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Are you sarcastic? Well no duh!

Im impressed, Ive never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.

You: Go to Hell! Me: See you there.

Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today? Id insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldnt understand and if I tried to explain it to you, your brain might implode from information overload Sarcasm is angers evil cousin. -Anger Management People say that laughter is the best medicine your face must be curing the world!

Mirrors cant talk, lucky for you they cant laugh either.

You: Did I ask for your opinion? Me: Nope but guess what you got it anyway!

Boy: Youre not my type. Girl: Why, cause I can read??

Oh my god thats so hilarious, i was in such awe of how funny it was, i forgot to laugh. You: oh my gosh have you been here all the while? Me: noi just returned from a trip to mars.wanna accompany me next time? Hey, you. You got something on your face. Stupidity.

You: Do you think i am stupid. Me: Its not your fault.

You: Nothing is as it seems. Me: Did the aliens tell you that when you took off your foil hat? Oh I didnt tell you.. Then It must be none of your business. Fighting with me is like being in the Special Olympics. You may win, but in the end youre still a retard Tell me .. is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted? awww that`s so cute! you actually think i care Are you really stupid or you are just pretending? The details of your incompetence does not interest me !

Police pulls over a speeding car ; COP: Ive been waiting for you all day. DRIVER: Yeah well I got here as fast as I could. Me (with sincerity): Do you know what I like most about you? You: Nowhat? Me: Absolutely Nothing.

Person: Yeah thats so funny. You: Yeah thats why everyone is laughing.

Theres a very fine line between being sarcastic and being a callous jerk. Many, many people obviously have no idea where that line starts or stops. The best way to determine which is which is to imagine your words coming out of someone elses mouth and imagine theyre being said about you. That should put things in perspective and help you not be someone youd want to strangle if you were on the receiving end of your own sarcasm.

So I Burnt My Hand The Other Day. Then Someone Asks Me: You Did That Hurt?? Me No! I Just Yelled Out In Pain To Annoy Everyone!

>Attempting to give a damn.. >Unable to give a damn.. >Stopping..

>Process failed! [Damn not given]

You: Did I wake you up? Me: Nah Im always awake at 3 am!

When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.

You: Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine! Me: That was so funny that I forgot to laugh.

Other Person: Sarcasm is a Dying Art. Me (Looks person up and down): Not all of us can be Monet. Youre the perfect example!

Parent: Are you taking a tone with me? Me: No, thats your imagination

Other Person: Arent you sarcastic? Me: Me? Never! You can leave now.

Me: You act like such a girl Other Person: I AM a girl. Me: Right. So, uhreally?

Find your patience before I lose mine.

A girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on someones feet Girl: Sorry, did that hurt? Someone: No, not at all, Im on local anesthesia why dont you try again.

Mom: You cant have a coke now! Kid: Why not? Mom: Because its bad for you this early in the morning. Kid: Well how does the coke know its morning?

You : i know Im just an ugly guy..*hoping to be praised* Me : awwh, dont be sad, there are many more uglier people out there.. You : ^!%!$#@$@^@**@&^@%$@ Me : =)

I aint sleeping. I am just looking into my eyelids.

You: Are you sleeping? Me: Im not sleeping, Im just trying to suffocate this bug in my eye it might take a while.

You always do me a favor, when you shut up

You: OMG did you just fall.? Me: No the ground just came up and smacked me in my face.!

Person 1: Can i ask you a question? Person 2: You just did!

A is reading a book, B says B: Are you reading? A: No, Im staring at the book hoping that lasers will come out of my eyes and burn the book.

Oh Im sorry, Im not really good at acting like i care!

Somebody: So you think youre some kind of player? You: No. I know Im the Game!

Person 1: Are you sleeping? Person 2: Oh yes, Im always having conversations in my sleep

Text : Hey, you up??!! Text response: Nope, just fell asleep an hour ago. .

Mom: Is that cake delicious? You: MMMMM No, its awful, thats why Im eating it

Me- What time is it? You- Theres a clock right there. Me- Did i ask you where the clock was!?

You: Are you kidding me? Me: Yes, Im serious

Sales Clerk: Sir are you going to buy that? Person: No, Im just shop lifting it all the way to the cash register

Girl 1: Do you like my new dress? Girl 2: Yeah, I like it are you wearing it for Halloween?

