a lot of mixed messages. It can be
confusing and overwhelming.
Realising later in life that there is a ‘name for that’ means that we reassess all
our previous life experiences - which often means we open up old wounds to
look at them through a new perspective. It’s important to be careful, kind,
patient and find support in order to avoid re-traumatising ourselves.
Perhaps you aren’t sure where to start, who to talk to about your experience
or how your family, friends or coworkers might react. You might not know
anyone who is openly Autistic.
Being Autistic isn’t a tragedy. Nor is it a superpower. We all have our strengths
and struggles. It can be really helpful to connect with other Autistic people of
various ages, genders, ethnicities, etc. to learn from their lived experience. It’s
an incredible experience to connect with someone who just gets you.
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But please: While you explore this whole new world, please mind your energy
levels (see: Spoon Theory), be kind to yourself, and take your time on your
unique journey.
Reframing autism:
Common misconceptions
Harmful misconceptions around being Autistic are everywhere - including
psychological journals and ‘expert’ advice. The most common misconceptions
revolve around what we allegedly lack. These harmful ideas exist because
people have looked at us and interpreted our behaviours from the outside,
without asking us. The way we communicate, process experiences and relate
to the world looks different to theirs, so they assume we must be less capable.
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Co-occurring experiences
Finding out that we are Autistic often comes as a ‘package deal’. For many of
us ‘late-in-life’ Autistics, it is the first opportunity we get to really explore who
we are on a deeper level, beyond surviving and masking. Here are some
neurotypes, health conditions, and identities that are common among Autistic
people.
This is not to suggest that you or any individual will be or have any of these, it
is simply a common experience, so it might be worth keeping in mind on your
journey.
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Self-care
Sensory profile
Those of us who find out we are Autistic later in life often do so during a time
of extreme crisis or Autistic burnout. In these times, we can become
particularly sensitive to sensory input - or we might have been sensitive all
along but were living in survival mode for so long that we suppressed it.
If you can, take notes throughout the day: Which sensory input stresses you or
causes pain? Which sensory input reenergises or relaxes you? Reducing
negative input and taking time to engage with positive input can make a
huge difference:
smells
tastes
textures
sounds
visuals
movement
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Sensory clashes
Unfortunately, our sensory needs often clash with those of people around us.
It can be useful to do a sensory audit together and discuss clashing needs.
There is rarely a perfect solution for these clashes, but awareness of each
other’s needs can already make a huge difference.
Spoon theory
Maybe you have heard people say “I’m out of spoons” or “I don’t have the
spoons for this”. Spoon theory is a popular metaphor used by Disabled,
chronically ill, and Neurodivergent people to describe their daily energy
levels. A ‘spoon’ symbolises a unit of energy. One day you might wake up with
50 spoons, but another day it might only be 10. Showering might take 5 spoons
on a good day, but 10 on a bad day and 15 if you also have to wash your hair.
The aim is to avoid running out of spoons. If we ‘borrow spoons’ from our
future selves, it will lead to burnout longterm.
Similar to the sensory audit, note down your daily tasks and events for a week
and assign 1-5 spoons to each, depending on whether it cost you energy,
reenergised you, or did a mix of both (then note the difference). Hopefully, this
will help you identify what works for you and what needs changing.
Read a book
Called a friend
For people who are not Autistic, Disabled or chronically ill it is important to
know that they usually have a lot more spoons in general and use them up
less quickly.
Read about the origins of Spoon Theory here.
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Try out body doubling: The idea is simple - have another person with you
in the room (virtually or in person) while you are working on a task. They
can also work on a task of their own. It can be a similar task or something
completely different.
Explore your boundaries: This one’s tough, but vital. If you’re Autistic,
chances are that you have had to ignore your own boundaries a lot. As
Autistics, we constantly accommodate others and deny our own reality to
protect ourselves. It can be scary to unlearn this. Saying no to someone
can trigger our rejection sensitivity. It’s okay to get used to it slowly,
practise with safe people and prioritise saying yes to yourself. Also please
be kind to your past self who did the best they could with the resources
they had.
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It can make things easier if you are in control of the setting and the narrative.
Choose a location and time that means you and the other person won’t be
disturbed, hungry, tired or in a rush. You don’t have to tell people in person -
you could write them an email or a letter. You don’t have to surprise them
either - you could send them a message outlining what you have to say, let it
sit with them for a while so they can process it, then meet up and talk about it.
You can help others understand how you feel about being Autistic by
choosing your words in advance. “I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum
Disorder” will probably get you a different reaction than “I have some exciting
news: Turns out I’m Autistic!”
If you are disclosing in a work context, you can look into what is often called
‘reasonable accommodation’ or ‘reasonable adjustments’ and make a list of
supports that will benefit your wellbeing (or from your employer’s perspective:
your productivity). Citizen information or disability rights organisations near
you can help you find out more about your rights. If you are part of a union,
you might get support there. If you are studying, consult with your college’s
disability or access officer.
If you are talking to your family or partner, just be aware that people might
have heard lots of frightening misinformation about being Autistic. There’s
also a possibility that they are in denial of their own Autistic neurology.
Feel free to share this brochure or any resources from the resource section
with them to help them understand.
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Simply thank the person for inviting you into their life. They are sharing
something important with you, which means they trust you with it.
Appreciate their trust.
Ask them what being Autistic means to them or how they feel. Don't tell
them what *you think* you know about 'autism'. Give them space to share
if they want to. Accept if they don't. This is a complex journey for us with
complex emotions.
Don't assume what an Autistic person likes or needs. Ask them. Everyone is
different. There's no one-fits-all.