Why are you late? The teacher asked I guess its because i didnt make it in timereplied the student

I dont know what youre problem is. . . But Im pretty sure its hard to pronounce.

A.M. Phone call Hey are you asleep? No Im sky diving!

Oh, Im so sorry! Youre confusing me with someone who cares!

See this hand? Its going to descend in an arc that will, in the process, have contact with your face. *Just warning you. * :<

Question: Do you know who I am???? Answer: No, Why? Have you forgotten?

Person 1: Im not in the mood to hear gibberish. Person 2 : Oh I am ! What were you going to say ?

Sarcasm (n.) the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it!

You: What are you doing? Me: The answer to that question will be revealed from the God given thing that we call eyes.

Person 1: Where are you going? Person 2: Oh, Im sorry, I thought stupidity was contagious. Person 1: Youre right. I probably should go before I get it from you

The movie was awesome!! My favorite part was when it ended.

Do you know sarcasm? - I speak fluently in sarcasm.

Text: You awake???

Reply: No didnt you know I text in my sleep Text back: Ohtext me when youre awake 5 minutes later Text: Are you awake yet?

Person 1: Please dont tell me that . Person 2: Okay, I wont tell you that .

I need you like a fish need a rain coat.

Sarcasm is my mother tongue.

John: Do you know there are 24 hours in a day? Elvine: Really!!! You have a gift John. John: Thanks Elvine: A gift for stating the obvious.

Person 1: What time is it? Person 2: Do I look like a clock to you?

You are about as useful as a white crayon

A: I hate ugly things. B: So Im sure that you hate mirrors.

Cashier: Hi can I help you? Me: No I just stood in line for 10 minutes to say hi

you: God. Youre so stupid! Me: I learned from the best.

DAD. What do you want to be when you grow up? KID.. An adult.

You: I dont understand this. Me: Do you want me to bring a ladder? You: A ladder for what? Me: So you can step up to my intelligence level.

Youre so cheap.

Yeah! & still you cant afford me!

Why do you talk to yourself? Cos I like intelligent conversation.

So what do you want to do?I dunno Well that helps a lot

Oh, you hate your job? Why didnt you say so? Theres a support group for that. Its called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. Why did you commit such a crime like that? He asked Would you rather us commit a crime a different way? Youre pretty. see I can be funny too.

You: Im Sick Of You and Youre Nonsense! Me: Well Take Some Medicine.

You: Are you listening to me? Me : Oh! really? should I? Go ahead.

Love cant be explained, nor can be sarcasm. Feel it!!!

It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.

The moon never followed your car, even though 95% of you believed so, when you were little. :p Didn't you?? :D
-Im sorry did my back hurt you're knife?

And At last u showed me your bitchness . A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.

I dont do fashion im fashion

The camera is an instrument that teaches people how to see without a camera. Your first 10,000 photographs are your worst. Henri Cartier-Bresson

Dorothea Lange

Which of the photographs is my favorite? The one I m going to take tomorrow. There is a vast difference between taking a picture and making a photograph.

Imogen Cunningham Robert Heinecken

Now, to consult the rules of composition before making a picture is a little like consulting the law of gravity before going for a walk. - Edward Weston Film is cheaper than opportunity. - Steve Silberman I find the single most valuable tool in the darkroom is my trash can. John Sexton

I see something special and show it to the camera. The moment is held until someone sees it. Then it is theirs. Sam Abell Landscape photography is the supreme test of the photographer, and often the supreme disappointment. - Ansel Adams I think all art is about control, the encounter between control and uncontrollable. Richard Avedon

Maybe the judgment of whether something is art or not should come from the viewer and not the doer. Alan Babbitt

Hardening of the categories causes art disease. - W. Eugene Smith If I could tell the story in words, I wouldn t need to lug around a camera. Lewis Hine

Light glorifies everything. It transforms and ennobles the most commonplace and ordinary subjects. The object is nothing, light is everything. Leonard Missone The sheer ease with which we can produce a superficial image often leads to creative disaster. Adams Ansel

If you are out there shooting, things will happen for you. If you re not out there, you ll only hear about it. Jay Maisel
* Superrb bistii * :D BOY: "Muj se shadi karo gi" .. ... GIRL: Kyaaaaaaaaaaa? ... ... .. BOY: Achi film hai na..! .. GIRL : Kuttay k bachay..! .. BOY: Whaaaaaaaaaat???? .. GIRL: Kitnay cute hotay hain na.....................:p:D:D /m\ tharki admin

Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. ~Ambrose Bierce

You don't take a photograph. You ask, quietly, to borrow it. ~Author Unknown

Sometimes I do get to places just when God's ready to have somebody click the shutter. ~Ansel Adams

No place is boring, if you've had a good night's sleep and have a pocket full of unexposed film. ~Robert Adams, Darkroom & Creative Camera Techniques, May 1995

It's weird that photographers spend years or even a whole lifetime, trying to capture moments that added together, don't even amount to a couple of hours. ~James Lalropui Keivom

WHEN YOU PHOTOGRAPH PEOPLE IN COLOUR YOU PHOTOGRAPH THEIR CLOTHES. BUT WHEN YOU PHOTOGRAPH PEOPLE IN B&W, YOU PHOTOGRAPH THEIR SOULS! ~TED GRANT
While there is perhaps a province in which the photograph can tell us nothing more than what we see with our own eyes, there is another in which it proves to us how little our eyes permit us to see. ~Dorothea Lange

Often while traveling with a camera we arrive just as the sun slips over the horizon of a moment, too late to expose film, only time enough to expose our hearts. ~Minor White

A photograph is usually looked at - seldom looked into. ~Ansel Adams

There are always two people in every picture: the photographer and the viewer. ~Ansel Adams

The world just does not fit conveniently into the format of a 35mm camera. ~W. Eugene Smith

Dodging and burning are steps to take care of mistakes God made in establishing tonal relationships. ~Ansel Adams

I think a photography class should be a requirement in all educational programs because it makes you see the world rather than just look at it. ~Author Unknown

A good snapshot stops a moment from running away. ~Eudora Welty

The camera can photograph thought. ~Dirk Bogarde

I think the best pictures are often on the edges of any situation, I don't find photographing the situation nearly as interesting as photographing the edges. ~William Albert Allard, "The Photographic Essay"

There are no rules for good photographs, there are only good photographs. ~Ansel Adams

No photographer is as good as the simplest camera. ~Edward Steichen

Every time someone tells me how sharp my photos are, I assume that it isn't a very interesting photograph. If it were, they would have more to say. ~Author Unknown

Perishability in a photograph is important in a picture. If a photograph looks perishable we say, "Gee, I'm glad I have that moment." ~John Loengard, "Pictures Under Discussion"

When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs. When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence. ~Ansel Adams

My portraits are more about me than they are about the people I photograph. ~Richard Avedon

I hate cameras. They are so much more sure than I am about everything. ~John Steinbeck

The departure of our boys to foreign parts with the ever-present possibility that they might never return, taught the real value of photography to every father and mother. To many a mother the photograph of her boy in his country's uniform was the one never-failing consolation. ~Louis Fabian Bachrach

The goal is not to change your subjects, but for the subject to change the photographer. ~Author Unknown

Actually, I'm not all that interested in the subject of photography. Once the picture is in the box, I'm not all that interested in what happens next. Hunters, after all, aren't cooks. ~Henri Cartier-Bresson

There will be times when you will be in the field without a camera. And, you will see the most glorious sunset or the most beautiful scene that you have ever witnessed. Don't be bitter because you can't record it. Sit down, drink it in, and enjoy it for what it is! ~DeGriff

Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop. ~Usman B. Asif

All photos are accurate. None of them is the truth. ~Richard Avedon

The camera cannot lie, but it can be an accessory to untruth. ~Harold Evans, "Pictures on a Page"

You don't take a photograph, you make it. ~Ansel Adams

Buying a Nikon doesn't make you a photographer. It makes you a Nikon owner. ~Author Unknown

Most things in life are moments of pleasure and a lifetime of embarrassment; photography is a moment of embarrassment and a lifetime of pleasure. ~Tony Benn

A great photograph is a full expression of what one feels about what is being photographed in the deepest sense, and is, thereby, a true expression of what one feels about life in its entirety. ~Ansel Adams

I never question what to do, it tells me what to do. The photographs make themselves with my help. ~Ruth Bernhard