Most importantly: Simply hold space. We are not asking you for an
assessment or evaluation. You don't need to react with an opinion. Simply
listen. (And if you or a loved one are Autistic too, you can of course bring it
up, but give the other person some space to share first.)
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Embracing
Rediscovering Autistic Joy
When we first discover that we are Autistic, we often focus on damage
control. There are so many things in life that don’t serve us and it can be hard
to change them.
It can be really helpful - and wonderful - to focus on the joys of being Autistic.
It can be really beneficial to explore our interests. And it can be a great way
to connect with other Autistic people. Find a community that engages in your
interest (online or offline). It can also be fun to organise lightning talks - short
5-7 minute long talks where everyone can share some pictures or words about
their interest.
Stims
People bounce their leg, rub their nose, click their pens. Almost everybody
stims. Stimming isn’t an Autistic thing, it’s a human thing - Autistics are just
really good at it ;-) Maybe you stop yourself from stimming because you’ve
been told that it’s ‘weird’. But it can be really beneficial - and joyful. Have a
look at our stim poster to find out more:
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If you find out you are Autistic later in life, you are usually met with one
message: Unmask. Be your authentic self. Speak your truth. Don’t care what
others think.
It’s easier said than done when being yourself has got you bullied, excluded,
and harmed in the past. Yes, unmasking is wonderful – at our own pace!
Masking is not deception. It’s self-protection. And it’s not always safe to
unmask. It can be dangerous: physically, emotionally, and financially.
Autistic people rarely only wear one mask. Masks come in layers:
If you are Autistic and a person of colour… or a woman… or queer… or poor… or
multiply Disabled... you wear more than one mask. And unmasking poses
additional dangers.
It is not safe for any marginalised group to unmask in front of those who hold
power over us.
Read this excellent post on masking and Autistic burnout by Kieran Rose.
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Finding community
One aspect of self-care that is often overlooked is access to community.
Nothing compares to finding your neuro-kin. Being in a room with people who
just get it. Who don’t judge, because they’ve been there. Who think that the
way you are is perfectly okay. Shame is a social emotion. We heal from it
through connection. It’s incredibly freeing to share something we are
ashamed of - only to hear that most others in the room can relate, and
always thought they were the only one.
Autistic people are often portrayed as ‘living in their own world’. When really,
nobody is more connected to this world than us. But we face rejection time
and time again, so we might withdraw into ‘our own worlds’ as a response.
The Internet has probably been the most important social space for the
Autistic community. It allows for different ways of communication and we can
connect across borders. Most Autistic people will consider ‘online friends’ real
friends. And most Autistic-led spaces are open to self-identified Autistics.
We hope this booklet has been helpful for you. Please find a selection of
Autistic resources below:
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Further resources
(external third-party links are unaffiliated with AUsome Training)
Communities
AutScape: Annual Conference in the UK
Narratives of Neurodiversity Network: Discord Server about writing
Neuro Pride Ireland: Volunteer-led organisation, annual festival
That Au-some book club: Online book club
The Autistic Art Club: Ireland based, Autistic led events online/in person
Books
Extensive Spreadsheet of Recommendations by Neuro Pride Ireland
Extensive Book List for Autistic Adults
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Books
I will die on this hill - Autistic Adults, Autism Parents, and the Children who
deserve a better World by Meghan Ashburn and Jules Edwards
Letters to My Weird Sisters: On Autism and Feminism by Joanne Limburg
Loud Hands: Autistic People Speaking (Anthology) Julia Bascom
Neuroqueer Heresies by Nick Walker
Queerly Autistic: The Ultimate Guide for LGBTQIA+ Teens on the Spectrum
by Erin Ekins
Sincerely, your Autistic child by Emily Paige Ballou, Sharon Davenport,
Morénike Giwa Onaiwu
Speechless by Fiacre Ryan
Standing Up for Myself by Evaleen Whelton
Stim: An Autistic Anthology edited by Lizzie Huxley-Jones
Supporting Transgender Autistic Youth and Adults by Finn Gratton
Trans and Autistic: Stories from Life at the Intersection by Noah Adams
and Bridget Liang
Typed Words Loud Voices edited by Amy Sequenzia & Elizabeth J. Grace
Understanding Autistic Burnout by Viv Dawes
We’re Not Broken: Changing the Autism Conversation by Eric Garcia
What Do You Love Most About Life? Compiled by Chris Bonnello
What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic by Annie Kotowics
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Facebook
Aucademy
Ausome Bullhorn
AUsome Training
AutAngel
Autie-biographical Comics
Autistically Minded
Autistically Scott
Autistic and living the dream
Autistic, Typing
Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network
Black Girl, Lost Keys
Communication First
Greg Santucci, OT
I CAN Network
I’ve been Autistic all along?
Kristy Forbes - Autism & ND Support
Life through my Lens
NeuroClastic
Neurodivergent Rebel
NeuroWild
Nigh.functioning.autism
Reframing Autism
Spectrum Gaming
Spectrumy
The Autistic OT
The Autistic Teacher
The Neurodivergent Teacher
The Occuplaytional Therapist
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Instagram
ADHD Alien
A spoonful of pain
Autistic Book Club
My Autistic Soul
My Neurodivergent Soul
Neuro Divers
The Blindboy Podcast
Twitter/X
Ann Memmott (autism research)
#Actually Autistic
#AskingAutistics
#AutisticTwitter
auti.thinking
Blezzing Dada-BIPOC Irish Mental Health Activist
GymRobCom
Niamh Garvey
YouTube
How to ADHD
Jessica Kellgren-Fozard
Jessie Gender
Neuro Pride Ireland
not so typical kate
Pleasant Peasant Media
Ponderful
Purple Ella
Tori Phantom
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