It pleases me to take amateur photographs of my garden, and it pleases my garden to make my photographs look professional. ~Robert Brault,www.robertbrault.com

A Ming vase can be well-designed and well-made and is beautiful for that reason alone. I don't think this can be true for photography. Unless there is something a little incomplete and a little strange, it will simply look like a copy of something pretty. We won't take an interest in it. ~John Loengard, "Pictures Under Discussion"

I just think it's important to be direct and honest with people about why you're photographing them and what you're doing. After all, you are taking some of their soul. ~Mary Ellen Mark

I'm not a particularly verbose person. I think that's why I like taking

pictures... they speak for themselves. ~Jeb Dickerson, www.howtomatter.com

Photography records the gamut of feelings written on the human face, the beauty of the earth and skies that man has inherited, and the wealth and confusion man has created. It is a major force in explaining man to man. ~Edward Steichen

The photograph itself doesn't interest me. I want only to capture a minute part of reality. ~Henri Cartier Bresson

The creative act lasts but a brief moment, a lightning instant of give-and-take, just long enough for you to level the camera and to trap the fleeting prey in your little box. ~Henri Cartier Bresson

Photographers deal in things which are continually vanishing and when they have vanished there is no contrivance on earth which can make them come back again. ~Henri Cartier-Bresson

If I could tell the story in words, I wouldn't need to lug around a camera. ~Lewis Hine

Everyone has a photographic memory, but not everyone has film. ~Author Unknown

Photographs that transcend but do not deny their literal situation appeal to me. ~Sam Abbel

A picture is worth a thousand words; a slide show is both. ~Author Unknown

One photo out of focus is a mistake, ten photo out of focus are an experimentation, one hundred photo out of focus are a style. ~Author Unknown

All photographs are there to remind us of what we forget. In this - as in other ways - they are the opposite of paintings. Paintings record what the painter remembers. Because each one of us forgets different things, a photo more than a painting may change its meaning according to who is looking at it. ~John Berger

I didn't want to tell the tree or weed what it was. I wanted it to tell me something and through me express its meaning in nature. ~Wynn Bullock

Photography deals exquisitely with appearances, but nothing is what it appears to be. ~Duane Michals

The negative is the equivalent of the composer's score, and the print the performance. ~Ansel Adams

If I have any message worth giving to a beginner it is that there are no short cuts in photography. Edward Weston 2. There is nothing worse than a brilliant image of a fuzzy concept. -Ansel Adams 3. I have to be as much diplomat as a photographer. Alfred Eisenstaedt 4. If you see something that moves you, and then snap it, you keep a moment. Linda McCartney 5. You dont take a photograph, you make it. -Ansel Adams 6. Of course its all luck. Henri Cartier-Bresson 7. A portrait is not made in the camera but on either side of it. Edward Steichen

8. Notebook. No photographer should be without one! -Ansel Adams 9. Its one thing to make a picture of what a person looks like, its another thing to make a portrait of who they are. Paul Caponigro 10. I shutter to think how many people are underexposed and lacking depth in this field. Rick Steves, 11. Anything more than 500 yards from the car just isnt photogenic. -Edward Weston 12. Sometimes I do get to places just when Gods ready to have somebody click the shutter. Ansel Adams 13. If your pictures arent good enough, youre not close enough. -Robert Capa 14. There are always two people in every picture: the photographer and the viewer. -Ansel Adams 15. Your first 10,000 photographs are your worst. Henri Cartier-Bresson 16. Which of my photographs is my favorite? The one Im going to take tomorrow. Imogen Cunningham 17. For me the printing process is part of the magic of photography. Its that magic that can be exciting, disappointing, rewarding and frustrating all in the same few moments in the darkroom. John Sexton 18. I always thought of photography as a naughty thing to do that was one of my favorite things about it, and when I first did it, I felt very perverse. Diane Arbus 19. I treat the photograph as a work of great complexity in which you can find drama. Add to that a careful composition of landscapes, live photography, the right music and interviews with people, and it becomes a style. Ken Burns 20. In photography there is a reality so subtle that it becomes more real than reality. Alfred Stieglitz Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. Feminine effeminate coquettish

Oye!!! upar dhaik wo haan wo wo Mera level hai


Community December 26th, 3:40pm 11,427 people like this

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